- (cheering) - Living my true identity
is like somebody taking
a thousand pounds off my shoulders.
RONDA: Bathing suits.
You need a sexy one for Candis.
SPENCER: Which one's Candis? Oh!
RONDA: And look how close she is. Look.
CAITLYN: Candis is a beautiful woman,
but as far as
dating... I have absolutely no idea.
_
- _ - CAITLYN: Is this back to the "real world"?
- CANDIS: Yeah, the real world. - CAITLYN: Oh, God.
Khloe hasn't been here, Kourtney hasn't been here.
Kourtney hasn't been here. Maybe them not
being around is their way of saying,
"I don't know if I really agree with this."
For most people dealing with this, there's a lot of families
that just are torn apart by it.
I don't want to tear my family apart.
- synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -
(insects buzzing and trilling)
(sighs)
Oh, God.
2:57 in the morning.
I just woke up in an absolute...
panic.
I had this...
nightmare that I was in,
a parking area,
and there were so many paparazzis around me
that,
um,
I couldn't get out.
And they're, like, taking pictures and just...
It was, like,
horrible.
Absolutely horrible.
And you know
that those pictures are going into the rags
and they're gonna write their own stupid little story,
you know?
And...
I... I don't want that.
I got a much bigger message to
get across.
(sighs)
(phone rings)
Baby doll!
It's Candis.
CAITLYN: Candis, baby. How are you doing?
CANDIS: I'm doing good. How are you doing?
CAITLYN: Well, I'm just sitting here,
seeing what they're saying about my children.
- CANDIS: Who? - CAITLYN: The world.
- CANDIS (laughing): The world! - CAITLYN: So what's up?
CANDIS: Well, I mean, I was just thinking,
you know, I talked to you about doing, like, a girls'
sleepover thing, and I just wanted to know if you
would want to come over and, like, order
- pizza or... - CAITLYN: A sleepover?
CANDIS: Something.
- Yeah, like a little sleepover. - CAITLYN: Wow.
A sleepover at Candis's.
It sounds very elementary,
but in a way,
I'm kind of just in the beginning of this whole transition.
I'm, you know, like a young little girl
going through all these things.
Having a sleepover with the girls
actually sounds like fun.
What do we do on a sleepover?
You know me, I like to get to bed early.
Do we have, like, pillow fights and all that stuff?
CANDIS: (laughs) No.
I invited a couple girls.
They might not come because it's
Trans Pride this weekend.
CAITLYN: Um, I'm just wondering
how the heck I'm ever
going to get out of here, 'cause I don't
want anybody following me, certainly to your house.
But I'm gonna give it a shot.
CANDIS: Okay, cool.
CAITLYN: Till then, babe.
- CANDIS: Till then. - CAITLYN: Okay, bye.
Bye.
- CAITLYN: Court! - COURTNEY: Yeah?
- CAITLYN: Courtney! - COURTNEY: I'm coming.
Uh-oh.
CAITLYN: Is it too big or what,
- the hair? - COURTNEY: It's never too big.
It's never too big.
That's not a possibility, really.
CAITLYN: No?
Can't get it too big?
COURTNEY: No.
CAITLYN: Oh, God. My life.
- COURTNEY: What's going on? - CAITLYN: Well, Kim calls and
says that she wants to talk.
She thinks I didn't say good things about Kris,
and on and on and on. I'm just, I'm like,
God.
COURTNEY: It's one of those things you have to deal with,
'cause it's the kids.
It's not avoidable, even though it's not easy.
CAITLYN: You know, it's like you just can't please everybody.
I thought the Vanity Fair article was so fair, especially
- on Kris's part. - COURTNEY: Yeah.
CAITLYN: I don't know, it's like they...
it's like I can't do anything right.
- They're always pissed off at me. - COURTNEY: No, I mean, it's hard to
- please everyone. - CAITLYN: It'll be interesting
- to see what she has to say. - COURTNEY: Isn't it nice that
they're all fighting over you and not...
CAITLYN: They're all fighting over me.
Okay, I'll think of it that way. They're all fighting over me.
- COURTNEY: They're all fighting over you, so... - CAITLYN: Yeah, okay, all right.
KIM: Hey, hey, hey.
CAITLYN: Uh-oh,
it's trouble in town.
How are you doing? I can get you a water.
- Would you like a water? - KIM: Oh, no, I brought one.
Thank you.
- CAITLYN: You sure? - KIM: Yes.
CAITLYN: So...
- KIM: Oh, I'm just so exhausted. - CAITLYN: Am I in trouble?
KIM: Are you? Oh, yes,
you're in trouble.
CAITLYN: I'm in trouble? How could I be in trouble?
Sweet, adorable, little thing like me?
KIM: You still have a little Bruce in you.
I thought Caitlyn would be a little
- kinder. - CAITLYN: Really?
Kinder, sweeter, gentler.
KIM: Where do you want to go? Sit here?
CAITLYN: I hear that...
certain family members
are upset with the Vanity Fair article.
Khloe wrote me a very...
nasty,
um, text message.
She felt like I said bad things about Kris.
You know, you can't please everybody,
and obviously there's some people in my family that I didn't
please,
so it's time to listen to them,
see what they have to say,
and hopefully defend myself.
Where do we start?
KIM: Um, let's start with Khloe.
I know that she's really harsh
- when she communicates with you. - CAITLYN: Wow.
