﻿1
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Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen
www.addic7ed.com

2
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I promise, this will only take a second.

3
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All: Surprise!

4
00:00:07,378 --> 00:00:10,178
Oh, my gosh! What's the occasion?

5
00:00:10,180 --> 00:00:12,381
I can't believe you don't
remember what today is.

6
00:00:12,383 --> 00:00:16,218
I know what today is.

7
00:00:16,220 --> 00:00:18,253
I wouldn't forget an
important day like today.

8
00:00:18,255 --> 00:00:19,287
It's...

9
00:00:19,289 --> 00:00:20,288
The anniversary...

10
00:00:20,290 --> 00:00:21,356
The anniversary...

11
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Of...
Of...

12
00:00:23,327 --> 00:00:24,960
The day... The day...

13
00:00:24,962 --> 00:00:26,194
I can't take this anymore.

14
00:00:26,196 --> 00:00:29,231
I can't take this anymore...

15
00:00:29,233 --> 00:00:32,300
<i>Stan, it's our anniversary.</i>

16
00:00:32,302 --> 00:00:34,603
Remember when you joined
our family three years ago?

17
00:00:34,605 --> 00:00:36,538
Of course I do.

18
00:00:36,540 --> 00:00:38,640
It was the most special day of my life.

19
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Along with my wedding day and
the day my puppies were born.

20
00:00:42,479 --> 00:00:45,447
And the day I felt bad because
I forgot our anniversary.

21
00:00:45,449 --> 00:00:47,282
That's today.

22
00:00:48,985 --> 00:00:51,353
We got you presents.

23
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Your favorite dog treats.

24
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And a new chew toy.

25
00:00:54,358 --> 00:00:55,857
Thanks, guys.

26
00:00:55,859 --> 00:00:57,492
This is fantastic!

27
00:00:57,494 --> 00:00:59,828
I'm going to start chewing him right now.

28
00:00:59,830 --> 00:01:01,263
(Toy squeaks)

29
00:01:04,333 --> 00:01:06,234
Oh, hello, Robert.

30
00:01:06,236 --> 00:01:08,670
This just got very awkward.

31
00:01:12,575 --> 00:01:17,279
So now the credit card company is saying
that a piano was charged to my card.

32
00:01:17,281 --> 00:01:19,381
I didn't buy a piano. Did you buy a piano?

33
00:01:19,383 --> 00:01:20,415
Of course I didn't buy a piano.

34
00:01:20,417 --> 00:01:21,550
Why would I buy a piano?

35
00:01:21,552 --> 00:01:23,351
And where is this piano?

36
00:01:25,888 --> 00:01:27,756
<i>Stan: Come on, move out of the way.</i>

37
00:01:27,758 --> 00:01:30,392
<i>I need to get the kids'
anniversary present upstairs.</i>

38
00:01:30,394 --> 00:01:32,294
And this keeps happening.

39
00:01:32,296 --> 00:01:34,429
Who keeps charging
these things to our card?

40
00:01:34,431 --> 00:01:36,832
I'm as confused by all
these charges are you are.

41
00:01:36,834 --> 00:01:40,402
I mean, a hang glider, two
hundred pounds of bacon,

42
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<i>a subscription to Poodle Lovers magazine?</i>

43
00:01:43,540 --> 00:01:46,374
You're the impulse shopper! If you think...

44
00:01:46,376 --> 00:01:49,010
<i>Oh, no. The rope is
starting to break. (Barks)</i>

45
00:01:49,012 --> 00:01:51,613
Not now, Stan. We're having
a problem with a piano.

46
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It's going to fall on you!

47
00:01:53,584 --> 00:01:55,417
Get out of the way!

48
00:01:59,422 --> 00:02:01,289
Are you okay, honey?

49
00:02:01,291 --> 00:02:02,791
I think so, are you o...

50
00:02:05,728 --> 00:02:08,497
Did... Stan just talk?

51
00:02:08,499 --> 00:02:10,332
Uh, no.

52
00:02:10,334 --> 00:02:12,434
I mean, woof.

53
00:02:13,369 --> 00:02:15,437
He did it again.

54
00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:26,815
Yeah, the kids reacted pretty much
the same way when they found out.

55
00:02:44,667 --> 00:02:48,637
You've talked this whole time?

56
00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:50,338
Yes.

57
00:02:50,340 --> 00:02:55,944
All those times we heard someone talking,
like on Halloween, that was you?

58
00:02:55,946 --> 00:02:58,980
Yes. And will you stop poking me?

59
00:03:01,684 --> 00:03:05,420
Wait, were you the voice I
heard whispering from the kitchen

60
00:03:05,422 --> 00:03:07,422
telling me to eat more cake?

61
00:03:07,424 --> 00:03:10,959
No, I'm the voice that
whispers, "Make a steak."

62
00:03:10,961 --> 00:03:12,727
But I guess you hear what you want to hear.

63
00:03:13,896 --> 00:03:15,730
And Ian.

