1
00:00:08,141 --> 00:00:09,574
Yo, Marcus, it's Dirty.
2
00:00:09,609 --> 00:00:11,736
How 'bout you open the door,
I'll fuck you up,
3
00:00:11,778 --> 00:00:12,767
and then I'll fuck off?
4
00:00:13,813 --> 00:00:16,714
2K Marcus owes you plus ten.
That's five for you, Dirty.
5
00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:18,980
Hey, the truck
will be delivered tomorrow.
6
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,316
Just bought Coach Healey a truck.
7
00:00:20,353 --> 00:00:25,290
Cam, some in the media are calling you
a "P" word that rhymes with wussy.
8
00:00:25,325 --> 00:00:28,556
- How do you respond?
- I'm a good person who has value.
9
00:00:28,595 --> 00:00:30,893
You mind if I get rid of
this lawn decoration
10
00:00:30,930 --> 00:00:32,625
that the previous owners
left behind?
11
00:00:32,665 --> 00:00:34,155
Uh-uh, that might be
worth some money.
12
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,327
- Oh...
- Oh!
13
00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:37,597
You gotta do two things.
14
00:00:37,637 --> 00:00:40,470
One... drastically limit
what annoys you.
15
00:00:40,507 --> 00:00:43,965
And two... stop saying things like
"I'm a grown-ass man."
16
00:00:44,010 --> 00:00:46,103
All it does is tell people you're not.
17
00:00:46,146 --> 00:00:49,582
(music playing)
18
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,442
(buzzer sounds)
19
00:00:52,485 --> 00:00:54,953
Welcome back to
"Dennis and Callahan."
20
00:00:54,988 --> 00:00:58,389
We are thrilled to have a special guest
live in the studio today.
21
00:00:58,425 --> 00:01:01,485
He's an old friend,
he's Boston-born, he's Boston-bred.
22
00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:03,120
Cam Calloway back in the Hub
23
00:01:03,163 --> 00:01:05,222
for his first big game
against the old town team.
24
00:01:05,265 --> 00:01:06,857
John, Gerry, get to be in Boston.
25
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,800
Cam Calloway...
good kid, local kid.
26
00:01:08,835 --> 00:01:11,065
The pride of Saint McGuire's
in Dorchester.
27
00:01:11,104 --> 00:01:14,164
- You must hate Atlanta.
- I love Atlanta, Gerry.
28
00:01:14,207 --> 00:01:16,232
Sure, when they signed you
to that contract.
29
00:01:16,276 --> 00:01:19,006
But the team's 4-11,
you got beat up by your sister,
30
00:01:19,045 --> 00:01:21,411
- and then you lied about it.
- Jeez, Gerry, I would've lied, too.
31
00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:23,416
- She can fucking punch.
- You can bleep that, right?
32
00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:25,748
And then he made these
appalling PSAs
33
00:01:25,785 --> 00:01:28,083
where a lot of people thought
he was mocking domestic violence.
34
00:01:28,121 --> 00:01:30,112
Is there any evidence
that domestic abusers
35
00:01:30,156 --> 00:01:32,181
watch a TV commercial and say,
36
00:01:32,225 --> 00:01:34,921
"You know, I was gonna coldcock
my loved one in the face,
37
00:01:34,961 --> 00:01:38,021
but then I saw Cam Calloway cry,
so maybe I won't."
38
00:01:38,064 --> 00:01:39,861
Each conversation yields education.
39
00:01:39,899 --> 00:01:42,129
How do you not throw your back out
slanging that BS?
40
00:01:42,168 --> 00:01:44,398
- I stretch, do a lot of core work.
- (laughter)
41
00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:45,802
John:
Back to Atlanta.
42
00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:47,363
This is a city that went and found
43
00:01:47,407 --> 00:01:50,501
the biggest mountain in the entire
state of Georgia, Stone Mountain,
44
00:01:50,543 --> 00:01:52,306
and decided it was
a good idea to carve
45
00:01:52,345 --> 00:01:55,644
a bunch of Confederate general's heads
on the side of that mountain.
46
00:01:55,682 --> 00:01:59,083
I don't know, Cam, to me that sounds
like a racist Mount Rushmore.
47
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:01,314
More like a Mount Racemore.
48
00:02:01,354 --> 00:02:03,788
Guys, this thing was carved
in like the 1980s.
49
00:02:03,823 --> 00:02:05,188
It wasn't like it was made last week.
50
00:02:05,225 --> 00:02:07,022
I mean, plus, they got some
pretty dope hiking trails up there.
51
00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:09,358
But Atlanta's been booing you, Cam.
52
00:02:09,395 --> 00:02:13,126
They were expecting
a Steph Curry-Kyrie Irving combination.
53
00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:14,565
And so far, they've gotten neither.
54
00:02:14,601 --> 00:02:15,898
Well, this is a long season.
55
00:02:15,935 --> 00:02:17,835
You know, narratives
have their chapters.
56
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:20,032
I let my team down
by missing six games,
57
00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:22,064
but, you know, I'm back,
and I'm ready to bear down and ball.
58
00:02:22,108 --> 00:02:24,042
John:
It's seems to me you've had one good...
59
00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:26,409
Well, I'll even grant you
great playoff run.
60
00:02:26,446 --> 00:02:29,313
Doesn't that make you
Jeremy freakin' Lin?
61
00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:32,785
A capable player
but much more hype than hoop?
62
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:35,617
Uh... when you take the big money
63
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,623
and you play badly,
you get heat.
64
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:39,716
You know, that's the way
the cookie crumbles.
65
00:02:39,759 --> 00:02:41,852
But that doubt drives me.
66
00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:43,954
I am going to get
the whole cookie tonight.
67
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,362
I'm gonna be the Cookie Monster.
68
00:02:45,398 --> 00:02:48,162
I'm going to Quincy Market to get
a big bucket full of cookies
69
00:02:48,201 --> 00:02:50,533
- from Boston Chipyard.
- Boston's own Cam Calloway,
70
00:02:50,570 --> 00:02:52,970
ready to down some cookies
and the home team.
71
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,974
Cam, we wish you well,
but not tonight.
72
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,566
- Thank you, Gerry.
- Good to see you, Cam.
73
00:02:56,609 --> 00:02:58,668
- You, too, John.
- Up next on "Dennis and Callahan,"
74
00:02:58,711 --> 00:03:01,441
more bodies found
near Aaron Hernandez home.
75
00:03:01,481 --> 00:03:02,743
Is he responsible?
76
00:03:02,782 --> 00:03:05,376
We'll discuss after brief word
from Dunkin' Donuts.
