1
00:00:00,050 --> 00:00:02,450
This programme contains strong
language and adult humour.

2
00:00:17,780 --> 00:00:21,740
There she is, hovering
ominously - Dobby's yellow head.

3
00:00:21,780 --> 00:00:23,940
I'm not about to masturbate
looking at the head.

4
00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:25,460
That's what they want me to do.

5
00:00:25,500 --> 00:00:29,260
Hm, same noodle bar she went to
yesterday, and Tuesday.

6
00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:31,100
What's going on at the noodle bar?

7
00:00:31,140 --> 00:00:34,700
Three-star reviews. It's possible she
just likes the food.

8
00:00:34,740 --> 00:00:36,180
But hard to completely believe.

9
00:00:36,220 --> 00:00:38,140
Mark, can I put the heating on?
I'm freezing.

10
00:00:38,180 --> 00:00:40,020
No. Wear a jumper, walk about.

11
00:00:40,060 --> 00:00:41,860
You want me to stride about the flat

12
00:00:41,900 --> 00:00:43,900
covered in wool simply to stay
alive?

13
00:00:43,940 --> 00:00:45,620
New York? Uh-huh.

14
00:00:45,660 --> 00:00:48,300
Seems Dobby never deleted me
off her Find My Friends app.

15
00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:50,980
This is your perfect way of going
out with someone, isn't it?

16
00:00:51,020 --> 00:00:53,020
Safe in your sexual GCHQ.

17
00:00:53,060 --> 00:00:55,260
I'm trying to build up a picture
of her mental state.

18
00:00:55,300 --> 00:00:58,260
For example, there's this organic
bakery she's been to this afternoon

19
00:00:58,300 --> 00:00:59,780
and twice more this week.

20
00:00:59,820 --> 00:01:02,660
I checked their Twitter
and their carrot cake just ran out.

21
00:01:02,700 --> 00:01:05,740
The other day, she was in
and the same thing happened.

22
00:01:05,780 --> 00:01:06,980
It could be a coincidence.

23
00:01:07,020 --> 00:01:08,540
I'm not saying she's eating a whole

24
00:01:08,580 --> 00:01:10,340
carrot cake every time she goes in
there,

25
00:01:10,380 --> 00:01:12,180
but you've got to admit,
it's interesting.

26
00:01:12,220 --> 00:01:14,780
Fascinating
Here's a radical idea.

27
00:01:14,820 --> 00:01:17,260
Why don't you stop being a psycho
and give her a ring?

28
00:01:17,300 --> 00:01:18,660
She stopped answering my calls

29
00:01:18,700 --> 00:01:20,420
after I went a bit overboard
that time.

30
00:01:20,460 --> 00:01:21,620
The million-text month?

31
00:01:21,660 --> 00:01:23,060
Mm. So unfair.

32
00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:25,100
The 327-text month.

33
00:01:25,140 --> 00:01:26,660
Put it back, Jeremy.

34
00:01:26,700 --> 00:01:28,500
That thing eats electricity.

35
00:01:28,540 --> 00:01:31,780
It's only seven hours till the
central heating comes back on.

36
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'It's going in the vault.
The new regime.

37
00:01:34,140 --> 00:01:37,100
'Heater in the cupboard, tracker tag
on the nice towel,

38
00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:39,820
'mousetrap in the Frosties.'

39
00:01:39,860 --> 00:01:41,580
It's great you do home visits.

40
00:01:41,620 --> 00:01:44,580
I find it makes for a more conducive
life-coaching environment

41
00:01:44,620 --> 00:01:46,180
than you at my place, my socks

42
00:01:46,220 --> 00:01:48,500
on the radiator and me sitting on a
bongo.

43
00:01:48,540 --> 00:01:51,180
I've done some more art boxes.
'Megan's so lovely.

44
00:01:51,220 --> 00:01:53,380
'I'm definitely falling in
love with her.

45
00:01:53,420 --> 00:01:55,100
'But what the hell's she talking
about?

46
00:01:55,140 --> 00:01:56,780
'Focus. I need to give her

47
00:01:56,820 --> 00:01:59,940
'a really useful, usable bit of
actual handcrafted wisdom that...

48
00:01:59,980 --> 00:02:02,020
'Ooh, is that Watchmen?
I never saw Watchmen.'

49
00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:06,260
Sorry I'm back so early. I'll, um...
I'll hide out in the bedroom.

50
00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:08,580
No, it's OK. Jeremy, this is Joe,
my boyfriend.

51
00:02:08,620 --> 00:02:09,860
Oh, hey, Joe.

52
00:02:09,900 --> 00:02:12,180
'He's eyeing me. There's an
atmosphere.

53
00:02:12,220 --> 00:02:14,060
'Does he want to hit me?'

54
00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:15,900
Jeremy was just saying
I should quit my job

55
00:02:15,940 --> 00:02:17,940
and concentrate, like, 100%
on my boxes.

56
00:02:17,980 --> 00:02:19,660
'Fuck, did I?'
JOE: Really?

57
00:02:19,700 --> 00:02:21,220
Wow, that's a... That's a big one.

58
00:02:21,260 --> 00:02:24,180
Sure. Big call.
Quite the wise old guru.

59
00:02:24,220 --> 00:02:26,380
Hey, less of the "old", young man.

60
00:02:26,420 --> 00:02:30,100
I'm still young enough to give you
a...bloody good...duffing up.

61
00:02:30,140 --> 00:02:32,100
'We're not going to fight, but I

62
00:02:32,140 --> 00:02:34,860
'reckon I could duff him up, if I
needed to.

63
00:02:34,900 --> 00:02:38,420
'Take him out, take him apart,
sort him out big-time.

64
00:02:38,460 --> 00:02:40,500
'I could...take him, definitely.

65
00:02:40,540 --> 00:02:43,300
'If I needed to.'

66
00:02:43,340 --> 00:02:46,340
Thanks for seeing me, Mark, mate.
No problem.

67
00:02:46,380 --> 00:02:50,380
'Mate? He wants my liver for a
transplant? Well, he can't have it.

68
00:02:50,900 --> 00:02:52,860
'And I'm saving my kidneys for little
Ian.'

