1 00:00:06,384 --> 00:00:08,952 You know, a new widower moved in tonight. 2 00:00:08,987 --> 00:00:10,421 That's right. 3 00:00:10,455 --> 00:00:13,290 He lives in building D, apartment 3-B. 4 00:00:13,324 --> 00:00:16,460 His name is Melvin Shlanga. 5 00:00:16,494 --> 00:00:18,128 He speaks fluent Puerto Rican. 6 00:00:18,163 --> 00:00:19,296 That's Spanish. 7 00:00:19,330 --> 00:00:21,665 He's missing the last seven inches of his colon, 8 00:00:21,700 --> 00:00:25,002 and he always keeps grapes in his pocket. 9 00:00:25,036 --> 00:00:27,705 So, he's a real catch, and he's back on the market. 10 00:00:27,739 --> 00:00:29,373 Oh, you're on the market. 11 00:00:29,407 --> 00:00:30,441 But, let me tell ya-- 12 00:00:30,475 --> 00:00:32,476 I've got some pretty stiff competition for him-- 13 00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:34,244 three women in particular. 14 00:00:34,279 --> 00:00:36,980 Rosemary Guerrero-- she's a Cuban Jew hunter 15 00:00:37,015 --> 00:00:38,449 with fake breasts. 16 00:00:38,483 --> 00:00:39,917 Her husband is still alive. 17 00:00:39,951 --> 00:00:42,386 She's still married, but he's deep in a coma. 18 00:00:42,420 --> 00:00:44,455 Then, of course, my friend Mitzy. 19 00:00:44,489 --> 00:00:45,656 You know Mitzy. 20 00:00:45,690 --> 00:00:47,357 She smokes pot, wears a wig, 21 00:00:47,392 --> 00:00:49,560 and she's about 4'6" tall. 22 00:00:49,594 --> 00:00:52,296 If he likes petite women, I'm screwed. 23 00:00:52,330 --> 00:00:54,298 Then, there's Debbie Maizar. 24 00:00:54,332 --> 00:00:55,999 Oh, the character actress? 25 00:00:56,034 --> 00:00:58,669 No, this is a totally different Debbie Maizar. 26 00:00:58,703 --> 00:01:00,771 And she's a Democrat with an iPhone. 27 00:01:00,805 --> 00:01:02,272 - Oh. - She's always on it. 28 00:01:02,507 --> 00:01:04,041 I never know if she's spying on me 29 00:01:04,075 --> 00:01:06,476 or telling the NSA what I'm up to. 30 00:01:06,511 --> 00:01:08,045 So, I have my work cut out for me, 31 00:01:08,079 --> 00:01:10,480 but I think I have a leg up on the competition. 32 00:01:10,515 --> 00:01:12,115 And it's quite the leg. 33 00:01:12,150 --> 00:01:13,917 It's a fine leg, isn't it? 34 00:01:13,952 --> 00:01:16,620 You're like a hobbit in her golden years. 35 00:01:16,654 --> 00:01:19,656 What's the quickest way to a man's heart? 36 00:01:19,691 --> 00:01:21,091 Through his... 37 00:01:21,125 --> 00:01:22,592 - brain. - Stomach. 38 00:01:22,627 --> 00:01:23,794 What are you talking brain? 39 00:01:23,828 --> 00:01:24,861 You don't know the saying. 40 00:01:24,896 --> 00:01:26,630 Huh. Yeah, that makes sense. 41 00:01:26,664 --> 00:01:28,031 Now, I'm no cook. 42 00:01:28,066 --> 00:01:29,666 You and I both know that. 43 00:01:29,701 --> 00:01:31,234 I don't know what I'm doing in the kitchen. 44 00:01:31,269 --> 00:01:32,803 Tretchie Feinberg's ex-husband, 45 00:01:32,837 --> 00:01:34,338 he used to say that my brisket 46 00:01:34,372 --> 00:01:36,540 tasted like it came from a bris, 47 00:01:36,574 --> 00:01:37,708 which, you know, wasn't funny 48 00:01:37,742 --> 00:01:39,543 'cause he was an actual mohel. 49 00:01:39,577 --> 00:01:40,777 What's a mohel? 50 00:01:40,812 --> 00:01:43,013 That's a Jew doctor who cuts your dick. 51 00:01:43,047 --> 00:01:43,914 Oh, right. 52 00:01:43,948 --> 00:01:45,716 - Yeah. - Yeah. 53 00:01:45,750 --> 00:01:47,184 So, guess what I'm gonna do. 54 00:01:47,218 --> 00:01:49,653 I'm gonna hire a private chef 55 00:01:49,687 --> 00:01:53,504 to cook for me for him. Melvin will never know the difference. 56 00:01:53,538 --> 00:01:54,672 Yeah, but that's cheating. 57 00:01:54,706 --> 00:01:56,373 You don't want your first interaction with somebody 58 00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:57,942 to be based on a lie. 59 00:01:57,976 --> 00:01:59,310 You're right. That is lying, 60 00:01:59,344 --> 00:02:01,845 and you're not gonna tell a soul, are you? 61 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:03,614 - Are you, Ricky? - No, I won't. I-I won't. 62 00:02:03,648 --> 00:02:06,335 - You're not gonna tell a living soul, are you? - I won't say a word. 63 00:02:06,985 --> 00:02:10,187 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 64 00:02:10,222 --> 00:02:11,522 ♪ la la la la la ♪ 65 00:02:11,556 --> 00:02:13,524 ♪ la la ♪ 66 00:02:13,558 --> 00:02:15,259 ♪ la la la la la ♪ 67 00:02:15,293 --> 00:02:17,061 ♪ la la la la la ♪ 68 00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:18,362 ♪ la la la la la ♪ 69 00:02:18,396 --> 00:02:20,364 ♪ la la ♪ 70 00:02:27,305 --> 00:02:28,973 ♪ la la la la la ♪ 71 00:02:29,007 --> 00:02:30,708 ♪ la la la la la ♪ 72 00:02:30,742 --> 00:02:32,042 ♪ la la la la la ♪ 73 00:02:32,077 --> 00:02:34,078 ♪ la la ♪ 74 00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:37,681 All right, even though 75 00:02:37,716 --> 00:02:38,949 I still think this is cheating-- 76 00:02:38,984 --> 00:02:41,252 I have prepared three chefs to meet with you. 77 00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:42,853 Each with a different background, 78 00:02:42,887 --> 00:02:44,788 so they'll prepare three different dishes. 79 00:02:44,823 --> 00:02:46,724 - Okay. That's perfect. - Okay, now, you have to-- 80 00:02:46,758 --> 00:02:50,661 - Yeah, and we'll see which one you think Melvin likes best. - Yeah. 81 00:02:50,695 --> 00:02:52,763 Just be very complimentary and nice 82 00:02:52,797 --> 00:02:54,198 about what they prepare you, okay? 83 00:02:54,232 --> 00:02:56,500 And it's not cheating if you win. 84 00:02:56,534 --> 00:02:58,636 You know, a lotta winners cheat. 85 00:02:58,670 --> 00:03:00,371 In fact, only winners cheat. 86 00:03:00,405 --> 00:03:02,706 Losers play by the rules like you. 87 00:03:02,741 --> 00:03:05,109 You play by the rules too much. 88 00:03:08,113 --> 00:03:09,880 - Hello, everyone. - Hello. 89 00:03:09,914 --> 00:03:11,649 - Hi. - Oh, my chefs! 