1 00:00:11,784 --> 00:00:13,918 Yo, Marcus, it's Dirty. How about you open the door, 2 00:00:13,953 --> 00:00:16,871 I'll fuck you up, and then I'll fuck off? 3 00:00:16,923 --> 00:00:20,007 2K Marcus owes you plus 10. That's five for you, Dirty. 4 00:00:20,043 --> 00:00:22,126 And the truck will be delivered tomorrow. 5 00:00:22,128 --> 00:00:23,711 I just bought Coach Healey a truck. 6 00:00:23,763 --> 00:00:25,680 Cam, some in the media 7 00:00:25,715 --> 00:00:28,516 are calling you a P word that rhymes with wussy. 8 00:00:28,551 --> 00:00:31,719 - How do you respond? - Nah, I'm a good person who has value. 9 00:00:31,771 --> 00:00:34,188 You mind if I get rid of this lawn decoration 10 00:00:34,223 --> 00:00:35,973 that the previous owners left behind? 11 00:00:35,975 --> 00:00:37,608 Uh-uh, that might be worth some money. 12 00:00:37,643 --> 00:00:39,527 - Uh... - Oh! 13 00:00:39,562 --> 00:00:43,481 You gotta do two things. One, drastically limit what annoys you; 14 00:00:43,533 --> 00:00:47,234 and two, stop saying things like, "I'm a grown-ass man." 15 00:00:47,286 --> 00:00:49,537 All it does is tell people you're not. 16 00:00:56,295 --> 00:00:58,045 Welcome back to Dennis & Callahan. 17 00:00:58,081 --> 00:01:01,665 We are thrilled to have a special guest live in the studio today. 18 00:01:01,718 --> 00:01:04,752 He's an old friend. He's Boston born. He's Boston bred. 19 00:01:04,804 --> 00:01:08,472 Cam Calloway back in the Hub for his first big game against the old town team. 20 00:01:08,508 --> 00:01:10,091 John and Gerry, great to be in Boston. 21 00:01:10,143 --> 00:01:12,226 Cam Calloway. Good kid, local kid. 22 00:01:12,261 --> 00:01:14,345 The pride of St. McGuire's in Dorchester. 23 00:01:14,397 --> 00:01:15,930 You must hate Atlanta. 24 00:01:15,982 --> 00:01:17,481 I love Atlanta, Gerry. 25 00:01:17,517 --> 00:01:19,683 Sure, when they signed you to that contract. 26 00:01:19,736 --> 00:01:21,018 But the team's 4-11, 27 00:01:21,070 --> 00:01:23,487 you got beat up by your sister, and then you lied about it. 28 00:01:23,523 --> 00:01:25,740 Jeez, Gerry, I would have lied, too. She can fucking punch. 29 00:01:25,775 --> 00:01:27,074 You can bleep that, right? 30 00:01:27,110 --> 00:01:28,826 And then he made these appalling PSAs 31 00:01:28,861 --> 00:01:31,495 where a lot of people thought he was mocking domestic violence. 32 00:01:31,531 --> 00:01:33,697 Is there any evidence that domestic abusers 33 00:01:33,699 --> 00:01:35,699 watch a TV commercial and say, "You know, 34 00:01:35,701 --> 00:01:38,002 I was gonna coldcock my loved one in the face, 35 00:01:38,037 --> 00:01:41,288 but then I saw Cam Calloway cry, so maybe I won't"? 36 00:01:41,340 --> 00:01:43,007 Each conversation yields education. 37 00:01:43,042 --> 00:01:45,376 How do you not throw your back out slinging that BS? 38 00:01:45,378 --> 00:01:47,261 I stretch. I do a lot of core work. 39 00:01:47,296 --> 00:01:48,929 Back to Atlanta. 40 00:01:48,965 --> 00:01:51,382 This is a city that went and found the biggest mountain 41 00:01:51,384 --> 00:01:53,634 in the entire state of Georgia, Stone Mountain, 42 00:01:53,686 --> 00:01:55,886 and decided it was a good idea to carve a bunch 43 00:01:55,938 --> 00:01:58,889 of Confederate generals' heads on the side of that mountain. 44 00:01:58,941 --> 00:02:02,443 I don't know, Cam. To me that sounds like a racist Mount Rushmore. 45 00:02:02,478 --> 00:02:04,395 More like a Mount Racemore. 46 00:02:04,447 --> 00:02:06,614 Guys, this thing was carved in, like, the 1980s. 47 00:02:06,649 --> 00:02:08,532 It wasn't like it was made last week. 48 00:02:08,568 --> 00:02:10,317 And plus they got some pretty dope hiking trails up there. 49 00:02:10,369 --> 00:02:12,536 But Atlanta's been booing you, Cam. 50 00:02:12,572 --> 00:02:16,290 They were expecting a Steph Curry-Kyrie Irving combination, 51 00:02:16,325 --> 00:02:17,958 and so far they've gotten neither. 52 00:02:17,994 --> 00:02:19,293 Well, it's a long season. 53 00:02:19,328 --> 00:02:21,162 You know, narratives have their chapters. 54 00:02:21,214 --> 00:02:23,247 I let my team down by missing six games, 55 00:02:23,249 --> 00:02:25,382 but, you know, I'm back and I'm ready to bear down and ball. 56 00:02:25,418 --> 00:02:27,334 It seems to me you've had one good... 57 00:02:27,386 --> 00:02:29,637 well, I'll even grant you great playoff run. 58 00:02:29,672 --> 00:02:32,506 Doesn't that make you Jeremy freakin' Lin? 59 00:02:32,558 --> 00:02:36,143 A capable player, but much more hype than hoop? 60 00:02:36,179 --> 00:02:38,979 Uh, when you take the big money 61 00:02:39,015 --> 00:02:41,182 and you play badly, you get heat. 62 00:02:41,234 --> 00:02:43,184 You know, that's the way the cookie crumbles. 63 00:02:43,236 --> 00:02:45,236 But that doubt drives me. 64 00:02:45,271 --> 00:02:47,104 I am going to get the whole cookie tonight. 65 00:02:47,106 --> 00:02:49,940 I'm gonna be the Cookie Monster. I'm going to Quincy Market 66 00:02:49,942 --> 00:02:52,109 to get a big bucketful of cookies from Boston Chipyard. 67 00:02:52,161 --> 00:02:56,247 Boston's own Cam Calloway, ready to down some cookies and the home team. 68 00:02:56,282 --> 00:02:57,915 Cam, we wish you well, but not tonight. 69 00:02:57,950 --> 00:02:59,917 - Thank you, Gerry. - Good to see you, Cam. 70 00:02:59,952 --> 00:03:01,952 - You, too, John. - Up next on Dennis & Callahan, 71 00:03:01,954 --> 00:03:04,705 more bodies found near Aaron Hernandez's home. 72 00:03:04,757 --> 00:03:06,957 Is he responsible? We'll discuss... 73 00:03:07,009 --> 00:03:08,959 after a word from Dunkin' Donuts. 74 00:03:13,883 --> 00:03:15,466 Good morning, baby boy. 75 00:03:15,468 --> 00:03:17,134 Missy's taking us on a field trip 76 00:03:17,186 --> 00:03:18,886 so we can learn more about Georgia. 77 00:03:18,938 --> 00:03:20,187 - Hi, Cam. - Hey, Missy. 