1 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:17,560 Synced and corrected by Chitorafa www.addic7ed.com 2 00:01:23,301 --> 00:01:24,386 Nah. 3 00:01:25,595 --> 00:01:28,265 Don't get up. I'm all good, thanks. 4 00:01:28,848 --> 00:01:30,350 Yo. 5 00:01:30,433 --> 00:01:34,062 All right, all right. Arms and the Man by Bernard Shaw. 6 00:01:34,146 --> 00:01:35,355 You read that one before? 7 00:01:35,438 --> 00:01:36,439 Mmm-mmm. 8 00:01:36,523 --> 00:01:42,279 After a horrifying sawing accident leaves him armless, 9 00:01:42,362 --> 00:01:46,366 the man sets out on a journey of self-discovery, 10 00:01:46,449 --> 00:01:50,620 realizing that legs can do everything that arms can! 11 00:01:50,703 --> 00:01:52,747 Is this what you do all day? 12 00:01:52,830 --> 00:01:55,708 Well, I mean, I got a nap scheduled later, too. 13 00:01:55,792 --> 00:01:58,253 It probably means "arms" as in "weapons." 14 00:01:58,336 --> 00:01:59,629 Oh. 15 00:01:59,712 --> 00:02:01,714 Yo, it could be both. You know? 16 00:02:01,798 --> 00:02:03,800 Like, dude ain't got no arms, 17 00:02:03,884 --> 00:02:06,219 he gotta figure out how to hold his weapon with his feet. 18 00:02:06,303 --> 00:02:08,430 Like, "Freeze, bitch!" 19 00:02:08,513 --> 00:02:10,891 Ain't you got anything better to do with yourself? 20 00:02:12,475 --> 00:02:15,228 Did you not hear about that nap situation? 21 00:02:15,312 --> 00:02:21,068 Man, you fuckin' lucky 'cause maintenance sucks, yo. 22 00:02:21,151 --> 00:02:26,656 You should see what piles up in the corners of the showers. 23 00:02:26,739 --> 00:02:30,535 Little pube-tropolis of buildings and shit 24 00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:34,289 for spiders and bacteria living their lives, growing... 25 00:02:34,372 --> 00:02:35,790 Well, see, you went urban, right? 26 00:02:35,873 --> 00:02:40,420 I would've said a hair jungle, right? Spiders be jumpin' from pube to pube. 27 00:02:40,503 --> 00:02:44,799 Bacteria's all like, "Fuck. It rains a lot in here. Get off me." 28 00:02:44,882 --> 00:02:47,427 Did you hear about the new job crew? 29 00:02:47,510 --> 00:02:50,180 Supposed to pay a buck an hour. 30 00:02:50,263 --> 00:02:51,806 A buck an hour? 31 00:02:51,889 --> 00:02:54,267 Shit, whatever that is, it's probably way worse than pube town. 32 00:02:54,351 --> 00:02:56,061 Oh, it's a pube town now? 33 00:02:56,144 --> 00:02:59,522 Man, this place ain't fool you enough with that job fair bullshit? 34 00:02:59,606 --> 00:03:02,192 Um, excuse me, pause. 35 00:03:02,275 --> 00:03:08,531 I got two Cherry Pepsis off of that mug, plus, bragging rights. 36 00:03:08,615 --> 00:03:13,116 Yo, fuck that, man. My job is the shit, you know? 37 00:03:13,118 --> 00:03:16,539 I mean, worth way more than buck an hour. 38 00:03:16,623 --> 00:03:19,585 You cannot put a price on Entspannung. 39 00:03:19,983 --> 00:03:21,169 That's "relaxation." 40 00:03:21,253 --> 00:03:25,048 Case in point, I'ma go take me a dip in the honey jar. 41 00:03:25,132 --> 00:03:29,052 Um, it's 8:00 in the morning. You drinking already? 42 00:03:30,262 --> 00:03:32,889 It's always 5:00 in prison. 43 00:03:41,439 --> 00:03:43,984 Oh... 44 00:03:44,067 --> 00:03:45,735 What the fuck? 45 00:03:52,617 --> 00:03:54,244 What's up? 46 00:03:54,327 --> 00:03:55,412 Yo! 47 00:03:56,663 --> 00:03:58,540 My honey's been jacked. 48 00:03:58,623 --> 00:04:01,543 Winnie the Pooh: Tales from the Ghetto. 49 00:04:01,626 --> 00:04:06,006 - Man, these were full yesterday. - Maybe some animal got to 'em. 50 00:04:06,089 --> 00:04:07,882 You're forgetting we living with a bunch of thieves. 51 00:04:07,965 --> 00:04:09,051 Man. 52 00:04:10,398 --> 00:04:11,483 Hey, boss? 53 00:04:12,262 --> 00:04:15,640 I still haven't heard anything from these corporate guys about our benefits. 54 00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:19,561 And I finally got my prescriptions set up online, you know, with our old plan. 55 00:04:19,644 --> 00:04:22,647 Had to pay my niece 50 bucks to help me figure it out. 56 00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:25,817 Please, please tell me there aren't gonna be any changes. 57 00:04:25,900 --> 00:04:27,319 I haven't heard. 58 00:04:28,070 --> 00:04:31,489 C-Dorm got their new mattresses this morning. 59 00:04:31,573 --> 00:04:33,991 Plus, stall doors on all the bathrooms. 60 00:04:35,077 --> 00:04:39,706 Smoke and mirrors. I know it, and I don't trust it. 61 00:04:43,126 --> 00:04:47,839 Did you two walk through the door into a paying job this morning? 62 00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:49,966 Uh-huh. 63 00:04:51,008 --> 00:04:52,177 You're welcome. 64 00:04:57,682 --> 00:05:00,977 - Is everything all right? - I needed to cool off. 65 00:05:01,061 --> 00:05:03,105 I'm sweating in places I didn't even know that sweated. 66 00:05:03,188 --> 00:05:05,607 Well, stick an ice cube in your bra and get back to work. 67 00:05:05,690 --> 00:05:08,110 I gotta get these inventory numbers to the new guys by 3:00. 68 00:05:08,193 --> 00:05:10,027 Where's Norma? I thought she was helping. 69 00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:14,491 _ 70 00:05:14,574 --> 00:05:15,825 _ 71 00:05:15,908 --> 00:05:17,660 _ 72 00:05:17,744 --> 00:05:21,522 _ 73 00:05:21,524 --> 00:05:24,209 I wouldn't mind handling a big hose. 74 00:05:24,292 --> 00:05:26,336 I hear they're setting up a call center. 75 00:05:26,419 --> 00:05:27,879 Uh? 76 00:05:27,962 --> 00:05:31,674 With my sexy voice, I'll be making mad commissions. 77 00:05:31,758 --> 00:05:32,800 Commissions? Right. 78 00:05:32,884 --> 00:05:35,553 You get 10% of nothing on every nothing you nothing. 79 00:05:35,637 --> 00:05:39,474 Look, nobody here is applying to the new job, comprende? 80 00:05:40,803 --> 00:05:42,763 We got a good thing going here. 81 00:05:46,135 --> 00:05:49,776 Norma! One potato, two potato! Start counting! 82 00:05:49,859 --> 00:05:51,778 And the rest of you, start slicing carrots. 83 00:05:51,861 --> 00:05:55,240 And be grateful that you're not scrubbing toilets no more. 84 00:05:56,991 --> 00:05:58,660 What you got there? 85 00:06:00,620 --> 00:06:04,009 Oh, you busting out on your own now? No? Right. 86 00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:07,877 Go count that with the others. Vamos! 87 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,587 I need numbers! 88 00:06:10,838 --> 00:06:13,716 What if it turns out to be, like, picking up trash on the side of the road? 89 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,343 They don't pay that much for dummy work. 90 00:06:15,427 --> 00:06:19,222 Nah, whatever it is, it's gonna take skills and smarts. 91 00:06:19,306 --> 00:06:20,932 Yeah, what're you gonna wow them with? 92 00:06:21,015 --> 00:06:22,517 Your eyeliner skills, 93 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:26,521 or your smarts about how many words rhyme with bleak in emo songs? 94 00:06:26,604 --> 00:06:29,941 Fuck you and your stupid sad face. We didn't take your baby away, okay? 95 00:06:30,024 --> 00:06:31,734 Yeah? You should shut up about shit you don't know about. 96 00:06:31,818 --> 00:06:32,902 - You should shut up, you know. - Hey! 97 00:06:32,985 --> 00:06:34,028 At least I got ambition. 98 00:06:34,111 --> 00:06:35,112 _ 99 00:06:35,197 --> 00:06:37,199 _ 100 00:06:37,282 --> 00:06:38,491 _ 101 00:06:38,575 --> 00:06:39,576 _ 102 00:06:39,659 --> 00:06:41,369 _ 103 00:06:41,453 --> 00:06:43,621 _ 104 00:06:44,497 --> 00:06:45,748 Whoa! 105 00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:49,752 You, go scrub some pans. 106 00:06:49,836 --> 00:06:53,215 - What? Gross. She started this shit! - Now! 107 00:06:54,716 --> 00:06:56,968 I'm so done with this depressing-ass place. 108 00:06:57,051 --> 00:07:00,179 _ 109 00:07:00,263 --> 00:07:03,808 I just really miss you. I'm so jealous. 110 00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:06,603 Oh, baby, it's work. And it's fuckin' Kesha. 111 00:07:06,686 --> 00:07:08,521 You're not missing anything. Seriously. 112 00:07:08,605 --> 00:07:12,317 When you gonna let me sell with you? Or sell my own stuff? 113 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:16,779 My phone bill is, like, crazy every month. Just give me a little something. 114 00:07:16,863 --> 00:07:19,366 The kids at my school are, like, dying for it. 115 00:07:19,449 --> 00:07:21,618 If you need money for your phone bill, I got you. 116 00:07:22,198 --> 00:07:23,828 I wanna make my own money. 117 00:07:24,829 --> 00:07:26,373 So, I can buy you a present. 