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- Previously on "Scream Queens"...
- You need to choose one of us.
2
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Fine, Roger,
I'm coming with you.
3
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If someone found out my
dad is Charles Manson,
4
00:00:08,465 --> 00:00:10,399
everyone would immediately
assume the killer is me.
5
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The Red Devil kidnapped me
6
00:00:11,985 --> 00:00:13,569
and took me to his evil lair.
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The Red Devil is in love with you?
8
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Tonight we cast our
votes for the next president
9
00:00:17,624 --> 00:00:18,607
of Kappa House.
10
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Grab some marbles.
11
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It's time to vote.
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All right, so remind me again.
13
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It's black for Zayday, white for Chanel?
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Obv. Do you think you can handle that?
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I only gave you the job
of tallying the votes
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because I thought you Rain Man types
17
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were super good at counting.
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Or are you one of those idiot savants
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who's heavy on the idiot,
light on the savant?
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I am neither, thank you very much.
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Years before the Psychoanalytic
Society of America decided
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there was money to be made
by creating what they called
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the autism spectrum,
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I would have been considered
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a daydreamer or quirky,
like a young Zooey Deschanel.
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I am not an idiot
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or a moron. I am simply
a victim of my times.
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Are you aware your pants are on backwards?
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Start counting the damn votes.
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Wait, what happens if it's a tie?
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It's never happened before,
but Kappa bylaws state
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that the two of them would rule together.
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It's a tie.
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You did it!
35
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Well, sort of.
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I know it's not ideal,
but I think you and I
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would make great copresidents.
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What? No, I'm not gonna be
copresident with a pledge!
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Farty McCandlewax clearly
miscounted the votes!
40
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Calm down, Chanel, it's not Farty's fault.
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00:02:07,100 --> 00:02:08,734
Then whose fault is it?
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It's not my fault that my pumpkin patch
43
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was canceled. It's not my fault
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that some people didn't vote for me because
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they're too intimidated by my hotness.
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It's not my fault that, because someone
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is killing Kappas, I didn't have time
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to individually bribe each and
every one of you to vote for me.
49
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No. Clearly there is only one
person to blame for all of this.
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Number Five.
51
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Wait, what?
52
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I hate all of you for
letting me down tonight,
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but, Number Five, I hate you the most.
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I know it's on me that I chose
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idiots and weirdos to be my minions,
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but you are by far the most
idiotic and the most weird,
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and so I blame you more than any of them
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for not finding a way
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to ensure I retained my presidency tonight.
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Chanel, come on, let's talk this through.
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No! I am never talking
about anything ever again!
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I hate you all!
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Yeah, super sorry about
what happened down there.
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Why are you laughing?
65
00:03:17,153 --> 00:03:19,621
Because, you leg humpers,
I voted for Zayday.
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I wanted her to win.
67
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What about that fit you threw down there?
68
00:03:22,959 --> 00:03:24,576
Brilliant performance, I know.
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00:03:24,627 --> 00:03:26,695
I've had to develop some
serious acting skills
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- to have sex with Chad.
- So...
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- you're not mad at me?
- Oh, I meant everything I said about you.
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I still think you're useless.
I'm just not sad about it.
73
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You see, I've learned a few things
74
00:03:36,056 --> 00:03:38,974
from watching A&E
documentaries about the Mafia.
75
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The most important being...
Aside from to never trust anyone,
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especially those
closest to you...
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You never, ever want to be the boss
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in a time of extreme crisis.
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As soon as you become the boss,
you get a target on your back,
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from the Feds, the other
families, ambitious underlings.
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Sure, seems like you have all the power,
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but you also take on the most risk.
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Being president of
Kappa House when there is
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00:04:03,700 --> 00:04:05,834
a killer hunting down
sisters of Kappa House
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means you're the top target.
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I was actually hoping one of you
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bitches would betray me and vote for her
88
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so she could win the whole thing, but...
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this works out even better.
90
00:04:12,876 --> 00:04:14,510
Because when I go down and make peace
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00:04:14,544 --> 00:04:16,178
with her and her pasty friend,
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I'm gonna look like a
skinnier Angelina Jolie.
93
00:04:18,598 --> 00:04:21,082
Wait, so this whole
thing... the pumpkin patch,
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00:04:21,101 --> 00:04:22,634
the fight against
Black Hairy Tongue...
95
00:04:22,685 --> 00:04:25,637
Was all an elaborate plan to
set up Zayday to be killed?
96
00:04:25,688 --> 00:04:29,024
I like to think of it more as an
elaborate plan to save a life...
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Mine.
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00:04:31,027 --> 00:04:33,312
Oh, don't judge me for
trying to stay alive.
99
00:04:33,363 --> 00:04:35,981
We all know you've been
cozying up to Predatory Lez
100
00:04:36,032 --> 00:04:37,699
because you think she knows karate.
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00:04:37,734 --> 00:04:38,901
I just like hanging out with her.
102
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She's cool to talk to.
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She knows a lot about... stuff.
104
00:04:42,739 --> 00:04:45,273
Are you going lesbian, Number Three?
105
00:04:45,291 --> 00:04:47,275
Because while I get that
Lezzie Pledge is kind of cute
106
00:04:47,293 --> 00:04:50,078
in a "if Bruce Lee were a DJ" kind of way,
107
00:04:50,112 --> 00:04:52,214
I don't think we should
be having sex with pledges.
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Now, if you'll follow me,
109
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I would like to implement phase two
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of my "Chanel Dies Last" plan.
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Whatever she says,
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do not give an inch.
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You're president now, too.
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Zayday,
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this is the key to the storage room.
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Where we keep our tampon backstock
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in case of a nuclear war
and all of our secrets.
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It's the most holy room in the house,
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and only the president has the key.
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I want you to have it.
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What's your game here?
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I trust you about as
far as I can throw you.
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No game.
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I may be a stone-cold bitch,
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but I love Kappa
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and I want it to survive
these challenging times.
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So if you think you can do a better job
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than I can, then I say
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let's give the Zayday
Administration a chance.
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Sisters
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and anyone else who might be listening,
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I present to you the acting
president of Kappa Kappa Tau,
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Zayday... something!
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Williams. But that'll do.
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Sync & corrections by wilson0804
WEB-DL resync by kinglouisxx
00:06:03,402
Excuse me, Madam President,
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the Speaker of the House is on line one.
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Take a message.
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Z! Oh, come here.
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I'm so proud of you. This
is so exciting. I mean,
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Kappa is really gonna change,
and it all starts with you.
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Well, the biggest change
I'd like to implement
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is for everyone to stop getting
murdered by a serial killer.
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That's what we need to talk about.
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I know we don't know who the killer is,
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but we know it traces back to this house.
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If the Red Devil is killing
Kappas, that means some of them
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have to know something.
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We just need to find out what.
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A slumber party.
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00:06:34,150 --> 00:06:35,484
What?
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There are two things that
always happen at a slumber party:
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someone experiments with lesbianism
154
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and secrets are revealed.
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Oh, my God. That is brilliant.
156
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We can create situations and scenarios
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to really prime the pump.
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Like a big game of Truth or Dare.
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That'll be my first act as president.
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We'll lock everybody up overnight,
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and we're bound to find out something.
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Can I have y'all's attention?
163
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Kappa House is having a slumber party!
164
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What? Ew. Gross. No.
165
00:07:02,595 --> 00:07:04,412
Yes. It's gonna be great.
166
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Look, we're gonna lock ourselves in,
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play some games,
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get cozy... What are you talking about?!
169
00:07:08,584 --> 00:07:09,635
No, we are not ten!
170
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Shut up, Chanel.
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It's a great idea.
172
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A slumber party sounds fun.
173
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Let's play Spin the Bottle.
174
00:07:16,059 --> 00:07:16,692
What?
175
00:07:16,726 --> 00:07:17,809
You heard me. I want
176
00:07:17,860 --> 00:07:20,195
to play Spin the Bottle. We're doing it.
177
00:07:20,229 --> 00:07:21,029
What'd I tell you?
178
00:07:21,064 --> 00:07:22,764
Someone always goes lesbian.
179
00:07:22,782 --> 00:07:25,534
Yeah, well, Spin the
Bottle sounds great, I guess,
180
00:07:25,568 --> 00:07:28,036
but don't you think a
rousing game of Truth or Dare
181
00:07:28,071 --> 00:07:29,037
would be way more fun
182
00:07:29,072 --> 00:07:30,322
to play first?
183
00:07:30,373 --> 00:07:31,406
- No.
- No?
184
00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:33,742
We're having a slumber party,
185
00:07:33,776 --> 00:07:35,494
and before we do anything else,
186
00:07:35,545 --> 00:07:37,829
we're playing Spin the damn Bottle.
187
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:38,997
Let's vote.
188
00:07:39,048 --> 00:07:41,133
All those in favor of a slumber party.
189
00:07:46,589 --> 00:07:48,957
There. It's decided.
190
00:07:48,975 --> 00:07:51,176
We're having a slumber party, okay?
191
00:07:51,227 --> 00:07:54,563
Everyone get in your PJs, and
be down here at 5:00, okay?