78 00:03:20,223 --> 00:03:21,805 Come on, Mary Charles, let's go. 79 00:03:21,858 --> 00:03:23,724 Hey, look, Ma, I found another one. 80 00:03:23,776 --> 00:03:25,976 Oh, Lord, she done found another one of them damn disc jockeys. 81 00:03:25,978 --> 00:03:28,729 Lawn jockey, Ma. You know what the fuck I'm talking about. 82 00:03:28,781 --> 00:03:31,482 It's like an Easter egg hunt for bigots. 83 00:03:31,534 --> 00:03:33,033 Oh, here it goes, baby. Listen to this. 84 00:03:35,321 --> 00:03:37,238 - And another one. - Ma, are you there? 85 00:03:37,290 --> 00:03:39,240 - Felt good, didn't it? - Yeah. 86 00:03:39,292 --> 00:03:41,458 Ma, I left my lucky shorts at home. 87 00:03:41,494 --> 00:03:42,993 Lucky shorts? 88 00:03:42,995 --> 00:03:45,246 He likes to wear his high school game shorts 89 00:03:45,298 --> 00:03:47,164 underneath his grown-ass man game shorts. 90 00:03:47,166 --> 00:03:50,501 - He thinks it gives him special powers or some shit. - Ma, my shorts! 91 00:03:50,553 --> 00:03:53,420 All right, Mommy already overnighted them to you, baby. 92 00:03:53,472 --> 00:03:55,172 So they're gonna be in Boston before the game? 93 00:03:55,224 --> 00:03:57,725 - Well, what the fuck you think overnight means? - Thank you, Ma. 94 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:00,594 Wait, Cam, before you go. Make sure you and Reggie pay it forward. 95 00:04:00,646 --> 00:04:03,814 I need y'all to drop off those eight rotisserie chickens to Maybell Oliver. 96 00:04:03,849 --> 00:04:06,066 - You know her husband got laid off. - Yo, eight chickens. 97 00:04:06,102 --> 00:04:07,851 They'll take the food, but they're not gonna take the money 98 00:04:07,904 --> 00:04:09,486 - 'cause you know Tom... - Good-bye, Cam. 99 00:04:09,522 --> 00:04:10,988 Ma, eight chickens? Come on. 100 00:04:11,023 --> 00:04:12,856 How many can two people eat before they spoil? 101 00:04:12,909 --> 00:04:14,858 Have you ever heard of a fucking freezer? 102 00:04:14,860 --> 00:04:16,777 Yeah, it's where I'm gonna keep your body after I chop you up. 103 00:04:16,829 --> 00:04:18,579 Girl, I will smother you in your sleep tonight. 104 00:04:18,614 --> 00:04:20,030 - Child abuse. - Okay, just to be clear, 105 00:04:20,032 --> 00:04:21,949 you two are actually getting along right now? 106 00:04:22,001 --> 00:04:24,201 - Yeah. - All right. 107 00:04:24,253 --> 00:04:27,204 We gotta get you back for a shave and a trim at Norm's. 108 00:04:27,256 --> 00:04:28,872 Look, it's Norm. It'll mean a lot. 109 00:04:28,874 --> 00:04:31,592 Nah, I got a cold last time I got a cut from there, man. 110 00:04:31,627 --> 00:04:33,377 That place got a bad vibe for me now. 111 00:04:33,429 --> 00:04:35,763 Know what? You gotta get back in bed. Get out on a different side. 112 00:04:35,798 --> 00:04:38,048 See, my room is facing the Charles River. 113 00:04:38,050 --> 00:04:40,935 You got to change that, 'cause last time I had a room facing away from the river... 114 00:04:40,970 --> 00:04:42,553 ... shot the lights out. 115 00:04:42,555 --> 00:04:44,521 Cam, room have fuck all to do with it. 116 00:04:44,557 --> 00:04:46,724 You don't know what things got to do with other things. 117 00:04:46,776 --> 00:04:48,475 How they may or may not be connected. 118 00:04:48,527 --> 00:04:49,893 But that doesn't mean we ignore the potentials 119 00:04:49,895 --> 00:04:51,478 those things can have on other things 120 00:04:51,530 --> 00:04:53,981 and how they influence the outcome of other things. 121 00:04:54,033 --> 00:04:55,532 It's a hotel room, huh? 122 00:04:55,568 --> 00:04:57,151 What is the possible connection between 123 00:04:57,203 --> 00:04:59,286 the direction your room faces and how you play? 124 00:04:59,322 --> 00:05:01,405 - God. - Oh, we're back on God. 125 00:05:01,457 --> 00:05:03,240 Okay, you think God cares where you sleep? 126 00:05:03,242 --> 00:05:04,575 I don't care, man. I do. 127 00:05:04,627 --> 00:05:06,410 Pack up your shit, man. 128 00:05:06,412 --> 00:05:07,578 - I'll fix it. - Thank you. 129 00:05:07,630 --> 00:05:09,163 Hey, yo, fuckies. 130 00:05:09,215 --> 00:05:12,049 Oh, Dirty Paul. What's good? 131 00:05:12,084 --> 00:05:13,667 Yeah, my dick and my gat. 132 00:05:13,719 --> 00:05:15,803 - Oh. - Please keep them both in your pants. 133 00:05:15,838 --> 00:05:17,554 Hey, we still good on the floor seats? 134 00:05:17,590 --> 00:05:19,423 Yeah, yeah, they're at will-call. 7:00 P.M. tonight. 135 00:05:19,425 --> 00:05:20,891 Can I get 'em earlier so I can scalp 'em? 136 00:05:20,926 --> 00:05:22,726 You know I got kids to feed and whatnot. 137 00:05:22,762 --> 00:05:24,511 Dude, they're floor seat tickets. 138 00:05:24,563 --> 00:05:26,563 We get you floor seat tickets, you gonna scalp? 139 00:05:26,599 --> 00:05:28,182 They're worth more money. 140 00:05:28,234 --> 00:05:29,600 If you need money, I can get you. 141 00:05:29,652 --> 00:05:31,101 Who in life don't need money? 142 00:05:31,103 --> 00:05:33,020 Look, man, I ain't here for no handout. 143 00:05:33,072 --> 00:05:34,989 These fat-cat owners, they give y'all comp tickets. 144 00:05:35,024 --> 00:05:36,573 I sell 'em. Trickle-down economics. 145 00:05:36,609 --> 00:05:38,075 That's not really how it works, Dirty. 146 00:05:38,110 --> 00:05:39,777 Okay, well, when you write a book and shit, 147 00:05:39,779 --> 00:05:41,412 I'll read it and get my facts straight. 148 00:05:41,447 --> 00:05:44,415 Till then, if I go to a game, I only get a game. 149 00:05:44,450 --> 00:05:46,450 A game I can watch on TV. 150 00:05:46,452 --> 00:05:49,336 If I sell the tickets, I'll get a better TV. 151 00:05:49,372 --> 00:05:50,621 What about feeding the kids? 152 00:05:50,673 --> 00:05:52,539 I'm feeding their mind with a TV. 153 00:05:52,591 --> 00:05:55,175 We watch all that Animal Planet shit, man. 154 00:05:55,211 --> 00:05:57,344 You know there's a ton of different turtles 155 00:05:57,380 --> 00:05:59,129 in the Galapagos Islands? 