90 00:03:11,683 --> 00:03:14,385 What I'm trying to do, is win the affections 91 00:03:14,419 --> 00:03:16,787 of a new man. His name is Melvin, 92 00:03:16,821 --> 00:03:20,858 and the way to his heart is through his? 93 00:03:20,892 --> 00:03:22,126 - Stomach. - Stomach. 94 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,662 And that's also the way to his penis, 95 00:03:24,696 --> 00:03:26,397 which is very important. 96 00:03:26,431 --> 00:03:29,300 So, I want you three to cook a dish 97 00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:32,202 that's gonna knock his socks off. 98 00:03:32,237 --> 00:03:34,705 And then, I'm gonna say that I made it. 99 00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:37,141 Do you guys mind if we come over 100 00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:38,475 and just start lookin' at some of your dishes? 101 00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:39,343 - Sure. - Yeah, sure, come on down. 102 00:03:39,377 --> 00:03:40,544 Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, I can come close. 103 00:03:40,578 --> 00:03:41,512 - Thank you. - What are you making for us today, darling? 104 00:03:41,546 --> 00:03:43,113 So, what we have over here is a skirt steak. 105 00:03:43,148 --> 00:03:44,315 Okay. 106 00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:45,416 And I'm making it Brazilian style. 107 00:03:45,450 --> 00:03:47,017 I'm gonna give you a little international flare. 108 00:03:47,052 --> 00:03:48,752 Something that's easy-- something that's delicious. 109 00:03:48,787 --> 00:03:50,621 Something that's gonna-- 110 00:03:50,655 --> 00:03:52,156 - Spice it up a bit. - Oh, yeah. 111 00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:53,457 I know what you're making. 112 00:03:53,491 --> 00:03:55,459 - What am I making? - A better hat. 113 00:03:57,062 --> 00:03:58,495 I got some, uh, organic tomatoes, 114 00:03:58,530 --> 00:03:59,897 chili tomatoes here for you. 115 00:03:59,931 --> 00:04:01,065 Oh, perfect. 116 00:04:01,099 --> 00:04:02,199 To toss with the fresh homemade pasta 117 00:04:02,233 --> 00:04:04,201 that I made this morning, very early. 118 00:04:04,235 --> 00:04:05,336 Beautiful. 119 00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:06,804 You look like you're ready to knock me out. 120 00:04:06,838 --> 00:04:10,541 Some men are very sensitive about going bald. 121 00:04:10,575 --> 00:04:11,842 - With a lemon zest. - Mmm. 122 00:04:11,876 --> 00:04:13,177 A true Sicilian dish. 123 00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:16,246 - Boom! - And I'm gonna toss some fresh, wild arugula in there. 124 00:04:16,281 --> 00:04:18,015 What'd you say? Wala-rula? 125 00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:19,283 Fresh wild arugula-- wild. 126 00:04:19,317 --> 00:04:20,451 - Arugula, ooh. - ...in his pants. 127 00:04:20,485 --> 00:04:22,386 But, I don't want anything that's gonna bloat him. 128 00:04:22,420 --> 00:04:23,520 Oh, no, no, not at all. 129 00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:25,122 When I get bloated, I get wet. 130 00:04:25,156 --> 00:04:26,957 But, when men get bloated, they get soft. 131 00:04:26,991 --> 00:04:29,026 - You know what I mean? - You still get wet? 132 00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:30,394 I still get wet. 133 00:04:30,428 --> 00:04:32,429 My Harold went bald when he was 21. 134 00:04:32,464 --> 00:04:33,464 I'm not really going bald. 135 00:04:33,498 --> 00:04:35,232 - Oh, okay. - Yeah. 136 00:04:35,266 --> 00:04:37,701 - I'm making a cajun fried chicken. - Well, this is awk-- That's very exciting. 137 00:04:37,736 --> 00:04:39,303 - Yeah. - Oh, I love fried chicken. 138 00:04:39,337 --> 00:04:41,338 If you spit in my food, 139 00:04:41,373 --> 00:04:43,173 - I'm gonna report you. - No, I will not spit in it. 140 00:04:43,208 --> 00:04:44,208 Wild arugula. 141 00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:45,843 Do you know what arugula is good for? 142 00:04:45,877 --> 00:04:47,044 Parkinson's disease. 143 00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:49,613 - Parkinson's. - Which I don't have, yet. 144 00:04:49,647 --> 00:04:50,647 Great. 145 00:04:50,682 --> 00:04:52,282 But, I'm liable to get Parkinson's disease. 146 00:04:52,317 --> 00:04:53,584 Oh, you're in good shape. You-- 147 00:04:53,618 --> 00:04:55,185 No, I have a feeling it's coming. 148 00:04:55,220 --> 00:04:57,654 - Well, you know what they say about cajun food. - What's that? 149 00:04:57,689 --> 00:04:59,156 It gives you better-- you know. 150 00:04:59,190 --> 00:05:00,424 - Oh, my goodness. - Yes. 151 00:05:00,458 --> 00:05:03,627 Listen, whatever you cook, it should be with love. 152 00:05:03,661 --> 00:05:04,895 Oh. 153 00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:06,630 And a little bit of lust. 154 00:05:06,664 --> 00:05:07,798 Extra love. 155 00:05:07,832 --> 00:05:09,666 D-don't come in the food, whatever you do. 156 00:05:09,701 --> 00:05:11,101 Oh, no, no. 157 00:05:11,136 --> 00:05:12,236 Thank you, Roberto. 158 00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:13,237 It's, uh-- You're welcome. 159 00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:14,171 - Thank you so much. - All right. Thank you. 160 00:05:14,205 --> 00:05:15,873 From a culinary standpoint, 161 00:05:15,907 --> 00:05:17,574 this is gonna be a tough choice. 162 00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:20,511 But, from a libido standpoint, 163 00:05:20,545 --> 00:05:24,014 the Italian has my vagina's best interests at heart. 164 00:05:24,048 --> 00:05:27,484 You know, I think vagina is an Italian word. 165 00:05:27,519 --> 00:05:31,221 It sounds Italian-- a vagina. 166 00:05:31,256 --> 00:05:32,756 All right, I'm starving. 167 00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:34,258 Where's my food? 168 00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,260 And I'm low blood sugar, so get it over here. 169 00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:37,761 Chop-chop. 170 00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:39,296 Oh, my goodness, look at this. 171 00:05:39,330 --> 00:05:40,464 It's important what a dish looks like. 172 00:05:40,498 --> 00:05:41,698 Bon appetit. 