192
00:07:54,597 --> 00:07:56,631
Why Spin the Bottle?
193
00:07:56,649 --> 00:07:58,800
There aren't any Dickies here!
194
00:07:58,818 --> 00:08:01,853
Caulfield! Caulfield! Caulfield!
195
00:08:01,904 --> 00:08:04,573
Caulfield, you suck
it, bro! You suck it so hard!
196
00:08:04,607 --> 00:08:07,576
Suck it! Suck it! Come
on, baby! Come on, baby!
197
00:08:07,610 --> 00:08:09,945
Don't stop now. Don't st...
198
00:08:09,979 --> 00:08:11,079
45 seconds.
199
00:08:12,498 --> 00:08:14,916
Brother Caulfield,
200
00:08:14,951 --> 00:08:19,087
you just chugged four liters
of canned pasta in 45 seconds.
201
00:08:19,122 --> 00:08:21,923
So if anybody ever tells
you that just because you got
202
00:08:21,958 --> 00:08:23,759
your arms chopped off by a serial killer
203
00:08:23,793 --> 00:08:25,761
that somehow you're handicapped,
204
00:08:25,795 --> 00:08:27,629
you have 'em give me a call.
205
00:08:27,663 --> 00:08:30,165
And I'm gonna tell 'em this story.
206
00:08:30,183 --> 00:08:32,634
Chad.
207
00:08:35,021 --> 00:08:37,606
The Dollar Scholars need to have
a little talk with you, mate.
208
00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:38,774
Listen,
209
00:08:38,808 --> 00:08:41,143
this is an intervention.
210
00:08:41,177 --> 00:08:44,312
Mate, there's a nasty rumor going around
211
00:08:44,346 --> 00:08:47,449
saying you're having sex
with... with the dean.
212
00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:48,567
That is not a nasty rumor.
213
00:08:48,618 --> 00:08:50,452
That is a true rumor.
214
00:08:50,486 --> 00:08:52,404
I am totally porkin' Dean Munsch.
215
00:08:52,455 --> 00:08:53,622
Chick is smokin'.
216
00:08:53,656 --> 00:08:54,990
There's also another rumor saying
217
00:08:55,024 --> 00:08:57,125
that you slept with one
of the security guards.
218
00:08:57,160 --> 00:09:00,412
Denise Hemphill. Yeah.
219
00:09:00,463 --> 00:09:02,197
I mean, she
is fun. I'm not kidding.
220
00:09:02,215 --> 00:09:03,965
I mean, that girl knows what she's doing.
221
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,133
But what about Chanel?
222
00:09:05,168 --> 00:09:07,135
No, Chanel's good, too. I mean, she's...
223
00:09:07,170 --> 00:09:09,471
When you have sex with Chanel,
there's just, like, so much,
224
00:09:09,505 --> 00:09:11,840
like... crying.
225
00:09:11,874 --> 00:09:13,925
Look, Chad, we've talked
about this as a house,
226
00:09:13,976 --> 00:09:16,178
and we all agree it's super weird
227
00:09:16,212 --> 00:09:17,929
that you sleep with so many old people.
228
00:09:24,854 --> 00:09:27,155
Oh. Wow.
229
00:09:27,190 --> 00:09:30,892
You guys have really given
me something to think about.
230
00:09:30,910 --> 00:09:33,195
While I've always believed
one of the most fun parts
231
00:09:33,229 --> 00:09:35,363
of college life is
sleeping with the faculty,
232
00:09:35,397 --> 00:09:39,501
I now realize that concentrating
on porking popular girls,
233
00:09:39,535 --> 00:09:41,169
it's in all of our best interests.
234
00:09:41,204 --> 00:09:43,288
Therefore, I hereby pledge
235
00:09:43,339 --> 00:09:46,625
I'm gonna concentrate on
my relationship with Chanel,
236
00:09:46,676 --> 00:09:48,960
'cause she's freakin' hot as hell
237
00:09:49,011 --> 00:09:50,796
and her dad was a bundler for Mitt Romney.
238
00:09:50,847 --> 00:09:52,013
Well, you know,
239
00:09:52,048 --> 00:09:53,515
a little birdie told me
240
00:09:53,549 --> 00:09:55,350
Kappa House are having
a slumber party tonight.
241
00:09:55,384 --> 00:09:57,302
So I propose a panty raid.
242
00:09:57,353 --> 00:09:59,354
All those in favor?
243
00:10:00,940 --> 00:10:02,441
Panty raid!
244
00:10:07,730 --> 00:10:09,698
Nope!
245
00:10:09,732 --> 00:10:12,033
Not doing this. I don't
understand why we're playing
246
00:10:12,068 --> 00:10:14,369
Spin the Bottle. There are
exactly zero wangers here.
247
00:10:14,403 --> 00:10:16,872
Chanel, I will act as proxy
and kiss Candle Vlogger
248
00:10:16,906 --> 00:10:19,407
so that you don't have to.
249
00:10:21,410 --> 00:10:22,911
You taste like wax.
250
00:10:22,945 --> 00:10:24,713
You taste good, too.
251
00:10:24,747 --> 00:10:26,748
My turn. It's my turn.
252
00:10:28,551 --> 00:10:30,385
There. I just spun it.
253
00:10:30,419 --> 00:10:33,788
Dear God, if you really exist,
please show me by letting it
254
00:10:33,806 --> 00:10:36,007
land on Predatory Lez
so I can explore these
255
00:10:36,058 --> 00:10:38,393
confusing, conflicting feelings
I've been having lately.
256
00:10:40,096 --> 00:10:42,731
Re-spin. New rule:
you can re-spin.
257
00:10:46,769 --> 00:10:49,637
Oh. Sam. I guess we have to kiss.
258
00:10:54,277 --> 00:10:55,694
You're a great kisser.
259
00:10:55,745 --> 00:10:57,746
Thanks. I guess you're okay.
260
00:10:57,780 --> 00:10:59,698
I'll say it again.
261
00:10:59,749 --> 00:11:01,950
I don't know why we're doing this.
262
00:11:09,008 --> 00:11:10,208
Was I interrupting you?
263
00:11:10,259 --> 00:11:11,426
No, it's cool. I was just
264
00:11:11,460 --> 00:11:12,660
practicing looking disinterested.
265
00:11:12,678 --> 00:11:14,930
Do you do that, too?
Because when I was a kid,
266
00:11:14,964 --> 00:11:17,832
no one liked me 'cause my dad
was so rich, so I started acting
267
00:11:17,850 --> 00:11:19,801
like I didn't care. But then I realized
268
00:11:19,835 --> 00:11:21,669
I really wasn't pretending
and I actually didn't care.
269
00:11:21,687 --> 00:11:24,139
I'm pretty sure I was born
without that part of the brain
270
00:11:24,173 --> 00:11:25,440
that actually feels stuff.
271
00:11:25,474 --> 00:11:27,225
We have so much in common.
272
00:11:27,276 --> 00:11:28,643
I'm starting to think we have something
273
00:11:28,677 --> 00:11:30,478
very important and specific in common.
274
00:11:30,512 --> 00:11:32,948
My sex life up until this point
is what you'd call unusual.
275
00:11:32,982 --> 00:11:34,282
When I turned 18,
276
00:11:34,317 --> 00:11:35,957
I started dating one of my dad's friends.
277
00:11:35,985 --> 00:11:37,319
He committed suicide
by running himself over
278
00:11:37,353 --> 00:11:38,787
with a golf cart at the club.
279
00:11:38,821 --> 00:11:40,739
The guy I dated here last year
280
00:11:40,790 --> 00:11:43,408
got so obsessed with my
ears he had to leave school.
281
00:11:43,459 --> 00:11:45,627
Now he writes me letters
threatening to cut them off
282
00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:46,962
if he ever sees them again.
283
00:11:46,996 --> 00:11:49,030
Which is why I always wear my ear muffs.
284
00:11:49,048 --> 00:11:52,033
I understand. I think the only
way to be sure of your feelings
285
00:11:52,051 --> 00:11:54,753
is if you let me gently
rub your uterus right now.
286
00:11:54,804 --> 00:11:56,638
No. You don't understand.
287
00:11:56,672 --> 00:11:58,640
I'm Charles Manson's daughter.
288
00:11:58,674 --> 00:12:00,842
His charisma and madness is in my blood.
289
00:12:00,876 --> 00:12:04,262
When I love someone, it drives them insane.
290
00:12:04,313 --> 00:12:06,431
No. I can't.
291
00:12:06,482 --> 00:12:08,383
We can be alibilibidibuddies
and do our best
292
00:12:08,401 --> 00:12:10,718
to protect each other, but
our vaginas may never touch.
293
00:12:10,736 --> 00:12:12,020
It's too dangerous.
294
00:12:16,192 --> 00:12:18,159
Believe me when I say
295
00:12:18,194 --> 00:12:20,395
that if it was possible
for me to feel anything
296
00:12:20,413 --> 00:12:22,414
I would totally be crying right now.
297
00:12:33,426 --> 00:12:34,876
What are you guys doing?
298
00:12:34,910 --> 00:12:37,012
Well, hello, Madam President.