156 00:05:59,181 --> 00:06:00,547 My kids do. 157 00:06:00,599 --> 00:06:02,850 Come to the game, all right? Bring your sons. 158 00:06:02,885 --> 00:06:05,135 Consider it a night out. Here. 159 00:06:05,137 --> 00:06:06,804 I got three now. 160 00:06:06,856 --> 00:06:09,189 Oh, congratulations. 161 00:06:09,225 --> 00:06:10,691 Only like two of 'em. 162 00:06:10,726 --> 00:06:12,476 The middle one a spoiled little shit. 163 00:06:12,528 --> 00:06:15,312 Hey, real talk, Cam, Reg. Thank you. 164 00:06:15,364 --> 00:06:18,449 I've been getting my shit together since things went down with Marcus. 165 00:06:18,484 --> 00:06:20,034 You a inspiration, man. 166 00:06:20,069 --> 00:06:22,069 - That's what's up. - All right, all right. 167 00:06:22,121 --> 00:06:23,654 Yeah. 168 00:06:23,656 --> 00:06:25,539 - My man. Dirty Paul. - Yeah. 169 00:06:25,574 --> 00:06:27,541 Yo, you want to fuck my sister tonight? 170 00:06:27,576 --> 00:06:29,460 Uh, I'm good. No offense to you or your sister. 171 00:06:29,495 --> 00:06:31,962 Oh, nah, none taken. She got a thing for you. 172 00:06:31,997 --> 00:06:34,998 Told me to let you know. I ain't pimping. 173 00:06:36,502 --> 00:06:38,335 I'm just glad he didn't pull a gun on us. 174 00:06:38,337 --> 00:06:40,003 - New room now, please. - New room. 175 00:06:40,005 --> 00:06:41,638 All right, all right. I'm working on it. 176 00:06:41,674 --> 00:06:43,257 - Thank you, man. - I've got you. I've got you. 177 00:06:51,350 --> 00:06:54,518 All right, pack up, Prince Harry. I got you a new room. 178 00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:57,821 Call Michael Schlow. I need a burger from Tico, medium well. 179 00:06:57,857 --> 00:07:00,524 What is with you? You need a room away from the river, 180 00:07:00,576 --> 00:07:02,159 lucky shorts, Tico burger. 181 00:07:02,194 --> 00:07:04,111 Last time I was in town, I had a Tico burger 182 00:07:04,163 --> 00:07:06,163 and I dropped 38 points on those guys. 183 00:07:06,198 --> 00:07:08,749 Cam, you were so hot, you could have dropped 38 points on a 20-foot hoop. 184 00:07:08,784 --> 00:07:11,251 Got fuck all to do with a Michael Schlow Tico burger. 185 00:07:11,287 --> 00:07:13,170 Now, I will give you the high school shorts thing. 186 00:07:13,205 --> 00:07:15,372 It's a Jordan homage. But you're going overboard. 187 00:07:15,374 --> 00:07:17,174 Next thing, you'll be making me hunt down Connie Hunter 188 00:07:17,209 --> 00:07:18,959 because she blew you when you beat Natick. 189 00:07:19,011 --> 00:07:22,045 I already Facebooked her. Didn't get no response. 190 00:07:22,047 --> 00:07:24,798 - Take me to Coach Healey. - Do you let Coach Healey blow you? 191 00:07:24,850 --> 00:07:27,301 No, but he drove 300 miles to Syracuse 192 00:07:27,353 --> 00:07:31,054 to watch me play in UNH's first ever tourney game. I killed it. 193 00:07:31,056 --> 00:07:33,891 Cam, you more than proved your worth at games Coach Healey wasn't there. 194 00:07:33,943 --> 00:07:37,194 Man, I've never slumped like this before, ever. 195 00:07:37,229 --> 00:07:38,896 I need Coach courtside. 196 00:07:38,898 --> 00:07:41,865 You will shoot your way out of this like all the greats, but fine. 197 00:07:41,901 --> 00:07:44,568 We will leave your high school basketball coach a ticket. 198 00:07:44,570 --> 00:07:47,237 Now, I gotta auction off a testicle to pay for all these tickets. 199 00:07:47,239 --> 00:07:50,741 It's all good, though. My lone testicle will just log double time. 200 00:07:50,743 --> 00:07:52,960 Let's hand-deliver it. The ticket, not your spare nut. 201 00:07:52,995 --> 00:07:54,461 Cam, we ain't got time to play Pony Express. 202 00:07:54,497 --> 00:07:56,663 You got a Boys Club appearance. You got your walk-through. 203 00:07:56,715 --> 00:07:58,882 Priorities, Reg. Coach is A number one. 204 00:07:58,918 --> 00:08:01,084 Hey, is this about what Dennis and Callahan said? 205 00:08:01,086 --> 00:08:04,471 Fuck Dennis and Callahan. Fuck Felger and Mazz, too, man. 206 00:08:04,507 --> 00:08:05,722 Fuck everybody in Boston. 207 00:08:05,758 --> 00:08:07,591 Be grateful that we moved away 208 00:08:07,643 --> 00:08:09,059 and that we only gotta be here twice a year. 209 00:08:09,094 --> 00:08:11,645 Oh, I'm grateful. I'm very grateful. 210 00:08:15,401 --> 00:08:17,684 I know people that live out here got Lyme disease. 211 00:08:17,736 --> 00:08:20,988 Don't even say that. I thought we were going to the botanical garden. 212 00:08:21,023 --> 00:08:23,657 We are. These grounds are massive. 213 00:08:23,692 --> 00:08:25,576 The plantation tour is just one part. 214 00:08:25,611 --> 00:08:28,579 ♪ I am in a cotton field ♪ 215 00:08:28,614 --> 00:08:31,615 ♪ Picking all day long ♪ 216 00:08:31,667 --> 00:08:34,668 ♪ I will work with all my might 217 00:08:34,703 --> 00:08:37,588 ♪ God has made me strong... ♪ 218 00:08:37,623 --> 00:08:40,791 Is this a musical? 219 00:08:40,843 --> 00:08:43,844 ♪ Master says he loves me so ♪ 220 00:08:43,879 --> 00:08:46,547 ♪ And I love him, too ♪ 221 00:08:46,599 --> 00:08:49,800 ♪ If my master set me free ♪ 222 00:08:49,802 --> 00:08:52,519 ♪ Don't know what I'd do ♪ 223 00:09:00,779 --> 00:09:02,813 Come on in, Julie. It's open. 224 00:09:04,733 --> 00:09:06,984 - Yo, Coach! - Coach Healey. 225 00:09:07,019 --> 00:09:10,487 - What? - Vaughn, Calloway. 226 00:09:10,539 --> 00:09:12,456 As I live and breathe. 227 00:09:12,491 --> 00:09:14,658 I thought you were my niece bringing me lunch. 228 00:09:14,710 --> 00:09:16,126 To what do I owe this pleasure? 229 00:09:16,161 --> 00:09:18,128 Back in town. Got a game tonight. 230 00:09:18,163 --> 00:09:20,380 Just taking the time to see one of our favorite people. 231 00:09:20,416 --> 00:09:24,167 Oh, I thought it was good when that new truck appeared out of the blue. 232 00:09:24,169 --> 00:09:26,637 This is even better. Can I get you something? 