173 00:05:41,733 --> 00:05:42,866 Bon appetit. 174 00:05:42,901 --> 00:05:44,701 Okay, a little sea bass on my fork. 175 00:05:50,675 --> 00:05:51,542 - Very nice. - Very nice. 176 00:05:51,576 --> 00:05:52,476 Very nice. 177 00:05:52,510 --> 00:05:54,678 Molto bene. 178 00:05:54,712 --> 00:05:56,513 Molto bene. You did great. 179 00:05:56,548 --> 00:05:58,916 Okay, let's try this one, now. 180 00:05:58,950 --> 00:05:59,817 There it is. 181 00:05:59,851 --> 00:06:01,852 Mmm. Look at this. 182 00:06:04,556 --> 00:06:06,924 - Very, very great. - Thank you. 183 00:06:06,958 --> 00:06:08,659 I love it. 184 00:06:08,693 --> 00:06:09,927 Let's try the third one. 185 00:06:09,961 --> 00:06:11,428 Mm-hmm. 186 00:06:11,463 --> 00:06:14,131 What is this? 187 00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:15,799 It smells like marijuana. 188 00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:16,967 You tryin' to get me stoned? 189 00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:18,936 - Maybe. - Yeah, I know. 190 00:06:22,941 --> 00:06:24,641 Mmm. 191 00:06:26,377 --> 00:06:28,378 Give us a second. 192 00:06:29,948 --> 00:06:32,082 Okay, come on. 193 00:06:32,116 --> 00:06:33,450 Let's talk. 194 00:06:33,485 --> 00:06:34,985 So, which one's your favorite? 195 00:06:35,019 --> 00:06:36,420 I don't know how to break it to them, 196 00:06:36,454 --> 00:06:38,021 - but they all suck. - You think? 197 00:06:38,056 --> 00:06:40,357 They all tasted like cat meat. 198 00:06:40,391 --> 00:06:42,659 All three of those are gourmet meals, okay? 199 00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:44,695 Which one of these do you like the best? 200 00:06:44,729 --> 00:06:46,129 First, you have Roberto. 201 00:06:46,164 --> 00:06:47,331 The fish. 202 00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:49,766 He's Italian, and I love that about him. 203 00:06:49,801 --> 00:06:50,901 Although, he's Sicilian, 204 00:06:50,935 --> 00:06:52,970 so he's liable to put a hit out on me. 205 00:06:53,004 --> 00:06:55,439 So, I'm a little worried about that. 206 00:06:55,473 --> 00:06:58,976 Then, you have, you know, the-the-- 207 00:06:59,010 --> 00:07:04,281 - The what? - The b-- the b-- the bla-bla-- 208 00:07:04,315 --> 00:07:06,216 the-the bla-bla. 209 00:07:06,251 --> 00:07:07,784 - The black woman? - Yeah, the black. 210 00:07:07,819 --> 00:07:09,686 She spit in that food. 211 00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:12,155 - She did not spit in that dish. - She phlegmed in it. 212 00:07:12,190 --> 00:07:13,056 - She didn't. - She phlegmed in it. 213 00:07:13,091 --> 00:07:14,258 I know phlegm when I taste it 214 00:07:14,292 --> 00:07:17,261 'cause I'm constantly swallowing my own phlegm all day. 215 00:07:17,295 --> 00:07:18,629 All right, what about the last dish? 216 00:07:18,663 --> 00:07:20,230 It was the fried chicken on the-- 217 00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:22,366 on the-the cajun rice. 218 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:23,734 There was another dish? 219 00:07:23,768 --> 00:07:25,602 The fried chicken with the cajun rice? 220 00:07:25,637 --> 00:07:27,437 I don't know what you're talking about. 221 00:07:27,472 --> 00:07:28,238 - I think-- - There were two dishes. 222 00:07:28,273 --> 00:07:30,140 No, there was a third one by Wes. 223 00:07:30,174 --> 00:07:31,408 Who's Wes? 224 00:07:31,442 --> 00:07:33,143 The last chef with the hat on. 225 00:07:33,177 --> 00:07:35,579 Oh, that dumb hat, and he claims not to be bald. 226 00:07:35,613 --> 00:07:36,914 That's bullshit. 227 00:07:36,948 --> 00:07:37,981 You don't wear a hat like that 228 00:07:38,016 --> 00:07:40,050 unless you're goin' bald. 229 00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:41,885 So, do you know which one you wanna pick? 230 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,655 - Do I have to pick one? - Yeah. 231 00:07:44,689 --> 00:07:49,693 Oh, this was absolutely astonishing-- astounding. 232 00:07:49,727 --> 00:07:51,828 You've done a great job... 233 00:07:51,863 --> 00:07:53,964 at wasting my time. 234 00:07:53,998 --> 00:07:55,933 I asked you to cook it with love, 235 00:07:55,967 --> 00:07:59,536 and all I taste is spit and spice. 236 00:07:59,571 --> 00:08:00,938 And I know you spit in the dish. 237 00:08:00,972 --> 00:08:03,707 I told ya not to. So, get out. 238 00:08:03,741 --> 00:08:05,943 - ♪ la la la la la ♪ - Just leave. 239 00:08:05,977 --> 00:08:07,744 - ♪ la la la la la ♪ - Bring me a garbage pail. 240 00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:09,980 - ♪ La la la la la la la ♪ - I can't en stand to smell it. 241 00:08:12,149 --> 00:08:13,349 It's ready! 242 00:08:13,384 --> 00:08:14,851 Oh, it is? It smells wonderful. 243 00:08:14,885 --> 00:08:16,853 I can't wait to eat it and chew it. 244 00:08:16,887 --> 00:08:18,454 You are in for such a treat. 245 00:08:18,489 --> 00:08:20,023 This is the Canadian national dish. 246 00:08:20,057 --> 00:08:21,557 Oh, look at this, what you made me! 247 00:08:21,592 --> 00:08:22,592 It's poutine. 248 00:08:22,626 --> 00:08:23,660 Poo-- you made me poo. 249 00:08:23,694 --> 00:08:24,527 Now, get-- 250 00:08:24,561 --> 00:08:25,261 No, it's-- 251 00:08:25,295 --> 00:08:26,429 Okay, let me try it. 252 00:08:26,463 --> 00:08:27,864 - It's a-- so, it's potato. - This looks amazing. 253 00:08:27,898 --> 00:08:30,433 Yeah, it's potato, gravy, and curd cheese. 254 00:08:30,467 --> 00:08:32,201 Yeah. Okay. Mm-hmm. 255 00:08:32,236 --> 00:08:33,603 You said curd cheese? 256 00:08:33,637 --> 00:08:35,238 - Curd cheese, yeah. Yeah. - Mmm. Mmm. 257 00:08:35,272 --> 00:08:36,506 Yeah. 258 00:08:36,540 --> 00:08:38,074 Sometimes, you can use, like, um, 259 00:08:38,108 --> 00:08:39,942 they use goat cheese or-- 260 00:08:41,178 --> 00:08:43,246 - Just some, you know, regular cheese. - Yeah, it's good. 261 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:44,313 - It's pretty great. - Oh, it's unbelievable. 