64
00:03:15,732 --> 00:03:18,733
When he said you were a
talking dog he wasn't crazy.

65
00:03:18,735 --> 00:03:20,569
Nope. Just evil.

66
00:03:20,571 --> 00:03:21,970
And a little ticklish.

67
00:03:21,972 --> 00:03:23,505
But evil ticklish.

68
00:03:23,507 --> 00:03:24,739
You tickle him and he goes...

69
00:03:24,741 --> 00:03:26,441
(Evil laugh)

70
00:03:29,378 --> 00:03:30,845
Gracie, Freddy.

71
00:03:30,847 --> 00:03:33,381
Bennett and Ellen know.

72
00:03:33,383 --> 00:03:34,683
It's okay to talk to them now.

73
00:03:34,685 --> 00:03:36,651
Hi, Gammaw and Gamps.

74
00:03:36,653 --> 00:03:39,154
I eat rabbit poop in the yard.

75
00:03:40,489 --> 00:03:42,791
The puppies talk too?

76
00:03:42,793 --> 00:03:45,427
And they call me "Gammaw"?

77
00:03:45,429 --> 00:03:47,462
Where's the cake?

78
00:03:48,898 --> 00:03:50,532
Well, once you learned I can talk,

79
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is it really such a
surprise about the puppies?

80
00:03:52,502 --> 00:03:55,437
Crazy, huh, Robert?

81
00:03:55,439 --> 00:03:56,871
Robert talks too?

82
00:03:56,873 --> 00:04:00,542
Does he call me "Gammaw?!"

83
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<i>So after all these years, Bennett
and Ellen finally found out.</i>

84
00:04:05,482 --> 00:04:07,148
<i>I have to say, I'm relieved the pressure</i>

85
00:04:07,150 --> 00:04:09,451
<i>of keeping the secret is finally off.</i>

86
00:04:09,453 --> 00:04:12,454
Together: You write a blog, too?

87
00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:19,594
Hey, kids. How was school?

88
00:04:19,596 --> 00:04:20,762
Great. Good.

89
00:04:20,764 --> 00:04:22,597
I don't go to school anymore.

90
00:04:22,599 --> 00:04:25,467
So there's nothing you
want to tell us about?

91
00:04:25,469 --> 00:04:28,470
No secret you think it
might be time to share?

92
00:04:28,472 --> 00:04:29,604
Nope. Nothing.

93
00:04:29,606 --> 00:04:31,473
I didn't go to school today either.

94
00:04:32,575 --> 00:04:34,576
See? I told you guys.

95
00:04:34,578 --> 00:04:36,544
The kids would never
keep a secret from you.

96
00:04:36,546 --> 00:04:38,613
You were right, Stan.

97
00:04:38,615 --> 00:04:39,981
Yeah. Should've listened to you.

98
00:04:39,983 --> 00:04:41,549
What do we do?! I don't know!

99
00:04:41,551 --> 00:04:43,585
I'm pretty sure they can
hear everything we're saying!

100
00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:44,619
Of course they can!

101
00:04:44,621 --> 00:04:46,588
We're standing right behind them!

102
00:04:49,558 --> 00:04:52,594
So, the dog talks.

103
00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:54,195
Kinda weird.

104
00:04:54,197 --> 00:04:56,698
You guys are terrible at this.

105
00:04:56,700 --> 00:04:59,567
How did you keep this a
secret from us for three years?

106
00:04:59,569 --> 00:05:01,803
You have no idea what we went through.

107
00:05:01,805 --> 00:05:03,171
Tricking your book editor...

108
00:05:03,173 --> 00:05:04,706
Donating all the Christmas presents...

109
00:05:04,708 --> 00:05:07,509
And I delivered puppies as a French doctor.

110
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(Speaking French)

111
00:05:10,547 --> 00:05:12,647
Together: You speak French?!

112
00:05:18,554 --> 00:05:20,755
So long are we gonna stand here?

113
00:05:20,757 --> 00:05:23,658
I made a sandwich.

114
00:05:23,660 --> 00:05:25,560
I wouldn't even be freaking out like this

115
00:05:25,562 --> 00:05:30,598
over Tyler speaking French if I weren't
so off balance because the dog talks!

116
00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:32,667
Why did you kids never tell us about this?

117
00:05:32,669 --> 00:05:36,671
We were afraid you'd send Stan
away to be experimented on.

118
00:05:36,673 --> 00:05:38,673
It's been our biggest fear.

119
00:05:38,675 --> 00:05:43,545
Oh, kids, I guess I can understand why
you would be concerned about that.

120
00:05:43,547 --> 00:05:45,180
But don't worry.

121
00:05:45,182 --> 00:05:47,549
Now that we see how
important Stan is to you,

122
00:05:47,551 --> 00:05:49,684
we would never let
anything like that happen.

123
00:05:49,686 --> 00:05:50,785
Thanks, guys.

124
00:05:50,787 --> 00:05:52,087
Thanks, Mom.

125
00:05:53,689 --> 00:05:56,024
Stan is a pretty special dog, isn't he?