233 00:09:26,672 --> 00:09:28,839 Water? A Diet Coke? 234 00:09:28,891 --> 00:09:31,008 - I'm good. - Yeah, no, I'm fine. Thank you. 235 00:09:31,060 --> 00:09:33,060 - Well, sit down. - All right. 236 00:09:33,095 --> 00:09:35,229 I know you guys are probably running around, 237 00:09:35,264 --> 00:09:38,432 but it's been a couple of years since we laid eyes on each other. 238 00:09:38,484 --> 00:09:39,850 You both look great. 239 00:09:39,902 --> 00:09:41,652 Thank you, Coach, man. Feeling good. 240 00:09:41,687 --> 00:09:43,854 How's the, uh... how's the team looking this year, Coach? 241 00:09:43,906 --> 00:09:46,073 Ah, no longer coaching high school basketball. 242 00:09:46,108 --> 00:09:48,275 Moved on to the next chapter. 243 00:09:48,327 --> 00:09:50,827 It's time I focus on the things I've been neglecting, you know? 244 00:09:50,863 --> 00:09:53,580 Like being home, work on myself for once. 245 00:09:53,616 --> 00:09:56,083 How's Mrs. H, man? We'd love to say hey. 246 00:09:56,118 --> 00:09:58,835 Ah, she left me a couple of months ago. 247 00:10:00,789 --> 00:10:04,124 Cammy boy, hey, you're putting some muscle on. 248 00:10:04,176 --> 00:10:06,126 Look at you. You're like a superhero. 249 00:10:06,178 --> 00:10:08,679 Yeah, I've been Captain Bricks lately. 250 00:10:08,714 --> 00:10:12,683 You just remember that gorgeous follow-through of yours. 251 00:10:12,718 --> 00:10:15,519 Shoulders square, wrist loose, 252 00:10:15,554 --> 00:10:18,388 real smooth like this. 253 00:10:18,390 --> 00:10:21,892 You do that tonight, Boston doesn't stand a chance against you. 254 00:10:21,894 --> 00:10:24,728 And I'll be watching as I always do. 255 00:10:24,780 --> 00:10:27,397 Got the cable full season league package. 256 00:10:29,151 --> 00:10:31,401 Tonight, Coach, you're gonna watch courtside. 257 00:10:31,403 --> 00:10:34,821 Oh, Cam, that's so sweet of you, really. 258 00:10:34,873 --> 00:10:36,290 But I can't. I got plans. 259 00:10:36,325 --> 00:10:38,408 Change 'em, man. I need you there. 260 00:10:38,410 --> 00:10:41,745 Maybe next time. I know you guys got places to be, 261 00:10:41,797 --> 00:10:44,915 so I'm gonna let you go, but I really appreciate the gesture. 262 00:10:44,967 --> 00:10:47,668 Love to have you at this game, Coach. 263 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:52,339 Give me notice next time and I'll clear my calendar, but tonight no can do. 264 00:10:52,391 --> 00:10:56,093 Hey, I'm so happy you fellas stopped by. You know I love you guys. 265 00:10:56,145 --> 00:10:58,428 - Hey, it's our pleasure, Coach. - All right, take care. 266 00:10:58,430 --> 00:11:00,147 - Let's go. - And, Cam. 267 00:11:00,182 --> 00:11:03,183 I'm proud of you. Keep the faith. 268 00:11:05,604 --> 00:11:07,571 Yeah, Co... yep. 269 00:11:07,606 --> 00:11:08,939 All right. Okay. 270 00:11:10,943 --> 00:11:12,409 Damn. 271 00:11:19,952 --> 00:11:22,586 This truck hasn't moved since we had it delivered. 272 00:11:22,621 --> 00:11:25,172 Yo, that means he's been like that for five months. 273 00:11:25,207 --> 00:11:27,507 Yeah, you don't swell like that in five months, man. 274 00:11:27,543 --> 00:11:30,594 That's gotta be five years of just eating like shit and saying fuck it. 275 00:11:30,629 --> 00:11:33,213 I sent him a ticket last year when I was on Memphis. 276 00:11:33,265 --> 00:11:35,298 - He didn't come then. - And now we know why. 277 00:11:35,351 --> 00:11:37,267 Listen, there's nothing that we can do right now. 278 00:11:37,302 --> 00:11:39,803 - Let's go, Cam. - I feel horrible, man. 279 00:11:39,805 --> 00:11:41,355 - You know what? - Say a prayer. God's got it. 280 00:11:41,390 --> 00:11:44,141 What plans could Coach possibly have? 281 00:11:44,193 --> 00:11:46,143 My guess... dinner plans. 282 00:11:46,195 --> 00:11:48,445 Hey, hey, come on. Don't do that. That's not cool. 283 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:50,864 All right, this is Coach we talking about, a man in need. 284 00:11:50,899 --> 00:11:54,067 Coach is not a man who's deprived himself of anything lately. 285 00:11:54,119 --> 00:11:56,203 He helped make me who I am, Reg. 286 00:11:56,238 --> 00:11:58,905 Cam, we got 36 more hours before we gotta leave town. 287 00:11:58,957 --> 00:12:00,991 We cannot help what is wrong with Coach. 288 00:12:00,993 --> 00:12:04,077 Okay? Now look, has he gotten big? Yes. Hell, he's enormous. 289 00:12:04,129 --> 00:12:05,796 But it's not like it was some freak accident. 290 00:12:05,831 --> 00:12:07,998 Not like he tripped and then he fell into a giant milk shake. 291 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:11,084 I mean, that, what you saw right there, man, that's deliberate action. 292 00:12:11,136 --> 00:12:13,420 Aided and abetted by some niece named Julie. 293 00:12:13,472 --> 00:12:16,840 Now we got shit to do and that shit is not on our to-do list today. 294 00:12:16,892 --> 00:12:19,509 That's not shit. That's Coach. 295 00:12:19,561 --> 00:12:21,678 Out of work, divorced. 296 00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:24,848 We're all a couple of tough breaks away from being in the exact same place. 297 00:12:24,900 --> 00:12:27,684 There isn't enough space to be in the same place as Coach. 298 00:12:27,686 --> 00:12:30,103 - Stop with the jokes, Reg. - Okay. 299 00:12:30,155 --> 00:12:32,689 Let's get him to the game, man. Lift his spirits. 300 00:12:32,691 --> 00:12:35,158 Got a forklift for his spirits? 301 00:12:35,194 --> 00:12:37,160 I'm sorry, Cam, but he doesn't want to go. 302 00:12:37,196 --> 00:12:38,779 He doesn't think he can go. 303 00:12:38,831 --> 00:12:40,447 I'm not gonna turn my back on Coach. 304 00:12:40,499 --> 00:12:42,199 He would never turn his back on me. 305 00:12:42,201 --> 00:12:44,584 He can't turn his back on you or anyone else 306 00:12:44,620 --> 00:12:46,920 because he physically can't turn his back. 307 00:12:46,955 --> 00:12:48,538 And that's not your fault. 