1
00:00:03,353 --> 00:00:05,386
What a wonderful day, thank you.
2
00:00:05,387 --> 00:00:06,820
Oh, we're glad
you had fun.
3
00:00:06,822 --> 00:00:09,322
Blue Icees and a trip
to The Container Store?
4
00:00:09,324 --> 00:00:11,958
It's like I died and went
to the post-mortem,
5
00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:16,363
neuron-induced hallucination
commonly mistaken as heaven.
6
00:00:16,365 --> 00:00:18,465
I still don't understand
why you bought that pill caddie.
7
00:00:18,467 --> 00:00:19,633
You're a young man.
8
00:00:19,635 --> 00:00:22,035
Age is a state of
mind, Leonard.
9
00:00:22,037 --> 00:00:24,104
In here I'm 90.
10
00:00:26,575 --> 00:00:29,509
Why are you taking
your bins over there?
11
00:00:29,511 --> 00:00:31,011
That's just where
I need them.
12
00:00:31,013 --> 00:00:33,013
You know, she doesn't have
a lot of closet space.
13
00:00:33,015 --> 00:00:35,048
What's wrong with your closet?
14
00:00:35,050 --> 00:00:36,583
Uh...
15
00:00:36,585 --> 00:00:38,318
Well, honey, you know,
16
00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:39,886
now that Leonard and I
are married,
17
00:00:39,888 --> 00:00:42,823
it kind of makes sense
that we actually live together.
18
00:00:42,825 --> 00:00:44,591
So that's all this day was?
19
00:00:44,593 --> 00:00:47,427
A plan to butter me up
before delivering bad news?
20
00:00:47,429 --> 00:00:49,429
Come on, buddy.
No, I thought we were friends.
21
00:00:49,431 --> 00:00:51,698
You asked for a sip of my Icee.
22
00:00:51,700 --> 00:00:54,768
If you had your own straw,
I might've said yes.
23
00:00:54,770 --> 00:00:58,338
Sheldon, please, we already
feel bad about this.
24
00:00:58,340 --> 00:01:00,307
You know what they don't sell
at The Container Store?
25
00:01:00,309 --> 00:01:02,909
Something large enough
to contain my disappointment.
26
00:01:04,813 --> 00:01:06,012
Although,
27
00:01:06,014 --> 00:01:08,982
if anyone did, it would be them.
28
00:01:08,984 --> 00:01:12,619
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
29
00:01:12,621 --> 00:01:15,956
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
30
00:01:15,958 --> 00:01:17,591
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
31
00:01:17,593 --> 00:01:20,127
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
32
00:01:20,129 --> 00:01:22,796
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
33
00:01:22,798 --> 00:01:25,465
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
34
00:01:25,467 --> 00:01:27,367
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
35
00:01:27,369 --> 00:01:29,305
♪ Bang! ♪
36
00:01:29,306 --> 00:01:33,306
♪ The Big Bang Theory 9x04 ♪
Ihe 2003 Approximation
Original Air Date on October 12,
37
00:01:33,307 --> 00:01:38,307
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
38
00:01:38,308 --> 00:01:40,842
Thank you for letting
me come speak with you.
39
00:01:40,844 --> 00:01:42,477
Of course.
40
00:01:42,479 --> 00:01:44,613
As my relationships
with Penny and Amy
41
00:01:44,615 --> 00:01:46,681
are currently strained,
I'm turning to you
42
00:01:46,683 --> 00:01:48,583
for female comfort
and encouragement.
43
00:01:48,585 --> 00:01:50,118
Aww.
44
00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:52,053
I'm honored.
I tried
45
00:01:52,055 --> 00:01:54,322
reaching out to my mother,
but she was in Bible study.
46
00:01:54,324 --> 00:01:56,191
Leonard's mother
is on a book tour.
47
00:01:56,193 --> 00:01:57,659
My Mee-Maw was taking a nap,
48
00:01:57,661 --> 00:02:00,629
and after a while Siri
started repeating her answers.
49
00:02:01,465 --> 00:02:04,132
So, I'm your seventh choice.
50
00:02:04,134 --> 00:02:07,369
Yeah, I know, top ten,
pretty exciting.
51
00:02:07,371 --> 00:02:09,905
How can I help you?
52
00:02:09,907 --> 00:02:11,806
Well, in addition
to Amy leaving me,
53
00:02:11,808 --> 00:02:13,909
Leonard's moving in with Penny.
54
00:02:13,911 --> 00:02:16,912
It's difficult
not to feel abandoned.
55
00:02:16,914 --> 00:02:20,181
Well, why don't you look at this
as an opportunity?