126
00:05:56,026 --> 00:05:57,859
You know, it's because of Stan

127
00:05:57,861 --> 00:06:01,863
that the three of us have become such
good friends over these last few years.

128
00:06:01,865 --> 00:06:03,565
Yeah, I pretty much raised them.

129
00:06:03,567 --> 00:06:04,699
You're welcome.

130
00:06:05,768 --> 00:06:07,702
Excuse me, Robert. I need some coffee.

131
00:06:07,704 --> 00:06:09,871
Uh, Mom, Robert doesn't actually talk.

132
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He's just Stan's chew toy.

133
00:06:11,274 --> 00:06:14,542
Well how am I supposed to know what talks
and what doesn't talk around here?

134
00:06:14,544 --> 00:06:15,877
Does the coffee maker talk?

135
00:06:15,879 --> 00:06:18,279
Maybe. I don't know!

136
00:06:18,281 --> 00:06:19,280
<i>I do talk, Ellen.</i>

137
00:06:19,282 --> 00:06:21,282
<i>I also do espresso.</i>

138
00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:24,252
Nah, that was just me.

139
00:06:24,254 --> 00:06:26,688
I also throw my voice a little.

140
00:06:31,660 --> 00:06:33,027
Karl! Great news!

141
00:06:33,029 --> 00:06:34,195
Stan, wait...

142
00:06:34,197 --> 00:06:35,563
I'm too happy to wait.

143
00:06:35,565 --> 00:06:39,601
Bennett and Ellen know I can talk
and they are totally cool with it!

144
00:06:39,603 --> 00:06:42,604
Stan, my father is back
from the space station.

145
00:06:42,606 --> 00:06:44,005
That's great, Karl.

146
00:06:44,007 --> 00:06:45,974
And he's fixing my TV.

147
00:06:49,011 --> 00:06:53,114
I was in space on a top secret
mission searching for alien life.

148
00:06:53,116 --> 00:06:56,050
What a surprise that when
I finally encountered it,

149
00:06:56,052 --> 00:06:58,286
it would be in my son's shed.

150
00:06:59,622 --> 00:07:02,891
I believe he prefers to call it his lair,

151
00:07:02,893 --> 00:07:05,593
and I realize that should
probably not be my take-away

152
00:07:05,595 --> 00:07:07,662
from what you just said.

153
00:07:09,598 --> 00:07:13,334
I can't believe those guys from the
space program took us out of our house.

154
00:07:13,336 --> 00:07:16,237
And put us in this exact copy of our
house so they could observe us.

155
00:07:19,308 --> 00:07:21,176
Why are they doing this?

156
00:07:21,178 --> 00:07:24,112
I think they want to observe
us in our natural habitat.

157
00:07:24,114 --> 00:07:25,680
There's nothing natural about it.

158
00:07:25,682 --> 00:07:27,081
There's only one channel on this TV.

159
00:07:27,083 --> 00:07:28,349
That's us.

160
00:07:28,351 --> 00:07:30,785
They have us on closed circuit TV.

161
00:07:35,090 --> 00:07:36,958
Still, a family with a talking dog?

162
00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:38,359
That's a good show!

163
00:07:39,995 --> 00:07:42,997
Well, I am not just going to sit
here and let them do this to us.

164
00:07:42,999 --> 00:07:44,632
Hey!

165
00:07:44,634 --> 00:07:47,068
Hey, you let us out of here!

166
00:07:47,070 --> 00:07:50,004
No force field's gonna keep me back!

167
00:07:50,006 --> 00:07:51,172
Hey, come on!

168
00:07:51,174 --> 00:07:52,640
Hey, guys!

169
00:07:52,642 --> 00:07:54,876
(All yelling)

170
00:08:00,983 --> 00:08:03,818
(All yelling)

171
00:08:03,820 --> 00:08:06,087
Knockedy. Knockedy.

172
00:08:07,690 --> 00:08:09,691
What do you want with us, Colonel Fink?

173
00:08:09,693 --> 00:08:11,893
Stan and the puppies are clearly aliens.

174
00:08:11,895 --> 00:08:14,662
What other explanation can
there be for their talking?

175
00:08:14,664 --> 00:08:18,766
So they are now property of the US
Space Command Secret Aliens Division.

176
00:08:18,768 --> 00:08:20,702
We at the
SAD... Sad?

177
00:08:20,704 --> 00:08:24,005
We used to be, but now we found aliens.

178
00:08:24,007 --> 00:08:26,708
We will study them and
question them to find out

179
00:08:26,710 --> 00:08:29,077
what planet they are
from and why they're here.

180
00:08:29,079 --> 00:08:30,345
You can't do this!

181
00:08:30,347 --> 00:08:31,913
We can and we will.

182
00:08:31,915 --> 00:08:34,349
The SAD will be able
to get budget increases.

183
00:08:34,351 --> 00:08:36,885
We'll finally get a foosball
table for the break room.

184
00:08:36,887 --> 00:08:37,986
First game!