308 00:12:48,540 --> 00:12:50,540 That's the fault of some niece named Julie 309 00:12:50,592 --> 00:12:53,093 and whoever else kept feeding him until he couldn't stand up anymore. 310 00:12:53,128 --> 00:12:55,262 You didn't dig that ditch. You didn't make him fat. 311 00:12:55,297 --> 00:12:57,631 - And you did not make him fatter. - I can still help him out. 312 00:12:57,683 --> 00:12:59,516 I can get him out of that ditch. 313 00:12:59,551 --> 00:13:01,218 He's the only one that I want there, man. 314 00:13:01,220 --> 00:13:03,637 Fuck everybody else in this town. 315 00:13:03,689 --> 00:13:05,222 Get him to the game. 316 00:13:05,224 --> 00:13:07,390 I'd have to remove a wall to do that, Cam. 317 00:13:07,392 --> 00:13:10,193 Do what you gotta do, but get him to the game. 318 00:13:12,898 --> 00:13:15,532 Fucking sugar and carbs. 319 00:13:15,567 --> 00:13:17,784 God! 320 00:13:24,576 --> 00:13:27,160 So do you think real slaves sang like that? 321 00:13:27,212 --> 00:13:29,212 Because those fake slaves were getting down. 322 00:13:29,248 --> 00:13:30,997 I mean, they sounded like K-Ci & JoJo. 323 00:13:31,049 --> 00:13:32,883 Who cares, Ma? This place is racist. 324 00:13:32,918 --> 00:13:34,634 What, planet Earth? Come on, grow up. 325 00:13:34,670 --> 00:13:37,838 History wasn't pretty. But if bad history isn't shared, 326 00:13:37,890 --> 00:13:39,306 bad history will repeat itself. 327 00:13:39,341 --> 00:13:41,258 Bad history does not need to be reenacted. 328 00:13:41,260 --> 00:13:43,009 I don't see no fake Jews at Auschwitz 329 00:13:43,061 --> 00:13:44,511 singing "we love taking showers." 330 00:13:44,563 --> 00:13:46,930 Well, I think that having actors portray slaves, 331 00:13:46,932 --> 00:13:48,815 living, breathing people in front of us, 332 00:13:48,851 --> 00:13:50,734 reminds us that slavery was real. 333 00:13:50,769 --> 00:13:51,935 Who needs reminding? 334 00:13:51,937 --> 00:13:53,186 That one slave had capped teeth. 335 00:13:53,238 --> 00:13:54,571 Took me right out of it. 336 00:13:54,606 --> 00:13:57,157 Good afternoon, fine people. 337 00:13:57,192 --> 00:13:59,109 My name is Hazel-Fay Watney, 338 00:13:59,111 --> 00:14:01,027 wife to Timothy Watney. 339 00:14:01,079 --> 00:14:03,747 And welcome to our working plantation. 340 00:14:03,782 --> 00:14:06,583 Are there any questions before the tour begins? Yes? 341 00:14:06,618 --> 00:14:09,836 Yes, how many times a day do you think what a horrible person you are? 342 00:14:09,872 --> 00:14:12,005 Oh, we are a Christian family. 343 00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:13,623 I attend church every Sunday. 344 00:14:13,625 --> 00:14:16,126 We read the Bible and repent when we sin. 345 00:14:16,178 --> 00:14:17,627 You must be repenting all day. 346 00:14:17,679 --> 00:14:20,380 The architecture is interesting. 347 00:14:20,432 --> 00:14:22,132 Can you speak about house design? 348 00:14:22,134 --> 00:14:26,052 Oh, yes, we built this house in 1841. 349 00:14:26,104 --> 00:14:28,972 By "we," you mean a bunch of human beings at the end of your whip. 350 00:14:28,974 --> 00:14:32,192 Oh, pure, hardworking, wonderful people 351 00:14:32,227 --> 00:14:34,477 assisted in the building of this plantation 352 00:14:34,530 --> 00:14:37,480 and we are very grateful for their tireless work. 353 00:14:37,482 --> 00:14:40,483 And, well, we certainly couldn't have done it without them. 354 00:14:40,536 --> 00:14:42,402 Can you list their birthdays 355 00:14:42,454 --> 00:14:44,204 or do you celebrate their auction dates? 356 00:14:44,239 --> 00:14:47,624 Oh, they celebrate their lives every day 357 00:14:47,659 --> 00:14:49,543 through camaraderie and song. 358 00:14:49,578 --> 00:14:51,828 You do realize this whole owning slave thing 359 00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:53,713 doesn't end well for you, yes? 360 00:14:53,749 --> 00:14:56,666 Summers are notoriously hot on the plantation, 361 00:14:56,668 --> 00:15:00,587 and the only thing sought after more than our precious tobacco 362 00:15:00,639 --> 00:15:02,923 is a nice cool glass of ice tea. 363 00:15:02,975 --> 00:15:06,760 Now, then, I would love to invite you into our kitchen 364 00:15:06,812 --> 00:15:09,012 to show you how the meals were prepared. 365 00:15:09,014 --> 00:15:11,598 Are there any other questions? 366 00:15:11,650 --> 00:15:14,684 - No? Okay. - Hey, excuse me. I'm raising my hand. 367 00:15:14,736 --> 00:15:17,520 Can you not see it? I've got the light-skinned side toward you. 368 00:15:17,573 --> 00:15:20,073 Listen, would you please let Tinker Bell do the tour? 369 00:15:20,108 --> 00:15:21,441 Okay? I'm trying to take pictures. 370 00:15:21,493 --> 00:15:23,526 Nah, Ma, I'm gonna go jump in an Uber 371 00:15:23,528 --> 00:15:26,863 and let some old white man reverse Driving Miss M-Chuck me home. 372 00:15:26,915 --> 00:15:28,865 Come on, Mary Charles. 373 00:15:30,202 --> 00:15:32,285 Mary Charles! 374 00:15:32,337 --> 00:15:35,338 Uber doesn't even come out on plantations. 375 00:15:35,374 --> 00:15:37,040 Cam, I am at the front door. 376 00:15:37,092 --> 00:15:38,875 It's the address that you gave me. 377 00:15:38,877 --> 00:15:41,044 Look, I'll knock one more time and then I gotta go. 378 00:15:41,096 --> 00:15:42,712 Bye. 379 00:15:42,714 --> 00:15:45,298 Hey. Hey, Maybell, listen, I'm not trying to break in. 380 00:15:45,350 --> 00:15:46,850 I just want to leave you some chickens. 381 00:15:46,885 --> 00:15:50,270 I will pay to take out a door, a wall, hell, the whole roof. 382 00:15:50,305 --> 00:15:53,556 I just gotta get this really fat guy out. 383 00:15:55,644 --> 00:15:58,278 Hey, hey. I don't mean to bother you, 384 00:15:58,313 --> 00:16:00,981 but what do you got going on later on today? 