Ripped By mstoll
Mom, didn't they say it was gonna take five hours?
Yeah.
Well, it's way after that now.
I mean, they're almost an hour late.
Hey, hey, hey, don't worry, Mrs. Keaton.
You know, that's how it goes with this stuff, huh?
You know, maybe these guys are like mechanics...
they're just shooting for a little overtime.
Mal...
can you, uh, can you check my pulse, please?
Your pulse?
Yeah, you heard what the woman said.
It's running very fast... I'd just like you to check it.
Okay, what do I do?
Just put your finger right there and count.
Telephone, please, Dr. Klein.
How high?
It gets into double figures. Forget it.
I'll take my own pulse.
I haven't got a pulse.
This is unbelievable.
Before I had too much; now I have none.
Report to Obstetrics, please.
Dr. Warner wanted in Radiology, please.
Is everything okay, Ruth? H-How is Tony?
He seemed fine.
I mean, his spirits are up and he's very alert,
but they decided to move him back into the I.C.U. Anyway.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, I think that's just the way these things go.
You know, two steps forward, one step back.
I'm going down for a snack.
Would anybody like anything?
I'm coming with you, Mr. Meyers.
Okay. We'll see you folks later.
- Alex? - Yeah? Yeah, what's up?
It's taking so long.
I'm getting really worried.
I mean, what if something...
happens to Dad?
I love him so much, I don't think I could...
I could stand him...
being not there.
Look, Mal...
Dad...
is not gonna be...
not being there.
Okay?
Me...
I have no pulse.
I may die.
But Dad, Dad...
Dad's not gonna die, okay?
Dad... Dad is gonna be fine, definitely.
You're not worried?
Yeah.
Mal, yeah, I'm worried.
I'm very worried.
I'm worried about me.
Look, Mal, it's all about heredity, okay?
When you consider the gene pool that we come from...
I got so much.
I mean...
when they were handing out the genes,
I must've been a special order or something.
Well, let's face it, Mal, I got it all.
Including the "raving egomaniac" gene.
Yes, that.
But I also... I also got...
and this is what's making my pulse unfindable, Mal...
maybe... I also got the "bum ticker" gene.
Huh?
The "bad heart" one.
The-the-the "malo corazón" gene.
Uh, I don't think so, Alex.
Really? Why not?
'Cause I think you're gonna be around
for a very long time so you can drive me nuts
for the rest of my life.
Oh, God, Mally, I hope so.
Dr. Seidelman, line one, please.
- Hi. - Hi. Hi. - Hi.
Lauren, thanks for picking up the kids.
Of course. How's Mr. Keaton?
We haven't heard anything for a long while.
They're, they're still in surgery.
W-We'll hear something soon.
You okay?
Alex got him going, and now he thinks
he's gonna have a heart attack.
I can't feel my pulse.
Shake.
Come sit with your mommy. I'm still sane.
Is there anything I can do?
Yeah. Yeah, there is.
There is.
Lauren, I need psychiatric treatment.
Hallelujah, Alex... it's about time you saw the light.
Um... Alex, here.
- Take this. - Yeah, good.
Make yourself comfortable...
- Good... and let me see if I understand this.
- All right. - Okay, despite your father's condition,
you seem to be more preoccupied with your own...
imaginary and highly neurotic worries.
Yes.
So what do you think? Is there any hope?
Alex, do you think maybe you really are
very worried about your father and that you're hiding
behind those feelings, unable to admit them?
Me?
Nah.
Tigers eight, Padres four
in this fifth game of the '84 World Series.
The Tigers lead three games to one.
Matter of fact, folks, it sure looks like
the San Diego club will shortly be packing their bags
and heading for the beach.
- Hey! Go to the beach! - Hey, take your water wings!
- Go clamming, you bums! - Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Go clamming! - Nose plugs!
You California sissies! You run up against
some real Midwestern men, see what happens.
