Previously on Royal Pains...
Somebody needs Mama's help, yeah? I'll be right back, okay?
You're choking on something, and I'm going to get it out.
Hey, what are you guys doing? That is my daughter.
You'll have to take this up with Child Protective Services.
Get your... Get your hands off me!
Ma'am? You're under arrest.
What? (SASHI CRIES)
Hello. Uh, I'm Dr. Jeremiah Sacani. I'm looking for Divya Katdare.
Is that how you say it?
Yes. Katdare. I'm her friend.
Your friend's a real piece of work.
Uh, I'm here to take her home.
Sorry. She's staying the night.
Is that necessary, Chief Kern?
It's Officer Kern. And yes.
Uh, may I ask why?
Well, let's see. For starters, she assaulted a police officer.
Divya? Are you certain?
Pretty certain, since it was me when I tried to restrain her.
I'm sorry, that must have been very difficult for you.
Why were you trying to restrain her?
We found Ms. Katdare's daughter left alone in a Range Rover on Windmill Lane,
while she was out shopping.
And to get out of it, she claimed that she had just arrived
and was a doctor or something,
helping someone in medical distress.
Divya is a physician assistant.
It's a fully respected and accredited profession.
Okay. Have a good night.
Maybe you could corroborate her timeline with
the credit card record from her parking meter.
I have someone on that right now.
Did she call 911? If so, I'm sure you've also checked the call logs.
If Ms. Katdare were helping someone in medical distress,
I'm sure the call logs would certainly support her version of the events.
Ripped By mstoll
What do you think about "Papa"? Oh, Evan.
Is that too Hemingway? Then, what, just "Dad"?
"Daddy"? Everyone says "Daddy".
"Sir". Is that too formal?
Don't you think you're jumping the gun just a bit?
I'm just excited.
Who knew trying to make a baby could be this much fun?
Well, just think about how much more fun it will be
when we're back in our own place.
Why, you're not comfortable here?
Listen, I...
I really appreciate Hank letting us crash here. It's just...
What, no privacy? Yeah.
Voices carry? Mmm-hmm.
I hear you.
Hank probably can, too, actually.
Oh, that makes me feel so much better.
Yeah.
Where are you going?
To get a glass of water.
You can't.
What if Hank's date hasn't left yet?
What if they're doing their own baby-making down there?
Just use the bathroom sink.
We really need to get back to our own place.
As soon as snakes stop popping out of our chimney.
"Pops".
Mmm... All right...
MAN: (SINGING) Where the sidewalk ends
The road begins
Right.
Well, good morning. Uh...
And I take it you had a good evening, as well.
Shh. Not so much.
You made her sleep outside? No, of course not.
When she finally let me go upstairs at 4:00 a.m.,
I told her to sleep on the couch. But...
You know what?
HANK: Everything was okay... At first.
Are you going to finish that?
Uh... I... No.
No. Mmm.
I've got nothing against a hearty appetite.
But after my steak, she polished off two bottles of wine.
Oh. It's still going.
But the topper was...
Doctor Delicious?
Yeah?
Can you check out this thingy
I have on my forehead?
I just... I want to make sure it's
not a tumor
or a cyst or
something really bad.
It's...
Yeah.
Okay. So, it's more of a good news, bad news situation.
Um, you don't have a tumor, but you do have a tick up there.
Oh.
I knew I shouldn't have slept in that guy's truck.
Oh.
I couldn't let her drive home like that, so here she is.
Yeah.
What are you boys whispering about?
You made her sleep outside?
No... I did not make her sleep outside.
Oh. Hello.
Good morning.
Oh.
Jeez. Oh, my head.
Becki, this is my brother, Evan, and his wife, Paige.
I will get you some Aspirin.
A dozen or two should do the trick.
Yeah.
Hi, there. Nice to meet you.
Oh...
Well, this isn't too embarrassing.
Don't worry about it.
It's a little embarrassing, but we can handle it. Uh, how was your night?
(COUGHING)
Are you okay? Lt...
It's hard to... (COUGHING) Hey, Hank?
Yeah. Becki can't breathe.
Okay. Okay, take it easy.
Let's, uh... Let's sit you down.
That's it. Has this ever happened before?
Never. Okay.
Becki, do you have any allergies?
Okay, Evan, go get my bag. Get me some EpiPens.
Do you have a family history of anaphylaxis?
You seem to be having an
allergic reaction to something.