262 00:08:44,348 --> 00:08:45,915 - It's-- Some people say it's heavy. - I love it. 263 00:08:45,949 --> 00:08:47,350 But, it-it pairs well with, like, hot dogs, 264 00:08:47,384 --> 00:08:48,551 - or hamburgers, or-- - I love it. 265 00:08:48,585 --> 00:08:50,553 Let me, um, just-- I'll be right back. 266 00:08:50,587 --> 00:08:51,988 Yeah. No, of course. 267 00:08:52,022 --> 00:08:53,389 - Yeah, it's wonderful, though. - I'm so happy you like it. Yeah. 268 00:08:53,424 --> 00:08:54,891 - I love it. Yeah, it's really good. - You really, really like it. 269 00:08:56,994 --> 00:09:01,030 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 270 00:09:01,065 --> 00:09:02,498 I'm sorry. 271 00:09:02,533 --> 00:09:03,733 You don't like my poutine? 272 00:09:03,767 --> 00:09:07,403 I do-- well-- reee! 273 00:09:07,438 --> 00:09:10,440 ♪ la la la la la la la ♪ 274 00:09:12,266 --> 00:09:15,335 I've decided to cook for Melvin myself. 275 00:09:15,369 --> 00:09:17,837 But, you know, I'm not some sort of, uh, uh, uh, 276 00:09:17,871 --> 00:09:21,040 three-star Michelin rated cook. 277 00:09:21,075 --> 00:09:25,178 So, I've had Ricky hire me Boca's top cooking instructor, 278 00:09:25,212 --> 00:09:28,314 the very best money can buy. 279 00:09:28,349 --> 00:09:32,385 You know, I hear Melvin's penis looks exactly like 280 00:09:32,419 --> 00:09:36,189 the Michelin man, ribbed for my pleasure. 281 00:09:39,126 --> 00:09:40,259 Hello. 282 00:09:40,294 --> 00:09:41,728 Oh, arigato gojaimasu. 283 00:09:41,762 --> 00:09:43,062 What the hell is that? 284 00:09:43,097 --> 00:09:45,231 He's already speak-- you speak English or no? 285 00:09:45,265 --> 00:09:46,766 Uh, a little. 286 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:48,001 What? Did ya give me a non-speak-- 287 00:09:48,035 --> 00:09:49,736 - You speak a little bit? - I'm from Cali, so yeah. 288 00:09:49,770 --> 00:09:51,304 Oh, okay, very good. 289 00:09:51,338 --> 00:09:52,905 - Hi-- Ricky. - You scared me. - Chris-- pleasure. 290 00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:54,107 - Nice to meet you. - You scared me. Do me a favor. 291 00:09:54,141 --> 00:09:55,208 Only speak English. 292 00:09:55,242 --> 00:09:56,275 Si, senorita. 293 00:09:56,310 --> 00:09:57,844 No, no, come on. Come on. 294 00:09:57,878 --> 00:09:59,312 - You got it. - Because the sound of other languages 295 00:09:59,346 --> 00:10:00,647 makes me wanna puke. 296 00:10:00,681 --> 00:10:04,283 - Okay. - Okay, now, you're here to teach me? 297 00:10:04,318 --> 00:10:05,618 - I'm here to teach you. - Okay, good. 298 00:10:05,653 --> 00:10:07,887 I need a good lesson because I'm horny, 299 00:10:07,921 --> 00:10:10,356 and I'm tryin' to catch a man. 300 00:10:10,391 --> 00:10:13,359 I'm talking specifically about a man named Melvin. 301 00:10:13,394 --> 00:10:14,427 Melvin. 302 00:10:14,461 --> 00:10:17,130 - Get me inside his pants. - Okay. 303 00:10:17,164 --> 00:10:19,699 I'd like to go inside there with my whole head 304 00:10:19,733 --> 00:10:21,467 and take a peek. 305 00:10:21,502 --> 00:10:23,803 Look around inside his pants. 306 00:10:23,837 --> 00:10:25,438 Oh, there you are, Mr. sir. 307 00:10:25,472 --> 00:10:27,140 Kiss ya. 308 00:10:27,174 --> 00:10:28,207 You know what I mean? 309 00:10:28,242 --> 00:10:30,076 I'd like to kiss him on the schmekie. 310 00:10:30,110 --> 00:10:30,910 Okay. 311 00:10:30,944 --> 00:10:32,245 I'm sure you've had a few ladies 312 00:10:32,279 --> 00:10:33,513 who kissed your schmekie. 313 00:10:33,547 --> 00:10:35,515 Uh, I'd rather not say. 314 00:10:35,549 --> 00:10:36,949 - Yeah, you don't. - He's never-- 315 00:10:36,984 --> 00:10:38,785 he's never had a lady kiss his schmekie. 316 00:10:38,819 --> 00:10:39,652 It's neither here nor there. 317 00:10:39,687 --> 00:10:41,220 Never had a lady kiss his schmekie. 318 00:10:41,255 --> 00:10:42,522 I've had many things touch and kiss things. 319 00:10:42,556 --> 00:10:43,823 Your schmekie they haven't kissed. 320 00:10:43,857 --> 00:10:45,024 So, I noticed what you have set up. 321 00:10:45,059 --> 00:10:47,260 This looks like it-it'll be Sushi. 322 00:10:47,294 --> 00:10:49,796 - Uh, yeah, I, uh-- - Sushi is raw. 323 00:10:49,830 --> 00:10:51,264 - It's raw. Yep. - Okay. 324 00:10:51,298 --> 00:10:52,965 - Yep. - I like it raw. 325 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,134 All right. Well, let's get started. 326 00:10:55,169 --> 00:10:57,203 Let's grab some, uh, nori, right here, 327 00:10:57,237 --> 00:10:58,104 which is dry seaweed. 328 00:10:58,138 --> 00:11:00,073 Nori-- this has seaweed in it? 329 00:11:00,107 --> 00:11:01,374 This is seaweed. 330 00:11:01,408 --> 00:11:02,608 This is seaweed? 331 00:11:02,643 --> 00:11:03,976 Yes, it's edible. 332 00:11:04,011 --> 00:11:05,311 This smells like a multivitamin. 333 00:11:05,345 --> 00:11:06,412 If you put it on your face, 334 00:11:06,447 --> 00:11:08,247 it actually makes you look younger, as well. 335 00:11:08,282 --> 00:11:09,615 Take a couple of extra pieces. 336 00:11:09,650 --> 00:11:10,717 Yes, please do. 337 00:11:10,751 --> 00:11:12,385 I'll put it on my face and on my punda. 338 00:11:12,419 --> 00:11:13,686 Rejuvenate the punda. 339 00:11:13,721 --> 00:11:16,222 Uh, all right. So, the next step-- 340 00:11:16,256 --> 00:11:17,857 - grab some rice. - Okay. 341 00:11:17,891 --> 00:11:20,460 Just spread it out on the seaweed, 342 00:11:20,494 --> 00:11:23,896 and then just kinda just smear all across the nori. 343 00:11:23,931 --> 00:11:25,198 You guys are looking great. 344 00:11:25,232 --> 00:11:26,499 - That's perfect. - Yes. 345 00:11:26,533 --> 00:11:27,333 Flatten it out a little. 346 00:11:27,367 --> 00:11:28,568 Okay, flatten it out. 347 00:11:28,602 --> 00:11:30,303 Uh-huh. Gentle. 348 00:11:30,337 --> 00:11:31,738 Yeah. Oh, it came apart. 349 00:11:31,772 --> 00:11:33,406 - Uh, no, it's o-- - This is a mess already. 