299
00:12:37,046 --> 00:12:38,847
Making chocolate covered peanuts
300
00:12:38,881 --> 00:12:40,715
for Chanel's special s'mores.
301
00:12:40,749 --> 00:12:42,517
But those are packing peanuts.
302
00:12:42,551 --> 00:12:44,686
That doesn't seem healthy.
303
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:47,355
Yeah. Cuts the calorie
content in, like, half.
304
00:12:48,274 --> 00:12:49,307
Why are you two back
305
00:12:49,358 --> 00:12:50,425
without any ice?
306
00:12:50,443 --> 00:12:51,693
We have a problem.
307
00:12:51,727 --> 00:12:53,194
All the doors are locked solid.
308
00:12:53,229 --> 00:12:55,196
Windows, too. Upstairs and down.
309
00:13:08,411 --> 00:13:09,878
They're right. We're trapped.
310
00:13:09,912 --> 00:13:11,913
Wait, you guys, I think
I know what this is.
311
00:13:11,947 --> 00:13:13,331
It's probably my dad.
312
00:13:13,382 --> 00:13:14,949
He's been getting on me to stay inside
313
00:13:14,967 --> 00:13:16,451
where it's safe, and I'm pretty sure
314
00:13:16,469 --> 00:13:17,919
he did this because I wouldn't listen.
315
00:13:17,953 --> 00:13:19,193
He sounds like an awful parent.
316
00:13:19,221 --> 00:13:20,722
He's overprotective,
317
00:13:20,756 --> 00:13:22,557
but I'm telling you there
is nothing to worry about.
318
00:13:22,591 --> 00:13:25,226
Of course it's something to
worry about. It's not your dad
319
00:13:25,261 --> 00:13:27,679
and his 1986 Miami Vice
five o'clock shadow.
320
00:13:27,730 --> 00:13:29,397
It was the killer.
321
00:13:29,432 --> 00:13:31,349
But, guys, how did he lock
every window and every door
322
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:32,901
without us noticing?
323
00:13:32,935 --> 00:13:34,269
He must have hacked into the fail-safe
324
00:13:34,303 --> 00:13:35,583
security system I had installed.
325
00:13:37,773 --> 00:13:40,408
One recent stormy night, Chad and I
326
00:13:40,443 --> 00:13:42,310
watched Panic Room on
Netflix, and Chad was like,
327
00:13:42,328 --> 00:13:43,578
"You totally need one of those."
328
00:13:43,612 --> 00:13:45,864
But Jodie Foster's was small and gross,
329
00:13:45,915 --> 00:13:47,782
so I decided to have the whole
house turned into a panic room.
330
00:13:47,816 --> 00:13:50,085
But wait, doesn't that mean
that there's some sort of switch
331
00:13:50,119 --> 00:13:52,454
somewhere to deactivate
it? Yes, theoretically,
332
00:13:52,488 --> 00:13:54,756
but the guy said the kill
switch was on back order
333
00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:56,324
and he'd have to install
it in a couple of weeks.
334
00:13:56,342 --> 00:13:57,658
Guys, I am freaking out!
335
00:13:57,677 --> 00:13:59,711
I hate being trapped in small places.
336
00:13:59,762 --> 00:14:02,380
Okay, this house is literally,
like, 15,000 square feet.
337
00:14:02,431 --> 00:14:04,099
There's only one reason why the killer
338
00:14:04,133 --> 00:14:05,800
would do something like this...
339
00:14:05,834 --> 00:14:07,635
To pick us off one by one.
340
00:14:07,669 --> 00:14:09,003
That's what I would do.
341
00:14:10,523 --> 00:14:12,941
Guess it's just a matter
of time before one of us
342
00:14:12,975 --> 00:14:15,977
or all of us ends up dead.
343
00:14:27,192 --> 00:14:28,725
You're go for Chad Radwell.
344
00:14:28,776 --> 00:14:30,277
Chad, it's me, Chanel.
345
00:14:30,311 --> 00:14:32,779
Well, well, well. Isn't this a coincidence.
346
00:14:32,814 --> 00:14:35,649
I was headed over to Kappa House
to steal some of your panties.
347
00:14:35,683 --> 00:14:37,684
Oh, Chad, that's amazing.
I love you so much.
348
00:14:37,702 --> 00:14:38,952
But, Chad, listen.
349
00:14:38,987 --> 00:14:40,654
You have to help us.
350
00:14:40,688 --> 00:14:42,289
We're trapped in the house
and the power went out
351
00:14:42,323 --> 00:14:43,824
and my phone is the only one that's working
352
00:14:43,858 --> 00:14:45,358
because I'm pretty sure the killer
353
00:14:45,376 --> 00:14:47,244
knocked down a cell tower or something.
354
00:14:47,295 --> 00:14:48,745
Wait, well, why does yours work, then?
355
00:14:48,796 --> 00:14:50,130
Because mine's a satellite phone.
356
00:14:50,165 --> 00:14:52,466
Elon Musk gave it to me. It's
designed for space travel.
357
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:54,084
My dad is super gross rich, Chad.
358
00:14:54,135 --> 00:14:56,303
I know. That's my favorite
thing about you, baby.
359
00:14:56,337 --> 00:14:58,972
Look, Chanel, before I come
and save you and whatnot,
360
00:14:59,007 --> 00:15:00,974
I got to get some things off my chest.
361
00:15:01,009 --> 00:15:03,677
- A, I had sex with the dean.
- What?
362
00:15:03,711 --> 00:15:05,646
Look, I'm prepared to
say I'm sorry I did that.
363
00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:08,015
What I'm not prepared to
do is say the sex was bad.
364
00:15:08,049 --> 00:15:09,382
Because it was not.
365
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:11,218
Oh, also, I hooked up with
the, uh, security guard.
366
00:15:11,236 --> 00:15:13,053
- Officer Hemphill?
- Yeah.
367
00:15:13,071 --> 00:15:14,821
Yeah. I'm not gonna apologize for that one.
368
00:15:14,856 --> 00:15:16,156
Chad, I'm about to get murdered,
369
00:15:16,191 --> 00:15:17,824
so can you please just
hang up and get over here?
370
00:15:17,859 --> 00:15:19,660
Chad Radwell is on the way.
371
00:15:19,694 --> 00:15:21,695
I love you, Chad.
372
00:15:23,248 --> 00:15:25,666
Hello?
373
00:15:25,700 --> 00:15:28,452
I... love you, too, sort of.
374
00:15:32,207 --> 00:15:34,708
How on earth are we supposed to get in
375
00:15:34,742 --> 00:15:36,677
if all the doors and windows are locked?
376
00:15:36,711 --> 00:15:40,214
Dude, we climb up the ladder,
break the windows upstairs,
377
00:15:40,248 --> 00:15:42,849
save all the girls, climb back down,
378
00:15:42,884 --> 00:15:44,885
then it's Vagina City for all of us.
379
00:15:44,919 --> 00:15:46,853
I thought you said Chanel had
all the windows bomb-proofed
380
00:15:46,888 --> 00:15:48,522
so that we can't break them.
381
00:15:48,556 --> 00:15:51,191
Yeah... downstairs windows, dude.
382
00:15:51,226 --> 00:15:53,026
Why would you bomb-proof upstairs windows?
383
00:15:53,061 --> 00:15:54,311
For what, like, a flying bomb?
384
00:15:54,362 --> 00:15:57,030
A flying bomb would be a missile, Chad.
385
00:15:57,065 --> 00:15:59,199
Honestly, where's the Red
Devil gonna get a missile?
386
00:15:59,234 --> 00:16:02,319
Don't be an idiot. Hold
this. It's hero time.
387
00:16:04,038 --> 00:16:05,372
Ah, here we go.
388
00:16:08,276 --> 00:16:11,211
Chad, you've come for me.
389
00:16:11,246 --> 00:16:12,879
Save me and I'm yours forever.
390
00:16:15,616 --> 00:16:17,718
I'm not really sure I'm ready
for that level of commitment.
391
00:16:17,752 --> 00:16:20,220
Chad, please, I'm trapped
in the house with a killer.
392
00:16:20,255 --> 00:16:21,221
Break the glass!
393
00:16:21,256 --> 00:16:23,674
Not until you take back what you said.
394
00:16:23,725 --> 00:16:26,009
Fine, just save me, Chad.
395
00:16:26,060 --> 00:16:27,060
And?
396
00:16:28,096 --> 00:16:29,896
And I'm yours for an amount of time
397
00:16:29,931 --> 00:16:31,348
you feel is appropriate.
398
00:16:31,399 --> 00:16:32,733
Stand back, fair maiden.
399
00:16:32,767 --> 00:16:35,269
Chad's about to be a hero.
400
00:16:40,641 --> 00:16:43,076
Oh, Chad!
401
00:16:47,248 --> 00:16:48,532
Whoa, Red Devil!
402
00:16:48,583 --> 00:16:50,984
Get up here now! Go, go, go, go, go. Climb.
403
00:16:51,002 --> 00:16:52,753
Red Devil, coming in hot!
404
00:16:52,787 --> 00:16:53,920
He's moving.