69
00:02:52,900 --> 00:02:53,980
Look, um...

70
00:02:54,020 --> 00:02:57,260
I don't think I've ever said this
before, but I've got a huge...

71
00:02:57,300 --> 00:02:59,580
Huge amount of respect for you,
yeah?

72
00:02:59,620 --> 00:03:02,060
When Ukip come to round us all up,
you'll be there,

73
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won't you, at the barricades,
saying, "No"?

74
00:03:04,300 --> 00:03:06,900
Oh, that's... That's very nice of you
to say, Hans.

75
00:03:06,940 --> 00:03:09,020
Yeah. So, er...
Well, it's like this.

76
00:03:09,060 --> 00:03:12,220
Er, I want you to be best man
at my wedding.

77
00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:13,820
Best man?

78
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,140
But what about Jez?

79
00:03:15,180 --> 00:03:17,460
Molly hates him. I need a...norm.

80
00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:20,980
And you, well, you're a real meat
and potatoes, straight up and down,

81
00:03:21,020 --> 00:03:24,820
beef Wellington, don't trust the
Argies, dick in the vagina,

82
00:03:24,860 --> 00:03:28,300
Cheddar cheese and chicken tikka
masala man.

83
00:03:28,340 --> 00:03:29,940
Thank you?

84
00:03:29,980 --> 00:03:33,140
'There is nothing that could persuade
me to strap myself to the huge,

85
00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:37,180
'flaming Super Hans wedding zeppelin
with a gang of drugged-up goons.

86
00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:39,580
'Oh, hang on.'

87
00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:41,740
Is...Dobby invited?

88
00:03:41,780 --> 00:03:43,140
Er, yeah.

89
00:03:43,180 --> 00:03:46,100
We've got a "no smackheads,
no crackheads" rule, so, the, er...

90
00:03:46,140 --> 00:03:47,700
The old long list is pretty short.

91
00:03:47,740 --> 00:03:49,580
I mean, I-I'd love to come.

92
00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:52,620
But maybe without being
your best man.

93
00:03:52,660 --> 00:03:54,980
Yeah, I bet you would,
you cheeky fucker.

94
00:03:55,020 --> 00:03:57,660
No, you're going to have to earn
your rack of lamb, buddy.

95
00:03:57,700 --> 00:04:00,820
'Oh, strap on the cummerbund.'

96
00:04:00,860 --> 00:04:02,380
'Need to professionalise in here.

97
00:04:02,420 --> 00:04:05,380
'Lose the lions, put up my
certificate, get a filing cabinet.

98
00:04:05,420 --> 00:04:07,420
'Except, have I got anything to
f...?

99
00:04:07,460 --> 00:04:08,700
'What is that?

100
00:04:08,740 --> 00:04:11,060
'Wait, is that a fucking
thermometer?

101
00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:15,100
'He's finally bloody lost it.'

102
00:04:15,460 --> 00:04:17,020
Hello. Hello.

103
00:04:17,060 --> 00:04:19,620
What are you doing?
Just taking a temperature reading.

104
00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:21,980
I thought perhaps
you'd bought your own fan heater.

105
00:04:22,020 --> 00:04:23,380
Oh, for fuck's sake!

106
00:04:23,420 --> 00:04:26,180
I need to get off for Fakenham,
to be there the night before,

107
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for everything.

108
00:04:27,420 --> 00:04:29,980
'He's in his jacket, going to
everything.' While I'm gone,

109
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no turning the central heating
to constant.

110
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So, off you go, the best man.

111
00:04:34,260 --> 00:04:35,460
I'm sorry, Jez.

112
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The single best man there is.

113
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You know they haven't even invited

114
00:04:39,100 --> 00:04:40,940
me to the ceremony,
just the reception.

115
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I only said yes because of Dobby.
To win her back.

116
00:04:43,060 --> 00:04:45,300
I need to get back to the good
times.

117
00:04:45,340 --> 00:04:48,500
Hours on the sofa, DVDs and takeaway
lamb pasanda.

118
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I'm going to be the Mark
Dobby always wanted,

119
00:04:50,900 --> 00:04:53,460
who goes to those
spoken-word poetry events

120
00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:55,540
where most of the poems are by women

121
00:04:55,580 --> 00:04:57,980
about the awesome power of the

122
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You can't even say it.

123
00:04:59,940 --> 00:05:01,860
There's enough unpleasantness
in the world.

124
00:05:01,900 --> 00:05:04,700
See you tomorrow.

125
00:05:04,740 --> 00:05:08,740
'I have so many funny stories
about Hans, where do I start?

126
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:11,500
'The time he tried to cut my legs off
when he was tripping

127
00:05:11,540 --> 00:05:13,940
'because he thought I was a demon?
Or the time

128
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,620
'he just went straight for me with

129
00:05:15,660 --> 00:05:17,780
'a chicken skewer for no apparent
reason?

130
00:05:17,820 --> 00:05:19,700
'Shit, Dobby's off-grid.

131
00:05:19,740 --> 00:05:21,780
'She could be anywhere. So selfish.

132
00:05:21,820 --> 00:05:25,140
'Quick Neighbourhood Watch over my
own personal neighbourhood,

133
00:05:25,180 --> 00:05:28,300
'then maybe a disappointing Skype
chat with my son.

134
00:05:28,340 --> 00:05:31,380
'There's nothing unethical
about secretly filming my own flat.

135
00:05:31,420 --> 00:05:33,900
'If he's got nothing to hide,
he's got nothing to fear.

136
00:05:33,940 --> 00:05:36,260
'A vest? That heat-thieving bastard.

137
00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:39,380
'I should put a mousetrap in there.
That'd be fun.'

138
00:05:40,820 --> 00:05:42,500
'It's time for the show trial.

139
00:05:42,540 --> 00:05:45,500
'I'm going to make him confess
his thermostat crimes.

140
00:05:45,540 --> 00:05:48,300
'The heating Stasi
are coming for you, Jeremy.'

141
00:05:48,340 --> 00:05:50,580
Oh, hey, Mark. How's the advance
party going?

142
00:05:50,620 --> 00:05:52,300
Oh, good, Jeremy. You?

