1 00:00:00,368 --> 00:00:01,701 There you are. 2 00:00:01,736 --> 00:00:03,603 You little gray bastard. 3 00:00:15,283 --> 00:00:16,849 - Hey, Jimmy. - Kristen. Hey, babe. 4 00:00:18,620 --> 00:00:21,054 Girls! 5 00:00:21,089 --> 00:00:22,755 Right this way. 6 00:00:22,791 --> 00:00:25,358 Got you at my favorite table. 7 00:00:25,393 --> 00:00:27,693 Right this way, gentlemen. I have you at my favorite table. 8 00:00:29,564 --> 00:00:32,565 How's it feel to be the prettiest girl in the room? 9 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,134 How's it feel to be the prettiest girl in the room? 10 00:00:36,938 --> 00:00:39,893 I heard Deion Sanders is coming to town for his birthday. We got to get him here. 11 00:00:39,918 --> 00:00:41,974 He already has plans at that new place, Bistro 6. 12 00:00:42,010 --> 00:00:43,879 Easy. Why is everyone going there? 13 00:00:43,904 --> 00:00:45,144 The food is amazing. 14 00:00:45,180 --> 00:00:46,746 - You're fired. - No, I'm not. 15 00:00:46,781 --> 00:00:48,781 - Just get me Deion, please. - On it. 16 00:00:48,817 --> 00:00:50,583 "Not now, Frank, I'm eating!" 17 00:00:50,618 --> 00:00:52,919 Come on, girls. Say "Jimmy!" 18 00:00:52,954 --> 00:00:54,487 Jimmy! 19 00:00:54,522 --> 00:00:57,623 Was amazing. Oh, and the tiramisu was to die for! 20 00:00:59,127 --> 00:01:00,726 I collect trains. Dorky, I know. 21 00:01:00,762 --> 00:01:02,261 But, you know, I always imagined 22 00:01:02,297 --> 00:01:04,097 that I would share them with my son one day. 23 00:01:04,132 --> 00:01:05,765 Don't get me wrong, I love my life, 24 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:07,900 but I'd give it all up just like that 25 00:01:07,936 --> 00:01:09,001 for a family. 26 00:01:12,540 --> 00:01:15,108 I'm sorry. We don't allow children. 27 00:01:23,451 --> 00:01:24,750 Play classical. 28 00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:28,921 Cancel. Happy pop. 29 00:01:35,363 --> 00:01:37,497 Afternoon, kids. 30 00:01:37,532 --> 00:01:40,166 Ravi. Hey! Jimmy! 31 00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:42,668 Stop locking the new guy in the freezer. 32 00:01:42,704 --> 00:01:44,637 You're late for work! 33 00:01:44,672 --> 00:01:48,841 Jimmy, try this: Gluten-free pappardelle. 34 00:01:48,877 --> 00:01:51,711 Mmm. Ravi, delicious. What's the secret? 35 00:01:51,746 --> 00:01:53,779 Gluten. Tons of gluten. 36 00:01:53,815 --> 00:01:55,114 It's basically nothing but gluten. 37 00:01:55,150 --> 00:01:57,116 - Hi. - Hey. Kid, we're closed. 38 00:01:57,152 --> 00:01:58,684 Uh, my name's Gerald. 39 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:01,287 I have... something pretty important to tell you. 40 00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:03,656 Uh, sorry. 41 00:02:03,691 --> 00:02:06,659 - Yes? - Uh... 42 00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:11,230 - Hi. Hi. - Kid, hey, focus. 43 00:02:11,266 --> 00:02:12,865 Sorry. Um... 44 00:02:12,901 --> 00:02:15,001 My mom is Sara Kingsley. 45 00:02:15,036 --> 00:02:18,004 You dated for a while in 1989. 46 00:02:18,039 --> 00:02:21,674 She was a cook at a restaurant you worked at. 47 00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:23,543 Oh, on the night that photo was taken, 48 00:02:23,578 --> 00:02:24,877 she took you to a Jane's Addiction show, 49 00:02:24,913 --> 00:02:26,512 but you guys left early 50 00:02:26,548 --> 00:02:28,514 because you refused to go number two at the club. 51 00:02:28,550 --> 00:02:30,216 - Sounds like you. - Definitely. 52 00:02:30,251 --> 00:02:32,518 You didn't have much in common, but what you did have 53 00:02:32,554 --> 00:02:34,220 was a whole bunch of unprotected sex. 54 00:02:34,255 --> 00:02:36,422 - Sounds like you. - Definitely. 55 00:02:36,457 --> 00:02:38,191 After you guys broke up, my mom discovered 56 00:02:38,226 --> 00:02:40,259 she was pregnant with me. 57 00:02:40,295 --> 00:02:42,161 I'm your son. 58 00:02:42,197 --> 00:02:44,397 Oh, one more thing. 59 00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:49,035 This is Edie, your granddaughter. 60 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:58,000 Sync and corrections by squallounet www.addic7ed.com 61 00:03:00,261 --> 00:03:01,282 How the hell? 62 00:03:01,283 --> 00:03:03,849 I'm a grandfath... 