You want to read her texts?
KIM: She sent them to me.
Um,
- and that's how Khloe talks to all of us. - CAITLYN: Right.
KIM: So it's not just you.
Khloe sees my mom upset,
and so she gets defensive.
CAITLYN: And doesn't know anything about my side of the story.
KIM: But that's what kids do. She is gonna get defensive.
CAITLYN: The Vanity Fair article was very interesting
for me to do, because it was the first time I ever really
had the opportunity to be absolutely truthful with a reporter
about every aspect of my life.
KIM: You know, I read the Vanity Fair as well,
and I think that
there are some things that you said
that you might not realize are hurtful.
- CAITLYN: Go. - KIM: You said
Kendall and Kylie
were a distraction.
And so when they read that,
they're gonna think...
I don't know if they'll quite understand that.
- CAITLYN: You know how the print word is, yeah. - KIM: Yeah.
Then it said, "Had Kris been accepting
to who I am,
we still would be together."
And that's the most unfair thing in the world to say.
CAITLYN: I don't... see, I don't look at it that way.
- I don't look at it that way. - KIM: You don't look at it that way,
- but my mom does. - CAITLYN: Okay. Okay.
It was an honest article,
and sometimes when you're honest,
um, you know, it can be upsetting to some people.
- KIM: But she's not... - CAITLYN: She was fine with it.
KIM: You are a woman now. She is not a lesbian.
- She does not want to be with a woman. - I'm not saying
- That's not fair. - I would've gone this route,
I'm not saying I would've gone this route,
but as time went on,
our relationship changed drastically.
In my eyes, it's like she...
"I don't, I don't need him anymore."
- You know? "I got all the girls." - KIM: I don't think it was that.
I think, honestly...
- CAITLYN: I felt it in the way she treated me. - KIM: Yeah.
CAITLYN: She wanted me out of the house.
She was like,
- (claps) "You're out of here." - KIM: Because it wasn't meant to be.
- CAITLYN: "You're out of here." - And that, and that...
KIM: You should say, "Thank you, good riddance,
'cause now I am who I am and I'm happy."
CAITLYN: Okay, but then don't come back
and be so,
you know, emotional over the breakup.
- She wanted me out. - KIM: But you can't fault her.
That obviously means she really loved you
and cherished your 25 years together as a family.
CAITLYN: And I loved her, too.
KIM: Towards the end, it never would've worked,
and that's fine, and she's okay with that.
You both agree
that the end was bad.
You guys were in a bad place.
But if I was with someone for 25 years,
I would try to look for
the positive things and just end it on a good note.
You said, "Oh, Kris mistreated me."
It sounded like she beat the (bleep) out of you.
CAITLYN: Take it easy. Don't go...
KIM: You could've had a little bit more respect,
- but I think... - CAITLYN: Don't go... I can
see where you're trying to go here.
Don't go there.
KIM: You got the fame,
but you're losing your family.
CANDIS: Oh, my God, you have to go look in the mirror here.
How gorgeous is that?
It's hot. (Laughs)
It's a little low.
It needs a strap. Now, this is the look.
CAITLYN: We really haven't had a chance to sit down
and talk after you sent me those really tough texts.
KHLOE: We don't care if you want to transition,
but we don't think...
KHLOE: ... that that entails you
speaking negatively about my mom.
And then when you try to tell me
that I don't know what I'm talking about because I...
CAITLYN: Because you don't know.
KIM: You could've had a little bit more respect,
- but I think if you only had - CAITLYN: Don't go...
- positive things to say... - I can see where you're trying to go here.
Don't go there.
KIM: You've got the fame,
but you're losing your family.
CAITLYN: Honestly, I want nothing but
good to come out of this.
I want nothing but good to come out of my relationship
with all my kids.
KIM: You look amazing, it's your time,
but you don't have to bash us
on your way up.
CAITLYN: I tried to be as honest as I could
- in how I felt. - KIM: Yeah.
CAITLYN: Is everybody, especially Kris,
reading too much into every little
word that's out there?
I have never once ever tried to do
anything that would hurt her.
I'm so upset that everybody kind of
is taking things the wrong way, everybody's on edge.
She's feeling bad, I feel bad.
KIM: No matter what, we're a family.
And even though you and my mom aren't together anymore
and there's this full separation,
we still need to have a united front and understand each other.
CAITLYN: I get that.
- KIM: So just mend it, - CAITLYN: I get that.
- so we can all... - CAITLYN: Move on.
- KIM: ... move on and have unity. - CAITLYN: Do we start with publicly
mending it? Do you think a tweet?
KIM: I think so. I mean, I think if you publicly
acknowledged, it would, it would,
you know, help her spirits, all your kids' spirits.
- CAITLYN: I... I get that. - KIM: So I think to make everything good
- with everybody, if... if the kids... - CAITLYN: But I can't apologize.
I can't apologize unless
they come out here.
Nobody's come out.
Kourtney hasn't made a move at all.
Obviously, Khloe hasn't come close.
I feel so isolated out here.
You know, it's like all of a sudden there's this wall
that's up there.
KIM: I think that you just have to
get the family unity going again.
CAITLYN: I just want everybody to be happy.
I love, love, love all my kids.
I wish you guys were here every damn day.
(seagulls squawking)
I gotta figure out
what I should take to a slumber party.
