WOMAN: Who's more attracted to men? Raise your hand.
- JENNY: Is that a hand? - CAITLYN: I... I don't know.
You would feel so much more feminine if you were with a guy,
- you know? - WOMAN 2: Wait, what?
CAITLYN: I can appreciate the male form.
You gonna date women? You gonna date men?
I don't know.
Candis and I are leaving together.
- (laughter) - But we'll see you back in L.A.
- CANDIS: Love you, girls. - ZACKARY: Bye.
CHANDI: Bye, baby. Candis and Caitlyn in the tree,
K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
- synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -
COURTNEY: All right, Johnie's coming to pick me up.
Go easy on him.
- (Caitlyn laughs) - If you know how to do that.
- Have you ever gone easy on anyone? - CAITLYN: I, uh... No, actually, I haven't.
COURTNEY: Oh. Well, it's... you know, you're doing new things now,
- so that might be one of them. - CAITLYN: I know.
(Door opens, closes)
- (footsteps approaching) - Uh-oh.
- JOHNIE: Hello. - COURTNEY: Babes.
- CAITLYN: He's here. - JOHNIE: I made it.
- CAITLYN: How you doing? - JOHNIE: Good, how are you doing again?
CAITLYN: I'm good. I'm doing good. How are you?
- JOHNIE: I'm fantastic. - CAITLYN: Well, good.
- COURTNEY: Uh, hi. - JOHNIE: What's been happening lately?
- CAITLYN: You came to pick her up? - Oh, hi, yeah.
Remember her?
COURTNEY: Yeah, do you remember?
I think he's forgotten about me
- since I haven't been around so much. - CAITLYN: Really, you haven't been around much lately?
JOHNIE: Yeah, she used to be home a few days a week,
and now she's never home.
CAITLYN: Never home? Well, you've got a working woman.
So, how did you two meet?
COURTNEY: One of my good guy friends that I've known since
third grade knows him, and he set us up.
CAITLYN: Honestly, in the heterosexual dating world,
it is nothing compared to what it is
for people in the trans community.
COURTNEY: Babe, what if
you met someone, and you, like,
were super into them,
and you found out they were trans?
JOHNIE: Like, how... how soon into the,
you know, like, relationship courting does that come up?
Because I believe that should be something that's kind of more up-front,
otherwise it's sort of deceptive.
COURTNEY: Why? Would it change?
- CAITLYN: You would have to be honest right from the beginning. - JOHNIE: Yeah, right from the start,
- you know? 'Cause not telling someone... - COURTNEY: Like, if I told you right now
that I was trans,
then you'd be like...
CAITLYN: Yeah, what would you do?
COURTNEY: Would it change us?
JOHNIE: Yeah, but then,
you know, we can
- choose to continue to be friends. - COURTNEY: And would you continue?
Oh, and be friends.
You would continue and be friends.
- CAITLYN: He would dump you like a hot potato, girl. - JOHNIE: No. Well...
- COURTNEY: Basically. Basically. - CAITLYN: Who are you worried about?
Is it other people,
what their... they would think about you?
JOHNIE: No, it's how you...
how I perceive y... you.
CAITLYN: I really appreciate Johnie's honesty,
but this is a problem in the trans community.
A lot of people are supportive, but
when it starts to get a little too close,
they have a hard time dealing with that.
- It's a big issue, if you... - COURTNEY: What is the best way to go about it then if...
- CAITLYN: If you look at all of the girls, you know... - COURTNEY: Right.
CAITLYN: ... every one,
hard time finding a date.
I really can't even imagine dating or doing something like that.
Uh, to me, it's absolutely overwhelming.
It might be too much.
JOHNIE: Well, as time goes on, more and more
people will be open to that
and understand that this is normal, this isn't some, you know,
freaky thing,
and a lot of people are like this, so, you know...
but right now, it's still,
it's an awkward situation.
CAITLYN: Ta-da. Let's go get something to eat.
- CANDIS: Why, thank you. - CAITLYN: You got it.
With us, whose job is that?
- CANDIS: I... I think we have to trade off and on. - CAITLYN: Uh, we trade off? Okay.
- CANDIS: We're out, and we're hungry. - CAITLYN: I know. How exciting is this?
CANDIS: I'm starving.
CAITLYN: I know. Actually, I am starving too.
WAITER: Here you go, ladies.
CANDIS: That's perfect.
- CAITLYN: To a girls' lunch and, yeah. - CANDIS: To a girls' lunch,
my darling.
(laughs)
Thank you for picking me up.
My car is on the fritz.
Like, the computer and the dash completely went dead on me,
and so, like, there's no blinker.
- CAITLYN: No way. - CANDIS: So I have to, like,
do hand signals.
Yeah.
- CAITLYN: I think that's funny. - CANDIS: It's, like, a ten-year-old car.
- I... I'm trying to decide if I want to fix this car... - WAITER: Here you go.
CAITLYN: You need, like, a Porsche or something. Maybe something hot.
CANDIS: Can't really do that on my budget right now.
CAITLYN: Yeah. Yeah. Ooh, what do we got?
CANDIS: So
I have an audition coming up for a movie.
- Like, that's what I've been studying. - CAITLYN: You do?
CANDIS: Yeah. Katie Holmes. Do you know Katie Holmes?
CAITLYN: Yeah.
- CANDIS: Put in a good word. (Candis laughs) - CAITLYN: Tom Cruise.
In my minimal experience with acting...
CANDIS: Yes.