77
00:03:05,418 --> 00:03:08,546
- (music playing)
- ♪ Whoo ♪
78
00:03:10,056 --> 00:03:11,990
Good morning, baby boy.
79
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:15,483
Missy's taking us on a field trip
so we can learn more about Georgia.
80
00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:16,927
- Hi, Cam.
- Cam: Hey, Missy.
81
00:03:16,963 --> 00:03:18,521
Come on, Mary Charles, let's go!
82
00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:21,329
- Hey, look, Ma, I found another one!
- Oh, Lord, she done found
83
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:24,165
- another one of them damn disc jockeys.
- Lawn jockey, Ma.
84
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,501
You know what the fuck
I'm talking 'bout.
85
00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:28,268
It's like an Easter egg hunt
for bigots.
86
00:03:28,308 --> 00:03:30,299
- Here goes, baby, listen to this.
- (M Chuck grunting)
87
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:34,140
- And another one.
- Cam: Ma, are you there?
88
00:03:34,180 --> 00:03:35,841
- Felt good, didn't it?
- Yeah.
89
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,112
Ma, I left my lucky shorts at home.
90
00:03:38,151 --> 00:03:39,618
Lucky shorts?
91
00:03:39,652 --> 00:03:41,916
He likes to wear
his high school game shorts
92
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:44,014
underneath his grown-ass man
game shorts.
93
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:46,184
He thinks it gives him
special powers or some shit.
94
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,955
- Ma! My shorts!
- Cassie: All right!
95
00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:50,087
Mommy already
overnighted 'em to you, baby.
96
00:03:50,129 --> 00:03:52,120
So they're gonna be in Boston
before the game?
97
00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:53,757
What the fuck you think
"overnight" means?
98
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,859
- Thank you, Ma. Yo...
- Wait, Cam, before you go,
99
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,529
make sure you and Reggie
pay it forward.
100
00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:59,936
I need y'all to drop off those
eight rotisserie chickens
101
00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:02,464
to Mabel Oliver, you know,
her husband got laid off.
102
00:04:02,508 --> 00:04:03,941
- Yo, eight chickens.
- They'll take the food,
103
00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:06,241
- but they're not gonna take the money...
- Good-bye, Cam.
104
00:04:06,279 --> 00:04:07,644
Ma, eight chickens?
105
00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:09,648
Come on, how many can
two people eat before they spoil?
106
00:04:09,682 --> 00:04:11,616
Have you ever heard of
a fucking freezer?
107
00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:13,551
Yeah, it's where I'm gonna keep
your body after I chop you up.
108
00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:15,451
Cassie: Girl, I will smother you
in your sleep tonight.
109
00:04:15,488 --> 00:04:18,480
Okay, okay, just to be clear, you two
are actually getting along right now?
110
00:04:18,524 --> 00:04:21,118
- Both: Yeah.
- All right.
111
00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:23,822
We gotta get you back
for a shave and a trim at Norm's.
112
00:04:23,863 --> 00:04:25,797
Look, it's Norm,
it'll mean a lot.
113
00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:28,232
Nah, I got a cold last time
I got a cut from there, man.
114
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,361
That place got a bad vibe
for me now.
115
00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:32,735
Know what? You gotta get back in bed,
get out on a different side.
116
00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:34,797
See, my room is facing
the Charles River.
117
00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:36,502
You got to change that,
'cause last time,
118
00:04:36,542 --> 00:04:39,102
I had a room facing away from the river,
shot the lights out.
119
00:04:39,145 --> 00:04:41,113
Cam, room have fuck all
to do with it.
120
00:04:41,147 --> 00:04:43,581
You don't know what things
got to do with other things.
121
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:45,174
How they may or may not
be connected.
122
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:47,311
But that doesn't mean we ignore
the potentials those things can have
123
00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:49,913
on other things and how they influence
the outcome of other things.
124
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:52,220
It's a hotel room, huh?
125
00:04:52,258 --> 00:04:53,589
What is the possible connection
126
00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:55,890
between the direction your room faces
and how you play?
127
00:04:55,928 --> 00:04:58,522
- God.
- Oh, we're back on God, okay.
128
00:04:58,564 --> 00:05:01,226
- You think God cares where you sleep?
- I don't care, man, I do.
129
00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:04,327
- Pack up your shit, man, I'll fix it.
- Thank you.
130
00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:07,897
- Hey, yo, fuckies.
- Oh, Dirty Paul.
131
00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:10,374
- What's good?
- Yeah, my dick and my gat.
132
00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:12,605
- Oh.
- Please keep 'em both in your pants.
133
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:15,079
- Hey, we still good on the floor seats?
- Yeah, yeah, they're at will-call.
134
00:05:15,114 --> 00:05:17,708
- 7:00 p.m. Tonight.
- Think I get 'em early so I can scalp?
135
00:05:17,750 --> 00:05:19,445
You know I got kids
to feed and whatnot.
136
00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:21,112
Dude, they're floor seat tickets.
137
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,213
We... we get you floor seat tickets,
you gonna scalp 'em?
138
00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:26,282
- They're worth more money.
- If you need money, I can get you.
139
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:29,727
Who in life don't need money?
Look, man, I ain't here for no handout.
140
00:05:29,762 --> 00:05:31,889
These fat-cat owners,
they give y'all comp tickets,
141
00:05:31,931 --> 00:05:34,900
- I sell 'em, trickle-down economics.
- That's not really how it works, Dirty.
142
00:05:34,934 --> 00:05:36,595
Okay, well, when you
write a book and shit,
143
00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:38,160
I'll read it and get my facts straight.
144
00:05:38,204 --> 00:05:41,071
Till then, if I go to a game,
I only get a game.
145
00:05:41,107 --> 00:05:43,132
A game I can watch on TV.
146
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:46,043
If I sell the tickets,
I can get a better TV.
147
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:49,207
- What about feeding the kids?
- I'm feeding their mind with the TV.
148
00:05:49,248 --> 00:05:52,240
We watch all that
Animal Planet shit, man.
149
00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:55,948
You know there's a ton of different
turtles in the Galapagos Islands?
150
00:05:55,988 --> 00:05:58,513
- My kids do.
- Come to the game, all right?
151
00:05:58,558 --> 00:06:01,584
Bring your sons,
consider it a night out. Here.
152
00:06:01,627 --> 00:06:05,222
- Uh, I got three now.
- Oh, congratulations.
153
00:06:05,264 --> 00:06:07,528
(scoffs)
Only like two of 'em.
154
00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:09,330
The middle one
a spoiled little shit.
155
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:12,202
Hey, real talk, Cam, Reg...
thank you.