56
00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:22,417
You had other roommates
before Leonard.
57
00:02:22,419 --> 00:02:23,718
Maybe this is a chance
58
00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:25,120
to find someone new.
59
00:02:25,122 --> 00:02:27,622
Perhaps I could find someone
better than Leonard.
60
00:02:27,624 --> 00:02:30,292
Someone I can rub in his face.
61
00:02:30,294 --> 00:02:32,827
Chris Pratt's
all the rage right now.
62
00:02:33,730 --> 00:02:34,729
I wonder how he'd feel
63
00:02:34,731 --> 00:02:37,232
about taking
the smaller bedroom.
64
00:02:37,234 --> 00:02:39,167
Hey.
Hey.
65
00:02:39,169 --> 00:02:42,404
You know who would be
the perfect roommate?
66
00:02:43,774 --> 00:02:46,741
Gandalf, but he's a smoker.
67
00:02:46,743 --> 00:02:48,777
Stuart.
68
00:02:48,779 --> 00:02:50,345
He's been living with us
for a while now.
69
00:02:50,347 --> 00:02:52,247
I'm sure he'd love
to get us out of his hair.
70
00:02:52,249 --> 00:02:54,716
Nope, couldn't be happier.
71
00:02:54,718 --> 00:02:56,351
Well, Sheldon's looking
for a...
72
00:02:56,353 --> 00:02:59,454
Nope.
73
00:02:59,456 --> 00:03:01,690
He'll think about it.
No I won't!
74
00:03:04,061 --> 00:03:05,694
Have you seen
this Archie comic?
75
00:03:05,696 --> 00:03:08,730
It's actually
Archie versus Predator.
76
00:03:08,732 --> 00:03:11,266
How could Archie
defeat Predator?
77
00:03:11,268 --> 00:03:12,500
I don't know.
78
00:03:12,502 --> 00:03:14,903
Maybe Jughead's a Terminator.
79
00:03:16,073 --> 00:03:19,140
Hey.
Hey, Stuart.
80
00:03:19,142 --> 00:03:21,009
Do you guys know any musicians?
81
00:03:21,011 --> 00:03:21,977
Why?
82
00:03:21,979 --> 00:03:23,345
I was thinking it might be cool
83
00:03:23,347 --> 00:03:25,880
to have live music here
a few nights a week.
84
00:03:25,882 --> 00:03:27,315
You know, give
this place more
85
00:03:27,317 --> 00:03:29,384
of a "staying in business" vibe.
86
00:03:29,386 --> 00:03:32,721
What kind of music
are you thinking of?
87
00:03:32,723 --> 00:03:37,125
I like all kinds of music,
but my favorite genre is free.
88
00:03:37,995 --> 00:03:39,060
Hey, we've always talked
89
00:03:39,062 --> 00:03:40,161
about playing together.
90
00:03:40,163 --> 00:03:41,463
Well, it could be fun
91
00:03:41,465 --> 00:03:42,564
to try a little acoustic thing.
92
00:03:42,566 --> 00:03:44,532
Oh, we could play
"filk" music.
93
00:03:44,534 --> 00:03:46,134
What's that?
94
00:03:46,136 --> 00:03:47,602
It's been around for years.
95
00:03:47,604 --> 00:03:51,339
It's like folk music,
but with a sci-fi/fantasy theme.
96
00:03:51,341 --> 00:03:52,540
I like it.
97
00:03:52,542 --> 00:03:53,742
It sounds exactly like something
98
00:03:53,744 --> 00:03:56,144
I shouldn't be expected
to pay for.
99
00:03:56,146 --> 00:03:58,113
Dude, if we do this,
100
00:03:58,115 --> 00:03:59,948
we're gonna need
a cool band name.
101
00:03:59,950 --> 00:04:01,750
You know, I've actually
(chuckles)
102
00:04:01,752 --> 00:04:04,352
had one I've been
sitting on for years.
103
00:04:04,354 --> 00:04:05,520
Really?
104
00:04:05,522 --> 00:04:06,888
It was for this power trio
105
00:04:06,890 --> 00:04:08,690
I tried to put together
in junior high,
106
00:04:08,692 --> 00:04:11,259
but I was short two friends.
107
00:04:11,261 --> 00:04:12,861
What is it?
108
00:04:12,863 --> 00:04:15,664
Footprints on the Moon.
109
00:04:17,534 --> 00:04:20,802
I just got chills.
110
00:04:20,804 --> 00:04:22,470
So did I.
111
00:04:22,472 --> 00:04:24,005
Me, too.
112
00:04:24,007 --> 00:04:27,208
But I-I might have Lyme Disease.