I've heard of cases where a bite from a certain tick
can cause a red meat allergy.
I think you're having a delayed reaction to last night's steak.
I'm going to give you an injection which should help you breathe.
(GASPING)
Uh, that didn't work.
No, it didn't. All right.
I'm going to have to intubate. Becki,
I'm going to lay you down, okay?
Easy. That's it.
Okay.
It's okay, Becki.
No. Anaphylaxis is causing too much swelling.
I can't get the tube in.
So, now, what?
Another EpiPen.
What if that one doesn't work?
Then I'm going to have to do an emergency cricothyrotomy to establish an airway.
Damn it. It didn't work?
So, you're going to do the "crico" thing?
Does that involve a... Oh, yeah.
Okay. Oh.
(GASPING)
Did it work? It worked.
You're okay.
Okay, Becki, let's sit you up.
Thank you.
Good thing I didn't ruin an otherwise perfect date.
Yeah. Yeah.
Hey. How about I whip up some eggs and we get some protein in you?
(RETCHING)
Mmm. So, did you pop the question?
Too soon? Yeah, too soon.
Anyone know where our fearless leader is? I mean, it's five after.
It is unlike Evan to be late for a staff meeting.
Sorry I'm late.
Evan will be right with you.
He made it this morning. You guys will love it.
Good morning, angels.
Hank. Divs.
Jeremiah. Hello, Evan.
That's what we get for always sitting in the same seats.
You're all looking wonderful. And, uh...
It is a new shirt. Thank you.
Should we get started? Seriously?
Divya, please stop talking. How on Earth did he...
And welcome to our semi-annual HankMed budget meeting.
Uh, sorry I couldn't join you guys in person. It's just, uh.
My schedule at the hospital made it impossible. So, before you,
you will each see an agenda, a timeline, and minutes from our last budget meeting.
If you'll kindly turn to page one, uh.
Okay. So, I'm going to go grab a bagel before my 10 o'clock.
I'm out of diapers.
Talk to you guys later.
Jeremiah.
Uh...
I wanted to thank you again...
For bailing me and Sashi out yesterday.
I'm glad you were supposed to pick me up at the train station so I could help.
I have been trying to figure this out, but how did you do it?
Actually, it's very simple. I freaked.
Well, when I did that, it just seemed to make the policeman angrier.
No, FREAK is actually an acronym that Bob, my new therapist,
uses to help with potentially challenging social interactions.
I didn't know you were seeing a new therapist.
Yes, it's been very interesting speaking with him.
He's unconventional.
Uh, FREAK, for instance. Um,
"F", face the person with whom you're speaking.
Yes, Katdare. I'm her friend.
"R", react.
Is that necessary, Chief Kern?
"E", empathize.
Oh, I'm sorry. That must have been very difficult for you.
"A", affirm.
I'm sure you've checked the 911 logs.
Uh, and then, finally, "K", kill it.
Not literally homicide. It's...
It's a euphemism meaning do it to the best of your ability.
Yeah, you certainly did kill it.
And I'm glad that I was supposed to get you at the train station, too.
Goodbye, Evan.
(SIGHS)
Hey. You must be Hank. Josh Dunlap.
Yeah. Almost done.
You going to just stand there? All right.
You a runner? Uh, more of a jogger.
Just out of curiosity,
how long are we doing this for?
I've got another patient today,
and I've already showered.
Ha! Just a couple hundred more feet.
Will be 13.1 miles for me.
Wow. Now I feel bad for complaining. Don't.
I'm, uh, training for the Hamptons Triathlon.
Oh, yeah. Isn't that Sunday?
It is. It is. It's my last timed run.
Uh, 117 minutes, three seconds.
Every second counts, every step counted.
You ever see one of these? No.
It's called a Race Band.
It automatically detects and tracks
all my running, cycling, swimming.
Which I've been doing a lot of lately.
Here we go. Let's finish strong.
You got it, pal.
Hold on.
Ah.
What's up, Josh? I...
I've just been. I've been finishing so weak lately.
Instead of building stamina,
I'm just getting light-headed and fatigued.
Do you think I'm pushing myself too hard?
It's a possibility.
Look. I know I'm not exactly the...
Poster boy for a triathlon.
But training for this race
has been the toughest thing I've ever done. I just...
I'd rather die than have it all fall apart right now.
How about we try to avoid both?
Yeah. That would be great.