COURTNEY (laughs): Whose slumber party are you going to?
- Ooh! - (Caitlyn laughs)
- Oh, what kind of slumber party is this? - CAITLYN: Candis.
Well, yeah, I don't know. You know who gave me that?
- COURTNEY: Who? - CAITLYN: Kris.
COURTNEY: She gave it to you or you stole it?
CAITLYN: No, uh, no. She gave it to me.
- COURTNEY: That's interesting. - CAITLYN: She gave it to me.
What about that?
COURTNEY: I think you should bring that,
but I think you should bring other options
in case you want to have, like, a lingerie dress-up.
'Cause sometimes you do that just for fun.
CAITLYN: God.
COURTNEY: So is this just you and Candis
or are there other girls coming?
CAITLYN: Well, right now I think the only one she has firm
is the two of us.
COURTNEY: Hmm.
- CAITLYN: Don't even go there. - COURTNEY: That's my dream.
CAITLYN: Are you telling me... ? Don't even
- go there. - COURTNEY: Okay, so I think we should go back
- to the white. - CAITLYN: Get your mind
- out of the gutter. - COURTNEY: We should go back to the white.
CAITLYN: What about...
COURTNEY: Ooh... oh.
I like that.
Maybe you'll go with black 'cause you're feeling a little naughty.
(Caitlyn laughs)
CAITLYN: A slumber party.
Kind of sounds like fun,
but I have no idea what goes on,
I don't know if I'll feel comfortable.
You know, there's just a lot of questions.
What happens at a slumber party?
COURTNEY: You, like, pillow fight,
- you tell ghost stories. - CAITLYN: Pillow fight!
- COURTNEY: You compare your boob sizes. - CAITLYN: Ew, God.
COURTNEY: You never know where the night's gonna go with Candis.
CAITLYN: You just never quite know.
COURTNEY: Never know who's gonna not show up.
- CAITLYN: That's true. - COURTNEY: And you leave you two alone.
(chuckles) CAITLYN: True. Oh, God.
(Caitlyn humming)
(Candis laughs)
CANDIS: You made it up the stairs.
- CAITLYN: God, I'm exhausted. - CANDIS: Come here.
- CAITLYN: Hi, baby. Here I am. - CANDIS: Hi, honey.
- Let me get that for you. - (dog barks)
That's Samson and this is Delilah.
CAITLYN: Well, nice to meet you guys.
CANDIS: You look gorge.
- CAITLYN: So do you, babe. - (Candis laughs)
- CANDIS: We're in caj. - CAITLYN: We're very caj.
Do you want some wine?
CAITLYN: Yeah, why not?
CANDIS: Yeah.
I say that we open up a little Santa Margarita.
CAITLYN: Oh!
- Love it. - CANDIS: What do you think?
Okay.
CAITLYN: Perfect.
My God, look at that picture of yourself.
CANDIS (laughing): I know, I can't help it.
CAITLYN: So who's coming over?
CANDIS: I think, you know, some girls are going to try to come.
- CAITLYN: Right. - CANDIS: If not, like...
CAITLYN: Whoever shows up. CANDIS: You know, whoever shows up,
- they show up. - CAITLYN: We got our own wine.
CANDIS: Yeah.
- CAITLYN: Absolutely. - CANDIS: We have our wine,
we have our pizza.
Well, cheers.
- CAITLYN: I know. - CANDIS: I can't believe I got you here.
CAITLYN: My God, I'm just such a free spirit.
CANDIS: I know it's hard, 'cause I'm the same way.
I like to just recluse a little bit, but I
- know how important it is... - CAITLYN: Yeah.
- CANDIS: ... to just spread your wings and take off. - CAITLYN: I know. I know.
I'm worried about somebody approaching me
and how to handle them.
- CANDIS: Really? - CAITLYN: Um... yeah.
CANDIS: Would you like to go out on a date?
- CAITLYN: Yeah. Would I? - CANDIS: Like, if somebody
walked up to you who was beautiful
and I was like, "Would you like to
go out on a date sometime?"
What would you say?
CAITLYN: You're making this...
so tough. What would I say?
CANDIS: Cait, she's discovering this new life...
with me, which is kind of crazy, you know? Like, I'm
suddenly going along this journey with her
and this is the beginning of her process.
And I'm really enjoying spending time with her
and she's open to everything, which I really love.
So if you had a dream dress to wear,
what would it be?
CAITLYN: I like elegant, flowing, um...
Color? I don't know.
CANDIS: I have a whole closet up there.
So you can start testing out your theories.
CAITLYN: My God, yeah, I know.
And actually, we're probably very close in size.
- CANDIS: Yeah. - CAITLYN: You're bigger in the ass.
CANDIS: I am... (laughs) I am bigger in the ass,
- that's for sure. - CAITLYN: Okay, let's go look.
- CANDIS: Okay, let's go look. - CAITLYN: Let's go check it
(crickets chirping)
My God, look at all this stuff.
CANDIS: I know! It's so good.
CAITLYN: Wait a second.
CANDIS: See, this is a number.
(inhales)
CAITLYN: See, that would get you in trouble right there.
CANDIS: No, this would be so good on you.
It is so flattering.
And this would be, like, elegant.
- Like, "I'm going to... " - CAITLYN: Yeah.
- You know. - Yes.
CANDIS: I want to see you in this.
Like, I really kind of do.