113
00:04:29,546 --> 00:04:31,913
Just a few more signatures,
and we'll be finished.
114
00:04:31,915 --> 00:04:35,350
Initial here to acknowledge
that you've returned your key.
115
00:04:38,488 --> 00:04:40,321
Okay.
116
00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:42,357
As my future neighbor,
117
00:04:42,359 --> 00:04:45,193
I'd like you to have a key.
118
00:04:47,130 --> 00:04:51,566
Initial here to acknowledge
you received it.
119
00:04:51,568 --> 00:04:54,002
I'm proud of you.
You're taking this really well.
120
00:04:54,004 --> 00:04:55,843
Well, it's not like I'm never
going to see you two again.
121
00:04:55,867 --> 00:04:58,995
Which brings us to
article 23 subsection C--
122
00:04:59,290 --> 00:05:01,523
please check here
to reserve your spot
123
00:05:01,525 --> 00:05:04,208
at the ten year
roommate reunion.
124
00:05:05,158 --> 00:05:06,770
Do I really have to do that now?
125
00:05:07,272 --> 00:05:08,605
No, but if you want chicken
126
00:05:08,607 --> 00:05:11,040
and get stuck with the fish,year
that's on you.
127
00:05:12,244 --> 00:05:13,643
All right.
128
00:05:13,645 --> 00:05:15,478
Oh, and lastly,
129
00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:17,313
please initial here to confirm
130
00:05:17,315 --> 00:05:18,815
that ownership
of the living room couch
131
00:05:18,817 --> 00:05:20,016
is hereby transferred to me
132
00:05:20,018 --> 00:05:22,018
in perpetuity
all throughout the universe
133
00:05:22,020 --> 00:05:23,887
and all alternate universes
134
00:05:23,889 --> 00:05:25,989
except for those universes
where owning a couch
135
00:05:25,991 --> 00:05:27,624
is forbidden by the hive queen.
136
00:05:27,626 --> 00:05:29,793
In which case,
all glory to the hive queen.
137
00:05:32,697 --> 00:05:34,397
All right,
now all that's left
138
00:05:34,399 --> 00:05:37,100
is for us to sign
and date the document,
139
00:05:37,102 --> 00:05:40,503
and we will officially
no longer be roommates.
140
00:05:44,242 --> 00:05:45,542
What's the matter?
141
00:05:45,544 --> 00:05:47,677
It's harder than I thought.
142
00:05:47,679 --> 00:05:49,145
Let me help you.
143
00:05:49,147 --> 00:05:50,146
L-E-O-N...
144
00:05:50,148 --> 00:05:52,582
That helped.
145
00:05:53,718 --> 00:05:56,352
So I have an idea
for a filk song.
146
00:05:56,354 --> 00:05:57,921
Kind of a,
147
00:05:57,923 --> 00:06:00,757
a power ballad,
superhero crossover tale
148
00:06:00,759 --> 00:06:02,959
of epic proportions.
149
00:06:02,961 --> 00:06:04,928
Is it cold in here,
150
00:06:04,930 --> 00:06:07,630
'cause, oh, my.
151
00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:12,635
Okay, so it's a, it's a
David and Goliath story.
152
00:06:12,637 --> 00:06:14,804
It's about man against God.
153
00:06:14,806 --> 00:06:17,640
It's called "Hammer and Whip:
154
00:06:17,642 --> 00:06:18,875
"The Untold Story
155
00:06:18,877 --> 00:06:22,679
of Thor versus Indiana Jones."
156
00:06:24,482 --> 00:06:26,816
Thor versus Indiana Jones?
157
00:06:26,818 --> 00:06:29,752
You just blew my filking mind.
158
00:06:29,754 --> 00:06:32,388
Okay, I don't have it
all worked out yet,
159
00:06:32,390 --> 00:06:35,091
but I was thinking
something like, um...
160
00:06:35,093 --> 00:06:37,360
♪ Oh, Indy ♪
161
00:06:37,362 --> 00:06:39,662
♪ Oh, Indy ♪
162
00:06:39,664 --> 00:06:43,833
♪ The skies are so windy ♪
163
00:06:44,936 --> 00:06:48,571
♪ Is that a flying man
with a killer bod? ♪
164
00:06:48,573 --> 00:06:49,839
♪ Wait ♪
165
00:06:49,841 --> 00:06:51,040
♪ That's no man ♪
166
00:06:51,042 --> 00:06:54,344
♪ It's a Norse god. ♪
167
00:06:55,213 --> 00:06:57,480
Oh yes, definitely.
168
00:06:57,482 --> 00:06:59,682
Hang on.