Dad, Dad, Dad, are we not two unbelievably brilliant
and clairvoyant touting maniacs?
Did I not tell you Tigers in five?
You did, and did I not tell you Tigers in five?
You did. I did.
You did. We done do'ed.
- Whoa! - Okay!
Boy, does it get any...
any better than this, Alex?
Ah, the women of our clan
off in some distant, airtight mall.
Our little baby boy fast asleep upstairs.
And us... the two Keaton hombres.
Sitting here watching the October Classic,
smashing hot dogs into our faces.
What was the question, Dad?
How about another dog-aroni?
Arf, arf, Dad. Arf, arf.
I'll get 'em if you want.
No, no, stay here, I'll get it. Extra mustard, extra relish?
Extra everything. I'm celebrating.
Boy, this really brings back memories.
Me as a kid watching the Yanks in the Series...
acting out every move.
Hey! Hodges digs in.
Larsen delivers.
- Whoa! - And it's
a long fly ball to deep left center!
Mantle goes back...
back... back...
...breaks the lamp
but makes a spectacular one-handed catch.
Boy, will his mom be mad.
I'll get the broom.
I'll get it!
Got it!
Good.
Gwynn steps in. Here's the pitch.
Big, sweeping curveball, strike one!
The Tigers two strikes away
from the championship!
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
Here's the one-one pitch.
Swing and a miss, strike two!
Gwynn was way ahead of that one!
We're one pitch away now!
Yay! Go back to SeaWorld, Padres!
Shamu's waiting for you.
Hernandez toeing the rubber.
Around comes the left arm.
Here's the pitch.
Gwynn lifts a high fly to left!
This could be it, ladies and gentlemen!
Herndon's under it... and makes the catch!
The Tigers win!
- Yes! Yes! Tigers win! - The Tigers win the Series!
Yes! Hey...
Dad, cheer up. Game's over.
Your team won.
That was Rob on the phone.
My father died.
He, um...
He said he went real fast.
It was his heart.
He was...
gone before he got to the hospital.
He was a good man, Dad.
He was a very good man.
And now... and he led a-a full life, you know?
He had... two beautiful sons and a loving wife.
He was a good provider.
I mean, he worked hard, did the work of two men.
Three men.
And yet he was with you, you know,
every step of the way, guiding you,
until you were ready to go out in-into the world
and-and start your own family, which you did.
But time, as we know, marches on...
Alex, stop.
And your mother, you know, I'm sure she's gonna receive
a handsome insurance settlement.
Not to mention the house, which if my sense
of the Buffalo real estate market is accurate...
and, you know, I have no reason to believe that it's not...
Alex... stop.
What, what are you doing?
I got to keep talking, Dad, because I'm afraid
that if I stop talking, I'm gonna start...
I'm gonna start crying.
Alex, my father died.
Your grandfather.
You can cry.
We loved him very much.
Uh... you can grieve.
Don't hide from your feelings, Alex.
Your grandpa died.
You can cry.
Grandpa...
I'm very worried about my dad.
Well, it's nice to know you're actually human, Alex.
Let's not go jumping to conclusions, Mallory.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
come on, now, let's not be picking on Alex, huh?
He's made a psychological breakthrough here,
and one can be quite vulnerable at such a time.
Uh, am I right, Doc?
Yes, you are, Nick.
How did you know that?
Well, I read Cosmo.
And one can simply see it by looking at him,
that he is extremely vulnerable.
He is... and he's very sweet and really adorable.
I love him very much.
Do you hear that?
Yes, and I'm glad we're in a hospital.
Everyone, stop being mean to Alex.
There'll be plenty of time for that at home.
Let's everybody just... sit quietly and wait.
Tony's been so happy these last few months
since our youngest son Martin left home.
Try to tell myself it's a coincidence.
You know, we decided to travel all over the world.
We never expected to travel to the hospital.