CAITLYN: ... I actually enjoyed the process.
What I didn't enjoy is the process of getting the work.
That sucked.
- CANDIS: It does suck. - CAITLYN: Yeah.
CANDIS: It's nerve-racking, having people judging you,
- and being trans and judging you... - CAITLYN: Mm-hmm.
CANDIS: ... there's always that little extra...
you know...
insecurity there, you know?
CAITLYN: You were the only reason I watched Dirty Sexy Money.
CANDIS: Thanks.
- CAITLYN: I said, "Who is this little trans girl?" - (Candis laughs)
It was a big deal that...
- Billy Baldwin, right? - CANDIS: Yeah.
CAITLYN: Oh, my God, he kissed the trans woman.
- CANDIS: Yeah. - CAITLYN: I...
You were hot as hell. Why wouldn't he?
(Candis laughs)
CANDIS: I've never not been a performer;
it's part my soul, you know, and it's
something that I have to do. However, it's been a struggle
to get the respect, um, from...
producers, directors, casting agents.
And I put up this front all the time because
I have to be the one on top
who people look up to for my community,
and it's been hard, it's been hard.
CAITLYN: Going over to the health center?
- CANDIS: Yeah. - CAITLYN: After this?
That should be good.
- That'll be very interesting. - CANDIS: I got an appointment;
it was, like, a three-month wait, and so I was like...
- CAITLYN: Get out of here. - CANDIS: Yeah.
And so, um, I mean, I have a family doctor,
but, uh, it's hard to find the right doctors,
that know the right medication we need,
I just want to go to somebody that knows what they're doing,
- CAITLYN: Yeah, right. - CANDIS: ... when it comes to our issues.
CAITLYN: I'd like to see it.
CANDIS: I would love for you to come with me.
- CAITLYN: Yeah. - CANDIS: Yeah.
So who gets the check?
- CAITLYN: Here's the deal. - (Candis laughs) CANDIS: Yeah.
(Caitlyn chuckles) CAITLYN: I opened the door
- for you coming in... - (Candis laughs)
CANDIS: Damn!
Okay, I'll get the check, then you get the car.
CAITLYN: Well, no.
No. So, actually, if I got the door,
- I opened the door for you. - CANDIS: Right.
CAITLYN: That means that I should also pick the check up.
- CANDIS: No. - CAITLYN: Why not?
CANDIS: Because you're used to picking up the check.
Just once you should have the check picked up for you.
CAITLYN: This whole dating thing
- is getting so complicated. - CANDIS: It's so confusing
- with two girls. - CAITLYN: It's so confusing.
I just don't know how to do it all.
RECEPTIONIST: Welcome to the L.A. LGBT Center.
- How can I help you? - CANDIS: Thank you.
I just need to register.
RECEPTIONIST: Just go ahead and start filling out this piece of paperwork.
Have a seat, and the doctor will be with you soon, okay?
- CANDIS: Okay. Thank you. - CAITLYN: There's always paperwork, isn't there?
CANDIS: Always paperwork.
"Emergency contact." Ouch.
- CAITLYN: Put me down. - CANDIS: Okay.
- The lover. - (Both laugh)
CAITLYN: "I consider myself
gay, bisexual, heterosexual, lesbian, questioning."
- Questioning. - (Candis laughs)
CANDIS: Questioning.
NURSE: Candis?
- NURSE: Come on back. - CANDIS: Okay, great.
NURSE: Come on in. First stop is gonna be, uh,
- on the scale. - CANDIS: Oh, God, no, not the scale.
NURSE: The scale.
CANDIS: Don't you dare film this goddamn scale.
Don't say it out loud. (Candis laughs) NURSE: Okay, perfect.
- CAITLYN: I won't tell. - CANDIS: I caught you.
NURSE: So come on in.
CANDIS: I'm a good 15 pounds heavier than I want to be.
- NURSE: I'll have the doctor come right in. - CANDIS: Okay, thank you so much.
CAITLYN: The doctor's coming in; shouldn't you, like,
- put a gown on? - (Candis laughs)
- No! - Yeah, that green thing.
CANDIS: I remember when I first started transition,
it was like, you'd go to these doctors,
and nobody... You'd have to, like, sit in a room and say,
"I'm trans," and half of them would be like, "Oh, I'm sorry,"
and the other half would be like,
"Well, I need to do a physical on you right now."
- CAITLYN: Oh, wow. - CANDIS: And I was like, "Okay,"
- you know? - CAITLYN: Yeah, what do you know?
CANDIS: And I got totally fondled by some doctor.
CAITLYN: It's shocking to me.
I can't believe
some people would act that way.
Especially
a person in the medical field.
- CANDIS: The good old days. - CAITLYN: Nasty.
(Knocking)
- CARPENTER: Hello. - CANDIS: Hi.
- CARPENTER: How are you? I'm Dr. Carpenter. - CANDIS: Good. Candis.
Nice to meet you.
- CARPENTER: Hi. How are you? - CAITLYN: Caitlyn. Dr. Carpenter, how are you?
CARPENTER: So nice to meet you.
So, in terms of your treatment,
do you feel like things are... have been going well for you?
CANDIS: I have a doctor that I've been like, "Oh, I'm a trans woman," and,
you know, tests my hormones and makes sure I'm,
you know, on the right dosage and stuff, but he doesn't really come
- from a place of knowledge in that, so... - CARPENTER: Right.
CANDIS: Dosing myself for so many years,
I've come to an idea of what I'm supposed to take,
- you know? - CARPENTER: And you shouldn't have to.