169
00:06:59,684 --> 00:07:06,422
♪ Thunder clapped as Thor
raised his mighty hammer ♪
170
00:07:06,424 --> 00:07:13,263
♪ Indy rapped,
"That's one bad mamma-jamma." ♪
171
00:07:14,232 --> 00:07:15,698
That-that is so good!
172
00:07:15,700 --> 00:07:16,766
Right?
173
00:07:16,768 --> 00:07:18,968
Mamma-jamma just came to me.
174
00:07:20,138 --> 00:07:21,571
Okay, and here's the hook.
175
00:07:21,573 --> 00:07:24,774
♪ Thor and Dr. Jones ♪
176
00:07:24,776 --> 00:07:27,543
♪ Thor and Dr. Jones ♪
177
00:07:27,545 --> 00:07:29,145
♪ One plays with lightning ♪
178
00:07:29,147 --> 00:07:33,449
♪ The other plays with bones ♪
179
00:07:33,451 --> 00:07:36,119
BOTH:
♪ Thor and Dr. Jones ♪
180
00:07:36,121 --> 00:07:39,122
(harmonizing):
♪ Thor and Dr. Jones ♪
181
00:07:39,124 --> 00:07:40,957
♪ One plays with lightning ♪
182
00:07:40,959 --> 00:07:43,693
♪ The other plays with bones. ♪
183
00:07:47,098 --> 00:07:48,598
Oh, man, that rocks.
184
00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,154
Hey, remember
The Ark of the Covenant?
185
00:07:50,155 --> 00:07:50,844
Yeah?
186
00:07:50,868 --> 00:07:53,019
That's how much we're
gonna melt people's faces off.
187
00:07:56,441 --> 00:07:59,275
I appreciate your interest
in the apartment.
188
00:07:59,277 --> 00:08:01,678
I just need to ask you
a few standard questions.
189
00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:03,313
Sure.
It says here you're a chemist.
190
00:08:03,315 --> 00:08:06,616
Which element
on the periodic table
191
00:08:06,618 --> 00:08:10,453
do you feel is too big
for its britches?
192
00:08:11,756 --> 00:08:13,790
Is that supposed to be a joke?
193
00:08:13,792 --> 00:08:16,392
Looks like argon's not
the only one
194
00:08:16,394 --> 00:08:19,062
with an attitude problem.
195
00:08:19,064 --> 00:08:20,563
In general,
196
00:08:20,565 --> 00:08:23,099
would you say
that you smell better, worse
197
00:08:23,101 --> 00:08:26,836
or the same as you do right now?
198
00:08:28,340 --> 00:08:29,672
I was going to ask you
199
00:08:29,674 --> 00:08:31,407
what is the best fruit,
200
00:08:31,409 --> 00:08:33,242
but then I realized
what I want to ask you
201
00:08:33,244 --> 00:08:35,678
is why is there a Band-Aid
on your forearm,
202
00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:36,612
but then I realized what
203
00:08:36,614 --> 00:08:37,981
I really want to ask you is
204
00:08:37,983 --> 00:08:39,983
just can you just go?
205
00:08:41,519 --> 00:08:43,252
You're healthy.
206
00:08:43,254 --> 00:08:45,054
You have a job in the sciences.
207
00:08:45,056 --> 00:08:47,623
I've got to say, if this
credit report comes back good,
208
00:08:47,625 --> 00:08:49,158
you're the frontrunner.
209
00:08:53,832 --> 00:08:55,698
I'm not gonna be
your roommate, Sheldon.
210
00:08:55,700 --> 00:08:58,334
But I met with 11 people,
211
00:08:58,336 --> 00:08:59,802
and they all walked out.
212
00:08:59,804 --> 00:09:01,537
And that Hollywood phony
Chris Pratt
213
00:09:01,539 --> 00:09:03,406
never tweeted me back.
214
00:09:03,408 --> 00:09:06,175
I'm sure you'll find
somebody else.
215
00:09:06,177 --> 00:09:08,011
I suppose.
216
00:09:08,013 --> 00:09:09,412
What happened to me, Amy?
217
00:09:09,414 --> 00:09:10,546
Years ago I was
218
00:09:10,548 --> 00:09:12,882
completely disengaged
from my feelings.
219
00:09:12,884 --> 00:09:14,450
I'd say it was a happier time,
220
00:09:14,452 --> 00:09:18,421
but I was disengaged from
my feelings, so who can tell?
221
00:09:18,423 --> 00:09:20,757
I don't know how to help you.
222
00:09:20,759 --> 00:09:23,059
You know,
feelings are a part of life.
223
00:09:23,061 --> 00:09:24,694
They didn't used to be.