185
00:08:37,988 --> 00:08:39,854
You guys heard that.

186
00:08:40,890 --> 00:08:42,690
How long are you going to keep us for?

187
00:08:42,692 --> 00:08:44,826
You aliens will never be set free.

188
00:08:44,828 --> 00:08:46,828
The rest of you must be kept here

189
00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:48,696
until we can determine
if you're aliens too.

190
00:08:48,698 --> 00:08:51,833
And if you're willing to keep our
plans for a foosball table secret.

191
00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:54,702
We don't want those weasels at
Health and Human Services whining,

192
00:08:54,704 --> 00:08:56,871
"They got one, why can't we have one?"

193
00:08:59,008 --> 00:09:00,408
So, Stan, tell me.

194
00:09:00,410 --> 00:09:01,743
What planet are you from?

195
00:09:01,745 --> 00:09:02,911
Clearly you're not an earth dog.

196
00:09:02,913 --> 00:09:04,812
Earth dogs don't talk.

197
00:09:04,814 --> 00:09:08,149
They do if they time traveled from
a future where all animals talk

198
00:09:08,151 --> 00:09:10,418
and humans are kept as pets and duckways.

199
00:09:10,420 --> 00:09:11,786
What's a duckway?

200
00:09:11,788 --> 00:09:12,820
About four pounds.

201
00:09:12,822 --> 00:09:14,789
What?! Up top!

202
00:09:16,859 --> 00:09:19,961
If you give us treats, we'll
tell you everything we know.

203
00:09:19,963 --> 00:09:21,896
Very good then.

204
00:09:23,198 --> 00:09:25,400
One, two, three, four, five.

205
00:09:25,402 --> 00:09:28,069
A, B, C, D, E, F, G.

206
00:09:28,071 --> 00:09:29,904
A cow says "Mooo."

207
00:09:29,906 --> 00:09:31,906
A sheep says "Baaaa."

208
00:09:31,908 --> 00:09:33,942
That's everything we know.

209
00:09:35,917 --> 00:09:37,478
I can't believe you fell for "duckway."

210
00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:39,047
That's such a henfer.

211
00:09:39,049 --> 00:09:40,815
What's a henfer? Laying eggs.

212
00:09:40,817 --> 00:09:42,050
Woo! Up top!

213
00:09:43,819 --> 00:09:45,853
I don't do well in captivity.

214
00:09:45,855 --> 00:09:49,757
Little known fact about me, as a child
I was trapped in the aviary at the zoo.

215
00:09:49,759 --> 00:09:52,026
I spent a weekend in there
before anyone noticed.

216
00:09:52,028 --> 00:09:54,462
It was hawk-ward.

217
00:09:54,464 --> 00:09:55,763
Good one, Ellen.

218
00:09:55,765 --> 00:09:58,933
If we don't get out of here, that
could be my final "good one."

219
00:10:00,102 --> 00:10:02,470
If only I could believe that were true.

220
00:10:02,472 --> 00:10:06,140
We just found out about
the dogs talking ourselves.

221
00:10:06,142 --> 00:10:08,443
And that they were charging
things to our credit card.

222
00:10:08,445 --> 00:10:12,814
I gave a thousand dollars to a
charity called "Bacon Wrapped Cats."

223
00:10:12,816 --> 00:10:15,817
I'm taking the deduction. But what is that?

224
00:10:15,819 --> 00:10:17,285
I'm getting nowhere with you.

225
00:10:17,287 --> 00:10:19,120
I'm going to interrogate the girls.

226
00:10:19,122 --> 00:10:21,189
I think the girls went off to the bathroom.

227
00:10:21,191 --> 00:10:23,291
Those toilets are fake.

228
00:10:23,293 --> 00:10:25,827
Girls, the toilets are fake!

229
00:10:25,829 --> 00:10:27,395
<i>Avery: Information that would've been</i>

230
00:10:27,397 --> 00:10:29,931
<i>good to have five minutes ago!</i>

231
00:10:29,933 --> 00:10:32,967
<i>Chloe: This show's taking a weird turn!</i>

232
00:10:34,837 --> 00:10:37,939
Colonel Fink, we'll be taking over here.

233
00:10:37,941 --> 00:10:41,309
I believe these papers make it clear
that the Army now has jurisdiction.

234
00:10:41,311 --> 00:10:43,444
My foosball table.

235
00:10:43,446 --> 00:10:44,979
I was going to paint faces on the players

236
00:10:44,981 --> 00:10:47,548
to look like the gang at Space Command.

237
00:10:47,550 --> 00:10:49,217
It's not weird.

238
00:10:50,586 --> 00:10:54,122
We will be using Stan to breed a
commando force of talking dogs,

239
00:10:54,124 --> 00:10:57,392
which will have the unique ability
to infiltrate behind enemy lines.

240
00:10:57,394 --> 00:10:59,293
I'm conflicted.

241
00:10:59,295 --> 00:11:01,462
On the one hand, I want my freedom.

242
00:11:01,464 --> 00:11:05,199
On the other hand,
commanding a talking dog army.