- CANDIS: And I shouldn't have to. - CARPENTER: Because you should have doctors
who are able to take care of you and know
how to help you and know where you are.
And, you know, it's a big problem between surgeons and hormone doctors,
there aren't a lot of people who do it.
Here we have people coming from sometimes Las Vegas,
sometimes Phoenix, driving in because Los Angeles
is the closest place they can come.
CANDIS: Yeah.
And for somebody in Oklahoma,
- they probably don't have... - CARPENTER: There's nobody.
CANDIS: There's nobody. CARPENTER: There's nobody.
There is literally nobody.
- (ringtone playing) - CAITLYN: Well...
- MAN: Who's that? - COURTNEY: Your girlfriend.
- CAITLYN: (laughs) Yeah. - CANDIS: Hello, gorgeous.
- COURTNEY: Hi, Candis. - MAN: Candis!
CAITLYN: Hey, how are you doing?
CANDIS: Hey, I'm doing good.
I was about to go do some errands and stuff like that and I was
just thinking, like, what you were doing this weekend.
We could have, like, a girls' night, but not, like, at the house,
but, like, get you out maybe.
- COURTNEY: Yes! - MAN: I like the way this sounds, Candis!
CAITLYN: What are we talking... "out"?
- CANDIS: Let's go to The Abbey in the middle of... - MAN: Oh, my God, yes!
CANDIS: I think it will be fun, because
it's kind of like it's a mixed night where there's, like,
gay and lesbian and straight people there.
MAN: That sounds perfect.
CAITLYN: I don't know.
- That's awfully public. - MAN: But that's, like, the perfect place to go.
- CANDIS: Yeah. - COURTNEY: You might find
a girlfriend, a boyfriend.
CAITLYN: Oh, no, that is not where I'm going here.
They have to realize that it's been, like, a month or two now
that I've been out, so I
honestly haven't even thought or
been approached or been tempted in any direction.
Scares me to death.
It's kind of like getting fed to the wolves.
COURTNEY: When have you ever not just gone for it?
Candis, she'll be there.
CANDIS: All right.
CAITLYN: This place really scares me.
- Hey! - JEN: Whew!
Look at that dress!
- CAITLYN: Hi, baby. - JEN: I love that dress.
CAITLYN: I'm trying to keep up with you.
How are you, baby?
- WOMAN: Oh, good to see you. - COURTNEY: Wait a minute!
- CAITLYN: What? What? What? - COURTNEY: We're moving to the dance floor.
CANDIS: We're making a move, Cait.
COURTNEY: Candis has you.
- She's a professional. - CAITLYN: You've got my back?
It's hard for me to go to a place like The Abbey and have
"fun," you know?
I... I always feel like I'm on display.
And I know what they're gonna try to do. They'll try to
get me to dance.
You know, it's just not comfortable.
Oh, no! This is horrible.
CANDIS: No, it's fabulous. Just go with it.
- CAITLYN: Those guys aren't dressed. - CANDIS: Go with it.
(Caitlyn sighs)
CAITLYN: It's not really my style.
The girls, they say, "Come on, you got to do it," but
it just like, oh, God. I don't think I need this in my life.
_
(laughter)
_
- CAITLYN: Whoa! - MAN: She's going for it.
CANDIS: I think that Cait is probably...
my gut says that she is attracted to women.
COURTNEY: There goes your girlfriend!
CANDIS: I think she's
attracted to women, because she's been married to a woman
three times and she's lived her whole life with women.
I can't imagine Cait deciding to transition and then go with guys.
Your sexuality and your gender
are two totally different things. Although,
if she decides to venture off,
it's nobody's (bleep) business but hers.
- CAITLYN: I love you. - CANDIS: I love you.
CAITLYN: Ah, good job tonight.
- Little Miss Jenny. - JENNY: Hello.
- CAITLYN: Hey, babe. - JENNY: I love the dress.
- CAITLYN: How you doing? - JENNY: I'm really good.
CAITLYN: Are you enjoying your time out here?
JENNY: Oh, I love it. I love coming out here.
CAITLYN: What are you reading?
JENNY: Uh, this is a collection of short stories.
My mother collected books, and, uh,
it's a book that I actually found in her library and I'm like, "Huh."
CAITLYN: Well, here's to our friendship.
- JENNY: Here's to our friendship. - CAITLYN: We've come a long way, haven't we?
JENNY: You know, I have to say,
you seem different to me than when
- I first started getting to know you. - CAITLYN: Absolutely.
JENNY: You seem so much more confident, comfortable.
- CAITLYN: Right now, I still have a lot of firsts, yes. - JENNY: Yeah.
CAITLYN: Yeah, but I'm getting there.
That first trip to San Francisco
- was the first time in my life I ever packed a bag - JENNY: I know.
with just Caitlyn clothes.
- Pretty cool. - CAITLYN: Yeah.
JENNY: Speaking of the, um, uh,
the road trip crew, I understand that you all were out at The Abbey?
- CAITLYN: Yes, well... - JENNY: Tell me about it. Was it good?
CAITLYN: Um...
JENNY: Did you feel uncomfortable?
CAITLYN: A little bit uncomfortable, yes.
They had guys dancing all over the place, yeah.
Could I, like, stare at the guy? No.
Plus, they were all packing.
(Jenny laughs)
You know, The Abbey, they're all packing.
You know, you go, "Oh, my God." Yeah.