224
00:09:24,696 --> 00:09:26,396
You and Leonard and Penny,
225
00:09:26,398 --> 00:09:28,498
you all poisoned me
with emotions.
226
00:09:28,500 --> 00:09:30,633
I was like the Tin Man,
perfectly content
227
00:09:30,635 --> 00:09:32,969
until that evil Wizard
gave him a heart.
228
00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:38,241
I don't think that was
the point of the movie.
229
00:09:38,243 --> 00:09:39,709
Fine, then I was like Pinocchio
230
00:09:39,711 --> 00:09:43,312
before that jerk Geppetto
went and made him a real boy.
231
00:09:43,314 --> 00:09:45,515
There you go.
232
00:09:47,719 --> 00:09:49,385
So, what are you
thinking for dinner?
233
00:09:49,387 --> 00:09:50,486
Well, it's Thai food night.
234
00:09:50,488 --> 00:09:51,587
Well, honey,
235
00:09:51,589 --> 00:09:52,922
you don't live
with Sheldon anymore.
236
00:09:52,924 --> 00:09:54,524
You can have anything you want.
237
00:09:54,526 --> 00:09:56,859
You're right.
238
00:09:56,861 --> 00:09:58,227
But what?
239
00:09:59,197 --> 00:10:00,263
Mexican?
240
00:10:00,265 --> 00:10:01,664
Italian? German?
241
00:10:01,666 --> 00:10:02,999
Indian? Greek?
242
00:10:03,001 --> 00:10:04,233
Cuban? Chinese?
243
00:10:04,235 --> 00:10:05,234
Pizza? Barbecue?
244
00:10:05,236 --> 00:10:08,204
Korean? Korean barbecue?
245
00:10:09,007 --> 00:10:10,173
How about Thai food?
246
00:10:10,175 --> 00:10:12,041
Oh, thank God
247
00:10:15,046 --> 00:10:17,280
Hey, we're going to dinner.
You want to come?
248
00:10:17,282 --> 00:10:18,948
Oh, I wish I could,
249
00:10:18,950 --> 00:10:22,151
but I realized I've become
too emotionally vulnerable,
250
00:10:22,153 --> 00:10:24,153
so, like an operating system,
251
00:10:24,155 --> 00:10:27,256
I'm restoring my life
to the last stable version,
252
00:10:27,258 --> 00:10:30,593
which was in 2003,
the day before I met Leonard.
253
00:10:32,063 --> 00:10:33,863
You heard him, no.
254
00:10:33,865 --> 00:10:35,164
Hang on.
255
00:10:35,166 --> 00:10:37,467
Wait, you actually
think it's 2003?
256
00:10:37,469 --> 00:10:39,469
No, just because
I'm living my life
257
00:10:39,471 --> 00:10:41,904
like it was 12 years ago
doesn't mean I'm delusional.
258
00:10:41,906 --> 00:10:43,639
And since it is 2003,
259
00:10:43,641 --> 00:10:45,441
I don't know who you are,
260
00:10:45,443 --> 00:10:47,376
so please exit the premises
261
00:10:47,378 --> 00:10:50,012
before I call the police
on my stylish new flip phone.
262
00:11:05,312 --> 00:11:07,079
Are you doing okay?
263
00:11:07,081 --> 00:11:08,547
I guess.
264
00:11:08,549 --> 00:11:10,782
I'm just, you know,
worried about Sheldon.
265
00:11:10,784 --> 00:11:12,651
Well, come on,
he's a grown man in his 30s
266
00:11:12,653 --> 00:11:14,286
pretending to be
a grown man in his 20s.
267
00:11:14,288 --> 00:11:15,487
He's fine.
268
00:11:16,290 --> 00:11:18,657
I hope so.
269
00:11:18,659 --> 00:11:20,692
What else can you do?
Move back in with him?
270
00:11:20,694 --> 00:11:22,194
No, of course not.
I-I just feel bad.
271
00:11:22,196 --> 00:11:23,361
Well, so do I,
272
00:11:23,363 --> 00:11:25,731
but don't you want to live
with your wife
273
00:11:25,733 --> 00:11:27,265
and set the thermostat
274
00:11:27,267 --> 00:11:28,366
to whatever you want
275
00:11:28,368 --> 00:11:29,901
and have your body tell you
276
00:11:29,903 --> 00:11:31,570
when it's time to go
to the bathroom,
277
00:11:31,572 --> 00:11:32,604
you know, not a schedule slipped
278
00:11:32,606 --> 00:11:35,140
underneath your door
every morning?
279
00:11:35,142 --> 00:11:38,376
I did like that he had
the weather on it.
280
00:11:39,847 --> 00:11:41,980
Trust me,
this is the right thing.