118 00:07:27,081 --> 00:07:28,750 You're my present, baby. 119 00:07:29,376 --> 00:07:31,503 _ 120 00:07:31,586 --> 00:07:33,838 _ 121 00:07:35,382 --> 00:07:37,342 I gotta go, baby. 122 00:07:37,425 --> 00:07:39,344 - I love you. - I love you, too. 123 00:07:40,177 --> 00:07:42,138 _ 124 00:07:42,222 --> 00:07:44,098 _ 125 00:07:47,269 --> 00:07:49,020 _ 126 00:07:49,103 --> 00:07:51,773 _ 127 00:07:51,856 --> 00:07:54,817 _ 128 00:07:54,901 --> 00:07:56,444 _ 129 00:07:56,528 --> 00:07:57,945 _ 130 00:07:58,029 --> 00:08:01,366 _ 131 00:08:01,449 --> 00:08:03,493 _ 132 00:08:03,576 --> 00:08:05,202 _ 133 00:08:05,287 --> 00:08:07,414 _ 134 00:08:07,497 --> 00:08:10,333 _ 135 00:08:11,042 --> 00:08:12,960 _ 136 00:08:13,044 --> 00:08:15,297 _ 137 00:08:15,380 --> 00:08:19,091 _ 138 00:08:19,175 --> 00:08:21,928 This is for a wedding? It's got no back. 139 00:08:24,055 --> 00:08:26,683 It's Emma Stone's Golden Globe dress. The peach one. 140 00:08:26,766 --> 00:08:29,101 But Mrs. Ramirez is, like, 57. 141 00:08:29,185 --> 00:08:30,895 She's still got a nice back. 142 00:08:32,146 --> 00:08:34,607 It looks really good. 143 00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:37,944 I know. I do good work. 144 00:08:38,596 --> 00:08:39,862 But even if I didn't... 145 00:08:41,238 --> 00:08:43,741 I'm gonna sew a Calvin Klein label on it. 146 00:08:43,825 --> 00:08:46,619 So now you're Theresa Gonzales for Calvin Klein. 147 00:08:46,621 --> 00:08:50,333 Hey, more often than not, people believe what you tell them. 148 00:08:57,630 --> 00:09:01,884 What's all this... scuttlebutt with the new job assignment? 149 00:09:01,968 --> 00:09:03,345 Scuttlebutt? 150 00:09:03,428 --> 00:09:07,640 The gossip, the lowdown, the 411. 151 00:09:07,724 --> 00:09:08,766 Oh. 152 00:09:09,684 --> 00:09:13,771 Someone said it was a party planning job. I stopped listening after that. 153 00:09:14,647 --> 00:09:18,401 Electrical sucks without Nicky's running commentary. 154 00:09:19,235 --> 00:09:22,697 I wouldn't mind a new job assignment. 155 00:09:24,449 --> 00:09:27,327 - Is my look off-putting? - Off-putting? 156 00:09:28,411 --> 00:09:32,499 Harsh, scary... not pleasing. 157 00:09:39,296 --> 00:09:44,677 There is a certain... hardness... 158 00:09:44,761 --> 00:09:48,556 to your overall... thing. 159 00:09:50,182 --> 00:09:54,151 Listen to you, being frank and honest. Good. 160 00:09:54,937 --> 00:09:57,148 Now, tell me how to soften things. 161 00:09:57,231 --> 00:09:59,627 I thought that you and Dmitri were kaput. 162 00:09:59,629 --> 00:10:01,798 That was not an invitation to pry into my life. 163 00:10:02,111 --> 00:10:04,614 A little beauty advice is all I'm after. 164 00:10:05,119 --> 00:10:07,283 Beauty comes from the inside. 165 00:10:07,541 --> 00:10:08,410 Hmm. 166 00:10:08,993 --> 00:10:14,457 However... smudging the corner of your eyeliner, 167 00:10:14,541 --> 00:10:17,460 not spiking your hair, 168 00:10:17,544 --> 00:10:21,338 and a lighter lip couldn't hurt. 169 00:10:21,423 --> 00:10:22,632 Um... 170 00:10:22,715 --> 00:10:23,883 Ha! 171 00:10:34,143 --> 00:10:35,144 Hey, Pearson. 172 00:10:35,227 --> 00:10:38,898 Morning. You know, Danny's fine. 173 00:10:41,901 --> 00:10:44,571 Oh, well, we mostly use last names around here. 174 00:10:44,654 --> 00:10:47,574 Cool, cool. Yeah, whatever you think makes sense. 175 00:10:50,618 --> 00:10:51,953 You need to go? 176 00:10:53,079 --> 00:10:54,747 Oh, no. No, uh... 177 00:10:54,831 --> 00:10:56,666 I just... I had... 178 00:10:56,749 --> 00:10:58,668 My hands... I had to wash my hands. 179 00:10:58,751 --> 00:11:01,838 Sometimes I need to count five metal objects before I can pee. 180 00:11:01,921 --> 00:11:02,922 Huh? 181 00:11:03,005 --> 00:11:06,383 Door hinge, door hinge, flusher, tap, faucet. 182 00:11:06,468 --> 00:11:08,219 Got this place wired. After you. 183 00:11:08,302 --> 00:11:09,846 Oh. 184 00:11:09,929 --> 00:11:10,930 Sure. 185 00:11:14,225 --> 00:11:17,770 So you guys fired the warden. That was a surprise. 186 00:11:17,854 --> 00:11:21,483 Yeah. Well, we absorbed the position. Whatever that means. 187 00:11:21,566 --> 00:11:24,276 Like we had soaked him up or something, but, uh... 188 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:27,864 Good news for you though is, uh, you know, you're our main man on the ground. 189 00:11:27,947 --> 00:11:32,451 - Everyone's been very happy so far. - Oh, great. Great. I... 190 00:11:33,369 --> 00:11:38,165 I was thinking, maybe we could have a meeting, all of us, old, new. 191 00:11:38,249 --> 00:11:41,252 - Make sure we're on the same page. - Oh, yeah, yeah. Sure, sure. 192 00:11:41,335 --> 00:11:44,797 No, I think Jones or maybe Carson is setting something like that up. 193 00:11:44,881 --> 00:11:48,467 Everyone's checking their calendars. It takes forever, you know what I mean? 194 00:11:48,551 --> 00:11:50,637 Just like, everyone wants to be the alpha dog. 195 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:55,307 This time! That time! Woof! But, uh, I'll make the call on it soon. 196 00:11:55,391 --> 00:11:58,310 - You'll make the call? - Yeah. Yeah, I'll let you know. 197 00:11:59,306 --> 00:12:00,390 Mr. Caputo? 198 00:12:02,189 --> 00:12:03,232 Oh! 199 00:12:03,315 --> 00:12:04,651 I made these for you. 200 00:12:04,734 --> 00:12:06,193 Look at that. 201 00:12:06,277 --> 00:12:08,154 Any word on that new job situation? 202 00:12:08,237 --> 00:12:11,032 Unconfirmed, Black. Keep moving. 203 00:12:11,115 --> 00:12:12,199 Fine. 204 00:12:12,992 --> 00:12:15,662 But I want you to know that I have a wide array of talents, 205 00:12:15,745 --> 00:12:17,914 besides the criminal and papier-mâché variety. 206 00:12:17,997 --> 00:12:21,333 - Oh, I am sure you do. - Good. 207 00:12:23,044 --> 00:12:26,923 How do they, uh, know about the job? 208 00:12:27,006 --> 00:12:31,824 Well, you're renovating a building out there that's been empty since the '90s. 209 00:12:32,136 --> 00:12:37,058 Any sniff in a break in the monotony, and these girls are all over it. 210 00:12:37,141 --> 00:12:41,813 In fact, that was one of the things I was hoping we could all discuss. 211 00:12:41,896 --> 00:12:44,190 You throw off the whole prison economy 212 00:12:44,273 --> 00:12:48,611 when you introduce a job that's paying 10 times the going rate. 213 00:12:48,695 --> 00:12:50,655 I mean, it could get ugly. 214 00:12:50,738 --> 00:12:53,532 Yeah, I could see that. Well, we, uh... 215 00:12:53,616 --> 00:12:57,036 We have a system that I think will limit the ugliness. 216 00:12:57,119 --> 00:12:58,580 - A system? - Yeah. 217 00:12:58,663 --> 00:13:02,374 That's great. Well, maybe we can talk more about that? 218 00:13:02,458 --> 00:13:05,169 Sure, yeah. Talk right now. 219 00:13:05,252 --> 00:13:06,295 Go up to my office, 220 00:13:06,378 --> 00:13:09,591 I could pour us a... couple big glasses of water. 221 00:13:09,674 --> 00:13:12,259 - I, um... - You have to pee, don't ya? 222 00:13:12,343 --> 00:13:13,970 Very much so. 223 00:13:14,053 --> 00:13:16,055 All right. To be continued. 224 00:13:16,138 --> 00:13:18,515 Okay, okay. 225 00:13:21,435 --> 00:13:23,312 - Oh! - Oh. 226 00:13:23,395 --> 00:13:25,564 - Hello, Red. - Hello! 227 00:13:25,648 --> 00:13:26,858 Were you coming by to see me? 228 00:13:26,941 --> 00:13:30,194 Came in for a drink of water. It's a beautiful day. 229 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,822 Is it? I was stuck inside doing paperwork. 230 00:13:32,905 --> 00:13:34,741 - Oh. - Who's the real prisoner? 231 00:13:34,824 --> 00:13:36,408 Still me, I think. 232 00:13:37,576 --> 00:13:43,207 Hey. You look, I don't know... You look lighter. 233 00:13:43,290 --> 00:13:45,084 I feel lighter. 234 00:13:45,167 --> 00:13:48,087 The new regime has fixed all the soap dispensers. 235 00:13:48,170 --> 00:13:51,090 Feels like opportunities are sprouting up all around us. 236 00:13:51,173 --> 00:13:52,383 It's funny that you say that. 237 00:13:52,466 --> 00:13:53,968 Just the other day I was talking to someone... 238 00:13:54,051 --> 00:13:55,845 Hey, Healy. I got a question for you. 239 00:13:55,928 --> 00:13:58,555 - Reznikov, is it? - Red. 240 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,474 Berdie. Sorry to interrupt. 241 00:14:00,557 --> 00:14:03,144 Um, do you know who I can get to drill a hole in my desk? 242 00:14:03,227 --> 00:14:04,937 I wanna run my lamp and computer cords through 243 00:14:05,021 --> 00:14:06,605 so they're not all hanging out there, you know. 244 00:14:06,689 --> 00:14:07,815 When you need something like that done, 245 00:14:07,899 --> 00:14:10,234 it needs to be cleared through Admin first. 246 00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:12,403 What? That's silly. Who's on maintenance crew? 247 00:14:13,487 --> 00:14:14,822 You're on your own with this one. 248 00:14:14,906 --> 00:14:17,074 Come on, give me a name. 249 00:14:17,158 --> 00:14:20,452 Try Portolino or Wiggins. They'll be able to help you. 250 00:14:20,536 --> 00:14:22,121 Awesome, thank you. 251 00:14:22,204 --> 00:14:25,667 You should come visit me, Red. Check out my clean, cordless environment. 252 00:14:25,750 --> 00:14:28,210 We'll have a cup of tea. See you later, Healy. 253 00:14:30,046 --> 00:14:32,589 Not enjoying your new colleague, hmm? 254 00:14:32,674 --> 00:14:34,550 She's perky. I mean, who's that perky? 255 00:14:34,634 --> 00:14:38,930 I agree. Perk is for coffee. It's deplorable in people. 