JENNY: Well, you know, some people
- would think guys... - CAITLYN: You know, honestly?
JENNY: ... seeing guys packing would be an exciting thing.
CAITLYN: That may be...
That's very true.
JENNY: It can be hard for some people to understand that
who you love
is different from who you are.
This is a thing she's... she's got to make... to get over.
It's a funny place for her to be
conservative, considering
how much progress she's made.
Um, when I
went through what you're going through right now,
I wasn't sure that I was gonna remain attracted to women.
I thought I can prove to everyone I'm really a woman
by now I'll be with guys, which is a messed-up thing to think.
- CAITLYN: Okay. - JENNY: But at a certain point,
I realized the needle of my compass kept pointing back
not only to women,
but also to... to my wife.
CAITLYN: Yeah, you lucked out on that one.
JENNY: Yeah.
- So... - CAITLYN: Yeah, 'cause it's more fun to go through life
with somebody else.
JENNY: And that's the thing that I... that I want for you.
And I know that you've said many, many times
that thinking about who you want to be in love with
is the last thing on your list.
But humor me.
Think about it.
CAITLYN: Oh, I will. Oh, I definitely am. I always have my... I am.
I've got the biggest open mind in the world.
JENNY: So, who's that open eye looking at?
CAITLYN: Uh...
right now,
I'm just kind of so obsessed
- with educating people. - JENNY: Yeah,
but you're not answering my question.
CAITLYN: But wait, wait, wait, wait. You're, uh... I'm getting to it.
- I'm getting to the answer. - JENNY: Okay, all right.
CAITLYN: Uh, I'm so excited about this, I'm really not
- thinking about stuff on the outside. - JENNY: Caitlyn Jenner,
you're pulling back on me.
To... to run away from the issues of
- gender... - CAITLYN: Mm-hmm.
JENNY: ... you became an Olympic champion
and then you became a great parent.
You're throwing yourself into your work again,
and it's the best work in the world, but you're
running away from it.
You're throwing yourself into your work again,
and it's the best work in the world, but
you're running away from it.
CAITLYN: Well, uh, probably, yeah.
- I would say so, yeah. - JENNY: So, so let's take...
CAITLYN: But, honestly, I've only been divorced two...
two years, you know. It's not like
I wasn't in a relationship for a long time.
JENNY: So, you can see yourself with a woman?
CAITLYN: Uh, well, I've always been with women.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I... I don't have a problem with that.
I can have my choices now. Yeah.
It would... it would be very attractive to me
to have
a guy
treat me like a woman.
JENNY: What does that mean?
CAITLYN: Uh, that you would be treated like a normal woman, okay?
JENNY: What do you mean, "a normal woman"?
CAITLYN: Like any other woman on the street
and not make it this big trans thing
or this or that, just
- a normal relationship. - JENNY: So, you know what,
Caitlyn Jenner, you are a normal woman
right now, today.
A man is not...
You don't need a man to
make you a woman.
- Um... - CAITLYN: Oh, now that's true.
JENNY: A woman can make you a woman.
CAITLYN: Oh, yeah, yeah.
JENNY: I mean, I think it's a thing,
I mean, it's a thing that women do. We look,
we look to men
to give us self-worth, and it's a thing that we need. I think,
now that you're in the sisterhood, um,
you know, you have gone to such trouble to become a woman,
don't be a stupid one. Be a smart one.
CAITLYN: Oh, I'm trying to be.
Haven't I proved myself yet?
JENNY: You don't need to prove yourself to me.
You need to prove yourself to you.
It's a process that people go through,
accepting who they are sexually in this new world.
Cait is not gonna find someone until
she looks, and she can't look until she accepts herself.
We all deserve love,
and I... I worry for you, Caitlyn, that, um,
you're... you're not letting yourself be loved.
CAITLYN: I'll play that card someday.
Hey, baby! How's everybody doing?
All my traveling buddies are here.
- ZACKARY: Let me take your purse. - CAITLYN: How are you?
VAN: Hi, I'm Van.
I'm Zackary's rotten sister.
- CAITLYN: No way. - VAN: Yes, it's true.
- CAITLYN: The dirty one? - VAN: To the core.
- CAITLYN: Of course. - ANNABELLE: I'm Annabelle, Chandi's coworker.
- CAITLYN: Hi. Nice to see you. - ANNABELLE: Nice to meet you.
CAITLYN: Doesn't everybody look so nice?
ZACKARY: Why don't we, uh, head on over.
CAITLYN: Let's do it.
Ever since the road trip, I really haven't had a chance
to spend any time with the girls.
I am so looking forward to having
a great dinner and honest conversation.
VAN: Thank you so much.
CAITLYN: Where do you live?
VAN: I live in the foothills of the Ozarks outside of St. Louis, Missouri, about an hour.
ZACKARY: She also works in Hollywood.
- VAN: Well, I commute. - ZACKARY: Halftime.
- Half of the year. - CAITLYN: That's a long commute.
ZACKARY: She survived all my boyfriends.
- VAN: And she survived all my plane wrecks. - (Zackary laughs)
CANDIS: It's so hard to meet somebody who is normal.
- It's a lot of work. - CAITLYN: It's a lot of work.
CANDIS: Having a relationship is a lot of work.
TRACE: I gave up.
VAN: How many guys have ever stood you up before?
(Trace scoffs)
You lost count?
- TRACE: Lost count. - VAN: Me, too.
TRACE: I met a guy, and we were texting and I was like,
"Oh, by the way, uh, I'm TS."