Morgan, how's it going, man?
Dr. Foley. I heard your request about
WiFi in the elevators loud and clear. I'm working on it. Thanks, Evan.
Stan, I got your email.
I see how much overtime you orderlies have been working.
I'm going to lighten your load.
Thank you, Mr. Lawson.
All right. Margaret Redding.
Head of nursing. Hamptons Heritage employee of 11 years.
Goes by Maggie. Yeah.
Who are you? Evan R. Lawson. I'm your new administrator.
Ah, I heard you were interim administrator. And you can call me Margaret.
Got it.
You know, I've always thought about doing a triathlon.
Well, that's not how they get done.
Right. It's just the open water swimming would just crush me.
You know, we've all got a weak event, Hank.
Ugh. That's why you train.
Right. When I first started,
my, uh, weak event was running.
And biking. And swimming.
Oh. Yeah, but hey...
Now I can swim a whole mile no problem. Yeah.
You know what? I should coach you.
I've got a date with the ocean this afternoon. You want to come?
Uh, yeah. If my day isn't too crazy, I may take you up on that.
I like that.
I'm guessing that tastes better than it looks.
Oh. Kale, celery, organic whey.
Yum.
Any other, uh, dietary changes?
Yeah, as the race has gotten closer,
I started adding MCT oil and creatine into my shakes.
Just for the extra boost.
Yeah, well, if it's supposed to be giving you a boost,
it doesn't seem to be working.
But it could be elevating your blood pressure.
How about you enjoy those smoothies without the creatine?
I'm sure they'll be just as tasty.
Uh... Hey, look, you've gotten this far.
You'll do great Sunday, even without it.
Yeah, well, it's not just Sunday I'm worried about.
See, one of the great things about the Race Band is the social aspect.
I get to share my workouts. You know, see how well I'm doing.
Ah. Daily competition with your training partners.
Uh, partner. Jane.
My girlfriend. And she's kicking my butt.
It's great that you and your girlfriend are training together. Is that, uh.
Is that how you met? Oh, no.
God, no. Uh, we met the same place everybody does these days.
Right. Of course.
And where is that?
Hi.
Hey. Hey.
Hey. How did everything go at the video staff meeting?
Oh, they, um... They loved it.
You didn't stay, did you? Oh, I needed to get ready to meet the exterminator.
(SIGHS) That's okay. Are the snakes gone?
Uh, no. Turns out Do-It-All Pest Control doesn't.
Huh. So, we're back to square one.
I just want to get back home,
so we can get it and us ready for a baby. We will.
We will. We just need to stay patient, okay?
Listen, Evan, I've got to run. I've got a client meeting with Russell.
Hey. We're going to figure all this out.
Okay. I will try to stay patient.
And yet, I can't help but feel crazed and
crazy because it's all so new and exciting.
I mean, Evan, we've never been parents before.
I know.
Okay, I've got to go. Bye.
Hi, there. I, um...
Hypothetically, if someone made a donation about 13 or so years ago,
is there any way to find out if it...
Turned into people?
You don't like them.
She doesn't like them.
Your shirt's nice. Thank you.
Okay, the poses are a little...
Forced. I think Hank looks winning.
Uh, very accurate skin tones. Did you take these pictures, Jeremiah?
I did. Yes.
Look, I don't know how I've avoided online dating so far, but
I think I'm going to be pretty terrible at it.
I mean, there are more dating websites and apps than there are dates.
You've got your Tinder. Your Snapchat.
Coffee Meet Bagel. Grindr.
I don't think you want Grindr.
I'm not sure I want to swipe and tap and double tap and like.
It just kind of makes me long for the simpler times, you know?
I mean, whatever happened to meeting someone face-to-face?
So, then, why are you doing it?
I guess after what happened with my last date, I need to be open to anything.
Not to mention it is where everyone meets these days.
It is? Mmm-hmm.
Hank, why don't you read her the profile you wrote?
Yeah, great idea. I'd love a woman's opinion.
Okay, um... (CLEARS THROAT)
Hey. Sorry I'm late. Oh, Evan, um,
Hank was about to read Divya his dating profile. Uh, I helped him write it.
Would you give us your advice? Oh, yes.
Yes. You did say you'd love a woman's opinion.
Yeah, happy to help. Okay.
Um... I'm Hank.
(BABY GIGGLING) I'm a single doctor who was raised in New Jersey.