It would look so good on you.
Will you put it on?
And there's this version.
I have two versions, that and this is the more sheer version.
- CAITLYN: Oh, my God! - CANDIS: Yeah.
CAITLYN: What do you wear under that?
- CANDIS: Nothing. - CAITLYN: Oh, God.
CANDIS: It doesn't show.
When your, when your nipples are pressed up against it,
- it doesn't show a nipple at all. - CAITLYN: Really, it doesn't,
- they don't show any nipples? - CANDIS: No.
Yeah, 'cause there's some pink in there.
- CAITLYN: Mm-hmm. - (Candis laughs)
- I will try it on. - CANDIS: Try it on.
I'm gonna pull some outfits for you. You.
(gasps)
- You don't like it? - CAITLYN: I love it.
CANDIS: Okay, it looks really good.
- CAITLYN: Yeah. - CANDIS: It fits really good,
- right? - CAITLYN: The butt?
- Working? - CANDIS: The butt is working.
Yes. Wait, here.
- CAITLYN: Oh, my God. - CANDIS: Yeah.
(laughs)
- We'll be right back. - CAITLYN: Yeah, we'll be right
- CANDIS: Oh, I like the bra. - CAITLYN: Yeah.
- Get 'em up there! - CANDIS: Get 'em up there.
Oh, my God, you have to go look in the mirror here.
How gorgeous is that? It's hot.
(laughs) It's a little low.
It needs a strap.
CAITLYN: Yes, it needs, like, a wide strap there.
CANDIS: Well, and it shows...
- it shows a lot of... - CAITLYN: It kind of shows... yes.
CANDIS: Now, this is the look.
This is New York City. See? How good?
Yes, I love it!
- CAITLYN: I love these little slumber parties. - CANDIS: Yeah.
(crickets chirping)
- (doorbell rings) - (door opens)
- Hi, gorge. - JEN: Hi.
- CANDIS: Hi. - JEN: How are you?
- CAITLYN: I haven't seen you forever. - JEN: Forever. How are you?
- CAITLYN: I know. - JEN: Good to see you.
CAITLYN: And you brought along a friend.
JEN: I want to introduce you two.
Caitlyn, this is Kate.
- KATE: Hello. - CAITLYN: How are you doing?
Probably one of the most experienced people in this field
is Kate Bornstein. She's written books,
she's been an advocate for the last 30, 40 years.
She has seen so many transitions take place
and she is just an absolute wealth of information.
I am so excited to meet her.
KATE: You and I share timelines.
- We go like this. - CAITLYN: Oh, God, let's sit
- (laughter) - JEN: Let's get right in.
CAITLYN: Let's sit down. We need to talk.
JEN: Yes. The first time I
met Kate was at an event in Chicago.
A lot of her message is... is aimed at that population,
people who are really struggling,
and I remember what really struck me was,
there was this event in Chicago,
and then she sat down afterwards,
and there was just a long line of people, and,
like, an hour and a half later,
Kate was the last person to leave that room,
after everyone had come forth and kind of
poured out their hearts to this woman.
And there's not many people who would do that for us.
CAITLYN: The love that I've seen
and the goodness that I've seen come out of this has been...
been great.
And it's because of people like yourself,
you know, that have really struggled for years, and,
it's made a difference for everybody,
you know?
KATE: Well, you've joined the club.
Your mind must be fried.
CAITLYN: It's just, it's overwhelming to me,
so it's been a fun journey for me.
I've learned so much in the last, you know,
month, six weeks.
KATE: Have you been dealing well with the freak factor?
'Cause...
We are freaks in... to a lot of the world.
CAITLYN: Um...
I really feel like what we're really trying to do here
is kind of normalize this as much as we possibly can.
KATE: Well, part of the reason you want to
is 'cause you don't want to be a freak.
CAITLYN: Um...
I really feel like
what we're really trying to do here
is kind of normalize this as much as we possibly can.
KATE: Well, part of the reason you want to
is 'cause you don't want to be a freak.
And who does?
That's what stopped me for years and years from moving forward.
Oh, I agree.
You are gonna have that segment of the population
that's gonna say: yes, this is the biggest freak show I've ever seen in life.
Especially for me to do something like that.
- But as time... - KATE: Well, going from
hyper-guy to hyper-girl, yeah.
CAITLYN: Yeah, hyper-girl, you know?
KATE: (gasps) Wink at me one more time and you're in trouble, missy.
(everyone laughs)
CAITLYN: I'll remember that. Thanks for the warning, babe.
JEN: Cait... Cait is this community's biggest flirt.
- Just... - CAITLYN: Yeah. Yeah.
JEN: Which we love. We love it.
CAITLYN: Um,
how I present myself to the world,
okay, is important to me.
CAITLYN: You know?
So
how do you see a way to get over the freak factor?
KATE: The only way I've
gotten through it is to own it.
Owning the "freakdom"
- with heart... - CAITLYN: Right.
KATE: ... and going: yeah, I'm a freak, and I love you,
and I won't hurt you,
- and I won't be mean to you... - CAITLYN: Right.
KATE: ... and you have my word on that. So
that's how it's got to go.
I have problems with the word "ally."
Um, many people think, "I accept you,
uh, therefore I'm an ally."
No, you're not. No, you're an accepting person.
"Ally" means
you ask me what I need,
I tell you,
and you tell me
what or how much of that you can actually supply.