He was like, "Well, I've never dealt with that before, but okay."
So then we were getting ready to meet up for a date,
and I was like, "You know, are you sure
you're good with my gender history and everything?"
And he was like,
"Wait, your gender history?"
And I'm like, "Transsexual or transgender."
"Oh, I thought you had Turner syndrome."
- (laughter) - VAN: What's that?
TRACE: And he was like, "Oh, I'm sorry.
I can't deal with transsexual."
And I was like, "Okay, so... "
VAN: Well, he just passed up the best
- ice cream in the world, honey. - TRACE: Yeah, he called me,
like, two months later for a hookup, which they always do.
- CANDIS: Of course. - TRACE: But, uh...
CHANDI: It's crazy that once we share that information with...
with them, how quickly that conversation goes
from being a nice "I want to take you out and get to know you"
- to strictly sex, just instantly. - CAITLYN: Really?
- CHANDI: Yes, Cait. - WOMAN: Oh, definitely.
ZACKARY: Basically, we're living in a world
- that has no place for us. - CHANDI: Right.
Stick with women, Caitlyn.
Much easier.
Trans men though, they're good.
Why don't you tell us about that, Zackary.
ZACKARY: They already know about it.
- I love trans men. - WOMAN: I do, too.
CAITLYN: Really?
VAN: There's a lot of trans on trans relationships though.
- ZACKARY: There really are. - VAN: It's becoming a lot
- more popular. - CAITLYN: Do you think it's good?
VAN: Yes. They understand each other.
ZACKARY: When we're dating cis people,
we're really aware of the fact that we're trans,
and when you're with another trans person,
it's a completely free space.
VAN: The trans man doesn't come with the shame
that a cis male comes with, because
it's been projected upon them if they love trans women
that it's gonna, like, really box them into this "homosexual" style.
- CAITLYN: Right. - VAN: So I think we should all just
date trans men and get over it.
- TRACE: I think you're right. - CAITLYN: To the trans men.
VAN: May you all experience one in your lifetime.
(laughter)
- CAITLYN: My God, it's like climbing Mount Everest! - (Candis laughs)
CANDIS: Hi, honey.
- CAITLYN: Oh, wait, wait, wait, color coordinated! - (Candis laughs)
That's so scary.
- CANDIS: Oh, my God. Are you kidding? - CAITLYN: Where's a mirror?
Where's a mirror? Of course there's a mirror in your house.
- CANDIS: We're wearing the same color. - CAITLYN: We are.
That's funny.
- CANDIS: Well, thank you for coming over. - CAITLYN: My pleasure.
What's the deal with your car?
CANDIS: My air conditioning doesn't work.
- CAITLYN: No way. - CANDIS: Yeah.
CAITLYN: What year is the car?
- Let's go down and see the car. - CANDIS: Okay.
Be careful, because these have no traction,
- so walk sideways. - CAITLYN: I got flats on.
You got a bigger problem than me.
CANDIS: If you were to kill yourself
- on these stairs, I would... - CAITLYN: When are you gonna put an elevator in this place?
Volvo?
(Candis laughs)
CANDIS: You don't see me in a Volvo?
CAITLYN: No, I don't see you in a Volvo.
What do you got for miles?
CANDIS: 200,000.
- CAITLYN: You put 200,000 miles on... - CANDIS: Or is it 100,000?
- CAITLYN: Where the hell are you going? - CANDIS: Maybe it's 100,000 miles.
(Laughs)
CAITLYN: It's 100,000. You're only off by 100,000.
- (bumper scrapes) - Does it always do that?
CANDIS: When there's more than one of us...
- CAITLYN: In the car? - CANDIS: In the car.
CAITLYN: Where's your backup video?
CANDIS: See? Like, it just goes on.
- What is going with this car? - CAITLYN: Why did your blinkers go on for no reason?
That's strange.
CANDIS: I love that I have Caitlyn pumping gas.
CAITLYN: Mm-hmm.
- It's what I do, girl. - (Candis laughs)
Yeah, I don't want you to break a nail.
I've been doing that kind of stuff all my life,
so I can help Candis out,
you know, find a garage,
get her car fixed, 'cause it's got to be in working order.
The electrical keeps, like, going crazy.
MECHANIC: All right.
CAITLYN: There's a thud-thud-thud-thud-thud.
- MECHANIC: Okay. - CAITLYN: Maybe a bad tire.
MECHANIC: Check tires and a thumping noise.
CAITLYN: And the air conditioning's not working now.
MECHANIC: I'll give it a once-over,
- give it a safety check. - CAITLYN: Honestly, that's exactly what it needs.
MECHANIC: Okay, early next week, we'll get it all done.
- CANDIS: Thank you so much. - MECHANIC: No problem.
Done deal. Okay.
CAITLYN: You kind of, like, need somebody in your life to
take care of you,
and most people take that for granted.
And... and I... I never have.
CANDIS: You know, the car thing has really bummed me out, because
I don't feel in control, and I've always been somebody
who's always been in control of my life and my career. And
after moving out to Hollywood and having the market crash
and everything kind of melted away
and not working as much, it was
- a tough few years, you know? - CAITLYN: Yeah, yeah.
I think one of the worst things you can do is not feel
excited about the future,
you know?
CANDIS: It's been a long time.
- CAITLYN: Really? - CANDIS: Yeah.
I... I moved out here with a guy, and...
CAITLYN: Is this the same one you had had for years?
CANDIS: Yeah, seven years.