But like Tony said, at least they didn't lose our luggage.
That was Skippy.
He, uh, sends his love,
and he, uh, he's gonna try to make it over a little later.
He's a sweetheart.
You know, he said he has this uncle, his Uncle Morris.
The guy had a triple bypass, and he just ran a marathon.
Oh, that's absolutely true.
I mean, I don't know his uncle,
but you can do anything with a good bypass.
It's no big deal these days.
Now, a neighbor of mine...
her husband had to have a new valve put into his heart.
- Now, that was major. - Ooh.
Yeah. I know where you're coming from.
I had to do a valve job on my bike.
Mrs. Hobart?
May I talk to you, please?
Is he all right?
No. Oh.
Oh. Oh.
- Oh, Ruth. - Oh.
Well, I-I-I guess this is good-bye.
I-I want to th-thank y-you all...
I can't believe this has happened.
If there's anything we can do...
I'll be okay. I will really.
And so will Steven, I know it.
Well, we... we have your number.
Here-here is ours,
and if there's anything we can do, please call us.
Thank you.
Things were going so well for her husband.
You know? You-you heard her.
They-they moved him into his own room.
How-how could something like this happen?
Hey, Mom, you know, just take it easy, okay?
I mean, I-I don't understand.
One minute you're on the road to recovery,
and the next minute you're dead.
I mean, either they don't know what they're doing here,
- or someone's lying! - Hey, Mom, Mom.
Hey, look, m-my husband Steven Keaton's being operated on.
I-I want to know what's going on.
Oh, I'm sorry. You'll have to check with the duty nurse.
I really don't know.
Well, how long does an operation take?!
I mean, God, it's the first one they've ever done?!
- No, come on. - What is going?
Mom, stop it. Take it easy. Come on.
I'm sorry.
I-I'm just going nuts, I guess.
We all are. Just...
Mom, Dad's gonna be okay.
Everything's gonna be fine.
You know when you know something
with an absolute certainty sometimes?
I mean, that's the feeling I get about Dad.
Everything's gonna be fine.
Do you believe me?
Yeah. I do. I-I do.
I mean, I can... I can see him
in the kitchen, like, a week from now.
And he'll come down, and...
and he'll say,
"Who didn't put the top back on the ketchup last night?
Was it you, Mallory?"
And I'll say, "No, it wasn't me, Dad.
It was... it was Jennifer, it was Alex."
And Alex'll say, "It was you, Mallory.
You never, ever put the top on anything."
Dad'll say, "So it was you, Mallory.
"How could you?
Do you think ketchup grows on trees?"
And Mallory will have to think about that.
I-I'm thinking about it.
Yeah, uh, you see, tomatoes definitely do grow on vines.
But most of the spices
that we do find in ketchup do grow on trees,
so I would have to say yes.
Everything's gonna be fine, Mom.
Dad's gonna be okay. Trust me.
Thank you.
Oh, honey, you've been wonderful.
You guys have been so supportive.
Hey, I found my pulse!
Oh, great.
He finds his pulse.
He's a kid. He doesn't even need one.
- Alex? - It's got to be here
somewhere.
Oh, forget about your pulse.
Oh, that's-that's a nice thing for a mother to say.
I want to talk to you.
Yeah, what's up?
I want to talk to you about...
...what we're gonna do if he doesn't make it.
Oh, hey, Mom...
Come on, don't talk like that, okay?
I mean, he's-he's gonna make it.
Yeah, I-I believe that, I really do.
But we have to think about
what we're gonna do if he doesn't.
No.
No, no. I don't even see why we're discussing this, Mom.
Because I am the mother of this family!
I have a six-year-old boy over there,
and if this does happen, I will lose my mind,
and I'm gonna turn to you.
Hey, uh, guys, you want to come down to the cafeteria with us?
Gonna get a milkshake.
Celebrate Andy finding his pulse.
No, thank you. You go on.