If I say I need help getting through
that crowd of people
who think I'm a freak,
and I need you to
be a bodyguard,
that would be an ally to me.
And ask.
Don't assume you know.
Don't assume that everybody's
big issue is gender-free bathrooms.
Uh, it's not.
And for some people it is the most pressing issue.
Ask.
That's the first step of being a good ally.
- Oh, one word of warning, okay? - CAITLYN: Okay. Go.
KATE: You're entering an adolescence.
You're going to go through
everything you went through in adolescence before.
It's gonna happen again.
This happens whenever someone takes on a new identity.
It's all about, "Oh, my God, they're looking at me.
Oh, I am... Oh, no, they're looking at me.
What am I gonna do?"
And we learn to get through adolescence.
CAITLYN: What type of suggestions would you give me
as I move forward?
KATE: When the rug gets pulled out from under you...
- CAITLYN: Yeah. - KATE: ... jump.
(Jen laughs)
CAITLYN: I thank you for your advice.
It's really an honor to meet you.
I appreciate all you've done.
KATE: I appreciate how you're using your position
- and privilege to do good. - CAITLYN: Well, keep it going,
all right?
I did, uh, that one more wink. Look out.
(laughter and clapping)
KATE: Didn't escape me, baby girl.
CAITLYN: Really? Okay. Okay, good, really.
I've found so many people that love and accept you and...
of who you really are.
They want to change society's perception
of gender identity.
And to be honest with you,
they're so normal, I can't stand it.
- CANDIS: Are you good, honey? - CAITLYN: No.
CANDIS: No? You're not good?
CAITLYN: Uh, I'm close. One second.
CANDIS: (gasps)
- That's so cute. - CAITLYN: Is that cute?
CANDIS: No, that's super cute.
CAITLYN: We had these for, uh, we had...
- _ - CAITLYN: I know, they're so...
_
- _ - _
_
(laughs)
CAITLYN: To be very honest with you,
if she would have been okay with me...
KHLOE: Okay with you transitioning and still
- being married to her? - CAITLYN: Not so much even transitioning,
just living with it...
she would just have to be okay.
- KHLOE: Mm-hmm. - CAITLYN: Instead,
I constantly had to hide myself.
I wasn't able to talk about it.
Then once I got out to Malibu
and we went our separate directions, I said: here I am,
at my age, and I got the same problems I had when I was ten years old.
KHLOE: Uh-huh.
CAITLYN: What the hell am I gonna do with this?
CANDIS: You're all changed and ready?
- CAITLYN: A beautiful day. - CANDIS: It's a beautiful day.
_
(Candis laughs)
I'll be able to sneak out and sneak in.
- CANDIS: Yes. - CAITLYN: Thank you.
That was fun.
CANDIS: Yeah, that was so much fun.
- CAITLYN: I know... - CANDIS: I'm glad that you get to...
CAITLYN: I know.
CANDIS: ... sneak away for a minute.
- CAITLYN: All right, babe. - CANDIS: All right, honey.
- I'll see you later. - CAITLYN: Till the next time.
- CANDIS: Till the next time. - CAITLYN: Look at that hot shot.
- That's the final reminder. - (Candis laughs)
- Okay. Thank you! - CANDIS: Thanks.
CAITLYN: Candis and I
have been spending a lot of time together.
I really like Candis. I admit, she's nice.
She's a beautiful lady. We have a lot of fun.
I'm just learning so much from her,
and she's really a lot of fun to be around.
SUSAN: Caitlyn!
SUSAN: How are you, honey?
CAITLYN: Oh, I'm doing fine. How about you?
- SUSAN: Good, good, good. - CAITLYN: Susan Landon...
she works for the L.A. Transgender Center,
primarily with families,
and she has been extremely supportive
during this transition.
- Let's start with family. - SUSAN: Okay.
CAITLYN: Where we're at with the family.
SUSAN: Yes.
What's your relationship with them right now?
- Are you... are you kind of... ? - CAITLYN: I really haven't
talked much to them.
- Yeah. - SUSAN: Okay.
CAITLYN: It's extraordinarily difficult with the girls.
And I've said right from the beginning:
- I don't want to hurt my kids. - SUSAN: I know.
CAITLYN: And them having a difficult time
with pretty much everything I do hurts...
- down in your soul. - SUSAN: Yeah.
CAITLYN: Um, I text Khloe all the time.
And, um,
you know, I don't get a, like, a big response from her.
- SUSAN: Right, right. - CAITLYN: Which is a shame.
Most of her issues are not
- the whole transition stuff. - SUSAN: Mm-hmm.
CAITLYN: It's more...
she didn't like the Vanity Fair article,
'cause she thought I was putting her mom down.
- SUSAN: Uh-huh. - CAITLYN: All this kind of stuff.
SUSAN: Well, you know, it's all really new,
- and there have been lots of dynamics. - CAITLYN: Mm-hmm.
SUSAN: All right? In the family, over time,
- as in every family. - CAITLYN: Right, I'm trying to do this right.
They don't... haven't... haven't had a chance to see that other side,
- you know? - SUSAN: Right, right, exactly.
CAITLYN: And that to me is frustrating, 'cause I feel
better this way than I did in the old days.
SUSAN: Of course you do!
And you're more present.
And you feel more available for the world and for everybody.