385 00:16:03,201 --> 00:16:06,236 Cam, I'm at the arena. I'm waiting on the guy in charge here. 386 00:16:06,238 --> 00:16:08,571 I'm trying to get Coach situated, okay? 387 00:16:08,624 --> 00:16:10,573 - You must be the guy looking to talk to me. - I gotta go. 388 00:16:10,626 --> 00:16:12,459 - I gotta go. Yeah. - I'm Joe Connelly. I'm in charge. 389 00:16:12,494 --> 00:16:14,044 What's this shit show you're trying to put 390 00:16:14,079 --> 00:16:15,245 this arena through as a favor to you? 391 00:16:15,247 --> 00:16:16,830 My cousin Cam plays for Atlanta. 392 00:16:16,882 --> 00:16:19,299 - I don't give a fuck. - No, I'm just trying to explain. 393 00:16:19,334 --> 00:16:21,418 Details that help will help. Details that don't won't. 394 00:16:21,470 --> 00:16:24,004 And for your information, this is not Atlanta. It's Boston. 395 00:16:24,056 --> 00:16:26,556 I know. And, yeah... and my cousin is from Boston. 396 00:16:26,591 --> 00:16:28,308 - Where exactly? - Dorchester. 397 00:16:28,343 --> 00:16:30,427 Dorchester's Dorchester and Boston's Boston. 398 00:16:30,479 --> 00:16:32,228 It's got two different names. You know why? 399 00:16:32,264 --> 00:16:33,563 'Cause it's two different places. 400 00:16:33,598 --> 00:16:35,148 Fucking Magellan over here 401 00:16:35,183 --> 00:16:36,766 thinks Dorchester is Boston proper. 402 00:16:40,605 --> 00:16:42,856 Dorchester is Boston's biggest neighborhood. 403 00:16:42,908 --> 00:16:44,357 What, are you Boston.gov? 404 00:16:44,409 --> 00:16:45,942 For your information, when people from Dorchester 405 00:16:45,994 --> 00:16:48,361 are asked where they're from, they say Dorchester. 406 00:16:48,413 --> 00:16:50,830 They don't start with Boston and then say Dorchester. 407 00:16:50,866 --> 00:16:53,583 Well, I'm from the Dorchester part of Boston, okay? 408 00:16:53,618 --> 00:16:57,504 And I just need a little help getting a very large man here for tonight's game. 409 00:16:57,539 --> 00:17:00,123 How very large? Like those two fat twins 410 00:17:00,175 --> 00:17:02,175 on the mini bikes in the Guinness Book of Records? 411 00:17:02,210 --> 00:17:04,627 Or that fat fucking lard-ass they buried in a piano coffin? 412 00:17:04,629 --> 00:17:06,963 - More like the piano one. - I'm in charge of this arena, 413 00:17:07,015 --> 00:17:09,432 not the liposuction unit at the Mass General Hospital 414 00:17:09,468 --> 00:17:11,851 where it sounds like your Coach Piano Case needs to be. 415 00:17:13,972 --> 00:17:16,139 Okay, look, I know this, uh... this request 416 00:17:16,141 --> 00:17:18,808 is a little larger than your average pain in the ass, 417 00:17:18,810 --> 00:17:20,643 so I asked around 418 00:17:20,645 --> 00:17:23,480 and I found out what you like to drink. 419 00:17:23,532 --> 00:17:25,448 Who'd you ask, one of my enemies from Belfast? 420 00:17:25,484 --> 00:17:27,951 Belfast? I... look, man, I... 421 00:17:27,986 --> 00:17:30,487 - that's a 21-year-old bottle. - Yeah, Bushmills. 422 00:17:30,489 --> 00:17:32,155 You know, you got balls as big as church bells 423 00:17:32,157 --> 00:17:34,074 coming in here trying to bribe me with proddy whiskey. 424 00:17:34,126 --> 00:17:35,492 Is that not Irish whiskey? 425 00:17:35,544 --> 00:17:37,794 That's alcohol made in Northern Ireland. 426 00:17:37,829 --> 00:17:39,829 The label says Irish whiskey. 427 00:17:39,831 --> 00:17:42,832 Yeah, because if it said Northern Irish whiskey, no one would buy it. 428 00:17:42,834 --> 00:17:44,751 I thought Irish whiskey was Irish whiskey. 429 00:17:44,803 --> 00:17:47,470 You think like most racists. 430 00:17:47,506 --> 00:17:49,589 You think Northern Ireland is the same as regular Ireland. 431 00:17:49,641 --> 00:17:51,674 And you think that Irish people only speak English 432 00:17:51,676 --> 00:17:53,927 as opposed to their own fucking language that was stolen from them. 433 00:17:53,979 --> 00:17:55,678 And you don't know that a part of Ireland 434 00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:57,814 is an occupied country separated from its true self 435 00:17:57,849 --> 00:17:59,682 and that drinking that Protestant whiskey 436 00:17:59,735 --> 00:18:02,235 is one of the most self-hating things an Irishman can do. 437 00:18:02,270 --> 00:18:04,487 I'm Catholic. I drink Jameson. 438 00:18:04,523 --> 00:18:06,356 I didn't think any of these things 439 00:18:06,358 --> 00:18:09,692 because I have no idea what any of them mean, no offense. 440 00:18:09,745 --> 00:18:11,611 - Who are you again? - I'm C... 441 00:18:11,663 --> 00:18:14,414 - I'm Cam Calloway's cousin. - I still don't give a fuck. 442 00:18:14,449 --> 00:18:17,000 You know, he repped this area when he took St. McGuire to state's. 443 00:18:17,035 --> 00:18:19,586 I went to Holy Name and we hate you St. McGuire cunts. 444 00:18:19,621 --> 00:18:21,254 Bunch of cunty, conceited pricks 445 00:18:21,289 --> 00:18:23,623 who we used to kick the fucking shit out of in hockey. 446 00:18:23,675 --> 00:18:25,291 And I happen to be the captain 447 00:18:25,343 --> 00:18:27,877 of the 1983 Division III championship team. 448 00:18:27,929 --> 00:18:30,880 Well, congratulations. Listen, I just need a comfortable place 449 00:18:30,882 --> 00:18:33,299 for his old coach to sit and watch the game. 450 00:18:33,351 --> 00:18:35,385 I got an idea. How about at home in his bed? 451 00:18:35,437 --> 00:18:38,388 And maybe the bed next to that one and the bed next to that one? 452 00:18:42,561 --> 00:18:44,277 Are there any handicapped seats? 453 00:18:44,312 --> 00:18:47,564 Yeah, for handicapped people. Those who God or misfortune fucked up. 454 00:18:47,616 --> 00:18:49,732 Not for those who Fluffernuttered themself into oblivion. 455 00:18:49,734 --> 00:18:51,701 I know that you can do this. 456 00:18:51,736 --> 00:18:53,870 So, please, you tell me what you want from me, 457 00:18:53,905 --> 00:18:55,989 because I desperately need to get this done. 458 00:18:56,041 --> 00:18:58,074 Finally a five-letter word we can understand. 459 00:18:58,076 --> 00:18:59,459 Please. 