281
00:11:41,982 --> 00:11:43,215
I know.
282
00:11:43,217 --> 00:11:44,816
And it's not like
we're abandoning him.
283
00:11:44,818 --> 00:11:45,984
Plus,
284
00:11:45,986 --> 00:11:48,320
we can FaceTime him
whenever we want,
285
00:11:48,322 --> 00:11:52,257
you know, once iPhones
are invented in his universe.
286
00:11:55,596 --> 00:11:58,230
I can't believe Sheldon
287
00:11:58,232 --> 00:11:59,564
asked you to be his roommate.
288
00:11:59,566 --> 00:12:03,201
I can't believe
he ran my credit.
289
00:12:03,203 --> 00:12:05,704
Hey, if you're open to living
with someone great,
290
00:12:05,706 --> 00:12:08,173
I'll give you $1,000
to take Stuart.
291
00:12:09,209 --> 00:12:11,109
You really should've gone
on the Internet
292
00:12:11,111 --> 00:12:13,044
and checked how long
that kind of thing lives
293
00:12:13,046 --> 00:12:14,946
before you got one.
294
00:12:14,948 --> 00:12:16,515
I'm sorry.
295
00:12:16,517 --> 00:12:17,716
I just thought you might have
296
00:12:17,718 --> 00:12:20,685
a pasty, weirdo-shaped hole
in your life.
297
00:12:20,687 --> 00:12:23,054
Hey, I know Sheldon's quirky,
298
00:12:23,056 --> 00:12:24,823
but he's also brilliant
and insightful.
299
00:12:26,026 --> 00:12:28,760
I think calling him a weirdo
is a little unfair.
300
00:12:28,762 --> 00:12:31,129
Hello, 2003!
301
00:12:33,867 --> 00:12:36,034
Hey, we brought you Thai.
302
00:12:38,005 --> 00:12:39,304
Where is everything?
303
00:12:39,306 --> 00:12:41,306
In my present,
it's in the future.
304
00:12:41,308 --> 00:12:43,909
In your present,
it's been crammed in the bedroom
305
00:12:43,911 --> 00:12:45,343
by an enterprising young man
306
00:12:45,345 --> 00:12:48,280
I met in The Home Depot
parking lot.
307
00:12:49,316 --> 00:12:50,816
I know what you're doing.
308
00:12:50,818 --> 00:12:52,918
You're trying to get attention
so we'll feel bad for you,
309
00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:54,386
but it's not happening.
310
00:12:54,388 --> 00:12:56,254
No, what I'm doing
is trying to figure out
311
00:12:56,256 --> 00:12:58,857
how to live my life now
that everyone is leaving me.
312
00:12:58,859 --> 00:13:01,126
Will you knock it off?
We're across the hall.
313
00:13:01,128 --> 00:13:03,995
As the kids are saying today,
"talk to the hand."
314
00:13:05,432 --> 00:13:07,432
They're not saying that.
315
00:13:07,434 --> 00:13:10,502
They are in 2003.
316
00:13:10,504 --> 00:13:13,171
No, they're really not.
317
00:13:15,843 --> 00:13:18,677
♪ Thor and Dr. Jones ♪
318
00:13:18,679 --> 00:13:21,193
♪ Thor and Dr. Jones ♪
319
00:13:21,195 --> 00:13:22,728
♪ One runs from Loki ♪
320
00:13:22,730 --> 00:13:26,265
♪ The other runs from stones. ♪
321
00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:29,334
So, what do you think?
322
00:13:29,336 --> 00:13:31,436
Wow.
323
00:13:31,438 --> 00:13:34,406
Runs from stones means
that-that big boulder,
324
00:13:34,408 --> 00:13:36,675
but I couldn't rhyme anything
with boulder.
325
00:13:36,677 --> 00:13:39,111
Colder, shoulder,
326
00:13:39,113 --> 00:13:40,579
soldier, folder...
327
00:13:40,581 --> 00:13:42,314
Right, yeah, right.
328
00:13:42,316 --> 00:13:43,849
But...
329
00:13:43,851 --> 00:13:45,684
what do you think?
330
00:13:45,686 --> 00:13:47,519
I think it's very cute.
331
00:13:47,521 --> 00:13:49,154
Cute? It's not cute.
332
00:13:49,156 --> 00:13:52,190
Cute is children dressed
as vegetables.
333
00:13:54,228 --> 00:13:56,828
Okay, fine, it's not cute.
334
00:13:56,830 --> 00:13:58,397
Just be honest.
You don't like it.
335
00:13:58,399 --> 00:13:59,564
I didn't say that.