SUSAN: However,
it may take some of them
more time than,
than feels comfortable for you.
Caitlyn has a big family.
So there are gonna be lots of dynamics to deal with
and to talk through and to take time with.
You can't force
acceptance.
It just, unfortunately,
doesn't work that way,
and I think, uh, a lot of this
is extremely painful for her.
- CAITLYN: Hello. - LORENZO: Hi.
Lorenzo Benet.
- CAITLYN: Lorenzo, nice to see you. - LORENZO: We've met before.
CAITLYN: Yes, how are you?
- BOB: I'm Bob Weiner with the hospital. - Bob Weiner, hospital.
CAITLYN: Today Candis and I are going over to visit a group,
Transforming Family.
This is a support group for families whose children
are dealing with gender identity issues.
I'm just so excited, you know, to have the opportunity to talk
to these kids and see how this program gives these kids
time
and a good environment
to be able to mend their relationships with their family.
Sometimes it's good to really go see how other families
have dealt with issues like this.
Hopefully I'll be able to learn something today, so
it can help me with dealing with my kids.
- Well, hi there. - CHAZ: Hello.
- CAITLYN: Good to see you. - CHAZ: Good to see you, too.
_
In your transition...
- CHAZ: Yes. - CAITLYN: Okay?
_
CAITLYN: I know it's been a lot of hard work,
- but you've done a very good job. - CHAZ: Thank you.
CAITLYN: And I was really glad to see that.
For the longest time, I've wanted to talk to Chaz.
Uh, I met him at Dancing with the Stars
briefly and obviously I couldn't tell him my story.
You know, he came out publicly before I did,
so finally having the opportunity to spend some time with him,
uh, I think it's gonna be great.
I can learn a lot from him.
Hello.
NICK: Come on in.
CAITLYN: Well, hi, everybody. How are you doing?
OTHERS: Good.
CAITLYN: I'm Caitlyn.
This is Candis if you didn't know.
- CANDIS: Hi, everybody. - CAITLYN: My good friend.
NICK: My name is Nick, and I work at GLAAD.
And this is a group for both the kids and the parents
and the siblings and the grandparents
to come and get support.
CHAZ: Nick and I both started facilitating
- here in 2009, so... - CAITLYN: Oh, wow, okay.
CHAZ: And to see
the transition that happens,
the magic that happens, 'cause we don't know what
goes on in there,
but there is a magic that happens in there with the parents,
and we just get to see the effect that it has
on the kids in here.
And I've had the privilege of seeing kids
come in in a kind of difficult place sometimes,
because their parents are just not understanding
and not accepting, and
we get to see, through the kids,
the transformation that happens with the parents,
and suddenly the kids are, you know, doing so much better.
The families are doing better.
They're happy, they're healthy.
A different kid, you know, emerges.
AUBREY: Having that, like, base,
um, has just let me do so much more;
without my parents supporting me,
I would never be in, you know, college.
I would never be getting a degree.
I, you know, wouldn't be able to have a connection
with my siblings or my cousins
and actually be active, you know, and be
kind of political, almost.
ZOEY: I started my transition when I was nine years old,
and so I feel like
the fact that I have support from my mom
and my sister and my brother,
I feel like it's made me so much more confident
and it's helped me get better grades in school.
It's helped me stay in school still.
And I feel like, without my mom's support,
I wouldn't be here today.
Also I feel like
I'm very honored and happy to have her in my life, so yeah.
CAITLYN: Whose parents really had a difficult struggle with it?
- Right there. - SCOTT: Yeah, my mom and dad
didn't believe it at first.
They were like, "That's crazy."
And we had this jar,
and it was, if you called me the wrong pronoun,
- you gave me a dollar. - (laughter)
CAITLYN: How did that work out?
SCOTT: I made a hundred dollars.
CAITLYN: Hey! That's, uh, pretty good.
NICK: So, now we're going to allow our guests
to go talk to the parents.
- CAITLYN: Let's go talk to the parents. - CANDIS: Mm-hmm.
CAITLYN: Thank you all for sharing your stories.
CANDIS: It warms my heart, it inspires me
to see what a great start you guys have.
It's incredible.
- CAITLYN: Yeah. - NICK: All right, well, thank you so much
- for having us. - CAITLYN: Thank you for coming in.
NICK: Thank you.
CAITLYN: There are so many
good people out there
that really are dedicated
to dealing with this issue in the transgender community.
I know how these kids can feel.
I've been there.
And the love and acceptance of your family
is extraordinarily important.
Uh, I want to thank all of you for coming in,
because the parenting thing is tough.
I mean, there is a very dark side to this.
I've heard such horror stories
of families kicking their kids out of the house,
and so, protecting your children from all of that,
being a good loving parent,
um, and supportive
is extraordinarily important.
CANDIS: I'm as well-adjusted as I am because my parents,
from the very beginning,
were completely supportive.
So I applaud you guys for
being here and being so supportive.
JULIA: Yeah, I mean, I came here as a, you know,
uh, completely lost almost two years ago,
panic-driven, I guess,
and not even two years later,
seeing Elliot become Elliot
has changed how I perceive myself,
how I perceive the world
and what I think is important.
CYNDIE: As parents,
I think we,
we know our children and we know who they are.
And people ask me a lot of
"Oh, well, what if they change their mind?"
CAITLYN: Hmm.
CYNDIE: They're not going to change their mind.