63 00:03:03,885 --> 00:03:05,218 I'm a grandf... 64 00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:07,787 I've never even had a gray hair. 65 00:03:07,822 --> 00:03:10,723 I mean, sure, I have always wanted a family, but have I? 66 00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:13,392 Or was that just some line I've been using to pick up girls? 67 00:03:13,428 --> 00:03:15,094 It's a great line, by the way. 68 00:03:15,129 --> 00:03:17,697 So when this weird kid and this baby show up 69 00:03:17,732 --> 00:03:20,900 and ask me in the realest possible way do I want a family, 70 00:03:20,935 --> 00:03:23,236 well, my answer, very honestly, is... 71 00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:25,471 I have no idea. 72 00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:28,274 Sounds like you need some time to process this. Yeah. 73 00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:30,142 I'm sorry. I'm-I'm a little stressed out right now. 74 00:03:30,178 --> 00:03:31,978 Reservations are down 15%. 75 00:03:32,013 --> 00:03:33,312 It was probably a mistake, 76 00:03:33,348 --> 00:03:34,480 me just popping in on you like this. 77 00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:35,581 I'm-I'm gonna go. 78 00:03:35,617 --> 00:03:37,650 Yeah, that's... You know what? 79 00:03:37,685 --> 00:03:39,652 Let me just... let me just give you my card, 80 00:03:39,687 --> 00:03:41,654 and you text me your number, and then 81 00:03:41,689 --> 00:03:44,471 we'll get together when things calm down a little bit. Is that okay? 82 00:03:44,471 --> 00:03:45,291 Yeah. 83 00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:46,859 Yeah. 84 00:03:48,963 --> 00:03:50,162 It's a beautiful baby. 85 00:03:50,198 --> 00:03:51,497 Thanks. 86 00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:54,867 It's a beautiful... business card. 87 00:04:00,675 --> 00:04:02,141 What? What's that look for? 88 00:04:02,176 --> 00:04:03,309 What was I supposed to do, throw him a baseball mitt, 89 00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:06,312 have a catch and sing "Cat's in the Cradle" with him? 90 00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:07,346 Am I right, Victor? 91 00:04:08,516 --> 00:04:10,349 White Victor? 92 00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:12,885 No? 93 00:04:14,222 --> 00:04:17,189 Wait! Wait! 94 00:04:17,225 --> 00:04:19,825 That wasn't how it was supposed to go. 95 00:04:19,861 --> 00:04:23,693 Everyone, what's the one thing that I've always said was missing from my life? 96 00:04:23,718 --> 00:04:26,132 A linen pant that goes from the beach to the bar? 97 00:04:26,167 --> 00:04:27,767 Yes, and the search continues. 98 00:04:27,802 --> 00:04:30,336 No, I meant a family. 99 00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:31,971 A family. 100 00:04:32,006 --> 00:04:35,474 Everyone, I'd like you to meet Gerald and his daughter. 101 00:04:35,510 --> 00:04:37,009 You're a grandpa? 102 00:04:37,979 --> 00:04:39,612 Can I hold it? 103 00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:40,980 Sure. 104 00:04:44,018 --> 00:04:46,385 Aw. 105 00:04:46,421 --> 00:04:48,888 Yeah. 106 00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:53,225 Not funny. 107 00:04:53,261 --> 00:04:55,061 Sorry. Sorry. 108 00:04:55,096 --> 00:04:57,496 It's... 109 00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:07,740 Jimmy! 110 00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:09,375 We have a son? 111 00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:11,043 - I... - No, no, no, no, no. 112 00:05:11,079 --> 00:05:12,678 No. You don't get to talk. 113 00:05:12,714 --> 00:05:14,347 I'm doing all the talking now. I'm talking. 114 00:05:14,382 --> 00:05:17,483 - My turn. - Okay. That's fair. Talk. 115 00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:19,485 What do you have to say for yourself? 116 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,821 First off, I never kept him from meeting you. 117 00:05:21,856 --> 00:05:23,989 All he had to do was ask... 118 00:05:24,025 --> 00:05:26,025 Yeah, well, you should've told me I had a son walking around. 