1
00:00:08,977 --> 00:00:12,359
You said that. OK. You guys,
he's being very annoying

2
00:00:12,384 --> 00:00:15,742
Uh, Shelly, would you ever
have sex with me and then lie to

3
00:00:15,767 --> 00:00:17,453
me immediately afterwards?

4
00:00:17,477 --> 00:00:21,687
Oh, no, sweetie. I get all
my lying done beforehand.

5
00:00:22,751 --> 00:00:24,882
I mean there's still a few
girls in Detroit who think

6
00:00:24,907 --> 00:00:27,226
they had sex with Cleveland
from "Family Guy."

7
00:00:29,342 --> 00:00:33,226
Okay. I want Danny to spend time with
my son. He promised that he would

8
00:00:33,251 --> 00:00:36,015
and now he's trying to pull
out. Guys pulling out, that's

9
00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:38,164
how I ended up with a
kid in the first place.

10
00:00:38,865 --> 00:00:41,726
All right fine. I'll do it. It's not fair.
You asked me in the middle

11
00:00:41,751 --> 00:00:47,429
of sex. I was like: "Uh, uh, uh, uh...
OK, I'll take your son to Dave & Buster's."

12
00:00:49,768 --> 00:00:51,768
Okay guys, quick announcement.

13
00:00:51,793 --> 00:00:55,070
It's a new year and I wanted
to spice things up a little bit,

14
00:00:55,095 --> 00:00:59,367
so I decided to dye my hair
red and then I chickened out.

15
00:01:00,382 --> 00:01:03,703
Thank God. Because red hair is the worst.

16
00:01:04,157 --> 00:01:10,015
However, I did convince
Candace to do it. Yeah!

17
00:01:17,135 --> 00:01:20,601
I love it. No. I love it. It's so good.

18
00:01:20,648 --> 00:01:24,367
It's like a... like a nice warm
bowl of tomato soup.

19
00:01:24,831 --> 00:01:28,484
If I had a grilled cheese, I would
just dunk it on your head.

20
00:01:29,832 --> 00:01:34,101
No I love it. Like your whole head's
on fire. I love you, fire-head.

21
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:37,929
Yeah. All right, Brett,
I'm going to kill you.

22
00:01:37,954 --> 00:01:41,000
- What do you have against red hair?
- I love redheads.

23
00:01:41,025 --> 00:01:44,265
When you sleep with them, it's like
putting a fire out with your penis.

24
00:01:53,772 --> 00:01:57,164
Just look. The first time my
dad cheated on my mom he was

25
00:01:57,189 --> 00:01:59,554
- dressed as Ronald McDonald.
- What?

26
00:01:59,578 --> 00:02:02,070
It was a Halloween party at our house.

27
00:02:02,095 --> 00:02:06,148
And I walked in on
him and our neighbour, Mrs. Hector.

28
00:02:06,378 --> 00:02:10,250
She was a rough-looking woman.
Bus driver hair, gap tooth,

29
00:02:10,275 --> 00:02:14,312
cigarette. Voice that could match a Muppet.

30
00:02:15,473 --> 00:02:17,618
Anyway, do you want to know
who was in my happy meal?

31
00:02:17,643 --> 00:02:19,430
You want to know what
prize I grew up with?

32
00:02:19,455 --> 00:02:20,976
Being
raised by a single mom.

33
00:02:21,001 --> 00:02:23,898
You know what? I don't need red
hair today. I don't need that

34
00:02:23,923 --> 00:02:28,070
- distraction, please.
- Hey man, why are you freaking out?

35
00:02:28,095 --> 00:02:30,765
I'm not freaking out This isn't freaking
out. I'm being normal.

36
00:02:30,790 --> 00:02:33,296
I just need everything to be perfect
so I can surprise Candace.

37
00:02:33,328 --> 00:02:38,179
- Ooh. Surprise me now.
- What the hell.

38
00:02:39,583 --> 00:02:43,976
Sweetie, remember when we, uh, first met?
Remember that song that was playing?

39
00:02:44,001 --> 00:02:50,296
- Yeah, of course.
- ♪ You are my fire ♪

40
00:02:50,321 --> 00:02:56,734
♪ my one desire believe ♪

41
00:02:57,114 --> 00:03:04,117
♪ when I say I want it that way ♪

42
00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:08,742
- ♪ tell me why ♪
- ♪ ain't nothing but a heartache ♪

43
00:03:08,767 --> 00:03:13,148
- ♪ tell me why ♪
- ♪ ain't nothing but a mistake ♪

44
00:03:13,173 --> 00:03:18,429
- ♪ tell me why ♪
- ♪ I never wanna hear you say ♪

45
00:03:18,454 --> 00:03:29,023
- ♪ I want it that way ♪
- ♪ 'cause I want it that way ♪

46
00:03:35,662 --> 00:03:41,468
That's so awesome! What are the
Backstreet Boys doing here?

47
00:03:43,463 --> 00:03:46,140
We're in Detroit doing
a fundraiser. Oh, really?

48
00:03:46,165 --> 00:03:48,781
- For who?
- Us.

49
00:03:50,722 --> 00:03:54,953
Good one, dangerous one in
the Backstreet Boys. Hey.

50
00:03:58,321 --> 00:04:00,812
I could not believe you

51
00:04:00,837 --> 00:04:05,320
guys are here. When I was a kid,
I humped all of your posters.

52
00:04:05,715 --> 00:04:09,234
Wow, really? Which one
of us was your favourite?

53
00:04:12,882 --> 00:04:16,687
OK. OK. Don't make a fool of yourself.

54
00:04:26,762 --> 00:04:31,265
- Hey.
- These are my friends!

55
00:04:31,289 --> 00:04:35,875
Anyway. Yeah, good one.
Almost beard to beard. Nice.