350 00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:34,941 No, no, we're-- you're doing just fine. 351 00:11:34,975 --> 00:11:36,209 - You're doing just fine. - This is too much work for me. 352 00:11:36,243 --> 00:11:38,010 My fingers are very arthritic. 353 00:11:38,045 --> 00:11:39,078 All right. 354 00:11:39,113 --> 00:11:40,613 So, now take your bamboo roller. 355 00:11:40,647 --> 00:11:41,981 Let's flip this over. 356 00:11:42,015 --> 00:11:43,282 Rice side down. 357 00:11:43,317 --> 00:11:45,318 Rice side down and a-boom. 358 00:11:45,352 --> 00:11:46,419 Oh, there ya go, perfect. 359 00:11:46,453 --> 00:11:47,086 - All right. - All right. 360 00:11:47,121 --> 00:11:48,287 So, what we're gonna do is, 361 00:11:48,322 --> 00:11:50,656 we're gonna take a little bit of imitation crab meat. 362 00:11:50,691 --> 00:11:52,091 Okay. 363 00:11:52,126 --> 00:11:53,159 Okay, great. 364 00:11:53,193 --> 00:11:55,895 - Take that. - Terrific. 365 00:11:55,929 --> 00:11:57,630 - Perfect. Excellent. - Next. 366 00:11:57,664 --> 00:11:59,565 Take a couple pieces of cucumber. 367 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:02,435 I love cucumber. 368 00:12:02,469 --> 00:12:04,637 - Oh, I love cucumber. - Yeah, it's good. 369 00:12:04,671 --> 00:12:06,205 So, now we got the cucumber down. 370 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:08,040 Let's just take a couple pieces of avocado. 371 00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:12,311 Oh, avocado I don't like, but I'll put it on this food. 372 00:12:12,346 --> 00:12:13,746 I don't know about this. 373 00:12:13,781 --> 00:12:15,281 There's no tenderness in what you're doing. 374 00:12:15,315 --> 00:12:16,883 You mind your own dish! 375 00:12:16,917 --> 00:12:19,152 I am minding my own dish, and my dish, right now, 376 00:12:19,186 --> 00:12:20,820 would woo the heck outta Melvin. 377 00:12:20,854 --> 00:12:23,890 I would get that guy over you in a heartbeat. 378 00:12:23,924 --> 00:12:25,958 You know, even though I'm not into a guy like that. 379 00:12:25,993 --> 00:12:26,993 - Okay. - Any guy. 380 00:12:27,027 --> 00:12:28,628 - What? - I'm not into any guy like that. 381 00:12:28,662 --> 00:12:29,829 - And he's not-- - Oh, I caught ya. 382 00:12:29,863 --> 00:12:31,597 - No, you didn't catch me. - Yeah, I caught ya. 383 00:12:31,632 --> 00:12:32,899 - No. - You heard that? 384 00:12:32,933 --> 00:12:34,133 He said he's not into a guy like that. 385 00:12:34,168 --> 00:12:35,368 He's not my type. 386 00:12:35,402 --> 00:12:36,502 What kinda guy are ya into? 387 00:12:36,537 --> 00:12:37,537 - I'm not. - Yeah. 388 00:12:37,571 --> 00:12:39,672 - The woman kind of guy. - Yeah, woman kinda guy. 389 00:12:39,706 --> 00:12:40,706 All right, we'll see. 390 00:12:40,741 --> 00:12:41,808 So, how do we roll this now? 391 00:12:41,842 --> 00:12:42,742 All right, guys. 392 00:12:42,776 --> 00:12:44,477 So, let's take the closer end to you 393 00:12:44,511 --> 00:12:46,045 and then just roll it. 394 00:12:46,079 --> 00:12:48,147 Roll it. Yeah. 395 00:12:48,182 --> 00:12:50,817 And just give it a nice, gentle squeeze. 396 00:12:50,851 --> 00:12:52,985 - Okay. - Yeah? 397 00:12:53,020 --> 00:12:54,153 Mm-hmm. 398 00:12:54,188 --> 00:12:55,855 - Wow! That looks great. - Yeah. 399 00:12:55,889 --> 00:12:57,356 - Yeah, looks good. - Wow, wow, wow! 400 00:12:57,391 --> 00:13:00,359 - You're a natural. - Oh. Mine is gonna be better. Look. 401 00:13:00,394 --> 00:13:01,928 Oh, okay. 402 00:13:01,962 --> 00:13:03,696 Not bad. 403 00:13:03,730 --> 00:13:05,798 What the hell happened? 404 00:13:05,833 --> 00:13:06,933 This is terrible. 405 00:13:06,967 --> 00:13:08,668 - No, no, it's good. - That's not a roll. 406 00:13:08,702 --> 00:13:09,702 He's gonna see this and say, 407 00:13:09,736 --> 00:13:10,837 "What the hell is this?" 408 00:13:10,871 --> 00:13:12,104 No, we're gonna cover it in some fish. 409 00:13:12,139 --> 00:13:14,140 - It's okay. It's fine. - No, this is-- Aye-aye-aye-aye! 410 00:13:14,174 --> 00:13:15,942 - Oh, wh-- no, no, no, no. - Look at this. It came out! 411 00:13:15,976 --> 00:13:17,443 This dish is gonna ruin me! 412 00:13:17,477 --> 00:13:20,112 And he's gonna go for someone else. 413 00:13:28,755 --> 00:13:30,556 Just for the record, I was making mine wi-- 414 00:13:30,591 --> 00:13:32,692 uh, with a woman in mind, 415 00:13:32,726 --> 00:13:36,762 a very busty woman, really busty. 416 00:13:36,796 --> 00:13:39,231 ♪ la la la la la la la ♪ 417 00:13:43,956 --> 00:13:45,590 I'm gonna die alone, 418 00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:50,228 and it's 100% the fault of this horrible dish. 419 00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:52,564 Melvin killed 14 Koreans in the war. 420 00:13:52,598 --> 00:13:55,534 He owns the precision hair trimmer. 421 00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:58,670 He's not gonna be impressed by Sushi. 422 00:13:58,704 --> 00:14:01,640 I need to make him something that says love. 423 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:06,878 So, I've learned how to make Korean, uh, bi-- 424 00:14:06,913 --> 00:14:09,514 bi-bim-- ba-bum-ba. 425 00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:11,083 Ba-bum-ba-ba. 426 00:14:11,117 --> 00:14:11,883 Whatever it's called. 427 00:14:11,918 --> 00:14:13,185 Bim-bim-yap. 428 00:14:13,219 --> 00:14:14,820 Ba-ba-zoom. 429 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,089 Ba-ba-be-beetle. 430 00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:19,091 Be-bems-be-bom. 431 00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:26,565 These are the best. 432 00:14:26,599 --> 00:14:28,467 I can't-- I don't know how to thank you. 433 00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:30,035 You're all the way from Cleveland. All right. 434 00:14:30,069 --> 00:14:31,169 Wait a second. 435 00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,370 - Oy, look who's here. - Oh, great. 