The kid has been this way since he was two, you know?
They're not gonna change their mind.
SCOTT: We had, we got those questions right away.
It's like, "Are you sure?"
I was like, "Look,
I... I'm just following his lead." Right?
We... we cut off the hair, he's a happier kid, right?
We... we changed his name, he's a happier kid.
JED: If you have a transgender kid,
you are living with a unicorn,
an amazing human being,
like, to be next to someone so brave,
so cool, so close to themselves.
And the reality is, Avery has been on point
from age two apparently,
you know what I mean?
- So the reality is, it's just, it's such an honor. - OFELIA: It's so true what he's saying,
because I didn't know I was as strong as I am
until Zoey.
People tell me, "Who's your role model? Who helps you?"
She does,
because I learned from her
to move forward and do what she needs.
CAITLYN: Transitioning is a difficult, difficult thing to do.
Anybody goes through something like this, you realize that
there's a lot of adjustments in the family.
Right now,
it's a little bit strained with Khloe.
And I don't want that in my li... I want Khloe to
continue to be very close to me.
You know, I think we have, as parents,
tremendous challenges
in dealing with something like this.
Thank you so much for coming in.
I'm so glad I had an opportunity to meet all of you.
I love what you're doing.
Stevie!
STEVIE: Good to see you again.
CAITLYN: How you doing?
Khloe and I have always been, um,
very close.
Khloe is also very opinionated.
KHLOE: Thanks for calling me after I left your house.
I haven't spoke to you since then when I left in tears.
- So you obviously... - CAITLYN: You didn't call me, either.
KHLOE: Why should I? You're the one who was lying to me.
CAITLYN: I'm not lying, Khloe.
- KHLOE: You were, until we got it out of you. - CAITLYN: I just didn't tell you.
She certainly has had her issues with me,
especially the Vanity Fair article.
And so today, I'm going over there.
Gonna spend a little time with her
and see if we can kind of hash things out.
KHLOE: Oh, hey!
- CAITLYN: Hi, babe. - KHLOE: How are you?
- CAITLYN: I'm wonderful. - KHLOE: Let me see your purse.
CAITLYN: Oh, don't get jealous.
Donatella Ver...
Versace sent it.
- KHLOE: Gorgeous. - CAITLYN: It's a, uh, not on the market yet,
- but, so... - KHLOE: It's n not on the market?
- CAITLYN: Neither are the glasses. - KHLOE: You don't say "the market."
CAITLYN: Okay, not, not...
KHLOE: Like, not in stores yet.
CAITLYN: It's not in stores yet. Neither are the...
KHLOE: Yeah, you don't say "on the market."
CAITLYN: She also sent the...
KHLOE: Those are cool.
CAITLYN: Yeah.
KHLOE: I'm an aviator girl, but these are very...
You know, I could see MJ wearing these.
Like, they're very, like, chic, like Jackie O.
- CAITLYN: Yeah, yeah, exactly. - KHLOE: Who does your eyelashes?
Do you know how to do that?
CAITLYN: I can do it,
but certainly somebody else does it better.
KHLOE: I don't know how to do it.
- I don't wear fake lashes normally. - CAITLYN: Yeah.
KHLOE: Have you ever heard of eyelash extensions?
CAITLYN: Yes, I have heard of that, but I haven't done it.
KHLOE: Yeah.
We were saying that we should
take you to a place to do it.
Kendall and I were saying that.
CAITLYN: I'm game.
You got really good bottom lashes.
KHLOE: I have really good lashes.
CAITLYN: You have really good... Well, all the
all the "K" girls do.
- KHLOE: That's the Armenian. - CAITLYN: That's why I went with a "C."
KHLOE: My God. (Laughs)
What were you doing today?
CAITLYN: Khloe, you just can't even imagine
the last couple of months,
the stuff that I've learned.
So much of it is so scary.
I've met some incredible people.
- KHLOE: That's awesome. - CAITLYN: Incredible organizations,
all want to help.
I spent some time with Chaz Bono
and a whole group.
But there's such big problems.
The homelessness,
- people on the streets. - KHLOE: Aw.
- CAITLYN: Yeah. - KHLOE: That's not good.
CAITLYN: No, no, but, um,
anyway, enough of that.
We really haven't had a chance to sit down and talk
after you sent me those really kind of...
tough texts.
KHLOE: Kim said that you said they were tough,
and Kim read all of them, and then
she was like, "These really weren't that tough."
I just said, look, we
don't care what you're doing, like,
meaning, like, we don't care if you want to transition.
We want to support you and be there for you.
- CAITLYN: Right. - KHLOE: But we don't think
that that entails you
speaking negatively about my mom.
In our opinion,
you don't need to even mention our mom.
Let's focus on the actual cause here,
and let's not drag my mom through the mud.
I would think you would come from a place of more compassion,
especially when you have two young daughters
who are greatly affected by it.
And that was really my premise for the text messages,
and then when you try to tell me
that I don't know what I'm talking about...
CAITLYN: Because you don't know, you don't know.
To be very honest with you,
if she would've been okay with me...
KHLOE: Okay with you transitioning and still
- being married to her? - CAITLYN: Not so much even transitioning, just
living with it...
she would just have to be okay.
Instead,
I constantly had to hide myself.
I wasn't able to talk about it.
