1 00:00:02,655 --> 00:00:04,623 Excuse me, could you tell me where I can find the... 2 00:00:04,625 --> 00:00:06,458 Ah. I'm on the phone. 3 00:00:06,460 --> 00:00:09,027 I've been waiting for help for, like, 20 minutes. 4 00:00:09,029 --> 00:00:10,262 I've been on hold for 40. 5 00:00:10,264 --> 00:00:11,930 But when the Chili Peppers come to town, 6 00:00:11,932 --> 00:00:13,732 you do what it takes. 7 00:00:13,734 --> 00:00:16,668 Is there a manager I could speak with? 8 00:00:16,670 --> 00:00:18,436 Yeah, obstructed view is fine. 9 00:00:18,438 --> 00:00:19,938 Whatever it takes to see the Peppers. 10 00:00:19,940 --> 00:00:22,040 What you watching? Stuff? 11 00:00:22,042 --> 00:00:23,375 Corporate sent a secret shopper 12 00:00:23,377 --> 00:00:24,809 to the Richmond Heights store. 13 00:00:24,811 --> 00:00:27,345 - It did not go well. - I think the screen froze. 14 00:00:27,347 --> 00:00:29,547 Nah, he just stays like that for another 20 minutes. 15 00:00:29,549 --> 00:00:31,216 Sir, excuse me. 16 00:00:31,218 --> 00:00:33,451 I heard the Maplewood Commons got a secret shopper too. 17 00:00:33,453 --> 00:00:34,619 Yeah, they cleaned house after. 18 00:00:34,621 --> 00:00:35,621 Fired everyone. 19 00:00:35,622 --> 00:00:36,755 Even the manager? 20 00:00:36,757 --> 00:00:38,089 Especially the manager. 21 00:00:38,091 --> 00:00:40,759 How do you get especially fired? 22 00:00:40,761 --> 00:00:43,561 Kirkwood got a secret shopper, but they did well. 23 00:00:43,563 --> 00:00:45,063 All the associates got raises. 24 00:00:45,065 --> 00:00:46,564 - Like money? - No. 25 00:00:46,566 --> 00:00:47,999 Like they were lifted up into the air 26 00:00:48,001 --> 00:00:50,602 and waved around... yeah, money. 27 00:00:50,604 --> 00:00:52,203 I wonder if they'll send one here. 28 00:00:52,205 --> 00:00:54,072 A secret shopper? 29 00:00:54,074 --> 00:00:55,173 I'd know. 30 00:00:55,175 --> 00:00:56,708 I can always sniff out a fake. 31 00:00:56,710 --> 00:00:58,677 The only way a secret shopper's getting past me 32 00:00:58,679 --> 00:01:00,812 is if he doesn't even know he's a secret shopper. 33 00:01:00,814 --> 00:01:02,380 Like Harrison Ford in "Blade Runner." 34 00:01:02,382 --> 00:01:03,848 I'm gonna say this one more time. 35 00:01:03,850 --> 00:01:05,817 Deckard was not a replicant. 36 00:01:05,819 --> 00:01:07,052 Then explain the friggin' unicorn! 37 00:01:07,054 --> 00:01:08,186 Director's Cut doesn't count! 38 00:01:08,188 --> 00:01:09,321 I can't listen to 39 00:01:09,323 --> 00:01:10,555 the "Blade Runner" debate one more time. 40 00:01:10,557 --> 00:01:12,524 I would love for them to send a secret shopper. 41 00:01:12,526 --> 00:01:14,192 But then again, I got a 93 42 00:01:14,194 --> 00:01:15,660 on my last corporate policy test, 43 00:01:15,662 --> 00:01:17,529 so nothing but net. 44 00:01:17,531 --> 00:01:19,631 Mateo, those scores don't mean anything. 45 00:01:19,633 --> 00:01:22,934 I don't know. 93 is pretty impressive. 46 00:01:22,936 --> 00:01:24,536 I got 100. 47 00:01:24,538 --> 00:01:25,737 Really? 48 00:01:25,739 --> 00:01:28,039 Well, that was a hurtfully exaggerated "really." 49 00:01:28,041 --> 00:01:30,141 No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it to sound bad. 50 00:01:30,143 --> 00:01:32,410 I just meant, you're not very good at your job. 51 00:01:32,412 --> 00:01:34,145 Oh, okay. Well, thank you. 52 00:01:34,147 --> 00:01:36,448 Okay, guys, nothing else matters 53 00:01:36,450 --> 00:01:38,249 but this secret shopper, okay? 54 00:01:38,251 --> 00:01:39,617 We need a plan. 55 00:01:39,619 --> 00:01:40,785 I know. 56 00:01:40,787 --> 00:01:42,754 What if we treated every customer 57 00:01:42,756 --> 00:01:44,689 like they were the secret shopper? 58 00:01:44,691 --> 00:01:46,358 Nah, that's never gonna work. 59 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:47,959 Yeah, it's a terrible idea. 60 00:01:52,766 --> 00:01:55,066 This has got to be the lamest thing 61 00:01:55,068 --> 00:01:57,435 anyone has ever been cocky about. 62 00:01:57,437 --> 00:01:59,571 I know. It's so embarrassing. 63 00:01:59,573 --> 00:02:01,039 I told them not to put that up there, 64 00:02:01,041 --> 00:02:03,208 but I guess they felt they had to honor me somehow. 65 00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:04,909 You know you're just asking someone to draw a penis 66 00:02:04,911 --> 00:02:06,378 on your face, right? 67 00:02:06,380 --> 00:02:08,179 This must be really bittersweet for you, 68 00:02:08,181 --> 00:02:10,515 being surpassed by your protégé. 69 00:02:10,517 --> 00:02:12,817 But now is no longer the time of Amy. 70 00:02:12,819 --> 00:02:15,553 No, now is the time of Ace. 71 00:02:15,555 --> 00:02:16,721 Oh, Ace? Wow. 72 00:02:16,723 --> 00:02:18,390 Ace. They're calling me Ace now. 73 00:02:18,392 --> 00:02:19,824 Strong words from a guy who led 74 00:02:19,826 --> 00:02:21,526 a flock of ducks into the store. 75 00:02:21,528 --> 00:02:22,627 My pocket was ripped. 76 00:02:22,629 --> 00:02:23,962 I didn't know I was trailing crackers. 77 00:02:23,964 --> 00:02:25,263 Why are you even walking around 78 00:02:25,265 --> 00:02:26,531 with crackers in your pocket? 79 00:02:26,533 --> 00:02:28,733 Because they don't have the kind I like here. 80 00:02:28,735 --> 00:02:30,201 All right, Marcus is in court today 81 00:02:30,203 --> 00:02:31,770 testifying against his grandmother, 82 00:02:31,772 --> 00:02:33,338 so I need you to help zone Clearance 83 00:02:33,340 --> 00:02:34,939 and then stock Charcoal in Patio. 84 00:02:34,941 --> 00:02:36,541 Charcoal doesn't go in Patio anymore. 85 00:02:36,543 --> 00:02:37,543 It goes in Grocery. 86 00:02:37,544 --> 00:02:38,944 I got that answer right on the test. 87 00:02:38,945 --> 00:02:40,145 I know that because I got 88 00:02:40,147 --> 00:02:41,813 every answer right on the test. 89 00:02:41,815 --> 00:02:43,281 This is supposed to be one of the last 90 00:02:43,283 --> 00:02:44,682 warm weekends of the year. 91 00:02:44,684 --> 00:02:46,351 Do you know what people like to do 92 00:02:46,353 --> 00:02:47,752 when the weather is nice? 93 00:02:47,754 --> 00:02:49,287 Eat soft-shell crab. 94 00:02:49,289 --> 00:02:51,956 Grill, and our customers are used to finding charcoal 95 00:02:51,958 --> 00:02:53,558 for their grills in Patio. 96 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:55,860 So unless we want to spend the next few weeks being MapQuest, 97 00:02:55,862 --> 00:02:57,829 we'll make the switch after grilling season. 98 00:02:57,831 --> 00:03:01,132 Yeah, but with all the secret shopper stuff, 99 00:03:01,134 --> 00:03:03,134 shouldn't we just be doing things by the book? 100 00:03:03,136 --> 00:03:04,502 I know how to do my job. 101 00:03:04,504 --> 00:03:07,939 I'm not gonna live in fear of some corporate spy. 102 00:03:07,941 --> 00:03:09,107 Follow-up question: 103 00:03:09,109 --> 00:03:10,742 You don't still use MapQuest, do you? 104 00:03:10,744 --> 00:03:12,510 It's very intuitive. 105 00:03:26,059 --> 00:03:27,525 First time in our store? 106 00:03:27,527 --> 00:03:29,761 Oh, no. I've been here before. 107 00:03:29,763 --> 00:03:31,029 Really? 108 00:03:31,031 --> 00:03:32,664 Because I have a pretty good memory for faces, 109 00:03:32,666 --> 00:03:33,998 right there... 110 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,600 In my brain. 111 00:03:35,602 --> 00:03:37,168 Well, you must have forgotten mine. 112 00:03:37,170 --> 00:03:38,970 Yeah, I don't think so. 113 00:03:38,972 --> 00:03:41,139 It's very distinctive looking. 114 00:03:42,242 --> 00:03:44,342 But maybe it was my mistake. 115 00:03:44,344 --> 00:03:46,744 Guess you're just a regular customer 116 00:03:46,746 --> 00:03:48,480 doing some regular pet food shopping. 117 00:03:48,482 --> 00:03:50,215 Say, what type of pet do you have? 118 00:03:50,217 --> 00:03:53,351 - It's a dog. - What kind? 119 00:03:53,353 --> 00:03:55,553 - Cockapoo... - How old? 120 00:03:55,555 --> 00:03:57,355 - Four... - Gender? 121 00:03:57,357 --> 00:03:59,157 - Girl. - Well... 122 00:03:59,159 --> 00:04:01,292 Looks like you've got an answer for everything. 123 00:04:01,294 --> 00:04:03,495 So I'll just leave you to your shopping. 124 00:04:03,497 --> 00:04:05,396 Oh! 125 00:04:05,398 --> 00:04:06,598 I almost forgot to ask. 126 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:07,932 What's your cat's name? 127 00:04:07,934 --> 00:04:09,634 It's a dog. 128 00:04:12,172 --> 00:04:13,872 Sure it is. 129 00:04:15,909 --> 00:04:17,976 Where would I find men's hats? 130 00:04:19,379 --> 00:04:21,346 All right, you're gonna want to go to aisle 16, 131 00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:23,515 and then straight, uh... oh. 132 00:04:23,517 --> 00:04:25,617 Uh, who's this hat for? A boyfriend? 133 00:04:25,619 --> 00:04:27,318 No. No boyfriend. 134 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:29,420 - It's for my dad. - Tight, tight. 135 00:04:29,422 --> 00:04:31,723 Well, I could take you over there personally. 136 00:04:31,725 --> 00:04:34,659 And if you'd like, I could model some of the options for you. 137 00:04:34,661 --> 00:04:37,529 You know, they say my head looks amazing in hats. 138 00:04:37,531 --> 00:04:38,963 All right. 139 00:04:38,965 --> 00:04:40,331 Yeah, that was cute and funny. 140 00:04:40,333 --> 00:04:41,733 Uh, let me tell you about myself... 141 00:04:41,735 --> 00:04:43,167 Did I hear you ask about men's hats? 142 00:04:43,169 --> 00:04:44,435 I can help you with that. 143 00:04:44,437 --> 00:04:45,737 Uh, I got this, man. 144 00:04:45,739 --> 00:04:46,938 Okay, just thought I'd ask, 145 00:04:46,940 --> 00:04:48,840 since I've personally tested every hat we sell, 146 00:04:48,842 --> 00:04:50,208 and Garrett is a sexual predator. 147 00:04:50,210 --> 00:04:51,543 - What? - Excuse me? 148 00:04:51,545 --> 00:04:53,578 Yeah, that's why his nickname is "The Rapist." 149 00:04:53,580 --> 00:04:55,680 Unconvicted, but we all know. 150 00:04:55,682 --> 00:04:57,181 Anyway, are we thinking Panama hat? 151 00:04:57,183 --> 00:04:58,750 Trilby? Tricorn? 152 00:04:58,752 --> 00:05:01,286 You know what? I'm good. 153 00:05:01,288 --> 00:05:03,087 Okay, well, remember to ask for Mateo. 154 00:05:03,089 --> 00:05:05,356 He'll make your day-o! 155 00:05:05,358 --> 00:05:06,791 What the was that? 156 00:05:06,793 --> 00:05:08,326 I don't know. I thought she was the secret shopper. 157 00:05:08,328 --> 00:05:10,528 - So? - There are raises on the line. 158 00:05:10,530 --> 00:05:12,964 So sorry, not sorry. I'm not here to make friends. 159 00:05:12,966 --> 00:05:15,166 Fine, whatever. 160 00:05:15,168 --> 00:05:16,301 I just hope for your sake, 161 00:05:16,303 --> 00:05:18,903 the secret shopper isn't one of us. 162 00:05:18,905 --> 00:05:21,172 Wh... wait, wait. What does that mean? 163 00:05:21,174 --> 00:05:23,007 Pssh. I ain't even gonna tell you. 164 00:05:23,009 --> 00:05:26,611 No, no. You can tell me. 165 00:05:26,613 --> 00:05:29,113 Well, at the Penrose store, 166 00:05:29,115 --> 00:05:32,617 the corporate plant was an employee. 167 00:05:32,619 --> 00:05:36,387 And when he was done, everyone who was a dick to him 168 00:05:36,389 --> 00:05:38,723 got fired. 169 00:05:38,725 --> 00:05:40,024 But, hey, that's why I always 170 00:05:40,026 --> 00:05:42,527 try to be nice to all my coworkers, 171 00:05:42,529 --> 00:05:43,928 but I'm just kind of one of those guys 172 00:05:43,930 --> 00:05:46,130 that likes to keep his job, so... 173 00:05:46,132 --> 00:05:48,733 Good luck. 174 00:05:48,735 --> 00:05:49,934 Thank... thank you. 175 00:06:02,482 --> 00:06:05,083 Well, no one's panicking. That's a good sign. 176 00:06:05,085 --> 00:06:07,385 We all just need to stay cool about this, right? 177 00:06:07,387 --> 00:06:09,554 I mean, I'm being cool. 178 00:06:09,556 --> 00:06:11,022 You know that's not a stress ball, right? 179 00:06:11,024 --> 00:06:15,526 - It's a lemon. - Let me have my process. 180 00:06:15,528 --> 00:06:16,894 Am I imagining things, 181 00:06:16,896 --> 00:06:20,365 or did I ask you to stock the charcoal in Patio? 182 00:06:20,367 --> 00:06:22,033 - Glenn told me... - Jonah reminded me 183 00:06:22,035 --> 00:06:24,502 that charcoal is supposed to be in Grocery now. 184 00:06:24,504 --> 00:06:25,703 Mm. 185 00:06:25,705 --> 00:06:26,838 We don't want to make any mistakes, 186 00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:28,773 not with a secret shopper in our mist. 187 00:06:28,775 --> 00:06:30,942 Wait, is it mist or midst? 188 00:06:30,944 --> 00:06:33,711 Which one were the gorillas in again? 189 00:06:33,713 --> 00:06:35,913 Jonah? 190 00:06:35,915 --> 00:06:37,181 Mist. 191 00:06:37,183 --> 00:06:40,585 So, um, you went over my head to Glenn? 192 00:06:40,587 --> 00:06:42,253 Well, no, it just sort of came up in conversation... 193 00:06:42,255 --> 00:06:44,422 Well, thank God he did. 194 00:06:44,424 --> 00:06:46,190 You know, you could stand to learn something 195 00:06:46,192 --> 00:06:47,959 from Mr. 100 here. 196 00:06:47,961 --> 00:06:49,527 That's a nickname that we came up with. 197 00:06:49,529 --> 00:06:50,561 - He came up with. - Yeah. 198 00:06:50,563 --> 00:06:52,363 I could think of a nickname for you too, 199 00:06:52,365 --> 00:06:55,133 but you haven't done anything really impressive lately. 200 00:06:55,135 --> 00:06:57,268 How about Little Miss "On Time"? 201 00:06:57,270 --> 00:06:58,603 Dr. Cool? 202 00:06:58,605 --> 00:07:00,204 Workules? 203 00:07:00,206 --> 00:07:01,873 How about just Amy? 204 00:07:01,875 --> 00:07:03,708 Floor Supervisor. 205 00:07:03,710 --> 00:07:06,411 Boring. Wait. 206 00:07:06,413 --> 00:07:09,622 Bed, Bath, and Beyonce! Huh? 207 00:07:12,949 --> 00:07:15,384 Hey. 208 00:07:15,386 --> 00:07:17,320 Here you are. 209 00:07:17,322 --> 00:07:18,788 Olives? 210 00:07:18,790 --> 00:07:21,090 It's the closest thing I could find to an olive branch. 211 00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:22,892 Thanks. 212 00:07:22,894 --> 00:07:25,061 Uh, so I guess now I restock these... 213 00:07:25,063 --> 00:07:27,396 No, no, no, I'll do it. I'll... I'll... 214 00:07:27,398 --> 00:07:29,699 Excuse me. Where can I find the charcoal? 215 00:07:29,701 --> 00:07:32,835 Grocery. 216 00:07:32,837 --> 00:07:35,805 Look, I'm sorry for going over your head like that. 217 00:07:35,807 --> 00:07:37,073 And I know what you're thinking. 218 00:07:37,075 --> 00:07:38,808 I wouldn't have done that if you were a man. 219 00:07:38,810 --> 00:07:40,209 Nope. Wasn't thinking that. 220 00:07:40,211 --> 00:07:42,884 - Oh, good. - It's fine. 221 00:07:42,884 --> 00:07:44,216 Just, next time, come to me first 222 00:07:44,218 --> 00:07:45,618 before you go to Glenn, all right? 223 00:07:45,620 --> 00:07:47,153 Got it, got it. 224 00:07:47,155 --> 00:07:50,089 Although, I did come to you first. 225 00:07:50,091 --> 00:07:51,691 Yeah, so next time, do a better job of it. 226 00:07:51,693 --> 00:07:52,758 - Better job. - Yeah. 227 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:54,293 Copy that. 228 00:07:54,295 --> 00:07:55,928 How? 229 00:07:55,930 --> 00:07:57,897 Hey, uh, are we sold out of charcoal? 230 00:07:57,899 --> 00:07:59,699 - Grocery. - Hmm. 231 00:07:59,701 --> 00:08:01,567 Where are tampons? Electronics? 232 00:08:01,569 --> 00:08:03,302 No, they're where tampons normally are. 233 00:08:03,304 --> 00:08:04,670 Okay. 234 00:08:05,773 --> 00:08:08,708 How about you hang these nifty signs 235 00:08:08,710 --> 00:08:10,376 and then grab a mop? 236 00:08:10,378 --> 00:08:12,445 Because I don't think that raccoon ever left us. 237 00:08:12,447 --> 00:08:14,814 Will do, uh, so... so real quick, 238 00:08:14,816 --> 00:08:16,182 and I hate to even mention this, 239 00:08:16,184 --> 00:08:18,017 but I think there's, like, a store policy 240 00:08:18,019 --> 00:08:19,785 against hanging flyers. 241 00:08:19,787 --> 00:08:22,388 Yeah, I'm not, like, looking for a new bassist 242 00:08:22,390 --> 00:08:24,724 for my punk band; I think this is fine. 243 00:08:24,726 --> 00:08:26,459 Right, right, of course. 244 00:08:26,461 --> 00:08:30,763 But there really is a policy. 245 00:08:30,765 --> 00:08:32,164 Yeah, you just said that. 246 00:08:32,166 --> 00:08:35,968 But I'm now trying to do a better job of saying it. 247 00:08:41,342 --> 00:08:42,842 Condolence cards, huh? 248 00:08:42,844 --> 00:08:44,777 Bummer. Who died? 249 00:08:44,779 --> 00:08:46,278 Uh, a friend of mine. 250 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,547 Hmm. You don't look very upset. 251 00:08:48,549 --> 00:08:50,416 Probably not that good a friend. 252 00:08:50,418 --> 00:08:52,284 Can I see a death certificate? 253 00:08:52,286 --> 00:08:53,986 I-I don't think I need a death certificate 254 00:08:53,988 --> 00:08:55,154 just to buy a card. 255 00:08:55,156 --> 00:08:56,422 Well, well, well. 256 00:08:56,424 --> 00:08:59,525 Look who knows a lot about Cloud 9 store policies. 257 00:08:59,527 --> 00:09:00,726 What was your friend's name? 258 00:09:00,728 --> 00:09:01,894 - I don't understand... - How did he die? 259 00:09:01,896 --> 00:09:03,395 What did he love? What kind of music was he into? 260 00:09:03,397 --> 00:09:04,897 Billy Joel? Everybody's into Billy Joel. 261 00:09:04,899 --> 00:09:06,298 Was he a vegetarian or normal? 262 00:09:06,300 --> 00:09:07,566 The kind of guy you trust with a lot of money or... 263 00:09:07,568 --> 00:09:08,901 Enough, all right? 264 00:09:08,903 --> 00:09:12,204 I see what you're doing, and you're right. 265 00:09:12,206 --> 00:09:14,306 By the end, I didn't really know him anymore. 266 00:09:14,308 --> 00:09:16,776 May... maybe I never really knew him. 267 00:09:16,778 --> 00:09:18,244 The point is, I wasn't there for him 268 00:09:18,246 --> 00:09:20,146 when he needed me the most. 269 00:09:22,717 --> 00:09:24,383 Hmm. 270 00:09:26,821 --> 00:09:29,355 Funny. You don't look Jewish. 271 00:09:32,727 --> 00:09:34,560 Mateo. 272 00:09:34,562 --> 00:09:36,228 What you doing in here? 273 00:09:36,230 --> 00:09:37,530 I'm investigating. 274 00:09:37,532 --> 00:09:39,532 What if there is no secret shopper? 275 00:09:39,534 --> 00:09:41,333 You ever think that corporate is spying on us 276 00:09:41,335 --> 00:09:42,735 with a secret employee? 277 00:09:42,737 --> 00:09:46,672 Well, no, but now that's all I can think about. 278 00:09:46,674 --> 00:09:48,240 You notice how Jonah 279 00:09:48,242 --> 00:09:50,442 never talks about what he was doing before this job? 280 00:09:50,444 --> 00:09:53,846 Well, sure, but I just figured he was a criminal. 281 00:09:53,848 --> 00:09:56,749 You'd be surprised how many of our employees have been. 282 00:09:56,751 --> 00:09:59,218 I mean, I've always wondered why an educated, 283 00:09:59,220 --> 00:10:01,353 privileged pretty boy would decide to work here. 284 00:10:01,355 --> 00:10:04,790 And then I noticed Jonah's car has Illinois plates. 285 00:10:04,792 --> 00:10:05,958 Oh. 286 00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:08,060 Do you know what else is in Illinois? 287 00:10:08,062 --> 00:10:11,564 Oh, soybeans. 288 00:10:11,566 --> 00:10:13,265 Cloud 9 headquarters. 289 00:10:13,267 --> 00:10:14,800 Oh! 290 00:10:14,802 --> 00:10:17,269 I mean, now it makes sense how he beat my score 291 00:10:17,271 --> 00:10:19,972 on that test; He probably wrote the test. 292 00:10:19,974 --> 00:10:22,641 Okay. Let's keep this under our hats. 293 00:10:22,643 --> 00:10:27,046 I don't want anyone to start acting weird around him. 294 00:10:33,988 --> 00:10:37,590 Jonah, do you know why I called you in here? 295 00:10:37,592 --> 00:10:40,392 Uh, no. 296 00:10:40,394 --> 00:10:41,460 Am I in trouble? 297 00:10:41,462 --> 00:10:43,996 As if. 298 00:10:45,399 --> 00:10:47,600 Why? Am I in trouble? 299 00:10:47,602 --> 00:10:51,737 Um, I-I don't think so. 300 00:10:51,739 --> 00:10:54,139 Whew. That's a relief. 301 00:10:54,141 --> 00:10:57,209 - Yeah. - So, um... 302 00:10:57,211 --> 00:11:00,546 I'm just gonna come out and say it. 303 00:11:00,548 --> 00:11:03,249 You know, I think I deserve a raise. 304 00:11:03,251 --> 00:11:05,217 - Absolutely. - Really? 305 00:11:05,219 --> 00:11:07,219 Yeah. A big one. 306 00:11:07,221 --> 00:11:10,389 Would you be willing to tell people about that? 307 00:11:10,391 --> 00:11:12,191 Am I? Sure, yeah. 308 00:11:12,193 --> 00:11:15,427 I'll definitely... I'll tell whoever you want, yeah. 309 00:11:15,429 --> 00:11:17,963 Oh, my God. 310 00:11:17,965 --> 00:11:20,466 I-I don't know... 311 00:11:20,468 --> 00:11:22,201 You... you... 312 00:11:22,203 --> 00:11:24,837 I'm so glad we had this conversation. 313 00:11:24,839 --> 00:11:25,839 Yeah. 314 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:28,374 I keep a tin of candies in here 315 00:11:28,376 --> 00:11:32,278 for special occasions. 316 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:34,246 They are wickedly sour. 317 00:11:43,257 --> 00:11:45,424 What? Didn't he... 318 00:11:45,426 --> 00:11:47,326 Just like a regular Joe, huh? 319 00:11:47,395 --> 00:11:49,295 You're gonna have to do better than that. 320 00:11:49,296 --> 00:11:50,396 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 321 00:11:50,431 --> 00:11:51,431 I think I got that... 322 00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:52,634 Let's talk about why you need 323 00:11:52,635 --> 00:11:54,034 each of those items in that basket. 324 00:11:54,035 --> 00:11:56,602 Excuse me, Dina? Have you seen Jonah? 325 00:11:56,604 --> 00:11:58,037 Last time I saw that little piece, 326 00:11:58,039 --> 00:12:00,372 he was talking to Glenn in his office. 327 00:12:01,542 --> 00:12:03,575 God, you smell like you're from Chicago. 328 00:12:07,048 --> 00:12:10,049 Will Jonah please report to Patio immediately? 329 00:12:10,051 --> 00:12:11,183 I repeat... 330 00:12:11,185 --> 00:12:12,151 Jonah to Patio... 331 00:12:12,153 --> 00:12:13,352 One second. 332 00:12:13,354 --> 00:12:14,987 Immediately! 333 00:12:14,989 --> 00:12:18,657 Okay. I'm on my way. 334 00:12:18,659 --> 00:12:22,428 Make sure that you actually are. 335 00:12:22,430 --> 00:12:24,596 I just said I am. 336 00:12:24,598 --> 00:12:27,166 Yes, but sometimes you say you're going to do things, 337 00:12:27,168 --> 00:12:28,600 and then you don't. 338 00:12:28,602 --> 00:12:30,970 Why don't we have this discussion in person? 339 00:12:30,972 --> 00:12:32,805 Given that you just started working here... 340 00:12:32,807 --> 00:12:34,373 What is going on? 341 00:12:34,375 --> 00:12:36,175 Maybe you shouldn't tell me how to do my job. 342 00:12:36,177 --> 00:12:38,010 Or maybe you should leave the intercom open 343 00:12:38,012 --> 00:12:39,845 for more important announcements. 344 00:12:39,847 --> 00:12:42,848 No, you guys go wild. I never want this to end. 345 00:12:42,850 --> 00:12:44,516 I am your supervisor. 346 00:12:44,518 --> 00:12:46,251 Don't think you know this job better than me 347 00:12:46,253 --> 00:12:48,620 just because you did well on some stupid test. 348 00:12:48,622 --> 00:12:50,622 The test doesn't make me think I know better. 349 00:12:50,624 --> 00:12:53,625 The test is empirical proof that I do know better. 350 00:12:53,627 --> 00:12:55,627 Attention, Cloud 9 shoppers. 351 00:12:55,629 --> 00:12:58,597 Dildos are on sale for 69 cents in aisle 69. 352 00:12:58,599 --> 00:13:00,599 Hey, bozo, we're using the intercom! 353 00:13:00,601 --> 00:13:01,934 Get off! 354 00:13:01,936 --> 00:13:03,602 Why don't you take your own advice? 355 00:13:03,604 --> 00:13:04,870 Baba Booey, Baba Booey! 356 00:13:04,872 --> 00:13:07,139 Howard Stern for president! 357 00:13:07,141 --> 00:13:08,807 Hey, I need that! 358 00:13:08,809 --> 00:13:11,977 - Penis, penis, penis! - Karen Figoletto is a skank! 359 00:13:11,979 --> 00:13:13,979 Actually, kid, that's a lot more insightful 360 00:13:13,981 --> 00:13:15,881 than anything Jonah's got to say today. 361 00:13:15,883 --> 00:13:18,083 Our manager seems to think I'm very insightful. 362 00:13:18,085 --> 00:13:19,485 Yes, that's because 363 00:13:19,487 --> 00:13:22,488 you're a little ass-kissing face. 364 00:13:22,490 --> 00:13:24,056 Oh... 365 00:13:26,394 --> 00:13:27,626 Have a heavenly day. 366 00:13:30,761 --> 00:13:33,463 I don't understand what's gotten into you. 367 00:13:33,465 --> 00:13:35,732 You're just lucky that Jonah doesn't take 368 00:13:35,734 --> 00:13:38,267 these kinds of things personally. 369 00:13:38,719 --> 00:13:39,785 Jonah? 370 00:13:39,787 --> 00:13:41,587 Do you know what he said to me 371 00:13:41,589 --> 00:13:44,123 when I asked him if he was going to fire you? 372 00:13:44,125 --> 00:13:46,360 He said, "I can't do that." 373 00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:47,793 'Cause he can't. 374 00:13:47,795 --> 00:13:50,162 I'm his boss. 375 00:13:50,164 --> 00:13:51,797 Oh, right. 376 00:13:51,799 --> 00:13:55,000 You are saying something that is true to you. 377 00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:57,970 Oh, sorry. 378 00:13:57,972 --> 00:14:01,573 Yeah? Sweetie, great news. 379 00:14:01,575 --> 00:14:03,875 I'm getting a raise! 380 00:14:03,877 --> 00:14:05,844 There'll be money for the houseboat 381 00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:07,379 and for your mom's surgery. 382 00:14:07,381 --> 00:14:09,014 - Hey, Glenn? - Hmm? 383 00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:11,183 - Can I get back to work? - Yeah. 384 00:14:11,185 --> 00:14:13,018 Just play nice with Jonah. 385 00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:14,786 Unless you want to spend the rest of your day 386 00:14:14,788 --> 00:14:16,922 doing backbreaking work in the stockroom. 387 00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,532 Very convincing. 388 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,234 What do you mean, Dear? 389 00:14:29,236 --> 00:14:30,902 What I mean, "Dear," 390 00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:32,771 is, if you'd just stayed in Pharmacy, 391 00:14:32,773 --> 00:14:34,740 I wouldn't have batted an eye. 392 00:14:34,742 --> 00:14:37,376 But no one your age is throwing their money away on a new bed. 393 00:14:37,378 --> 00:14:39,444 I mean, let's be honest. 394 00:14:39,446 --> 00:14:41,747 How many years of sleeping do you even have left? 395 00:14:41,749 --> 00:14:43,815 I don't know what's happening here. 396 00:14:43,817 --> 00:14:45,150 I'll tell you what's happening. 397 00:14:45,152 --> 00:14:47,452 Your cover's been blown, sweetheart. 398 00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:49,588 Hello, Chicago. 399 00:14:49,590 --> 00:14:52,224 I'm not stupid. 400 00:14:53,594 --> 00:14:56,261 Oh. 401 00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:58,897 Hey, so, uh... 402 00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:01,500 Things got a little out of hand back there. 403 00:15:01,502 --> 00:15:03,368 Yeah. 404 00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:05,837 Is this your way of apologizing? 405 00:15:05,839 --> 00:15:07,506 No, that was me giving you 406 00:15:07,508 --> 00:15:09,274 the chance to apologize to me. 407 00:15:09,276 --> 00:15:10,776 Oh. 408 00:15:10,778 --> 00:15:12,210 Okay, thank you. 409 00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:16,214 Um, is there anything else I can help you with? 410 00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:20,052 We're out of Nosey the Anteater. 411 00:15:20,054 --> 00:15:22,220 - It's a plush toy... - Yeah, I know who Nosey is. 412 00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:23,622 I'll get him. 413 00:15:32,230 --> 00:15:33,897 Do you, um... do you need a hand... 414 00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:35,667 No, no. No. No, thank you. 415 00:15:35,669 --> 00:15:37,335 I know how to operate a forklift. 416 00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:38,804 It's just been a while, 417 00:15:38,806 --> 00:15:41,339 and I don't remember there being so many levers. 418 00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:43,341 Why are they always improving things? 419 00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:45,644 Are you sure you don't want any help? 420 00:15:45,646 --> 00:15:48,213 Because I've been studying the manual for my certification. 421 00:15:48,215 --> 00:15:50,582 Oh, that's great, but, you know, 422 00:15:50,584 --> 00:15:52,651 sometimes you can memorize a textbook for something 423 00:15:52,653 --> 00:15:55,854 and still not know how to do it in real life, so... 424 00:15:55,856 --> 00:15:58,457 Okay. Have at it. 425 00:16:05,232 --> 00:16:06,264 Oh! 426 00:16:10,771 --> 00:16:13,472 Okay, Ace, why don't you give it a shot? 427 00:16:13,474 --> 00:16:16,808 Garrett, what up? 428 00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:17,976 Have you seen Jonah? 429 00:16:17,978 --> 00:16:19,277 I got some meatballs 430 00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:22,080 from that place he always calls "an unassuming gem." 431 00:16:22,082 --> 00:16:23,782 Why are you getting meatballs for Jonah? 432 00:16:23,784 --> 00:16:29,087 Because Jonah is a secret employee. 433 00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:30,489 What? 434 00:16:30,491 --> 00:16:32,924 No. 435 00:16:32,926 --> 00:16:36,261 Bad news, though. Jonah hates meatballs. 436 00:16:36,263 --> 00:16:37,863 - What? - Doesn't like 'em. 437 00:16:37,865 --> 00:16:38,930 You know what he does like? 438 00:16:38,932 --> 00:16:40,132 He likes cakes 439 00:16:40,134 --> 00:16:41,666 from that bakery down on Birch. 440 00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:42,801 The one you're always talking about? 441 00:16:42,803 --> 00:16:44,003 Mm-hmm, yeah. That same one. 442 00:16:44,004 --> 00:16:45,170 Jonah likes it too. Jonah likes it too. 443 00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:46,338 Okay. 444 00:16:46,340 --> 00:16:47,806 He loves the cakes with coconut on them. 445 00:16:47,808 --> 00:16:49,141 Okay, coconut cake, bakery on Birch. 446 00:16:49,143 --> 00:16:50,642 None of that white chocolate stuff. 447 00:16:50,644 --> 00:16:53,111 - Got it, I'm on it. - That's what I'm talking about. 448 00:16:57,484 --> 00:17:00,852 You're a secret shopper, aren't you? 449 00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:03,288 That's cool. I won't tell. 450 00:17:03,290 --> 00:17:05,790 Maybe this does something... 451 00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:07,592 - Um... 452 00:17:07,594 --> 00:17:09,060 - No. No. - I don't think that's it. 453 00:17:09,062 --> 00:17:10,829 - Okay, okay. - Turn it off. 454 00:17:10,831 --> 00:17:12,664 - Sorry, not this! - Turn it off! 455 00:17:12,666 --> 00:17:15,300 Okay! 456 00:17:15,302 --> 00:17:16,568 Okay, your turn. 457 00:17:19,072 --> 00:17:20,238 Stop! Stop! 458 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:21,240 - Stop! - Oh! 459 00:17:22,576 --> 00:17:23,909 The printers are right underneath... 460 00:17:23,911 --> 00:17:25,377 - They're crushing the... - Oh, okay, okay. 461 00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:29,214 - Cool? - No, not cool! 462 00:17:31,318 --> 00:17:33,118 I'm spinning! 463 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:34,719 Okay, all right. 464 00:17:36,523 --> 00:17:37,923 Turn... I'm not touching anything! 465 00:17:37,925 --> 00:17:39,724 - It's just going! - Stop turning. 466 00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:42,727 - Like this? - God, oh, God. 467 00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:44,162 Amy! 468 00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:49,167 Yes! 469 00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:50,602 It's all coming back to me. 470 00:17:50,604 --> 00:17:52,137 It's like riding a four-ton bicycle. 