243
00:11:05,201 --> 00:11:07,835
I could finally use my commando crawl.

244
00:11:07,837 --> 00:11:09,904
Thusly.

245
00:11:09,906 --> 00:11:12,240
Imagine a whole army
coming at you like this.

246
00:11:15,978 --> 00:11:18,279
All right, men, let's get set up.

247
00:11:18,281 --> 00:11:21,015
Not so fast.

248
00:11:21,017 --> 00:11:23,017
We'll be taking over here.

249
00:11:23,019 --> 00:11:26,020
<i>I believe these papers make it clear
that I now have jurisdiction.</i>

250
00:11:26,022 --> 00:11:27,989
My secret dog army.

251
00:11:27,991 --> 00:11:29,991
We wasted five years
and four trillion dollars

252
00:11:29,993 --> 00:11:32,860
perfecting camouflage poop bags.

253
00:11:34,596 --> 00:11:36,864
(All muttering)

254
00:11:36,866 --> 00:11:39,333
Ian, what are you doing here?

255
00:11:39,335 --> 00:11:41,969
Thought you'd seen the last of me, did you?

256
00:11:41,971 --> 00:11:43,538
Well, I was able to convince the government

257
00:11:43,540 --> 00:11:46,908
to fund my talking animal research.

258
00:11:46,910 --> 00:11:48,943
Actually, it's a line item in
a thousand page omnibus bill

259
00:11:48,945 --> 00:11:51,612
that no one's read, but I have my funding.

260
00:11:51,614 --> 00:11:55,016
And funding for these poop
bags with my face on them.

261
00:11:57,186 --> 00:11:59,120
They also gave me money to build this.

262
00:12:02,958 --> 00:12:05,393
Just turn the force
field off and go around.

263
00:12:06,929 --> 00:12:11,165
It's a device to transfer the ability
to talk from one animal to another.

264
00:12:11,167 --> 00:12:14,502
I've never had an animal
to test it on until now.

265
00:12:14,504 --> 00:12:16,204
So I don't even know if it works...

266
00:12:16,206 --> 00:12:17,672
but I'm hopeful.

267
00:12:17,674 --> 00:12:19,674
Why didn't you test it on yourself?

268
00:12:19,676 --> 00:12:23,111
You don't test a talking
animal machine on a person.

269
00:12:23,113 --> 00:12:24,245
Why not?

270
00:12:25,214 --> 00:12:27,281
You just don't, okay?!

271
00:12:34,690 --> 00:12:37,091
Mom and Dad are trying to
talk some sense into Ian.

272
00:12:37,093 --> 00:12:38,359
What are you doing, Stan?

273
00:12:38,361 --> 00:12:40,528
Trying to figure out this machine.

274
00:12:40,530 --> 00:12:42,997
I've learned a lot from
Karl hanging out in his shed.

275
00:12:42,999 --> 00:12:44,999
These components look similar to something

276
00:12:45,001 --> 00:12:47,969
he was working on, only his was a machine

277
00:12:47,971 --> 00:12:50,204
that would give him the
cool appeal of a hipster.

278
00:12:50,206 --> 00:12:52,273
His first attempt went horribly wrong.

279
00:12:52,275 --> 00:12:53,941
He grew a handlebar mustache...

280
00:12:53,943 --> 00:12:56,511
unfortunately, it was on his butt.

281
00:12:58,380 --> 00:13:00,047
Butt-stache.

282
00:13:02,151 --> 00:13:04,152
It's great that you understand this stuff.

283
00:13:04,154 --> 00:13:06,187
Now, we can disable Ian's machine.

284
00:13:06,189 --> 00:13:07,522
No, Avery.

285
00:13:07,524 --> 00:13:09,090
That wouldn't change anything.

286
00:13:09,092 --> 00:13:13,427
They won't leave any of us alone as
long as the puppies and I can talk.

287
00:13:13,429 --> 00:13:16,030
I think I can reverse this machine

288
00:13:16,032 --> 00:13:21,068
so it will turn me and the
puppies into regular dogs.

289
00:13:21,070 --> 00:13:23,037
Dogs who can't talk.

290
00:13:29,579 --> 00:13:31,746
Stan, no. No, no, no!

291
00:13:31,748 --> 00:13:34,282
You can't make yourself not talk.

292
00:13:34,284 --> 00:13:37,419
If you're just a regular dog,
you won't be Stan anymore.

293
00:13:37,421 --> 00:13:39,621
What choice do I have?

294
00:13:39,623 --> 00:13:44,426
It's the only thing I can think of to
make everyone leave the family alone.

295
00:13:44,428 --> 00:13:47,395
Maybe being a regular dog won't be so bad.

296
00:13:47,397 --> 00:13:49,564
Stan, you can't do this.

297
00:13:49,566 --> 00:13:50,732
You're family.

298
00:13:50,734 --> 00:13:52,634
What is going on in here?

299
00:13:52,636 --> 00:13:56,338
Ian, Stan rewired your machine to
take away his ability to talk.