156
00:06:12,238 --> 00:06:15,435
I've been getting my shit together
since things went down with Marcus.
157
00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:17,841
- You a inspiration, man.
- That's what's up.
158
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:19,504
- All right, all right.
- Yeah.
159
00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:22,173
- My man. Dirty Paul.
- Yeah.
160
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:25,082
- Yo, you want to fuck my sister tonight?
- Uh, I'm good.
161
00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:27,450
- No offense to you or your sister.
- Oh, nah, none taken.
162
00:06:27,487 --> 00:06:30,081
She got a thing for you,
told me to let you know.
163
00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:31,488
I ain't pimping.
164
00:06:31,524 --> 00:06:34,925
(chuckles) I'm just glad
he didn't pull a gun on us.
165
00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:37,088
- New room now, please.
- New room.
166
00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:38,188
All right, all right, I'm working on it.
167
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,858
- Thank you, man.
- I've got you. I've got you.
168
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:45,000
Ripped By mstoll
169
00:06:45,037 --> 00:06:46,629
(door opens, closes)
170
00:06:48,441 --> 00:06:51,376
All right, pack up, Prince Harry.
I got you a new room.
171
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:54,539
Call Michael Schlow.
I need a burger from Tico, medium-well.
172
00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:55,911
What is with you?
173
00:06:55,948 --> 00:06:58,883
You need a room away from the river,
lucky shorts, Tico burger.
174
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:00,909
Last time I was in town,
I had a Tico burger,
175
00:07:00,953 --> 00:07:02,750
and I dropped 38 points
on those guys.
176
00:07:02,789 --> 00:07:05,451
Cam, you were so hot, you could have
dropped 38 points on a 20-foot hoop.
177
00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:08,051
Got fuck all to do with
a Michael Schlow Tico burger.
178
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:09,891
Now, I will give you
the high school shorts thing,
179
00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:12,329
it's a Jordan homage,
but you're going overboard.
180
00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:14,230
Next thing, you'll be making me
hunt down Connie Hunter
181
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,666
because she blew you
when you beat Natick.
182
00:07:15,701 --> 00:07:17,896
I already Facebooked her...
didn't get no response.
183
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:21,498
- Take me to Coach Healey.
- Do you let Coach Healey blow you?
184
00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:24,237
No, but he drove 300 miles to Syracuse
185
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,745
to watch me play in
UNH's first ever tourney game.
186
00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:27,803
I killed it!
187
00:07:27,847 --> 00:07:30,645
Cam, you more than proved your worth
at games Coach Healey wasn't there.
188
00:07:30,683 --> 00:07:33,880
Man, I've never slumped
like this before, ever.
189
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:35,581
I need Coach courtside.
190
00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:38,249
You will shoot your way out of this
like all the greats, but fine.
191
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:41,488
We will leave your high school
basketball coach a ticket.
192
00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:44,018
Now, I gotta auction off a testicle
to pay for all these tickets.
193
00:07:44,063 --> 00:07:47,396
It's all good, though, my lone testicle
will just log double-time.
194
00:07:47,433 --> 00:07:49,697
Let's hand-deliver it.
The ticket, not your spare nut.
195
00:07:49,735 --> 00:07:51,362
Cam, we ain't got time
to play Pony Express.
196
00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:53,304
You got a Boys Club appearance,
you got your walk-through.
197
00:07:53,339 --> 00:07:55,534
Priorities, Reg!
Coach is "A" number one.
198
00:07:55,575 --> 00:07:57,736
Hey, is this about what
Dennis and Callahan said?
199
00:07:57,777 --> 00:08:00,905
Fuck Dennis and Callahan.
Fuck Felger and Mazz, too, man.
200
00:08:00,947 --> 00:08:04,041
- Fuck everybody in Boston.
- Be grateful that we moved away
201
00:08:04,083 --> 00:08:05,744
and now we only gotta be here
twice a year.
202
00:08:05,785 --> 00:08:08,253
Oh, I'm grateful.
I'm very grateful.
203
00:08:08,287 --> 00:08:11,950
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey... ♪
204
00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:14,255
Cassie: I know people that
live out here got Lyme disease.
205
00:08:14,293 --> 00:08:15,760
Missy:
Don't even say that.
206
00:08:15,795 --> 00:08:17,763
I thought we were going to
the botanical garden.
207
00:08:17,797 --> 00:08:20,391
Uh, we are.
These grounds are massive.
208
00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:22,196
The plantation tour is just one part.
209
00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:28,231
♪ I am in a cotton field
picking all day long ♪
210
00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:33,803
♪ I will work with all my might,
God has made me strong ♪
211
00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:37,441
Is this a musical?
212
00:08:37,483 --> 00:08:43,388
♪ Master says he loves me so,
and I love him, too ♪
213
00:08:43,422 --> 00:08:49,486
♪ If my master set me free,
don't know what I'd do ♪
214
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:52,623
(music playing)
215
00:08:55,801 --> 00:08:57,268
(knocking)
216
00:08:57,303 --> 00:08:59,271
Man:
Come on in, Julie, it's open.
217
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,774
- Yo, Coach!
- Coach Healey...
218
00:09:03,809 --> 00:09:09,111
What? Vaughn, Calloway,
as I live and breathe.
219
00:09:09,148 --> 00:09:11,241
I thought you were my niece
bringing me lunch.
220
00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:12,808
To what do I owe this pleasure?
221
00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:14,877
I'm back in town,
got a game tonight.
222
00:09:14,921 --> 00:09:17,116
Just taking the time to see
one of our favorite people.
223
00:09:17,156 --> 00:09:20,853
Oh, I thought it was good when that
new truck appeared out of the blue.
224
00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:23,259
This is even better.
Can I get you something?
225
00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:25,526
Water?
A Diet Coke?
226
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,692
- I'm good.
- Yeah, no, I'm fine. Thank you.
227
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:29,792
- Well, sit down.
- All right.
228
00:09:29,835 --> 00:09:31,962
I know you guys
are probably running around,
229
00:09:32,004 --> 00:09:35,030
but it's been a couple of years
since we laid eyes on each other.
230
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:36,507
- Yeah.
- You both look great!
231
00:09:36,542 --> 00:09:38,476
Thank you, Coach.
Man, feeling good.
232
00:09:38,511 --> 00:09:40,502
How's the, uh, how's the team
looking this year, Coach?
233
00:09:40,546 --> 00:09:43,071
Ah, no longer coaching
high school basketball.
234
00:09:43,115 --> 00:09:44,605
Moved on to the next chapter.
235
00:09:44,650 --> 00:09:47,448
It's time I focus on the things
I've been neglecting, you know?