471 00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:54,673 You hear that? 472 00:17:54,675 --> 00:17:56,841 That's the sound of victory. 473 00:17:56,843 --> 00:17:58,677 No, no, no, no! You have to raise... 474 00:18:02,683 --> 00:18:04,182 Wah! 475 00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:06,985 Oh! 476 00:18:06,987 --> 00:18:09,454 Well. 477 00:18:26,044 --> 00:18:28,645 So is there anything you want to talk about? 478 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:32,916 Or should we just continue to destroy the stockroom? 479 00:18:38,323 --> 00:18:40,457 Look, I haven't told anyone here this 480 00:18:40,492 --> 00:18:41,958 because it would be really embarrassing 481 00:18:41,994 --> 00:18:43,293 if it didn't work out, 482 00:18:43,328 --> 00:18:46,296 but I've started taking college courses. 483 00:18:46,331 --> 00:18:47,331 Well, that's... 484 00:18:47,332 --> 00:18:48,465 If anything you're about to say 485 00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:50,233 includes the words "brave," "courageous," 486 00:18:50,268 --> 00:18:54,437 or "girl power," please don't talk. 487 00:18:54,473 --> 00:18:57,040 So it was a little annoying 488 00:18:57,075 --> 00:19:00,310 when you started rubbing that stupid test in my face 489 00:19:00,345 --> 00:19:02,646 as if it meant you were smarter than me or something. 490 00:19:02,681 --> 00:19:04,280 I don't think I'm smarter than you. 491 00:19:04,316 --> 00:19:06,116 I know you're not smarter than me. 492 00:19:06,151 --> 00:19:08,485 That's what's so annoying. 493 00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:10,086 You're just one of those guys 494 00:19:10,122 --> 00:19:12,789 that things seem to work out for. 495 00:19:18,230 --> 00:19:21,865 I flunked out of business school... 496 00:19:21,900 --> 00:19:24,501 In Chicago. 497 00:19:24,536 --> 00:19:25,816 I didn't want to be there anyway. 498 00:19:25,837 --> 00:19:26,870 It was stupid. 499 00:19:26,905 --> 00:19:28,672 I was just 28 and trying to figure out 500 00:19:28,707 --> 00:19:30,407 what I wanted to do with my life. 501 00:19:30,442 --> 00:19:32,542 And apparently what I wanted to do with my life 502 00:19:32,577 --> 00:19:35,478 was rack up a whole bunch of debt. 503 00:19:35,514 --> 00:19:37,547 So what'd you do? 504 00:19:37,582 --> 00:19:40,350 I took a long drive. 505 00:19:40,385 --> 00:19:42,552 And then I wanted a snack, 506 00:19:42,587 --> 00:19:45,522 and so I stopped at this random store in St. Louis 507 00:19:45,557 --> 00:19:48,825 and saw they were hiring, and... 508 00:19:51,063 --> 00:19:53,296 Wow. 509 00:19:53,331 --> 00:19:57,167 You know, if you weren't my boss, 510 00:19:57,202 --> 00:20:00,704 I would say we should just get up and walk away 511 00:20:00,739 --> 00:20:02,572 like we didn't know any of this happened. 512 00:20:02,607 --> 00:20:04,541 Yeah, right. 513 00:20:07,746 --> 00:20:10,847 Although, these bolts are pretty rusty. 514 00:20:10,882 --> 00:20:12,716 They could have totally fallen by themselves. 515 00:20:12,751 --> 00:20:15,051 You are preaching to the choir. 516 00:20:15,087 --> 00:20:16,920 Um, Jonah? Jonah. 517 00:20:16,955 --> 00:20:17,955 Jonah! 518 00:20:22,227 --> 00:20:24,494 - Oh! Get out of the way! - Get out of the way! 519 00:20:27,733 --> 00:20:28,733 Oh! 520 00:20:30,102 --> 00:20:31,468 Hey, all things considered, 521 00:20:31,503 --> 00:20:33,570 I think you handled that pretty well. 522 00:20:33,605 --> 00:20:36,773 I got to hand it to that guy. He's good. 523 00:20:36,808 --> 00:20:38,942 I wouldn't be surprised if he had CIA training. 524 00:20:38,977 --> 00:20:40,944 Spent a little time at The Farm. 525 00:20:40,979 --> 00:20:42,499 You know they just sent the same guy 526 00:20:42,514 --> 00:20:43,780 they did last time, right? 527 00:20:43,815 --> 00:20:45,949 So what does this mean for us? 528 00:20:45,984 --> 00:20:48,118 Well, luckily, we still scored pretty well 529 00:20:48,153 --> 00:20:50,320 compared to Richmond Heights. 530 00:20:50,355 --> 00:20:52,822 Turns out they had a meth lab in their basement, 531 00:20:52,858 --> 00:20:54,178 which, turns out, was just a front 532 00:20:54,192 --> 00:20:55,492 for a dog fighting ring. 533 00:20:55,527 --> 00:20:57,293 - Shh, shh, shh, shh. 534 00:20:57,329 --> 00:20:58,962 This is my favorite part. 535 00:20:58,997 --> 00:21:01,030 What? What's wrong with you? 536 00:21:01,066 --> 00:21:02,546 I know a camera when I see a camera. 537 00:21:02,567 --> 00:21:04,033 - Come on! - You're crazy. 538 00:21:05,670 --> 00:21:07,737 Man, the camera loves me.