460 00:18:59,494 --> 00:19:02,295 There's six letters in please. I just... 461 00:19:02,330 --> 00:19:04,414 - You busting my balls? - I'm just... 462 00:19:04,466 --> 00:19:06,416 I fucking love it. Come on, Dorchester. 463 00:19:07,752 --> 00:19:09,669 Come on, we'll help you out. 464 00:19:09,721 --> 00:19:11,387 Hey, fuckballs, this is Joe. 465 00:19:11,423 --> 00:19:13,423 Listen, I want Johnny, Tommy, Mark, Brendan, 466 00:19:13,425 --> 00:19:15,475 Kevin, Connor, Tommy B, 467 00:19:15,510 --> 00:19:18,678 Liam, and Tom Welch in my office right now. 468 00:19:18,730 --> 00:19:21,097 - Oh, yeah, and bring Jamal. - He's one of your guys. 469 00:19:25,937 --> 00:19:29,355 Well, well, well. If it isn't Mr. Shuck and Mr. Jive. 470 00:19:29,407 --> 00:19:31,858 I'm just wondering when you two bumped your fucking heads 471 00:19:31,910 --> 00:19:33,943 and decided to lose your sense of black pride. 472 00:19:33,995 --> 00:19:37,664 How did these fucking crackers get you two to do this minstrel show? 473 00:19:37,699 --> 00:19:39,415 I'm trying to pay off my truck. 474 00:19:39,451 --> 00:19:40,867 I got four kids. 475 00:19:40,919 --> 00:19:42,702 You're gonna be a great role model for them, 476 00:19:42,754 --> 00:19:44,170 I want you to know that. 477 00:19:44,206 --> 00:19:46,289 Hey, dudes, break's over. 478 00:19:46,341 --> 00:19:48,041 Chantell needs you back at the livery. 479 00:19:48,093 --> 00:19:52,428 Yeah, back to it. You should be real proud of yourselves. 480 00:19:52,464 --> 00:19:54,797 And you, taking a break from spreading hate? 481 00:19:54,850 --> 00:19:57,967 I get it. You're offended, okay? It is what it is. 482 00:19:57,969 --> 00:20:00,019 No, what it isn't is cool. 483 00:20:00,055 --> 00:20:02,138 You know what? I'm an actor, okay? 484 00:20:02,190 --> 00:20:03,523 My agent got me this gig. 485 00:20:03,558 --> 00:20:05,475 Somebody's got to play the villain. 486 00:20:05,527 --> 00:20:07,560 Do you hate the guy who played Darth Vader? 487 00:20:07,612 --> 00:20:11,281 Hey, that guy is James Earl Jones. 488 00:20:11,316 --> 00:20:13,316 He is a national treasure. 489 00:20:13,368 --> 00:20:15,535 And that movie is Star Wars. 490 00:20:15,570 --> 00:20:17,654 It's... it's fiction. It's for kids. 491 00:20:17,706 --> 00:20:19,873 This thing here, it's like you're... 492 00:20:19,908 --> 00:20:22,292 it's like you're making slavery into Disneyland. 493 00:20:22,327 --> 00:20:25,495 Look, you know what? I'm not crazy about this gig, okay? 494 00:20:25,547 --> 00:20:27,797 But I'm trying. 495 00:20:27,832 --> 00:20:31,134 Why would you take this gig if you're not crazy about it? 496 00:20:31,169 --> 00:20:33,553 I've got student loans I gotta pay off. 497 00:20:33,588 --> 00:20:36,472 I was up in New York trying to be an actor. 498 00:20:36,508 --> 00:20:38,508 My dad shoots himself in the face. 499 00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:41,177 I gotta come back here, take care of him. 500 00:20:41,179 --> 00:20:44,981 He says he was just cleaning his gun. I don't believe him. 501 00:20:45,016 --> 00:20:47,150 Now half of his jaw is missing. 502 00:20:49,104 --> 00:20:51,321 Fuck. 503 00:20:51,356 --> 00:20:53,022 Sorry. 504 00:20:56,528 --> 00:20:59,362 What are you listening to? 505 00:20:59,414 --> 00:21:00,697 Indigo Girls. 506 00:21:00,749 --> 00:21:03,283 Which album? 507 00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:06,369 You're gonna rip apart my house 508 00:21:06,421 --> 00:21:08,588 and tow me eight miles to go to a basketball game? 509 00:21:08,623 --> 00:21:10,423 5.3 up 93 North. 510 00:21:10,458 --> 00:21:13,343 Coach, I can't tell you how much your support meant to me. 511 00:21:13,378 --> 00:21:15,795 Forklifts, cranes, pulleys, tarps, 512 00:21:15,847 --> 00:21:18,047 flatbed trucks... are you out of your mind? 513 00:21:18,099 --> 00:21:19,632 A stunt like that could kill me. 514 00:21:19,684 --> 00:21:21,100 I'm trying to help you, Coach. 515 00:21:21,136 --> 00:21:23,636 You want to help me? Well, get some bridge cable 516 00:21:23,688 --> 00:21:25,772 and build me a zip line to the shitter. 517 00:21:25,807 --> 00:21:28,891 Coach, I understand that life has knocked you down, 518 00:21:28,944 --> 00:21:30,526 but you don't gotta stay there. 519 00:21:30,562 --> 00:21:32,278 You'll see how much you inspire me, man, 520 00:21:32,314 --> 00:21:36,232 and it'll all come back how great of a person you are. 521 00:21:36,234 --> 00:21:38,568 Cam, bring it in. 522 00:21:38,620 --> 00:21:39,902 Excuse me. 523 00:21:39,955 --> 00:21:42,739 I was your high school basketball coach. 524 00:21:42,791 --> 00:21:45,124 And honestly, a mediocre one at best. 525 00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,910 I didn't do anything for you that any other coach wouldn't have done. 526 00:21:47,963 --> 00:21:49,879 You started me my sophomore year. 527 00:21:49,914 --> 00:21:51,965 Because you were quicker, stronger, 528 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,883 and better than anyone else on the team. 529 00:21:53,918 --> 00:21:55,301 That's not called being a great coach. 530 00:21:55,337 --> 00:21:57,503 That's called not being a fucking idiot. 531 00:21:57,555 --> 00:22:00,089 Coach, you gotta change up your life, man. 532 00:22:00,091 --> 00:22:01,808 And change is not coming in this bed. 533 00:22:01,843 --> 00:22:04,260 I need you. 534 00:22:04,262 --> 00:22:07,513 I've never slumped like this before ever on any level. 535 00:22:07,565 --> 00:22:08,931 You're my good luck charm. 536 00:22:08,933 --> 00:22:11,934 Cam, this fixating on me being a solution 537 00:22:11,936 --> 00:22:14,020 to all your woes means one thing. 538 00:22:14,072 --> 00:22:16,739 You're depressed. You gotta look into it. 539 00:22:16,775 --> 00:22:18,107 You gotta check it out for yourself. 540 00:22:18,109 --> 00:22:20,526 I'm good. I got all I need. 541 00:22:20,578 --> 00:22:22,278 You're here, man. 542 00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:24,447 You're alone, immobile. 