236
00:09:47,486 --> 00:09:50,148
Like being home,
work on myself for once.
237
00:09:50,189 --> 00:09:52,783
How's Mrs. H, man?
We'd love to say hey.
238
00:09:52,825 --> 00:09:55,316
Ah, she left me
a couple of months ago.
239
00:09:57,463 --> 00:10:00,921
Cammy boy, hey,
you're putting some muscle on.
240
00:10:00,967 --> 00:10:02,832
Look at you,
you're like a superhero.
241
00:10:02,868 --> 00:10:05,530
Yeah, I've been Captain Bricks lately.
242
00:10:05,571 --> 00:10:09,166
You just remember that gorgeous
follow-through of yours.
243
00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:12,006
Shoulders square, wrist loose,
244
00:10:12,044 --> 00:10:15,309
real smooth like this.
245
00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:18,511
You do that tonight, Boston doesn't
stand a chance against you.
246
00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:21,315
And I'll be watching
as I always do.
247
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:23,845
Got the cable
full season league package.
248
00:10:23,889 --> 00:10:28,087
(sighs) Tonight, Coach,
you're gonna watch courtside.
249
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:31,494
Oh, Cam,
that's so sweet of you, really.
250
00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:33,020
But I can't, I got plans.
251
00:10:33,065 --> 00:10:36,523
- Change 'em, man, I need you there.
- Maybe next time.
252
00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:39,902
I know you guys got places to be,
so I'm gonna let you go,
253
00:10:39,939 --> 00:10:42,533
- but I really appreciate the gesture.
- (sighs)
254
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:44,509
Love to have you at this game, Coach.
255
00:10:44,543 --> 00:10:47,205
Well, give me notice next time
and I'll clear my calendar,
256
00:10:47,246 --> 00:10:49,043
but tonight no can do.
257
00:10:49,081 --> 00:10:52,744
Hey, I'm so happy you fellas stopped by.
You know I love you guys.
258
00:10:52,785 --> 00:10:54,844
- Hey, it's our pleasure, Coach.
- All right, take care.
259
00:10:54,887 --> 00:10:58,618
- Let's go.
- And, Cam, I'm proud of you.
260
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:01,058
Keep the faith.
261
00:11:02,061 --> 00:11:03,460
Later, Coach. Yup.
262
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,430
- All right.
- Okay.
263
00:11:07,466 --> 00:11:09,593
(Reggie whispers)
Damn...
264
00:11:11,137 --> 00:11:14,106
Ooh...
(exhales sharply)
265
00:11:15,141 --> 00:11:16,540
(car alarm chirps)
266
00:11:16,575 --> 00:11:19,806
This truck hasn't moved
since we had it delivered.
267
00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:21,813
Yo, that means he's been like that
for five months.
268
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:24,111
Yeah, you don't swell like that
in five months, man.
269
00:11:24,150 --> 00:11:27,244
That's gotta be five years of just
eating like shit and saying fuck it.
270
00:11:27,286 --> 00:11:30,983
I sent him a ticket last year when
I was on Memphis, he didn't come then.
271
00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:33,890
And now we know why. Listen, there's
nothing that we can do right now.
272
00:11:33,926 --> 00:11:36,224
- Let's go, Cam.
- I feel horrible, man.
273
00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:38,059
You know what?
Say a prayer. God's got it.
274
00:11:38,097 --> 00:11:42,659
- What plans could Coach possibly have?
- My guess... dinner plans.
275
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,364
Hey, hey, come on.
Don't do that. That's not cool.
276
00:11:45,404 --> 00:11:47,599
All right, this is Coach
we talking about, a man in need.
277
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:50,609
Coach is not a man who's deprived
himself of anything lately.
278
00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:52,838
He helped make me who I am, Reg.
279
00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:55,574
Cam, we got 36 more hours
before we gotta leave town.
280
00:11:55,614 --> 00:11:58,412
We cannot help what is
wrong with Coach, okay?
281
00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:00,612
Now, look, has he gotten big?
Yes. Hell, he's enormous.
282
00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:02,587
But it's not like it was
some freak accident.
283
00:12:02,621 --> 00:12:04,816
Not like he tripped and then he fell
into a giant milk shake.
284
00:12:04,857 --> 00:12:07,690
I mean, that, what you saw right there,
man, that's deliberate action.
285
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,161
Aided and abetted
by some niece named Julie.
286
00:12:10,196 --> 00:12:13,427
Now we got shit to do and that shit
is not on our to-do list today.
287
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:16,162
That's not shit.
That's Coach.
288
00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:18,500
Out of work, divorced.
289
00:12:18,537 --> 00:12:21,665
We're all a couple of tough breaks away
from being in the exact same place.
290
00:12:21,707 --> 00:12:24,540
There isn't enough space
to be in the same place as Coach.
291
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,704
- Stop... stop with the jokes, Reg.
- Okay.
292
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:29,146
Let's get him to the game, man.
Lift his spirits.
293
00:12:29,181 --> 00:12:31,775
Got a forklift for his spirits?
294
00:12:31,817 --> 00:12:33,785
I'm sorry, Cam,
but he doesn't want to go.
295
00:12:33,819 --> 00:12:36,947
He doesn't think he can go.
I'm not gonna turn my back on Coach.
296
00:12:36,989 --> 00:12:40,390
- He would never turn his back on me.
- He can't turn his back on you
297
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:43,452
or anyone else because he physically
can't turn his back.
298
00:12:43,496 --> 00:12:45,191
And that's not your fault.
299
00:12:45,231 --> 00:12:46,892
That's the fault of
some niece named Julie
300
00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:49,526
and whoever else kept feeding him
until he couldn't stand up anymore.
301
00:12:49,568 --> 00:12:51,866
You didn't dig that ditch,
you didn't make him fat,
302
00:12:51,904 --> 00:12:53,371
and you did not make him fatter.
303
00:12:53,405 --> 00:12:56,169
I can still help him out.
I can get him out of that ditch.
304
00:12:56,208 --> 00:13:00,110
He's the only one that I want there,
man, fuck everybody else in this town.
305
00:13:00,146 --> 00:13:01,670
Get him to the game.
306
00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:03,978
I'd have to remove a wall
to do that, Cam.
307
00:13:04,016 --> 00:13:06,576
Do what you gotta do,
but get him to the game.
308
00:13:09,321 --> 00:13:12,620
Fucking sugar and carbs.
God!
309
00:13:12,658 --> 00:13:16,094
(music playing)
310
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:20,561
- (sheep bleating)
- (children laughing)
311
00:13:20,599 --> 00:13:23,762
So do you think real slaves
sang like that?