143
00:05:52,340 --> 00:05:54,380
You're looking quite toasty over
there.

144
00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:56,860
Er, yeah, well, it was quite a
warm day. 'Oh, really?

145
00:05:56,900 --> 00:05:58,860
Not according to the Met Office,
it's not.

146
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,380
Microclimate.

147
00:06:00,420 --> 00:06:02,460
There is no microclimate
around Apollo House.

148
00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:03,660
Well, that would explain

149
00:06:03,700 --> 00:06:06,100
why I'm feeling quite chilly now.
You don't look chilly.

150
00:06:06,140 --> 00:06:07,820
Brrrr. Bullshit.

151
00:06:07,860 --> 00:06:09,340
It's an hour outside the agreed

152
00:06:09,380 --> 00:06:11,900
heating window and the flat looks
incredibly warm.

153
00:06:11,940 --> 00:06:14,020
How could it look warm, you maniac?

154
00:06:15,460 --> 00:06:16,740
Who's that?

155
00:06:16,780 --> 00:06:19,100
Oh, that'll be the Isis guys
that I've invited round

156
00:06:19,140 --> 00:06:21,500
to charge their mobiles on your
coin. Don't joke.

157
00:06:21,540 --> 00:06:23,020
Now, turn the heating off,

158
00:06:23,060 --> 00:06:25,420
put a jumper on and text me
a picture of you wearing it

159
00:06:25,460 --> 00:06:29,460
in front of the thermostat
with today's paper.

160
00:06:30,340 --> 00:06:32,260
Hey. Oh, hi.

161
00:06:32,300 --> 00:06:34,660
Er, wondered if you had time
for a bit of life coaching,

162
00:06:34,700 --> 00:06:37,900
um...off the clock.

163
00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:39,540
Sure.

164
00:06:39,580 --> 00:06:42,300
Hey, I know what the weird
atmosphere is.

165
00:06:43,580 --> 00:06:44,620
Coming, Hans.

166
00:06:44,660 --> 00:06:45,860
Oh, God, Dobby.

167
00:06:45,900 --> 00:06:47,780
Hi. Wow!

168
00:06:47,820 --> 00:06:49,780
Did you just arrive?
Did-Did your phone die?

169
00:06:49,820 --> 00:06:52,180
Er, yeah, it did. How did you know?

170
00:06:52,220 --> 00:06:53,780
Great to see you.

171
00:06:53,820 --> 00:06:55,300
I just wanted to say hi

172
00:06:55,340 --> 00:06:57,060
and head off any potential weirdness

173
00:06:57,100 --> 00:06:58,940
by being as weird as possible right
now.

174
00:06:58,980 --> 00:07:01,020
So, rrrraaaarrgh!

175
00:07:01,060 --> 00:07:03,460
Good option. Blaaaargh!

176
00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:07,020
'OK, she's still adorable.
Time to go to DEFCON 1.

177
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:09,340
'Roll out the new Mark manifesto.'

178
00:07:09,380 --> 00:07:13,180
Dobby, come in. There was actually
something I wanted to say.

179
00:07:13,220 --> 00:07:16,220
'No pressure, but go out with me
or I'll hang myself.'

180
00:07:16,260 --> 00:07:18,700
Hey. Er, my toothbrush isn't
charging.

181
00:07:18,740 --> 00:07:21,460
I think the voltages are wrong here.

182
00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:24,180
Can I, er...?
'Who the fuck are you?

183
00:07:24,220 --> 00:07:26,740
'And what have you got against
240 lovely British volts?'

184
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,620
Hi. Hi.

185
00:07:28,660 --> 00:07:31,140
That's Gregory.
Fuck this shit, it won't go in.

186
00:07:31,180 --> 00:07:32,780
And what does Gregory do?

187
00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:36,020
He's resting and writing
a great blog about digital rights

188
00:07:36,060 --> 00:07:38,380
and how Brooklyn is changing for
the worse,

189
00:07:38,420 --> 00:07:40,860
and comparing the different coffee
shops he doesn't like

190
00:07:40,900 --> 00:07:42,660
and how their coffee isn't real
coffee.

191
00:07:42,700 --> 00:07:44,140
And the carrot cakes?

192
00:07:44,180 --> 00:07:46,020
Er, yeah, sometimes.

193
00:07:46,060 --> 00:07:48,860
'I knew it.' OK. It's, er, charging.

194
00:07:48,900 --> 00:07:51,700
I'm going to go back to the room.
I think I've got a headache.

195
00:07:51,740 --> 00:07:53,260
But I'm not sure.

196
00:07:53,300 --> 00:07:55,020
You coming, Dobby?

197
00:07:55,060 --> 00:07:58,340
Leave poor old million-text Mark
to his surveillance.

198
00:07:58,380 --> 00:08:01,020
That's Jeremy.
What's Jeremy doing in my bedroom?

199
00:08:01,060 --> 00:08:03,700
Mark, have you rigged your flat up
with spycams?

200
00:08:03,740 --> 00:08:06,740
Webcams. If Jeremy has nothing to
hide, he has nothing to fear.

201
00:08:06,780 --> 00:08:08,340
Who's that?

202
00:08:08,380 --> 00:08:11,500
Some guy. He's taken some guy into my
room.

203
00:08:11,540 --> 00:08:12,980
Oh, God.

204
00:08:13,020 --> 00:08:15,300
Is he going to sell all my stuff,
or...

205
00:08:15,340 --> 00:08:18,020
Or download something horrible
onto my computer?

206
00:08:18,060 --> 00:08:19,940
Wow.

207
00:08:19,980 --> 00:08:22,900
Jeremy's gone gay. OK.

208
00:08:22,940 --> 00:08:25,420
Is he playing the field,
or is this guy his boyfriend?

209
00:08:25,460 --> 00:08:29,180
Don't know. He's always been
pretty slutty and a bit...

210
00:08:29,220 --> 00:08:32,060
But not actually the full...

211
00:08:32,100 --> 00:08:35,220
God, maybe he does this
every time I leave the house.

212
00:08:35,260 --> 00:08:37,500
Oh, God, what are they going to do
next?