119 00:05:26,060 --> 00:05:28,394 What if I were gay and I met him in a bar? 120 00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:30,029 That's where your head goes? 121 00:05:30,064 --> 00:05:31,330 - What's wrong with you? - What's wrong with me? 122 00:05:31,366 --> 00:05:32,898 I'm standing on a porch 123 00:05:32,934 --> 00:05:35,201 - in East Bumpkinville... - Pasadena. 124 00:05:35,236 --> 00:05:37,036 - Oh, this is Pasadena? - Yes. 125 00:05:37,071 --> 00:05:39,038 Talking to a woman that I haven't seen in 26 years 126 00:05:39,073 --> 00:05:40,873 about a son that I didn't know I had. 127 00:05:40,908 --> 00:05:42,408 How could you do this to me? 128 00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:44,710 Have you met you? 129 00:05:44,746 --> 00:05:47,079 The entire time we dated, 130 00:05:47,115 --> 00:05:48,914 you refused to call me your girlfriend. 131 00:05:48,950 --> 00:05:51,417 You wouldn't even let me keep a toothbrush at your place. 132 00:05:51,452 --> 00:05:53,452 You gave me gingivitis. 133 00:05:53,488 --> 00:05:54,887 I did not. 134 00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:56,088 You were proud of 135 00:05:56,124 --> 00:05:57,857 how bad you were at relationships, 136 00:05:57,892 --> 00:06:00,626 and the only thing that you ever cared about was your career 137 00:06:00,661 --> 00:06:03,129 and your sex life. Speaking of which, girlfriend?! 138 00:06:03,164 --> 00:06:05,431 - Employee. Lesbian. - Mmm. Smart. 139 00:06:05,466 --> 00:06:07,366 - Job requirement. - I like you. 140 00:06:07,402 --> 00:06:09,034 - Let's be friends. - Get back in the car. 141 00:06:09,070 --> 00:06:11,237 Jimmy, I hope this goes well. I do. 142 00:06:11,272 --> 00:06:13,739 And I hate being the scolding, protective 143 00:06:13,775 --> 00:06:16,142 mother stereotype, so I hope I only have to say this 144 00:06:16,177 --> 00:06:19,812 to you once: If you hurt my son or his daughter, 145 00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:21,580 I will choke you to death 146 00:06:21,616 --> 00:06:25,317 with your own overly moisturized hands. 147 00:06:25,353 --> 00:06:26,752 Okay. 148 00:06:26,788 --> 00:06:28,587 Gotta run. 149 00:06:28,623 --> 00:06:31,157 Gerald is in the guesthouse in the back. 150 00:06:31,192 --> 00:06:33,826 You look great, by the way. 151 00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:35,428 Deal with the Devil really paid off. 152 00:06:38,499 --> 00:06:41,734 Yeah, I'm on her side. She's awesome. 153 00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:44,437 She thinks I'll suck at this. I'll show her. 154 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:47,106 Get those healthy fats, Edie. 155 00:06:48,943 --> 00:06:50,309 Get that out. 156 00:06:50,344 --> 00:06:51,444 Get it. Come on. 157 00:06:51,479 --> 00:06:52,445 Oh, yeah! 158 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:54,280 That's good, that's good! 159 00:06:54,315 --> 00:06:56,949 Here, watch the pants, with the... Not... 160 00:06:56,984 --> 00:06:58,317 The hands are very dirty. 161 00:06:58,352 --> 00:06:59,819 Okay. There you go. 162 00:07:02,690 --> 00:07:05,191 - Is that French? - It's West African French. 163 00:07:05,226 --> 00:07:07,593 It's the fastest growing language in the world. 164 00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,695 - Mandarin's for suckers. - Yeah. 165 00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:10,963 N'est-ce pas, Edie? 166 00:07:10,998 --> 00:07:12,531 Go play. Go play. 167 00:07:12,567 --> 00:07:15,968 Listen, Gerald, I got to ask you: 168 00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:17,703 Why did you come find me? Why now? 169 00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:20,606 I just felt like it was time. 170 00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:23,442 Honestly, being fatherless was never a big deal for me, and... 171 00:07:23,478 --> 00:07:25,678 then the other day, I came across a BuzzFeed listicle 172 00:07:25,713 --> 00:07:28,113 called "28 Reasons Why Having a Dad Is the Best," 173 00:07:28,149 --> 00:07:30,950 and, by number 12, I was crying so hard I was dehydrated. 174 00:07:30,985 --> 00:07:34,286 Yeah. Listen, kid, I'm a 50-year-old bachelor. 