405
00:16:53,955 --> 00:16:55,205
Oh, he's moving, he's moving.
406
00:16:55,256 --> 00:16:56,757
Hurry. Caulfield, you climb.
407
00:16:56,791 --> 00:16:59,209
You climb, you armless bastard!
408
00:16:59,260 --> 00:17:00,927
I'm gonna make
it. I'm gonna make it.
409
00:17:00,962 --> 00:17:03,714
Chad, no, that's the only phone we have!
410
00:17:03,765 --> 00:17:06,300
Tonight is not the night
Caulfield Mount Herman dies!
411
00:17:07,135 --> 00:17:08,719
Come on!
412
00:17:12,307 --> 00:17:13,774
What do we do now?
413
00:17:13,808 --> 00:17:15,392
The only thing we can do:
414
00:17:15,443 --> 00:17:17,944
give him the dignity of watching him die.
415
00:17:24,202 --> 00:17:26,453
Okay, okay,
416
00:17:26,487 --> 00:17:27,654
okay, he's good, he's good.
417
00:17:29,824 --> 00:17:31,742
Oh! God.
418
00:17:33,795 --> 00:17:35,128
No, no, not the head.
419
00:17:35,163 --> 00:17:36,296
Oh, he's going for the...
420
00:17:38,166 --> 00:17:40,751
Well, that answers that.
421
00:17:40,802 --> 00:17:42,669
Someone in this house definitely
knows who the killer is.
422
00:17:42,703 --> 00:17:44,943
I hear you loud and clear,
girl. It's Truth or Dare time.
423
00:17:44,972 --> 00:17:47,007
Wait, Zayday, stop.
424
00:17:47,041 --> 00:17:48,642
Wh-What are we doing?
425
00:17:48,676 --> 00:17:50,260
Whatever it takes to stop
the douche that's trying
426
00:17:50,311 --> 00:17:52,145
to kill everybody. No, I
mean, like, what are we doing?
427
00:17:52,180 --> 00:17:54,431
I mean, do you ever just stop
428
00:17:54,482 --> 00:17:57,317
and ask yourself if we
can actually pull this off?
429
00:17:57,352 --> 00:17:58,602
Maybe...
430
00:17:58,653 --> 00:18:00,821
maybe we all just need to get out of here.
431
00:18:00,855 --> 00:18:03,056
Leave school. The best way
432
00:18:03,074 --> 00:18:05,575
to avoid a shark attack
is to not go in the water.
433
00:18:07,412 --> 00:18:09,613
We all have a crisis of faith sometimes.
434
00:18:09,664 --> 00:18:12,565
But no one is gonna tell a sisterhood
435
00:18:12,583 --> 00:18:14,901
with Zayday Williams as the president
436
00:18:14,919 --> 00:18:16,370
when they can and can't go swimming.
437
00:18:16,404 --> 00:18:18,338
So pull it together
438
00:18:18,373 --> 00:18:20,707
and let's go play this
game of Truth or Dare.
439
00:18:20,741 --> 00:18:22,676
'Cause ain't nothing and no one
440
00:18:22,710 --> 00:18:24,461
stopping the hot tsunami of truth
441
00:18:24,512 --> 00:18:26,129
rolling into this house tonight.
442
00:18:35,786 --> 00:18:38,037
All right, you guys.
It's time to play a game
443
00:18:38,088 --> 00:18:41,040
- of Truth or Dare.
- Just saying,
444
00:18:41,091 --> 00:18:42,959
now would be the time
to play Spin the Bottle.
445
00:18:42,993 --> 00:18:44,210
We finally have some Dickies here.
446
00:18:44,261 --> 00:18:45,261
Someone in this house
447
00:18:45,296 --> 00:18:46,329
knows something about the murderer
448
00:18:46,347 --> 00:18:47,430
that they're not telling us,
449
00:18:47,465 --> 00:18:49,382
and I intend to find out what.
450
00:18:49,433 --> 00:18:51,384
Okay, here's how the game works.
451
00:18:51,435 --> 00:18:54,721
When it's your turn, you have
a choice of Truth or Dare.
452
00:18:54,772 --> 00:18:58,475
If you choose truth, you
have to tell the truth.
453
00:18:58,509 --> 00:19:00,560
And if you choose dare...
454
00:19:00,611 --> 00:19:03,947
I don't know. Maybe
you're hiding something.
455
00:19:03,981 --> 00:19:07,116
Ooh! Yes.
456
00:19:07,151 --> 00:19:08,785
But wouldn't you just lie?
457
00:19:08,819 --> 00:19:10,286
I mean, if I were the killer,
458
00:19:10,321 --> 00:19:12,622
I'd pick truth and then just lie.
459
00:19:14,625 --> 00:19:17,126
Well, the-the game's not
Truth or Dare or Lie.
460
00:19:17,161 --> 00:19:19,028
Just Truth or Dare.
461
00:19:19,046 --> 00:19:20,914
If you want to lie, you can just pick dare.
462
00:19:20,965 --> 00:19:24,167
No, you'd pick truth and then you'd lie.
463
00:19:24,201 --> 00:19:27,637
No, you
can't lie. That's the...
464
00:19:27,671 --> 00:19:30,173
that's the whole point of
Truth or Dare. You can't lie.
465
00:19:30,207 --> 00:19:33,309
But... I'm sorry, the
game's pretty damn simple!
466
00:19:33,344 --> 00:19:37,013
Okay? It's Truth or Dare,
all right? If you pick
467
00:19:37,047 --> 00:19:39,983
truth, you have to tell the
truth. If you pick dare...
468
00:19:40,017 --> 00:19:41,935
it's gonna be really
suspicious, and I'm gonna think
469
00:19:41,986 --> 00:19:44,270
you had something to do
with my sweet bro Boone dying
470
00:19:44,321 --> 00:19:45,488
and my rad bro Caulfield
471
00:19:45,523 --> 00:19:46,889
getting his arms...
472
00:19:46,907 --> 00:19:48,324
and then his head chopped off!
473
00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:51,394
And Dodger. Will you stop
whining about Dodger?!
474
00:19:51,412 --> 00:19:53,062
Everybody agrees that
dude was holding you back.
475
00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:54,397
Nobody misses him.
476
00:19:54,415 --> 00:19:55,949
Now let's play some Truth or Dare
477
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,334
and find out who the killer is.
478
00:20:01,539 --> 00:20:04,173
Number Five, truth or dare?
479
00:20:04,208 --> 00:20:05,842
Truth.
480
00:20:05,876 --> 00:20:07,377
Okay. Number Five,
481
00:20:07,411 --> 00:20:09,546
does your vagina have teeth?
482
00:20:13,517 --> 00:20:15,468
That's insane.
483
00:20:15,519 --> 00:20:17,136
No, it doesn't, Chanel.
484
00:20:17,187 --> 00:20:18,471
I thought she wasn't allowed to lie.
485
00:20:18,522 --> 00:20:20,139
I'm not lying.
486
00:20:20,190 --> 00:20:21,257
My vagina doesn't have teeth.
487
00:20:21,275 --> 00:20:22,525
Can I rephrase the question?
488
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:23,526
Does your vagina
489
00:20:23,561 --> 00:20:25,194
still have teeth?
490
00:20:25,229 --> 00:20:27,313
No! The answer is no! "No,
it no longer has teeth,
491
00:20:27,364 --> 00:20:29,482
so it used to have teeth,
but you got them removed"?
492
00:20:29,533 --> 00:20:31,701
No, I didn't. So your
vagina still has teeth.
493
00:20:31,735 --> 00:20:33,036
Which one is it, Number Five?
494
00:20:33,070 --> 00:20:35,438
Sounds like you're
trapped in a web of lies.
495
00:20:35,456 --> 00:20:38,107
You're forfeiting your turn, bitch.
496
00:20:39,443 --> 00:20:42,912
Um... okay, I guess it's my turn, then.
497
00:20:44,448 --> 00:20:46,549
Sam.
498
00:20:46,584 --> 00:20:49,552
Truth... or dare?
499
00:20:49,587 --> 00:20:51,721
Truth.
500
00:20:51,755 --> 00:20:55,391
What is Chanel #3's
deepest, darkest secret?
501
00:20:55,426 --> 00:20:56,843
Oh, my God.
502
00:20:56,894 --> 00:20:58,561
She knows I have weird feelings for her.
503
00:20:58,596 --> 00:21:00,563
She's gonna tell everyone.
I have to just blurt it out.
504
00:21:00,598 --> 00:21:03,132
Her deepest, darkest secret is...
505
00:21:03,150 --> 00:21:05,735
Her father is Charles Manson. I
have weird, sexy feelings for Sam.
506
00:21:05,769 --> 00:21:07,403
What?
507
00:21:07,438 --> 00:21:09,238
Hold on.
508
00:21:09,273 --> 00:21:10,740
What did you just say?
509
00:21:10,774 --> 00:21:14,494
I have weird sexy feelings for Sam.
510
00:21:15,479 --> 00:21:16,913
Wh-What did you just say?
511
00:21:16,947 --> 00:21:18,915
Her father is Charles Manson.