256 00:14:39,013 --> 00:14:41,974 You missed a button. 257 00:14:48,605 --> 00:14:51,233 There you go. Now you're perfect. 258 00:14:52,484 --> 00:14:53,485 Thank you. 259 00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:59,659 I was just gonna go and, uh... 260 00:14:59,742 --> 00:15:03,329 get myself a perky cup of coffee in the break room. 261 00:15:05,206 --> 00:15:06,791 Well, don't drink too much. 262 00:15:06,874 --> 00:15:09,376 Coffee can inflame the lining of the small intestine 263 00:15:09,460 --> 00:15:11,337 and lead to irritable bowels. 264 00:15:13,673 --> 00:15:15,549 I'll keep that in mind. 265 00:15:23,307 --> 00:15:26,018 You know what some cultures do to people who steal eggs? 266 00:15:26,512 --> 00:15:28,098 They cut their hands off. 267 00:15:28,771 --> 00:15:32,900 According to my last count, you owe me... 268 00:15:33,163 --> 00:15:34,664 four fucking hands. 269 00:15:36,362 --> 00:15:38,781 When I helped you out with the Vee situation, 270 00:15:38,865 --> 00:15:41,367 we had a little cross-cultural understanding. 271 00:15:41,450 --> 00:15:46,199 But I don't remember giving you permission to set up your own shop, Magic Norma. 272 00:15:46,831 --> 00:15:47,915 Especially not for free. 273 00:15:47,999 --> 00:15:50,035 And especially when you don't know what the fuck you're doing. 274 00:15:50,542 --> 00:15:54,176 Santeria is some serious shit. 275 00:15:54,797 --> 00:15:56,841 You start messing around, you piss off the orishas! 276 00:15:56,924 --> 00:16:00,677 Mira, I... I don't need that on me. 277 00:16:01,804 --> 00:16:04,515 And that's why I'm gonna take back... 278 00:16:07,018 --> 00:16:08,560 my candle. 279 00:16:08,644 --> 00:16:13,858 Oh, look. My eggs, my beads, my honey. 280 00:16:13,941 --> 00:16:16,903 This ain't... your history. 281 00:16:16,986 --> 00:16:20,406 It ain't your culture. It stops now. 282 00:16:25,619 --> 00:16:28,873 Fine, you can keep the honey, but it's for eating only. 283 00:16:28,956 --> 00:16:30,833 I see you anointing anything with this, 284 00:16:30,917 --> 00:16:33,335 it's gonna be the last sweet thing in your life. 285 00:16:46,265 --> 00:16:48,935 I don't care what Gloria says, I'm going for it. 286 00:16:49,018 --> 00:16:51,437 Gonna kill that interview like at the job fair. 287 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:52,855 But you lost job fair. 288 00:16:52,939 --> 00:16:55,066 Yeah, but this time there won't be an audience, 289 00:16:55,149 --> 00:16:56,733 so they won't get all, like, PC, 290 00:16:56,818 --> 00:16:59,904 and give it to the fat mayate so she don't get all sad. 291 00:16:59,987 --> 00:17:01,530 Gloria's right, though. 292 00:17:01,613 --> 00:17:03,574 It's good all of us together. 293 00:17:03,657 --> 00:17:05,868 Who knows who they'll stick in to replace you. 294 00:17:05,952 --> 00:17:08,245 What if she's mean or likes Coldplay or something? 295 00:17:08,329 --> 00:17:09,872 It's all gelling right now. 296 00:17:09,956 --> 00:17:12,166 So, I'm supposed to put on that feo hair net 297 00:17:12,249 --> 00:17:14,585 and scrub pots and pans every day because it's gelling? 298 00:17:14,668 --> 00:17:15,878 I'm so much better than that. 299 00:17:15,962 --> 00:17:18,005 - You saying you're better than me? - No! 300 00:17:18,089 --> 00:17:22,218 You're good, too. All I'm saying is that I got aspirations. 301 00:17:22,301 --> 00:17:24,470 I always have, even in here. 302 00:17:24,553 --> 00:17:27,223 You know, when I wear that apron in the kitchen... 303 00:17:27,306 --> 00:17:29,016 I'm really wearing it ironically. 304 00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:30,184 Wow. 305 00:17:31,060 --> 00:17:32,353 I had no idea. 306 00:17:33,687 --> 00:17:37,149 So I thought, I gotta do like my mom and just knock it off. 307 00:17:37,233 --> 00:17:38,860 You can do, like, chemistry? 308 00:17:38,943 --> 00:17:41,278 Nah, nah. Not even. 309 00:17:42,613 --> 00:17:44,573 So I found, like, blotter clip art. 310 00:17:44,656 --> 00:17:46,700 I printed it out. 311 00:17:46,783 --> 00:17:48,160 I wet it a little bit. 312 00:17:48,244 --> 00:17:49,871 Then, I blow dried it, 313 00:17:49,954 --> 00:17:52,498 made little squares, and I was in business. 314 00:17:52,581 --> 00:17:54,625 Selling fake designer acid. 315 00:17:54,708 --> 00:17:57,586 Brought it to the game on Friday. By halftime, sold out. 316 00:17:57,669 --> 00:17:59,338 - What? - I made some more yesterday. 317 00:17:59,421 --> 00:18:00,840 Little cherries, so cute. 318 00:18:00,923 --> 00:18:04,385 And check it, bought me some flatforms! 319 00:18:04,468 --> 00:18:07,554 Oh! Those are cute. They're like flats and platforms in one? 320 00:18:07,638 --> 00:18:10,266 Wow. That's why they're called flatforms, dumb-ass. 321 00:18:11,308 --> 00:18:12,684 Yo, Marisol. 322 00:18:14,603 --> 00:18:17,106 Hey, Arturo. Arturo's friends. 323 00:18:18,149 --> 00:18:21,110 Willy said he saw green alien guys when he was tripping on your shit. 324 00:18:21,193 --> 00:18:24,821 - They were leprechauns. - Dude, aliens sounds so much cooler. 325 00:18:24,906 --> 00:18:27,158 But they had little hats. 326 00:18:27,241 --> 00:18:31,578 Aliens can't have little hats because of their antennas or whatever. 327 00:18:32,288 --> 00:18:35,582 Do you think you could hook us up again? My boy Jason here wants to try it. 328 00:18:35,666 --> 00:18:37,501 Lately, he's been kind of down. 329 00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:39,670 Yeah, I could hook you up. 330 00:18:40,113 --> 00:18:43,966 But remember, it's not for escaping reality, 331 00:18:44,050 --> 00:18:46,177 it's for, like, embracing it. 332 00:18:47,261 --> 00:18:48,387 Yes, ma'am. 333 00:18:57,688 --> 00:19:00,107 Oh, my God. It's totally working. 334 00:19:00,191 --> 00:19:02,734 - People will believe what you tell 'em. - Until they don't. 335 00:19:02,818 --> 00:19:05,862 Someone's gonna come back pissed and ask for a refund, 336 00:19:05,947 --> 00:19:07,531 or punch you in the face or something. 337 00:19:07,614 --> 00:19:09,033 No, no, no, no, no. 338 00:19:09,116 --> 00:19:13,245 If they come back, I say, "Hold up. What happened when you took it?" 339 00:19:13,329 --> 00:19:16,332 And if they say, "Nothing," I say, "What is nothing? 340 00:19:16,415 --> 00:19:19,376 Because some people say there was nothing when the universe was created, 341 00:19:19,460 --> 00:19:22,879 but, like... isn't empty space still something? 342 00:19:22,964 --> 00:19:25,925 Open your mind to the possibilities. 343 00:19:26,008 --> 00:19:28,094 Maybe you're not doin' it right." 344 00:19:28,177 --> 00:19:31,222 And then, they come back because they feel like they didn't do it right. 345 00:19:31,305 --> 00:19:33,432 Girl, I thought this shit through. 346 00:19:33,887 --> 00:19:36,560 - You're such a mad genius. - Yup. 347 00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:40,189 Look at you! Round and round. 348 00:19:40,272 --> 00:19:43,525 Round all around. That's nice. 349 00:19:43,609 --> 00:19:46,070 Just get to it. Did you find him? 350 00:19:46,153 --> 00:19:50,324 Daya, that fucker hobbled away into the sunset. 351 00:19:50,785 --> 00:19:55,287 I got into his house, nothing left except some shitty clothes. 352 00:19:55,371 --> 00:19:57,914 I found a mug in the sink that looked like a grenade. 353 00:19:57,999 --> 00:20:00,584 I thought that was cool. I saved that for you. 354 00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:02,169 But he's gone. 355 00:20:05,589 --> 00:20:10,052 Daya, fuck that guy. You're better off. 356 00:20:11,428 --> 00:20:13,347 He had one leg. 357 00:20:14,515 --> 00:20:18,185 I mean, you go around losing body parts, 358 00:20:18,269 --> 00:20:20,562 that's some pretty irresponsible shit! 359 00:20:21,272 --> 00:20:24,984 I was such a bitch. I drove him away. 360 00:20:25,067 --> 00:20:28,612 You have a life growing inside of you. 361 00:20:28,695 --> 00:20:34,326 That makes you say and do all kinds of crazy shit that make no sense. 362 00:20:34,410 --> 00:20:39,540 But a real man knows he has to suck it up and take it for nine months. 363 00:20:39,542 --> 00:20:42,670 Maybe you get a little side action if need be. 364 00:20:43,877 --> 00:20:45,379 But you don't split. 365 00:20:46,838 --> 00:20:50,551 Even your loser father stuck around till you was two. 366 00:20:51,885 --> 00:20:55,181 The leaving is on him, that's not on you. 367 00:20:57,016 --> 00:20:58,809 So, what's gonna happen now? 368 00:21:01,437 --> 00:21:02,646 You're gonna take the baby, right? 369 00:21:03,397 --> 00:21:06,108 Uh... Whoa. 370 00:21:07,026 --> 00:21:11,822 Daya, I love you and I love your mother, but shit is real hard out here, okay? 371 00:21:11,905 --> 00:21:14,283 And then, your holy abuela, you know, 372 00:21:14,366 --> 00:21:18,204 she hookin' up with some old dude that she met in tai chi. 373 00:21:18,287 --> 00:21:20,372 Hardly ever see her anymore! 374 00:21:21,248 --> 00:21:23,625 Christina. 375 00:21:23,709 --> 00:21:26,753 Christina got some decent mommy skills. 