1 00:00:00,132 --> 00:00:01,929 Previously on "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend"... 2 00:00:01,953 --> 00:00:03,756 What you said, about believing in me, 3 00:00:03,781 --> 00:00:05,968 about truly understanding who I am... 4 00:00:05,993 --> 00:00:07,179 No one has ever 5 00:00:07,203 --> 00:00:09,069 said anything like that about me. 6 00:00:09,094 --> 00:00:10,260 That means so much. 7 00:00:10,262 --> 00:00:11,789 You have no idea. 8 00:00:11,814 --> 00:00:14,109 A kiss on the cheek means 9 00:00:14,529 --> 00:00:15,895 everything. 10 00:00:16,101 --> 00:00:17,767 You and Josh, your love story? 11 00:00:17,769 --> 00:00:19,312 It gives me hope. 12 00:00:19,337 --> 00:00:20,736 My marriage is like 13 00:00:20,761 --> 00:00:22,061 The Walking Dead, okay? 14 00:00:22,207 --> 00:00:24,374 We are all just trying to get out alive. 15 00:00:29,014 --> 00:00:31,948 So Paula came home a couple weeks ago... 16 00:00:31,950 --> 00:00:35,351 I remember she was all dressed up... 17 00:00:35,376 --> 00:00:38,039 And said she was unhappy, uh... 18 00:00:40,186 --> 00:00:41,219 Dude... 19 00:00:41,244 --> 00:00:42,148 Sorry, man. 20 00:00:42,173 --> 00:00:43,539 My aim's really off today. 21 00:00:49,008 --> 00:00:50,632 Please continue, Scott. 22 00:00:50,657 --> 00:00:52,816 I thought maybe we should talk to someone. 23 00:00:52,818 --> 00:00:54,185 Uh, but not a shrink. 24 00:00:54,187 --> 00:00:55,406 We're from Buffalo. 25 00:00:55,888 --> 00:00:57,922 We don't like the touchy-feely stuff. 26 00:00:57,924 --> 00:00:59,093 And you, Paula? 27 00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,140 You still feeling unhappy? 28 00:01:01,165 --> 00:01:03,484 Look, Scott and I understand each other. 29 00:01:03,729 --> 00:01:04,762 And that's enough. 30 00:01:04,764 --> 00:01:06,297 So I-I don't want to rock the boat. 31 00:01:06,299 --> 00:01:08,812 You know, we rock the boat and then we'll just... 32 00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:10,468 we'll flip the whole thing. 33 00:01:10,493 --> 00:01:13,242 Paula, if you don't deal with your unhappiness, 34 00:01:13,375 --> 00:01:15,297 problems only grow. 35 00:01:15,299 --> 00:01:16,264 At that point, 36 00:01:16,266 --> 00:01:17,101 forget about flipping the boat, 37 00:01:17,126 --> 00:01:18,859 you're putting a hole right in the boat. 38 00:01:19,169 --> 00:01:21,103 That's classic self-sabotage. 39 00:01:21,105 --> 00:01:23,205 Babe, we're sinking. 40 00:01:23,207 --> 00:01:25,273 Let's do whatever he says. 41 00:01:25,275 --> 00:01:27,008 What should we do, Mr. Brah? 42 00:01:27,010 --> 00:01:29,444 Please, Mr. Brah was my father. 43 00:01:29,446 --> 00:01:31,213 I'm Father Brah. 44 00:01:31,215 --> 00:01:33,482 And I'm just going to give you some simple homework. 45 00:01:33,484 --> 00:01:34,850 Go home. 46 00:01:34,852 --> 00:01:36,852 Have dinner, alone, 47 00:01:36,854 --> 00:01:38,093 just the two of you. 48 00:01:38,118 --> 00:01:39,450 Look into each other's eyes 49 00:01:39,475 --> 00:01:41,542 and really connect with each other. 50 00:01:41,567 --> 00:01:42,900 Can you do that? 51 00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:44,117 For me? 52 00:01:45,132 --> 00:01:46,495 And for God? 53 00:01:46,497 --> 00:01:47,696 Wow, you do that? 54 00:01:47,698 --> 00:01:48,997 You pull the God card that easy? 55 00:01:48,999 --> 00:01:50,232 I'm a priest, Paula. 56 00:01:50,234 --> 00:01:51,900 What other cards you think I got? 57 00:01:51,902 --> 00:01:53,812 Scott, Paula... 58 00:01:54,077 --> 00:01:56,744 be the boat, not the hole. 59 00:01:57,223 --> 00:01:59,423 Nobody likes a hole. 60 00:02:00,214 --> 00:02:01,914 Everybody likes a swoosh! 61 00:02:04,976 --> 00:02:07,426 It's really off today. 62 00:02:07,451 --> 00:02:09,384 What up, God? 63 00:02:21,820 --> 00:02:22,898 Yo. 64 00:02:24,148 --> 00:02:25,500 Yo. Cool. 65 00:02:25,502 --> 00:02:29,004 Um... haven't seen you in a while. 66 00:02:29,006 --> 00:02:30,605 Yeah... 67 00:02:30,607 --> 00:02:31,906 I've been avoiding you. 68 00:02:33,253 --> 00:02:35,186 Okay. By dating my next-door neighbor 69 00:02:35,212 --> 00:02:36,545 and then showing up at my door? 70 00:02:37,140 --> 00:02:38,613 Heather said you had something for her? 71 00:02:38,615 --> 00:02:40,348 Oh, yeah, uh, she's borrowing my hard drive 72 00:02:40,350 --> 00:02:41,883 for her coding class. I'll get it. 73 00:02:41,885 --> 00:02:44,085 Good. 74 00:02:45,856 --> 00:02:47,322 Looks nice in here. 75 00:02:47,324 --> 00:02:48,790 You decorated. 76 00:02:48,792 --> 00:02:51,193 Some succulents, some candles, you hung the fish... 77 00:02:52,663 --> 00:02:55,656 So, you and Heather. 78 00:02:56,546 --> 00:02:57,933 Yeah... 79 00:02:58,546 --> 00:03:00,135 That's still a thang? 80 00:03:00,992 --> 00:03:03,205 Yeah, it's a bit of a “thang.” 81 00:03:03,207 --> 00:03:04,439 Good, good. 82 00:03:04,441 --> 00:03:06,541 I'm very glad that you found a mating partner. 83 00:03:07,758 --> 00:03:09,792 Why do you care about my “mating” choices? 84 00:03:09,817 --> 00:03:11,917 I don't. I don't care! 85 00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:13,241 And I think I've shown that consistently. 86 00:03:13,266 --> 00:03:14,499 Here you go. Here's the... 87 00:03:14,518 --> 00:03:15,584 here's the hard drive. 88 00:03:15,586 --> 00:03:16,818 Oh, and, uh, tell Heather 89 00:03:16,820 --> 00:03:18,353 not to open the folder that says “Taxes.” 90 00:03:18,355 --> 00:03:19,621 If she's looking for porn, 91 00:03:19,623 --> 00:03:21,056 there's a folder that says “Porn.” 92 00:03:22,132 --> 00:03:23,271 Got it. Lovely. 93 00:03:23,296 --> 00:03:24,492 Yeah. Thank you so much. 94 00:03:24,494 --> 00:03:26,161 They're the good kind, with plots. 95 00:03:26,163 --> 00:03:28,195 That's why the hard drive is so big. 96 00:03:28,799 --> 00:03:30,465 He's not listening. 