512
00:21:18,949 --> 00:21:22,085
Okay, can I just say, Number
Three is definitely the killer.
513
00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:23,419
No, I'm not!
514
00:21:23,454 --> 00:21:24,954
You promised you wouldn't tell.
515
00:21:24,988 --> 00:21:26,422
Sorry. I had to tell the truth.
516
00:21:26,457 --> 00:21:27,624
Of course you're the killer.
517
00:21:27,658 --> 00:21:28,958
I mean, your dad's Charles Manson, dude.
518
00:21:28,992 --> 00:21:30,593
If you're not the killer,
you should probably...
519
00:21:30,628 --> 00:21:31,761
you know, give it a shot.
520
00:21:31,795 --> 00:21:33,262
I think you'd be pretty good at it.
521
00:21:33,297 --> 00:21:34,964
Thanks.
522
00:21:34,998 --> 00:21:36,999
My turn.
523
00:21:37,017 --> 00:21:39,268
Sam, truth or dare.
524
00:21:39,303 --> 00:21:41,304
I just went. Truth or dare?!
525
00:21:41,338 --> 00:21:42,939
Dare. I dare you
526
00:21:42,973 --> 00:21:45,608
to go down to the creepy
Kappa House basement
527
00:21:45,643 --> 00:21:48,061
where we keep all our
deepest, darkest secrets,
528
00:21:48,112 --> 00:21:50,480
and take a little nap in the bathtub.
529
00:21:52,533 --> 00:21:53,950
Fine.
530
00:21:55,686 --> 00:21:57,787
Yes! Bathtub naps. This is getting good.
531
00:21:57,821 --> 00:22:00,573
Okay, guys, I propose
we take a little break,
532
00:22:00,624 --> 00:22:01,791
you know,
533
00:22:01,825 --> 00:22:03,459
take a whiz, get a refill.
534
00:22:03,494 --> 00:22:05,461
Bro, grab my phone.
535
00:22:05,496 --> 00:22:07,630
There's a little playlist I
put together called "Douche."
536
00:22:07,665 --> 00:22:09,916
I want you to call that up
on the Bluetooth speakers
537
00:22:09,967 --> 00:22:11,334
so we can get our dance on.
538
00:22:11,368 --> 00:22:13,336
Truth or dare!
539
00:22:16,707 --> 00:22:18,541
Look, I'm really sorry.
540
00:22:18,559 --> 00:22:22,311
You know what? I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I ever trusted you.
541
00:22:22,346 --> 00:22:24,347
But I wanted to talk about
the other thing you said,
542
00:22:24,381 --> 00:22:26,048
about how you thought
you had feelings for me.
543
00:22:26,066 --> 00:22:27,600
The only feelings I have for you now
544
00:22:27,651 --> 00:22:29,435
are rage and pissed-offedness.
545
00:22:29,486 --> 00:22:31,821
Now go sit in that bathtub and
think about what you've done
546
00:22:31,855 --> 00:22:33,889
and try not to rub one out, okay?
547
00:22:36,393 --> 00:22:39,028
Come on! I said I was sorry!
548
00:23:47,598 --> 00:23:50,566
Hello?
549
00:23:50,601 --> 00:23:53,302
If anybody's down here,
please don't jump out at me.
550
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:56,355
I have a thing about that.
551
00:24:20,764 --> 00:24:22,765
Is that blood?
552
00:24:34,478 --> 00:24:36,445
Wait. If you're gonna kill me,
553
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:38,514
at least show me who you are first.
554
00:24:41,518 --> 00:24:43,686
I knew it. I knew it was you.
555
00:24:46,707 --> 00:24:49,625
Please. You don't have to do this.
556
00:24:49,660 --> 00:24:51,627
I could help you.
557
00:25:02,310 --> 00:25:03,927
Hi, Chad.
558
00:25:03,961 --> 00:25:05,295
The killer took all the food
559
00:25:05,313 --> 00:25:07,397
out of all the cabinets and left us nothing
560
00:25:07,432 --> 00:25:09,112
but watermelon lime coolers in the fridge.
561
00:25:10,235 --> 00:25:12,069
He's trying to starve us to death.
562
00:25:12,103 --> 00:25:14,188
There's never any food
in there. Just laxatives.
563
00:25:14,239 --> 00:25:16,240
Chanel's orders. Chad,
564
00:25:16,274 --> 00:25:18,442
after our erotic bonding
session in the cemetery
565
00:25:18,476 --> 00:25:21,078
and our coitus interruptus
in the haunted house,
566
00:25:21,112 --> 00:25:23,580
I got the impression that
you and I are on the verge
567
00:25:23,615 --> 00:25:25,782
of being the next "it" couple.
568
00:25:25,833 --> 00:25:28,035
Yeah.
569
00:25:28,086 --> 00:25:30,287
I just don't know what
would make you think that.
570
00:25:30,321 --> 00:25:32,256
You texted me saying, "We are on the verge
571
00:25:32,290 --> 00:25:34,208
of being the next 'it'
couple, Hester. Love, Chad."
572
00:25:34,259 --> 00:25:36,260
See, this is the problem
with texting, you know?
573
00:25:36,294 --> 00:25:38,428
You can't hear the context.
574
00:25:38,463 --> 00:25:40,597
You've been spending a lot
of time with Chanel tonight.
575
00:25:40,632 --> 00:25:43,934
Even though I decided to not wear a bra,
576
00:25:43,968 --> 00:25:47,604
you haven't been staring
at my shirt raisins once.
577
00:25:47,639 --> 00:25:49,940
Okay, look, I was waiting
to talk to you about this
578
00:25:49,974 --> 00:25:51,775
'cause secretly I was
hoping you'd be killed
579
00:25:51,809 --> 00:25:53,510
and I wouldn't have to hurt your feelings.
580
00:25:53,528 --> 00:25:55,646
I just don't think it
would work out with us.
581
00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:58,348
You're nuts, and not like
a typical crazy-eyes co-ed,
582
00:25:58,366 --> 00:26:00,317
but wake-up-with-my
penis-in-a-jar lunatic.
583
00:26:00,351 --> 00:26:02,185
Now, that puts me in a tough spot
584
00:26:02,203 --> 00:26:04,621
because that also means
you'd be the screw of my life.
585
00:26:04,656 --> 00:26:06,490
I mean, that kind of
insanity means your muffin...
586
00:26:06,524 --> 00:26:08,125
It's Space Mountain levels of fun.
587
00:26:08,159 --> 00:26:11,161
I love Space Mountain.
Best ride at Disneyland.
588
00:26:11,195 --> 00:26:12,496
But I love my penis more.
589
00:26:12,530 --> 00:26:14,298
Let me tell you two things about me.
590
00:26:14,332 --> 00:26:15,966
Okay.
591
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:19,303
Number one... I never
take second place.
592
00:26:19,337 --> 00:26:22,973
And number two... I don't
stop till I get what I want.
593
00:26:23,007 --> 00:26:24,040
What's going on in here?
594
00:26:24,058 --> 00:26:25,642
Nothing, Chanel.
595
00:26:25,677 --> 00:26:28,712
Just getting some wine
coolers for my sisters.
596
00:26:28,730 --> 00:26:31,682
By the way, Chanel, you
look amazing tonight.
597
00:26:31,716 --> 00:26:33,684
Being imprisoned by a psycho killer
598
00:26:33,718 --> 00:26:35,552
in your own house really suits you.
599
00:26:39,357 --> 00:26:41,358
Was that salad spinner hitting on you?
600
00:26:41,392 --> 00:26:44,227
Yeah, totally, which is
why I'm glad you showed up.
601
00:26:44,245 --> 00:26:47,497
I am super turned on from her,
and I need some sweet release.
602
00:26:47,532 --> 00:26:50,117
Is there any, like,
Crisco or cooking oil here?
603
00:26:50,168 --> 00:26:51,868
Just, like, dry handies bum me out.
604
00:26:53,538 --> 00:26:55,038
I have a better idea.
605
00:26:55,072 --> 00:26:56,239
Let's go out
606
00:26:56,257 --> 00:26:57,574
and join the others.
607
00:26:57,592 --> 00:26:59,009
It's game time again.
608
00:27:01,212 --> 00:27:04,247
As Kappa House copresident,
I think I can speak
609
00:27:04,265 --> 00:27:07,184
for everyone when I say
we've all been through hell.
610
00:27:07,218 --> 00:27:10,687
So, I propose we treat
ourselves to a little heaven.
611
00:27:10,722 --> 00:27:12,189
Seven Minutes in Heaven.
612
00:27:12,223 --> 00:27:13,357
I go first,
613
00:27:13,391 --> 00:27:15,192
and I pick Chad. Wait. No. Hold on.
614
00:27:15,226 --> 00:27:16,360
The whole point of this slumber party was
615
00:27:16,394 --> 00:27:17,561
to figure out who the killer is.
616
00:27:17,595 --> 00:27:18,812
Oh, give it a rest,
617
00:27:18,863 --> 00:27:20,030
Nancy Drew.
618
00:27:20,064 --> 00:27:21,765
Whatever your plan was, it isn't working.