312
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:25,828
Because those fake slaves
were getting down.
313
00:13:25,871 --> 00:13:28,339
- I mean, they sounded like K-Ci & JoJo.
- Who cares, Ma?
314
00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:30,501
- This place is racist.
- What, planet Earth?
315
00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:32,875
- Come on, grow up.
- History wasn't pretty.
316
00:13:32,912 --> 00:13:36,006
But if bad history isn't shared,
bad history will repeat itself.
317
00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:37,879
Bad history does not
need to be reenacted.
318
00:13:37,917 --> 00:13:41,148
I don't see no fake Jews at Auschwitz
singing "We love taking showers."
319
00:13:41,187 --> 00:13:43,485
Well, I think that
having actors portray slaves,
320
00:13:43,522 --> 00:13:47,322
living, breathing people in front of us,
reminds us that slavery was real.
321
00:13:47,359 --> 00:13:49,953
- Who needs reminding?
- That one slave had capped teeth.
322
00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:51,257
Took me right out of it.
323
00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:53,697
(Southern accent)
Good afternoon, fine people.
324
00:13:53,732 --> 00:13:55,632
My name is Hazel-Fay Watney,
325
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,568
wife to Timothy Watney,
326
00:13:57,603 --> 00:14:00,299
and welcome to our working plantation.
327
00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:03,103
Are there any questions
before the tour begins? Yes?
328
00:14:03,142 --> 00:14:06,270
Yes, how many times a day do you think
what a horrible person you are?
329
00:14:06,312 --> 00:14:08,542
Oh, we are a Christian family.
330
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:10,412
I attend church every Sunday,
331
00:14:10,449 --> 00:14:12,644
we read the Bible,
and repent when we sin.
332
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,243
You must be repenting all day.
333
00:14:14,286 --> 00:14:16,914
Missy:
The architecture is interesting.
334
00:14:16,956 --> 00:14:18,617
Can you speak about house design?
335
00:14:18,657 --> 00:14:22,957
Oh, yes,
we built this house in 1841.
336
00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:25,463
By "we," you mean a bunch of
human beings at the end of your whip.
337
00:14:25,497 --> 00:14:28,728
Oh, pure, hardworking,
wonderful people
338
00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:31,099
assisted in the building of
this plantation,
339
00:14:31,136 --> 00:14:34,071
and we are very grateful
for their tireless work.
340
00:14:34,106 --> 00:14:37,098
And, well, we certainly
couldn't have done it without them.
341
00:14:37,142 --> 00:14:40,737
Can you list their birthdays
or do you celebrate their auction dates?
342
00:14:40,779 --> 00:14:45,978
They celebrate their lives every day
through camaraderie and song.
343
00:14:46,018 --> 00:14:49,613
You do realize this whole owning slave
thing doesn't end well for you, yes?
344
00:14:49,655 --> 00:14:53,250
Summers are notoriously hot
on the plantation,
345
00:14:53,292 --> 00:14:57,092
and the only thing sought after more
than our precious tobacco
346
00:14:57,129 --> 00:14:59,154
is a nice cool glass of iced tea.
347
00:14:59,198 --> 00:15:03,225
Now, then, I would love to
invite you into our kitchen
348
00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:05,464
to show you how
the meals were prepared.
349
00:15:05,504 --> 00:15:08,200
Are there any other questions?
350
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:11,334
- No? Okay.
- Hey, excuse me. I'm raising my hand.
351
00:15:11,377 --> 00:15:14,210
Can you not see it? I've got
the light-skinned side toward you.
352
00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:16,908
Listen, would you please let
Tinker Bell do the tour, okay?
353
00:15:16,949 --> 00:15:18,644
- I'm trying to take pictures.
- Nah, Ma.
354
00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:21,209
I'm gonna go jump in an Uber
and let some old white man
355
00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:23,619
reverse "Driving Miss M-Chuck"
me home.
356
00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:28,525
Come on, Mary Charles.
Mary Charles!
357
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:31,859
Uber doesn't even
come out on plantations.
358
00:15:31,897 --> 00:15:35,594
Cam, I am at the front door.
It's the address that you gave me.
359
00:15:35,634 --> 00:15:38,296
Look, I'll knock one more time
and then I gotta go. Bye.
360
00:15:38,337 --> 00:15:40,965
- (phone beeps)
- Hey. Hey, Mabel, listen.
361
00:15:41,006 --> 00:15:43,497
I'm not trying to break in,
I just want to leave you some chickens.
362
00:15:43,542 --> 00:15:46,807
I will pay to take out a door,
a wall, hell, the whole roof.
363
00:15:46,845 --> 00:15:49,143
I just gotta get
this really fat guy out.
364
00:15:52,318 --> 00:15:53,478
Hey, hey.
365
00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:56,420
I don't mean to bother you, but what
you got going on later on today?
366
00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:58,650
(music playing)
367
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:02,625
Cam, I'm at the arena.
I'm waiting on the guy in charge here.
368
00:16:02,661 --> 00:16:05,528
I'm trying to get Coach situated, okay?
369
00:16:05,564 --> 00:16:07,225
You must be the guy
looking to talk to me.
370
00:16:07,266 --> 00:16:09,257
- I gotta go, I gotta go. Yeah.
- I'm Joe Connelly, I'm in charge.
371
00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:10,893
What's this shit-show you're trying to
put this arena through
372
00:16:10,936 --> 00:16:13,461
- as a favor to you?
- My cousin Cam plays for Atlanta.
373
00:16:13,505 --> 00:16:15,496
- I don't give a fuck.
- No, I'm just trying to explain.
374
00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:17,941
Details that help will help.
Details that don't won't.
375
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,673
And for your information,
this is not Atlanta, it's Boston.
376
00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:23,113
I know.
And, yeah, and my cousin is from Boston.
377
00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:24,706
- Where exactly?
- Dorchester.
378
00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:27,218
Dorchester's Dorchester
and Boston's Boston.
379
00:16:27,252 --> 00:16:28,685
It's got two different names.
You know why?
380
00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:30,052
'Cause it's two different places.
381
00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:32,853
Fucking Magellan over here
thinks Dorchester's Boston proper.
382
00:16:37,096 --> 00:16:39,360
Dorchester is Boston's
biggest neighborhood.
383
00:16:39,398 --> 00:16:40,763
What, are you Boston. Gov?
384
00:16:40,799 --> 00:16:43,097
For your information, when people from
Dorchester are asked where they're from,
385
00:16:43,135 --> 00:16:45,126
they say Dorchester.
386
00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:47,434
They don't start with Boston
and then say Dorchester.