543 00:22:24,499 --> 00:22:27,617 I'm not alone. I got a niece that comes by to visit, 544 00:22:27,619 --> 00:22:29,335 brings me food, helps me out. 545 00:22:29,371 --> 00:22:31,287 I got great DSL service. 546 00:22:31,289 --> 00:22:34,123 You know, Netflix. Watch a ton of documentaries. 547 00:22:34,125 --> 00:22:36,125 I got great social network friends. 548 00:22:36,177 --> 00:22:38,845 I'm taking online courses from the University of Phoenix. 549 00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:41,514 I got my Sudoku. I got word search. 550 00:22:41,549 --> 00:22:43,966 I'm blessed. 551 00:22:44,019 --> 00:22:45,968 Maybe I was born to be this way. 552 00:22:46,021 --> 00:22:49,389 Are you just gonna stand there and be useless? 553 00:22:49,441 --> 00:22:52,975 You got any idea what I've been through in the last six hours for you? 554 00:22:53,028 --> 00:22:55,645 This is what matters. Help me. 555 00:22:55,697 --> 00:22:57,647 - You want me to help you? - Yeah! 556 00:22:57,649 --> 00:23:00,316 Okay, how about I put a gun to his head, 557 00:23:00,368 --> 00:23:02,735 I drag him out of bed and I'll roll him to the game myself 558 00:23:02,787 --> 00:23:04,704 just so he can be your good luck Buddha. 559 00:23:04,739 --> 00:23:06,239 This ain't about Coach. 560 00:23:06,291 --> 00:23:08,658 This is about you needing to not fold under the pressure 561 00:23:08,660 --> 00:23:10,626 because this pressure is the job. 562 00:23:10,662 --> 00:23:12,161 So nut up and deal with it, 563 00:23:12,213 --> 00:23:14,831 'cause it ain't going anywhere anytime soon. 564 00:23:14,833 --> 00:23:16,466 Excuse me, Reggie. 565 00:23:16,501 --> 00:23:19,585 Would you do me a favor and pass me my cistern? 566 00:23:19,637 --> 00:23:20,720 Your what? 567 00:23:20,755 --> 00:23:23,089 My piss jug. 568 00:23:27,479 --> 00:23:29,979 I'm gonna need a minute. 569 00:23:30,014 --> 00:23:32,181 But I'm also gonna need a hand. 570 00:23:55,507 --> 00:23:57,457 How much underwear is under here? 571 00:23:57,509 --> 00:23:59,175 A lot. 572 00:24:00,628 --> 00:24:03,212 Better be worth it. 573 00:24:03,264 --> 00:24:05,381 It is. 574 00:24:08,303 --> 00:24:11,304 Gerry, Cam Calloway struggled big time last night. 575 00:24:11,356 --> 00:24:14,223 Four of 20 from the floor, a measly 10 points. 576 00:24:14,225 --> 00:24:16,476 Boston handily beats Atlanta at home. 577 00:24:16,528 --> 00:24:18,694 - Should have had more cookies. - Maybe a lot more cookies. 578 00:24:18,730 --> 00:24:21,230 This kid's in a slump. He's been in a slump for a long time. 579 00:24:21,282 --> 00:24:23,399 I'm almost starting to feel sorry for him. 580 00:24:23,451 --> 00:24:25,118 He's thinking too much. It's all in his head. He's like... 581 00:24:27,238 --> 00:24:28,738 Yo. 582 00:24:30,241 --> 00:24:33,075 Yo, how does Mom not know what overnight is? 583 00:24:33,077 --> 00:24:35,077 She two-dayed these fucking things. 584 00:24:35,079 --> 00:24:36,996 Man, if I would have had them for the game... 585 00:24:37,048 --> 00:24:39,298 Hey, you know what? Maybe my mind is playing tricks on me, 586 00:24:39,334 --> 00:24:43,252 but a few weeks ago, I thought I heard you say that you were a grown-ass man. 587 00:24:43,254 --> 00:24:44,720 - Yeah? - Aw, man. 588 00:24:44,756 --> 00:24:46,923 And then a few months before that, all you talked about 589 00:24:46,925 --> 00:24:49,392 was how you wanted to carry a team on your shoulders. 590 00:24:49,427 --> 00:24:52,345 You're acting like a child, Cam. 591 00:24:52,397 --> 00:24:54,397 Can't even carry yourself. Now, listen. 592 00:24:54,432 --> 00:24:57,400 I'll keep doing it. All your weak-minded, 593 00:24:57,435 --> 00:25:00,937 piddly-ass, peccadillo, superstitious bullshit, I will. 594 00:25:00,989 --> 00:25:02,438 But what saddens me the most 595 00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:04,607 is that you keep asking me to do it. 596 00:25:04,659 --> 00:25:07,109 Because it means that you ain't growing. 597 00:25:07,162 --> 00:25:10,029 And all this... all this drama that you create, man, 598 00:25:10,081 --> 00:25:12,615 you don't even realize, but it is beneath you. 599 00:25:16,204 --> 00:25:18,788 So who you gonna be, Cam? 600 00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:20,590 'Cause you're better than this. 601 00:25:30,635 --> 00:25:32,552 Fine. 602 00:25:32,604 --> 00:25:34,353 Get rid of them. 603 00:25:35,473 --> 00:25:37,106 Will do. 604 00:25:40,228 --> 00:25:42,228 Yo, Coach needs surgery. Set it up. 605 00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:46,732 Do you know how much lipo has to be suctioned out of that man? 606 00:25:46,784 --> 00:25:48,701 I mean, that's just a lot of lipo. 607 00:25:48,736 --> 00:25:51,370 Man, I don't care about that. 608 00:25:52,490 --> 00:25:53,873 Fucking Boston. 609 00:25:57,629 --> 00:25:59,495 Remember, kids, this is living history, 610 00:25:59,547 --> 00:26:01,664 so the people you see are reenacting what life 611 00:26:01,716 --> 00:26:03,583 would have been like before the Civil War. 612 00:26:06,471 --> 00:26:07,637 Ahem! 613 00:26:10,058 --> 00:26:12,308 Oh. Good mornin'. 614 00:26:12,343 --> 00:26:15,595 Welcome to the Watney Plantation. 615 00:26:15,647 --> 00:26:17,680 Uh, this is my... 616 00:26:17,732 --> 00:26:19,265 Friend. Mary Charles. 617 00:26:19,317 --> 00:26:21,100 And, uh, we were just... 618 00:26:21,152 --> 00:26:23,152 We were having a sleepover, kids. 619 00:26:23,187 --> 00:26:26,188 It's kinda hot. 620 00:26:26,190 --> 00:26:28,241 - Okay, let's go. - Are they lesbians? 621 00:26:28,276 --> 00:26:30,610 - You'll learn about that in the eighth grade. - Okay. 622 00:26:32,947 --> 00:26:34,747 Go. 623 00:26:39,704 --> 00:26:42,255 - I'm so fired. - Good. 624 00:26:42,290 --> 00:26:47,290 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -