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sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
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[instrumental holiday music playing]
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[wind blowing]
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[siren wailing]
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[man 1] Look at the stash
this Fitzsimmons kid had.
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[man 2] Lucky bastard.
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I had to jerk off to the
Indian girl on the butter box.
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[man 3] We won't be
taking any legal action.
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00:00:32,750 --> 00:00:35,461
He said it was an accident,
and I'm inclined to believe him.
10
00:00:35,544 --> 00:00:38,923
He seems like a good boy,
unlike your other son.
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Thank you, sir.
You hear that, you jackals?
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The man with the badge said it.
13
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This five-alarm fire
was not the boy's fault!
14
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The witch hunt is over!
My son is innocent!
15
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What the fuck did you
do, you pyromaniac?!
16
00:00:51,978 --> 00:00:53,354
It was an accident!
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00:00:53,437 --> 00:00:56,398
An accident is clipping a guy
changing his tire on the interstate
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00:00:56,482 --> 00:00:59,068
who was wearing dark clothes
and he didn't light a flare.
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Then it turns out he's a cop, so
it'll be his word against yours,
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and who do you think the
judge is gonna believe? Huh?
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So you keep going,
and you get your fender
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painted in a different
state. That is an accident!
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00:01:08,410 --> 00:01:10,141
OK! I wanted to prove you were wrong
24
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- when you called me a little pussy.
- I... I never said that!
25
00:01:13,791 --> 00:01:15,335
How did he hear you say that?
26
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I can't find the dog anywhere!
27
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I think he ran away when
the fireworks exploded!
28
00:01:20,215 --> 00:01:22,591
Ah, Jesus. Oh, no, buddy...
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00:01:22,675 --> 00:01:26,679
Oh, so help me God, if I
started building walls today
30
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and didn't stop for the next ten years,
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there still wouldn't be enough of them
32
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- to fucking put you through!
- Hang on, hang on, hang on.
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00:01:32,643 --> 00:01:35,395
We're all forgetting
something very important.
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I am now the good son.
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Deal with it. [slurps]
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Hey, make yourself useful.
Go light your brother's cape on fire.
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[up-tempo song playing]
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[grunts, screams]
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1x06 - "Holy Moly Night"
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[Frank] Rosie, you have
every reason to be mad at me.
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00:02:38,167 --> 00:02:39,501
But we're down to the wire now.
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00:02:39,585 --> 00:02:42,922
We both know if you guys strike at
midnight, the airline will not survive.
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Dad, keep it down. I can't
concentrate on my drawing.
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[softly] Shut up.
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Pogo is presenting my
proposal to Dunbarton.
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If you can get your guys behind it,
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we can avert the strike
and save all our jobs.
48
00:02:53,015 --> 00:02:55,184
You happy now? I just
gave the dog two dicks.
49
00:02:55,268 --> 00:02:57,437
Now someone's gonna bring
us a double-dicked dog!
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[giggling]
[softly] Hey!
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00:02:58,646 --> 00:03:00,231
Don't talk like that
in front of your sister.
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Ow! I'm outta here anyway.
I have a job to go to.
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Because now I'm the responsible son!
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00:03:06,528 --> 00:03:08,656
Oh, shit, I'm an hour late.
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00:03:09,573 --> 00:03:12,118
Thanks, Rosie. That means a lot.
I'll see you there.
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00:03:13,202 --> 00:03:16,247
[hums indistinctly]
'Tis the day before Christmas!
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00:03:16,686 --> 00:03:19,875
Mwah.
I'm so excited. And late.
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00:03:19,959 --> 00:03:21,336
- It's OK, Sue.
- No.
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I admit, I've got some catching
up to do as far as the decorating.
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It's only natural. You've
been busy working your job.
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Which I am 100 percent behind.
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I know you are. I just got
a late start, that's all.
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I'll have us ready for our
Christmas party tonight.
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00:03:32,554 --> 00:03:35,599
Honey, I really wish I could help you,
but Dunbarton called a meeting.
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00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:37,518
It sounds like they're
gonna go for my proposal.
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- That's great.
- Yeah!
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I think we can wrap this
up in the next few hours.
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It's fine, I can get it done.
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00:03:42,815 --> 00:03:44,650
Honey, we don't have to
do the party this year.
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00:03:44,733 --> 00:03:47,278
Are you kidding me? This year
is more important than ever.
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00:03:47,362 --> 00:03:49,822
We have some fence-mending to
do around this neighborhood.
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00:03:49,905 --> 00:03:51,866
Speaking of which, the
Petersen's fence burned down.
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00:03:51,949 --> 00:03:53,075
Fucking Bill.
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00:03:54,118 --> 00:03:56,412
What time does Emperor Nero
have to be at church?
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00:03:56,496 --> 00:03:57,663
Father Pat said 11:30.
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00:03:57,746 --> 00:04:00,582
Well, he's gonna get there an
hour early. I got shit to do.
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00:04:00,666 --> 00:04:02,502
[yells] Hey, Bill! Let's go!
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00:04:02,584 --> 00:04:04,420
[holiday music playing]
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00:04:04,504 --> 00:04:06,547
Hey, keep this guy away
from the punch bowl.
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00:04:06,630 --> 00:04:08,966
Last year he tried to jump off the roof.
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00:04:09,050 --> 00:04:09,925
Hey, Frank!
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00:04:10,009 --> 00:04:12,887
Great. Get in the car and don't
touch the cigarette lighter.
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00:04:12,970 --> 00:04:15,473
Frankie, I'm having
an outta-sight wing-ding later.
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00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:20,019
Love it if you and Suzie-Q could come.
Forecast calls for "snow."
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00:04:20,102 --> 00:04:22,522
Really?
Goddamn it, I just shoveled.
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00:04:22,604 --> 00:04:25,316
The invite stands!
It's gonna be a blast.
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00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:27,318
Hot cider, ice skating.
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Some of my dwarf buddies
are coming, they're wild.
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00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:32,948
I saw one eat a two-pound steak once!
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00:04:37,036 --> 00:04:40,998
- Here we are, in you go.
- Why do I have to be an altar boy?
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00:04:41,082 --> 00:04:44,001
Ah, 'cause church will set you
straight. It's good for you.
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00:04:44,085 --> 00:04:45,336
Then how come you never go?
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00:04:45,420 --> 00:04:48,256
Because I already heard
those stories a hundred times.
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00:04:48,339 --> 00:04:51,384
Look, if Jesus comes back and
he does some more magical shit,
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I'll come down and listen to that.
Now get in there.
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Stay away from the candles!
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[organ music playing]
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[clattering]
Jesus!
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00:05:15,032 --> 00:05:17,452
Jesus! Sorry, Lord.
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- [man] That's OK, no biggie.
- What the fuck?
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00:05:19,828 --> 00:05:23,269
I'm just pulling your leg.
By the way, that's two Hail Marys
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for the F-word or you're going to hell.
103
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I'm Father Pat.
Welcome to the flock.
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You'll be under the guidance
of our head altar boy.
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00:05:30,965 --> 00:05:33,926
James!
Would you show Bill the ropes?
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00:05:34,009 --> 00:05:37,513
Sure thing, Father. I'll show
him the shit outta the ropes.
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00:05:37,597 --> 00:05:39,848
[ominous organ music plays]
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Major!
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- You see him, Kenny?
- Nope.
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Just tree candy.
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00:05:55,156 --> 00:05:57,908
He's not gonna be in a
tree hole, idiot! [grunts]
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00:05:57,992 --> 00:06:01,078
Well, I'm not thinking
straight. My diaper's froze.
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00:06:01,745 --> 00:06:04,248
I'm sorry. Let's keep looking.
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00:06:04,332 --> 00:06:06,959
If you'd been outside for
two days straight with no food
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00:06:07,042 --> 00:06:09,669
and you were tired and cold,
where would you go?
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00:06:09,753 --> 00:06:12,923
I've been outside for
two days with no food.
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I'm going home!
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[growls]
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Mr. Dunbarton. It's really
good to see you again.
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00:06:21,098 --> 00:06:24,726
Frank Murphy. Pogo told
me about your proposal.
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It's smart. Real smart.
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00:06:26,521 --> 00:06:28,648
- You've made me proud, Frank.
- Thank you, sir.
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00:06:28,730 --> 00:06:29,565
[car door slams]
124
00:06:30,566 --> 00:06:33,319
My shop steward tells me we have a deal?
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00:06:33,402 --> 00:06:36,738
Yes. If you accept the smaller
cost of living increase,
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00:06:36,822 --> 00:06:40,159
- we won't cut any union jobs.
- We can live with that.
127
00:06:40,242 --> 00:06:43,745
Fine. Let's draw the contracts
up and get this over with.
128
00:06:43,829 --> 00:06:45,831
And not a minute too soon.
129
00:06:45,914 --> 00:06:50,002
I'm due back in Indiana.
Gotta be in Gary by midnight.
130
00:06:50,085 --> 00:06:53,839
Well, I want to be in Brandy
by midnight. [chortling]
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[giggles] I'm Brandy!
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And I'm Gary!
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[man] Tonight at eight, it's
A Bing Crosby Family Christmas,
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00:07:02,264 --> 00:07:03,849
with Bing and his sons!
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00:07:03,932 --> 00:07:06,101
- # Pah rum pum pum #
- Please stop, Daddy.
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00:07:06,185 --> 00:07:07,630
And Bing's special guests,
137
00:07:07,673 --> 00:07:11,857
Rich Little and TV's
Colt Luger, Reid Harrison!
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00:07:11,940 --> 00:07:16,028
Sometimes a snowman's gotta do
what a snowman does.
139
00:07:16,111 --> 00:07:18,489
[audience laughs]
I'm not a crook!
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00:07:19,823 --> 00:07:21,909
[gunshot]
[sighs]
141
00:07:21,992 --> 00:07:23,244
One more down.
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00:07:23,327 --> 00:07:26,914
Oh! Oh! Oh...
[yells] Son of a bitch!
143
00:07:26,997 --> 00:07:30,000
Hey, Sue. Bite off
more than you can chew?
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00:07:31,179 --> 00:07:33,764
Yeah, thanks a lot, kid.
Merry Christmas!
145
00:07:33,848 --> 00:07:36,267
- It's customary to tip.
- Oh, fuck that.
146
00:07:38,186 --> 00:07:40,688
Well, that's it.
Another year of selling marked-up
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00:07:40,689 --> 00:07:42,064
trees to hard-working idiots.
148
00:07:43,358 --> 00:07:48,154
- So, I guess this is where you pay me?
- Oh, no, no, no, you're not done.
149
00:07:48,237 --> 00:07:51,449
You don't get paid
till all the trees are sold.
150
00:07:51,532 --> 00:07:53,368
Hey, Doreen, want to come with me?
151
00:07:53,451 --> 00:07:55,786
I gotta go meet the folks
from Guinness Book of Records.
152
00:07:55,870 --> 00:07:57,163
It's just a formality.
153
00:07:57,246 --> 00:07:59,332
They gotta measure and
validate the size of my penis.
154
00:07:59,415 --> 00:08:04,003
Oh, so the world's biggest asshole
has the world's smallest dick?
155
00:08:04,086 --> 00:08:08,924
Ah, yeah, if it's so small, why
you driving away from it? Huh?
156
00:08:09,008 --> 00:08:10,051
[sighs]
157
00:08:10,134 --> 00:08:11,552
Sell those trees!
158
00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:14,472
[tires squealing]
159
00:08:15,431 --> 00:08:18,934
What are you smiling about?
Stupid festive dildo.
160
00:08:19,643 --> 00:08:23,772
So what, your folks make you do this
'cause you torched the woods?
161
00:08:23,856 --> 00:08:25,441
- Yeah.
- I hear ya.
162
00:08:25,525 --> 00:08:28,319
I'm here for sticking
a pencil in the milk man's leg.
163
00:08:28,403 --> 00:08:30,779
Asshole wouldn't give me heavy cream!
164
00:08:30,863 --> 00:08:34,409
[chuckles] Can I ask you something?
Why haven't you killed me yet?
165
00:08:34,492 --> 00:08:37,119
Took a lot of balls
to go psycho like that.
166
00:08:37,203 --> 00:08:39,914
And I respect the fuck outta balls!
167
00:08:39,997 --> 00:08:41,040
Hey, keep a look out.
168
00:08:43,667 --> 00:08:47,171
- Hey, that's for the poor.
- So what? I'm poor.
169
00:08:47,255 --> 00:08:49,382
Take this and keep your mouth shut.
170
00:08:49,465 --> 00:08:50,966
What do I do with it?
171
00:08:51,050 --> 00:08:54,178
Just put it in your bra and say,
"Thank you, Jimmy."
172
00:08:54,262 --> 00:08:57,515
You and me are gonna
get along just fine.
173
00:08:59,267 --> 00:09:02,478
I'm glad we could reach
a deal without resorting
174
00:09:02,479 --> 00:09:05,689
to more ungentlemanly
means, methods or tactics.
175
00:09:05,773 --> 00:09:09,485
Thankfully, we'll only be using
our shovels for snow this year.
176
00:09:09,569 --> 00:09:11,078
Well said.
177
00:09:13,697 --> 00:09:16,284
Since Frank Murphy
brokered the agreement,
178
00:09:16,367 --> 00:09:21,247
we've given him the honor of
distributing the ceremonial pens.
179
00:09:34,385 --> 00:09:36,720
Can I get a pen, too?
180
00:09:36,804 --> 00:09:39,890
Oh, no, it's just for those two.
There's only two pens.
181
00:09:39,974 --> 00:09:42,726
What are you saying? Brandy
isn't good enough to have a pen?
182
00:09:42,810 --> 00:09:45,729
No, she's great. It's just that she's
not a signatory of this legal document.
183
00:09:45,813 --> 00:09:48,608
- So she's a common whore, is that right?
- No, that's not what I'm saying.
184
00:09:48,690 --> 00:09:52,194
- You think she's just my fuck doll?
- Everybody thinks that, but I don't!
185
00:09:52,278 --> 00:09:53,529
What the hell is going on?
186
00:09:53,613 --> 00:09:56,991
Yes, come on! Let's just
focus on signing the deal!
187
00:09:57,074 --> 00:09:58,326
There is no deal!
188
00:09:58,409 --> 00:10:02,538
- Then we are calling this strike right now!
- Go ahead!
189
00:10:02,622 --> 00:10:06,167
I wouldn't shake the hand of
any man who disrespects my wife!
190
00:10:06,250 --> 00:10:08,085
I thought that was your daughter.
191
00:10:08,169 --> 00:10:11,464
You think I'd fuck something
as old as my daughter?!
192
00:10:11,547 --> 00:10:14,216
- I will drown you!
- No, no, no, no! Put that away!
193
00:10:16,260 --> 00:10:17,761
Tree!
194
00:10:18,679 --> 00:10:21,265
Nice trees! Want to buy a tree?
195
00:10:22,808 --> 00:10:24,706
Want to buy a tree for tha...
196
00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:28,189
Trying to be good here, you asshole!
Help me out!
197
00:10:28,272 --> 00:10:29,690
Oh, fuck this.
198
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:33,152
[crashing]
[man] Hey!
199
00:10:33,235 --> 00:10:34,362
Ah, shit.
200
00:10:41,118 --> 00:10:44,830
Oh, don't look at me like that.
These aren't the body of Christ
201
00:10:44,913 --> 00:10:48,834
till they've been blessed
during transubstantiation.
202
00:10:50,169 --> 00:10:53,297
Here, take a swig.
Come on, drink it!
203
00:10:53,381 --> 00:10:55,341
Uh, OK, sure.
204
00:10:55,424 --> 00:10:56,509
[door opens]
205
00:10:56,592 --> 00:10:58,927
Five minutes, gentlemen.
Biggest show of the year.
206
00:10:59,011 --> 00:11:03,683
- Yes, Father!
- [sighs] Just gotta warm up a little.
207
00:11:03,765 --> 00:11:07,019
Wa-Wa-Wa-Water
and wine are wonderful.
208
00:11:07,102 --> 00:11:11,106
He kissed a leper's foot,
don't throw rocks at a whore.
209
00:11:11,190 --> 00:11:14,569
Leper, whore, whore,
whore, whore, leper, whore.
210
00:11:14,652 --> 00:11:15,903
[door closes]
Good, he's gone.
211
00:11:15,986 --> 00:11:18,113
Now listen up.
Tonight, during the sermon,
212
00:11:18,197 --> 00:11:20,999
we're gonna come back here
and break into this safe
213
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:25,037
- and get us some gold chalices.
- What? Uh, I don't think...
214
00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:27,873
The combination is written down
here somewhere. Help me find it.
215
00:11:27,956 --> 00:11:30,918
- I don't want to do this.
- I don't want to beat the fuck outta you,
216
00:11:30,919 --> 00:11:32,503
either, but I will if you don't help me.
217
00:11:32,587 --> 00:11:34,547
You can do what you want,
but I'm not doing it.
218
00:11:34,630 --> 00:11:36,298
- Do it!
- Ow! No!
219
00:11:36,382 --> 00:11:37,508
[clattering]
220
00:11:38,593 --> 00:11:41,520
You soiled my surplice,
you fucking catamite!
221
00:11:41,929 --> 00:11:43,805
[grunts]
222
00:11:43,889 --> 00:11:45,057
Oh, shit.
223
00:11:45,891 --> 00:11:49,270
[man] Please, gentlemen, there's
still plenty of time to talk.
224
00:11:49,353 --> 00:11:51,980
[Rosie] Talking is over!
This union is on strike!
225
00:11:52,064 --> 00:11:53,773
[Dunbarton] I'll replace
you all in an eye blink!
226
00:11:53,857 --> 00:11:56,277
[Pogo] I have a dozen scabs ready to go!
227
00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:59,238
[Rosie] You have a dozen
scabs on your titties, fat boy!
228
00:11:59,321 --> 00:12:03,825
[man on radio] A low of 27 tonight
with flurries on Christmas Day.
229
00:12:03,909 --> 00:12:06,078
Music of the season continues now.
230
00:12:06,161 --> 00:12:09,915
["O Holy Night" playing]
231
00:12:43,865 --> 00:12:45,367
Ah, shit.
232
00:12:45,451 --> 00:12:47,662
[overlapping chatter]
233
00:13:03,927 --> 00:13:06,764
[sings off-key to "O Holy Night"]
234
00:13:35,668 --> 00:13:37,002
[loud thunk]
[music stops]
235
00:13:37,085 --> 00:13:39,399
- Yeah. Oh, you like that?
- God, yeah!
236
00:13:39,434 --> 00:13:40,548
[honking]
237
00:13:40,631 --> 00:13:43,425
- What the fuck?!
- How's it going, Frank?
238
00:13:43,509 --> 00:13:45,927
Why is there a person and a half
fucking on the hood of my car?
239
00:13:46,011 --> 00:13:50,307
Because he's a man, Frank.
A man named Skee-Ball.
240
00:13:50,391 --> 00:13:54,770
A man with desires,
just like you and me.
241
00:13:54,854 --> 00:13:58,733
But the only job society lets him
have is playing an elf at the mall.
242
00:13:58,816 --> 00:14:03,362
Or the occasional cookie commercial.
Frank, this man earned this.
243
00:14:03,445 --> 00:14:06,448
Let him fuck on your car.
244
00:14:07,783 --> 00:14:11,255
- Thanks, Vic. You get me.
- But I wanna know who's gonna
245
00:14:11,290 --> 00:14:13,414
pay for the tiny ass dent
on the hood of my car.
246
00:14:13,497 --> 00:14:14,874
It's all good, man.
247
00:14:14,956 --> 00:14:18,064
No, it's not, Vic. It's not all good!
248
00:14:18,878 --> 00:14:19,920
Sue?
249
00:14:21,380 --> 00:14:23,841
- Ah, Christ.
- That's all I get from you?
250
00:14:23,924 --> 00:14:26,134
As hard as I've been working
all day for the party?
251
00:14:26,218 --> 00:14:29,471
Oh, what party? There is no party!
We're on strike!
252
00:14:29,555 --> 00:14:32,266
- What?!
- It's a long story. We were gonna sign!
253
00:14:32,349 --> 00:14:33,684
There were fancy pens!
254
00:14:33,768 --> 00:14:37,020
He's got a trophy wife, they
were shiny. It all fell apart!
255
00:14:37,104 --> 00:14:38,939
We can't let it ruin Christmas!
256
00:14:39,022 --> 00:14:41,233
Christmas?
This is the real world, Susan!
257
00:14:41,316 --> 00:14:43,793
If this doesn't work out,
next year we'll be having
258
00:14:43,794 --> 00:14:46,271
- Christmas on Skid Row!
- Keep your voice down!
259
00:14:46,272 --> 00:14:48,323
We have to put on
a brave face for the kids.
260
00:14:48,407 --> 00:14:51,285
The kids?
Who, the flunky? The pyro?
261
00:14:51,368 --> 00:14:53,579
Mr. Fucking Coconut? Face it, Sue.
262
00:14:53,662 --> 00:14:56,916
- Our family is pretty fucked up!
- How dare you say that!
263
00:14:57,040 --> 00:15:00,711
Dad, I need 20 bucks so I can
tell my boss I sold these trees.
264
00:15:00,795 --> 00:15:04,715
- And 50 bucks to fix a guy's windshield.
- Exhibit A!
265
00:15:04,799 --> 00:15:09,386
I looked everywhere and I still
can't find Major! [sobbing]
266
00:15:09,470 --> 00:15:12,556
- What if he's dead?
- Oh, then he's the lucky one!
267
00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:14,600
Frank Murphy, you stop that right now!
268
00:15:14,683 --> 00:15:17,582
- Honey, he didn't mean that.
- Seriously, Dad, I need that money.
269
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:20,481
- That guy said he might sue you.
- Well, he'd better do it quick.
270
00:15:21,732 --> 00:15:25,527
- Jimmy Fitzsimmons is coming to kill me!
- Oh, there you go, perfect!
271
00:15:25,611 --> 00:15:29,114
Let's just bring all the
bad news at once! Whoo!
272
00:15:29,197 --> 00:15:31,283
Come on, Santa,
my mouth's wide open!
273
00:15:31,366 --> 00:15:33,702
Fly up on the roof
and shit down my neck!
274
00:15:33,786 --> 00:15:36,497
[thudding]
Hey! Murphy!
275
00:15:36,580 --> 00:15:40,292
Where is the little
shit who hurt my son?
276
00:15:40,375 --> 00:15:41,585
Great.
277
00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:46,534
- Can I help you?
- Your kid almost killed my kid.
278
00:15:46,569 --> 00:15:48,008
Little prick looks OK to me.
279
00:15:48,091 --> 00:15:51,219
He tried to get my son
to rob the church!
280
00:15:51,303 --> 00:15:53,973
- That's not true!
- Yes, it is, you liar!
281
00:15:54,055 --> 00:15:55,766
Leave Bill alone, piss breath!
282
00:15:55,850 --> 00:15:59,394
It's not my fault!
I have a dead tooth!
283
00:15:59,478 --> 00:16:03,106
- Go away, Jimmy!
- She tried to gouge my eyes out!
284
00:16:03,190 --> 00:16:06,743
- Christ, are all your kids psycho?
- Hey! Hey!
285
00:16:06,778 --> 00:16:09,237
Nobody calls one
of my kids a psycho except me!
286
00:16:09,321 --> 00:16:10,781
- Thanks, Dad.
- Shut up!
287
00:16:10,865 --> 00:16:13,646
You are way outta line
coming over to my house
288
00:16:13,647 --> 00:16:15,691
and insulting my family.
You owe us all an apology.
289
00:16:15,818 --> 00:16:19,832
Ooh! "Apology!"
Somebody went to college.
290
00:16:19,915 --> 00:16:22,167
I didn't go to college, I went to Korea.
291
00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:24,712
You should've stayed
there, you piece of shit!
292
00:16:24,795 --> 00:16:27,172
- Watch your mouth.
- Mind your own business,
293
00:16:27,255 --> 00:16:29,132
you fucking nosey bi...
294
00:16:30,759 --> 00:16:31,927
[grunting]
295
00:16:32,011 --> 00:16:33,094
Hey!
296
00:16:33,178 --> 00:16:35,096
[overlapping grunts]
Goddamn it!
297
00:16:37,349 --> 00:16:39,476
[yells] Oh!
298
00:16:43,898 --> 00:16:46,567
Skee-Ball, no!
[gasping]
299
00:16:47,401 --> 00:16:49,403
[groans]
Jesus, Sue!
300
00:16:49,486 --> 00:16:51,446
Get the fuck off my lawn!
301
00:16:51,530 --> 00:16:53,448
Your whole family's crazy!
302
00:16:53,532 --> 00:16:56,410
I've got the best family
in this whole goddamn town!
303
00:16:56,493 --> 00:16:58,328
And don't you ever come back!
304
00:16:58,412 --> 00:16:59,997
You mean that about us?
305
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:02,624
[panting]
You're damn right, I do.
306
00:17:02,708 --> 00:17:05,293
- You all right, champ?
- Fine.
307
00:17:05,377 --> 00:17:07,128
Jesus Christ, I'm outta shape.
308
00:17:08,296 --> 00:17:10,841
- Thanks, Dad.
- OK, all right, all right.
309
00:17:10,925 --> 00:17:12,509
There's dwarves watching.
310
00:17:15,637 --> 00:17:17,472
[Sue kisses]
[Frank chuckles]
311
00:17:17,556 --> 00:17:19,767
- We got some good kids.
- They're OK.
312
00:17:19,850 --> 00:17:21,602
[Major barks]
Major!
313
00:17:21,685 --> 00:17:23,812
Look who I f... [shouts]
314
00:17:23,896 --> 00:17:27,148
[Major whining]
Major, I missed you so much!
315
00:17:27,232 --> 00:17:30,027
Oh, there you are, boy!
You're home!
316
00:17:30,110 --> 00:17:34,740
And you're still just as fat.
What've you been eating?
317
00:17:34,823 --> 00:17:39,057
- Well, I guess I should be going.
- Ah, get back in here,
318
00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:41,963
you lonely old bastard!
Come on, we're having a party!
319
00:17:42,623 --> 00:17:45,834
[man on TV] This is a special
report from Channel Nine News.
320
00:17:45,918 --> 00:17:49,088
I won't be home for Christmas?
321
00:17:49,170 --> 00:17:52,049
That's the sad story here
at Rustbelt Memorial Airport,
322
00:17:52,132 --> 00:17:54,134
where the striking baggage handlers
323
00:17:54,135 --> 00:17:56,136
of Mohican Airways have
grounded all flights.
324
00:17:56,219 --> 00:17:58,430
There seems to be no solution in sight
325
00:17:58,513 --> 00:18:01,892
as management has taken
a firm stance against the union.
326
00:18:01,976 --> 00:18:04,853
- [Dunbarton] You should all be shot!
- Dad, your friend's on TV.
327
00:18:04,937 --> 00:18:08,398
Nah, nah, nah, that's just
my boss, not my friend.
328
00:18:08,482 --> 00:18:12,694
- You gotta go down there, don't you?
- If I don't, it's just gonna get worse.
329
00:18:12,778 --> 00:18:15,656
OK, you go do what you gotta do.
We'll be here for you.
330
00:18:16,306 --> 00:18:19,242
- Get a room.
- Fuck you, get an apartment.
331
00:18:19,326 --> 00:18:22,788
[chanting] ...on Christmas Day!
Mohican brave, noble savage,
332
00:18:22,871 --> 00:18:25,749
you go carry your own baggage!
333
00:18:25,833 --> 00:18:27,876
Mohican brave, noble savage...
334
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:31,192
Jim, it breaks my heart to
see homesick travelers denied
335
00:18:31,193 --> 00:18:34,424
the opportunity to go home to
their families on Christmas.
336
00:18:34,508 --> 00:18:37,719
And honestly, I think it's
a gutless play by the union.
337
00:18:37,803 --> 00:18:40,139
It wasn't long ago that
abandoning your post
338
00:18:40,221 --> 00:18:41,974
got you put in front of a firing squad.
339
00:18:42,057 --> 00:18:45,393
Maybe that's why they call
it "the good ol' days."
340
00:18:46,394 --> 00:18:48,438
- Mr. Dunbarton.
- What do you want?
341
00:18:48,522 --> 00:18:51,191
Sir, I just left my
wife and kids back home.
342
00:18:51,274 --> 00:18:54,194
We had a terrible Christmas
Eve, but we stuck together
343
00:18:54,195 --> 00:18:57,114
and got through it, because
that's what a family does.
344
00:18:57,197 --> 00:18:59,774
And I'd like to think
all of us at Mohican,
345
00:18:59,775 --> 00:19:04,913
- well, we're a family too.
- Who the fuck told Andy Williams to come?
346
00:19:04,997 --> 00:19:07,499
Let him speak, Bob.
You have something to say?
347
00:19:07,582 --> 00:19:09,168
We've gotta get this.
348
00:19:09,250 --> 00:19:12,453
I know it's a little
schmaltzy, but we are a family
349
00:19:12,454 --> 00:19:14,589
and now we need to pull together.
350
00:19:14,673 --> 00:19:17,885
We were all set to sign that
deal today and avoid this strike.
351
00:19:17,968 --> 00:19:20,721
But you let it fall
apart because of a pen.
352
00:19:20,804 --> 00:19:23,515
And your wife, who some of
us thought was your daughter.
353
00:19:23,598 --> 00:19:25,851
Mr. Dunbarton, you're
the head of this family.
354
00:19:25,934 --> 00:19:27,978
And only you can pull us together.
355
00:19:28,062 --> 00:19:31,398
You can stick to your pride and ego,
trust me, I've been there,
356
00:19:31,481 --> 00:19:36,820
or you can get past all that and sign
the fair contract we all agreed to.
357
00:19:36,904 --> 00:19:38,372
So what do you say?
358
00:19:38,444 --> 00:19:41,742
Sign this deal and save
the Mohican Airways family.
359
00:19:45,704 --> 00:19:48,749
Murphy, your words are very moving.
360
00:19:48,832 --> 00:19:53,045
And I think I can find a way to make
this deal work and make me happy.
361
00:19:53,128 --> 00:19:54,213
Gimme that contract.
362
00:20:00,911 --> 00:20:05,515
[chanting] Murphy!
Murphy! Murphy! Murphy!
363
00:20:05,599 --> 00:20:06,975
[man on TV] There you have it.
[cheering]
364
00:20:07,059 --> 00:20:11,646
A strike ended, a company mended,
a Christmas that's truly splendid.
365
00:20:11,730 --> 00:20:13,648
Well, this is Jim Jeffords,
366
00:20:13,649 --> 00:20:16,526
believing in miracles again,
Channel Nine News.
367
00:20:16,610 --> 00:20:20,114
If that doesn't win me a Peabody,
I will blow a horse.
368
00:20:26,286 --> 00:20:30,624
Frank, no one's talked to
me like that in 30 years.
369
00:20:30,707 --> 00:20:33,543
- Just spoke from the heart, sir.
- Merry Christmas.
370
00:20:39,299 --> 00:20:43,262
Congratulations, Frank. Your
little sermon saved the airline.
371
00:20:43,344 --> 00:20:44,554
Ah, thanks, Bob.
372
00:20:44,638 --> 00:20:47,432
Tell Mr. Dunbarton if there's
anything he needs, I'll do it.
373
00:20:47,515 --> 00:20:50,644
- Well, there is one thing...
- Anything, just name it!
374
00:20:50,727 --> 00:20:53,147
He needs you to clean out your office.
375
00:20:53,230 --> 00:20:55,232
- What?
- You're done, Frank.
376
00:20:55,315 --> 00:20:57,734
He's firing me on... on Christmas?
377
00:20:57,818 --> 00:21:01,238
No, no, he's firing
you on Christmas Eve.
378
00:21:01,321 --> 00:21:05,159
That way you can watch your kids
open the presents you can't afford.
379
00:21:05,242 --> 00:21:08,912
You blew it, Frank!
You insulted Dunbarton!
380
00:21:08,996 --> 00:21:13,083
- All I did was appeal to his humanity.
- Exactly.
381
00:21:13,167 --> 00:21:16,044
Bob. I got a family to feed.
What am I gonna do?
382
00:21:16,128 --> 00:21:18,797
Not my problem, you fucking traitor.
383
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:21,549
It was a mistake to promote you anyway.
384
00:21:21,633 --> 00:21:26,499
You weren't fit for management.
Happy Holidays.
385
00:21:27,139 --> 00:21:29,308
Frank, what are you doing?
We're done here.
386
00:21:29,390 --> 00:21:32,560
- You are, but I'm not.
- What are you doing?