Uh, eventually, I found my way to Brooklyn, where I was an ER doctor for a while.
Uh, then I was...
Mahjong, street dance, fluent Spanish.
So. What do you think?
Ev?
Home run.
Hello?
Okay, we'll be right there.
New patient. It's an emergency.
Um, I'll go. Maybe you should stay and work on our profile.
I mean, your profile. Yeah.
Uh, okay. Thank you.
You okay?
Yeah, why?
No, you just... You seem a touch distracted.
And I can't believe I'm saying this, but I could really use your input.
I told you it's great. It's really... It's perfect.
Yeah? Tell me one thing I said.
Okay, I'm sorry. It's just...
I have to tell you something.
When I moved to Brooklyn after college, I...
I needed some money. And, well, there was a...
Sperm bank.
Of course there was. So, I made a donation.
Of course you did. So, I called them to see what happened with it.
Like, if they hit their mark, and how many marks they may have hit,
but they wouldn't say over the phone.
So...
So, what's Paige going to think about the fact that I
might have more kids than an NBA player?
Why, 13 years later, are you suddenly worried about this?
Because I totally forgot about it.
Then, Paige got pregnant, and it just hit me.
Paige is pregnant? No, she was pregnant, now she's not.
That's not the point. The point is that we're trying,
and Paige doesn't know that our baby,
whenever it comes, might have hundreds and hundreds of siblings.
Okay, okay. It doesn't work like that.
Would you please fill me in on Paige's pregnancy?
She was pregnant.
And then, she wasn't.
That's really helpful.
Thank you. After it ended, did she go see her doctor? How is she?
Her doctor's out of town for the week.
Didn't seem like waiting was a big deal. Why, is waiting a big deal?
No, no, no. I'm sure she's fine.
But you okay if I give her a call? Of course.
Okay. One more thing.
Donating your sperm? What were you thinking?
There are easier ways to make money.
Name one.
That's a fair point.
Oh. Thank you for coming so quickly. Come on, Gretyl. Up.
I'm Caroline Koch.
I'm Dr. Sacani. This is Divya.
You said it was an emergency? My tongue died.
Oh, uh... Is it feeling numb?
Or... Or painful?
So much worse than that. And the scariest thing is I know why it happened.
Oh, you do? Yeah.
While Gunther and I don't have children,
we do have our babies. And like any good mama, I love my babies.
And I show them this love with lots of kisses and cuddles.
But yesterday, after I kissed Gretyl,
I realized she had dragged a dead squirrel into the house.
Actually, it was half a squirrel. The wrong half.
You look so familiar. Anyway, after I noticed the dead rodent,
I immediately became nauseous because I realized that whatever poison this
vermin passed on to sweet Gretyl, Gretyl then passed on to me.
How long do I have? Uh, may we see your tongue?
Mrs. Koch, you're not going to die. Uh, well, eventually, obviously.
But, um, did you take Pepto-Bismol when you became nauseous?
How did you know that?
Your discolored tongue is caused by bismuth, an ingredient in Pepto-Bismol.
The bismuth can combine with the sulphur in one's saliva
to produce that type of discoloration.
But that is all it is, an ugly tongue.
And the discoloration will go away on its own.
Thank you. Imagine the irony if Gunther outlived me.
His tongue died years ago, but that's not a problem.
Okay.
Nice to meet you.
Oh, wait, wait, wait. Wait. Don't go just yet.
There is something else that is killing me.
Divya, where do I know you from?
The Blackstone? Watermill Spa?
Oh. You are "Socialite Mom Who Abandoned Baby".
You attacked that police officer. That's not what happened.
How could you know that?
Oh, honey, you are splashed all over danspapers. Com.
Hey, excuse me. Sorry, ma'am.
You'll have to take this up with child protective services.
Child protective what?
Hey, just. Hey, get.
Get your hands off of me! Ma'am, you're under arrest.
More than half of all first pregnancies
result in miscarriages soon after conception.
Usually, the mother never knows she was pregnant.
But since at-home tests detect pregnancy earlier than ever,
women are finding out that they're pregnant before the miscarriage occurs.
Which is what I think happened.
Do you think it will happen again?
I don't know.
But your ultrasound looks fine.
Okay.
Hey. Are you okay?
I am sad.
And I'm scared that
I might not be able to have a baby.
I don't know anything about my birth mother or father, or
their medical history.
I can see why that would make you anxious.