213
00:08:37,540 --> 00:08:39,460
I think I know what they're going to
do next.

214
00:08:39,500 --> 00:08:41,700
Well, why can't they do it in his
bed?

215
00:08:41,740 --> 00:08:45,740
We should turn this off.
Yeah, we definitely should.

216
00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:49,740
That reading light's going to go.

217
00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:51,860
I wonder if they're going to be into

218
00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:54,540
penetration or just clip each other
off.

219
00:08:54,580 --> 00:08:57,020
Yeah, that gives it a certain
suspense.

220
00:08:57,060 --> 00:09:01,060
I really feel I shouldn't be watching
this.

221
00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:03,620
Are they...

222
00:09:03,660 --> 00:09:05,260
Is my room all right?

223
00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:09,180
Your room's fine, but Jeremy's cock's
getting quite the hammering.

224
00:09:09,220 --> 00:09:11,540
Oi-oi, Marco, ready to go?

225
00:09:11,580 --> 00:09:13,020
Molly's gang are staying here, so

226
00:09:13,060 --> 00:09:15,180
Team Hans are off to burn down the
village.

227
00:09:15,220 --> 00:09:16,940
Ooh.
What you watching?

228
00:09:16,980 --> 00:09:18,980
Jez get fucked by some guy
on Mark's webcam.

229
00:09:19,020 --> 00:09:21,620
Right. Fair play.

230
00:09:21,660 --> 00:09:23,740
How long you been filming Jez
having sex, Mark?

231
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:25,860
It's accidental. I just wanted to
make sure

232
00:09:25,900 --> 00:09:28,020
he hadn't turned up the central
heating.

233
00:09:28,060 --> 00:09:29,780
You can relax on that front.

234
00:09:29,820 --> 00:09:32,260
I don't think they're going to need
any central heating.

235
00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:33,940
'I will not watch this.

236
00:09:33,980 --> 00:09:36,660
'I'm going to go and stare into the
mirror and wait out the fucking

237
00:09:36,700 --> 00:09:38,740
'like it's an air raid.'
DOBBY: Whoo!

238
00:09:38,780 --> 00:09:42,780
The reading light's gone, Mark.
Ohh.

239
00:09:43,460 --> 00:09:46,460
Anything else for the speech?
Gregory, it's all cool.

240
00:09:46,500 --> 00:09:48,780
Mark is not going to jump me.

241
00:09:48,820 --> 00:09:50,900
He's not an alpha male asshole.

242
00:09:50,940 --> 00:09:53,380
'Heh-heh! Everyone trusts the
pathetic worm.

243
00:09:53,420 --> 00:09:55,260
'It's good to be a pathetic worm.'

244
00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:58,220
Stop being a psycho and go back
to live-tweeting your headache.

245
00:09:58,260 --> 00:10:01,420
Oh, right, I once fucking totalled a
mate's car,

246
00:10:01,460 --> 00:10:03,580
smashed the shit out of it big-time,

247
00:10:03,620 --> 00:10:07,620
and we fell out and he came for me,
but I did him.

248
00:10:09,420 --> 00:10:11,220
Uh-huh. That's...

249
00:10:11,260 --> 00:10:13,500
That's a good story. Um...

250
00:10:13,540 --> 00:10:17,540
Any-Anything I could use that might
be a bit more romantic?

251
00:10:17,620 --> 00:10:19,700
Also, and I know this might sound

252
00:10:19,740 --> 00:10:22,460
like a bit of a starter question,
but...

253
00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:24,860
What's your name?

254
00:10:24,900 --> 00:10:28,300
Megan doesn't need to know about
this. Right?

255
00:10:28,340 --> 00:10:30,300
Oh, sure. Just watching TV
with a guy.

256
00:10:30,340 --> 00:10:32,580
It's like watching TV with
Mark.

257
00:10:32,620 --> 00:10:35,540
Except, generally, I don't have
Mark's jizz on my leg.

258
00:10:35,580 --> 00:10:37,420
How would it be if...?

259
00:10:37,460 --> 00:10:40,100
I mean, I've had a really nice time
and, er,

260
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,100
I don't want to push it, but...

261
00:10:42,140 --> 00:10:43,980
What if I stayed over?

262
00:10:44,020 --> 00:10:45,420
Er...

263
00:10:45,460 --> 00:10:46,860
'Cuddling up all night with Joe,

264
00:10:46,900 --> 00:10:48,900
'as if we were boyfriend
and...boyfriend?

265
00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:51,700
'Am I going to go the full three
dimensions?'

266
00:10:51,740 --> 00:10:55,380
Love to, but I've got to get on a
coach to Norfolk.

267
00:10:55,420 --> 00:10:57,340
It's... Best friend's wedding.
Now?

268
00:10:57,380 --> 00:10:59,740
Yeah, got to go.

269
00:10:59,780 --> 00:11:02,540
Can't hang around here
cuddling all night long.

270
00:11:02,580 --> 00:11:06,580
Got to get on a night coach
to King's Lynn, my friend.

271
00:11:07,260 --> 00:11:10,100
I understand,
and I'm sorry for being rude.

272
00:11:10,140 --> 00:11:12,220
No, you've explained the economics

273
00:11:12,260 --> 00:11:16,260
of running a rural taxi firm very
clearly.

274
00:11:16,820 --> 00:11:18,100
Three hours for a cab.

275
00:11:18,140 --> 00:11:20,860
How are we going to get back?
We're in the middle of nowhere.

276
00:11:20,900 --> 00:11:22,660
Fuck! Right...

277
00:11:22,700 --> 00:11:24,380
Oh, no, Hans. No, not that.

278
00:11:24,420 --> 00:11:27,540
Wicked! Hitching! Well, one of us
is definitely going to get murdered.

279
00:11:27,580 --> 00:11:29,940
Probably bloody me.
It's usually the girl.

280
00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:32,020
Relax. There are three of us.

281
00:11:32,060 --> 00:11:34,740
If they try anything, just whip out
a bootlace and...

282
00:11:34,780 --> 00:11:37,420
Take 'em out from behind -
nice and easy.

283
00:11:37,460 --> 00:11:39,780
Er... So, yeah, Dobs, I just wanted

284
00:11:39,820 --> 00:11:43,300
to say, about the...million-text
month...