We're gonna stay up here.
Okay.
Paging Dr. Robinson.
Please call Surgery... 3144.
I-I, uh...
I-I don't think you have any concept
of what your dad and I mean to each other.
Um...
How close we are, uh...
how much we love each other.
Mom.
I don't think you can live in our house and not know that.
If I lost him...
...I don't know what I'd be like. I...
I don't know what I'd do.
- Okay, Mom. - I don't know.
- Mom, Mom. - I don't know.
I've depended on you...
...for 22 years.
And if you have to lean on me a little bit now, I'm ready.
I love you so much.
There's no way that I'm not gonna be there for you
and I'm gonna let you go through this alone.
You're my mommy.
Come on, Alex. Say "Mommy."
Say "Mommy." Mommy.
Money.
Oh, that's it.
Very good.
Oh, you're such a smart boy.
Right. Mommy.
Money.
Very good.
Right.
Money. Money. Money.
- Hi. - Hi, Steven.
- Mmm. - Mmm.
The airport is shut down tight, Elyse.
Talk about solid water.
There's no way my parents are getting in tonight.
They're not.
Your brother Rob called.
Their flight was diverted to Denver.
How's my dad?
He's doing fine.
Your brother's keeping a close eye on him.
Evidently he won't actually admit he had a heart attack.
What do you mean, he won't admit it?
He had surgery.
Well, he says they made a mistake.
It was his appendix.
He's a tough guy, my dad.
Anyway, they're going to spend the night,
and they'll try to get in tomorrow.
I guess this Thanksgiving is between you and me.
Money.
Oh, Steven, you're not gonna believe this.
- What's that? - Alex said "Mommy."
Really? Good for you, Alex.
Come on, Alex, say "Mommy."
Money.
That's "money," Elyse.
He's been saying that for weeks.
Are you sure?
It sounds like "Mommy" to me.
It's not.
Alex, say "Daddy."
Money.
This kid's gonna be rich, Elyse.
Either that, or he's going to make us very poor.
Money.
Money, money.
Money, money, money.
Okay. Okay, okay.
Ah!
God, I'm a lucky guy.
- You are. - I am.
I have so much to be thankful for this year.
My dad's alive, I have you, I have...
this spectacular, money-loving baby.
So thankful.
You know, when Dad gets home,
things aren't gonna be the same.
He's gonna be in a weakened state,
and we're gonna have to do everything we can
to try not to annoy him or upset him.
Yeah, that means no loud music, Jen.
Or no arguing, Mal.
No Nick, Nick.
Wait a minute, Alex. If Nick goes, I go.
Yeah? So what?
So, what's everyone talking about, huh?
Well, we're talking about how things are gonna have
to change when Dad gets home.
I don't think things have to change all that much.
So I, uh, guess that means I can stay in town, huh?
Well, let's see what the doctors say.
Mrs. Keaton?
- Hey. - I just wanted to give you an update on the surgery.
Yeah, what's going on? What's taking so long?
What's happening with my dad?
Well, it is taking longer than we expected.
Well, why is that? Please, can you now tell us
what's happening in there?
Dr. Harrison has decided
that Mr. Keaton is in need of a quadruple bypass.
- Oh, my God. - What?!
Dr. Harrison and his team are the best.
What? Oh...
They've run into this kind of unexpected problem before,
and they know what needs to be done.
I know how hard this is,
but there's really nothing you can do now but wait.
I promise I'll keep you posted.
- I... - All right, Mom, sit down.
Oh, hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey, come on. Come on, let's go, you guys.
He's gonna be fine... Mr. Keaton.
Lap sponge. We have some bleeding here.
He's a fighter, you know that.
- His pressure is 55. - Clamp.
What they can do now is incredible.
I need a one-millimeter probe, please.
Modern science is a miracle, huh?
I need some traction here.
It's gonna work out, I'm telling you.
Ripped By mstoll
Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.