175 00:07:34,322 --> 00:07:36,956 - We're society's most worthless people. - Mmm. 176 00:07:36,991 --> 00:07:39,558 Look, I don't know if I'm cut out to be a father, 177 00:07:39,594 --> 00:07:40,659 much less a... 178 00:07:40,695 --> 00:07:42,962 a grandf... a grand... 179 00:07:42,997 --> 00:07:46,131 - Can I be honest? - Dude, you've been aggressively honest. 180 00:07:46,167 --> 00:07:48,133 Mama! 181 00:07:48,169 --> 00:07:51,136 Hi, Edie. Hey, baby. 182 00:07:51,172 --> 00:07:53,973 Yes. Mommy saw so many babies today, 183 00:07:54,008 --> 00:07:57,376 and they were all uglier and stupider than you. Mwah. 184 00:07:57,411 --> 00:07:59,144 - What up, G? - Yo. 185 00:07:59,180 --> 00:08:00,346 - Did she...? - Twice. 186 00:08:00,381 --> 00:08:01,656 - Really! - I know! Big ones. 187 00:08:01,656 --> 00:08:03,349 - Please tell me you filmed it. - Matrix style. 188 00:08:03,384 --> 00:08:05,818 Oh, rock star. Awesome. 189 00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:08,988 Oh, I totally lost her little rubber ducky. 190 00:08:09,023 --> 00:08:11,023 Oh, uh, I made one. 191 00:08:11,058 --> 00:08:13,826 You are good. 192 00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:15,094 You know, one of these days, you're gonna be 193 00:08:15,129 --> 00:08:17,096 the billionaire 3-D printing designer guy, 194 00:08:17,131 --> 00:08:19,832 and I'm gonna be like, "That's my friend." 195 00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:22,201 All right, I got to go. 196 00:08:22,236 --> 00:08:24,203 There's a really tan guy in the back of the house. 197 00:08:24,238 --> 00:08:26,539 He's hot, but he's old. Bye. 198 00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:28,407 - Okay. I'll, uh, text you. - Let's go, baby. 199 00:08:28,442 --> 00:08:30,109 And-and then... 200 00:08:33,281 --> 00:08:36,248 Okay, there-there's one reason I wanted to meet you. 201 00:08:36,284 --> 00:08:37,917 Uh, that was Vanessa. 202 00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:39,919 I would love it if she stopped thinking of me 203 00:08:39,954 --> 00:08:41,921 as a friend who happened to cause a human being 204 00:08:41,956 --> 00:08:44,056 - to pop out of her uterus... - Yucky. 205 00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:46,225 And start seeing me as someone she could actually date. 206 00:08:46,260 --> 00:08:48,294 My mom told me your whole deal, and, 207 00:08:48,329 --> 00:08:51,463 I don't know, I thought you could give me some pointers? 208 00:08:51,499 --> 00:08:54,433 Oh. Why didn't you say so? I could help you with that. 209 00:08:54,468 --> 00:08:56,035 Yeah? Come to Daddy. 210 00:08:56,070 --> 00:08:58,037 I'm gonna... I'm gonna... I'm gonna go for it. 211 00:08:58,072 --> 00:09:00,005 Come on. Okay. 212 00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:04,376 Hey, you don't think I'm too tan, do you? 213 00:09:04,412 --> 00:09:06,579 - No, you're perfect. - Oh. 214 00:09:10,269 --> 00:09:12,303 Vanessa and I worked in the same cell phone store. 215 00:09:12,338 --> 00:09:14,705 I was attracted to her fearless way, just sort of 216 00:09:14,741 --> 00:09:17,842 bulldozing through life, and she was attracted to my friend Ethan. 217 00:09:17,877 --> 00:09:18,427 Uh-huh. 218 00:09:18,452 --> 00:09:20,077 But, one night, she got her cell phone stolen 219 00:09:20,113 --> 00:09:22,747 and I helped her trace it. Finally got it back 220 00:09:22,782 --> 00:09:26,017 at 4:00 a.m. in Temecula, and then we... slept together. 221 00:09:26,052 --> 00:09:27,585 Twice. 222 00:09:27,620 --> 00:09:28,853 Just once. 223 00:09:28,888 --> 00:09:29,920 Huh. 224 00:09:32,959 --> 00:09:36,260 I'm gonna make an observation that might explain 225 00:09:36,295 --> 00:09:37,561 why Vanessa isn't attracted to you. 226 00:09:37,597 --> 00:09:39,163 Okay. 227 00:09:39,198 --> 00:09:41,332 It appears that you only have one set of clothing. 228 00:09:41,367 --> 00:09:43,701 I-I wear a green hoodie every day because thinking 229 00:09:43,736 --> 00:09:45,770 about clothes creates decision fatigue. Ah. 230 00:09:45,805 --> 00:09:47,605 That's why Mark Zuckerberg only wears gray T-shirts. 231 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:50,007 Saves you mental energy to focus on work. 232 00:09:50,043 --> 00:09:53,444 - What do you do for work? - I'm currently unemployed. 