336
00:13:59,566 --> 00:14:02,000
I-I just like music
you can dance to.
337
00:14:02,002 --> 00:14:03,835
You can dance to this!
338
00:14:03,837 --> 00:14:05,704
Um, uh, uh...
339
00:14:05,706 --> 00:14:08,607
♪ Thor and Dr. Jones ♪
340
00:14:08,609 --> 00:14:10,976
♪ Thor and Dr. Jones ♪
341
00:14:10,978 --> 00:14:12,311
♪ One plays with lightning ♪
342
00:14:12,313 --> 00:14:15,080
♪ The other plays with bones. ♪
343
00:14:16,951 --> 00:14:19,418
I'm telling you, dude,
the song has no groove.
344
00:14:19,420 --> 00:14:21,453
You can't dance to it.
345
00:14:21,455 --> 00:14:23,055
Who cares?
346
00:14:23,057 --> 00:14:24,923
I thought the whole point
of Footprints on the Moon
347
00:14:24,925 --> 00:14:27,492
was to write songs
that make people think.
348
00:14:27,494 --> 00:14:28,827
You can do both,
349
00:14:28,829 --> 00:14:31,363
like Michael Jackson's
"Billie Jean."
350
00:14:31,365 --> 00:14:32,631
While you're dancing
you're thinking, like,
351
00:14:32,633 --> 00:14:35,400
"Darn it, whose baby is it?"
352
00:14:37,838 --> 00:14:39,338
Where's this coming from?
353
00:14:39,340 --> 00:14:41,773
A few hours ago,
we both loved this song.
354
00:14:41,775 --> 00:14:43,108
I still love it.
355
00:14:43,110 --> 00:14:45,043
I just think there's
room for improvement.
356
00:14:45,045 --> 00:14:47,713
You played it for Emily,
didn't you?
357
00:14:47,715 --> 00:14:49,381
Yeah, so what?
You are such a wimp.
358
00:14:49,383 --> 00:14:51,984
She didn't like it,
now you don't like it.
359
00:14:51,986 --> 00:14:55,020
No, no. I'm just evolving
as a musician.
360
00:14:55,022 --> 00:14:57,689
You're the one who's stuck
in the past.
361
00:14:57,691 --> 00:15:00,459
The past was lunch!
362
00:15:02,396 --> 00:15:04,062
You know
what's really happening here?
363
00:15:04,064 --> 00:15:07,132
Your girlfriend
is breaking up our band.
364
00:15:08,569 --> 00:15:09,901
She has nothing to do with this.
365
00:15:09,903 --> 00:15:11,203
I am my own man.
366
00:15:11,205 --> 00:15:12,604
Oh, please. Your brain belongs
367
00:15:12,606 --> 00:15:14,840
to whoever's willing
to sleep with you.
368
00:15:14,842 --> 00:15:16,074
That is so not true.
Really?
369
00:15:16,076 --> 00:15:17,542
Remember when you were gonna
get circumcised
370
00:15:17,544 --> 00:15:19,678
for Rachel Bernstein?
371
00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:22,180
That had nothing to do
with Rachel.
372
00:15:22,182 --> 00:15:25,183
It was an overreaction
to a bad zipper injury.
373
00:15:28,122 --> 00:15:29,521
I don't need this.
374
00:15:29,523 --> 00:15:31,623
I'm quitting the band!
375
00:15:31,625 --> 00:15:32,924
Fine, I quit, too!
376
00:15:32,926 --> 00:15:34,393
Then get out of my house!
377
00:15:34,395 --> 00:15:36,595
With pleasure!
378
00:15:39,333 --> 00:15:40,832
(door slams)
379
00:15:40,834 --> 00:15:44,403
(sighs)
380
00:15:44,405 --> 00:15:45,437
Raj, wait.
381
00:15:45,439 --> 00:15:47,639
What took you so long?
382
00:15:50,077 --> 00:15:51,143
LEONARD:
Buddy, I know me
383
00:15:51,145 --> 00:15:53,478
moving in with Penny
feels like a big change,
384
00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:54,813
but it's not.
385
00:15:54,815 --> 00:15:56,014
How can you say that?
386
00:15:56,016 --> 00:15:57,015
Amy's gone,
387
00:15:57,017 --> 00:15:58,617
and you two are married now,
388
00:15:58,619 --> 00:16:01,319
so it's only a matter of time
before you're gone, too.
389
00:16:01,321 --> 00:16:02,788
Okay, you don't know
what's gonna happen.
390
00:16:02,790 --> 00:16:03,955
No, I do.