285
00:11:43,340 --> 00:11:44,940
Sorry.

286
00:11:44,980 --> 00:11:46,820
I was just not feeling like
chatting.

287
00:11:46,860 --> 00:11:48,900
After the weird picnic, I just
felt...

288
00:11:48,940 --> 00:11:50,700
You know when you want to get the
fuck out,

289
00:11:50,740 --> 00:11:52,300
because you're getting suffocated?

290
00:11:52,340 --> 00:11:54,580
Those last few months,
me and you, do you remember?

291
00:11:54,620 --> 00:11:57,420
We used to just sit on the sofa
watching DVDs

292
00:11:57,460 --> 00:11:59,740
and eating lamb pasanda
like a pair of zombies.

293
00:11:59,780 --> 00:12:02,820
Yeah. Was sort of like
a living death, wasn't it?

294
00:12:02,860 --> 00:12:04,460
'It was lovely.'

295
00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:08,300
Yeah, cos I've actually been thinking
of maybe training it to Budapest

296
00:12:08,340 --> 00:12:11,940
and getting into mime
and fucking street theatre.

297
00:12:11,980 --> 00:12:14,140
Yeah? You don't want to hitch in
England,

298
00:12:14,180 --> 00:12:15,860
but you want to mime in Hungary?

299
00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:17,460
Oh, God, no.

300
00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:19,500
Why would anyone be driving around
at this time?

301
00:12:19,540 --> 00:12:21,420
It doesn't make any sense.

302
00:12:21,460 --> 00:12:24,340
Dobby, we're not seriously
going to get into a stranger's car?

303
00:12:24,380 --> 00:12:26,620
It's an adventure, Mark.
They could be anyone.

304
00:12:26,660 --> 00:12:29,100
Poets, hippies, freaks, norms.

305
00:12:29,140 --> 00:12:31,740
Maniacs, people smugglers,
organ harvesters.

306
00:12:31,780 --> 00:12:33,860
Mm, everyone's drinking the Kool-Aid.

307
00:12:33,900 --> 00:12:36,580
I don't want any delicious Kool-Aid.

308
00:12:36,620 --> 00:12:38,380
'The tinny vibration.

309
00:12:38,420 --> 00:12:40,780
'God, that's annoying.
That has got to hurt.

310
00:12:40,820 --> 00:12:44,180
'I'm aggressively glancing.
Constant eye flicks and no smile.

311
00:12:44,220 --> 00:12:47,060
'Man, he's got to be hurting.
This is inhuman.

312
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,220
'I'm slaying him.

313
00:12:49,260 --> 00:12:51,540
'What the hell am I doing
in this horrible coach

314
00:12:51,580 --> 00:12:53,500
'instead of spooning with
a lovely guy?

315
00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:56,140
'Do I love Joe? Do I love Megan?

316
00:12:56,180 --> 00:12:58,540
'Do I love this guy sitting
next to me?

317
00:12:58,580 --> 00:13:01,260
'Am I a guy who just slept with a
guy, which is fine,

318
00:13:01,300 --> 00:13:04,220
'or am I a guy who is a gay guy,
which is also fine,

319
00:13:04,260 --> 00:13:07,220
'or am I a guy who sometimes sleeps
with guys and sometimes doesn't?

320
00:13:07,260 --> 00:13:08,900
'Which is also fine.

321
00:13:08,940 --> 00:13:11,300
'It's all totally fine.'

322
00:13:11,340 --> 00:13:12,580
So, why are you all out, then?

323
00:13:12,620 --> 00:13:14,660
You guys looking for a good time,
or what?

324
00:13:14,700 --> 00:13:17,420
'God, they're doggers.
I'm going to get dogged.'

325
00:13:17,460 --> 00:13:20,660
Oh, we've just been out for a few
tomato juices, heading home.

326
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:22,620
Do you know anywhere haunted?

327
00:13:22,660 --> 00:13:24,900
Properly haunted, not just bullshit
for tourists?

328
00:13:24,940 --> 00:13:27,220
What do you think? Have we got time
for a quick detour?

329
00:13:27,260 --> 00:13:30,140
We could go up to the old air-raid
shelter up on the top road.

330
00:13:30,180 --> 00:13:33,380
'Oh, my God. I knew someone was going
to get murdered.'

331
00:13:33,420 --> 00:13:34,940
Hans! What?

332
00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:37,220
Do not murder him. What did you say?

333
00:13:37,260 --> 00:13:39,420
Er, nothing. Did you tell him to
murder us?

334
00:13:39,460 --> 00:13:41,580
No, no, I said not to murder you.

335
00:13:41,620 --> 00:13:44,420
Just doing up my laces, guys.
Relax, for fuck's sake.

336
00:13:44,460 --> 00:13:46,300
Why are you talking about murdering
us?

337
00:13:46,340 --> 00:13:48,540
No, no murdering. It's a
misunderstanding.

338
00:13:48,580 --> 00:13:50,020
Cos if you come for us, I'll chop

339
00:13:50,060 --> 00:13:52,540
you up and feed you into a fucking
septic tank.

340
00:13:52,580 --> 00:13:55,940
Touche. We...we relent.
Seriously, no...no harm meant.

341
00:13:55,980 --> 00:13:59,660
I-I momentarily thought that there
was an outside chance that my pal

342
00:13:59,700 --> 00:14:01,340
might be going to try to murder you

343
00:14:01,380 --> 00:14:03,460
and I was just checking that he
wasn't,

344
00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:06,420
so...we're all good.

345
00:14:06,460 --> 00:14:11,400
So, what's, er...what's your position
on the whole euro situation?

346
00:14:18,940 --> 00:14:21,580
Oh, my God. I thought Hans was
actually going to garrotte him.

347
00:14:21,620 --> 00:14:23,540
I know. And then I thought no-one was
going to

348
00:14:23,580 --> 00:14:25,540
challenge that guy on his xenophobic
rant,

349
00:14:25,580 --> 00:14:27,700
but I just had to say it, I couldn't
let it go.

350
00:14:27,740 --> 00:14:29,700
I think it's good how you said it.