56
00:04:36,786 --> 00:04:41,031
No. Justin actually wrote us a letter
asking for a simple favor. So...

57
00:04:41,056 --> 00:04:45,429
- Yeah, you're on, buddy.
- Don't blow it, dude.

58
00:04:45,706 --> 00:04:46,648
I won't.

59
00:04:54,996 --> 00:04:58,250
Are all the Backstreet boys
taking a poo together?

60
00:05:01,219 --> 00:05:08,757
Uh, Candace I, I believe that when you
meet the person that you're supposed to

61
00:05:08,782 --> 00:05:13,140
of your life with, you shouldn't wait
around. You should just know it and

62
00:05:13,165 --> 00:05:17,640
go for it. So with that said...

63
00:05:17,665 --> 00:05:19,757
Holy crap balls!

64
00:05:19,782 --> 00:05:24,867
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- I love you.

65
00:05:26,009 --> 00:05:32,695
You're the most beautiful person I've
ever met. Even with ridiculous red hair.

66
00:05:34,969 --> 00:05:40,765
- Candace, will you marry me?
- Yes.

67
00:05:49,984 --> 00:05:53,321
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --

68
00:05:53,345 --> 00:05:56,634
_

69
00:07:16,143 --> 00:07:20,612
So you know how my mom calls us
Jay-Z and and Beyoncé because

70
00:07:20,637 --> 00:07:25,675
I've got the great moves and
now that I'm engaged I can do this.

71
00:07:26,901 --> 00:07:32,682
- You do the all the sick rap rhymes.
- All the time.

72
00:07:32,707 --> 00:07:35,362
I love rhyme. Is that a
crime? Every time I climb a

73
00:07:35,387 --> 00:07:37,211
Mountain you make me cry.
But it doesn't matter

74
00:07:37,236 --> 00:07:39,059
because I pull off some
lines and make you cry

75
00:07:39,082 --> 00:07:41,901
because I love you so much. M'mm.
You're mine.

76
00:07:44,065 --> 00:07:47,667
Baby, sell the bar. Let's
take it on the road.

77
00:07:47,863 --> 00:07:54,096
Anyway, so now that we're engaged,
she's calling us Jay-Z and Fiancé.

78
00:07:59,887 --> 00:08:02,878
- Not really that funny, is it?
- No

79
00:08:06,985 --> 00:08:10,089
♪ Danny's back ♪

80
00:08:11,364 --> 00:08:14,253
♪ all right hey ♪

81
00:08:17,409 --> 00:08:21,948
Danny? Why do you have
a child on your head?

82
00:08:23,957 --> 00:08:28,886
Good, he's still there.
This is Will, Charlotte's kid.

83
00:08:28,911 --> 00:08:30,940
Oh. Hey, big guy.

84
00:08:31,924 --> 00:08:36,729
Yeah. He doesn't really talk that
much. It's made bonding awesome.

85
00:08:37,730 --> 00:08:39,503
So what does he like?

86
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:42,865
Well, I kind of just gathered
that so far he likes sitting on

87
00:08:42,891 --> 00:08:45,886
people's shoulders and sneezing
on the top of my head, so...

88
00:08:47,639 --> 00:08:52,284
Okay. Well, um, I'm gonna go.
Will, it was really nice to meet you.

89
00:08:52,309 --> 00:08:53,761
Can I get a high-five?

90
00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:59,565
- No? OK.
- All right.

91
00:09:00,308 --> 00:09:06,987
Anyway, should we go show off to all
of Detroit? My ring says yes. Yoohoo!

92
00:09:09,467 --> 00:09:13,151
Dude, I can't believe you
didn't tell me about proposing.

93
00:09:13,801 --> 00:09:15,870
Give me a break. I didn't tell anyone.

94
00:09:15,894 --> 00:09:17,854
Well, you told Backstreet Boys

95
00:09:19,714 --> 00:09:22,151
You didn't tell me and I'm your
emotional guidance counsellor.

96
00:09:22,176 --> 00:09:24,807
You know it's like I'm your sensei.

97
00:09:27,757 --> 00:09:30,362
I don't speak
Japanese and neither do you.

98
00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:43,714
Anyway, see this is the kind
of thing we need to cherish. Okay?

99
00:09:43,739 --> 00:09:45,956
Our banter. Our back
and forth. It's awesome.

100
00:09:45,981 --> 00:09:49,932
We've got to love this while we can
because you're engaged and we may only be

101
00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:53,136
be living together another
7, 8, 9, 10 years.

102
00:09:55,106 --> 00:10:02,526
- Who's engaged for 11 years?
- Turtles.

103
00:10:12,063 --> 00:10:17,128
OK. I didn't... I didn't know
7-year-olds can improv like that.

104
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:29,440
Actually, since Candace has her house we
thought it might be romantic if I moved

105
00:10:29,465 --> 00:10:32,253
- in on Valentine's day.
- Valentine's day? That's in two weeks.

106
00:10:32,278 --> 00:10:37,503
Give me the sandwich, Will. Hold my beer.
I need to talk like an old Italian lady.

107
00:10:37,700 --> 00:10:40,643
What are you talking about?

108
00:10:41,065 --> 00:10:43,633
Is there something you're
not telling me? Are you pregnant?

109
00:10:43,822 --> 00:10:46,277
Did Candace put a baby in you?

110
00:10:46,624 --> 00:10:49,698
I know you're joking but I
would happily carry that baby.

111
00:10:49,723 --> 00:10:53,339
Morning sickness, stretch
marks. I want it all.

112
00:10:54,168 --> 00:10:58,879
There's a point. I think it's a little
weird Especially you. Look, I get it.

113
00:10:58,903 --> 00:11:02,792
You feel like I'm breaking up the best
on-screen duo since "Will & Grace."

114
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:06,612
I just want to make sure you're
not bummed out. I'm not bummed.

115
00:11:06,637 --> 00:11:09,995
I'm totally cool. Hey, whose
Twitter handle is cool Danny? Hm?

116
00:11:10,341 --> 00:11:12,667
Not mine. Not mine. You know why?

117
00:11:12,692 --> 00:11:14,534
I'm too cool for that.

118
00:11:17,731 --> 00:11:21,323
Ah. That sucks.

119
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:27,089
Danny. Yes, my sweet little Will?

120
00:11:28,414 --> 00:11:30,323
Don't be a bitch.

121
00:11:45,941 --> 00:11:48,265
Oh. I can't wait to dance at your wedding.

122
00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:51,710
You know, when I was younger, I almost got
engaged but her brother talked me out of it

123
00:11:51,735 --> 00:11:52,718
Really? What did he say?

124
00:11:52,743 --> 00:11:56,398
He said, "Brett, you have a
beautiful penis" and... Dip.

125
00:11:58,238 --> 00:12:02,242
Woo! OK, guys. Help me out.
What should I do for my wedding?

126
00:12:02,267 --> 00:12:06,234
I don't know where to begin.
Charlotte, what did you do

127
00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:08,632
for your wedding? Was it like a fairy tale?

128
00:12:08,657 --> 00:12:11,601
My wedding was exactly like a fairy tale.

129
00:12:11,625 --> 00:12:17,687
Um, once upon a time there
was a princess with low self esteem...

130
00:12:18,278 --> 00:12:20,960
And terrible taste in men.

131
00:12:21,461 --> 00:12:28,257
She went to Las Vegas and
ate some magic beans.

132
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:33,890
Then she married an
evil ogre named Mark.

133
00:12:33,915 --> 00:12:38,945
Mark put a baby in her,
and ruined her credit.

134
00:12:41,399 --> 00:12:48,156
12 weeks later a wizard named Jeff,
the divorce attorney, annulled her mistake.

135
00:12:48,399 --> 00:12:49,898
The end.

136
00:12:54,677 --> 00:13:00,523
OK. Um, I'm surprised.
But just so you guys know

137
00:13:00,548 --> 00:13:04,070
you're all going to be in my wedding
party. Except for you, Charlotte.

138
00:13:04,095 --> 00:13:06,859
- I'm sorry. I just met you.
- Oh, you know, that's fine.

139
00:13:06,884 --> 00:13:09,609
I'll just uh, I'll come to the next one.

140
00:13:11,759 --> 00:13:15,414
Oh, hey Bursk, Les, I'm assuming you guys
want to be each other's plus ones because

141
00:13:15,439 --> 00:13:21,101
- you know, smooch buddies.
- No, no, stop. No cute winks.

142
00:13:21,125 --> 00:13:23,617
Come on, you guys. We went on one date.

143
00:13:23,642 --> 00:13:25,570
I know how much you
guys like to gossip about

144
00:13:25,595 --> 00:13:27,304
everything but we don't want
to talk about this at all.

145
00:13:27,329 --> 00:13:29,531
As far as you're concerned
we're not even dating.

146
00:13:29,556 --> 00:13:35,781
- Okay, is that how you feel, Bursk?
- I was instructed to feel that way.

147
00:13:37,606 --> 00:13:44,804
This day is so perfect. I mean yeah,
sometimes I do think about a different ring

148
00:13:45,233 --> 00:13:49,203
Oh, because the diamond Justin's
got you is so tiny and ridiculous?

149
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:53,835
- No, I love it.
- Oh, yeah. Me too! It's so perfect!

150
00:13:55,069 --> 00:13:59,554
No. It's just because I kind of
wish I had my grandmother's ring.

151
00:13:59,687 --> 00:14:00,765
What happened to it?

152
00:14:00,789 --> 00:14:04,249
My boyfriend Trent, he pawned
it to buy protein powder.

153
00:14:06,598 --> 00:14:12,906
I loved my grandma. It's really
all that I had left of her...

154
00:14:14,534 --> 00:14:17,781
Oh, I know what this is.
You're trying to manipulate

155
00:14:17,806 --> 00:14:19,999
me to try to go get that ring
back by using your sad face.

156
00:14:20,024 --> 00:14:23,257
But I'm sorry, sweetie.
It's not gonna work on me.

157
00:14:24,421 --> 00:14:26,421
I'm not buying it.

158
00:14:28,748 --> 00:14:30,109
No!

159
00:14:30,977 --> 00:14:33,429
We're gonna get you that ring back!

160
00:14:37,921 --> 00:14:42,734
Danny is such a jerk. From now on
nobody named Danny allowed in this bar.

161
00:14:43,276 --> 00:14:45,312
My name is Danny.

162
00:14:45,988 --> 00:14:48,265
Oh. I'm sorry, man. I was
talking about my room-mate.

163
00:14:48,289 --> 00:14:50,664
Get the hell out of here Danny! You drunk!!

164
00:14:50,961 --> 00:14:52,961
***

165
00:14:53,390 --> 00:14:56,351
***

166
00:14:58,107 --> 00:15:01,390
- What's wrong with him?
- Oh, Danny was so mean to him

167
00:15:01,415 --> 00:15:04,093
this morning. I can
still totally picture it.

168
00:15:07,882 --> 00:15:11,890
So it all started when Justin, he woke up.

169
00:15:11,915 --> 00:15:16,539
He was in a great mood. He was
like, man, I love being in love, man.

170
00:15:16,564 --> 00:15:20,382
I just love it. Makes
me wanna do the moonwalk.

171
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:26,039
I could do the moonwalk. I could get
jiggy with it. I could... I could spin.

172
00:15:26,064 --> 00:15:29,421
I could jump. I could dance
for days and days but I'm not.

173
00:15:29,446 --> 00:15:32,210
I'm just gonna stand completely
still. Completely still.

174
00:15:32,235 --> 00:15:34,585
Still like a stone. Like a stone.

175
00:15:37,015 --> 00:15:38,804
And then... and then Danny,

176
00:15:38,843 --> 00:15:43,234
We pan over to Danny and Danny was
all like grrr. I think love is stupid.

177
00:15:43,259 --> 00:15:47,453
Getting married. Getting married,
"pfft". That's all like a dumb

178
00:15:47,478 --> 00:15:50,874
mistake. I would never do that.
And I get to be mean to you

179
00:15:50,899 --> 00:15:54,742
for just no reason because
I'm a big baby. I'm a big baby.

180
00:15:54,767 --> 00:15:58,499
My hair's too long to be a baby
but I act like a baby anyways.

181
00:16:00,072 --> 00:16:04,726
You know babies go waa, waa, waa.

182
00:16:04,950 --> 00:16:08,749
Look at me. I think I'm so cool
even though I'm just a big jerk.

183
00:16:09,499 --> 00:16:11,998
Yeah. And you know what that big jerk is.
Such a jerk

184
00:16:12,023 --> 00:16:15,382
He went over and he
slapped Justin in the face.

185
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:24,414
You know what Justin did?
Justin spit on him.

186
00:16:32,123 --> 00:16:37,859
And Danny, he was so mean, he was like
"Hey Justin. You give me your sweater"

187
00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:48,484
You, you give me your sweater
and... and I'm gonna do a high kick.

188
00:16:49,916 --> 00:16:54,703
I'm gonna do another high kick.
High kick, high kick, high kick

189
00:16:54,728 --> 00:16:56,601
And that was it.

190
00:17:06,578 --> 00:17:12,539
Yeah. Maybe I embellished a little bit
but I feel like you guys got the gist.

191
00:17:13,141 --> 00:17:16,281
Unbelievable. Move Unbelievable.

192
00:17:16,306 --> 00:17:20,109
Why is Danny being so mean? Why
can't you see what's going on?

193
00:17:20,134 --> 00:17:21,601
Don't you remember the first time you met?

194
00:17:21,626 --> 00:17:25,523
Of course I do. It was right
there in that office.

195
00:17:28,648 --> 00:17:32,054
Oh, I remember it like it was yesterday.

196
00:17:32,079 --> 00:17:36,218
- ♪ That's all I really want ♪
- _

197
00:17:36,243 --> 00:17:43,031
♪ some fun uh-uh-un ♪
♪ don't you love me baby ♪

198
00:17:43,056 --> 00:17:47,703
♪ oh, girls ♪
♪ they want to have fu-un ♪

199
00:17:47,829 --> 00:17:50,171
♪ Oh girls they wanna... ♪

200
00:17:50,196 --> 00:17:53,210
- Justin?
- I didn't see you come in.

201
00:17:53,235 --> 00:17:56,148
- Yes. You must be Danny.
- Killer pipes, man.

202
00:17:56,315 --> 00:17:59,476
Thank you. Yes. I went through a choral
camp every summer as a kid

203
00:17:59,501 --> 00:18:02,429
and I was the first male Annie.

204
00:18:03,445 --> 00:18:07,453
We are a real odd couple, you and me.
I bet that we're just gonna

205
00:18:07,478 --> 00:18:12,164
end up arguing and apologizing to each
other over and over again every week.

206
00:18:20,421 --> 00:18:24,210
In my flashbacks, I let the boys
speak for themselves.

207
00:18:25,343 --> 00:18:30,703
Yep. Feels like it was just yesterday.

208
00:18:31,987 --> 00:18:35,398
What a crazy, crazy wild time.

209
00:18:36,527 --> 00:18:39,757
We became room-mates after that,
but you know the story.

210
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,046
What does that have to do with anything?

211
00:18:42,070 --> 00:18:44,781
The reason he needed a new
room-mate is because his

212
00:18:44,806 --> 00:18:49,179
old room-mate got married and left, and
they were never really friends ever again.

213
00:18:49,204 --> 00:18:52,320
Yeah. And now it's happening
to Danny all over. Oh, okay...

214
00:18:54,264 --> 00:18:57,796
You're a mess. The poor guy, he feels
abandoned, dude.

215
00:18:58,585 --> 00:19:00,804
Well, I guess I have to make this...

216
00:19:00,829 --> 00:19:05,468
I'm sorry. I guess I...

217
00:19:08,470 --> 00:19:12,546
You know what? Enough monkeying
around. I gotta make this right.

218
00:19:12,571 --> 00:19:14,404
Good luck kiss.

219
00:19:22,743 --> 00:19:25,992
Now you get out there
and you git him, soldier!

220
00:19:39,937 --> 00:19:42,929
Of course Trent works here.

221
00:19:43,161 --> 00:19:45,968
Candace used to see all this for free.

222
00:19:45,993 --> 00:19:49,367
Now people gotta pay me a buck for it. Bam!

223
00:19:49,392 --> 00:19:50,687
Capitalism.

224
00:19:51,906 --> 00:19:56,484
I never thought I'd say this
but, I hate strip clubs now.

225
00:19:57,694 --> 00:20:01,257
***

226
00:20:01,311 --> 00:20:04,679
***

227
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:08,124
Tell me where you pawned
Candace's ring please?

228
00:20:08,149 --> 00:20:12,164
Oh the ring. News flash. I never pawned it.

229
00:20:12,189 --> 00:20:16,218
- You turned it into a tongue stud?
- Oh, my God, it's perfect!

230
00:20:17,699 --> 00:20:20,390
All right. You're gonna
give that diamond back

231
00:20:20,415 --> 00:20:23,054
OK. As Matthew McConaughey would

232
00:20:23,079 --> 00:20:28,460
never say, all wrong, all
wrong, all wrong. Trent says no.

233
00:20:29,130 --> 00:20:31,749
Trent smells so good.

234
00:20:32,464 --> 00:20:34,464
OK, OK. I got this.

235
00:20:34,489 --> 00:20:37,531
I got this. Come on. You heard the lady.

236
00:20:37,556 --> 00:20:42,124
- The diamond belongs to Candace.
- What are you gonna do about it guv'ner?

237
00:20:47,296 --> 00:20:50,414
Well, I think that speaks for itself.

238
00:20:52,002 --> 00:20:54,914
Sorry, guys. You're
never getting this back.

239
00:20:54,939 --> 00:20:57,476
Now if you'll excuse me, I
have to go show my capitalism.

240
00:20:57,501 --> 00:21:00,132
Capitalism's what I call my dong now.

241
00:21:00,802 --> 00:21:02,194
Hey, Trent.

242
00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:07,062
You're on the main stage
in five minutes. Watch out.

243
00:21:07,087 --> 00:21:11,289
*** Coming through.
Good god. Look at that body.

244
00:21:11,607 --> 00:21:13,664
- Kevin?
- What do you got here?

245
00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:15,453
A gay guy, a woman and a black guy?

246
00:21:15,477 --> 00:21:18,031
What do you call your group?
"Republican's nightmare?"

247
00:21:20,049 --> 00:21:27,987
Kevin. Drug dealing Nemesis. I had to go
and, I don't know, turn my life around.

248
00:21:31,566 --> 00:21:35,312
Oh, you ruined the thong song for me, too!

249
00:21:35,336 --> 00:21:38,351
You guys can look but
unfortunately I'm the

250
00:21:38,376 --> 00:21:42,273
only one who's allowed to touch.
I'm joking.

251
00:21:42,298 --> 00:21:47,164
There's an alley out back where
anything goes. Nobody's interested?

252
00:21:47,189 --> 00:21:50,453
You guys can take the
dollar bills back out.

253
00:22:00,523 --> 00:22:03,820
- Where's Leslie?
- Leslie is at a strip club

254
00:22:03,845 --> 00:22:08,140
looking at hot naked
men who are not you.

255
00:22:08,539 --> 00:22:09,593
Why?

256
00:22:09,959 --> 00:22:12,555
Women are complicated, man.

257
00:22:15,796 --> 00:22:17,609
Oh, my. There he is.

258
00:22:17,634 --> 00:22:20,668
There's my B.F.F., my big dog.

259
00:22:20,693 --> 00:22:24,289
OK. Look, all right. I get it, all right?

260
00:22:24,476 --> 00:22:28,398
You're sad and you know that I'm
moving out. But I want to you know I'm

261
00:22:28,423 --> 00:22:32,460
not moving out of here,
all right? For God's sakes.

262
00:22:32,485 --> 00:22:36,117
We're J-ball and D-tell.
There's always going

263
00:22:36,142 --> 00:22:39,852
to be a little J in you
and a lot of "D" in me.

264
00:22:42,218 --> 00:22:45,820
Well, we did it. That's the
worst conversation of all time.

265
00:22:47,664 --> 00:22:49,470
Don't worry about it, man. I'm not even

266
00:22:49,495 --> 00:22:51,570
bummed out that you're moving out.
That's OK

267
00:22:51,609 --> 00:22:53,187
That's so weird because

268
00:22:53,212 --> 00:22:57,413
your pants are on fire
but you're a liar, liar.

269
00:22:57,971 --> 00:23:01,093
I spent all day dividing up our stuff.
Most of it was pretty obvious.

270
00:23:01,118 --> 00:23:05,078
- All the make-up was...
- It's sunscreen! Alright?

271
00:23:05,103 --> 00:23:06,054
Don't piss me off.

272
00:23:06,079 --> 00:23:08,593
Look. Just admit that you're sad.

273
00:23:10,211 --> 00:23:14,640
Why don't you get off my butt?
What am I, Kanye West?

274
00:23:17,937 --> 00:23:20,562
I don't know what that means
but let me ask you a question.

275
00:23:20,618 --> 00:23:22,451
Two weeks from now when
you walk into that empty

276
00:23:22,476 --> 00:23:24,195
room and I'm not there,
what are you gonna do?

277
00:23:24,220 --> 00:23:27,101
I'm probably gonna be doing a lot of this.

278
00:23:27,896 --> 00:23:31,507
Because that's where I'm going
to put my new Nordic Track.

279
00:23:36,286 --> 00:23:40,445
OK. We need to stop them from fighting.

280
00:23:40,585 --> 00:23:45,148
Yeah for sure. I agree. Why don't you just
call me when you have that figured out.

281
00:23:45,953 --> 00:23:48,585
- Wait. I don't have your phone number.
- I know.

282
00:23:50,675 --> 00:23:53,007
I don't have anyone's number.

283
00:23:58,249 --> 00:24:00,796
Get off your Nordic Track and talk to me.

284
00:24:01,883 --> 00:24:05,171
- What is that?
- Workout towel.

285
00:24:05,526 --> 00:24:08,781
If you're going to be like this,
maybe I should move out now.

286
00:24:08,805 --> 00:24:09,695
You know what? Maybe you should.

287
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:10,359
Maybe I will

288
00:24:10,384 --> 00:24:11,085
- Good.
- Great.

289
00:24:11,109 --> 00:24:12,045
- Awesome!
- Super

290
00:24:12,070 --> 00:24:13,210
- Superb!
- Marvellous.

291
00:24:13,234 --> 00:24:14,695
- Stupendous
- Rosie.

292
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:17,101
- Awesome
- Spectacular

293
00:24:17,126 --> 00:24:20,406
- Keebler elf.
- Yippee!

294
00:24:20,431 --> 00:24:22,367
Bellissimo.

295
00:24:28,243 --> 00:24:30,835
This is actually good when
they don't say anything.

296
00:24:30,860 --> 00:24:33,328
It means they forgot what they
were fighting about.