Then, once I got out to Malibu
and we went our separate directions, I said,
"Here I am at my age, and I got the same problems
I had when I was ten years old.
What the hell am I gonna do with this?
Am I gonna continue to hide?
I'm sick of that."
CAITLYN: Once I got out to Malibu
and we went our separate directions,
I said, "Here I am at my age,
and I got the same problems I had
when I was ten years old.
What the hell am I gonna do with this?
Am I gonna continue to hide?
I'm sick of that."
I didn't think it was, like, a hatchet job
on your mother. I have no...
- no issues with her. - KHLOE: Yeah.
Caitlyn kind of...
She's allowed to have her own feelings,
but she's very one-sided,
and I don't think that's fair.
There's so much I could say, but
it's a losing battle and I'm just over it.
At the end of the day,
some things Cait will never understand,
and I really just don't want to fight anymore.
CAITLYN: You know, we took our break,
and she was happier, I think, and I was happier.
KHLOE: Yeah, I think you guys are both way happier.
This is what should've happened.
CAITLYN: Honestly, I wish she would call,
- you know? - KHLOE: Well, tell her that.
- 'Cause I think... - CAITLYN: I have no problem.
- I'd have her out to the house. - KHLOE: I think it's very weird...
I could not imagine having a child with someone
and not having some sort of relationship with them.
I wish my mom and Caitlyn would
conversate a little bit, even for the sake of Kendall and Kylie.
I would understand if she doesn't want to see her,
'cause that might be uncomfortable for my mom,
but I do think they should be able to pick up the phone.
If something bad happens,
my mom should check on her and vice versa.
So I definitely want to say something to my mom.
CAITLYN: I don't have any issues with her.
- I had 23 great years. - KHLOE: Well, good.
CAITLYN: Okay.
Next question.
When I said
that the kids were a distraction,
you're taking it in the wrong context.
Uh, a distraction from who I am, yes.
It doesn't mean they were just,
I used them as a distraction.
It was a distraction from my soul.
KHLOE: I understand that.
They were more offended by that. Kendall was.
Kendall will never be confrontational with you. That's like...
she does not want that at all.
So instead she'll vent to me or do this, and then I feel like
I have to be the only person...
well, now Kim, thank God,
is actually saying things
because I don't like being the only person
that's, like,
saying how everybody else feels.
It makes me seem like this crazy bitch, and I'm like,
I'm only a bitch. I don't want to be the crazy and the bitch.
I want to just be one.
CAITLYN: Yeah, and I see that.
Just know that there's no...
maliciousness in my
heart and in my soul.
KHLOE: Yeah.
There's a lot of miscommunication, I think,
'cause our channels of communication have dwindled a lot.
CAITLYN: So many people in this family. (Chuckles)
KHLOE: Yeah, but you could do...
- Have you ever done group texting? - CAITLYN: Oh, God.
Group texting? You think that's the way to go?
KHLOE: I mean, if you have an important dinner,
you could just send a text one time,
and you say, "Hey, dinner."
- (Khloe beeps, whooshes) - CAITLYN: How do I do that?
KHLOE: Let me show you.
So, messages.
That little box right there.
- CAITLYN: Okay, hold on. - KHLOE: That's where you text.
Your phone's right here.
CAITLYN: In my Donatella Versace.
- KHLOE: Go to that button. - CAITLYN: Okay, button.
Wait a second, now what... who did...?
KHLOE: We have group texts going on all the time.
CAITLYN: Yeah, I know. All right, I love you.
I want my relationship with Khloe to stay very close.
I want her to know that she can call me any time.
I want to know that
it's okay if I call her.
I realize that
when you make a drastic change in life...
- KHLOE: Love you. - CAITLYN: ... everything takes time.
You're going to make mistakes,
but if you can keep the communication open,
you can pretty much get through anything.
- Did we clear anything up? - KHLOE: Mm-hmm.
We're good. CAITLYN: I am... (snapping)
- out of here. - KHLOE: Bye.
- synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -
You should come to New York.
I'm performing there for Gay Pride.
CAITLYN: Okay, guys. This is it. To New York.
- CANDIS: To an amazing trip. - (laughter)
- (cheering) - WOMAN: Ladies and gentlemen,
the courageous, the stunning
Caitlyn Jenner.
CAITLYN: Uh-oh! Who is in the house?
- This is Zeem. - MATT: Good to meet you.
ZEEM: Hi. I'm gonna tell my friends back home.
They gonna be like, "Whatever. You lying."
(laughter)
REFEREE: May the best team win!
CAITLYN: Don't let it go!
CANDIS: You're changing your life, you're changing your name.
Let's celebrate the new beginning.
- CAITLYN: Hey! - WOMAN: Oh, my God, Boy George!
(cheering)
CAITLYN: For the first time, I feel like I fit in someplace,
because of these ladies over here.
(applause)
KRIS: You're sensitive
and amazing to all these new people in your life.
You're just not so sensitive and amazing
to the family that you left behind.
CAITLYN: I try to do everything I can to be nice,
reach out.
You have to see it from my perspective.
Be an ally
when it comes to dealing with the kids.
KRIS: When you feel like you gave your whole life
to somebody, and the sum of it all was,
"You were a distraction... "
CAITLYN: Don't go there.
This is not the issue.
I was defending myself.
It was a distraction from the sense of who I was.
That doesn't mean I didn't love you or the kids.