376 00:21:26,837 --> 00:21:29,423 Maybe she can take care of the baby for a little while. 377 00:21:29,506 --> 00:21:31,007 She's in junior high. 378 00:21:31,092 --> 00:21:34,192 So what? Junior high will still be there! 379 00:21:34,309 --> 00:21:37,067 Plus, she's already done, what, two years? 380 00:21:37,556 --> 00:21:40,934 Yo, it's all good. It's all good. 381 00:21:42,394 --> 00:21:43,729 I actually thought he loved me. 382 00:21:43,812 --> 00:21:47,233 And he probably did, Daya. All guys love you. 383 00:21:47,316 --> 00:21:49,443 Because you're such a good girl. 384 00:21:50,861 --> 00:21:51,987 But you know what? 385 00:21:52,332 --> 00:21:57,076 Sometimes love ain't stronger than débil. 386 00:21:58,244 --> 00:22:00,954 That guy was a bitch! 387 00:22:01,037 --> 00:22:04,250 This inside me? It feels like a grenade right now. 388 00:22:06,001 --> 00:22:09,713 And soon, it's gonna blow up and take me with it. 389 00:22:11,173 --> 00:22:13,049 It's not a mug. 390 00:22:16,011 --> 00:22:18,472 My poor baby, man. 391 00:22:20,266 --> 00:22:21,934 I'm sorry, Daya. 392 00:22:22,476 --> 00:22:26,730 If it makes you feel any better, next time I see that motherfucker, 393 00:22:26,855 --> 00:22:28,899 I'm gonna rape his ass with a broken bottle, 394 00:22:28,982 --> 00:22:32,020 and I'm gonna shoot him in the stomach so he bleeds slow. 395 00:22:32,319 --> 00:22:35,197 - That I'm gonna do for you. - Thank you. 396 00:22:36,573 --> 00:22:37,658 You're welcome. 397 00:22:39,368 --> 00:22:42,246 You need to complete the test in 12 minutes. 398 00:22:42,329 --> 00:22:44,415 Twelve minutes. 399 00:22:44,498 --> 00:22:46,250 Be honest with your answers. 400 00:22:46,333 --> 00:22:49,961 And all pencils must be returned at the end of the test. 401 00:22:50,045 --> 00:22:53,715 If you do not return your pencils, you will be given a... 402 00:22:53,799 --> 00:22:55,301 - Present. - ...shot. 403 00:22:59,596 --> 00:23:01,432 Well, look who's here. 404 00:23:01,515 --> 00:23:02,516 _ 405 00:23:03,267 --> 00:23:05,060 _ 406 00:23:05,143 --> 00:23:07,479 _ 407 00:23:07,563 --> 00:23:09,481 A test? 408 00:23:09,565 --> 00:23:14,403 Shit, I fucking suck at taking tests! I get all itchy and anxious. 409 00:23:15,571 --> 00:23:16,988 I can't think straight. 410 00:23:17,072 --> 00:23:19,200 _ 411 00:23:19,283 --> 00:23:22,203 Don't turn the test over till I say begin. 412 00:23:23,662 --> 00:23:27,833 Now I know they serious about this job. Written test? 413 00:23:27,916 --> 00:23:29,793 Damn! 414 00:23:29,876 --> 00:23:33,214 They probably got us building warheads or some shit all day. 415 00:23:33,297 --> 00:23:36,132 You really think they'll have felons making weapons? 416 00:23:36,217 --> 00:23:37,509 I don't know. 417 00:23:37,593 --> 00:23:40,637 I heard the new guys are military contractors. 418 00:23:40,721 --> 00:23:43,224 - Mmm. - I'm sure they up to some evil. 419 00:23:43,307 --> 00:23:46,810 Have us making napalm or... 420 00:23:47,769 --> 00:23:50,519 - weaponizing smallpox. - Mmm-hmm. 421 00:23:50,527 --> 00:23:51,815 Well, whatever it is, 422 00:23:51,898 --> 00:23:55,110 we gonna be leaving up here with fish gills and extra fingers. 423 00:23:55,193 --> 00:23:57,153 That's not how mutation works. 424 00:23:57,238 --> 00:23:58,699 Oh, really? How's it work? 425 00:23:58,701 --> 00:24:02,033 Our babies would the ones born with the fish gills and extra fingers. 426 00:24:02,117 --> 00:24:05,412 What we'd have is a bunch of different cancers and lesions. 427 00:24:05,496 --> 00:24:06,497 Shit like that. 428 00:24:06,580 --> 00:24:10,376 Y'all so worried, don't take the test. It gives me a better chance. 429 00:24:11,585 --> 00:24:13,837 It still make 89 cents more than the warehouse. 430 00:24:14,505 --> 00:24:17,424 I got my eye on that $16 fan in commissary. 431 00:24:17,508 --> 00:24:21,052 Or you can just use your extra finger hand that you gonna have. 432 00:24:21,136 --> 00:24:24,371 All right, ladies. You may begin. 433 00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:32,939 What the fuck? "True or false? 434 00:24:33,023 --> 00:24:35,066 Ideas are more important than real things." 435 00:24:35,150 --> 00:24:38,285 Shh! We are not supposed to discuss the questions. 436 00:24:38,945 --> 00:24:40,614 Check out question three. 437 00:24:40,697 --> 00:24:44,034 "Agree or disagree? Most people are brave." 438 00:24:44,117 --> 00:24:45,827 Now, my thoughts on bravery 439 00:24:45,911 --> 00:24:49,247 are supposed to tell them I'm a good employee, how? 440 00:24:52,751 --> 00:24:54,628 So easy. 441 00:24:57,464 --> 00:24:59,777 All right. Okay. 442 00:24:59,779 --> 00:25:03,683 "I can feel overcome with wonder in nature." 443 00:25:04,930 --> 00:25:08,480 Well, I can feel that way, but I shouldn't say that, right? 444 00:25:08,597 --> 00:25:11,353 I mean, no one wants a tree hugger working for them. 445 00:25:12,896 --> 00:25:15,857 Unless, they're one of those eco companies 446 00:25:15,941 --> 00:25:19,235 that makes, like, bamboo forks. 447 00:25:19,861 --> 00:25:20,904 What have you guys heard? 448 00:25:20,987 --> 00:25:23,407 - Shh! - Quiet, ladies! 449 00:25:27,369 --> 00:25:30,456 Let's make a deal that if one of us gets it and the other one doesn't, 450 00:25:30,539 --> 00:25:31,998 then we don't take it. 451 00:25:32,082 --> 00:25:34,376 Like you even need to say anything. 452 00:25:40,215 --> 00:25:44,052 "I spend most of my time trying to understand things. 453 00:25:46,763 --> 00:25:50,809 I spend most of my time... 454 00:25:51,935 --> 00:25:55,897 trying... to understand things." 455 00:25:55,981 --> 00:25:56,982 What are they getting at? 456 00:25:57,065 --> 00:25:58,400 Will you shut up? I'm trying to concentrate. 457 00:25:59,485 --> 00:26:03,113 "I believe people are basically moral." 458 00:26:04,990 --> 00:26:05,991 Agree. 459 00:26:07,283 --> 00:26:10,496 - You're supposed to answer honest. - I do believe that. 460 00:26:11,287 --> 00:26:13,289 _ 461 00:26:15,459 --> 00:26:17,461 You gotta think deeper than that. 462 00:26:18,211 --> 00:26:20,213 People wanna be good. 463 00:26:20,296 --> 00:26:22,633 - They really do, deep down. - Mmm. 464 00:26:23,925 --> 00:26:25,051 But they just fuck up. 465 00:26:29,014 --> 00:26:31,392 I thought they were gonna, like, be interviewing us, 466 00:26:31,475 --> 00:26:33,435 not giving us some weird-ass brain test. 467 00:26:33,519 --> 00:26:35,145 Quiet, Gonzales! 468 00:26:35,228 --> 00:26:37,230 _ 469 00:26:42,403 --> 00:26:46,281 Would you say that I "keep in the background"? 470 00:26:47,157 --> 00:26:50,368 I'm having a hard enough time figuring out these questions for myself. 471 00:26:50,452 --> 00:26:52,954 What, I gotta answer yours now, too? Please! 472 00:26:53,038 --> 00:26:54,330 Sorry. 473 00:26:57,250 --> 00:27:01,254 I'm gonna go with yes, I keep in the background. 474 00:27:01,337 --> 00:27:05,175 My mother always said that silence can be the loudest thing. 475 00:27:05,258 --> 00:27:07,761 But she never shut the fuck up. 476 00:27:07,844 --> 00:27:09,763 Oh, Lordy, this is hard. 477 00:27:09,846 --> 00:27:12,433 Quiet down, ladies. 478 00:27:14,851 --> 00:27:17,646 Hey! What'd you put for 15? 479 00:27:17,729 --> 00:27:20,566 I'm blowing it. 480 00:27:21,567 --> 00:27:23,944 See. Now I'm getting all itchy. 481 00:27:24,027 --> 00:27:26,029 - Shh! - You, shh! 482 00:27:27,155 --> 00:27:30,408 Oh, my God. Oh, my God! Who can concentrate in here? 483 00:27:30,492 --> 00:27:32,828 Gonzales, you're done. 484 00:27:32,911 --> 00:27:35,497 - I didn't finish yet. - Yes, you're done. 485 00:27:35,581 --> 00:27:37,916 Hand over your test and your pencil. 486 00:27:40,752 --> 00:27:41,920 _ 487 00:27:42,713 --> 00:27:44,214 _ 488 00:27:44,965 --> 00:27:47,801 I don't speak Spanish, so I'm going to assume you said, 489 00:27:47,884 --> 00:27:49,294 "Have a nice day." 490 00:27:56,602 --> 00:27:58,895 Ooh. 491 00:27:59,896 --> 00:28:01,314 Fuck you. 492 00:28:01,397 --> 00:28:03,734 Another one bites the dust. 493 00:28:06,653 --> 00:28:10,198 - Wanna help me spend some money? - What happened to saving for a car? 494 00:28:10,281 --> 00:28:14,285 I think I need to invest in some more emotional clothing right now, you know, 495 00:28:14,369 --> 00:28:17,122 and worry about the car later. I need to dress for my authentic self. 496 00:28:17,205 --> 00:28:18,540 - Mmm-hmm. - And for Ian. 497 00:28:18,624 --> 00:28:19,708 - Yo, what the fuck? - Yes. 498 00:28:19,791 --> 00:28:21,209 You see me now? 499 00:28:22,168 --> 00:28:23,795 Because I see me. 500 00:28:23,879 --> 00:28:25,338 It's Jason, I think he's fucked up. 501 00:28:25,421 --> 00:28:26,757 I'm like a self-mirror. 502 00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:28,216 _ 503 00:28:28,299 --> 00:28:30,343 I am silver and shimmery! 504 00:28:30,426 --> 00:28:32,220 Jason, you fucking idiot! 505 00:28:32,303 --> 00:28:35,891 I'm failing Math and Western Civ. 506 00:28:35,974 --> 00:28:37,726 Everybody's failing Western Civ! 507 00:28:37,809 --> 00:28:39,144 How did he even get up there? 