297
00:24:36,718 --> 00:24:38,421
- Moving out!
- Oh yeah!

298
00:24:38,446 --> 00:24:40,210
I'm moving out. Ha-ha.

299
00:24:40,235 --> 00:24:43,570
- No, I'm moving out.
- Yeah, you're moving out and I don't care.

300
00:24:44,110 --> 00:24:45,664
- That's really how you feel?
- Uh-huh.

301
00:24:45,689 --> 00:24:49,312
You know what? I'll be gone by
the morning. I hope you're happy.

302
00:24:51,270 --> 00:24:54,546
No, no, nah nah. I don't
get to do a door slam on me.

303
00:24:54,571 --> 00:25:01,609
I do a door slam on you. This is
my bar! That means I get the last

304
00:25:01,634 --> 00:25:05,281
- friggin' door slam.
- Oh, yeah? What about this?!

305
00:25:05,306 --> 00:25:08,921
- What about this?!
- Ha-ha! Oh, yeah?

306
00:25:09,842 --> 00:25:11,312
Yeah!

307
00:25:22,865 --> 00:25:25,625
- Moving out.
- Oh, yeah. Aha!

308
00:25:38,789 --> 00:25:41,999
So, Trent wouldn't give the ring back?
Tell me how that went down.

309
00:25:42,024 --> 00:25:46,390
It was dimly lit. Through
the darkness I saw an Adonis.

310
00:25:47,085 --> 00:25:51,046
He looked at me, I looked at him.
The nipple went in my mouth. I loved it.

311
00:25:52,349 --> 00:25:54,656
I can still picture it now.

312
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:01,680
Brett, are you OK?

313
00:26:01,952 --> 00:26:04,921
Are we not doing flashbacks any more?

314
00:26:07,218 --> 00:26:08,687
Anyway, I'm not giving up.

315
00:26:08,712 --> 00:26:10,320
We're going to get that diamond back.

316
00:26:10,345 --> 00:26:13,781
How do you get at diamond out of a
guy's mouth? How stupid can the guy be?

317
00:26:14,257 --> 00:26:18,843
Let's just think. For a year I
was Trent oregano dealer.

318
00:26:20,946 --> 00:26:26,445
So you're telling me that you want me to
go flirt with Trent, rub up against his

319
00:26:26,470 --> 00:26:32,867
body... take my hands and stroke them
down his five, six, seven, eight abs.

320
00:26:32,978 --> 00:26:36,031
- No.
- I'm not finished yet!

321
00:26:36,553 --> 00:26:40,601
And then I'm going to grope his perfect
ass. I'm going to make out with him.

322
00:26:40,626 --> 00:26:44,781
him and steal his diamond back
with my tongue. Look, I'll do it.

323
00:26:44,806 --> 00:26:49,148
I won't like it... but
I'm gonna love it!

324
00:26:53,083 --> 00:26:57,414
For real, I'm tired of pretending
that we're not together.

325
00:26:57,439 --> 00:27:00,757
Listen, I know you said that we only went
on one date together but we've been on a

326
00:27:00,789 --> 00:27:05,046
lot of dates together. We spent the
night at a bed and breakfast in Lake

327
00:27:05,071 --> 00:27:08,656
Michigan and no, I didn't tell any
of our friends about it because you

328
00:27:08,681 --> 00:27:10,882
promised me not to but I
guess they knew why anyway.

329
00:27:10,907 --> 00:27:14,499
Know why that is? Because
you actually did tell them?

330
00:27:16,753 --> 00:27:18,070
Yeah.

331
00:27:19,748 --> 00:27:22,374
He took pictures of you sleeping.

332
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:25,187
Completely shaved, huh?

333
00:27:37,609 --> 00:27:39,015
I liked it.

334
00:27:41,569 --> 00:27:44,164
You know what? I'm not apologizing for it.

335
00:27:44,557 --> 00:27:46,405
I'm glad that us is a
thing because honestly

336
00:27:46,430 --> 00:27:48,007
I've been waiting for
us to happen for

337
00:27:48,032 --> 00:27:51,624
like three years now. And if you're
embarrassed to be with me that's fine.

338
00:27:51,649 --> 00:27:57,117
I could deal with that. Uh...
wait. Were you gonna kiss... OK.

339
00:28:02,318 --> 00:28:05,051
OK. Yeah, mm-hmm. So we're good, yeah?

340
00:28:05,351 --> 00:28:07,390
- I'm in.
- All right. Come here.

341
00:28:11,548 --> 00:28:14,539
All right. I'll allow this but
if you start making strain noises,

342
00:28:14,564 --> 00:28:18,953
- we're breaking up.
- We should go.

343
00:28:46,876 --> 00:28:49,828
- She's fine.
- ***

344
00:28:50,070 --> 00:28:52,070
She falls all the time.

345
00:28:53,643 --> 00:28:56,776
What do I care? What we need to
be concerned about is getting that

346
00:28:56,801 --> 00:28:58,414
diamond back. We need
someone to kiss Trent.

347
00:28:58,439 --> 00:29:01,648
- Can you do it? For Candace?
- Oh no... I'm not into that kind of thing.

348
00:29:01,673 --> 00:29:03,749
- Yep, that's Trent
- I'll do it.

349
00:29:07,165 --> 00:29:09,665
I don't like seeing you
all torn up like this.

350
00:29:09,688 --> 00:29:10,609
You know what?

351
00:29:10,634 --> 00:29:13,054
You know what we could do to cheer
you up? Let's do that thing where we

352
00:29:13,079 --> 00:29:16,023
pretend to be an old couple
that's been married for 50 years.

353
00:29:16,048 --> 00:29:19,359
Come on.

354
00:29:23,691 --> 00:29:33,851
I'm coming for you, stud-muffin.
Hot wheels. Almost there.

355
00:29:36,297 --> 00:29:37,718
Sweetie...