97 00:03:34,037 --> 00:03:36,238 All right, Brosefs, here's the deal. 98 00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:37,606 I got a big presentation coming up, 99 00:03:37,608 --> 00:03:39,241 and I am dragging, so I'm gonna get 100 00:03:39,243 --> 00:03:40,909 a triple red-eye with an extra shot 101 00:03:40,911 --> 00:03:42,677 in the Olson Twin Size. 102 00:03:48,242 --> 00:03:50,919 “The plaintiff in the case is entitled 103 00:03:50,921 --> 00:03:53,788 “to collect back rent on the property and in addition, 104 00:03:53,790 --> 00:03:57,325 “the defendant is liable for court costs and interest accrued 105 00:03:57,327 --> 00:03:59,838 in the period of June 2013.” 106 00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:03,208 “Also, the plaintiff wants a back massage and a smoothie.” 107 00:04:06,003 --> 00:04:07,902 Oh, my God, you're so funny! 108 00:04:07,904 --> 00:04:09,704 I love you... 109 00:04:09,706 --> 00:04:11,072 your... sense of humor! 110 00:04:11,074 --> 00:04:12,741 Oh, so... 111 00:04:12,743 --> 00:04:14,042 How are you? 112 00:04:14,044 --> 00:04:15,577 Good. I, uh... 113 00:04:15,579 --> 00:04:16,945 you know, I keep thinking about camp 114 00:04:16,947 --> 00:04:18,947 and just how much fun we had. 115 00:04:18,949 --> 00:04:20,448 Yeah, me too. 116 00:04:20,450 --> 00:04:22,617 - That campfire was so nice. - Yeah. 117 00:04:22,619 --> 00:04:24,919 Yeah. 118 00:04:26,418 --> 00:04:27,383 Oh, wow. 119 00:04:27,408 --> 00:04:29,093 Uh, so do you have, like, a... 120 00:04:29,118 --> 00:04:30,217 a “recital” today? 121 00:04:30,242 --> 00:04:31,867 Nah, just regular class. 122 00:04:31,892 --> 00:04:33,325 Hey, do you know what time it is? 123 00:04:33,530 --> 00:04:35,263 Yeah. Uh, let's see... 124 00:04:35,265 --> 00:04:37,601 - It is 3:08. - Thanks. 125 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:39,126 I left my phone at home. 126 00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:41,580 I feel so... naked. 127 00:04:41,605 --> 00:04:43,687 Like buck naked. 128 00:04:43,712 --> 00:04:45,015 Mmm. 129 00:04:45,809 --> 00:04:47,142 Well, um, I gotta go. 130 00:04:47,144 --> 00:04:48,276 Oh. Bye! Sorry, but... 131 00:04:48,278 --> 00:04:49,577 Yeah, bye. 132 00:04:49,579 --> 00:04:52,180 It was good seeing you. 133 00:04:52,182 --> 00:04:53,882 Bye. 134 00:04:53,884 --> 00:04:55,417 - Bye. - Bye. 135 00:05:06,997 --> 00:05:08,363 This case is about 136 00:05:08,365 --> 00:05:10,498 taking responsibility for one's actions. 137 00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:13,070 About following through on a promise 138 00:05:13,265 --> 00:05:14,936 regardless of the consequences. 139 00:05:14,938 --> 00:05:16,771 And therefore, the defendant must do 140 00:05:16,773 --> 00:05:18,640 what the law requires 141 00:05:18,642 --> 00:05:21,810 and must assume all fiduciary responsibilities in this matter. 142 00:05:21,812 --> 00:05:22,640 Okay. 143 00:05:22,846 --> 00:05:24,012 Well-argued, Miss Bunch. 144 00:05:24,014 --> 00:05:25,180 Over to you, Miss Cavanaugh. 145 00:05:26,562 --> 00:05:28,083 Your Honor, my argument today 146 00:05:28,085 --> 00:05:29,751 centers on three essential principles 147 00:05:29,753 --> 00:05:32,120 contained in the municipal real estate code... 148 00:05:32,122 --> 00:05:34,089 The same three codes that my client upheld 149 00:05:34,091 --> 00:05:36,984 in regards to the property in question, 150 00:05:37,009 --> 00:05:39,504 533 East Cameron. 151 00:05:39,529 --> 00:05:40,595 The written agreement 152 00:05:40,597 --> 00:05:41,563 between my client 153 00:05:41,565 --> 00:05:42,564 and the plaintiff 154 00:05:42,566 --> 00:05:44,232 stipulates that the lease payment 155 00:05:44,234 --> 00:05:45,734 is due by the fifth of every month. 156 00:05:45,736 --> 00:05:47,669 Section F, line 37. 157 00:05:47,671 --> 00:05:51,281 And any day beyond the fifth, a fee of $3,500 158 00:05:51,306 --> 00:05:53,139 will incur... Section F, 159 00:05:53,325 --> 00:05:54,658 line 39. 160 00:05:54,683 --> 00:05:56,950 My client has followed protocol 161 00:05:56,975 --> 00:05:58,941 and issued numerous written and verbal warnings 162 00:05:59,015 --> 00:06:01,216 to procure the delinquent monies, 163 00:06:01,218 --> 00:06:03,284 - specifying failure of payment - _ 164 00:06:03,286 --> 00:06:04,719 - would result in immediate - _ 165 00:06:04,721 --> 00:06:06,421 - termination of the property lease, - _ 166 00:06:06,423 --> 00:06:08,256 - adhering to the formalities - _ 167 00:06:08,258 --> 00:06:10,158 - outlined in Section G, line four. - _ 168 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:13,170 - The recent lease termination by my client - _ 169 00:06:13,195 --> 00:06:15,630 makes the plaintiff and his employees squatters. 170 00:06:15,632 --> 00:06:16,831 These charges should be dropped immediately 171 00:06:16,833 --> 00:06:19,200 and stricken from the court records. 172 00:06:19,202 --> 00:06:20,502 So you see, 173 00:06:20,504 --> 00:06:21,903 Your Honor, the, uh... 174 00:06:21,905 --> 00:06:23,238 the conclusion is clear. 175 00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:25,607 All right. Strong argument. 176 00:06:25,609 --> 00:06:27,609 What's your response, Miss Bunch? 177 00:06:35,210 --> 00:06:36,251 Miss Bunch? 178 00:06:36,253 --> 00:06:37,419 You didn't get it? 179 00:06:37,421 --> 00:06:38,553 What? 180 00:06:38,555 --> 00:06:41,189 I'm sorry, I-I have to, um... 181 00:06:41,191 --> 00:06:42,624 I have to examine just a piece of 182 00:06:42,626 --> 00:06:44,492 essential evidence. 183 00:06:44,494 --> 00:06:45,927 This'll only... take a second. 184 00:06:46,859 --> 00:06:50,523 _ 185 00:06:59,609 --> 00:07:01,042 No... 186 00:07:01,044 --> 00:07:03,511 Miss Bunch? 187 00:07:03,513 --> 00:07:07,582 Rebecca, what's wrong? 188 00:07:12,289 --> 00:07:14,289 Miss Bunch? 189 00:07:17,761 --> 00:07:20,595 Mother... 190 00:07:24,689 --> 00:07:26,286 _ 191 00:07:28,943 --> 00:07:30,142 Um... what's wrong? 192 00:07:30,144 --> 00:07:31,877 Is everything okay, Miss Bunch? 193 00:07:33,147 --> 00:07:34,513 Your Honor... 194 00:07:35,883 --> 00:07:37,683 I'd like to request a temporary stay 195 00:07:37,685 --> 00:07:38,684 in this matter. 196 00:07:38,686 --> 00:07:40,086 What? 197 00:07:40,088 --> 00:07:41,887 Uh, it is an emergency. 198 00:07:41,889 --> 00:07:43,923 Your Honor, this is highly unprofessional. 199 00:07:43,925 --> 00:07:44,990 Uh, yeah. 200 00:07:44,992 --> 00:07:46,692 Okay, cookie, you don't have to lie. 201 00:07:46,694 --> 00:07:47,599 These are good people. 202 00:07:47,624 --> 00:07:50,162 I-I've known Harry forever, I-I mentored Connie. 203 00:07:50,164 --> 00:07:51,030 They're gonna understand. 204 00:07:51,032 --> 00:07:52,098 What? Understand what? 205 00:07:52,100 --> 00:07:53,399 You guys, look at this. 206 00:07:53,401 --> 00:07:54,767 She just accidentally texted 207 00:07:54,769 --> 00:07:56,535 her ex-boyfriend from summer camp 208 00:07:56,537 --> 00:07:57,837 who she's secretly in love with, 209 00:07:57,839 --> 00:07:59,271 moved here for... 210 00:07:59,273 --> 00:08:01,540 Oh, and by the way, has a serious live-in girlfriend. 211 00:08:01,542 --> 00:08:03,242 Paula! What... 212 00:08:03,244 --> 00:08:04,543 Oh, my God. 213 00:08:04,725 --> 00:08:06,258 What is this about? 214 00:08:09,264 --> 00:08:11,185 Look, Miss Bunch, I can't grant you a stay. 215 00:08:13,488 --> 00:08:15,988 You gotta take care of this right away. 216 00:08:15,990 --> 00:08:17,523 You take the rest of the day off. 217 00:08:17,525 --> 00:08:19,592 Yes, what can we do to help? 218 00:08:19,594 --> 00:08:20,893 Check this out, Connie. 219 00:08:21,762 --> 00:08:22,728 Oh. 220 00:08:22,730 --> 00:08:24,296 Oh, this is a disaster. 221 00:08:24,298 --> 00:08:25,297 What are you gonna do? 222 00:08:25,299 --> 00:08:26,432 Forget this stupid case, 223 00:08:26,434 --> 00:08:27,900 we've gotta figure out how to spin this. 224 00:08:27,902 --> 00:08:29,568 No, let me see that. 225 00:08:29,570 --> 00:08:31,237 Girl, this is a living nightmare! 226 00:08:31,239 --> 00:08:32,304 What if we spin it as a joke? 227 00:08:32,306 --> 00:08:33,305 Oh, ha, ha, ha, 228 00:08:33,307 --> 00:08:34,607 it's opposite day. 229 00:08:34,609 --> 00:08:37,510 No one does opposite day anymore, Harry, what are we? 230 00:08:37,512 --> 00:08:39,044 Fourth graders in 1995? 231 00:08:39,046 --> 00:08:41,113 Well, I don't know! I'm panicking! 232 00:08:41,115 --> 00:08:43,549 And I'm the only one brainstorming here, Connie! 233 00:08:43,551 --> 00:08:44,750 Maybe she blames the phone company. 234 00:08:44,752 --> 00:08:46,785 I know! She could say she got hacked. 235 00:08:46,787 --> 00:08:49,889 No. No, there's only one option here. 236 00:08:50,466 --> 00:08:51,690 Witness protection. 237 00:08:51,692 --> 00:08:54,360 - Burn it all down. Start a new life. - Oh, my... come on! 238 00:08:54,362 --> 00:08:56,028 Okay, all right. Everybody just calm down. 239 00:08:56,030 --> 00:08:58,264 We just have to get to his phone before he sees it. 240 00:08:58,266 --> 00:09:00,966 Ugh, but he's on the thing all the time. Dammit! 241 00:09:00,968 --> 00:09:02,701 Wait! Oh, my God! 242 00:09:02,703 --> 00:09:03,769 Guys, I just remembered something! 243 00:09:03,771 --> 00:09:05,104 He doesn't have his phone with him. 244 00:09:05,106 --> 00:09:06,505 Yeah, he accidentally left it at home 245 00:09:06,507 --> 00:09:07,673 while he's at Tae Kwan Do. 246 00:09:07,675 --> 00:09:08,841 Tae Kwan Duh! 247 00:09:08,843 --> 00:09:09,975 That is your answer, girl! 248 00:09:09,977 --> 00:09:11,744 You have got to get to that apartment. 249 00:09:11,746 --> 00:09:13,078 Wait! What if Velveeta is there? 250 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:14,580 His girlfriend. 251 00:09:14,582 --> 00:09:15,581 No, no. No. 252 00:09:15,583 --> 00:09:16,715 Valencia's not there. 253 00:09:16,717 --> 00:09:18,384 She teaches yoga back-to-back today, 254 00:09:18,386 --> 00:09:20,186 so I have a window of, like, three hours. 255 00:09:20,188 --> 00:09:21,754 So the first thing we do when we get to Josh's house 256 00:09:21,756 --> 00:09:23,689 is we look for his spare key. 257 00:09:23,691 --> 00:09:25,324 He got locked out one time and... 258 00:09:25,326 --> 00:09:26,792 I can't go with you. 259 00:09:26,794 --> 00:09:27,526 What? 260 00:09:27,528 --> 00:09:29,061 Yeah, I know! 261 00:09:29,063 --> 00:09:31,063 I'm having dinner with Scott at home. 262 00:09:31,065 --> 00:09:31,730 What? 263 00:09:31,732 --> 00:09:32,965 I'm sorry. 264 00:09:32,967 --> 00:09:34,066 But it is a big deal. 265 00:09:34,068 --> 00:09:35,267 It's like our whole marriage 266 00:09:35,269 --> 00:09:38,704 is in a boat and God is watching or something. 267 00:09:38,706 --> 00:09:39,805 But you go! 268 00:09:39,807 --> 00:09:42,041 Go to his apartment right now! 269 00:09:42,043 --> 00:09:44,210 Yes! Go as fast as your tiny little legs will carry you! 270 00:09:44,212 --> 00:09:46,579 Go! I'll get you a police escort! 271 00:09:46,581 --> 00:09:48,147 Come on! Just go, go, go! 272 00:09:56,958 --> 00:09:58,791 ♪ Time is running out ♪ 273 00:09:58,793 --> 00:10:00,960 ♪ You've got to act now ♪ 274 00:10:00,962 --> 00:10:02,728 ♪ Stay one step ahead ♪ 275 00:10:02,730 --> 00:10:05,297 ♪ Of that moronic text somehow ♪ 276 00:10:05,299 --> 00:10:07,466 ♪ There's no turning back ♪ 277 00:10:07,468 --> 00:10:09,468 ♪ Here in the danger zone ♪ 278 00:10:09,470 --> 00:10:12,538 ♪ You've got to manually delete that text ♪ 279 00:10:12,540 --> 00:10:15,107 ♪ From that dude's cell phone... ♪ 280 00:10:15,109 --> 00:10:16,342 Thank you, officers! 281 00:10:16,344 --> 00:10:17,343 Good luck, Rebecca! 