You know, you could get genetic testing.
I mean, it may help answer whether or not you can
have a baby.
The thing is, I think I'm afraid to find out.
So, are you ready for this?
Well, not sure about that.
I thought we'd start off with a mile.
What?
Joking.
No, we'll take it slow... Okay.
Ish.
Oh! I got you a present. Oh.
Yeah. It's got my app on it.
Yeah, now, we can be training partners. Nice.
You start slacking off, I'm going to be texting you to get back to work.
Thank you, I think.
So, what are the chances your app can help me with online dating?
(CHUCKLING) I don't know, man.
I mean, you're the... You're the success story.
Maybe you can give an old man like me some advice. Oh, yeah.
Single, successful, handsome doctor. Yeah, must be agony for you.
No, seriously, I don't get it. I can't even pick my photo.
Seriously? Seriously.
Well, you know what? You should try the site I used.
Yeah, you don't need a picture to start.
It's all about connecting to people based on who you are,
not what you look like.
That sounds more my style. And then, you know,
after you find a personality match for your profile, then you can trade pictures.
Yeah, I don't have a profile yet, either.
Really?
Really. You're really not good at this.
Not good. No.
Okay... So,
there are certain attributes you can use on your profile
that are going to attract a high volume of women.
Okay. Like say, uh, you play guitar
or you watch Homeland or you have tattoos.
You... You do all that?
Well, I've seen Homeland. Like, a couple of times.
Ah.
So, what did Jane say when she discovered you don't
play guitar or have any tattoos?
I'll let you know when she finds out. Huh.
Yeah. Jane and I have actually never met.
Uh, she's from Sydney. We do everything online.
Okay, see, I don't get that. How is that...
Uh, we know each other better than most couples. I mean, I...
I'm able to follow her training regimen, her heart rates, diet...
So, when does she get here?
Tomorrow. (CHUCKLES)
You know any good tattoo parlors?
Kidding... Kind of.
Honestly, if I could do it all over again
I'd be fully above board. Yeah?
My only advice to you is just be yourself. Yeah.
Okay. Hmm.
JOSH: Well, you ready for this? Absolutely.
Let's do this. Here we go.
Whoo.
All right, pace yourself.
Hank, I'm coming for you! Ow, ow, ow!
Hank! Wait up!
Nice, easy strokes!
Did you see my show...
Need me to slow down?
Did you see my, did you see my show...
Josh!
Ah.
Excuse me!
Call 911! Now! Please!
Damn it.
Breathe, Josh.
Come on.
Damn it.
Come on, Josh.
You can do it. Come on.
That's it. That's it.
Okay, okay. Easy breaths.
You okay?
I think so.
Okay. Do you remember what happened?
I was going to ask you.
Okay. We'll get you to the hospital and we'll find out.
You're going to be okay, buddy.
Hi, there.
Hi, I'm Evan R. Lawson. I'm the new administrator.
I just wanted to tell you guys a little bit about my plan to streamline...
The...
You know, stream...
Daddy!
Hi, there. I'm Evan R. Lawson. I'm the new administrator.
Nice to meet you. Yeah.
We met. This morning.
Oh, we did? Sure.
Don't you remember? Of course.
Yeah. Yeah. You are... Uh...
Uh...
Starts with an "M".
Margaret. Right.
Yes, uh, here for 11 years.
Hates when I call her Maggie.
You're going to fit in great here.
Hey. What's happening?
You sounded freaked out. Now I'm freaked out.
I'm glad you're here. Here.
When I was young, I made a terrible mistake, okay?
I... Before I met you. Way before.
I just... I wasn't thinking about the consequences for my future.
Or for our future. You have a child.
I may have more than one.
You were married before?
No, of course not. I...
I needed money.
You were a male prostitute.
What? No.
I... Well...
I donated sperm to a sperm bank.
I called them earlier to see if they would tell me more about it,
but they wouldn't do it over the phone.
So, I'm going to go in there tomorrow.
No, no, no.
We'll both go. Great.
So, you really think I could have been a male prostitute?
Sorry.
You don't seem to have any abnormalities on your EKG.
And your MRI results were also clean.
So, what do you think happened?
I'm not sure. But to be safe,
I want you to stay here until we get your blood tests back.
Is there any chance it could be from anxiety?
Yeah, sure.
I mean, a first triathlon could make anyone anxious.