233 00:09:53,479 --> 00:09:55,346 I crush it at this. I posted a video, 234 00:09:55,381 --> 00:09:56,680 and it's the highest-rated instructional diapering video 235 00:09:56,716 --> 00:09:58,082 on YouTube. 236 00:09:58,117 --> 00:10:00,017 I'm so sorry. 237 00:10:00,053 --> 00:10:02,586 Oh, wait, you were bragging? 238 00:10:02,622 --> 00:10:04,422 Women are complicated, you know? 239 00:10:04,457 --> 00:10:07,291 They-they want men to come in and... 240 00:10:07,326 --> 00:10:10,694 and-and take what's complicated and uncomplicate it. 241 00:10:10,730 --> 00:10:14,098 Right. No, that's-that's good advice. Thank you. 242 00:10:14,133 --> 00:10:16,534 Also, you know, the G-spot... 243 00:10:16,569 --> 00:10:19,270 No. Mm-mm. No? 244 00:10:20,406 --> 00:10:22,706 Okay, where is it? 245 00:10:22,742 --> 00:10:24,208 You know, I was in love once. 246 00:10:24,243 --> 00:10:25,609 Just one time. 247 00:10:25,645 --> 00:10:27,278 I actually thought I'd marry her. 248 00:10:27,313 --> 00:10:29,747 We had these dumb little pet names for each other. 249 00:10:29,782 --> 00:10:32,450 She was Sushi, and I was Ponyboy. 250 00:10:32,485 --> 00:10:33,717 I love sushi. 251 00:10:33,753 --> 00:10:36,053 Then one day, uh, she just left. 252 00:10:36,089 --> 00:10:38,055 Sushi kind of wrecked me. 253 00:10:38,091 --> 00:10:40,057 Sounds pretty rough, Dad. 254 00:10:40,093 --> 00:10:41,425 Not ready for "Dad." Oh. 255 00:10:41,461 --> 00:10:44,061 Boy, look at the job I did on you. 256 00:10:44,097 --> 00:10:45,596 That was no ordinary diaper change. 257 00:10:45,631 --> 00:10:47,565 That was like staring into the mouth of Hell. 258 00:10:48,968 --> 00:10:50,334 What did you eat, a squirrel? 259 00:10:50,369 --> 00:10:53,337 Why are you changing that baby? 260 00:10:53,372 --> 00:10:54,839 Oh, coo, coo. Coo, coo. 261 00:10:54,874 --> 00:10:57,241 So... how am I doing? 262 00:10:57,276 --> 00:10:58,909 What? Fatherhood? 263 00:10:58,945 --> 00:11:00,277 Uh, good. 264 00:11:00,313 --> 00:11:01,779 Right? What's next? Yeah. 265 00:11:01,814 --> 00:11:03,647 Oh, uh, well, I got to go home. 266 00:11:03,683 --> 00:11:06,317 Yeah, every Friday night, I watch a movie at home with Mom. 267 00:11:06,352 --> 00:11:08,152 That's the saddest sentence I've ever heard. 268 00:11:08,187 --> 00:11:10,054 It's like a poem. 269 00:11:11,791 --> 00:11:14,125 What movie? 270 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:15,493 Daddy, look! 271 00:11:15,528 --> 00:11:17,595 Billy! 272 00:11:18,898 --> 00:11:20,764 Hold it! Hold it! 273 00:11:24,070 --> 00:11:27,972 Damn it! Deion Sanders chose Bistro 6 instead of us. 274 00:11:28,007 --> 00:11:29,773 It's a whole thing. 275 00:11:29,809 --> 00:11:31,475 Well, what? 276 00:11:31,511 --> 00:11:32,776 This scene is ridiculous, anyway. 277 00:11:32,812 --> 00:11:34,311 I mean, running a kid through traffic 278 00:11:34,347 --> 00:11:36,881 is-is more dangerous than the fall was. 279 00:11:36,916 --> 00:11:39,316 - Just call an ambulance, dummy! - Oh, my God, shut up! 280 00:11:39,352 --> 00:11:40,551 You're with me on this, right, Ger? 281 00:11:41,821 --> 00:11:43,287 For sure. 282 00:11:43,322 --> 00:11:45,890 He's a crier. 283 00:11:49,428 --> 00:11:51,162 Thanks for cleaning up, 284 00:11:51,197 --> 00:11:53,364 by which I mean handing me one glass, 285 00:11:53,399 --> 00:11:55,366 and then looking through my stuff. 286 00:11:55,401 --> 00:11:56,967 You're a therapist for other people? 287 00:11:57,003 --> 00:11:59,203 Do they know what the tattoo on your hip says? 288 00:11:59,238 --> 00:12:00,404 Oh, go away. 289 00:12:00,439 --> 00:12:02,139 All right, fine, but before I do, 290 00:12:02,175 --> 00:12:04,542 admit that I was better at this than you thought I'd be. 291 00:12:04,577 --> 00:12:07,478 If you think you deserve a trophy after one day, 292 00:12:07,513 --> 00:12:10,214 you have no idea what it means to be a parent. 293 00:12:10,249 --> 00:12:13,250 Damn it! Stop making me say lame things like that. 294 00:12:13,286 --> 00:12:15,052 I'm cool. I watch Portlandia. 295 00:12:15,087 --> 00:12:18,189 I almost went to Coachella last year until I decided not to. 296 00:12:18,224 --> 00:12:20,224 Hey, it's not my fault that I just met Gerald today. 