282 00:10:17,345 --> 00:10:20,613 ♪ It's a text-mergency ♪ 283 00:10:20,615 --> 00:10:23,415 ♪ Baby can't you see ♪ 284 00:10:23,417 --> 00:10:24,883 ♪ Text-mergency ♪ 285 00:10:24,885 --> 00:10:26,652 ♪ That term just occurred to me ♪ 286 00:10:26,654 --> 00:10:29,388 ♪ It's gonna catch on instantly ♪ 287 00:10:29,390 --> 00:10:31,123 Wait, what about... 288 00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:32,725 ♪ Text-tastrophe ♪ 289 00:10:32,727 --> 00:10:35,694 ♪ That sounds better to me ♪ 290 00:10:35,696 --> 00:10:37,329 ♪ Text-tastrophe ♪ 291 00:10:37,331 --> 00:10:39,064 ♪ That could really spread virally ♪ 292 00:10:39,066 --> 00:10:41,233 ♪ I prefer text-mergency! ♪ 293 00:10:44,193 --> 00:10:47,122 _ 294 00:10:51,112 --> 00:10:53,812 ♪ I accidentally texted my mother-in-law ♪ 295 00:10:53,814 --> 00:10:56,115 ♪ A picture of my erection ♪ 296 00:10:56,117 --> 00:10:58,150 ♪ I once group-texted my whole staff ♪ 297 00:10:58,152 --> 00:11:00,619 ♪ About my yeast infection ♪ 298 00:11:00,621 --> 00:11:02,421 ♪ Exactly, it's so relatable ♪ 299 00:11:02,423 --> 00:11:05,557 ♪ That's why I coined the phrase... ♪ 300 00:11:05,559 --> 00:11:06,925 ♪ Text-tastrophe ♪ 301 00:11:06,927 --> 00:11:10,095 ♪ That's the meme, don't you agree? ♪ 302 00:11:10,097 --> 00:11:12,097 All due respect. 303 00:11:12,099 --> 00:11:16,935 ♪ Text-mergency is the better term, Miss C. ♪ 304 00:11:16,937 --> 00:11:18,837 Um, I want to go with... 305 00:11:18,839 --> 00:11:20,639 ♪ Text-tastrophe ♪ 306 00:11:20,641 --> 00:11:23,809 ♪ I already put it on Urban Dictionary... ♪ 307 00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:29,381 You fools, it doesn't matter what it's called. 308 00:11:29,383 --> 00:11:32,017 That's right, it's me, the ghost of Steve Jobs. 309 00:11:32,019 --> 00:11:35,087 What matters is that I control your lives from the grave. 310 00:11:35,089 --> 00:11:38,123 Technology is slowly alienating everyone from their loved ones. 311 00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:41,694 And when you send a few words to the wrong recipient 312 00:11:41,696 --> 00:11:43,629 and it immediately destroys your entire life, 313 00:11:43,631 --> 00:11:44,563 that's called a... 314 00:11:44,565 --> 00:11:46,498 ♪ Message-pocalypse ♪ 315 00:11:46,500 --> 00:11:48,600 ♪ Get out of here, Steve Jobs! ♪ 316 00:11:51,172 --> 00:11:53,539 Guys, what about that lawyer chick? 317 00:11:53,541 --> 00:11:55,474 We've gotten really off track. 318 00:11:55,476 --> 00:11:58,177 ♪ She's searching for the spare key ♪ 319 00:11:58,179 --> 00:11:59,812 ♪ Look under the mat! ♪ 320 00:12:01,515 --> 00:12:04,350 ♪ It's clearly hidden in that owl! ♪ 321 00:12:05,986 --> 00:12:08,520 ♪ Look in that flower pot, hurry... ♪ 322 00:12:10,658 --> 00:12:13,559 ♪ Hurry up and check that Buddha sconce... ♪ 323 00:12:14,962 --> 00:12:19,732 ♪ Check the Buddha sconce, check the Buddha sconce! ♪ 324 00:12:21,569 --> 00:12:22,901 Yes! 325 00:12:22,903 --> 00:12:24,269 ♪ She did it ♪ 326 00:12:24,271 --> 00:12:26,038 ♪ Now she can delete the text ♪ 327 00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:29,975 ♪ She won't need to come up with a... ♪ 328 00:12:29,977 --> 00:12:31,377 ♪ Text-scuse ♪ 329 00:12:31,379 --> 00:12:33,445 ♪ Text-planation. ♪ 330 00:12:34,648 --> 00:12:36,315 Text-mergency just flows. 331 00:12:36,317 --> 00:12:37,950 No, dude, text-tastrophe. 332 00:12:37,952 --> 00:12:39,251 It's what it is. Dude, she's totally right. 333 00:12:39,253 --> 00:12:40,853 Text-scuse me? 334 00:12:48,362 --> 00:12:50,195 Okay. 335 00:12:53,067 --> 00:12:54,366 Pass-code, shoot. 336 00:12:54,368 --> 00:12:56,034 Uh... uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. 337 00:12:56,036 --> 00:12:57,369 Jesus's birthday? 338 00:12:57,371 --> 00:12:59,405 12-25, no. 339 00:12:59,407 --> 00:13:01,840 Uh, last four of social? 340 00:13:01,842 --> 00:13:03,842 3-1-2-4, no. 341 00:13:03,844 --> 00:13:05,210 Valencia's birthday? 342 00:13:05,212 --> 00:13:07,713 Let's see, it's 5-5... 5-5-8-8. 343 00:13:07,715 --> 00:13:09,782 Yes! Oh, God, he really loves her. 344 00:13:09,784 --> 00:13:11,450 Okay. 345 00:13:11,452 --> 00:13:13,685 Text messages. 346 00:13:13,687 --> 00:13:16,855 “Rebecca Bunch,” ooh, that's a bad one. 347 00:13:25,958 --> 00:13:29,105 _ 348 00:13:37,011 --> 00:13:39,077 ♪ Don't smell the shirt ♪ 349 00:13:39,079 --> 00:13:42,013 ♪ You're running out of time. ♪ 350 00:13:44,952 --> 00:13:46,819 All right. 351 00:13:54,744 --> 00:13:58,692 _ 352 00:14:01,490 --> 00:14:03,948 Honey, you heard what Father Brah said. 353 00:14:04,073 --> 00:14:05,740 We need to really connect. 354 00:14:05,742 --> 00:14:07,141 Put the phone away. 355 00:14:07,143 --> 00:14:08,690 You're right. 356 00:14:08,829 --> 00:14:10,729 You're absolutely right. 357 00:14:11,044 --> 00:14:14,737 Okay, let's do this, let's... connect. 358 00:14:34,004 --> 00:14:35,937 You blinked. I win. 359 00:14:35,962 --> 00:14:37,362 I-I don't think that's what we're supposed to be doing. 360 00:14:37,387 --> 00:14:39,253 I don't know what we're supposed to be doing. 361 00:14:39,278 --> 00:14:41,424 Maybe we should hold hands. 362 00:14:41,511 --> 00:14:42,893 Okay. 363 00:14:52,136 --> 00:14:53,469 You know, mine is really good. 364 00:14:53,471 --> 00:14:54,536 Do you want to try it? 365 00:14:54,538 --> 00:14:56,105 Sure. 366 00:14:56,107 --> 00:14:57,973 Uh, okay. 367 00:15:17,815 --> 00:15:19,463 Mmm. 368 00:15:19,797 --> 00:15:20,762 This is nice. 369 00:15:20,764 --> 00:15:21,930 Yep. 370 00:15:24,456 --> 00:15:25,534 Josh. 371 00:15:25,536 --> 00:15:27,469 What are you... ? 372 00:15:27,471 --> 00:15:29,972 Oh... my God, thank God you're back. 373 00:15:29,974 --> 00:15:31,607 What's going on? 374 00:15:31,609 --> 00:15:33,142 Uh, how did you get in here? 375 00:15:33,144 --> 00:15:35,310 How does anyone get in anywhere? 