300
00:13:56,340 --> 00:13:58,707
Just call off this craziness
before things go too far.

301
00:13:58,709 --> 00:14:00,075
Ian, please!

302
00:14:01,777 --> 00:14:04,546
Stan, no!

303
00:14:04,548 --> 00:14:05,981
You have to stop him!

304
00:14:05,983 --> 00:14:08,049
Wait! Stan, you can't do this!

305
00:14:08,051 --> 00:14:10,018
We'll find another way. Don't do it, Stan!

306
00:14:10,020 --> 00:14:11,486
You have to stay you!

307
00:14:11,488 --> 00:14:14,022
I'll always love you kids...

308
00:14:14,024 --> 00:14:16,858
even if I can never say it again.

309
00:14:18,461 --> 00:14:20,462
No! No! No!!!

310
00:14:28,538 --> 00:14:29,771
Stan?

311
00:14:29,773 --> 00:14:31,606
Stan, Say something.

312
00:14:31,608 --> 00:14:32,841
(Barks)

313
00:14:32,843 --> 00:14:36,511
Stan, no.

314
00:14:36,513 --> 00:14:38,947
Why'd you do it?

315
00:14:38,949 --> 00:14:41,650
You're the best friend that I've ever had.

316
00:14:41,652 --> 00:14:44,486
You stupid dog!

317
00:14:44,488 --> 00:14:45,554
You ruined everything!

318
00:14:45,556 --> 00:14:47,522
Again!

319
00:14:47,524 --> 00:14:51,359
Ian, please, isn't there something
you can do to make Stan talk again?

320
00:14:51,361 --> 00:14:53,361
No.

321
00:14:53,363 --> 00:14:55,030
It's over.

322
00:14:55,032 --> 00:14:57,532
You are useless to me now.

323
00:14:57,534 --> 00:14:59,801
Your family can go.

324
00:15:07,109 --> 00:15:08,810
(Sniffling)

325
00:15:16,452 --> 00:15:18,553
I love Stan so much.

326
00:15:18,555 --> 00:15:23,391
I would rather stay in there forever
than have Stan do what he did.

327
00:15:23,393 --> 00:15:24,726
He did it for us.

328
00:15:24,728 --> 00:15:28,430
Shows how much Stan loves this family.

329
00:15:28,432 --> 00:15:30,065
You're so brave.

330
00:15:30,067 --> 00:15:31,700
I'm gonna miss him so much.

331
00:15:31,702 --> 00:15:33,101
Did it work, Dada?

332
00:15:33,103 --> 00:15:34,569
Gracie, shhhh!

333
00:15:34,571 --> 00:15:36,571
Not till we get out of here.

334
00:15:36,573 --> 00:15:37,572
(Gasps)

335
00:15:37,574 --> 00:15:39,741
I mean... woof.

336
00:15:41,444 --> 00:15:43,612
It was a trick! Get them!

337
00:15:43,614 --> 00:15:44,946
Run!

338
00:15:58,427 --> 00:16:00,595
Karl, Avery and Chloe
are hiding the puppies

339
00:16:00,597 --> 00:16:02,597
until we can figure out if it's safe.

340
00:16:02,599 --> 00:16:03,898
Is your dad around?

341
00:16:03,900 --> 00:16:05,433
And why are you dressed
like our kitchen drapes?

342
00:16:05,435 --> 00:16:07,068
Answer the first question first.

343
00:16:08,104 --> 00:16:11,139
My father's not home, And I
am dressed in my kitchen camo

344
00:16:11,141 --> 00:16:12,641
because I was plotting your rescue.

345
00:16:12,643 --> 00:16:14,676
But I see you effected it without my help.

346
00:16:14,678 --> 00:16:15,977
No worries.

347
00:16:15,979 --> 00:16:17,779
The face paint only takes an hour to apply

348
00:16:17,781 --> 00:16:20,048
and the resulting rash only
takes a week to recover from.

349
00:16:21,484 --> 00:16:25,620
I'm sorry I scared you guys by not
telling you about my plan to trick Ian,

350
00:16:25,622 --> 00:16:27,622
but I needed your reactions to be real.

351
00:16:27,624 --> 00:16:29,524
Hey, we could've faked our reactions.

352
00:16:29,526 --> 00:16:32,093
I fake my reaction to Mom's
hip-hop dance performances.

353
00:16:32,095 --> 00:16:33,828
You love my hip-hop dance performances.

354
00:16:33,830 --> 00:16:36,598
I know, I do!

355
00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:38,466
We're just glad you can still talk.

356
00:16:38,468 --> 00:16:40,168
We should've known it wasn't for real

357
00:16:40,170 --> 00:16:41,936
when you told us Karl
was working on a machine

358
00:16:41,938 --> 00:16:43,505
to turn himself into a hipster.

359
00:16:43,507 --> 00:16:45,173
You mean the Hipstinator 5000.

360
00:16:45,175 --> 00:16:47,242
I think it's starting to work on me.