619
00:27:21,783 --> 00:27:23,233
So, if you'll excuse me for seven minutes,
620
00:27:23,267 --> 00:27:25,902
I'm going to ask my
boyfriend, Chad Radwell,
621
00:27:25,936 --> 00:27:27,404
to dial "O"
622
00:27:27,438 --> 00:27:28,572
on my pink telephone.
623
00:27:28,606 --> 00:27:30,040
Chad?
624
00:27:30,074 --> 00:27:32,034
Would you like to pat the
little man in the canoe?
625
00:27:40,284 --> 00:27:41,785
I'm making out with you.
626
00:27:41,803 --> 00:27:43,787
I'm making out with you so hard.
627
00:27:45,223 --> 00:27:46,956
- Oh, Chad?
- Mm-hmm.
628
00:27:46,974 --> 00:27:48,592
Chad?
629
00:27:48,626 --> 00:27:51,628
I want to take our
relationship to the next level.
630
00:27:51,646 --> 00:27:53,397
What?
631
00:27:53,431 --> 00:27:55,799
Well...
632
00:27:55,817 --> 00:27:57,100
I want us to be together,
633
00:27:57,134 --> 00:27:59,069
but I want it to mean something.
634
00:27:59,103 --> 00:28:01,104
Yeah. No, I'm ready to do this.
635
00:28:01,138 --> 00:28:03,573
- What? Really?
- Definitely. I mean,
636
00:28:03,608 --> 00:28:05,859
I love boning girls all
over this great land.
637
00:28:05,910 --> 00:28:08,111
But really, at the end of the day,
638
00:28:08,145 --> 00:28:09,746
I just kind of want to bone one girl.
639
00:28:09,781 --> 00:28:11,981
Like, that one special girl.
640
00:28:11,999 --> 00:28:14,201
And I don't know. I just
didn't think that girl was you
641
00:28:14,252 --> 00:28:16,586
because, obviously, there's
so much wrong with you.
642
00:28:16,621 --> 00:28:20,257
But then I think about
the good things about you.
643
00:28:20,291 --> 00:28:23,794
Like... like how gullible you are,
644
00:28:23,828 --> 00:28:25,796
how rich your dad is.
645
00:28:25,830 --> 00:28:28,164
And when I think
about that girl...
646
00:28:28,182 --> 00:28:31,268
The really rich one
who's easy to trick...
647
00:28:31,302 --> 00:28:32,936
I think she's pretty special, too.
648
00:28:32,970 --> 00:28:34,771
Chad!
649
00:28:39,343 --> 00:28:41,511
Chanel?
650
00:28:41,529 --> 00:28:43,780
Will you get back together with me?
651
00:28:43,815 --> 00:28:48,235
Look, all of these murders
on campus have caused me
652
00:28:48,286 --> 00:28:50,620
to do a lot of soul searching,
653
00:28:50,655 --> 00:28:52,522
and I think I've arrived at a place
654
00:28:52,540 --> 00:28:54,124
of deep personal awareness.
655
00:28:54,158 --> 00:28:58,912
So, I would consider taking
you back under one condition.
656
00:28:58,963 --> 00:29:02,532
You have to pinky-pledge that
you will be monogamous to me.
657
00:29:02,550 --> 00:29:04,668
You will not have sex with anyone else.
658
00:29:04,702 --> 00:29:05,802
Do you understand me?
659
00:29:15,146 --> 00:29:16,847
Okay.
660
00:29:16,881 --> 00:29:18,548
Oh, Chad!
661
00:29:19,884 --> 00:29:22,652
Okay, time's up.
662
00:29:24,522 --> 00:29:26,490
Roger, we're next.
663
00:29:26,524 --> 00:29:28,658
Roger?!
664
00:29:45,877 --> 00:29:47,344
I came to see if Sam needed anything,
665
00:29:47,378 --> 00:29:48,712
but she doesn't because she's dead!
666
00:29:48,746 --> 00:29:51,548
Dude, she looks like prepackaged
meat from the supermarket.
667
00:29:52,917 --> 00:29:54,134
Show some respect.
668
00:29:54,185 --> 00:29:55,552
Wait.
669
00:29:55,586 --> 00:29:57,587
If she's dead and all the doors
are locked from the outside,
670
00:29:57,605 --> 00:29:59,022
that means the killer is in the house!
671
00:29:59,056 --> 00:30:00,891
Oh, God, has someone checked on the kids?
672
00:30:00,925 --> 00:30:03,059
The killer is
standing right in front of us.
673
00:30:03,093 --> 00:30:05,812
Pretty convenient that you're
the one who found the body.
674
00:30:05,863 --> 00:30:07,647
I would be offended by
that accusation, Chanel,
675
00:30:07,698 --> 00:30:10,066
if I wasn't so honored that
you were thinking about me.
676
00:30:10,100 --> 00:30:11,768
You can knock off the "neck
brace in the headlights" act.
677
00:30:11,786 --> 00:30:13,069
You're the darkest bitch of them all.
678
00:30:13,103 --> 00:30:15,071
Number 3 told me that you were the one
679
00:30:15,105 --> 00:30:16,740
who turned me in to the police.
680
00:30:16,774 --> 00:30:18,325
Those are some serious accusations,
681
00:30:18,376 --> 00:30:19,776
and they make no sense.
682
00:30:19,794 --> 00:30:21,211
Considering everything that I've seen
683
00:30:21,245 --> 00:30:23,213
and done for you here,
Chanel... Ms. Bean,
684
00:30:23,247 --> 00:30:25,582
Number Two. I would be
opening myself up to a lot
685
00:30:25,616 --> 00:30:27,384
of trouble if I were to turn
you in to the authorities.
686
00:30:27,418 --> 00:30:28,718
It doesn't do any of us any good
687
00:30:28,753 --> 00:30:30,554
to start accusing each
other with no evidence.
688
00:30:30,588 --> 00:30:31,721
But it is pretty suspicious
689
00:30:31,756 --> 00:30:33,590
that you're the one who found her, Hester.
690
00:30:33,624 --> 00:30:35,342
Okay, I understand.
691
00:30:35,393 --> 00:30:37,761
I suggest that we just have
someone stand guard and watch me
692
00:30:37,795 --> 00:30:39,963
for the rest of the night,
or until someone else dies,
693
00:30:39,981 --> 00:30:41,565
therefore proving that I am not the killer.
694
00:30:41,599 --> 00:30:42,732
I nominate Chad.
695
00:30:42,767 --> 00:30:44,401
Screw that, Evil Harrington.
696
00:30:44,435 --> 00:30:46,436
We're locking you upstairs in my closet
697
00:30:46,470 --> 00:30:48,438
until we can find a way out of here.
698
00:30:57,832 --> 00:30:59,533
This feels so good.
699
00:30:59,584 --> 00:31:02,369
Yeah, it does. No, not this.
700
00:31:02,420 --> 00:31:05,372
I mean, it feels so good
now that my brother's gone.
701
00:31:05,423 --> 00:31:07,323
It's such a relief.
702
00:31:07,341 --> 00:31:09,543
The only time we've ever been apart
703
00:31:09,594 --> 00:31:11,962
was the two minutes
that separated our birth.
704
00:31:11,996 --> 00:31:13,597
The only bummer is, like,
705
00:31:13,631 --> 00:31:15,465
we created this amazing clicking language,
706
00:31:15,499 --> 00:31:17,467
and now I have nobody to use it with.
707
00:31:17,501 --> 00:31:19,669
Wait. I could teach you!
708
00:31:19,687 --> 00:31:22,939
Okay, okay, so, two high
clicks means, "Hello."
709
00:31:22,974 --> 00:31:24,274
Okay, so...
710
00:31:25,860 --> 00:31:27,277
And three low clicks means,
711
00:31:27,311 --> 00:31:29,229
"Man, this ice cream is delicious."
712
00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:30,280
Okay, so...
713
00:31:54,870 --> 00:31:56,788
I tried to scream, but nothing came out!
714
00:31:56,822 --> 00:31:58,372
Roger... Roger...
715
00:31:58,407 --> 00:31:59,824
And then he was just gone!
716
00:31:59,875 --> 00:32:01,826
The Red Devil shot Roger in the head
717
00:32:01,877 --> 00:32:03,795
with the nail gun, and
then he just disappeared!
718
00:32:03,829 --> 00:32:06,130
Okay. Here's what we know.
719
00:32:06,165 --> 00:32:08,883
One... Number Five is a
psychopath who no one likes.
720
00:32:08,917 --> 00:32:09,884
Two...
721
00:32:09,918 --> 00:32:11,285
She went in the closet
722
00:32:11,303 --> 00:32:13,504
to play Seven Minutes in
Heaven with her boyfriend,
723
00:32:13,555 --> 00:32:14,955
and then he ends up dead!
724
00:32:14,973 --> 00:32:16,474
Clearly, Chanel #5 is the killer!
725
00:32:16,508 --> 00:32:18,810
But when the Dickie Dollars got attacked,
726
00:32:18,844 --> 00:32:21,345
and Caulfield got his arms chopped off...