387
00:16:47,473 --> 00:16:50,374
Well, I'm from the Dorchester part
of Boston, okay?
388
00:16:50,409 --> 00:16:54,072
And I just need a little help getting a
very large man here for tonight's game.
389
00:16:54,113 --> 00:16:55,580
How very large?
390
00:16:55,614 --> 00:16:58,583
Like those two fat twins on the mini
bikes in the Guinness Book of Records?
391
00:16:58,617 --> 00:17:01,085
Or that fat fucking lard-ass
they buried in a piano coffin?
392
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:03,554
- More like the piano one.
- I'm in charge of this arena,
393
00:17:03,589 --> 00:17:05,955
not the liposuction unit
at the Mass General Hospital
394
00:17:05,991 --> 00:17:08,585
where it sounds like your Coach
Piano Case needs to be.
395
00:17:08,627 --> 00:17:10,595
(laughter)
396
00:17:10,629 --> 00:17:12,790
Okay, look, I know this,
uh, this request
397
00:17:12,831 --> 00:17:15,129
is a little larger than
your average pain in the ass,
398
00:17:15,167 --> 00:17:20,002
so I asked around and I found out
what you like to drink.
399
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,939
Who'd you ask, one of
my enemies from Belfast?
400
00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:24,408
Belfast? I...
Look, man, I...
401
00:17:24,443 --> 00:17:27,276
- That's a 21-year-old bottle.
- Yeah, Bushmills.
402
00:17:27,312 --> 00:17:28,779
You know, you got balls
as big as church bells
403
00:17:28,814 --> 00:17:30,475
coming in here trying to bribe me
with Proddy whiskey.
404
00:17:30,516 --> 00:17:32,006
Is that not Irish whiskey?
405
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,417
That's alcohol
made in Northern Ireland.
406
00:17:34,453 --> 00:17:36,353
The label says "Irish whiskey."
407
00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:39,357
Yeah, because if it said "Northern Irish
whiskey," no one would buy it.
408
00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:41,291
I thought Irish whiskey
was Irish whiskey.
409
00:17:41,326 --> 00:17:43,954
- You think like most racists.
- D...
410
00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:46,123
You think Northern Ireland
is the same as regular Ireland.
411
00:17:46,165 --> 00:17:48,258
And you think that Irish people
only speak English
412
00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:50,530
as opposed to their own fucking
language that was stolen from them.
413
00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:52,059
And you don't know
that a part of Ireland
414
00:17:52,104 --> 00:17:54,368
is an occupied country
separated from its true self,
415
00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:56,067
and that drinking that
Protestant whiskey
416
00:17:56,108 --> 00:17:58,406
is one of the most self-hating things
an Irishman can do.
417
00:17:58,444 --> 00:18:00,878
I'm Catholic.
I drink Jameson.
418
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:03,006
I didn't think any of these things
419
00:18:03,048 --> 00:18:06,211
because I have no idea
what any of them mean, no offense.
420
00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:09,482
- Who are you again?
- I'm C... I'm Cam Calloway's cousin.
421
00:18:09,521 --> 00:18:11,113
I still don't give a fuck.
422
00:18:11,156 --> 00:18:13,590
You know, he repped this area
when he took Saint McGuire to state's.
423
00:18:13,625 --> 00:18:16,185
I went to Holy Name
and we hate you St. McGuire cunts.
424
00:18:16,228 --> 00:18:17,923
Bunch of cunty, conceited pricks
425
00:18:17,963 --> 00:18:20,329
who we used to kick
the fucking shit out of in hockey.
426
00:18:20,365 --> 00:18:24,495
And I happened to be the captain of
the 1983 Division III championship team.
427
00:18:24,536 --> 00:18:27,369
Well, congratulations.
Listen, I just need a comfortable place
428
00:18:27,406 --> 00:18:29,738
for his old coach to sit
and watch the game.
429
00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:32,403
I got an idea.
How about at home in his bed?
430
00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:34,639
And maybe the bed next to that one
and the bed next to that one?
431
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,671
(laughter)
432
00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:42,017
- Are there any handicapped seats?
- Yeah, for handicapped people.
433
00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:44,045
Those who God
or misfortune fucked up.
434
00:18:44,089 --> 00:18:46,216
Not for those who Fluffernuttered
themself into oblivion.
435
00:18:46,258 --> 00:18:47,850
I know that you can do this.
436
00:18:47,893 --> 00:18:50,487
So... so please, you-you tell me
what you want from me
437
00:18:50,529 --> 00:18:52,588
because I desperately need
to get this done.
438
00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:55,930
Finally a five-letter word
we can understand... please.
439
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,596
There's six letters in "please."
I just...
440
00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:00,764
- You busting my balls?
- I'm not... I'm just...
441
00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:03,366
I fucking love it.
Come on, Dorchester.
442
00:19:03,408 --> 00:19:06,206
Come on, we'll help you out.
443
00:19:06,245 --> 00:19:07,678
Hey, fuckballs, this is Joe.
444
00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:10,580
Listen, I want Johnny, Tommy,
Mark, Brendan, Kevin, Connor,
445
00:19:10,616 --> 00:19:14,279
uh, Tommy B, Liam, and Tom Welch
in my office right now.
446
00:19:15,554 --> 00:19:17,419
Oh, yeah, and bring Jamal.
He's one of your guys.
447
00:19:17,456 --> 00:19:19,287
(music playing)
448
00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:26,024
Well, well, well,
if it isn't Mr. Shuck and Mr. Jive.
449
00:19:26,064 --> 00:19:28,362
I'm just wondering when you two
bumped your fucking heads
450
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,527
and decided to lose your sense
of black pride.
451
00:19:30,569 --> 00:19:34,130
How did these fucking crackers
get you two to do this minstrel show?
452
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:37,404
- I'm trying to pay off my truck.
- I got four kids.
453
00:19:37,442 --> 00:19:40,536
You're gonna be a great role model
for them, I want you to know that.
454
00:19:40,579 --> 00:19:43,013
(normal accent)
Hey, dudes, break's over.
455
00:19:43,048 --> 00:19:46,415
- Chantell needs you back at the livery.
- Yeah, back to it.
456
00:19:46,451 --> 00:19:48,078
You should be real proud of yourselves.
457
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:51,317
And you, taking a break
from spreading hate?
458
00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:54,450
I get you're offended, okay?
It is what it is.
459
00:19:54,493 --> 00:19:58,520
- No, what it isn't is cool.
- You know what? I'm an actor, okay?
460
00:19:58,564 --> 00:20:01,897
My agent got me this gig.
Somebody's gotta play the villain.