436 00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:34,539 No, the way to a man's heart is-is-is-is-is through-- 437 00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:36,208 - Is through his stomach. - Is through his stomach, yeah. 438 00:14:36,242 --> 00:14:37,909 You're gonna make him sick with that. 439 00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:39,344 What did you make? 440 00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:42,280 - I have a pillow that-- - That's gonna end up in a garage sale. 441 00:14:42,315 --> 00:14:44,316 - That she got in a garage sale. - What's he gonna do with that? 442 00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:45,250 You think he wants a pillow? 443 00:14:45,284 --> 00:14:46,318 You think he needs a pillow? 444 00:14:46,352 --> 00:14:47,352 What is he gonna do with that? 445 00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:48,320 I needlepointed this. 446 00:14:48,354 --> 00:14:50,088 My brisket is back at my place, 447 00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:52,791 and he's going to go to heaven with it. 448 00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:53,825 Yeah, 20 years ago. 449 00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:55,527 I dare say this, but he doesn't want the brisket 450 00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:56,828 that you're cooking in the oven. 451 00:14:56,863 --> 00:14:58,029 - Oh. - He wants the brisket, uh, 452 00:14:58,064 --> 00:14:59,498 that you're cooking down there. 453 00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:01,867 Well, that's another story. 454 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,668 - Melvin? - Oh. 455 00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:05,070 Rosemary Guerrero-- 456 00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:06,538 Now, this is a little dish. 457 00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:09,074 I don't cook, not in the kitchen anyway. 458 00:15:09,108 --> 00:15:10,408 Oh, but you're hot. 459 00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:12,711 Now, I wanna tell you a little something. 460 00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:15,113 My husband, Sheldon, uh, he's in the chair. 461 00:15:15,148 --> 00:15:16,982 He's on the diaper. 462 00:15:17,016 --> 00:15:18,049 Would you like to come over? 463 00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:20,852 I usually put Sheldon down around 6:30. 464 00:15:20,887 --> 00:15:23,588 Come around, uh, 7:15. 465 00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:25,056 I make a great sangria. 466 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:27,893 - Okay. - Listen to a little Marilyn McCoo. 467 00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:28,894 - Oy vey. - Move it along. 468 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,061 Move it along, lady. 469 00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:31,730 - I love Marilyn McCoo. - Who doesn't? 470 00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:32,797 And if you don't like that, 471 00:15:32,832 --> 00:15:34,633 I've got some great Godfrey Cambridge records. 472 00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:36,201 Oh, my goodness. We'll laugh. 473 00:15:36,235 --> 00:15:37,569 I'm telling you-- we will laugh. And love. And live. 474 00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:38,870 - Melvin, she bites. - All right. All right. 475 00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:40,238 She bites when she gives fellatio. 476 00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,339 - Get out. - She bites. 477 00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:42,440 - Get outta here! - Bye, Rosemary. 478 00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:43,842 She bites. She's a biter. 479 00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:45,977 This is a needlepoint I made. 480 00:15:46,012 --> 00:15:49,381 It's my favorite pillow, and I wanted you to have it. 481 00:15:49,415 --> 00:15:51,383 I'd love for you to come to my place. 482 00:15:51,417 --> 00:15:54,286 You bring the pillow, and I have the brisket-- 483 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,321 And I have potato pancakes. 484 00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:57,455 Yeah, he's gonna bring the pillow around with him. 485 00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:58,623 That's what he wants to do. 486 00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:00,592 Is carry your pillow all over the place. 487 00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:01,826 Which floor are you? 488 00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:04,796 I'm on the second floor, in the back. 489 00:16:04,830 --> 00:16:07,232 They put her in the back because she bothers people. 490 00:16:07,266 --> 00:16:08,333 I'll find you. 491 00:16:08,367 --> 00:16:10,602 You have no chance. 492 00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:11,736 Watch this. 493 00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:12,804 No. 494 00:16:14,273 --> 00:16:16,141 Oh, get outta here. Geez. 495 00:16:16,175 --> 00:16:17,842 Yeah, what the hell am I gonna do with a pillow? 496 00:16:17,877 --> 00:16:18,910 I don't know. 497 00:16:18,945 --> 00:16:20,045 Maybe stuff it up her ass. 498 00:16:20,079 --> 00:16:22,514 I swear, Gigi, if you don't change your MO here-- 499 00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:23,748 Did you smell this? 500 00:16:23,783 --> 00:16:26,384 - Yes, I smelled this. - Oy, it smells like a dog farted. 501 00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:27,919 - That's umami. - Umami? 502 00:16:27,954 --> 00:16:28,853 - Umami. - This one is too sharp. 503 00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:29,888 He's not gonna like it. 504 00:16:29,922 --> 00:16:31,189 - He is gonna eat it. - Oh, for God sakes! 