727
00:32:21,396 --> 00:32:24,015
there were two Devils. Dos Diablos.
728
00:32:24,066 --> 00:32:26,984
Okay, fine. Hester is one of the killers,
729
00:32:27,019 --> 00:32:28,853
and the other is Chanel #5.
730
00:32:28,904 --> 00:32:31,155
Even though I firmly believe
the psychotic twin duo
731
00:32:31,190 --> 00:32:33,307
of Number Five and Number
Six are the killers...
732
00:32:34,576 --> 00:32:36,027
I have a pressing question
733
00:32:36,078 --> 00:32:37,578
for Haggie Gyllenhaal.
734
00:32:37,613 --> 00:32:39,697
Isn't it interesting that my former stalker
735
00:32:39,748 --> 00:32:42,083
and your current boyfriend
Pete isn't here tonight?
736
00:32:42,117 --> 00:32:44,202
He told me he was studying tonight.
737
00:32:44,253 --> 00:32:46,654
He did. He
told me he was studying.
738
00:32:46,672 --> 00:32:47,755
Interesting.
739
00:32:47,790 --> 00:32:49,040
That's all I'm gonna say.
740
00:32:49,091 --> 00:32:50,208
Interesting.
741
00:32:50,259 --> 00:32:52,376
Oh, dudes,
742
00:32:52,427 --> 00:32:54,262
there is a trapdoor
743
00:32:54,296 --> 00:32:55,663
with, like, a tunnel system.
744
00:32:55,681 --> 00:32:57,331
See, Chanel? I wasn't lying.
745
00:32:57,349 --> 00:32:58,499
But wait, there are secret tunnels
746
00:32:58,517 --> 00:33:00,718
in this house perfect for a killer to use,
747
00:33:00,769 --> 00:33:02,553
and you neglected to tell us?
748
00:33:02,604 --> 00:33:04,055
That's a little suspicious.
749
00:33:04,106 --> 00:33:06,173
Okay, look. We are losing
sight of the big picture here.
750
00:33:06,191 --> 00:33:07,225
Chanel couldn't have killed Roger
751
00:33:07,276 --> 00:33:08,860
because she was with us when it happened.
752
00:33:08,894 --> 00:33:10,444
None of us killed him. While Chanel #5
753
00:33:10,479 --> 00:33:12,063
and Roger were in the closet,
754
00:33:12,114 --> 00:33:14,699
we were all together... which
means none of us did it.
755
00:33:14,733 --> 00:33:16,183
I'm going down there. Are you crazy?!
756
00:33:16,201 --> 00:33:18,035
The Red Devil could still be in the house.
757
00:33:18,070 --> 00:33:20,238
Both of the Red Devils
could still be in the house.
758
00:33:20,289 --> 00:33:21,956
Look, this house is sealed up, right?
759
00:33:21,990 --> 00:33:24,125
Doors and windows locked. So if none of us
760
00:33:24,159 --> 00:33:26,961
is the killer, that tunnel
is how the Red Devil got in.
761
00:33:26,995 --> 00:33:28,529
That also means it's our way out.
762
00:33:28,547 --> 00:33:30,081
I'm not going down there.
763
00:33:30,132 --> 00:33:32,032
I do not dig on cobwebs, and I'm guessing
764
00:33:32,050 --> 00:33:33,751
there are loads of cobwebs down there.
765
00:33:33,802 --> 00:33:36,203
I'm going with her.
766
00:33:36,221 --> 00:33:37,922
We're copresidents of this house
767
00:33:37,973 --> 00:33:40,675
and responsible for what
happens under this roof.
768
00:33:42,477 --> 00:33:44,378
Chanel...
769
00:33:44,396 --> 00:33:46,597
if you get murdered in those tunnels,
770
00:33:46,648 --> 00:33:50,050
I promise I will never bang
anyone harder than I banged you.
771
00:33:50,068 --> 00:33:50,902
Chad...
772
00:33:50,936 --> 00:33:51,819
Let's do this.
773
00:33:51,854 --> 00:33:54,405
I love you.
774
00:33:54,439 --> 00:33:57,074
Oh... you're so rich and hot.
775
00:34:20,182 --> 00:34:23,134
These are the nicest secret
tunnels I've ever seen.
776
00:34:23,185 --> 00:34:25,136
These tunnels were designed and decorated
777
00:34:25,187 --> 00:34:28,806
by founding Kappa sister
Madam Cynthia Rogers Bouvet.
778
00:34:28,857 --> 00:34:31,425
She was the interior decorator
for both the Cleveland
779
00:34:31,443 --> 00:34:33,978
and Taft Administrations.
780
00:34:40,402 --> 00:34:44,605
She had affairs with both of them.
781
00:34:44,623 --> 00:34:47,625
Rumor has it Taft fell
asleep while mounting her
782
00:34:47,659 --> 00:34:51,045
and crushed her to death.
783
00:34:51,079 --> 00:34:53,331
These are all past presidents.
784
00:34:53,382 --> 00:34:55,333
Marcy Weiss...
785
00:34:55,384 --> 00:34:58,135
Kappa president 1928 to 1930.
786
00:34:58,170 --> 00:35:00,838
She helped Kappa avoid the
misery of the Great Depression
787
00:35:00,889 --> 00:35:03,224
by kicking out any sister
whose family was affected
788
00:35:03,258 --> 00:35:05,760
by the crash of '29 and
couldn't pay their dues.
789
00:35:07,095 --> 00:35:08,646
Wandy Hart...
790
00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:10,648
Kappa president 1970.
791
00:35:10,682 --> 00:35:12,066
Personally responsible
792
00:35:12,100 --> 00:35:14,352
for crushing the antiwar movement on campus
793
00:35:14,403 --> 00:35:17,805
by having the administration
ban macramé, fringed vests
794
00:35:17,823 --> 00:35:20,241
and Creedence Clearwater Revival songs.
795
00:35:21,276 --> 00:35:23,327
Missy Carmichael...
796
00:35:23,362 --> 00:35:25,529
Kappa president 1986.
797
00:35:25,580 --> 00:35:29,166
A pioneer in bringing
cocaine to Kappa Kappa Tau.
798
00:35:31,203 --> 00:35:32,920
Wow. What amazing legacies
799
00:35:32,955 --> 00:35:34,205
they all have.
800
00:35:34,256 --> 00:35:36,156
What do you think ours will be?
801
00:35:36,174 --> 00:35:38,826
If we can get through this year
without everyone getting killed,
802
00:35:38,844 --> 00:35:41,379
I think we'll go down as
the greatest of them all.
803
00:36:19,584 --> 00:36:21,419
Come on!
804
00:36:30,645 --> 00:36:33,314
- You came back for me.
- Purely selfish.
805
00:36:33,348 --> 00:36:36,484
If I'm gonna survive this thing,
I'm gonna need the numbers.
806
00:36:42,177 --> 00:36:44,011
Don't you see that all the killings
807
00:36:44,045 --> 00:36:46,779
have been about Kappa?
Well, except for Coney,
808
00:36:46,780 --> 00:36:48,481
but he was just irritating.
809
00:36:48,566 --> 00:36:50,767
Yeah, that's becoming pretty obvious.
810
00:36:50,818 --> 00:36:53,820
You are probably the worst cop ever.
811
00:36:53,854 --> 00:36:56,106
We're pretty much gonna focus
812
00:36:56,157 --> 00:36:58,274
all of our attention on
protecting this house.
813
00:36:58,425 --> 00:36:59,492
I'm gonna have uniformed officers
814
00:36:59,510 --> 00:37:00,993
posted outside 24/7.
815
00:37:01,011 --> 00:37:03,463
That is fantastic news.
816
00:37:03,497 --> 00:37:05,098
What's fantastic?
817
00:37:05,132 --> 00:37:06,833
Come on.
818
00:37:06,851 --> 00:37:10,002
You and I both know that that
lesbian was cannon fodder.
819
00:37:10,020 --> 00:37:11,170
And think about it.
820
00:37:11,188 --> 00:37:12,972
What kind of life was that guy gonna live
821
00:37:13,006 --> 00:37:15,108
with no arms, really?
822
00:37:15,142 --> 00:37:17,277
They were but a small price to pay
823
00:37:17,311 --> 00:37:20,063
for the knowledge that I
can now place a robocall
824
00:37:20,114 --> 00:37:23,650
to every parent and student
at this university saying
825
00:37:23,684 --> 00:37:27,687
that as long as they are not a
sister of, pledging, or sleeping
826
00:37:27,705 --> 00:37:31,190
with someone from Kappa
House, they are safe
827
00:37:31,208 --> 00:37:33,409
to resume normal school activities.
828
00:37:33,460 --> 00:37:34,527
Grace.
829
00:37:34,545 --> 00:37:37,463
Dad, hi.
830
00:37:37,498 --> 00:37:39,465
Oh, thank God. Hi.
831
00:37:39,500 --> 00:37:42,335
What's wrong? Grace. Come on.
832
00:37:42,369 --> 00:37:43,803
Wait, where are we going?
833
00:37:43,838 --> 00:37:45,204
Out of here.
834
00:37:45,222 --> 00:37:48,091
No, Dad, I'm not leaving.