351
00:14:29,740 --> 00:14:33,220
I mean, I would have said
it...eventually.

352
00:14:33,260 --> 00:14:36,580
Maybe a bit closer to our
destination.

353
00:14:36,620 --> 00:14:38,100
How much further is it?

354
00:14:38,140 --> 00:14:39,940
Fuck knows. Like, three miles.

355
00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:43,020
Man, Molly's going to shit a
house brick.

356
00:14:43,060 --> 00:14:46,180
Right... I'm running.

357
00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:48,340
No shoes? No, man.

358
00:14:48,380 --> 00:14:51,260
Mother Nature's trainer,
the human foot.

359
00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:52,580
Right, laterz.

360
00:14:52,620 --> 00:14:54,300
Oh, and, er, watch out for wolves.

361
00:14:54,340 --> 00:14:56,420
There are no wolves in East Anglia,
Hans.

362
00:14:56,460 --> 00:14:58,940
Yeah, you keep telling yourself
that, Marko.

363
00:14:58,980 --> 00:15:00,660
Ooh, you fucker!

364
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,340
Oh, God. Five miles?

365
00:15:02,380 --> 00:15:05,020
If it gets too freezing,
we could always sleep in a barn.

366
00:15:05,060 --> 00:15:06,820
'The prospect of spending the night

367
00:15:06,860 --> 00:15:09,180
'huddled in a haystack with Dobby
should be thrilling,

368
00:15:09,220 --> 00:15:12,900
'but all I can think about is my
hotel bed and my pillow chocolate.

369
00:15:12,940 --> 00:15:14,780
'I want my pillow chocolate.

370
00:15:14,820 --> 00:15:17,260
'Oh, no pillow chocolate.

371
00:15:17,300 --> 00:15:19,540
'I don't expect them to actually run
me a bath.

372
00:15:19,580 --> 00:15:21,780
'I simply want to eat some chocolate
off my pillow

373
00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:23,820
'like a normal human being.'

374
00:15:23,860 --> 00:15:25,060
'Could it be Dobby?

375
00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:27,580
'Maybe Gregory's minor headache
was an aneurysm.

376
00:15:27,620 --> 00:15:30,260
'Heh-heh! Naughty but nice.'

377
00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:31,620
Oh.

378
00:15:31,660 --> 00:15:33,540
Hey. I thought you'd be here
tomorrow.

379
00:15:33,580 --> 00:15:35,300
I am actually quite tired, so...

380
00:15:35,340 --> 00:15:38,140
The inevitable Jez.
How's the Dobby mission going?

381
00:15:38,180 --> 00:15:40,420
Disaster. She's got a boyfriend.

382
00:15:40,460 --> 00:15:43,500
She seems a lot happier,
comfier in her own skin.

383
00:15:43,540 --> 00:15:45,100
She's blossomed.

384
00:15:45,140 --> 00:15:46,980
I hate it when that happens.

385
00:15:47,020 --> 00:15:50,660
Yeah, so, um, I know we don't have
that many heart-to-heart chats,

386
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:53,540
but, um, there's something
I need to talk to you about.

387
00:15:53,580 --> 00:15:56,340
Uh-huh.
'I know nothing. Don't pre-empt.'

388
00:15:56,380 --> 00:15:58,140
'Blank face, blank face.'

389
00:15:58,180 --> 00:15:59,460
Look, you're the last person

390
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:02,340
who I would ideally talk to about
this,

391
00:16:02,380 --> 00:16:05,100
but the fact is, this will come as
something of a shock.

392
00:16:05,140 --> 00:16:06,740
'Total surprise.'

393
00:16:06,780 --> 00:16:09,860
Earlier tonight, I had sex with a
man in my bedroom,

394
00:16:09,900 --> 00:16:12,980
and...
I'm...I'm sorry, in your bedroom?

395
00:16:13,020 --> 00:16:14,900
Yeah. And...

396
00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:16,660
I have feelings for this guy Joe,

397
00:16:16,700 --> 00:16:19,380
but I kind of walked out on him
and...

398
00:16:19,420 --> 00:16:22,260
Just to clarify,
you were in...your bedroom?

399
00:16:22,300 --> 00:16:23,740
Yes, Mark.

400
00:16:23,780 --> 00:16:26,220
Anyway, um, as I was saying,
I really like this guy...

401
00:16:26,260 --> 00:16:30,100
Not the kitchen, or-or the living
room, or any other room in the flat?

402
00:16:30,140 --> 00:16:31,660
I'm talking about possibly

403
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:33,980
the biggest thing that's ever
happened in my life

404
00:16:34,020 --> 00:16:36,540
and you're obsessing about...roomal
geography?

405
00:16:36,580 --> 00:16:38,820
No, fine. Go on. I-I-I'm sorry.

406
00:16:38,860 --> 00:16:42,060
I thought I was just totally open,
totally cool,

407
00:16:42,100 --> 00:16:44,460
but now I wonder if

408
00:16:44,500 --> 00:16:48,500
inside, I don't have
some shame or confusion

409
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,620
deep in there.
Uh-huh, I get it, mate.

410
00:16:51,660 --> 00:16:55,660
And-And what, out-out of interest,
was the temperature like in the room

411
00:16:56,100 --> 00:16:58,860
when...when you were...doing it?
Normal,

412
00:16:58,900 --> 00:17:01,060
unheated, regular air temperature.

413
00:17:02,580 --> 00:17:04,980
Hey, Mark, Gregory forgot his
toothbrush. Oh, hey, Jez.

414
00:17:05,020 --> 00:17:07,860
Hey, Dobs.
Sorry, am I interrupting?

415
00:17:07,900 --> 00:17:11,900
I'll-I'll leave you two to... Sorry.

416
00:17:12,700 --> 00:17:14,300
Good luck!

417
00:17:14,340 --> 00:17:15,900
Dobby, are you all right?

418
00:17:15,940 --> 00:17:17,540
Sorry, it's just...

419
00:17:17,580 --> 00:17:20,140
I know something about you
which I shouldn't really know,

420
00:17:20,180 --> 00:17:22,020
but I do know, but it's not my
fault.