356
00:29:43,250 --> 00:29:45,250
This usually gets me going.

357
00:29:47,734 --> 00:29:49,734
My heart's just not in it.

358
00:29:53,228 --> 00:29:55,624
Guys. The fight with Danny is killing him.

359
00:29:55,649 --> 00:29:58,062
I know. Danny's been moping around all day.

360
00:29:58,087 --> 00:30:00,359
Oh, please. Come on, they're grown men.

361
00:30:00,384 --> 00:30:03,085
Not like they're moping
around the streets

362
00:30:03,118 --> 00:30:06,101
like some Backstreet Boys
video from the '90s.

363
00:31:46,857 --> 00:31:50,919
Let's do this, you oily donkey.

364
00:31:59,106 --> 00:32:00,825
You're not wearing your diamond stud.

365
00:32:00,850 --> 00:32:03,638
No. I just wear this for fun.
I'm off duty, babe.

366
00:32:07,137 --> 00:32:10,029
- What was that?
- I don't know. Work the alley by yourself.

367
00:32:10,053 --> 00:32:12,591
This is the alley where anything goes.

368
00:32:23,817 --> 00:32:28,536
OK. Charlotte said, uh,
Trent has the diamond at his

369
00:32:28,561 --> 00:32:30,786
apartment. She wants to know
if she should go sleep with him.

370
00:32:30,811 --> 00:32:33,997
Excuse me. What? No.

371
00:32:34,022 --> 00:32:37,013
- Tell her no.
- Finally I got to make out with Adam.

372
00:32:37,538 --> 00:32:43,224
That lunatic's back only if you
go before... by the way, my legs...

373
00:32:44,373 --> 00:32:51,661
Nobody else hear that? I'm all
packed up. Going to head to the bar,

374
00:32:51,686 --> 00:32:54,895
Close early so we can all celebrate
the engagement together.

375
00:32:55,092 --> 00:32:57,544
You are still welcome if you want to come.

376
00:32:58,231 --> 00:32:59,864
Nah. I'm good.

377
00:33:02,187 --> 00:33:04,864
All right. Well, if you, uh, if you

378
00:33:04,889 --> 00:33:08,466
change your mind, just, you know, come.

379
00:33:15,060 --> 00:33:17,044
- What's wrong with you?
- All right. OK.

380
00:33:17,069 --> 00:33:19,388
Spare me the lecture. I already know
what you're gonna say so I'm just going to

381
00:33:19,413 --> 00:33:22,169
fast forward through all the
bull crap that you're about to...

382
00:33:26,477 --> 00:33:28,755
You should be happy for Justin he's your...

383
00:33:34,608 --> 00:33:37,177
Oh. I'm so disappointed in you,

384
00:33:37,202 --> 00:33:39,036
Danny. Good night.

385
00:33:55,801 --> 00:33:58,513
Let's get high and watch wrestling.

386
00:34:03,652 --> 00:34:06,880
To be fair, that is what I
say first thing in the morning.

387
00:34:08,225 --> 00:34:11,372
- Danny, Justin's your best friend.
- So?

388
00:34:11,397 --> 00:34:13,240
It's OK to be hurt that he's leaving.

389
00:34:13,265 --> 00:34:15,052
Don't you understand
that this is all a ruse on

390
00:34:15,077 --> 00:34:17,356
Justin's behalf? He's not
even really moving out.

391
00:34:17,381 --> 00:34:21,263
Look. All these boxes are empty. See? Oh.

392
00:34:23,324 --> 00:34:25,786
It's all of his khakis.

393
00:34:29,947 --> 00:34:33,162
- I guess he really is moving out.
- Aw.

394
00:34:33,248 --> 00:34:36,560
Danny, I know how scary it can
be to admit how you really feel.

395
00:34:36,585 --> 00:34:40,974
I mean look how long it took me to admit
how I feel about Burski but now I can look

396
00:34:41,006 --> 00:34:45,067
you straight in the eyes and I can say
"I love Burski"?

397
00:34:46,481 --> 00:34:48,817
You don't even realize you
said that as a question.

398
00:34:48,850 --> 00:34:54,622
I really do? I like him.
I do. OK. I like him.

399
00:34:54,647 --> 00:34:58,325
OK? So now it's time for you to be
honest about how you feel about Justin.

400
00:34:59,311 --> 00:35:01,731
Let me put this in a way you'll understand.

401
00:35:01,982 --> 00:35:07,903
You've been an emotional grower.
Now you need to be an emotional show-er.

402
00:35:10,814 --> 00:35:12,931
I mean Justin's your best friend.

403
00:35:12,956 --> 00:35:15,611
Have you ever even told him
that? No, but in my defence I

404
00:35:15,636 --> 00:35:17,322
- have a really good reason not to.
- Why is that?

405
00:35:17,347 --> 00:35:19,790
Because he wants me to so bad.

406
00:35:21,506 --> 00:35:25,008
I'm disappointed in you,
Danny. Good night...

407
00:35:26,717 --> 00:35:29,620
Oh. You want to get
high and watch wrestling?

408
00:35:42,151 --> 00:35:46,511
- To Candace and Justin. Cheers.
- Thank you.

409
00:35:47,980 --> 00:35:50,456
This is the happiest day of my life.

410
00:35:51,486 --> 00:35:55,800
Did he say happiest day or last day?

411
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:01,339
Babe, you can sulk about
this whole Danny situation

412
00:36:01,364 --> 00:36:05,862
this whole time. Now I know that you
said you want to do whatever you want

413
00:36:05,887 --> 00:36:10,651
to make me happy. If you want to make me
happy, you go out there and you get Danny

414
00:36:13,412 --> 00:36:15,073
Yes, ma'am.

415
00:36:19,922 --> 00:36:23,511
- Guys, I'm here. Where's Justin?
- You just missed him.