(CHUCKLES) No, it's not just the race.
Um... You remember how I said that Jane and I were sharing all of our training stats?
Uh-huh.
Well, what I didn't say was that I actually invented Race Band.
So, I can go in and tweak the data a little bit.
Uh-huh.
So, you've been improving your results.
Yeah.
It's just... Training together just made us so close. You know?
And we bonded on this race. Then...
You know, when my times stopped improving, I got scared.
And I was like, "What if she stops liking me?" Gah, I just...
I really like this girl, Hank. I mean, she's special.
I just want to be the guy that Jane thinks I am.
You have got to be kidding me.
Well, that's absolutely ridiculous. Just...
What's ridiculous?
They're calling me a "rich bitch."
A... A liar.
And a terrible mother.
They watch this and they think they know what happened,
but they have no idea what really happened.
And then, they're just assuming the worst.
I don't think you should get yourself invested in these people.
One of them spelled physician with an "F".
I saved a life that day.
But no one believes it because it's not on some website video.
People who write these kinds of comments are bullies.
The only thing worse than physical bullying is cyber bullying.
Except for the punching and the bleeding.
And, uh, having to hide from them in the bathroom.
Well, maybe physical bullying is worse.
But cyber bullies can't do anything but bluster. They don't know you.
They... They don't matter.
By dinner, they'll find something else to get self-righteous about.
What matters is that you saved a life.
And Sashi knows you're a good mother.
Yeah.
Okay. Nice, easy strokes.
(PHONE RINGING)
Yeah, this is Hank.
Hank. Hey.
Um... I fell.
And I went to take my pulse to check my heart rate. Hey, Josh.
Josh, you should call a nurse. They can help faster.
I can't. I left the hospital.
You what? Why?
A doctor told me my blood work was fine, so I took off.
I went biking and I must have passed out again because
next thing I know, I'm on the ground.
Twice in two days. Where are you?
I don't know. But wherever I am, I don't have a pulse.
Hey.
How did you find me?
Uh, your Race Band app.
911's on the way.
Let me take a look.
Yeah, I'm... I'm pretty banged up.
Ah. See, that hurts.
What does? My arm.
Yeah? Like, over here by the elbow?
No. No, it's, like, inside of it.
Am I having a heart attack?
Uh, I don't... I don't think so.
No. Well, is it, uh...
Is it cardiac tamponade? Or ventricular fibrillation?
Or, uh, aortic dissection?
How do you...
Oh, I was googling my symptoms.
There was nothing else to do except wait here to die.
Turns out everything leads to death.
Yeah. Never google your symptoms.
Well, I don't think it's any of those.
And I don't think it's constrictive pericarditis.
You know what? I think it's...
Takayasu's, uh, arteritis? Yeah.
Actually, that may be it.
Well, let me just check something.
No brachial. You don't have a pulse in your left arm,
but the one in your right seems fine.
Combine that with the light-headedness, joint pain,
and shortness of breath you've had,
and Takayasu's makes sense.
Well, now that I know how to pronounce it, what does that mean?
Uh, it's an inflammatory disorder that can cause a
constriction of the aortic arch,
such that when you exercise, your vessels can't get enough blood to your head.
That would explain why I'm passing out.
Which means as soon as this ambulance gets here,
you're going back to the hospital.
And this time, you're going to stay there until I tell you you can leave.
Yeah. No, no, no.
Josh. I'm serious.
Well, not in that tri suit, you're not. Ah.
Your old neighborhood is pretty chic.
Not when I lived here.
The nicest place on the block was a building full of garbage.
It must have been so hard, starting out on your own.
Under a mountain full of student loan debt,
trying to get your first job. Yeah.
Yeah. I get why you had to donate sperm to make ends meet.
Yeah. Actually, funny story.
I did it for a sandwich.
I'm sorry, a what?
Defonte's. Best subs in the world.
Like, my mouth is watering right now thinking about the Big Daddy,
12 inch, with extra pickles. Whoo.
Anyway, Defonte's is cash only.
But I didn't have any that day.
But I needed a Big Daddy. So, I was like, "What am I going to do?"
And then, there it was...
Right across the street. I thought it was the perfect solution.
Until I found out, after I made a donation,
that they don't pay you for the first specimen.
Can you believe that?
You did it for a sandwich?
What could possibly be taking this long?
Do you think I have dozens of files or something?
That would mean I have dozens of children.