376 00:15:35,312 --> 00:15:37,713 It's like we're there, and then we're here. 377 00:15:37,715 --> 00:15:39,314 Aah, God. 378 00:15:39,316 --> 00:15:40,649 What? 379 00:15:40,651 --> 00:15:43,552 Okay, slow down, slow down, slow down. 380 00:15:43,554 --> 00:15:44,987 Just slow down. 381 00:15:44,989 --> 00:15:49,825 Okay, uh, give me a second to just get my story straight. 382 00:15:49,827 --> 00:15:51,260 Did you break in? 383 00:15:51,262 --> 00:15:53,295 Break-in, yes, there was a break-in. 384 00:15:53,297 --> 00:15:55,931 But not here, not here, never here. 385 00:15:55,933 --> 00:15:57,633 - What? - Okay. 386 00:15:57,635 --> 00:16:00,235 So I was in my, uh, apartment, 387 00:16:00,237 --> 00:16:02,938 and, uh, somebody did the thing that you... 388 00:16:02,940 --> 00:16:04,306 you were just saying, the thing that you were just saying. 389 00:16:04,308 --> 00:16:05,874 - They broke in? - Yes. 390 00:16:05,876 --> 00:16:07,509 Yes, you're so good. We should have a charades night. 391 00:16:07,511 --> 00:16:08,944 - Okay, Rebecca... - I haven't seen anyone since the beach. 392 00:16:08,946 --> 00:16:11,346 Rebecca, wait, wait, someone broke into your house? 393 00:16:11,348 --> 00:16:15,317 Yes, yes, they broke in, and, um, they-they smashed it, 394 00:16:15,319 --> 00:16:17,586 uh, with a big... 395 00:16:17,588 --> 00:16:18,954 - Rock. - Yes. 396 00:16:18,956 --> 00:16:19,922 You're so good at this. 397 00:16:19,924 --> 00:16:20,956 We should do teams of two. 398 00:16:20,958 --> 00:16:21,924 When are you next free? 399 00:16:21,926 --> 00:16:22,925 Wait, wait, Rebecca, Rebecca. 400 00:16:22,927 --> 00:16:24,126 Just hold yourself together. 401 00:16:24,128 --> 00:16:25,727 Did you call the police? 402 00:16:25,729 --> 00:16:27,362 No, no, no cops. 403 00:16:27,364 --> 00:16:28,864 No, didn't call the police. 404 00:16:28,866 --> 00:16:30,032 So why are you here? 405 00:16:30,034 --> 00:16:31,533 Slow down! 406 00:16:31,535 --> 00:16:32,768 Okay, so after I couldn't reach you, 407 00:16:32,770 --> 00:16:34,102 I came here to be with you and your girlfriend. 408 00:16:34,104 --> 00:16:35,003 All right, all right, all right. 409 00:16:35,005 --> 00:16:36,939 - So take a deep breath. - Okay. 410 00:16:36,941 --> 00:16:39,341 I'm gonna say this as slowly as possible. 411 00:16:39,343 --> 00:16:40,342 Okay. 412 00:16:40,344 --> 00:16:43,378 Okay, so someone used a rock 413 00:16:43,380 --> 00:16:47,213 and broke into your apartment? 414 00:16:48,118 --> 00:16:49,651 Was-was anything taken? 415 00:16:49,653 --> 00:16:51,954 No. No, just the rock through the window. 416 00:16:51,956 --> 00:16:54,089 So I was scared, and I came here, 417 00:16:54,091 --> 00:16:56,440 and the door was unlocked. 418 00:16:56,794 --> 00:16:58,160 Oh, man. 419 00:16:58,162 --> 00:17:00,195 I mean, you know, I do that sometimes. 420 00:17:00,197 --> 00:17:02,831 Did I leave the fridge open, too? 421 00:17:02,833 --> 00:17:06,190 Yes, you did, and I closed it, and I saved a lot of cold cuts. 422 00:17:06,370 --> 00:17:08,670 Geez. Uh, you know what, thank you. 423 00:17:08,672 --> 00:17:12,274 L-Look, okay, you're really upset. 424 00:17:12,276 --> 00:17:14,543 Yeah, I-I am really upset. 425 00:17:14,545 --> 00:17:17,246 You know what, I'm probably... I'm probably overreacting. 426 00:17:17,248 --> 00:17:19,748 It's not a big deal. I'm gonna get out of your hair. 427 00:17:22,385 --> 00:17:23,318 Wait. 428 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:24,963 Yeah? 429 00:17:26,223 --> 00:17:28,143 I don't feel okay about this. 430 00:17:29,057 --> 00:17:30,392 You don't? 431 00:17:30,394 --> 00:17:31,495 Of course not. 432 00:17:31,929 --> 00:17:32,961 Look at you. 433 00:17:32,963 --> 00:17:35,831 I can't send you home alone. 434 00:17:35,833 --> 00:17:37,995 Look how scared you are. 435 00:17:39,136 --> 00:17:41,471 You look like a tiny scared little bird. 436 00:17:41,963 --> 00:17:43,372 I do? 437 00:17:45,109 --> 00:17:46,831 Josh, I, um... 438 00:17:47,411 --> 00:17:50,045 I'm so sorry that I just came in your house. 439 00:17:50,047 --> 00:17:51,026 No. No, it's okay, you were scared. 440 00:17:51,051 --> 00:17:54,349 Look, why don't we go back to your place, 441 00:17:54,351 --> 00:17:55,659 and I'll make sure it's all okay. 442 00:17:56,737 --> 00:17:59,054 Thank you, Josh. 443 00:17:59,056 --> 00:18:00,555 I'm not scared anymore. 444 00:18:00,557 --> 00:18:02,691 And we'll get that broken window fixed, right? 445 00:18:02,693 --> 00:18:04,440 Mmm, broken window. 446 00:18:05,696 --> 00:18:06,706 Broken window. 447 00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:09,354 Yes... 448 00:18:10,067 --> 00:18:11,133 Yes. 449 00:18:11,135 --> 00:18:12,668 Cool, let me just change. 450 00:18:12,670 --> 00:18:15,070 Great, and, hey, shower if you're feeling it. 451 00:18:15,072 --> 00:18:16,038 No rush. 452 00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:18,273 It's really... really no rush. 453 00:18:19,510 --> 00:18:23,276 God, Paula, I hope your marriage is fixed by now. 454 00:18:26,450 --> 00:18:28,450 Ugh, just push it through. 455 00:18:28,452 --> 00:18:29,785 No, no, we can save the cork. 456 00:18:29,787 --> 00:18:30,819 No, we can't. 457 00:18:30,821 --> 00:18:32,120 Be realistic, okay? 458 00:18:32,122 --> 00:18:33,755 We just got to push the cork through 459 00:18:33,757 --> 00:18:36,758 and drink the wine with dirty little pieces of cork in it. 460 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:39,198 Is it great? No, but that's life. 461 00:18:41,999 --> 00:18:43,665 I am not going to answer that. 462 00:18:43,667 --> 00:18:44,815 Nope. 463 00:18:46,070 --> 00:18:49,171 I just hope it doesn't have something to do with the kids. 464 00:18:49,173 --> 00:18:51,096 They're upstairs. 465 00:18:52,026 --> 00:18:53,241 That's right. 466 00:18:53,243 --> 00:18:55,792 And you know how much trouble they can get into upstairs. 