508 00:28:39,227 --> 00:28:40,395 Fuck it. 509 00:28:40,479 --> 00:28:41,605 Oh, no. 510 00:28:51,669 --> 00:28:55,661 You should plant some kale. I hear it's become very popular. 511 00:28:55,744 --> 00:28:58,163 The stuff that stays all day on a deli platter? 512 00:28:58,246 --> 00:29:00,624 That's a garnish, not something to eat. 513 00:29:00,707 --> 00:29:03,334 It's supposed be loaded with vitamins. 514 00:29:04,904 --> 00:29:05,946 Hey, you were right. 515 00:29:07,548 --> 00:29:08,965 Gorgeous day. 516 00:29:09,966 --> 00:29:11,843 Hey there, Jones, you ol' string bean. 517 00:29:11,927 --> 00:29:13,428 Hello. 518 00:29:13,512 --> 00:29:15,055 Speaking of string beans, 519 00:29:15,138 --> 00:29:18,391 Jones has some requests for the vegetable garden. 520 00:29:18,474 --> 00:29:21,645 Now don't go getting any funny ideas with me now, you old burner. 521 00:29:21,728 --> 00:29:24,690 I do know what a wacky tabacky leaf looks like. 522 00:29:26,107 --> 00:29:29,653 - Excuse me, I have somewhere nicer to be. - Ohhh... 523 00:29:29,736 --> 00:29:32,781 Oh, no. Stay. Have a little more fun with us. 524 00:29:33,990 --> 00:29:36,615 - Sit. - Such fun. 525 00:29:37,243 --> 00:29:40,121 Yeah, I was at a hippie music festival once. 526 00:29:40,205 --> 00:29:43,166 Must have been, like, 10 or so. 527 00:29:43,249 --> 00:29:46,419 Mother was away and my older brother was in charge of me. 528 00:29:46,502 --> 00:29:48,880 His buddies and I, we hitchhiked there. 529 00:29:48,964 --> 00:29:50,882 Healy, such a rebel. 530 00:29:50,966 --> 00:29:54,052 Oh, no, no, no. I was scared out of my mind. 531 00:29:54,135 --> 00:29:57,848 For two days, I was living with a golf ball stuck in my throat, 532 00:29:57,931 --> 00:29:59,515 choking back the tears. 533 00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:01,142 It was absolute chaos. 534 00:30:01,482 --> 00:30:03,478 Pouring rain, nobody seemed to care. 535 00:30:03,562 --> 00:30:05,396 And people just kept wandering around. 536 00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:09,192 They were dancing completely naked, filthy with the mud. 537 00:30:09,275 --> 00:30:10,485 It was, like, unbelievable. 538 00:30:10,569 --> 00:30:12,153 Were you at Woodstock? 539 00:30:12,237 --> 00:30:14,114 Somewhere upstate. 540 00:30:14,197 --> 00:30:16,825 Plus, somebody stole my Johnny Unitas football. 541 00:30:16,908 --> 00:30:19,995 I never wanted to be home so badly. 542 00:30:20,078 --> 00:30:21,872 You guys understand that, right? 543 00:30:21,955 --> 00:30:24,791 Sounds like it was very traumatizing for you. 544 00:30:26,459 --> 00:30:27,878 I don't know. 545 00:30:30,088 --> 00:30:32,507 My brother, he's an insurance appraiser now. 546 00:30:34,342 --> 00:30:36,803 Mostly boats and other watercraft. 547 00:30:37,846 --> 00:30:39,305 This is nice. 548 00:30:40,849 --> 00:30:42,517 Fresh air. 549 00:30:43,518 --> 00:30:44,728 Good company. 550 00:30:51,151 --> 00:30:54,487 So, she wants this. Does that look edible to you? 551 00:30:54,570 --> 00:30:57,783 - How you think you did? - Who can tell? 552 00:30:57,866 --> 00:31:00,243 Come on. We just got started! 553 00:31:00,326 --> 00:31:03,038 Man, I pluck my chin hairs. Ain't that upkeep enough? 554 00:31:03,121 --> 00:31:06,291 - I got to run, too? - Mind, body. 555 00:31:08,001 --> 00:31:09,585 You know, I'm just now realizing, 556 00:31:09,670 --> 00:31:12,798 I'm pretty damn happy with both those departments. 557 00:31:12,881 --> 00:31:14,132 I'm walking! 558 00:31:14,215 --> 00:31:15,216 - Come on. - Uh-uh. 559 00:31:15,300 --> 00:31:18,094 To the green house, then we can slow it down. 560 00:31:18,178 --> 00:31:19,220 Let's go! 561 00:31:19,304 --> 00:31:22,891 - Man, if I sweat my hair out... - Come on! Let's go! 562 00:31:22,974 --> 00:31:24,309 Titties flappin' everywhere! 563 00:31:24,392 --> 00:31:25,977 Please tell me that's a margarita. 564 00:31:26,061 --> 00:31:28,021 Yeah. Lemonade. 565 00:31:28,104 --> 00:31:32,192 Made from the finest powdered ingredients the commissary has to offer. 566 00:31:32,275 --> 00:31:33,318 Mmm. 567 00:31:33,401 --> 00:31:36,279 - With the pink sweetener, not the blue. - Nice. 568 00:31:36,947 --> 00:31:38,448 Mmm. 569 00:31:38,531 --> 00:31:39,574 Mmm. 570 00:31:39,658 --> 00:31:40,659 Thank you. 571 00:31:40,742 --> 00:31:44,075 God, I've been laying manure for the last four hours. 572 00:31:44,788 --> 00:31:47,791 The latest rumor is that our new corporate overlords 573 00:31:47,874 --> 00:31:50,711 are gonna be testing genetically modified wheat out here. 574 00:31:51,461 --> 00:31:55,090 See? Who says prison doesn't prepare you for the outside world? 575 00:31:56,299 --> 00:31:58,426 You know, when we get out of here... 576 00:31:58,509 --> 00:32:01,429 I could find electrical work, you could landscape. 577 00:32:01,512 --> 00:32:04,057 We could drive a pickup truck. 578 00:32:04,140 --> 00:32:06,184 We would be living lesbian stereotypes. 579 00:32:06,267 --> 00:32:10,480 We could stop shaving and start camping. 580 00:32:10,563 --> 00:32:14,776 We could go to... golf tournaments. 581 00:32:15,526 --> 00:32:18,113 No? No. No golf. 582 00:32:18,196 --> 00:32:19,572 Who's that girl? 583 00:32:19,655 --> 00:32:22,868 - She's not in orange, so she's not new. - Hmm. 584 00:32:22,951 --> 00:32:25,996 I've never seen her before, and then today twice in one day. 585 00:32:26,079 --> 00:32:27,497 It's a prison phenomenon. 586 00:32:27,580 --> 00:32:29,165 It's like when you think you've seen everyone, 587 00:32:29,249 --> 00:32:32,210 you suddenly notice that there's a girl 588 00:32:32,293 --> 00:32:36,047 with a port wine birthmark on her face 589 00:32:36,131 --> 00:32:40,385 that has been working with you in electrical since you got here 590 00:32:40,468 --> 00:32:42,095 and you'd never seen her before. 591 00:32:42,178 --> 00:32:45,223 No, that phenomenon is called self-absorbed. 592 00:32:49,185 --> 00:32:51,229 Seriously, something is up with her. 593 00:32:51,312 --> 00:32:54,775 She's super sketchy, and clearly her Disney Princess is Jasmine. 594 00:32:58,153 --> 00:33:01,656 Look! Look! She just looked at me. 595 00:33:04,659 --> 00:33:08,496 Twice in one day out of nowhere, Piper. It's weird. 596 00:33:08,579 --> 00:33:10,498 And he knows that I'm in here. 597 00:33:13,334 --> 00:33:17,798 So... So, you're saying that Kubra found a girl who was headed to prison, 598 00:33:17,881 --> 00:33:22,897 or better yet, convinced someone to get arrested, 599 00:33:22,975 --> 00:33:25,931 charged, sent to prison, 600 00:33:26,014 --> 00:33:31,436 and then manipulated it so that they would be assigned here, 601 00:33:31,519 --> 00:33:34,856 specifically so they could get you? 602 00:33:34,940 --> 00:33:38,401 I'm telling you, he's twisted. 603 00:33:38,484 --> 00:33:40,278 He plays the long game. 604 00:33:40,361 --> 00:33:43,031 He's too smart to send in a girl who looks like she's from Cyprus. 605 00:33:43,114 --> 00:33:48,119 That's a... rookie move. You're a paranoid racist. 606 00:33:48,203 --> 00:33:49,537 She probably just thinks you're cute. 607 00:33:50,705 --> 00:33:56,252 But if she tries to hit on you... I will smack a bitch down. 608 00:33:57,963 --> 00:33:59,255 Hmm. 609 00:34:06,596 --> 00:34:11,017 I've heard girls talking about you, saying you can offer help. 610 00:34:12,522 --> 00:34:15,077 I'm in a pretty dark place. 611 00:34:16,731 --> 00:34:18,441 Is this like a guru situation? 612 00:34:21,652 --> 00:34:24,906 I went to see Amma once. The hugging saint. 613 00:34:24,990 --> 00:34:30,161 We waited for three hours to get hugged, but then Seamus said he felt sick. 614 00:34:30,245 --> 00:34:33,999 He said it was from the sun and the chia pudding, 615 00:34:34,082 --> 00:34:37,335 but I'm pretty sure he just got impatient. 616 00:34:38,086 --> 00:34:39,921 I could've used that hug. 617 00:34:40,913 --> 00:34:43,424 I don't know why I didn't stay. 618 00:34:44,926 --> 00:34:46,386 Yes, I do. 619 00:34:46,469 --> 00:34:49,055 I didn't stay so Seamus and Meadow 620 00:34:49,139 --> 00:34:51,975 could go back to the lake and have sex and do slackline. 621 00:34:52,058 --> 00:34:53,852 So, I missed my hug. 622 00:34:55,896 --> 00:34:59,065 Do those sound like good friends to you? I mean... 623 00:35:00,066 --> 00:35:03,444 why don't I have people in my life who really care about me? 624 00:35:08,408 --> 00:35:12,662 Maybe it's me. I've been lazy. 625 00:35:13,329 --> 00:35:16,791 But... there are connections to be made in here, right? 626 00:35:16,875 --> 00:35:20,836 I mean, I see people who care about each other all over this place. 627 00:35:20,921 --> 00:35:23,756 And they were all new once. 628 00:35:24,799 --> 00:35:26,676 Yeah. 629 00:35:26,759 --> 00:35:28,303 That makes sense. 630 00:35:32,682 --> 00:35:33,934 Oh. 631 00:35:35,643 --> 00:35:38,854 I get it. This is your thing. 632 00:35:38,939 --> 00:35:43,902 You give people this meaningful stare, and people project their feelings onto it. 633 00:35:48,198 --> 00:35:49,824 It's really soothing. 