505 00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:32,657 - How dare you call it-- - I'll call you, okay? 506 00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:34,726 - Come here, sweetie. - I love you. Muah. 507 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,228 Okay, I'll sp-speak to you later. 508 00:16:36,262 --> 00:16:38,396 ...are the most incredible cookies that I made. 509 00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:40,065 Oh, I love cookies. What kind are these? 510 00:16:40,099 --> 00:16:41,166 Blue dream. 511 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:42,968 Blue dream? Ooh. 512 00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,402 What, are you gonna get him high? 513 00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:47,005 - This is really good. - She's a drug dealer. 514 00:16:47,039 --> 00:16:49,040 She deals drugs to all the, uh, grandchildren 515 00:16:49,075 --> 00:16:51,009 - of all the-- - They've been Bar Mitzvahed. 516 00:16:51,043 --> 00:16:52,744 - Well, I don't give a damn. - They're old enough to know. 517 00:16:52,778 --> 00:16:54,512 This shit is good. 518 00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:56,181 Well, you know where to find me, doll. 519 00:16:56,215 --> 00:16:57,616 At the end of the hall? 520 00:16:57,650 --> 00:17:00,385 On the second floor. 521 00:17:00,419 --> 00:17:01,453 Yeah, go. 522 00:17:01,487 --> 00:17:03,154 Yeah, go change out of your frock. 523 00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:04,623 It's not Saint Patty's day. 524 00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:06,024 Frock you! 525 00:17:06,058 --> 00:17:08,593 Melvin, Mr. Shlanga, what are you-- 526 00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:10,128 - I am. I am. - Look at you. 527 00:17:10,162 --> 00:17:11,196 Yes, how are you? 528 00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:14,266 It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. 529 00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:17,869 I hear you're very skilled in the bedroom. 530 00:17:17,903 --> 00:17:20,305 - What's your name? - My name is Gigi. 531 00:17:20,339 --> 00:17:22,274 - Cici, let me tell you somethin'. - Oh, you have such big hands. 532 00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:23,441 No, Gigi. 533 00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:24,743 Oh, my goodness. 534 00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:25,944 - Oh, look at what I made. - What is that? 535 00:17:25,978 --> 00:17:27,479 Is that, uh-- 536 00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:28,713 Do you know what it is? It's-- 537 00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:29,814 Uh, well, I served in Korea, 538 00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:30,949 and it look like one of those Korean dishes. 539 00:17:30,983 --> 00:17:31,850 It's-- it-it's Korean. 540 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:34,019 It's bibimbap! 541 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,754 Bibimbap. 542 00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:39,724 - I don't like bip or bop. - What? 543 00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:40,992 But, you ate all the-- look at this. 544 00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:43,194 This, I mean, this is disg-- 545 00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:45,830 This smells like a fart took a shit. 546 00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:48,400 Well, yeah, but it's chitlins, so-- 547 00:17:48,434 --> 00:17:49,768 and the white lady made chitlins. 548 00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:50,802 What do you think I'm gonna do? 549 00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:51,903 I've gotta eat it. 550 00:17:51,937 --> 00:17:54,639 But, this-- I don't like whatever this is, the bip-- 551 00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:56,374 I slaved all night over this for you. 552 00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:59,644 Don't ever use the word "slave" in front of me 553 00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:00,945 again, please. 554 00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:02,380 Well, it's a-- it's a, you know, 555 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:03,648 it's a expression. 556 00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:04,849 It's-- I don't mean it. 557 00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:07,719 I don't understand that, you know, more than likely 558 00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:09,521 you-you-you had, uh-- 559 00:18:09,555 --> 00:18:11,089 - I was never a slave. - You were never a slave? 560 00:18:11,123 --> 00:18:12,257 No, I was never a slave. 561 00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:14,392 Listen, it's okay if you were never a slave. 562 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:15,727 Listen, what's your name? JJ? 563 00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:17,028 Gigi. 564 00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:17,929 You're trying to get me to eat something 565 00:18:17,963 --> 00:18:18,963 I don't like. 566 00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:20,298 Maybe you should try and cook something else 567 00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:21,566 and bring another dish. 568 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,068 Take a bite-- one bite! 569 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,803 If I don't like it, I don't like it. 570 00:18:24,837 --> 00:18:26,805 You're really starting to push me. 571 00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:27,839 No, I'm-- you know what? 572 00:18:27,873 --> 00:18:29,207 I'm not bringing another dish. 573 00:18:29,241 --> 00:18:30,775 I worked very hard on that dish! 574 00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:33,311 Listen to me. I don't care. 575 00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:40,285 You know what? You-- you know what? 576 00:18:40,319 --> 00:18:41,820 I have a lotta money. 