461
00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:03,993
Do you hate the guy
who played Darth Vader?
462
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:07,870
Hey, that guy is James Earl Jones.
463
00:20:07,906 --> 00:20:09,737
He is a national treasure.
464
00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:11,936
And that movie is "Star Wars."
465
00:20:11,977 --> 00:20:14,104
It's-it's fiction. It's for kids.
466
00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:16,740
This thing here,
it's like you're...
467
00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:18,909
it's like you're making slavery
into Disneyland.
468
00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:21,749
Look, you know what?
I'm not crazy about this gig, okay?
469
00:20:21,787 --> 00:20:24,255
But I'm trying.
470
00:20:24,289 --> 00:20:27,690
Why would you take this gig
if you're not crazy about it?
471
00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:29,819
I've got student loans
I gotta pay off.
472
00:20:29,861 --> 00:20:32,728
I was up in New York
trying to be an actor.
473
00:20:32,764 --> 00:20:35,028
My dad shoots himself in the face.
474
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:38,036
I gotta come back here,
take care of him.
475
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:41,471
He says he was just cleaning his gun.
I don't believe him.
476
00:20:41,506 --> 00:20:43,531
Now half of his jaw is missing.
477
00:20:45,677 --> 00:20:49,875
Fuck. Sorry.
478
00:20:52,551 --> 00:20:55,884
What are you listening to?
479
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:58,549
Indigo Girls.
480
00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:01,286
Which album?
481
00:21:01,326 --> 00:21:02,816
You're gonna rip apart my house
482
00:21:02,861 --> 00:21:04,988
and tow me eight miles
to go to a basketball game?
483
00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:07,191
5.3 up 93 North.
484
00:21:07,232 --> 00:21:09,700
Coach, I can't tell you how much
your support meant to me.
485
00:21:09,735 --> 00:21:13,262
Forklifts, cranes, pulleys,
tarps, flatbed trucks...
486
00:21:13,305 --> 00:21:14,704
are you out of your mind?
487
00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:17,436
- A stunt like that could kill me.
- I'm trying to help you, Coach.
488
00:21:17,476 --> 00:21:18,534
You want to help me?
489
00:21:18,577 --> 00:21:22,206
Well, get some bridge cable
and build me a zip line to the shitter.
490
00:21:22,247 --> 00:21:25,375
Coach, I understand that life
has knocked you down,
491
00:21:25,417 --> 00:21:26,884
but you... you don't gotta stay there.
492
00:21:26,918 --> 00:21:28,715
You'll see how much
you inspire me, man,
493
00:21:28,754 --> 00:21:31,655
and it'll all come back...
how great of a person you are.
494
00:21:31,690 --> 00:21:34,090
Cam, bring it in.
495
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:36,390
Excuse me.
496
00:21:36,428 --> 00:21:39,363
I was your high school
basketball coach.
497
00:21:39,398 --> 00:21:41,832
And honestly,
a mediocre one at best.
498
00:21:41,867 --> 00:21:44,631
I didn't do anything for you
that any other coach wouldn't have done.
499
00:21:44,670 --> 00:21:46,331
You started me
my sophomore year.
500
00:21:46,371 --> 00:21:50,432
Because you were quicker, stronger,
and better than anyone else on the team.
501
00:21:50,475 --> 00:21:53,876
That's not called being a great coach.
That's called not being a fucking idiot.
502
00:21:53,912 --> 00:21:56,346
Coach, you gotta change up
your life, man.
503
00:21:56,381 --> 00:21:58,178
And change is not coming in this bed.
504
00:21:58,216 --> 00:22:00,741
I need you.
505
00:22:00,786 --> 00:22:03,812
I've never slumped like this before,
ever, on any level.
506
00:22:03,855 --> 00:22:05,379
You're my good luck charm.
507
00:22:05,424 --> 00:22:09,451
Cam, this fixating on me being
a solution to all your woes
508
00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:11,758
means one thing...
you're depressed.
509
00:22:11,797 --> 00:22:14,561
You gotta look into it.
You gotta check it out for yourself.
510
00:22:14,599 --> 00:22:16,897
I'm good.
I got all I need.
511
00:22:16,935 --> 00:22:21,031
You're here, man.
You're alone, immobile.
512
00:22:21,073 --> 00:22:22,472
I'm not alone.
513
00:22:22,507 --> 00:22:25,635
I got a niece that comes by to visit,
brings me food, helps me out.
514
00:22:25,677 --> 00:22:30,842
I got great DSL service, you know,
Netflix, watch a ton of documentaries.
515
00:22:30,882 --> 00:22:32,474
I got great social network friends.
516
00:22:32,517 --> 00:22:35,315
I'm taking online courses
from the University of Phoenix.
517
00:22:35,354 --> 00:22:37,822
I got my Sudoku.
I got word search.
518
00:22:37,856 --> 00:22:40,416
I'm blessed.
519
00:22:40,459 --> 00:22:42,427
Maybe I was born to be this way.
520
00:22:42,461 --> 00:22:46,192
Are you just gonna stand there
and be useless?
521
00:22:46,231 --> 00:22:49,632
You got any idea what I've been through
in the last six hours for you?
522
00:22:49,668 --> 00:22:52,728
- This is what matters. Help me.
- You want me to help you?
523
00:22:52,771 --> 00:22:55,205
- Yeah!
- Okay, how about
524
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:57,902
I put a gun to his head,
I drag him out of bed,
525
00:22:57,943 --> 00:23:00,810
and I'll roll him to the game myself
just so he can be your good luck Buddha.
526
00:23:00,846 --> 00:23:02,541
This ain't about Coach.
527
00:23:02,581 --> 00:23:05,049
This is about you needing to
not fold under the pressure
528
00:23:05,083 --> 00:23:07,074
because this pressure is the job.
529
00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:10,247
So nut up and deal with it 'cause it
ain't going anywhere anytime soon.
530
00:23:10,288 --> 00:23:12,984
Coach:
Excuse me, Reggie.
531
00:23:13,024 --> 00:23:15,925
Would you do me a favor
and pass me my cistern?
532
00:23:15,961 --> 00:23:19,419
- Your what?
- My piss jug.
533
00:23:22,801 --> 00:23:25,895
- (sloshing)
- I'm gonna need a minute.
534
00:23:25,937 --> 00:23:28,462
But I'm also gonna need a hand.
535
00:23:28,507 --> 00:23:31,840
(music playing)
536
00:23:51,930 --> 00:23:53,795
How much underwear is under here?
537
00:23:53,832 --> 00:23:56,528
A lot.
538
00:23:56,568 --> 00:24:00,527
- It better be worth it.