634 00:35:52,535 --> 00:35:54,495 I feel better. 635 00:35:55,914 --> 00:35:57,207 Thank you. 636 00:36:04,923 --> 00:36:06,216 Inmates, no touching. 637 00:36:18,061 --> 00:36:19,854 Oh, thanks. Thanks for helping. 638 00:36:20,605 --> 00:36:23,066 Yeah. You steal from someone who's giving it away for free. 639 00:36:23,149 --> 00:36:25,693 That's, like... double negative karma. 640 00:36:25,776 --> 00:36:28,279 Yeah, it is pretty fucked up. 641 00:36:29,405 --> 00:36:32,033 You know this isn't gonna be ready for, like, another week or so, right? 642 00:36:32,117 --> 00:36:34,452 - A week? - Yeah. 643 00:36:34,535 --> 00:36:37,205 _ 644 00:36:37,288 --> 00:36:38,914 Fuck Rome. 645 00:36:38,999 --> 00:36:41,001 _ 646 00:36:42,752 --> 00:36:44,212 You got any suspects? 647 00:36:44,295 --> 00:36:46,131 You know, it could be Papadakis. 648 00:36:46,214 --> 00:36:48,841 I know a couple of girls got sick off her shit. 649 00:36:48,924 --> 00:36:51,427 Yo, maybe she's trying to steal my secret ingredient! 650 00:36:51,511 --> 00:36:52,762 - Cinnamon! - Watermelon! 651 00:36:52,845 --> 00:36:56,766 No, and no! All right? Fuck you. I ain't telling you. 652 00:36:57,433 --> 00:36:59,519 I think that squirrel's dead. 653 00:36:59,602 --> 00:37:02,022 He's just been laying up in that branch this whole time. 654 00:37:07,527 --> 00:37:09,154 Yo, don't do that, man. 655 00:37:09,237 --> 00:37:12,657 He gonna come down and come for your face and claw your eyes out and shit. 656 00:37:12,740 --> 00:37:15,326 My cousin had a ferret who did that. 657 00:37:18,204 --> 00:37:22,375 - That squirrel is not giving one shit. - Maybe he's retarded. 658 00:37:24,210 --> 00:37:25,586 Maybe he's drunk. 659 00:37:25,670 --> 00:37:27,880 What, you saying that little thing is the hooch bandit? 660 00:37:28,923 --> 00:37:30,216 Come on, y'all. 661 00:37:30,300 --> 00:37:33,553 The bags are heavy, they were buried deep. I don't think so. 662 00:37:33,636 --> 00:37:35,013 He's not that little. 663 00:37:35,096 --> 00:37:38,349 Maybe his daddy fucked a raccoon and he's one of those hybrid species. 664 00:37:39,809 --> 00:37:40,893 A squacoon. 665 00:37:40,976 --> 00:37:43,979 - His tail is kind of stripey-like. - Thank you. 666 00:37:44,064 --> 00:37:46,441 Squirrels and raccoons can't mate. 667 00:37:46,524 --> 00:37:48,484 All right? They're, like, two totally different species. 668 00:37:50,028 --> 00:37:52,280 Whatever he is, I think he's your problem. 669 00:37:52,795 --> 00:37:54,407 You gotta defend your stash. 670 00:37:54,490 --> 00:37:56,826 On the farm, my daddy used pee and cayenne pepper 671 00:37:56,909 --> 00:37:58,244 to keep the skunks away. 672 00:38:02,248 --> 00:38:04,834 I suppose I should start out by apologizing, 673 00:38:04,917 --> 00:38:09,130 which I've had to do a lot through the years for George. 674 00:38:09,214 --> 00:38:12,133 Although, this one really takes the cake. 675 00:38:13,384 --> 00:38:15,303 I suppose I shouldn't mention cake because you probably... 676 00:38:15,386 --> 00:38:16,971 You can have it. 677 00:38:17,055 --> 00:38:18,098 "It"? 678 00:38:19,222 --> 00:38:20,223 The baby? 679 00:38:20,225 --> 00:38:23,394 I don't know if it's a boy or a girl. It doesn't matter. 680 00:38:23,478 --> 00:38:24,895 Either way, I don't want it. 681 00:38:24,979 --> 00:38:28,858 My mom says you have a real nice house, so he'll have his own room and stuff. 682 00:38:28,941 --> 00:38:30,318 Yes, that's true. 683 00:38:33,654 --> 00:38:34,864 You seem upset. 684 00:38:35,698 --> 00:38:37,408 I'm pregnant in prison, lady. 685 00:38:37,492 --> 00:38:39,952 Were you really expecting for me to be all happy and glowy? 686 00:38:40,035 --> 00:38:45,083 No, no. I just... I thought... I thought we would talk a little bit more. 687 00:38:45,166 --> 00:38:48,961 What is there to say? I don't feel anything for this baby. 688 00:38:49,044 --> 00:38:52,382 It's hard to have love for something that's camping out on your bladder. 689 00:38:52,465 --> 00:38:55,510 I remember watching my ass turn into my Aunt Louise's. 690 00:38:55,593 --> 00:38:57,803 It was not a good look. 691 00:38:57,887 --> 00:39:01,599 But, um, I also remember having these really vivid dreams. 692 00:39:01,682 --> 00:39:06,271 None of this is what dreams are made of. It was just a mistake. 693 00:39:06,354 --> 00:39:09,982 So, if you're trying to prove something by taking that on, God bless. 694 00:39:10,483 --> 00:39:12,985 I am trying to prove something. 695 00:39:14,237 --> 00:39:17,740 I know that's crazy, but I... He was always... 696 00:39:19,742 --> 00:39:23,663 Look, the nurse, when I was checking out of the hospital, 697 00:39:23,746 --> 00:39:25,915 handed me George all wrapped up in a blanket and said, 698 00:39:25,998 --> 00:39:29,419 "You have a difficult child. Good luck." And she was right. 699 00:39:29,502 --> 00:39:31,254 I should've done more, you know. 700 00:39:31,337 --> 00:39:33,339 I was young and I was in a bad marriage, 701 00:39:33,423 --> 00:39:36,592 and you just realize stuff as time goes on. 702 00:39:36,676 --> 00:39:37,802 So... 703 00:39:39,804 --> 00:39:42,973 Look, he's my kid. 704 00:39:43,057 --> 00:39:48,438 He's my responsibility even now. And I love him, and I will love that baby. 705 00:39:48,521 --> 00:39:52,233 And I'm gonna do this right, Miss Diaz. I am committed. 706 00:39:52,858 --> 00:39:55,903 All yours. Are we done here? 707 00:39:55,986 --> 00:39:57,988 Oh, my God, you... You don't even know me. 708 00:39:58,072 --> 00:39:59,157 I mean, I... 709 00:39:59,240 --> 00:40:00,825 I could be some kind of ax murderer 710 00:40:00,908 --> 00:40:04,787 who wants to make coats out of the skins of babies or something. 711 00:40:04,870 --> 00:40:07,915 I watch a lot of true crime TV. 712 00:40:07,998 --> 00:40:12,753 You want the baby, I said yes. Why do you keep on pushing me? 713 00:40:12,837 --> 00:40:15,130 Because I'm afraid you'll change your mind. 714 00:40:15,215 --> 00:40:17,800 I'm afraid that you'll snap out of this depression 715 00:40:17,883 --> 00:40:19,594 and wonder, "What was I thinking?" 716 00:40:19,677 --> 00:40:23,100 You got a paper? I'll sign it over right now. 717 00:40:23,681 --> 00:40:25,308 You'll get your do-over baby, 718 00:40:25,391 --> 00:40:29,687 and I'll have a chance to start a new life where I just gotta worry about me. 719 00:40:30,605 --> 00:40:33,023 You can't sign the paper until you've had the baby. 720 00:40:33,774 --> 00:40:35,860 Oh, I get it now. 721 00:40:37,528 --> 00:40:40,365 Is there somebody in here that you could talk to? 722 00:40:40,448 --> 00:40:42,950 You know, a professional or something? 723 00:40:44,410 --> 00:40:46,204 My counselor is an old white man 724 00:40:46,287 --> 00:40:49,164 who tries to connect by saying "Hola" in the hallway. 725 00:40:51,041 --> 00:40:54,629 And lucky for you, my mom is all up for the deal. 726 00:40:54,712 --> 00:40:58,299 I talk to her sometimes, mmm, when she's not being a total bitch. 727 00:41:00,718 --> 00:41:01,969 Go team. 728 00:41:03,263 --> 00:41:06,766 Well, I'm gonna come back and visit you again really soon, 729 00:41:06,849 --> 00:41:08,100 and we'll talk some more. 730 00:41:16,108 --> 00:41:18,152 It was very nice to meet you, Dayanara. 731 00:41:23,073 --> 00:41:24,325 Bye. 732 00:41:28,538 --> 00:41:29,747 Check it out. 733 00:41:30,706 --> 00:41:34,335 Oh, yeah! Mama's got a brand new bag! 734 00:41:36,962 --> 00:41:38,548 Uh... 735 00:41:38,631 --> 00:41:40,341 'Course fucking Chapman got it. 736 00:41:40,425 --> 00:41:42,760 Oh! Fuck, yeah! That's me! 737 00:41:42,843 --> 00:41:44,512 ♪ Queen of the new job ♪ 738 00:41:46,221 --> 00:41:48,724 Yes! Ain't nobody's maid no more! 739 00:41:53,354 --> 00:41:55,273 No! Quit that. 740 00:41:55,356 --> 00:41:57,107 How do you know that job's any good anyhow? 741 00:41:57,191 --> 00:41:59,319 Besides, I thought you liked cleaning. 742 00:41:59,402 --> 00:42:01,487 No, but I failed, T! 743 00:42:01,571 --> 00:42:04,365 I should've answered the question in the reverse of how I felt. 744 00:42:04,449 --> 00:42:06,409 The opposite of me is better. 745 00:42:06,492 --> 00:42:09,537 The opposite of you is... boring. 746 00:42:09,620 --> 00:42:14,375 You're obviously too... creative for that job. 747 00:42:16,419 --> 00:42:19,797 You bitches get in? Hmm? 748 00:42:20,465 --> 00:42:21,841 No. 749 00:42:21,924 --> 00:42:26,971 Oh, well, we promise not to throw our new high paying jobs in your face too much. 750 00:42:29,223 --> 00:42:32,977 So, that's just business, right? You know, some cutthroat shit. 751 00:42:34,186 --> 00:42:37,440 Oh, anyway. So you think I need a fresh, new first day do? 752 00:42:37,523 --> 00:42:41,736 Yeah! Hook it up! Look hot! Curls! 753 00:42:42,903 --> 00:42:46,491 Get me some little spirals, some curls, you know what I'm saying? Like... 754 00:42:49,619 --> 00:42:51,871 Hey, Gonzales, uh... 755 00:42:53,122 --> 00:42:56,041 Congrats. I saw you got in. 756 00:42:56,281 --> 00:42:57,448 Seriously? 