467 00:18:55,946 --> 00:18:58,948 I'm just gonna check, just for peace of mind. 468 00:19:00,795 --> 00:19:02,461 Oh, it's my mom. 469 00:19:02,635 --> 00:19:03,852 Something must be wrong. 470 00:19:03,854 --> 00:19:05,787 It's so late up in Buffalo. 471 00:19:05,789 --> 00:19:07,807 Her-her gout must be bothering her. 472 00:19:08,192 --> 00:19:09,524 Mom, everything okay? 473 00:19:09,526 --> 00:19:10,959 Joints flaring up? 474 00:19:10,961 --> 00:19:14,062 Hi. So, okay, Josh caught me coming in his house, 475 00:19:14,064 --> 00:19:15,630 and I started panicking, 476 00:19:15,632 --> 00:19:17,165 and I told him that we'd be good at charades, 477 00:19:17,167 --> 00:19:18,533 and now he's being all protective and masculine... 478 00:19:18,535 --> 00:19:19,901 He smells like karate, and I love it... 479 00:19:19,903 --> 00:19:21,336 And he's getting dressed now, 480 00:19:21,338 --> 00:19:23,405 so what I need you to do is I need you to go to my house, 481 00:19:23,407 --> 00:19:25,006 stop what you're doing, and throw a rock 482 00:19:25,008 --> 00:19:26,792 through my sliding glass door right now, okay? 483 00:19:28,430 --> 00:19:29,696 Copy that. 484 00:19:30,260 --> 00:19:32,314 Did you say “copy that” to your mom? 485 00:19:32,316 --> 00:19:36,418 Yes, I have to make copies for her health insurance. 486 00:19:36,420 --> 00:19:38,620 Okay, yeah, that's enough. 487 00:19:38,622 --> 00:19:40,322 Who calls you all the time? 488 00:19:40,324 --> 00:19:41,323 You think I haven't noticed? 489 00:19:41,325 --> 00:19:42,891 What's really going on? 490 00:19:42,893 --> 00:19:44,025 I don't have time for this, Scott, okay? 491 00:19:44,027 --> 00:19:45,026 I got to go. 492 00:19:45,028 --> 00:19:46,294 I'll be back in an hour, tops. 493 00:19:46,296 --> 00:19:48,296 It's the Peewee football coach, isn't it? 494 00:19:48,298 --> 00:19:49,965 I see him coming back for seconds 495 00:19:49,967 --> 00:19:51,533 when you bring the orange slices. 496 00:19:51,535 --> 00:19:52,868 Oh, my God, no. 497 00:19:52,870 --> 00:19:54,469 Scott, uh, look, I have to go. 498 00:19:54,471 --> 00:19:56,805 Paula, if you walk out that door without me, 499 00:19:56,807 --> 00:19:59,474 you're rocking the boat in the bad way. Big time. 500 00:19:59,838 --> 00:20:01,176 Ugh, fine. 501 00:20:01,178 --> 00:20:02,444 Come with me then, okay? 502 00:20:02,446 --> 00:20:05,823 But you... you cannot ask any questions, okay? 503 00:20:11,155 --> 00:20:14,156 All right, let's go clean up some broken glass. 504 00:20:14,243 --> 00:20:17,151 Hey, uh, first, can I just get a glass of water? 505 00:20:17,261 --> 00:20:18,560 - Uh, sure. - Thanks. 506 00:20:18,562 --> 00:20:20,620 And, uh, a toast with almond butter? 507 00:20:20,885 --> 00:20:24,794 And a sliced apple cut into... very tiny slices. 508 00:20:34,859 --> 00:20:36,542 I know I'm not supposed to ask any questions, 509 00:20:36,567 --> 00:20:38,300 but can I ask what you're looking for? 510 00:20:38,325 --> 00:20:40,557 Yeah, I need a rock, like, a nice-sized one. 511 00:20:40,789 --> 00:20:41,754 Can I help you look? 512 00:20:42,495 --> 00:20:44,239 Uh, okay sure. 513 00:20:44,241 --> 00:20:45,284 I mean, uh, if you want to. 514 00:20:45,309 --> 00:20:46,308 Awesome. 515 00:20:47,863 --> 00:20:49,229 First I got to use the bathroom. 516 00:20:49,254 --> 00:20:50,587 You know how my body deals with excitement. 517 00:20:50,927 --> 00:20:52,593 Okay, use the sliding glass door, it's always open. 518 00:20:52,618 --> 00:20:53,859 But hurry up, okay? 519 00:20:53,884 --> 00:20:55,717 Be right back. 520 00:21:01,725 --> 00:21:03,745 Oh, God, I just need a rock. 521 00:21:03,770 --> 00:21:05,069 I hate Southern California! 522 00:21:05,094 --> 00:21:07,361 No rocks, no dirt, no sticks! 523 00:21:09,078 --> 00:21:10,667 Paula, look. 524 00:21:11,949 --> 00:21:13,782 Oh, my God, babe, it's beautiful. 525 00:21:13,861 --> 00:21:15,227 It's textbook. 526 00:21:15,252 --> 00:21:16,352 It's like the image you get 527 00:21:16,377 --> 00:21:17,743 when you Google the word “rock”" 528 00:21:17,768 --> 00:21:19,668 Now what do we do? 529 00:21:19,693 --> 00:21:20,667 Go, go, go, go, go! 530 00:21:20,692 --> 00:21:21,824 Go, go! 531 00:21:21,849 --> 00:21:23,979 Go, go, go, go, go! 532 00:21:24,135 --> 00:21:25,090 Chuck it! 533 00:21:25,115 --> 00:21:26,081 What? 534 00:21:26,083 --> 00:21:27,482 Scott, throw it through the window. 535 00:21:27,484 --> 00:21:28,683 I can't throw it... 536 00:21:28,685 --> 00:21:29,784 Scott, the boat is sinking. 537 00:21:29,786 --> 00:21:32,948 Throw the rock through the widow! 538 00:21:39,629 --> 00:21:40,929 I can't believe we did that. 539 00:21:40,931 --> 00:21:42,931 Uh, what else can we break? 540 00:21:42,933 --> 00:21:44,499 Oh, I still got to pee! 541 00:21:48,917 --> 00:21:51,139 So, I just want to let you know I was thinking about it 542 00:21:51,141 --> 00:21:53,108 in the car and what if the bad guys felt really bad 543 00:21:53,110 --> 00:21:54,709 about what they'd done and-and they and they went 544 00:21:54,711 --> 00:21:56,377 and cleaned it up, 'cause I've heard about that happening. 545 00:21:56,646 --> 00:21:58,737 Oh, my gosh, that's... 546 00:21:58,762 --> 00:21:59,940 I shouldn't be surprised, 547 00:21:59,965 --> 00:22:01,098 because that's the way I left it. 548 00:22:01,123 --> 00:22:02,096 Yeah, that's broken glass. 549 00:22:02,121 --> 00:22:03,081 That's a lot of broken glass. 550 00:22:03,106 --> 00:22:04,572 Yeah, that's a legitimate... 551 00:22:04,757 --> 00:22:06,056 Wow. It's a legitimate mess. 552 00:22:06,081 --> 00:22:08,088 Well, I mean, this is really creepy. 553 00:22:08,113 --> 00:22:09,512 But at least you're not hurt. 554 00:22:09,537 --> 00:22:10,903 That's the most important thing. 555 00:22:10,962 --> 00:22:12,440 Is it? 556 00:22:12,761 --> 00:22:13,894 Of course! 