387
00:21:32,644 --> 00:21:35,981
Not fit for management? I've been
carrying you for three months.
388
00:21:36,064 --> 00:21:38,733
I just saved the airline,
saved your goddamn job,
389
00:21:38,817 --> 00:21:40,944
which appears to be
nothing more than eating,
390
00:21:41,028 --> 00:21:42,696
and you stood by while I got fired?!
391
00:21:42,779 --> 00:21:44,897
Well, fuck you, fuck Dunbarton,
392
00:21:44,898 --> 00:21:48,076
and fuck you,
you miserable tub of living shit!
393
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:50,037
Hey. Hey, you want these?
394
00:21:50,120 --> 00:21:53,373
- Huh? You want your keys?
- Don't you dare throw them.
395
00:21:53,456 --> 00:21:57,436
I wouldn't do that to you, Bobby.
They're at your feet.
396
00:21:57,836 --> 00:22:00,630
You fucker!
[horn blaring]
397
00:22:00,714 --> 00:22:02,757
Merry Christmas, Bob.
[horn honking]
398
00:22:03,717 --> 00:22:07,888
[groaning] You fucker!
You're not human!
399
00:22:07,971 --> 00:22:12,893
You can't leave me here!
I'll die!
400
00:22:14,293 --> 00:22:17,998
[sad music plays]
401
00:22:31,786 --> 00:22:36,124
- [clicking] Vic?
- Hey, neighbor.
402
00:22:36,208 --> 00:22:38,377
Jesus, Vic, you're
gonna freeze to death.
403
00:22:38,459 --> 00:22:42,630
Oh, I'm not shaking because
I'm cold. You know what I mean?
404
00:22:42,714 --> 00:22:44,507
Nah, Vic, I never know what you mean.
405
00:22:44,591 --> 00:22:47,177
Here, here, come here.
Take my coat.
406
00:22:47,261 --> 00:22:50,680
Oh. Thanks, man.
You go on home now.
407
00:22:50,764 --> 00:22:52,349
Have yourself a Merry Little.
408
00:22:58,521 --> 00:23:02,401
- Vic, I lost my job tonight.
- Fucking Santa, man.
409
00:23:03,068 --> 00:23:05,987
I don't know how to tell Sue.
Christ, this is gonna kill her.
410
00:23:06,071 --> 00:23:09,324
No, man, she'll be all right.
She loves you.
411
00:23:09,408 --> 00:23:11,492
Your kids love you.
You'll be OK.
412
00:23:11,576 --> 00:23:14,329
- You guys are solid.
- How would you know that?
413
00:23:14,413 --> 00:23:18,375
I see you over there, cooking out,
tossing the ball with the boys.
414
00:23:18,417 --> 00:23:22,587
It's beautiful. You guys are
like a Norman Rockwell painting.
415
00:23:22,670 --> 00:23:25,632
- You want a bumperooski?
- No, no, no.
416
00:23:25,715 --> 00:23:29,928
- Hey, where's all your guests?
- Oh, Christmas is for family, Frank.
417
00:23:30,011 --> 00:23:33,640
I'm for the other 364 days of the year.
418
00:23:33,723 --> 00:23:35,767
I'm, uh, gonna go inside.
419
00:23:36,684 --> 00:23:40,188
Hey, Vic, um...
would you like to join us?
420
00:23:40,272 --> 00:23:44,525
[softly] Oh, yeah, I could
seriously dig that, Frank.
421
00:23:44,609 --> 00:23:46,194
[bellowing]
422
00:23:47,779 --> 00:23:50,240
Better take a reindeer
check, Frankincense.
423
00:23:50,324 --> 00:23:52,660
This dude and I gotta tangle.
424
00:23:52,695 --> 00:23:55,203
All right, now, super-freak,
party's over.
425
00:23:55,287 --> 00:23:56,495
[panting]
426
00:23:57,414 --> 00:23:58,748
[glass shattering]
Hey, hey, hey!
427
00:23:58,832 --> 00:24:01,460
Hey, slow it down, hot sauce!
[bellowing]
428
00:24:01,542 --> 00:24:03,044
You're on a bad trip, brother!
429
00:24:04,212 --> 00:24:07,257
Let me talk you down!
Have a little O.J.
430
00:24:07,341 --> 00:24:10,177
Hey, hey! [voice fading]
I'll rub your hooves!
431
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:12,220
Let's talk about it!
432
00:24:12,304 --> 00:24:13,847
You can do this, Frank.
433
00:24:15,223 --> 00:24:16,683
No, you can't.
434
00:24:18,435 --> 00:24:20,979
[cheering, chattering]
435
00:24:21,688 --> 00:24:25,107
[up-tempo holiday music playing]
436
00:24:42,277 --> 00:24:46,983
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
437
00:25:25,793 --> 00:25:27,254
[gunshot]
[casing clatters]