757 00:42:57,881 --> 00:42:59,754 Holy shit. 758 00:42:59,837 --> 00:43:03,674 You know, I was psyching myself out the whole time. 759 00:43:03,758 --> 00:43:06,677 But I guess my smarts must've kicked in anyhow. 760 00:43:06,761 --> 00:43:08,513 So cool. How about you? 761 00:43:08,897 --> 00:43:13,476 Nah. Still stuck in the toilet, so to speak. 762 00:43:13,559 --> 00:43:17,271 - Calgon, take me away. - I'm sorry about that. 763 00:43:17,355 --> 00:43:19,064 But you know, I'm gonna tell everybody I know 764 00:43:19,148 --> 00:43:21,526 to try to pee real neat from now on, okay? 765 00:43:21,609 --> 00:43:24,445 Make your life a little easier. 766 00:43:24,529 --> 00:43:25,613 Thanks for that. 767 00:43:29,367 --> 00:43:32,703 Come on. Get out the way. Hurry up. 768 00:43:40,002 --> 00:43:42,212 Look how close our bunks are. 769 00:43:43,589 --> 00:43:45,466 Now we can share each other's clothes. 770 00:43:46,295 --> 00:43:48,135 They're announcing who got the new job assignment. 771 00:43:48,218 --> 00:43:50,054 - You wanna go see? - Yeah, okay. 772 00:43:51,597 --> 00:43:54,934 You still on the lookout for shanking belly dancers? 773 00:43:56,226 --> 00:43:58,353 To quote Philip K. Dick, 774 00:43:58,438 --> 00:44:02,066 "It's strange how paranoia can link up with reality now and then." 775 00:44:02,149 --> 00:44:06,818 You know, Kubra probably loves me since I lied for him. 776 00:44:07,988 --> 00:44:10,795 Maybe I'm his gal on the inside. 777 00:44:11,241 --> 00:44:14,328 - Ha-ha. - You know what I would use for my shank? 778 00:44:15,955 --> 00:44:17,998 - Your very own toothbrush. - Fuck off. 779 00:44:21,669 --> 00:44:24,004 Seriously, did he reach out to you after the trial? 780 00:44:24,088 --> 00:44:27,758 No, I'm just playing. Or am I? 781 00:44:27,842 --> 00:44:31,345 Quit it, Piper. You're freaking me out. Be straight. 782 00:44:31,429 --> 00:44:34,890 Did you talk to him? You have to tell me! 783 00:44:34,974 --> 00:44:39,144 Wait, like, if you were a drug dealer, hypothetically, 784 00:44:39,228 --> 00:44:42,773 and I was a narc and you're asking me if I was a cop? 785 00:44:42,857 --> 00:44:44,358 21 Jump Street style? 786 00:44:44,442 --> 00:44:46,318 Yeah, exactly like that. 787 00:44:47,487 --> 00:44:52,241 I have not been hired to kill you, Alex. 788 00:44:53,701 --> 00:44:55,327 Or psychologically torture me? 789 00:44:55,410 --> 00:44:58,498 Well, not by Kubra's command. 790 00:44:58,581 --> 00:45:01,834 Will you stop making light of this? 791 00:45:01,917 --> 00:45:06,255 There is a very real possibility that he would send someone for me. 792 00:45:06,338 --> 00:45:08,257 Okay, you're right. No, I'm... 793 00:45:09,550 --> 00:45:11,927 I'm done. 794 00:45:12,011 --> 00:45:13,929 Unless, of course, I'm hiding a weapon in my bra. 795 00:45:14,013 --> 00:45:16,265 I think you need to check. 796 00:45:46,796 --> 00:45:50,007 Everything boils down to control with you! 797 00:45:50,090 --> 00:45:54,136 All I'm saying is if you took Howard Street, rather than Maple, 798 00:45:54,219 --> 00:45:56,221 we would save three minutes on the drive. 799 00:45:56,305 --> 00:45:58,140 It's not controlling, it's efficient. 800 00:45:58,223 --> 00:46:00,100 It's three minutes. 801 00:46:00,184 --> 00:46:03,020 And I enjoy the houses on Maple. They're quaint. 802 00:46:03,103 --> 00:46:06,273 The one with the, uh... red painted door and the tire swing? 803 00:46:06,356 --> 00:46:08,734 It makes me think maybe the world's a nice place. 804 00:46:08,818 --> 00:46:11,278 I'll take that thought over three minutes any day. 805 00:46:13,823 --> 00:46:18,368 - My hours got cut. - See, I was right. I knew it. 806 00:46:18,452 --> 00:46:20,955 Smoke and mirrors. Sorry, Ford. 807 00:46:21,038 --> 00:46:23,583 No, mine too. In half. 808 00:46:27,377 --> 00:46:29,129 Sons of bitches. 809 00:46:29,964 --> 00:46:32,717 You think this is just us? Have we been slacking? 810 00:46:32,800 --> 00:46:34,677 You let an inmate steal a van and kill another inmate with it. 811 00:46:34,760 --> 00:46:36,053 I mean, that's pretty egregious. 812 00:46:36,136 --> 00:46:39,181 Suck it, O'Neill. I was found to be not at fault for that. 813 00:46:39,264 --> 00:46:42,434 No, this is them. Corporate greed mongers. 814 00:46:42,517 --> 00:46:44,269 So, who's covering the hours we're losing? 815 00:46:44,353 --> 00:46:48,357 More mongers. They multiply like gremlins. 816 00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:50,651 You still think the world's a nice place? 817 00:46:53,153 --> 00:46:55,740 Ooh-hoo. Yeah! 818 00:46:56,616 --> 00:46:57,658 Mmm! 819 00:46:58,533 --> 00:47:01,453 Hey, what you think? Does this say swag? 820 00:47:02,788 --> 00:47:05,124 Great job not rubbing it in our faces. 821 00:47:05,207 --> 00:47:08,002 Hey, I didn't say that. Watson did. 822 00:47:08,085 --> 00:47:10,587 Yo, did you talk to your girl, Poussey? 823 00:47:10,671 --> 00:47:12,339 She didn't take the test. 824 00:47:12,422 --> 00:47:14,884 No! She too busy fighting off 825 00:47:14,967 --> 00:47:19,179 some imaginary drink-thieving raccquirrel to worry about this shit. 826 00:47:19,263 --> 00:47:22,850 She's outside, pissing in circles, making "traps"! 827 00:47:22,933 --> 00:47:25,102 You need to come clean. 828 00:47:25,185 --> 00:47:28,898 Tell her you took her shit 'fore she really get cracked. 829 00:47:28,981 --> 00:47:30,607 Are her traps humane? 830 00:47:30,691 --> 00:47:33,485 Cartoon style, with a stick and a box. 831 00:47:33,568 --> 00:47:37,782 Look, I'd rather see her running around like a fool 832 00:47:37,865 --> 00:47:40,701 - than sleeping and drinking all damn day. - Mmm-hmm. 833 00:47:40,785 --> 00:47:42,411 At least she's up and moving. 834 00:47:42,494 --> 00:47:46,540 Up and moving and giving Looney Tunes here a run for her money. 835 00:47:46,623 --> 00:47:50,585 Well, she's got a goal now. I'll tell her... eventually. 836 00:47:50,670 --> 00:47:52,587 But, uh, don't rush. 837 00:47:52,672 --> 00:47:55,966 Once you know Santa Claus isn't real, it's all downhill from there. 838 00:47:56,050 --> 00:47:57,968 Okay, what the hell Santa Claus got to do with this? 839 00:47:58,052 --> 00:48:00,095 It's good to have something to believe in. 840 00:48:00,179 --> 00:48:03,098 Giant drunky squirrels, Santa. 841 00:48:03,182 --> 00:48:07,394 It's like the tests say, "Ideas are better than reality." 842 00:48:07,477 --> 00:48:08,562 And you agreed with that? 843 00:48:08,645 --> 00:48:11,356 - Mmm-hmm. - Well, no wonder you didn't get the job. 844 00:48:11,440 --> 00:48:16,153 The reality they was talking about was working your ass off for the man. 845 00:48:18,655 --> 00:48:22,117 Your answer basically told the man to fuck off. 846 00:48:22,201 --> 00:48:23,660 No, I didn't mean that. 847 00:48:23,744 --> 00:48:27,289 Wait, so, do you think I should talk to somebody and say... 848 00:48:27,372 --> 00:48:28,791 You know, explain myself? 849 00:48:28,874 --> 00:48:31,043 See, I think that ship has sailed, my dear. 850 00:48:31,126 --> 00:48:34,588 - Mmm-hmm. - Time to go sweep up some pube hives. 851 00:48:34,671 --> 00:48:38,217 I like to think of them more like... pube nests. 852 00:48:38,300 --> 00:48:40,344 Everybody's got fucking opinions! 853 00:48:40,427 --> 00:48:43,680 Well, consolation Snickers on me later, scrub! 854 00:48:43,764 --> 00:48:45,099 Puff out! 855 00:48:47,559 --> 00:48:49,519 No. 856 00:48:49,603 --> 00:48:52,815 Something is missing in my life. 857 00:48:52,898 --> 00:48:57,611 No matter how much reading and gardening I do, my mind drifts. 858 00:48:58,738 --> 00:49:01,824 - I have this need. - Okay. 859 00:49:01,907 --> 00:49:04,869 An overwhelming need. A drive. 860 00:49:06,078 --> 00:49:07,329 A hunger. 861 00:49:08,705 --> 00:49:10,207 - A hunger? - Yes. 862 00:49:11,333 --> 00:49:14,086 I am missing the heat, you know? 863 00:49:14,169 --> 00:49:17,089 That flush in my face that only comes from real... 864 00:49:17,172 --> 00:49:18,215 Passion. 865 00:49:20,926 --> 00:49:23,763 Oh, yeah. I understand. 866 00:49:23,846 --> 00:49:26,515 Give me something to be consumed with, Healy. 867 00:49:27,182 --> 00:49:31,937 Sure it leaves me with blisters and burns and an aching back, but it's work, 868 00:49:32,021 --> 00:49:34,982 real work, and I yearn for it. 869 00:49:36,400 --> 00:49:39,278 Are you talking about the kitchen? 870 00:49:41,155 --> 00:49:42,782 It is a proven fact 871 00:49:42,865 --> 00:49:46,869 that people in retirement are more likely to get Alzheimer's. 872 00:49:46,952 --> 00:49:48,745 I don't want to become Jimmy, 873 00:49:48,829 --> 00:49:50,831 walking around with my underwear on my head. 874 00:49:50,915 --> 00:49:53,625 I need purpose and stimulation. 875 00:49:53,708 --> 00:49:57,797 Well, Mendoza's doing a fine job in the kitchen. 876 00:49:57,880 --> 00:50:00,132 We have no reason to replace her. 877 00:50:01,300 --> 00:50:03,427 So you'll have to... 878 00:50:03,510 --> 00:50:05,971 You'll have to look somewhere else for your... 879 00:50:08,598 --> 00:50:11,560 You'll have to find your purpose somewhere else. 880 00:50:11,643 --> 00:50:15,358 I'm sure with this new regime, there will be changes. 