297 00:12:20,259 --> 00:12:23,360 And by the way, that's the name you went with? Gerald? 298 00:12:23,396 --> 00:12:25,763 Okay. I'm going to bed. 299 00:12:25,798 --> 00:12:28,165 And I don't know how to say this nicely, 300 00:12:28,201 --> 00:12:30,100 but get out of my house. 301 00:12:32,939 --> 00:12:34,772 And thank you. 302 00:12:34,807 --> 00:12:36,674 For spending time with Gerald. 303 00:12:36,709 --> 00:12:39,643 Whatever your motivation was, it... it meant a lot to him. 304 00:12:41,581 --> 00:12:43,781 Now get out. 305 00:13:03,169 --> 00:13:05,451 Ian, the Lees are coming in at 9:00, 306 00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:07,517 - so open a bottle of Dominus at 8:00. - Yes, sir. 307 00:13:07,517 --> 00:13:09,934 Cindy, it's pronounced "carpaccio," not "crapachino." 308 00:13:10,935 --> 00:13:12,576 Guys, you are literally going to kill this man. 309 00:13:13,779 --> 00:13:14,745 Hi. 310 00:13:14,780 --> 00:13:16,947 Hey. Hi. 311 00:13:16,983 --> 00:13:18,749 I just came by to tell you that Vanessa and I 312 00:13:18,784 --> 00:13:20,584 are hanging out tonight, which is exciting. 313 00:13:20,620 --> 00:13:21,986 Attaboy. 314 00:13:22,021 --> 00:13:23,554 And, um, I know it's last minute, 315 00:13:23,589 --> 00:13:24,989 but could you watch Edie for me? 316 00:13:25,024 --> 00:13:27,491 Really? You trust me enough to do that? 317 00:13:27,526 --> 00:13:29,093 Well, I've literally tried everyone I know. 318 00:13:29,128 --> 00:13:31,262 But, also, I trust you. Yeah. 319 00:13:31,297 --> 00:13:32,663 It'll be really easy. 320 00:13:32,698 --> 00:13:34,164 She'll be asleep the whole time. 321 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:35,866 You won't have to do anything. Please? 322 00:13:37,036 --> 00:13:38,002 I'd love to. 323 00:13:38,037 --> 00:13:39,922 - Thanks. - Yeah. All right. Okay. 324 00:13:39,947 --> 00:13:41,272 - Great. - Knock 'em dead. 325 00:13:41,307 --> 00:13:43,140 - And change your clothes. - Okay. 326 00:13:46,646 --> 00:13:47,911 You're a wolf. 327 00:13:47,947 --> 00:13:48,912 Do you want this? 328 00:13:48,948 --> 00:13:49,680 Want the bottle? 329 00:13:52,985 --> 00:13:54,351 What word is this? 330 00:13:54,387 --> 00:13:56,420 "C" and an "A." 331 00:13:56,455 --> 00:13:58,088 Oh. 332 00:13:58,124 --> 00:13:59,823 You are cute. 333 00:13:59,859 --> 00:14:01,659 You know, you're cuter than other babies. 334 00:14:01,694 --> 00:14:03,093 You know why? 335 00:14:03,129 --> 00:14:04,495 'Cause you have my dimple. 336 00:14:04,530 --> 00:14:06,797 Your dad has a dimple, 337 00:14:06,832 --> 00:14:09,600 but on him, it looks like a pock mark. Yeah. 338 00:14:09,635 --> 00:14:12,036 Can you give me a kiss? 339 00:14:18,678 --> 00:14:20,544 Did you just kiss me? 340 00:14:20,579 --> 00:14:22,680 Did you just kiss me? 341 00:14:22,715 --> 00:14:24,481 Hold on one second. 342 00:14:24,517 --> 00:14:26,717 Hey, bro, Deion Sanders is here. 343 00:14:26,752 --> 00:14:27,718 He showed? 344 00:14:27,753 --> 00:14:28,719 He brought everyone. 345 00:14:28,754 --> 00:14:30,454 The whole entourage is here. 346 00:14:30,489 --> 00:14:32,723 Word is Lil Wayne and Don Rickles are gonna be here, too. 347 00:14:32,758 --> 00:14:33,991 No one's ever said that sentence before. 348 00:14:34,026 --> 00:14:35,359 Dude, you've got to get over here. 349 00:14:35,394 --> 00:14:36,694 You know Annelise is no good with humans. 350 00:14:36,729 --> 00:14:38,395 I can't. I'm babysitting. 351 00:14:38,431 --> 00:14:40,831 Figure something out! It's happening now! 352 00:14:42,268 --> 00:14:44,568 Deion Sanders, Jimmy Martino. 353 00:14:44,603 --> 00:14:46,337 Happy birthday, my friend. 354 00:14:46,372 --> 00:14:48,505 Jimmy! I didn't think you were gonna make it. 355 00:14:48,541 --> 00:14:49,873 Oh, are you kidding? Who's more important 356 00:14:49,909 --> 00:14:50,874 - than Day Time? - Prime Time. 357 00:14:50,910 --> 00:14:52,276 Prime Time. 358 00:14:55,281 --> 00:14:57,581 Oh, hell no. 359 00:15:04,317 --> 00:15:06,417 You're so funny and good-looking. 360 00:15:06,453 --> 00:15:07,886 You brought the baby here? 361 00:15:07,921 --> 00:15:10,054 Shh. Excuse me, Deion. 362 00:15:10,090 --> 00:15:12,390 I had to. This is too important. 363 00:15:12,425 --> 00:15:13,925 We used to be the cool new place. 