557 00:22:13,919 --> 00:22:15,652 You can always replace a door, but, 558 00:22:15,677 --> 00:22:17,543 you know, there's only one Becks. 559 00:22:18,284 --> 00:22:21,807 Oh, well, there's only one Josh Chan. 560 00:22:21,832 --> 00:22:23,698 Actually, there's a lot of Josh Chan’s. 561 00:22:23,723 --> 00:22:24,989 There's one in Azusa. 562 00:22:25,142 --> 00:22:26,620 Yeah, I used to play him in soccer. 563 00:22:28,060 --> 00:22:29,493 Wow, um, 564 00:22:29,518 --> 00:22:31,185 I feel 565 00:22:31,415 --> 00:22:33,048 really rattled. 566 00:22:33,050 --> 00:22:34,182 I need some wine. 567 00:22:34,184 --> 00:22:35,316 Do you want some wine? 568 00:22:35,318 --> 00:22:36,451 You know what? Sure. 569 00:22:36,453 --> 00:22:37,786 - Let's do it. - Great. 570 00:22:37,788 --> 00:22:39,387 Uh, oh, can I have ice in mine? 571 00:22:39,389 --> 00:22:41,523 Yeah, okay, iced wine. 572 00:22:41,525 --> 00:22:43,127 Coming up. 573 00:22:43,247 --> 00:22:45,847 And then we'll clean up some glass. 574 00:22:45,872 --> 00:22:46,905 Okay. 575 00:22:47,064 --> 00:22:48,263 Oh, yeah, here you go. 576 00:22:48,265 --> 00:22:49,364 Let me get that. 577 00:22:49,366 --> 00:22:51,346 Oh, thank you. 578 00:22:51,601 --> 00:22:52,867 Hey, um, 579 00:22:53,182 --> 00:22:55,036 I feel really safe with you here. 580 00:22:55,038 --> 00:22:56,271 Thank you. 581 00:22:56,273 --> 00:22:57,354 Of course. 582 00:22:57,379 --> 00:22:58,845 It's the least I can do. 583 00:22:58,870 --> 00:23:00,018 Thank you. 584 00:23:02,012 --> 00:23:04,846 Hey. You know, I'm thinking out loud. 585 00:23:04,848 --> 00:23:06,881 As-as long as we're having wine... 586 00:23:06,883 --> 00:23:09,317 Oh, cheers, by the way. Eyes. 587 00:23:09,319 --> 00:23:10,385 There we go. 588 00:23:10,387 --> 00:23:11,653 Um, I'm pretty hungry. 589 00:23:11,655 --> 00:23:12,854 Do-do you want to get some food? 590 00:23:12,856 --> 00:23:15,245 There's a great fondue place that-that delivers right around the corner. 591 00:23:15,270 --> 00:23:16,651 Sounds great. I've never had it. 592 00:23:16,772 --> 00:23:18,104 Great. 593 00:23:18,528 --> 00:23:20,261 God... 594 00:23:20,799 --> 00:23:23,198 You've really just turned this night around for me. 595 00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:24,081 Ah... 596 00:23:24,106 --> 00:23:25,690 You know, I was so scared 597 00:23:25,745 --> 00:23:27,745 but now, um, 598 00:23:27,747 --> 00:23:29,246 I just feel like a piece of bread 599 00:23:29,248 --> 00:23:30,915 in a warm bath of cheese. 600 00:23:30,917 --> 00:23:32,183 Hmm. 601 00:23:32,185 --> 00:23:33,217 That's fondue. 602 00:23:33,219 --> 00:23:34,251 I'm describing fondue. 603 00:23:34,253 --> 00:23:35,486 Oh, gotcha. 604 00:23:35,488 --> 00:23:37,054 Yeah, I thought it was some kind of soup. 605 00:23:37,056 --> 00:23:38,122 No! I'm sorry. 606 00:23:38,124 --> 00:23:39,724 That was confusing. That was my bad. 607 00:23:41,461 --> 00:23:43,260 Hmm, that's weird. I'm not expecting anybody. 608 00:23:43,262 --> 00:23:45,696 Oh, it's probably the cops. 609 00:23:45,698 --> 00:23:46,797 Cops... Sorry, hmm? 610 00:23:46,799 --> 00:23:47,898 Josh? 611 00:23:47,900 --> 00:23:48,733 You called the cops? 612 00:23:48,735 --> 00:23:49,767 Of course I did. 613 00:23:49,769 --> 00:23:50,868 No, no, but Josh, Josh, 614 00:23:50,870 --> 00:23:52,036 J-Josh, you know what they say. 615 00:23:52,038 --> 00:23:53,371 Snitches get stitches. 616 00:23:53,373 --> 00:23:54,905 Come on in, Officer. 617 00:23:54,907 --> 00:23:56,640 I got a call about the attempted burglary? 618 00:23:56,642 --> 00:23:59,043 You know what? The-the glass is just smashed. 619 00:23:59,045 --> 00:24:00,544 They smashed the whole door. 620 00:24:00,546 --> 00:24:01,912 Don't worry, I'm here now. 621 00:24:01,914 --> 00:24:03,414 And rest assured, ma'am, 622 00:24:03,596 --> 00:24:05,930 I won't stop till I get to the bottom of this. 623 00:24:12,698 --> 00:24:14,431 When did the incident occur? 624 00:24:14,433 --> 00:24:15,699 You know, no idea. 625 00:24:15,701 --> 00:24:17,167 I, uh, it was like this when I got home. 626 00:24:17,169 --> 00:24:19,651 Why didn't you call the police when you first discovered the window? 627 00:24:19,676 --> 00:24:20,942 I panicked, you know? 628 00:24:21,039 --> 00:24:22,239 I just, I-I-I freaked out. 629 00:24:22,241 --> 00:24:23,340 And I just, I fled. 630 00:24:23,342 --> 00:24:24,608 “Fled”? 631 00:24:24,610 --> 00:24:25,842 Yeah, slow down! 632 00:24:25,844 --> 00:24:27,210 Okay, okay, just tell him 633 00:24:27,212 --> 00:24:29,012 what you know, Becks. 634 00:24:29,014 --> 00:24:31,715 She can't follow if you talk too fast. 635 00:24:34,026 --> 00:24:35,051 Okay. 636 00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:37,120 Whew. 637 00:24:37,122 --> 00:24:39,122 So what happened 638 00:24:39,124 --> 00:24:40,757 is my friend, Josh Chan, 639 00:24:40,759 --> 00:24:42,948 called you because... 640 00:24:43,695 --> 00:24:45,495 he is so protective of me. 641 00:24:45,497 --> 00:24:47,230 Bless him. But I understand 642 00:24:47,232 --> 00:24:48,732 that this is not really worth your time. 643 00:24:48,734 --> 00:24:50,433 And the reason for that 644 00:24:50,435 --> 00:24:51,518 I will go into right now. 645 00:24:51,543 --> 00:24:54,573 All right, as I look at this crime scene, 646 00:24:54,598 --> 00:24:56,456 there appears to be no evidence of theft 647 00:24:56,481 --> 00:25:00,251 or any sign that someone entered the apartment at all. 648 00:25:00,276 --> 00:25:02,946 Let's take a closer look at the shards of glass, shall we? 649 00:25:02,948 --> 00:25:05,081 Now, when I look at these shards of glass, 650 00:25:05,083 --> 00:25:07,050 there is also no evidence of secondary compression 651 00:25:07,052 --> 00:25:09,753 by a shoe or shoes, to use the plural. 