881 00:50:15,981 --> 00:50:18,818 Maybe you could slip this one through as well. 882 00:50:18,901 --> 00:50:21,528 Please. Comrade to comrade. 883 00:50:22,487 --> 00:50:26,783 Look... Red, this is protocol. 884 00:50:26,867 --> 00:50:29,744 You got busted for those drugs. 885 00:50:29,829 --> 00:50:32,706 There's no way Caputo's signing off on this. 886 00:50:34,249 --> 00:50:38,003 You didn't get to where you are without knowing how to work the system. 887 00:50:39,004 --> 00:50:40,589 I respect the system. 888 00:50:40,672 --> 00:50:42,757 Don't you also respect me? 889 00:50:44,885 --> 00:50:46,345 Jesus, Red. 890 00:50:48,973 --> 00:50:50,640 I thought you were different. 891 00:50:55,020 --> 00:50:57,857 I bet a bunch of those girls didn't answer the questions honestly. 892 00:50:57,940 --> 00:50:59,984 I ain't 100% sure I did. 893 00:51:01,151 --> 00:51:03,028 Yeah, it was confusing. 894 00:51:03,112 --> 00:51:07,491 I had to take a test like that one time, when I applied to be an RA. 895 00:51:07,574 --> 00:51:10,452 - What's an RA? - A resident advisor. 896 00:51:10,535 --> 00:51:12,872 Like, for my... dorm in college. 897 00:51:14,331 --> 00:51:18,210 I didn't get that one either. We must be too emotional. 898 00:51:19,128 --> 00:51:20,880 And that's bad? 899 00:51:20,963 --> 00:51:24,799 Um... I mean, it doesn't make for a good employee. 900 00:51:24,884 --> 00:51:26,718 Like, I read a horrible article this morning 901 00:51:26,801 --> 00:51:30,305 about this woman getting stoned in Iran for adultery, 902 00:51:30,389 --> 00:51:32,016 and it seriously made me so upset 903 00:51:32,099 --> 00:51:35,352 that I've folded this laundry, like, four times already. 904 00:51:35,895 --> 00:51:39,439 Emotional equals unproductive, I guess. 905 00:51:41,066 --> 00:51:43,986 - I like getting stoned. - Who doesn't? 906 00:51:45,070 --> 00:51:46,446 Yeah. 907 00:51:47,572 --> 00:51:51,868 Getting stoned. Ooh. It's so fun. 908 00:51:55,705 --> 00:51:58,125 So, um... 909 00:51:59,418 --> 00:52:00,544 Walmart. 910 00:52:01,836 --> 00:52:03,838 Uh, how about Walmart? 911 00:52:03,923 --> 00:52:07,051 It's so big. I went there once. 912 00:52:07,134 --> 00:52:11,013 I noticed that there was a lot of... cheap shit in there! 913 00:52:11,096 --> 00:52:14,808 Like, just everything you could ever want. 914 00:52:14,891 --> 00:52:17,978 Someone check the hot dogs out there. I bet they're running low. 915 00:52:18,062 --> 00:52:19,063 I just refilled them. 916 00:52:19,146 --> 00:52:21,773 Well, stay on them. That no carb trend is back. 917 00:52:21,856 --> 00:52:23,943 I'm up to my ears in buns. 918 00:52:25,527 --> 00:52:28,655 Oh. Look who decided to grace us with her presence. 919 00:52:28,738 --> 00:52:31,241 Throw an apron on, we'll talk punishment later. 920 00:52:31,325 --> 00:52:32,617 I got the job. 921 00:52:33,953 --> 00:52:37,872 It's supposed to start in a few minutes. I just wanted to come let you know. 922 00:52:38,915 --> 00:52:40,084 Come? 923 00:52:40,167 --> 00:52:41,918 How considerate of you... 924 00:52:42,002 --> 00:52:45,089 to show your front when you're turning your back on your family. 925 00:52:46,548 --> 00:52:48,592 I earned it, Gloria. You should be proud of me. 926 00:52:48,675 --> 00:52:49,884 Because of that test? 927 00:52:49,969 --> 00:52:51,678 I heard some of the questions on that test. 928 00:52:51,761 --> 00:52:52,929 It's not even about anything. 929 00:52:53,013 --> 00:52:55,557 They were obviously about something, and I got 'em right. 930 00:52:55,640 --> 00:52:58,727 Blanca took it, too, and she didn't get picked. 931 00:53:01,355 --> 00:53:05,442 Oh. So now you're better than us? What, you're chosen? 932 00:53:06,776 --> 00:53:11,031 Oh, watch out, Norma, Flaca is moving in on your territory. 933 00:53:13,533 --> 00:53:16,578 That's right, I am better. Better than all you bitches. 934 00:53:17,537 --> 00:53:20,540 Maybe I got C's in high school because my personality is too complex 935 00:53:20,624 --> 00:53:22,834 for mainstream academics. 936 00:53:22,917 --> 00:53:24,586 Some people are born for greatness. 937 00:53:25,545 --> 00:53:28,632 How nice that prison could help you realize your full potential. 938 00:53:28,715 --> 00:53:29,799 Fuck you. 939 00:53:32,386 --> 00:53:34,263 _ 940 00:53:43,139 --> 00:53:44,556 Your budget is $800,000... 941 00:53:44,648 --> 00:53:48,360 _ 942 00:53:48,443 --> 00:53:50,195 _ 943 00:53:50,279 --> 00:53:52,072 _ 944 00:53:53,782 --> 00:53:58,203 Many private islands in the Keys sell for over $10 million. 945 00:53:59,331 --> 00:54:01,541 _ 946 00:54:05,127 --> 00:54:07,046 - Marisol Gonzales? - Yes. 947 00:54:07,129 --> 00:54:08,338 Can I talk to you for a minute? 948 00:54:15,970 --> 00:54:18,723 - You're under arrest. - What are you talking about? 949 00:54:18,807 --> 00:54:19,933 _ 950 00:54:20,016 --> 00:54:21,935 Jason Anders is in critical condition. 951 00:54:22,018 --> 00:54:23,270 You better hope he lives. 952 00:54:23,353 --> 00:54:26,022 I do. He's a nice kid, but... that's not my fault. 953 00:54:26,106 --> 00:54:27,649 You sold him a controlled substance. 954 00:54:27,732 --> 00:54:31,445 I did not! I sold him a piece of paper. 955 00:54:31,528 --> 00:54:33,155 That crazy was all him. 956 00:54:33,238 --> 00:54:38,993 Listen to me, I sold him plain paper with nothing but water and print on it. 957 00:54:39,078 --> 00:54:40,204 It was all fake! 958 00:54:40,287 --> 00:54:42,038 Yeah, well, his reaction to it was very real. 959 00:54:42,122 --> 00:54:43,832 - And it's a crime regardless, so... - No. 960 00:54:43,915 --> 00:54:45,500 _ 961 00:54:45,584 --> 00:54:48,837 _ 962 00:54:48,920 --> 00:54:52,174 Ma'am, your daughter is under arrest for fraud and endangerment. 963 00:54:52,257 --> 00:54:54,301 - It's all in the warrant. - No, this is not real. 964 00:54:54,384 --> 00:54:55,427 - No, this can't be real. - Let's go, Officer. 965 00:54:55,510 --> 00:54:57,471 - I didn't do nothing! No! - Officer, let's go. 966 00:54:57,554 --> 00:54:59,973 No! No! It was paper! 967 00:55:00,056 --> 00:55:02,142 Ma'am, we can talk about it down at the precinct. 968 00:55:03,852 --> 00:55:07,356 Hey, um, I understand the new job assignments were announced and... 969 00:55:07,439 --> 00:55:08,440 Oh, yeah, yeah. 970 00:55:08,523 --> 00:55:11,193 I read over that test. Where did you come up with that? 971 00:55:11,276 --> 00:55:13,987 Oh, I just, uh, pulled that off the Internet. 972 00:55:14,070 --> 00:55:16,573 Some kind of new assessment technique? 973 00:55:16,656 --> 00:55:19,118 Um, it was, like, a... personality quiz or something. 974 00:55:19,201 --> 00:55:20,994 I don't even know. We didn't even read 'em. 975 00:55:21,077 --> 00:55:24,539 Jones just pulled 40 out of a pile randomly 976 00:55:24,623 --> 00:55:26,125 and those were the winners. 977 00:55:28,084 --> 00:55:30,795 That's your system? Random selection? 978 00:55:31,838 --> 00:55:35,300 My system is to make the ladies think that there is a system 979 00:55:35,384 --> 00:55:39,221 so they don't hate us for not getting the job, 980 00:55:39,304 --> 00:55:42,307 they're mad at themselves for not having what it takes. 981 00:55:42,894 --> 00:55:46,728 But you reviewed the files of the women you selected, right? 982 00:55:46,811 --> 00:55:51,065 I mean, made sure there were no risks in that job placement? 983 00:55:51,983 --> 00:55:54,403 We'll have COs on post. 984 00:55:54,972 --> 00:55:58,323 We've had a lot of success with this model. 985 00:55:58,407 --> 00:56:04,037 I have to tell you that our model for not allowing violent criminals 986 00:56:04,120 --> 00:56:07,249 to work with sharp tools or arsonists in the kitchen 987 00:56:07,332 --> 00:56:08,917 hasn't been so bad either. 988 00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:10,877 You're right. 989 00:56:10,960 --> 00:56:13,172 No, I totally get it. You're right. 990 00:56:13,255 --> 00:56:16,258 I think what we'll do is we'll send you the list, 991 00:56:16,341 --> 00:56:17,717 and then if there are any red flags, 992 00:56:17,801 --> 00:56:21,471 you can send those back to us and we'll adjust accordingly. 993 00:56:23,223 --> 00:56:26,476 Good thinking, Caputo. Thanks a lot. 994 00:56:26,560 --> 00:56:28,687 I feel really lucky you're here. 995 00:56:30,314 --> 00:56:32,774 - Great. - Great. 996 00:56:32,857 --> 00:56:33,858 Great. 997 00:56:33,942 --> 00:56:38,238 Congratulations on landing this coveted new job. 998 00:56:38,322 --> 00:56:43,535 This is an opportunity for all of you to learn a very in-demand trade. 999 00:56:43,618 --> 00:56:50,334 And we hope that you will take it as seriously as we did when selecting you. 1000 00:56:51,418 --> 00:56:54,128 Ladies, welcome to Whispers. 1001 00:57:00,677 --> 00:57:02,929 Cool. 1002 00:57:12,021 --> 00:57:13,064 You see that? 1003 00:57:17,777 --> 00:57:19,863 We making panties? 1004 00:57:36,108 --> 00:57:38,108 Synced and corrected by Chitorafa www.addic7ed.com