391
00:16:03,957 --> 00:16:05,524
Eventually you'll want
more space,
392
00:16:05,526 --> 00:16:06,892
and you'll move into a house,
393
00:16:06,894 --> 00:16:09,061
and then instead of dinner
a couple of times a week,
394
00:16:09,063 --> 00:16:10,629
it'll only be a couple
of times a month,
395
00:16:10,631 --> 00:16:11,830
and then it'll only be
396
00:16:11,832 --> 00:16:13,131
on special occasions,
397
00:16:13,133 --> 00:16:16,468
like when Bernadette
divorces Wolowitz.
398
00:16:17,304 --> 00:16:19,004
Or-or-or like
399
00:16:19,006 --> 00:16:20,605
when Koothrappali's
weird girlfriend
400
00:16:20,607 --> 00:16:23,108
admits where she buried
his body.
401
00:16:24,812 --> 00:16:26,044
Or Amy's wedding,
402
00:16:26,046 --> 00:16:28,713
where she's marrying
someone better than me.
403
00:16:28,715 --> 00:16:31,183
Okay, look,
404
00:16:31,185 --> 00:16:33,285
we don't need
to rush into anything.
405
00:16:33,287 --> 00:16:34,586
All right?
406
00:16:34,588 --> 00:16:37,155
Maybe instead of Leonard
moving in with me,
407
00:16:37,157 --> 00:16:40,025
we just leave things
the way they are,
408
00:16:40,027 --> 00:16:41,326
and...
409
00:16:41,328 --> 00:16:42,894
sometimes we'll sleep
over there,
410
00:16:42,896 --> 00:16:45,363
and sometimes
we'll sleep over here.
411
00:16:45,365 --> 00:16:48,033
But mostly here.
412
00:16:49,203 --> 00:16:50,602
Sure.
413
00:16:50,604 --> 00:16:52,671
W-W-What about what you
said in the restaurant?
414
00:16:52,673 --> 00:16:53,705
Well, it's not forever.
415
00:16:53,707 --> 00:16:55,307
It's just for a while.
416
00:16:55,309 --> 00:16:58,677
If you want, we can think of him
like he's our dog.
417
00:16:58,679 --> 00:17:00,812
You can.
418
00:17:01,582 --> 00:17:03,215
I'm happy when you come home.
419
00:17:04,384 --> 00:17:06,451
And I'm scared of fireworks.
420
00:17:06,453 --> 00:17:09,988
And by the way, on July Fourth,
we're all sleeping here.
421
00:17:09,990 --> 00:17:12,257
Fine.
422
00:17:12,259 --> 00:17:13,358
All right, great!
423
00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:14,559
Just give me one minute,
424
00:17:14,561 --> 00:17:16,728
and I'll get started
on a new Roommate Agreement.
425
00:17:16,730 --> 00:17:17,863
Yeah.
426
00:17:17,865 --> 00:17:19,164
Nothing from Pratt. We're good.
427
00:17:28,699 --> 00:17:31,166
♪ Indy' whip snapped ♪
428
00:17:31,168 --> 00:17:33,668
♪ Thor's hammer missed ♪
429
00:17:33,670 --> 00:17:36,538
♪ It was Avenger ♪
430
00:17:36,540 --> 00:17:39,841
♪ Versus archeologist ♪
431
00:17:40,544 --> 00:17:42,511
♪ Indy held his ground ♪
432
00:17:42,513 --> 00:17:45,647
♪ And straightened his fedora ♪
433
00:17:45,649 --> 00:17:48,049
♪ Thor said,
"That's a nice look ♪
434
00:17:48,051 --> 00:17:51,520
♪ In 1944-a" ♪
435
00:17:54,758 --> 00:17:57,259
BOTH:
♪ Thor and Dr. Jones ♪
436
00:17:57,261 --> 00:17:59,928
♪ Thor and Dr. Jones ♪
437
00:17:59,930 --> 00:18:01,797
♪ One plays with lightning ♪
438
00:18:01,799 --> 00:18:05,066
♪ The other plays bones ♪
439
00:18:06,537 --> 00:18:08,003
♪ Thor and Dr. Jones ♪
440
00:18:08,005 --> 00:18:09,404
(high-pitched):
♪ Thor and Dr. Jones ♪
441
00:18:09,406 --> 00:18:11,139
♪ Thor and Dr. Jones ♪
442
00:18:11,141 --> 00:18:13,575
♪ One plays with lightning ♪
443
00:18:13,577 --> 00:18:18,046
♪ The other plays bones. ♪
444
00:18:18,048 --> 00:18:19,281
(song ends)
445
00:18:19,283 --> 00:18:21,049
Play something we can dance to.
446
00:18:23,659 --> 00:18:30,159
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man