577 00:18:41,854 --> 00:18:44,155 I have a lot of money that you could've taken. 578 00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:45,590 I would've given you. 579 00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:47,025 You could've been a gigolo. 580 00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:48,026 - You-you blew it. - How much money do you have? 581 00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:48,960 - You blew it. - How much money do you have? 582 00:18:48,994 --> 00:18:50,995 That's none of your business. 583 00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:52,297 Why are you so angry? 584 00:18:52,331 --> 00:18:53,565 Because I slaved over this! 585 00:18:53,599 --> 00:18:54,666 Don't use "slave!" 586 00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,534 I've told you that before! 587 00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:57,936 Why, you son of a bitch. 588 00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:59,704 - May-May? - Excuse me. 589 00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:02,140 Please don't go away angry, but do go away. 590 00:19:02,174 --> 00:19:03,641 I'm gonna put a curse on you. 591 00:19:05,778 --> 00:19:07,345 Well, up your gee-gee and down your leg. 592 00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:08,980 Wish you were my Easter egg. 593 00:19:09,014 --> 00:19:10,081 Take this with you. 594 00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:11,916 - No, you keep it. - It sucks. 595 00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:13,251 Yeah, it sucks? You suck. 596 00:19:13,285 --> 00:19:14,686 And let me tell you something. 597 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,521 I woulda sucked you off. 598 00:19:16,555 --> 00:19:21,559 I woulda ssssucked you off. 599 00:19:21,594 --> 00:19:22,827 I'll strangle ya. 600 00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:25,497 - ♪ la la la la la la la ♪ - You fffffft-- 601 00:19:26,724 --> 00:19:28,258 Oh, all right. Y-yeah, call me back. 602 00:19:28,293 --> 00:19:30,060 Keep me abreast. 603 00:19:30,094 --> 00:19:33,530 Ho-ly shit. 604 00:19:33,565 --> 00:19:35,866 Melvin Shlanga has been rushed to the hospital 605 00:19:35,900 --> 00:19:37,334 with chest pains. 606 00:19:37,368 --> 00:19:38,869 He's in observation. 607 00:19:38,903 --> 00:19:41,839 It must've been all the food he ate. 608 00:19:41,873 --> 00:19:43,841 They took him to Boca's worst hospital, too, 609 00:19:43,875 --> 00:19:45,342 Boca West. 610 00:19:45,376 --> 00:19:47,978 You know, a doctor there got caught stealing organs. 611 00:19:48,012 --> 00:19:49,913 Selling them on the black market-- 612 00:19:49,948 --> 00:19:52,516 uh, hearts, livers, kidneys. 613 00:19:52,550 --> 00:19:54,952 He even stole someone's eyes once. 614 00:19:54,986 --> 00:19:57,454 It was a big thing. 615 00:19:57,489 --> 00:19:59,289 He nearly lost his license. 616 00:20:02,627 --> 00:20:04,127 ♪ la la la la la ♪ 617 00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:05,929 ♪ la la la la la ♪ 618 00:20:05,964 --> 00:20:09,132 ♪ la la la la la la la ♪ 619 00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:11,001 You know, I cannot believe that Melvin died. 620 00:20:11,035 --> 00:20:12,669 We were just with him the other day. 621 00:20:12,704 --> 00:20:14,638 He was so strong and so spry. 622 00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:16,006 So full of life, you know? 623 00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:18,775 It's amazing how fast life happens. 624 00:20:18,810 --> 00:20:20,544 Uh, any word on what he died of? 625 00:20:20,578 --> 00:20:22,546 Yeah, they're sayin' it was a food allergy. 626 00:20:22,580 --> 00:20:24,147 Are you kidding me? 627 00:20:24,182 --> 00:20:26,750 A food allergy? 628 00:20:26,784 --> 00:20:28,652 That-- well, he didn't eat my food, 629 00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:29,953 so I'm in the clear. 630 00:20:29,988 --> 00:20:31,455 - Yeah, no blood on your hands. - No blood-- 631 00:20:31,489 --> 00:20:32,523 That's right. 632 00:20:32,557 --> 00:20:33,724 - Yeah, well-- - I shouldn't laugh. 633 00:20:33,758 --> 00:20:34,791 - You shouldn't laugh. - It's not funny. No. 634 00:20:34,826 --> 00:20:36,393 - No-- - Anyway, how do I look? 635 00:20:36,427 --> 00:20:39,396 - To be honest-- - Yeah. 636 00:20:39,430 --> 00:20:41,832 Far too loud for a funeral. 637 00:20:41,866 --> 00:20:43,300 It-it's w-way too vibrant. 638 00:20:43,334 --> 00:20:44,468 What are you talking about? 639 00:20:44,502 --> 00:20:45,869 I think I'm downplaying it here. 640 00:20:45,904 --> 00:20:47,638 No, you're, uh, you're supposed to represent 641 00:20:47,672 --> 00:20:49,139 - death at a funeral. - Right. 642 00:20:49,173 --> 00:20:50,474 That's why everyone wears black. 643 00:20:50,508 --> 00:20:52,643 Yeah, but, you know, that's so cliche. 644 00:20:52,677 --> 00:20:55,112 No, you need something a little more conservative. 645 00:20:55,146 --> 00:20:56,880 Something like this, you know? 646 00:20:56,915 --> 00:20:58,115 No, no, no. 647 00:20:58,149 --> 00:20:59,983 This is-- this-this is drab. 648 00:21:00,018 --> 00:21:02,119 - It's not drab. - Get it away from me. 649 00:21:02,153 --> 00:21:03,086 It's way more appropriate for a funeral. 650 00:21:03,121 --> 00:21:05,255 It's drab. I don't wanna wear that. 651 00:21:05,290 --> 00:21:07,324 Well, you're gonna be louder than anyone there, 652 00:21:07,358 --> 00:21:09,259 not just with your voice, but with your outfit. 653 00:21:09,294 --> 00:21:11,762 Yes, I know. I'm looking to impress. 654 00:21:11,796 --> 00:21:13,130 Who are you trying to impress? 655 00:21:13,164 --> 00:21:14,464 Oh, I didn't tell you? 656 00:21:14,499 --> 00:21:17,801 Melvin has a twin brother, Elvin Shlanga. 657 00:21:17,835 --> 00:21:20,737 He's got more money, and he's even more black. 658 00:21:21,970 --> 00:21:25,847 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com