- CAITLYN: Seven years together. - CANDIS: Yeah.
A little over seven years.
Then when things got rough, he
was abusing, kind of abusing.
I am a person
who sees red flags but keeps going.
Then when things got rough, he
was abusing, kind of abusing.
I am a person
who sees red flags but keeps going.
Like, my... one of my boyfriends ripped a sink out of the wall,
in a rage.
I allowed the men I choose to date
in the past to treat me
the way no woman should be treated.
I played it off like,
"Oh, it's okay; he was just having a bad night." Like,
red flag.
- You know what I mean? - CAITLYN: Major red flag.
CANDIS: All of my relationships,
every single one, I look back and I think, I should have gotten out
or... or had a more finite, uh,
line that you can't cross.
It took me
two years to break up,
even though I knew that it wasn't right.
CAITLYN: Yeah. How long ago was this?
CANDIS: This was, like, I don't know,
- three years ago. - CAITLYN: Wow.
CANDIS: And I've dated off and on, but...
- you know. - CAITLYN: Anybody special?
CANDIS: No.
- CAITLYN: No? - CANDIS: No. I don't think I...
I don't think I could go there anymore.
I just, honestly, I don't trust the process. You know? Like, I... I...
my whole life, I've
wanted that, you know. Like, you've
- been so fortunate. You've had wives... - CAITLYN: Yeah, I've had those, yes.
- CANDIS: ... and you have kids. - CAITLYN: Yeah.
- So fortunate. - CANDIS: Like, I've... I've had failed
relationship after failed relationship, and I can't
figure out why. You know?
It makes no sense, because I... I think of myself as, like, a...
a good person.
I'm really nice to the people that I'm with.
But, um, it just... I have this, like,
this relationship idea on a pedestal,
because my parents have been married for 50 years,
and... and I just let things go.
I... I think it also... like,
just being trans and trying to date is... is...
CAITLYN: Tough.
- CANDIS: Tough, because you don't find a guy that's... - CAITLYN: You're limited.
CANDIS: You're limited. I...
want, with all my heart, what my parents have.
But your pool of men,
it gets thinner as you... once you, you know,
tell them that you're... you're trans.
CAITLYN: It's gonna be okay.
- It's gonna be okay. - (Candis sniffles)
- CANDIS: But I, you know... - CAITLYN: The last two years, you didn't have me,
hanging out, to hang out with, right?
CANDIS: I know. I just don't think it's ever
gonna happen in the love department.
- CAITLYN: You can't think that way. - (dog barks)
You just can't think that way.
- (barking) - Your dogs love you.
(Candis laughs) CANDIS: Thank you.
CAITLYN: Honestly, it's gonna be okay.
Got to be excited about the future.
(Candis sniffles) CANDIS: Yeah.
CHANDI: Hey, sister.
- Look at you. - CANDIS: Hi. You look so pretty.
CHANDI: Mm, don't you look gorg.
CANDIS: We're both kind of flowy,
- salon mamas. - CHANDI: A little flowy and
- fun and... - CANDIS: I love the hair.
CHANDI: Thank you. You know, another one of my hats.
(Candis laughs)
- CANDIS: So... - CHANDI: So what's going on, mama?
CANDIS: Just, you know...
I've been trying to date online,
and that's just not really working, you know?
CHANDI: Mmm...
For us, it's just...
the hardest thing.
But the killer part is that
some guys just think that we'll go for anything.
- CANDIS: Mm. - CHANDI: You know what I mean?
- As if we don't have standards or morals... - CANDIS: Yeah.
CHANDI: ... or a type or any of those things.
They just think we want anything that's moving,
- and that's not the case. - CANDIS: A lot of us girls...
- CHANDI: Mm-hmm? - CANDIS: ... tolerate a whole bunch of (bleep).
Because they feel like they...
you know,
have to deal with the crap that men,
- you know, dish out. - CHANDI: Because of who they are.
CANDIS: Because of who and what they are.
CHANDI: I say no to that.
- CANDIS: No. - CHANDI: And finding men who
are willing to commit, you know,
- that's the challenge. - CANDIS: I don't think it's gonna happen.
Because of that fact, you know?
No, I don't. Like, I... I put in, I put in all my hopes and my
dreams in a bunch of relationships that went nowhere.
- CHANDI: I don't want to hear you say that. - (Candis chuckles)
We just have to maintain that hope.
We have all the goods.
Why they can't see that yet...
- that's not our problem. - CANDIS: Right.
CHANDI: Somebody will get it.
CANDIS: Maybe I should just date Cait.
- (laughs) - CHANDI: Well, why not?
Why not?
It's all over the papers anyway.
CANDIS: It is. I mean, everybody thinks we are anyway.
CHANDI: And who would be more perfect for Cait
than someone who understands her?
- Oh, complete journey. - (Candis laughs)
Yes.
- CANDIS: My gosh. - CHANDI: Yes.
Well,
you know, my little Candis,
she's been kind of down.
Down on her love life, down on work,
down on this, down on that.
I want to cheer her up,
and so I'm gonna invite her to camp day.
Yes, we're going to a camp
that is all transgender kids.
What a great idea!
One of the big problems with being trans, especially as a youth,
is you really feel isolated.
You feel like you are the only person in the world that is trans.
To, uh, find people that they can identify with,
that they can be friends with, it's so very important.
I hope that this camp will re-inspire
little Candis and
get her going again, because life's good and it's short.
Hello, everybody.