835
00:37:48,142 --> 00:37:50,643
Not now. Not when my
sisters need me the most.
836
00:37:50,678 --> 00:37:53,045
Your sisters are getting
picked off like ducks on a pond!
837
00:37:53,063 --> 00:37:54,347
I won't go!
838
00:37:54,381 --> 00:37:55,932
And you can't make me.
839
00:37:55,983 --> 00:37:58,101
In three seconds,
840
00:37:58,152 --> 00:38:00,720
I'm gonna pick you up
and carry you out of here.
841
00:38:00,738 --> 00:38:01,821
Do you understand me?
842
00:38:01,856 --> 00:38:02,822
I don't think so,
843
00:38:02,857 --> 00:38:05,158
Dad. You're a good man,
844
00:38:05,192 --> 00:38:07,110
and I love the way you love her.
845
00:38:07,161 --> 00:38:09,061
But if sister wants to stay,
846
00:38:09,079 --> 00:38:10,196
she's staying.
847
00:38:14,201 --> 00:38:16,953
Oh. Um, I-I just kind of came over here
848
00:38:17,004 --> 00:38:19,071
because I farted over
there and it smelled bad.
849
00:38:23,878 --> 00:38:25,628
Okay.
850
00:38:25,679 --> 00:38:28,131
Dad.
851
00:38:28,182 --> 00:38:30,133
Dad, can...
852
00:38:34,588 --> 00:38:37,557
I'm sorry about Roger. Or Dodger.
853
00:38:37,591 --> 00:38:39,392
Well, both.
854
00:38:39,426 --> 00:38:40,927
Thanks.
855
00:38:40,945 --> 00:38:42,695
I'm sorry about Sam.
856
00:38:42,730 --> 00:38:44,364
Thanks.
857
00:38:44,398 --> 00:38:46,199
I miss her.
858
00:38:46,233 --> 00:38:47,317
I loved her.
859
00:38:47,368 --> 00:38:49,869
Her tattoos and the way she wore
860
00:38:49,904 --> 00:38:52,989
that hat without any irony at all.
861
00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:55,325
She awakened a deep sexual honesty in me
862
00:38:55,376 --> 00:38:57,660
that, up until now, I was afraid to admit.
863
00:38:57,711 --> 00:38:59,212
Wait, you're a lesbian?
864
00:38:59,246 --> 00:39:01,113
No. At first, my feelings
865
00:39:01,131 --> 00:39:02,749
for Sam made me think I was.
866
00:39:02,783 --> 00:39:05,752
But then, in that
moment, when I kissed her,
867
00:39:05,786 --> 00:39:08,421
I realized I didn't care
if she was a girl or a guy.
868
00:39:08,455 --> 00:39:11,424
Basically, I'm in love with love.
869
00:39:11,458 --> 00:39:13,426
And Sam dying taught me that...
870
00:39:13,460 --> 00:39:16,763
the next time I feel love for
someone, I'm going to tell them.
871
00:39:16,797 --> 00:39:18,765
Right away.
872
00:39:18,799 --> 00:39:20,600
Just in case they're murdered before I can.
873
00:39:20,634 --> 00:39:23,302
It was like her final gift to you.
874
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:25,304
That's a nice way of thinking about it.
875
00:39:25,322 --> 00:39:27,440
Makes me feel a little less
guilty about condemning her
876
00:39:27,474 --> 00:39:29,692
to die by daring her to go
down to the basement alone.
877
00:39:29,743 --> 00:39:33,579
I'd always felt like I'd won the
lottery with Roger and Dodger.
878
00:39:33,614 --> 00:39:34,747
I mean, I never thought
879
00:39:34,782 --> 00:39:36,366
they'd both get killed.
880
00:39:36,417 --> 00:39:38,618
What are the chances,
right? I just feel like
881
00:39:38,652 --> 00:39:40,036
I'm never gonna find a guy who likes me.
882
00:39:40,087 --> 00:39:42,822
Let alone two who look exactly alike.
883
00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:44,040
I'm a freak.
884
00:39:44,091 --> 00:39:46,259
I mean, the only reason I'm in this house
885
00:39:46,293 --> 00:39:48,594
is 'cause I'm a legacy.
886
00:39:48,629 --> 00:39:50,713
Nobody actually likes me.
887
00:39:50,764 --> 00:39:52,498
Chanel has the whole campus convinced
888
00:39:52,516 --> 00:39:55,134
that my vagina has teeth.
889
00:39:55,168 --> 00:39:58,805
You are totally gonna find another guy.
890
00:39:58,839 --> 00:40:01,007
You're super cute, and you're a Kappa.
891
00:40:01,025 --> 00:40:03,776
And I'm sure there's some
awesome dude out there
892
00:40:03,811 --> 00:40:05,678
who will accept you for who
you are, vaginal teeth and all.
893
00:40:05,696 --> 00:40:07,780
Thanks.
894
00:40:07,815 --> 00:40:09,782
And let's make a pact.
895
00:40:09,817 --> 00:40:11,451
No matter what happens,
896
00:40:11,485 --> 00:40:13,319
no matter what dignity
we have to sacrifice,
897
00:40:13,353 --> 00:40:14,988
what laws we have to break,
898
00:40:15,022 --> 00:40:17,240
what bodies we have to step over,
899
00:40:17,291 --> 00:40:20,526
you and I are going to outlive Chanel.
900
00:40:20,544 --> 00:40:21,544
Deal?
901
00:40:22,546 --> 00:40:24,163
Deal.
902
00:40:24,197 --> 00:40:26,833
Pledges and sisters
903
00:40:26,867 --> 00:40:29,302
of Kappa House, thanks to me,
904
00:40:29,336 --> 00:40:31,004
you've all survived yet another attack
905
00:40:31,038 --> 00:40:32,755
from the Red Devil killer.
906
00:40:32,806 --> 00:40:35,508
Once again, death came to Kappa House,
907
00:40:35,542 --> 00:40:37,710
and once again that death, while tragic,
908
00:40:37,728 --> 00:40:39,545
has brought us all closer together.
909
00:40:39,563 --> 00:40:41,347
I even kind of like Zayday now.
910
00:40:42,316 --> 00:40:43,382
And I got gifts.
911
00:40:46,236 --> 00:40:48,271
Giant, pink
912
00:40:48,322 --> 00:40:49,555
chopsticks.
913
00:40:49,573 --> 00:40:52,224
No. They're custom-made pink nunchaku.
914
00:40:52,242 --> 00:40:54,226
Oh. If I can impart anything
915
00:40:54,244 --> 00:40:56,362
on you slits over the course of this year,
916
00:40:56,396 --> 00:40:59,332
it's that Kappas don't
take any crap from anyone.
917
00:40:59,366 --> 00:41:01,667
Guys, I joined this sorority
to feel close to my mom,
918
00:41:01,702 --> 00:41:04,337
to get a taste of the sisterhood
that she was so inspired by.
919
00:41:04,371 --> 00:41:06,572
And after last night, I really feel it.
920
00:41:06,590 --> 00:41:09,008
I'm with you guys, no
matter what.
921
00:41:09,043 --> 00:41:10,209
Thank you for making that announcement
922
00:41:10,243 --> 00:41:11,344
that no one cared about.
923
00:41:11,378 --> 00:41:14,213
Now, I pledge that from this night on,
924
00:41:14,247 --> 00:41:15,681
we will not lose any more of our sisters.
925
00:41:15,716 --> 00:41:16,966
How are you gonna do that?
926
00:41:17,017 --> 00:41:18,851
We are gonna take the fight to him.
927
00:41:18,886 --> 00:41:21,304
I will not rest until we have the Red Devil
928
00:41:21,355 --> 00:41:24,390
or Red Devils' heads on spikes
on the front lawn of this house.
929
00:41:24,424 --> 00:41:26,893
Well, that's all well and good,
930
00:41:26,927 --> 00:41:28,978
but we all know that it was
931
00:41:29,029 --> 00:41:30,730
my slumber party idea that made this whole.
932
00:41:30,764 --> 00:41:33,066
"'We Are the World' Hands
Across America" stuff happen.
933
00:41:33,100 --> 00:41:36,069
And we never got to
appropriately finish said party.
934
00:41:36,103 --> 00:41:37,904
Now, I don't know about you guys,
935
00:41:37,938 --> 00:41:39,872
but in O-Town,
936
00:41:39,907 --> 00:41:41,657
no slumber party is finished
937
00:41:41,708 --> 00:41:43,659
without a kickass dance party.
938
00:41:43,710 --> 00:41:45,444
What, what?!
939
00:41:51,418 --> 00:41:53,920
This is so wonderfully random.
940
00:41:53,954 --> 00:41:55,621
I know. What a great way to pretend
941
00:41:55,639 --> 00:41:57,790
all these people we know
weren't brutally murdered.
942
00:42:01,644 --> 00:42:02,726
Stop.
943
00:42:02,922 --> 00:42:05,865
Kappa...!
944
00:42:06,822 --> 00:42:11,822
Sync & corrections by wilson0804
WEB-DL resync by kinglouisxx