421
00:17:22,060 --> 00:17:25,460
Anyway, really great, Jez,
everything, bye.

422
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:27,140
Did you...

423
00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:28,700
Do you...know?

424
00:17:28,740 --> 00:17:30,620
Look, I'm sorry, Jez, but I've...

425
00:17:30,660 --> 00:17:32,980
I've got a webcam in my bedroom.

426
00:17:33,020 --> 00:17:35,700
Oh, my God! You watched me...?

427
00:17:35,740 --> 00:17:38,140
I saw the whole thing
and so did Dobby.

428
00:17:39,460 --> 00:17:43,460
Hey, Mark, Dobs forgot the charger.
Can I grab it?

429
00:17:43,860 --> 00:17:46,420
Oh. Wow, you must be Jeremy.

430
00:17:46,460 --> 00:17:48,060
Yes. How do you...

431
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:50,660
I, er...must have seen you
before...

432
00:17:50,700 --> 00:17:52,620
around.

433
00:17:52,660 --> 00:17:54,140
See you later.

434
00:17:54,180 --> 00:17:55,940
Him as well?

435
00:17:55,980 --> 00:17:58,660
You chose to go into my bedroom.
You...you filmed yourself.

436
00:17:58,700 --> 00:18:00,020
I didn't know your room

437
00:18:00,060 --> 00:18:01,980
was bristling with surveillance
equipment.

438
00:18:03,580 --> 00:18:05,940
All right, Jez?
Hans.

439
00:18:05,980 --> 00:18:08,660
So, er, it's all cool with Molly.

440
00:18:08,700 --> 00:18:12,700
Look, I just wanted to say
about tonight, um...sorry...

441
00:18:12,900 --> 00:18:14,060
about the garrotting.

442
00:18:14,100 --> 00:18:16,740
I fucked up a nice lift home
for us there and, er,

443
00:18:16,780 --> 00:18:18,620
well, you didn't break my nuts
about it.

444
00:18:18,660 --> 00:18:20,820
That's what real mates do.
They, er...

445
00:18:20,860 --> 00:18:23,460
they take a pounding,
but they still come up smiling.

446
00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:26,140
Bit like Jez with that bloke
in your bed.

447
00:18:26,180 --> 00:18:28,940
God, has the entire world
seen this fucking video?

448
00:18:28,980 --> 00:18:32,020
I came here to talk to someone about
this, get some perspective.

449
00:18:32,060 --> 00:18:34,580
Turns out I can just read
the fucking YouTube comments.

450
00:18:34,620 --> 00:18:38,620
Yeah. They might be good comments.

451
00:18:43,220 --> 00:18:45,220
Good afternoon.
My name's Katie Mitchell...

452
00:18:45,260 --> 00:18:48,100
'First mistake -
no bouncers at the wedding. I'm in.

453
00:18:48,140 --> 00:18:49,380
'Plus, the great thing is,

454
00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:52,980
'I've escaped the strong, comforting
arms of the sexy, affectionate man.'

455
00:18:53,020 --> 00:18:55,220
...to conduct this ceremony
for them today.

456
00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:56,820
So, it's my great pleasure...

457
00:18:56,860 --> 00:18:59,020
Gregory sure loves
his phone.

458
00:18:59,060 --> 00:19:02,100
'Looking at his phone and she loves
it. I could look at my phone.

459
00:19:02,140 --> 00:19:03,900
'We all want to look at our phones.'

460
00:19:03,940 --> 00:19:07,940
They will now recite the vows
they have written together.

461
00:19:08,900 --> 00:19:12,220
I will not fail nor falter.

462
00:19:12,260 --> 00:19:16,260
I shall succeed.
My perception is altered.

463
00:19:16,340 --> 00:19:17,740
I do believe.

464
00:19:17,780 --> 00:19:19,820
Faith is so strong now.

465
00:19:19,860 --> 00:19:21,780
Nothing shall bar my way.

466
00:19:21,820 --> 00:19:25,060
From conviction, no fiction.

467
00:19:25,100 --> 00:19:27,220
This is my day.

468
00:19:27,260 --> 00:19:30,620
I can move, move, move any mountain.

469
00:19:30,660 --> 00:19:33,300
I can move, move, move any mountain.

470
00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:37,340
I can move, move, move
any mountain.

471
00:19:37,980 --> 00:19:40,140
- Simon?
- 'Simon?

472
00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:42,260
'Super Simon? Simon Hans?'

473
00:19:42,300 --> 00:19:44,460
...and into my heart.

474
00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:46,940
You are the best of men.

475
00:19:46,980 --> 00:19:50,500
The truest, kindest, most generous
of men.

476
00:19:50,540 --> 00:19:53,500
'I think he might be
the opposite of all those words.'

477
00:19:53,540 --> 00:19:55,460
I'm getting married.

478
00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:57,940
And I would punch in the throat
anyone who tried to stop me.

479
00:19:57,980 --> 00:20:01,260
That is how I feel today, Molly.

480
00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:02,980
So suffused with love,

481
00:20:03,020 --> 00:20:05,420
I'd put a glass in the face of
anyone

482
00:20:05,460 --> 00:20:08,500
who tried to stop us joining our
souls together.

483
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:12,540
I'd hospitalise them.

484
00:20:15,940 --> 00:20:17,340
Hear, hear.

485
00:20:17,380 --> 00:20:21,380
The bride and groom!

486
00:20:22,300 --> 00:20:25,380
'Mention the seven years
working in Richer Sounds in Kew,

487
00:20:25,420 --> 00:20:27,140
'miss out the Thai jail,

488
00:20:27,180 --> 00:20:29,060
'on to the bands, drop the first
marriage,

489
00:20:29,100 --> 00:20:31,260
'hit Jeremy and their long
friendship,

490
00:20:31,300 --> 00:20:34,940
'minus all the bad blood and occasional
sucking each other off, blah, blah.

491
00:20:34,980 --> 00:20:38,660
'Wrap up with a toast to the bride
and groom, Hans, or possibly Simon,

492
00:20:38,700 --> 00:20:41,660
'and his wife, whose Christian name
I've unfortunately forgotten.