- It is.
539
00:24:01,540 --> 00:24:04,737
(music playing)
540
00:24:04,776 --> 00:24:07,802
Gerry, Cam Calloway
struggled big time last night.
541
00:24:07,846 --> 00:24:10,815
4 of 20 from the floor,
a measly 10 points.
542
00:24:10,849 --> 00:24:13,010
Boston handily beats Atlanta at home.
543
00:24:13,051 --> 00:24:15,281
- Should have had more cookies.
- Maybe a lot more cookies.
544
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:17,788
- This kid's in a slump.
- He's been in a slump for a long time.
545
00:24:17,823 --> 00:24:19,222
John: I'm almost starting
to feel sorry for him.
546
00:24:19,257 --> 00:24:21,316
Gerry: He's thinking too much,
it's all in his head.
547
00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:23,418
- (radio shuts off)
- (door opens, closes)
548
00:24:23,462 --> 00:24:25,953
- Yo.
- (Cam scoffs)
549
00:24:25,997 --> 00:24:29,489
Yo, how does Mom
not know what overnight is?
550
00:24:29,534 --> 00:24:32,002
She two-dayed
these fucking things, man.
551
00:24:32,037 --> 00:24:33,402
If I would have had them for the game...
552
00:24:33,438 --> 00:24:35,804
Hey, you know what,
maybe my mind is playing tricks on me,
553
00:24:35,841 --> 00:24:39,436
but a few weeks ago, I thought I heard
you say that you were a grown-ass man.
554
00:24:39,478 --> 00:24:41,412
- Yeah?
- Aw, man.
555
00:24:41,446 --> 00:24:43,141
And then a few months before that,
all you talked about
556
00:24:43,181 --> 00:24:45,877
was how you wanted to
carry a team on your shoulders.
557
00:24:45,917 --> 00:24:48,852
You're acting like a child, Cam.
558
00:24:48,887 --> 00:24:52,220
Can't even carry yourself.
Now, listen, I'll keep doing it.
559
00:24:52,257 --> 00:24:54,589
All your weak-minded,
piddly-ass,
560
00:24:54,626 --> 00:24:57,459
peccadillo,
superstitious bullshit, I will.
561
00:24:57,496 --> 00:25:00,727
But what saddens me the most
is that you keep asking me to do it.
562
00:25:00,765 --> 00:25:03,495
Because it means
that you ain't growing.
563
00:25:03,535 --> 00:25:06,470
And all this... all this drama
that you create, man,
564
00:25:06,505 --> 00:25:08,939
you don't even realize,
but it is beneath you.
565
00:25:08,974 --> 00:25:11,943
(Cam sighs)
566
00:25:11,977 --> 00:25:14,912
So who you gonna be, Cam?
567
00:25:14,946 --> 00:25:16,937
'Cause you're better than this.
568
00:25:26,925 --> 00:25:29,257
Fine.
569
00:25:29,294 --> 00:25:32,821
- Get rid of 'em.
- Will do.
570
00:25:35,867 --> 00:25:38,665
Yo, Coach needs surgery.
Set it up.
571
00:25:38,703 --> 00:25:43,299
Do you know how much lipo
has to be suctioned out of that man?
572
00:25:43,341 --> 00:25:47,675
- I mean, that's just a lot of lipo.
- Man, I don't care about that.
573
00:25:47,712 --> 00:25:50,010
Fucking Boston.
574
00:25:50,048 --> 00:25:54,075
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey... ♪
575
00:25:54,119 --> 00:25:56,110
Woman: Remember, kids,
this is living history,
576
00:25:56,154 --> 00:25:58,588
so the people you see are reenacting
what life would have been like
577
00:25:58,623 --> 00:26:01,990
before the Civil War.
578
00:26:02,027 --> 00:26:03,961
Ahem!
579
00:26:06,464 --> 00:26:08,762
(Southern accent)
Oh. Good mornin'.
580
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:11,860
Welcome to the Watney Plantation.
581
00:26:11,903 --> 00:26:14,838
- Uh, this is my...
- Friend.
582
00:26:14,873 --> 00:26:17,637
- Mary Charles.
- And, uh, we were just...
583
00:26:17,676 --> 00:26:19,507
We were having a sleepover, kids.
584
00:26:19,544 --> 00:26:22,536
It's kinda hot.
585
00:26:22,581 --> 00:26:24,674
- Okay, let's go.
- Girl: Are they lesbians?
586
00:26:24,716 --> 00:26:26,183
You'll learn about that
in the eighth grade.
587
00:26:26,217 --> 00:26:28,276
Girl: Okay.
588
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:30,982
(whispers)
Go.
589
00:26:34,593 --> 00:26:38,689
- (normal accent) I'm so fired.
- Good.
590
00:26:38,730 --> 00:26:42,029
♪ It ain't got to be
the walk of shame, baby ♪
591
00:26:42,067 --> 00:26:44,729
♪ But that's only if you know
the game, baby ♪
592
00:26:44,769 --> 00:26:47,829
♪ Later, I can't be the one
to blame, baby ♪
593
00:26:47,872 --> 00:26:50,705
♪ But for now,
take the walk of shame, baby ♪
594
00:26:50,742 --> 00:26:53,370
♪ Nothing but ass and titties,
but I let that ass convince me ♪
595
00:26:53,411 --> 00:26:56,539
♪ Took it in that, hit that,
wish I could say it was accidently ♪
596
00:26:56,581 --> 00:26:59,379
♪ Like I stepped on a banana peel
and fell in that pussy ♪
597
00:26:59,417 --> 00:27:02,215
♪ Y'all niggas be spending all kind of
scrill to get in that pussy ♪
598
00:27:02,253 --> 00:27:04,221
♪ And she cop a seven every Friday ♪
599
00:27:04,255 --> 00:27:07,816
♪ Chuck the deuces at her baby daddy
as I pulled up out the driveway ♪
600
00:27:07,859 --> 00:27:10,259
♪ For real ♪
601
00:27:10,295 --> 00:27:11,762
♪ Here we go again ♪
602
00:27:11,796 --> 00:27:14,128
♪ Back in your pussy, baby,
you know what I'm saying, for sho' ♪
603
00:27:14,165 --> 00:27:16,929
♪ It ain't got to be
the walk of shame, baby ♪
604
00:27:16,968 --> 00:27:19,835
♪ But that's only if you know
the game, baby ♪
605
00:27:19,871 --> 00:27:22,806
♪ Later, I can't be the one
to blame, baby ♪
606
00:27:22,841 --> 00:27:25,571
♪ But for now,
take the walk of shame, baby ♪
607
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:35,000
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