- KIDS: Hi. - CAITLYN: Caitlyn. How are you?
COUNSELOR: Everyone, this is Caitlyn and Candis.
CANDIS: Hi, you guys.
- CAITLYN: Good, we'll start down here. Slide over. - (Laughter)
Where do we start?
NICK: Well, we want to welcome everyone to camp,
and, um, welcome many of you back to camp.
This is our sixth year running.
We started with 40 kids,
and we're serving over 400 campers this year in different locations.
- CANDIS: Wow. - NICK: So we're really excited.
CAITLYN: Hey!
NICK: Yeah. I'm transgender, and I felt like a lot of camps
don't know what to do with trans kids;
they don't know where to house them or
what to do, and I said, "All right. We got to start something."
Have kids, you know, go somewhere and be understood.
CAITLYN: What's the best part about coming to camp?
ANYA: Camp isn't really about being trans.
It's just about having a good time
with people who understand you and
get what you've gone through.
JORDAN: The word "judging" and "judgment" doesn't even exist.
I was a super shy and really
self-conscious person before I went to camp, and
it was a definite confidence-booster to be able to have that
reassuring feeling that people are in this world just like me.
JUSTIN: When I went to other camps, I was
judged by what I liked and what I did.
And at Aranu'tiq,
being around friends is really nice when you haven't been around friends for
most of your life.
CAITLYN: Well, you got friends here.
- JUSTIN: Yeah. - CAITLYN: Yeah.
CANDIS: Wow, I wish I had a camp like this when I was 14.
CAITLYN: Yeah, I didn't have anything like this. Yes, yes.
CANDIS: That's what's so magical about this,
is being able to share stories with each other,
which is so great at your age to do that. It's amazing.
CAITLYN: Yeah. If I would've had somebody to open up to
at a much younger age, it would've made
me feel a lot better about myself.
CANDIS: I would love to hear more stories.
LILY: Yeah, my parents, uh, it was quite a shocker,
because I was always the son who played football, you know?
I was, like, the starting quarterback. If I had to say one thing,
it's that I've heard throughout, you know, my transition
and being trans that, um,
you know, "Oh, maybe you're just confused about your gender."
And I think that,
because we have to go through this whole experience
and have so many people doubting our gender,
that it really... it makes us,
ourselves, know it better than most people do.
I just learned so much from the campers and the counselors, just about
what it means to be trans and
also what it means to be a person.
I know a couple people who haven't had that support
and things are definitely harder.
I just have to say, like, stick through it, because
while you seem stuck in the moment,
and you kind of are,
there's going to be people who are going to help you and there's gonna be,
you know, a community that will support you.
JORDAN: If you're questioning your identity, I think
people should come out. Even if it's just to, like,
a close friend or to your pet, at least just saying that, like,
"I'm a boy" or "I'm a girl," saying that is
really helpful and
- brightens your soul. - CAITLYN: I love that.
CANDIS: Being around
those kids, who were so vivacious,
they just feel so good about themselves
and they're so comfortable in their skin,
really kind of inspires me.
I know I was in a rut for a while with my
career and my love life, and I realized that that
stuff will come. It's about me
feeling good about myself and
being a good role model for people like these kids.
- It's the adults versus kids. - BOY: We need help.
CAITLYN: We'll kick their butt.
COUNSELOR: All right, may the best team win!
- (cheering) - CAITLYN: No! Don't let it go!
This camp gives you hope.
You see, at such a young age,
these kids who are dealing with a
very tough issue and dealing with it with grace and dignity.
(Cheering)
CANDIS: Olympian, my ass.
- CAITLYN: I obviously didn't pick this team. - (Laughter)
They're gonna come out the other side, just, you know,
a great part of society.
Thank you to the camp. Hey!
We're all beautiful! Hey!
CANDIS: Okay.
I kind of
had given up a little bit on love,
so I have this friend who knows a matchmaker,
I thought I would just to do it. I'm really excited,
um, to see if it's even possible for a matchmaker
to match a trans woman.
CAITLYN: Okay.
CANDIS: You... you look hot!
CAITLYN: Yeah, I don't know how you girls walk in these shoes.
So, of course, I brought my sandals.
- CANDIS: Just in case. - CAITLYN: Just in case.
- CANDIS: That's for the ride home. - CAITLYN: Or down the stairs.
- CANDIS: Those goddamn stairs. - CAITLYN: Are we doing this?
CANDIS: We're doing this. I asked Cait to come over here
and support me, but we both should utilize
the matchmaker's services, so I'm gonna try to convince her to
go along with it. You know, I'm
actually excited about getting you
to try to get matched up also.
- CAITLYN: Not... - CANDIS: Yeah.
CAITLYN: ... in a million years.
- CANDIS: Cait. - CAITLYN: No, I... I...
I don't need a matchmaking service.
CANDIS: Well, you don't have to, like, go out on a
full-fledged date or anything.
- They're not gonna put your face on a... - (Samson howling, barking)
CAITLYN: Please. Please.
CANDIS: He's here. It's okay, Samson.
Samson, really. Hi. How are you?
- LOUIE: Good. How are you? - CANDIS: Good.
- I'm Candis. - LOUIE: I'm Louie.
- CANDIS: Come on in. - CAITLYN: Nice to meet you.
LOUIE: Hi, nice to meet you, too.
Gorgeous. You ladies are gorgeous.
- CANDIS: Why don't we go out into the backyard? It's nice... - CAITLYN: Let's go hit the backyard.