364 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:15,460 We used to be Bistro 6. 365 00:15:15,495 --> 00:15:17,295 I used to be Bistro 6. 366 00:15:17,330 --> 00:15:20,031 We were here. Now we're here. 367 00:15:20,066 --> 00:15:21,917 You carry around an old photo of yourself? 368 00:15:21,942 --> 00:15:22,534 You don't? 369 00:15:22,569 --> 00:15:24,068 - No. - I have two goals tonight. 370 00:15:24,104 --> 00:15:25,470 One... keep the baby alive. 371 00:15:25,505 --> 00:15:27,038 Two... get a picture of me and Sanders 372 00:15:27,073 --> 00:15:28,873 that we can vomit all over the Internet, okay? 373 00:15:28,909 --> 00:15:31,409 - Ready? On three. - Get therapy. 374 00:15:31,444 --> 00:15:33,878 Three. 375 00:15:33,914 --> 00:15:35,980 Deion, I was wondering if you and I could get a picture together. 376 00:15:36,016 --> 00:15:37,549 Give me a minute. Let me check out the menu. 377 00:15:37,584 --> 00:15:41,119 Oh, excuse me one second. 378 00:15:42,289 --> 00:15:43,621 Damn it! 379 00:15:43,657 --> 00:15:45,924 I'll be right back. 380 00:15:45,959 --> 00:15:49,894 Sleep tight, Squid. Sleep tight, Whale. 381 00:15:49,930 --> 00:15:52,430 Don Rickles showed, too. Here, take a picture. 382 00:15:52,465 --> 00:15:53,798 Hello, Mr. Rickles. 383 00:15:53,833 --> 00:15:56,334 Deion, how about a big shot? Ready? 384 00:15:56,369 --> 00:15:58,803 Not of yourself. Of us. 385 00:15:58,838 --> 00:15:59,804 Oh. 386 00:15:59,839 --> 00:16:01,172 Ready? Smi... 387 00:16:01,208 --> 00:16:02,640 Ugh. 388 00:16:02,676 --> 00:16:04,909 Hold on one second, sir. 389 00:16:04,945 --> 00:16:07,278 How long... how long have you had this problem? 390 00:16:09,149 --> 00:16:10,615 It's almost like she hasn't slept 391 00:16:10,650 --> 00:16:12,250 in a restaurant kitchen before. 392 00:16:12,285 --> 00:16:14,419 I'm gonna play a baby CD. 393 00:16:14,454 --> 00:16:16,287 How does this thing play in here? 394 00:16:17,657 --> 00:16:19,857 What is that? 395 00:16:19,893 --> 00:16:22,794 Round and round. Round and... Here. 396 00:16:24,231 --> 00:16:26,497 Go like this. 397 00:16:27,834 --> 00:16:29,968 Good. 398 00:16:30,003 --> 00:16:31,469 Now Lil Wayne just showed up. 399 00:16:31,504 --> 00:16:32,870 It's getting weirder. 400 00:16:32,906 --> 00:16:34,706 Get the picture. Hi, guys. 401 00:16:34,741 --> 00:16:36,107 Let me get a quick picture of the four of us. 402 00:16:36,142 --> 00:16:37,775 This'll be great. Go. Yeah. 403 00:16:40,313 --> 00:16:41,713 Stay right there. 404 00:16:41,748 --> 00:16:43,147 I'll be right back. Hi! 405 00:16:43,183 --> 00:16:44,148 Oh, come... oh, come here, you little... 406 00:16:44,184 --> 00:16:45,516 Come, come... oh! 407 00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:49,821 You don't want one of those, do you? 408 00:16:52,559 --> 00:16:54,359 Oh... yes... 409 00:16:54,394 --> 00:16:56,160 Let me see. 410 00:16:56,196 --> 00:16:58,029 Look at me. You feel a little warm. 411 00:17:01,167 --> 00:17:03,334 - Why isn't anyone picking up? - And why do you have 412 00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:05,336 - a meat thermometer in her butt? - That's the meat thermometer? 413 00:17:05,372 --> 00:17:06,671 People are meat. 414 00:17:06,706 --> 00:17:08,406 It's okay, baby. It's okay. 415 00:17:10,510 --> 00:17:12,644 103. That's normal, right? 416 00:17:12,679 --> 00:17:14,078 Dude, that's actually really high. 417 00:17:14,114 --> 00:17:16,414 Oh, no. Oh, no. 418 00:17:16,449 --> 00:17:18,416 Okay, come here, baby. Come on, baby. Come on. 419 00:17:18,451 --> 00:17:19,917 Where are you going? 420 00:17:19,953 --> 00:17:22,153 Hospital! And wash that thermometer! 421 00:17:22,188 --> 00:17:23,755 Throw away that thermometer. 422 00:17:23,790 --> 00:17:25,256 But this thing cost, like, 20 bucks. 423 00:17:30,897 --> 00:17:32,230 Move it! Excuse me. 424 00:17:32,265 --> 00:17:33,898 Where's the valet?! 425 00:17:33,933 --> 00:17:35,533 Where's Rico? Where's...? 426 00:17:35,568 --> 00:17:37,268 Forget it. 427 00:17:37,304 --> 00:17:38,803 Hey, watch it! 428 00:17:41,207 --> 00:17:44,509 - Jimmy? - Oh, hey... you. 429 00:17:44,544 --> 00:17:46,244 It's okay. 430 00:17:46,279 --> 00:17:48,479 It's okay, Edie. 431 00:17:49,749 --> 00:17:52,083 Lindsay. Her name was Lindsay. 