Or it means it's been so long, she can't find your file.
But if you do have children out there and they want to know their father,
they will be family.
Our family.
Evan R. Lawson?
Shh. Hi. Yep.
We're right here, where you told us to wait. Remember?
I found your record. Your sample was definitely never used.
Ah. Oh, my God.
Oh, my god. Definitely?
Yeah. Why definitely?
Mmm. I'd donate my sperm for this sandwich.
I get why you did what you did.
Come on. Eat. You'll feel better.
I have no motility.
Not no motility.
Low motility. Low isn't no.
It's just... Slow.
Right? Slow sperm.
That's right. I have sluggish, lazy, lackluster sperm.
I have sperm who roll over and play dead.
I have unmotivated, loser sperm.
I have loser sperm.
Keep it down with the sperm talk.
This is a family restaurant. Of course.
We're... We're really sorry.
Say whatever you want about your slow swimmers.
One of them crossed the channel last week.
That's true.
We were pregnant.
Yeah. And we don't know why it didn't last.
Maybe I have genetic challenges.
You are not blaming yourself.
No, no. There is no blame.
Just the facts of my DNA and yours.
And we're going to learn what we can.
Maybe it's going to be harder to get pregnant than we thought,
but at least we'll be informed.
And Hank's a doctor. He can help us.
No, Paige. We are not telling my brother about my sorry and inadequate sperm.
Okay? Yes, you're imperfect.
And I'm imperfect.
And we are going to try to have a baby,
which will also be imperfect.
But when we have our little baby,
we will be the most perfect imperfect family.
I can't wait.
I really want to be a... Pops.
I know. Eat up, Big Daddy.
You're going to need your strength.
So, they're going to put a mesh tube inside your aorta to hold it open,
which means you will be the proud owner of a stent graft.
While that sounds like a ton of fun...
Uh, I'm going to have to miss the race?
Yeah, I'm afraid so.
And while there's no cure for Takayasu's,
with annual check-ups, you should return to normal.
Which means you'll make next year's race.
Although, by then, I may be out-swimming you.
Ah. You know, I am a pretty good coach.
More than you know. I have a date tonight, thanks to your advice.
Nice. She a fan of Homeland?
She's a fan of the New York Mets, "metsfan86".
We are going to listen to the game tonight against the Phillies. Her idea.
Man, that's old school. Yeah.
Good taste in baseball teams. That could be love.
Speaking of which, how did it go with Jane?
She's on her way right now.
Uh, I don't know if I should be more excited or terrified.
Maybe both.
That's a good point.
Hey.
When she gets here, you think I should, like, play it cool?
Or maybe, uh, open up, show her I'm vulnerable.
How about you just be yourself? Huh.
And if that doesn't work, maybe get some guitar lessons and a tattoo.
Yeah.
Good advice.
Oh.
You're "hamptdoc17"?
You're "metsfan86".
It's fate.
Yeah.
How are you feeling?
Uh, a million times better, thanks to "hamptdoc17".
Imagine if I ended up with "hamptdoc12".
Yeah, I was just thinking the same thing.
Look, I know I didn't exactly impress the other night.
I'm sorry.
And a little mortified.
And the worst part is, you're a really nice guy.
Can you give me a second chance?
Yeah.
Sure, I can.
Great.
Nice spread. Yeah.
God, what a beautiful night, huh?
It is.
So, have you always been a Mets fan, or...
Oh.
No, I don't really follow baseball.
My roommate told me to put that in there
because she said I'd get a lot of hits.
Huh. And here I am.
Shot?
Yeah.
Sure. Whoo.
There were some wonderful candidates in Philadelphia.
I winnowed out the ones I like less.
But, uh, hopefully, we can get the Center for Rare and
Orphan Diseases... Um, the lab...
Fully staffed by the end of the month. That's great.
Yes, and with more manpower, we'll be able to genetically engineer new models...
From construct creation and microinjection
to evaluation and characterization.
(CELLULAR RINGS)
Thank you.
I'll be right back.
This is very important, Sashi.
Because when only a small population is afflicted by a disease,
the funding can be limited. But we'll be able to accelerate research and
development of new treatments by building preclinical models
not only for ourselves, but for global entities, as well.
Come here. Come here.
What's the matter? That was my attorney.
Rafa's lawyers, they...
They saw that video of me online.
They've pulled the custody agreement.
They think they have a case against me as an unfit mother.
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