361
00:16:47,244 --> 00:16:50,679
I already like a handful
of really terrible bands.

362
00:16:50,681 --> 00:16:53,782
Listen, what are we going
to do? We can't stay here,

363
00:16:53,784 --> 00:16:56,017
Karl's father could return any time,

364
00:16:56,019 --> 00:16:58,253
we can't go home, they're
gonna be looking for us there,

365
00:16:58,255 --> 00:17:00,088
and we need some kind of plan.

366
00:17:00,090 --> 00:17:02,157
Guys, my secret's out.

367
00:17:02,159 --> 00:17:04,492
So many people know, it'll
never be a secret again.

368
00:17:04,494 --> 00:17:07,662
<i>But what if we go
public so everyone knows?</i>

369
00:17:07,664 --> 00:17:11,800
If I'm famous and beloved, the government
won't be able to bother me anymore.

370
00:17:11,802 --> 00:17:14,736
And let's face it, how could I
not be beloved with this punim?

371
00:17:18,574 --> 00:17:20,875
We need some big event
that's happening live

372
00:17:20,877 --> 00:17:23,745
so we can get Stan in front of TV
cameras before anyone finds him.

373
00:17:23,747 --> 00:17:26,514
The Hollywood Entertainment
Awards are tonight!

374
00:17:26,516 --> 00:17:28,983
If we go, we can get Stan on live TV!

375
00:17:28,985 --> 00:17:32,287
Bennett, I need seven
thousand dollars for a dress.

376
00:17:34,690 --> 00:17:37,525
So Karl, are you coming?

377
00:17:37,527 --> 00:17:39,294
Wouldn't miss it. Do you
think they have these curtains?

378
00:17:39,296 --> 00:17:42,530
It's highly unlikely. Then I'll stay here.

379
00:17:42,532 --> 00:17:46,234
So how do we get in? Well, when we
were trying to hide Stan's secret,

380
00:17:46,236 --> 00:17:50,872
<i>we needed a lot of shenanigans or a
plan so crazy it just might work.</i>

381
00:17:50,874 --> 00:17:52,841
<i>But now we're trying to
expose the secret,</i>

382
00:17:52,843 --> 00:17:56,578
so maybe we need a plan
that's the opposite of crazy.

383
00:17:56,580 --> 00:18:01,583
Hi, I need tickets to the awards show for
five people, a dog, and two puppies.

384
00:18:03,686 --> 00:18:05,653
Well, that was surprisingly easy.

385
00:18:07,623 --> 00:18:09,591
They just went inside! We need to follow!

386
00:18:09,593 --> 00:18:10,825
Four, please.

387
00:18:12,228 --> 00:18:14,562
You can't be here! I have jurisdiction.

388
00:18:14,564 --> 00:18:17,198
Not anymore. You lost
them... they're fair game now.

389
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:18,767
Hurry up! We need to get in there!

390
00:18:18,769 --> 00:18:20,034
Cool your jets.

391
00:18:20,036 --> 00:18:21,669
We're trying to get seats together.

392
00:18:23,639 --> 00:18:25,573
<i>Man: Welcome back to the 61st annual</i>

393
00:18:25,575 --> 00:18:27,742
<i>Hollywood Entertainment Awards.</i>

394
00:18:27,744 --> 00:18:29,611
And now the nominees for

395
00:18:29,613 --> 00:18:32,814
Best Performance By A Comedy
Actor Playing a Serious Role

396
00:18:32,816 --> 00:18:35,150
To Prove He's A Real Actor.

397
00:18:38,654 --> 00:18:42,791
Okay, we just have to wait for the right
time for Stan to go onto the stage.

398
00:18:44,293 --> 00:18:46,661
Or now is good.

399
00:18:47,630 --> 00:18:49,597
I just have one question:

400
00:18:49,599 --> 00:18:52,767
what's the difference between
sound editing and sound mixing?

401
00:18:52,769 --> 00:18:54,969
Nobody knows, am I right?

402
00:18:56,772 --> 00:18:59,674
Actually, sound editing
is more placement of sound,

403
00:18:59,676 --> 00:19:01,009
while mixing is more adjusting...

404
00:19:01,011 --> 00:19:02,377
Aaah!

405
00:19:03,813 --> 00:19:05,380
I guess I'll never know.

406
00:19:08,717 --> 00:19:10,852
(Applause)

407
00:19:15,758 --> 00:19:20,795
Maestro, give me a little vamp in the
key of E flat and try to follow along.

408
00:19:20,797 --> 00:19:22,330
Come on, guys.

409
00:19:22,332 --> 00:19:24,165
I need back-up singers.

410
00:19:24,167 --> 00:19:26,301
He needs us. We're his family.

411
00:19:26,303 --> 00:19:28,169
Our first shenanigan as a family...

412
00:19:28,171 --> 00:19:29,771
let's do it!