416
00:36:23,536 --> 00:36:27,739
- He went out looking for you.
- Aw crap. Let me go see if I can catch him

417
00:36:29,248 --> 00:36:31,581
Well, look like those guys will never...

418
00:36:31,606 --> 00:36:36,815
- I got the text. Where's Danny?
- Danny just left.

419
00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:43,159
- Ah. Damn it.
- And wait for it.

420
00:36:43,184 --> 00:36:47,893
Hey, I just got your text that Justin
is here. I also saw him run right past me.

421
00:36:47,918 --> 00:36:53,347
Which one should I trust? Yeah, I know.

422
00:37:09,316 --> 00:37:12,386
I love you. I have to tell you this.

423
00:37:12,411 --> 00:37:14,334
And I know you don't
like this sappy stuff.

424
00:37:14,359 --> 00:37:15,972
You're going to act
like you don't care.

425
00:37:15,997 --> 00:37:17,347
Alright you know what? Look, stop.

426
00:37:17,372 --> 00:37:19,425
Let me go first, OK? It's only fair.

427
00:37:21,347 --> 00:37:24,207
Shelly, why don't you tell him where I
was while I go wash up?

428
00:37:24,231 --> 00:37:25,386
Oh, I'd love to.

429
00:37:25,759 --> 00:37:28,480
Gather around, everybody,
and hear the tale.

430
00:37:30,284 --> 00:37:35,230
Now when I told Danny we couldn't get your
ring back... he took it upon himself to

431
00:37:35,255 --> 00:37:38,839
go back to the strip club and get it
from Trent. But when he got there,

432
00:37:39,020 --> 00:37:41,847
Trent and Kevin were so
nervous because there

433
00:37:41,872 --> 00:37:44,269
was some big league
stripper scouts there

434
00:37:44,294 --> 00:37:48,011
from the biggest area in the
world. That's right, Will, Tampa.

435
00:37:48,036 --> 00:37:53,269
You know about this Will. I know
you. I seen you at the club.

436
00:37:53,608 --> 00:37:58,207
Now the problem was that they didn't
have a third dancer, and what happened

437
00:37:58,232 --> 00:38:02,957
next, oh, is gonna go down in male
stripper history.

438
00:38:10,957 --> 00:38:15,277
Wow. Guys, if we die tonight,
I just want the world to

439
00:38:15,302 --> 00:38:17,378
know we died doing what we love.

440
00:38:17,403 --> 00:38:21,746
Yeah. I don't really want the world or
anyone to ever know that I was here, but.

441
00:38:22,570 --> 00:38:26,238
- Also why would we die?
- Can I interrupt for a second?

442
00:38:26,732 --> 00:38:31,855
I just want to say that I love both
of you guys. Trent more than I did before.

443
00:38:32,770 --> 00:38:35,683
OK. Well, just so you know,
I hate both of you.

444
00:38:36,621 --> 00:38:39,253
Do you want any oil before we start?

445
00:38:39,278 --> 00:38:42,582
No. Please, I... that wasn't in the script.

446
00:38:44,413 --> 00:38:47,514
Sounds like we're ready
to go. Let's get started.

447
00:38:49,711 --> 00:38:55,222
Ah. Three, two, one. Hit it!

448
00:39:07,026 --> 00:39:11,440
None of my moves are sexual. I apologize.

449
00:39:15,742 --> 00:39:17,746
- Wow!
- Yeah, wow.

450
00:39:17,771 --> 00:39:20,207
That was an amazing story.

451
00:39:20,699 --> 00:39:22,136
Hey, Danny.

452
00:39:22,161 --> 00:39:24,824
You have to tell us if you got the ring
back when you get back from the bathroom.

453
00:39:24,849 --> 00:39:29,355
Hey, yeah. OK. Just give me a few seconds.

454
00:39:29,876 --> 00:39:32,449
- Flashbacks are exhausting.
- Hell, yeah.

455
00:39:42,191 --> 00:39:46,113
So look. The stripper scouts
turned out that they loved us.

456
00:39:46,138 --> 00:39:49,409
And so did the audience. So...

457
00:39:50,270 --> 00:39:54,714
Anyway. OK, well. Really likes improv.

458
00:39:54,739 --> 00:39:58,211
- Anyway.
- One summer mommy had to work for ones.

459
00:39:58,236 --> 00:40:03,665
OK. Well, look, I basically,
since I got Trent back to

460
00:40:03,690 --> 00:40:08,206
Tampa, he agreed to give me this. Oh.

461
00:40:08,651 --> 00:40:11,596
Hey, what's that junky old piece of crap?

462
00:40:11,621 --> 00:40:14,987
- My grandma's wedding ring.
- It's so pretty!

463
00:40:18,522 --> 00:40:22,423
- Thank you so much for doing that for me.
- I didn't just do it for you.

464
00:40:22,448 --> 00:40:24,839
I did it for my best friend.

465
00:40:31,221 --> 00:40:34,737
Did you just call me your best friend?

466
00:40:39,869 --> 00:40:45,456
- Yes, I did.
- I don't think I want that anymore.

467
00:40:46,386 --> 00:40:48,581
You need to try that.

468
00:40:52,104 --> 00:40:55,534
Look, I already know you're my best friend
even though that pissed me off quite a

469
00:40:55,559 --> 00:41:00,056
bit. But I need to know if you'd
be willing to be my best man.

470
00:41:01,494 --> 00:41:03,550
Hey. Of course.

471
00:41:03,604 --> 00:41:04,987
Baby bird.

472
00:41:08,002 --> 00:41:10,002
Let's get married, huh?

473
00:41:11,338 --> 00:41:15,761
Well, summer, fall but definitely
not this season.

474
00:41:17,731 --> 00:41:19,315
Hey, buddy.

475
00:41:19,510 --> 00:41:20,831
***

476
00:41:22,761 --> 00:41:30,182
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