- LOUIE: Please, after you. - CAITLYN: Okay.
- Would you like a glass of wine? - LOUIE: Uh, sure.
- CANDIS: There you go. - LOUIE: Awesome.
CAITLYN: Tell me a little bit about what you guys do.
LOUIE: Uh, so I've been doing this for almost 13 years.
- CAITLYN: Have you really? - LOUIE: I have.
CAITLYN: My God, how many successful ones?
- LOUIE: Thousands. - CAITLYN: Wow.
- I'm excited now. - CANDIS: I know.
CAITLYN: I'm excited for you.
LOUIE: We typically cater to high-quality, high-caliber,
well-educated and/or self-made men and women
looking for long-term relationships.
- CANDIS: That's perfect. Sounds like us. - CAITLYN: Let's get it going for her. What?
Well, for you, yeah, you, yeah. This is all about you tonight.
CANDIS: Okay, well, we'll see.
(laughter)
LOUIE: So I've never, um, actually matched or worked with,
um, trans women, um, or any trans men. Um,
but I'm excited. I mean, I see you as a
beautiful, successful, accomplished woman.
I really feel that I can, I can match you.
You know, the four elements of chemistry that most people talk about,
the first one would be the obvious one, the physical chemistry.
Next is intellectual, spiritual
and emotional.
So when you think about who you see yourself
for a long-term relationship, what's the driving
force behind who you see yourself with long-term?
I'm gonna give you 100% to work with,
but you cannot use the same percentage twice.
Let's have Caitlyn do it, too.
CANDIS: Yeah.
- Caitlyn. - CAITLYN: Why am I doing it?
CANDIS: You're doing it just for fun.
We're not, we're not naming,
- we're not naming any names. - CAITLYN: We're not putting names down.
Physically, I don't know where I'm at.
LOUIE: So do you take time to get to know somebody
before you just determine if you're attracted to them,
or do you know immediately when you see them?
CAITLYN: God bless it, this is making
- me think for a minute. - CANDIS: Okay, that's good.
LOUIE: Most men that take this
chemistry analysis, they think more masculine.
They start with the lowest percentage.
CAITLYN: Damn it!
- That's what I did. - LOUIE: Is it?
CAITLYN: Damn!
- I thought I had this transition down. - (Laughter)
LOUIE: Okay, let me, let me correct myself.
Most people who have more of a...
CAITLYN: Don't try to back out of this.
LOUIE: No, more of a masculine thought process.
You know, you just process information
almost like an engineer, if that makes sense.
You overprocess, overanalyze information.
You take a little bit more time to get to know someone,
so you're the type of person that's gonna date their best friend.
CAITLYN: Yeah.
Well, that's true.
Going through life
with a partner,
um, is always more fun.
It's probably a lot more complicated
now that I've been out,
but it's possible.
I never want to give up on love and
partnership. That would be sad to give up on that.
CANDIS: Come on, girl. Let's send him home.
CAITLYN: Here we are, back where we started.
CANDIS: Right.
Candis is coming over.
I have a surprise for her.
CANDIS: Hi!
- CAITLYN: Did you bring my paper? - CANDIS: I did.
Did you see them?
This is, like, the Los Angeles Times review on
- I Am Cait. - CAITLYN: No, I didn't see it.
CANDIS: And a gorgeous, gorgeous picture of you.
CAITLYN: Is it a good shot? That's all I care about.
- CANDIS: Great shot. - CAITLYN: Ooh!
- CANDIS: Yes. - CAITLYN: "Transcendent TV."
CANDIS: "Transforms reality genre."
- CAITLYN: You know what? - CANDIS: So good.
CAITLYN: I so, so, so worried.
Positive press.
- CANDIS: My God, positive press. - CAITLYN: Positive press!
- CANDIS: My God. - CAITLYN: I know.
All right, so this is actually why I wanted you to come over.
Um, I know we took your car the other day,
so I got something for you to drive, so let's go.
CANDIS: Really?
(laughs)
- Are you kidding me? - CAITLYN: Candis, yeah.
CANDIS: I... (laughs)
CAITLYN: I just thought you'd look good in it.
CANDIS: I've never seen... I've never seen such a gorgeous car.
Are you kidding?
(laughs)
CAITLYN: I have friends in the automotive world
and to be able to get, in this case,
a Lamborghini for a couple of days
is very simple.
And it puts a smile on my face
when my dear friend looks so happy.
I don't want Candis to give up on herself
or her dreams.
She deserves all the happiness in the world.
(Engine revving)
Let's do it! Candis in the Lambo!
CANDIS: I really could get used to this.
(laughs)
- CAITLYN: Surf's up. - CANDIS: Gorgeous.
CAITLYN: Yeah. Can't you see the two of us
walking down the beach, the sun, the whole thing?
(Candis laughs)
I have no idea
what the future holds
when it comes to dating and relationships
and all that kind of stuff. But
I certainly wouldn't say no to anything.
We don't know what the future holds,
- and that's kind of the exciting part, isn't it? - CANDIS: It really is.
- synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -
Yay!
- ESTHER: Can't believe I got here! - CAITLYN: You made it, Mom!
The ESPY Awards are coming up.
Biggest pressure thing I've ever done
on a subject I have never talked about in public.
Kris and I haven't talked in months.
She hasn't called me in a year.
I would like to see you, okay?
Kris is coming over.
I don't think I've been ready,
- but I think it's time. - (Knocking)
- Well, look who's here. - KRIS: Hello. Oh, my goodness.