413
00:19:31,106 --> 00:19:33,174
♪ There are those who'd probably say ♪

414
00:19:33,176 --> 00:19:35,276
♪ That I have a rare ability

415
00:19:35,278 --> 00:19:36,945
♪ And I don't just mean the way ♪

416
00:19:36,947 --> 00:19:39,714
♪ That I yodel with agility ♪

417
00:19:39,716 --> 00:19:42,851
♪ Yodel-lay-eee-hoo ♪

418
00:19:42,853 --> 00:19:44,886
♪ It's a secret no one's known ♪

419
00:19:44,888 --> 00:19:47,288
♪ But that secret now is blown ♪

420
00:19:47,290 --> 00:19:48,923
♪ I'm a talking dog ♪

421
00:19:48,925 --> 00:19:50,692
♪ He's a talking dog ♪

422
00:19:50,694 --> 00:19:52,861
♪ There's no barking,
there's no biting ♪

423
00:19:52,863 --> 00:19:54,929
♪ Don't be scared, this is exciting ♪

424
00:19:54,931 --> 00:19:56,764
♪ And I've got a blog ♪

425
00:19:56,766 --> 00:19:58,666
♪ Yes, he's got a blog ♪

426
00:19:58,668 --> 00:20:00,735
♪ It'll get a lot more hits now ♪

427
00:20:00,737 --> 00:20:02,670
♪ Here's where Chloe
does the splits now ♪

428
00:20:07,977 --> 00:20:09,811
♪ I've got talking pups ♪

429
00:20:09,813 --> 00:20:11,846
♪ He's got talking pups ♪

430
00:20:11,848 --> 00:20:13,281
♪ Yes, my puppies talk, get ready! ♪

431
00:20:13,283 --> 00:20:14,816
♪ Hi, I'm Gracie ♪

432
00:20:14,818 --> 00:20:17,151
♪ Hi, I'm talking too. ♪

433
00:20:17,153 --> 00:20:19,053
♪ So now the world will know ♪

434
00:20:19,055 --> 00:20:21,222
♪ As my legend starts to grow ♪

435
00:20:21,224 --> 00:20:23,791
♪ I'm a talking, blogging,
singing, dancing... ♪

436
00:20:23,793 --> 00:20:24,926
♪ Name's Stan, by the way ♪

437
00:20:24,928 --> 00:20:25,472
♪ Dog! ♪

438
00:20:31,701 --> 00:20:33,968
(Applause)

439
00:20:33,970 --> 00:20:35,837
That was amazing.

440
00:20:35,839 --> 00:20:37,171
How do you do that?

441
00:20:37,173 --> 00:20:41,142
Years of training with some of the
finest vocal coaches in the world.

442
00:20:41,144 --> 00:20:43,278
What?! No, I'm just kidding.

443
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:45,713
I'm a regular singing dog.

444
00:20:46,882 --> 00:20:48,716
And there, my friends,

445
00:20:48,718 --> 00:20:51,352
<i>is the sugaaaaar.</i>

446
00:20:55,224 --> 00:21:00,762
<i>And that's the story of how I
became a world-famous celebrity.</i>

447
00:21:00,764 --> 00:21:02,997
<i>Becoming a celebrity meant
that I'd never have to worry</i>

448
00:21:02,999 --> 00:21:05,066
<i>about anyone experimenting
on me ever again.</i>

449
00:21:05,068 --> 00:21:07,502
<i>And the next year,</i>

450
00:21:07,504 --> 00:21:10,772
<i>I was back at the Hollywood
Entertainment Awards... as a nominee.</i>

451
00:21:10,774 --> 00:21:14,876
And the only nominee for
Best Talking Dog is...

452
00:21:14,878 --> 00:21:17,845
<i>Stan, in The Bells of Portugal.</i>

453
00:21:21,517 --> 00:21:25,219
But you see, Isabella, I'm not
in love with your sister...

454
00:21:25,221 --> 00:21:27,155
<i>I'm in love with you.</i>

455
00:21:32,895 --> 00:21:35,163
<i>But through it all, the only thing</i>

456
00:21:35,165 --> 00:21:38,032
<i>that has really mattered
to me is the one thing</i>

457
00:21:38,034 --> 00:21:42,937
<i>I've always wanted in life:
to be part of a real family.</i>

458
00:21:46,041 --> 00:21:49,777
<i>Many among the millions who now
read my blog have asked me,</i>

459
00:21:49,779 --> 00:21:52,380
<i>"What's it like being a talking dog?"</i>

460
00:21:52,382 --> 00:21:56,784
<i>Well, in a lot of ways,
I'm just like you are.</i>

461
00:21:56,786 --> 00:22:00,088
<i>Nothing means more to me
after a long day than a hug</i>

462
00:22:00,090 --> 00:22:02,190
<i>from the people I love.</i>

463
00:22:03,892 --> 00:22:06,227
We love you too, Stan.

464
00:22:06,229 --> 00:22:09,230
I can't imagine what our lives
would be like without you.

465
00:22:14,503 --> 00:22:18,973
<i>This is Stan, the talking dog, saying:</i>

466
00:22:18,975 --> 00:22:20,842
<i>so long.</i>