493
00:20:41,700 --> 00:20:44,780
'Shit! I don't really know either of
their names.

494
00:20:44,820 --> 00:20:48,660
'There's Dobby. She doesn't like
pasanda and quality TV drama.

495
00:20:48,700 --> 00:20:51,860
'She likes hitchhiking
and terrifying actual drama.

496
00:20:51,900 --> 00:20:53,980
'We don't fit. Oh, my God!

497
00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:58,020
'I'm letting go. I've crossed the
bridge into adulthood. I'm moving on.

498
00:20:58,380 --> 00:21:01,380
'I'm going to delete her off my GPS.

499
00:21:01,420 --> 00:21:03,940
'Weird. It looks like
she's right behind me.

500
00:21:03,980 --> 00:21:05,660
'Fuck! What the...'

501
00:21:05,700 --> 00:21:07,820
Oof! I know you're stalking Dobby.

502
00:21:07,860 --> 00:21:10,540
I tracked your IP address.
You still love her.

503
00:21:10,580 --> 00:21:13,540
Gregory, believe me, I don't.
I'm not. I've stopped.

504
00:21:13,580 --> 00:21:15,660
When? Literally just now.

505
00:21:15,700 --> 00:21:17,700
I was just about to delete her off
my phone.

506
00:21:17,740 --> 00:21:19,140
You douchebag!

507
00:21:19,180 --> 00:21:21,380
I promise you, I don't like
her any more.

508
00:21:21,420 --> 00:21:23,860
She always saying exactly what she's
thinking,

509
00:21:23,900 --> 00:21:26,180
with no regards for
the consequences

510
00:21:26,220 --> 00:21:29,140
and she's got weird hair,
and she smokes.

511
00:21:29,180 --> 00:21:32,580
Ah, please don't punch me.
I wish you both well.

512
00:21:32,620 --> 00:21:36,620
I wish you both well!

513
00:21:36,820 --> 00:21:39,180
Um... Excuse me, ladies and gents.

514
00:21:39,220 --> 00:21:41,660
Excuse me. Oi!

515
00:21:41,700 --> 00:21:45,700
Sorry, hi. Er, I'm afraid the, er,
the best man, er, has gone AWOL.

516
00:21:46,460 --> 00:21:48,060
Um, but don't worry.

517
00:21:48,100 --> 00:21:52,100
Just eat some cheese
and I'll get it sorted.

518
00:21:53,260 --> 00:21:54,780
Jez, Jez.

519
00:21:54,820 --> 00:21:56,060
Um, would you...

520
00:21:56,100 --> 00:21:58,420
But I've got nothing prepared.
That's all right.

521
00:21:58,460 --> 00:22:00,620
Just freestyle it, man, yeah?

522
00:22:00,660 --> 00:22:03,140
But don't, er... Obviously,
don't rap.

523
00:22:03,180 --> 00:22:07,180
Remember? After Stoke?
You never rap.

524
00:22:12,460 --> 00:22:14,140
Hans...

525
00:22:14,180 --> 00:22:16,180
Super Hans...

526
00:22:16,220 --> 00:22:18,860
I've known Hans for many a year now.

527
00:22:18,900 --> 00:22:22,900
It's been a long road and now,
as you've found Molly,

528
00:22:23,980 --> 00:22:25,780
er, and...

529
00:22:25,820 --> 00:22:28,820
I don't really want to get into
this, but I've started it now,

530
00:22:28,860 --> 00:22:31,220
but I'm going to bring it round,
so don't worry.

531
00:22:31,260 --> 00:22:35,260
People said Molly wasn't right for
you. That she was a downer.

532
00:22:36,620 --> 00:22:40,620
But you know what? If someone
loves someone, he just...loves them.

533
00:22:41,500 --> 00:22:45,500
And if that person
is considered to be a downer,

534
00:22:45,820 --> 00:22:49,820
or even a yawn-a-thon, who cares?

535
00:22:50,060 --> 00:22:54,060
And even if someone loves another
man...or...

536
00:22:54,460 --> 00:22:56,140
What's in a name?

537
00:22:56,180 --> 00:22:58,020
Or gender?

538
00:22:58,060 --> 00:23:01,700
Is it possible to love two people at
once? Three?

539
00:23:01,740 --> 00:23:04,500
Four is surely the limit.

540
00:23:04,540 --> 00:23:06,100
But is it?

541
00:23:06,140 --> 00:23:08,580
What is love anyway? Is it, er...

542
00:23:08,620 --> 00:23:11,220
an act or a feeling...

543
00:23:11,260 --> 00:23:13,460
or... Who am I to speak?

544
00:23:13,500 --> 00:23:15,660
Who are you to listen?

545
00:23:15,700 --> 00:23:17,980
Why is a marriage a marriage?

546
00:23:18,020 --> 00:23:22,020
But society says it's wrong
for two men to love one another

547
00:23:22,540 --> 00:23:24,540
even though...

548
00:23:24,580 --> 00:23:28,220
now it says it says
that now it's OK?

549
00:23:28,260 --> 00:23:32,260
Is it OK because society says it's
OK? What next?

550
00:23:32,460 --> 00:23:34,620
Dogs getting married?

551
00:23:34,660 --> 00:23:36,660
Could I marry my own son?

552
00:23:36,700 --> 00:23:38,300
No.

553
00:23:38,340 --> 00:23:40,380
Possibly not?

554
00:23:40,420 --> 00:23:42,140
Correct.

555
00:23:42,180 --> 00:23:44,460
Or is it? What I'm trying to say

556
00:23:44,500 --> 00:23:48,260
is that people should do
whatever they want to do

557
00:23:48,300 --> 00:23:52,060
at a temperature that suits them
within limits.

558
00:23:52,100 --> 00:23:53,940
Thank you.

559
00:23:53,980 --> 00:23:57,140
'Pretty sure someone's going to print
that speech on a tea towel someday.

560
00:23:57,180 --> 00:23:59,300
'Yeah! Eat that, Obama.

561
00:23:59,340 --> 00:24:01,500
'Fuck off, Mandela. Take that, Mark.

562
00:24:01,540 --> 00:24:05,540
'I'm the best man. I'm the best man
who ever lived.'