432 00:17:55,989 --> 00:17:58,122 Quick, I need a doctor. 433 00:17:58,158 --> 00:18:00,291 - She's burning up. - I'm a doctor. Are you the father? 434 00:18:00,327 --> 00:18:01,926 No, no, I'm not her father. I'm... 435 00:18:01,961 --> 00:18:03,361 I'm her grandfather. 436 00:18:03,396 --> 00:18:05,029 Okay, let me take her for some tests. 437 00:18:05,065 --> 00:18:07,098 Go fill out a form and have a seat. 438 00:18:07,133 --> 00:18:09,434 - No, I need to stay with her. - I'm sorry. You have to wait here. 439 00:18:09,469 --> 00:18:11,436 You look a little young for a doctor. 440 00:18:11,471 --> 00:18:12,804 Could you get someone older? 441 00:18:12,839 --> 00:18:14,405 Asian, if you got it. 442 00:18:14,441 --> 00:18:16,974 Dr. Morris, dial 118, please. 443 00:18:18,812 --> 00:18:21,913 I screwed up, Sara, just like you knew I would. 444 00:18:21,948 --> 00:18:23,915 I'm 50 freaking years old, 445 00:18:23,950 --> 00:18:26,718 and I'm still the same guy you didn't trust 25 years ago. 446 00:18:26,753 --> 00:18:29,153 I wanted to be good at this, I really did, but... 447 00:18:29,189 --> 00:18:31,956 I just don't know how. 448 00:18:31,991 --> 00:18:34,425 She's gonna be fine. 449 00:18:38,031 --> 00:18:39,731 When Gerald was a baby, 450 00:18:39,766 --> 00:18:42,066 I was buckling him into his car seat, 451 00:18:42,102 --> 00:18:43,968 and it was a really hot day. 452 00:18:44,003 --> 00:18:46,771 I got distracted, and the buckle burned him. 453 00:18:48,141 --> 00:18:49,741 He was four months old. 454 00:18:49,776 --> 00:18:52,810 I swear, he looked right at me and gave me the finger. 455 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:57,115 That was our first trip to the E.R. 456 00:18:57,150 --> 00:19:00,518 Parenthood is pretty much an endless string of moments 457 00:19:00,553 --> 00:19:02,854 where you think you've killed your kid. 458 00:19:02,889 --> 00:19:05,523 I hate this feeling. 459 00:19:05,558 --> 00:19:08,359 I mean, suddenly, I'm not just worrying about myself. 460 00:19:08,395 --> 00:19:10,528 I'm actually worrying about someone I care about. 461 00:19:11,998 --> 00:19:14,832 - Ugh. - What? 462 00:19:14,868 --> 00:19:18,636 For, like, two seconds there, you reminded me why I dated you. 463 00:19:18,671 --> 00:19:21,038 - Yeah? - Mm-hmm. 464 00:19:23,977 --> 00:19:25,777 You know, we still... 465 00:19:25,812 --> 00:19:27,879 - That is never gonna happen. - All right. 466 00:19:30,717 --> 00:19:32,717 - Want some coffee? - Yes. 467 00:19:34,587 --> 00:19:37,188 She's fine. It's just a fever, and it's already going down. 468 00:19:37,223 --> 00:19:38,623 I'm gonna go get her ready, 469 00:19:38,658 --> 00:19:39,991 so just wait here. 470 00:19:40,026 --> 00:19:41,025 Thank you. 471 00:19:42,228 --> 00:19:43,461 What happened? What did I miss? 472 00:19:43,496 --> 00:19:44,796 She needs a liver transplant, 473 00:19:44,831 --> 00:19:46,063 and you're the only match. 474 00:19:46,099 --> 00:19:48,900 - All right. I'm in. - They needed to know 475 00:19:48,935 --> 00:19:51,536 a couple of things first. Do you dye your hair? 476 00:19:51,571 --> 00:19:53,137 It's not dye. It's colorizing cream. 477 00:19:53,173 --> 00:19:55,306 Have you had Botox? Yes, but not on my face. 478 00:19:55,341 --> 00:19:57,542 Then where? 479 00:19:57,577 --> 00:20:00,878 Ah. Good one. 480 00:20:00,914 --> 00:20:01,979 Okay, guys, 481 00:20:02,015 --> 00:20:03,181 she's ready. Come on back. 482 00:20:06,019 --> 00:20:07,752 Well, at least Edie's okay. 483 00:20:07,787 --> 00:20:10,521 You know, don't even talk to me, you irresponsible ass. 484 00:20:10,557 --> 00:20:12,089 Tonight just confirmed everything 485 00:20:12,125 --> 00:20:14,425 my mom ever said about you. 486 00:20:14,461 --> 00:20:16,093 How'd the date go? 487 00:20:16,129 --> 00:20:18,062 Good. She liked my clothes. Yeah. 488 00:20:24,070 --> 00:20:25,736 Hey, slow down in the house! 489 00:20:28,641 --> 00:20:30,074 It's milk. 490 00:20:32,145 --> 00:20:34,378 Dinner is served, everybody. 491 00:20:54,067 --> 00:20:56,701 I think we'll do it here. 492 00:20:58,471 --> 00:21:01,105 All right, well, be careful where you put that. 493 00:21:13,319 --> 00:21:15,302 That's a forever stain. 494 00:21:15,326 --> 00:21:18,326 Sync and corrections by squallounet www.addic7ed.com