652 00:25:09,755 --> 00:25:11,555 So I think we can safely say 653 00:25:11,557 --> 00:25:13,056 that no matter what transpired here, 654 00:25:13,058 --> 00:25:15,358 we will never be able to prove a 459. 655 00:25:15,360 --> 00:25:16,660 Josh, that's burglary. 656 00:25:16,662 --> 00:25:18,261 Now, sir, I am a lawyer, 657 00:25:18,263 --> 00:25:19,896 as you might've guessed, and I know, 658 00:25:19,898 --> 00:25:21,398 looking at the glass breakage here, 659 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:23,466 the most we'll be able to prove is, uh, maybe a 596? 660 00:25:23,468 --> 00:25:24,768 Josh, that's vandalism. 661 00:25:24,770 --> 00:25:26,503 Now, I know how hard 662 00:25:26,505 --> 00:25:28,305 the officers of this city work. 663 00:25:28,307 --> 00:25:29,839 And the last thing I want 664 00:25:29,841 --> 00:25:31,741 is for you to work on a bunch of forms tonight. 665 00:25:31,743 --> 00:25:33,743 I mean, those 596 forms, they're a real bitch. 666 00:25:33,745 --> 00:25:35,545 You're not wrong. 667 00:25:35,547 --> 00:25:36,613 Exactly! I mean, 668 00:25:36,615 --> 00:25:38,615 23 pages for a nonviolent crime? 669 00:25:38,617 --> 00:25:39,916 What do I need... a hobby? 670 00:25:39,918 --> 00:25:40,995 I didn't think so. 671 00:25:41,020 --> 00:25:43,653 So, let's get you out of here. 672 00:25:43,655 --> 00:25:45,555 Let's get you back out on the streets, Officer Rhodes. 673 00:25:45,557 --> 00:25:47,257 Yeah, sorry, Officer. 674 00:25:47,259 --> 00:25:49,392 Or you're welcome to stay for some fondue. 675 00:25:49,394 --> 00:25:50,660 Oh, I wish! 676 00:25:50,662 --> 00:25:51,928 Love those steak cubes. 677 00:25:51,930 --> 00:25:53,697 Wait a minute, I thought it was cheese. 678 00:25:56,235 --> 00:25:57,968 Well, now I really need some wine. 679 00:25:57,970 --> 00:25:59,436 Oh, my God. Me, too. 680 00:25:59,438 --> 00:26:01,071 Hand it over. 681 00:26:01,073 --> 00:26:03,039 Ah, now where were we? 682 00:26:03,041 --> 00:26:04,441 Oh, right. 683 00:26:04,443 --> 00:26:07,043 Cheers. 684 00:26:08,413 --> 00:26:09,946 You were great back there. 685 00:26:09,948 --> 00:26:11,214 No, you were. 686 00:26:11,216 --> 00:26:12,716 Mm-mm. You saved the day. 687 00:26:12,718 --> 00:26:14,294 I never committed a crime before. 688 00:26:14,682 --> 00:26:16,052 Why did I commit a crime again? 689 00:26:16,054 --> 00:26:18,021 We said no questions, remember? 690 00:26:18,023 --> 00:26:20,257 Aw, come on, tell me, please? 691 00:26:20,259 --> 00:26:21,658 No. 692 00:26:21,660 --> 00:26:23,960 Gonna have to try and get it out of me. 693 00:26:24,237 --> 00:26:25,028 Oh. 694 00:26:25,030 --> 00:26:26,823 Where do you keep your answers? 695 00:26:32,944 --> 00:26:34,361 I'm sorry. 696 00:26:35,939 --> 00:26:38,306 I know I've been distant lately and... 697 00:26:38,823 --> 00:26:42,312 it's not just because I almost had an affair 698 00:26:42,314 --> 00:26:45,456 with a hunky industrial real estate tycoon from Tucson. 699 00:26:46,065 --> 00:26:46,995 What? 700 00:26:47,020 --> 00:26:49,832 It's a long story and nothing happened. 701 00:26:50,085 --> 00:26:51,768 It was just jazz. 702 00:26:52,257 --> 00:26:53,573 Wow, huh. 703 00:26:54,026 --> 00:26:56,026 Well, then I feel a lot better about the fact 704 00:26:56,028 --> 00:26:57,727 that I almost slept with Misty from shipping. 705 00:26:57,729 --> 00:26:59,195 Misty? 706 00:26:59,197 --> 00:27:00,659 Really? 707 00:27:01,307 --> 00:27:02,499 You know, I can see that. 708 00:27:02,501 --> 00:27:03,533 She has slut face. 709 00:27:04,661 --> 00:27:05,478 God! 710 00:27:05,893 --> 00:27:07,226 Father Brah's right. 711 00:27:07,306 --> 00:27:08,972 We've both been major holes, huh? 712 00:27:08,974 --> 00:27:10,907 God. we really have! 713 00:27:10,909 --> 00:27:12,542 I am so sorry. 714 00:27:12,544 --> 00:27:14,034 I don't want another man. 715 00:27:14,246 --> 00:27:16,913 I mean, the only thing I've been cheating on you with 716 00:27:16,915 --> 00:27:17,979 is... 717 00:27:18,711 --> 00:27:20,651 Rebecca's love life. 718 00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:23,019 She's so in love, 719 00:27:23,021 --> 00:27:24,654 and it-it's just been so intoxicating 720 00:27:24,656 --> 00:27:26,790 to witness it in its purest form. 721 00:27:26,792 --> 00:27:29,807 I'm... I'm addicted. 722 00:27:30,338 --> 00:27:31,728 Who's she in love with? 723 00:27:32,799 --> 00:27:34,197 You really want to know? 724 00:27:34,199 --> 00:27:35,365 Yes, I do. 725 00:27:35,367 --> 00:27:37,065 And we got nothing but time right now. 726 00:27:37,956 --> 00:27:39,151 Okay. 727 00:27:40,038 --> 00:27:42,005 Well, what happened was 728 00:27:42,182 --> 00:27:44,374 she was working hard at a New York job 729 00:27:44,376 --> 00:27:46,576 making dough, but it made her blue. 730 00:27:46,578 --> 00:27:48,111 One day, she was crying a lot, 731 00:27:48,113 --> 00:27:51,881 and so she decided to move to West Covina, California. 732 00:27:52,190 --> 00:27:53,783 Brand new pals, new career. 733 00:27:53,785 --> 00:27:56,479 It happens to be where Josh lives. Ah. 734 00:27:56,565 --> 00:27:59,122 And that's exactly why she's here. 735 00:27:59,124 --> 00:28:01,925 She's a crazy ex-girlfriend. 736 00:28:01,927 --> 00:28:03,126 Wha... ? No, she's not. 737 00:28:03,128 --> 00:28:04,394 She's a crazy ex-girlfriend. 738 00:28:04,396 --> 00:28:05,628 That's a sexist term, Scott. 739 00:28:05,630 --> 00:28:07,163 She's a crazy ex-girlfriend. 740 00:28:07,165 --> 00:28:08,765 Okay, just stop talking for a second. 741 00:28:08,767 --> 00:28:10,333 She's so broken inside. 742 00:28:10,335 --> 00:28:12,502 This situation has a lot more nuance than that. 743 00:28:12,504 --> 00:28:14,037 C-R-A-Z-Y! 744 00:28:14,039 --> 00:28:15,627 I know how to spell, Scott. 745 00:28:15,652 --> 00:28:16,885 She's a crazy ex-girlfriend. 746 00:28:18,033 --> 00:28:19,659 _ 747 00:28:20,912 --> 00:28:23,413 Wow, good thing you brought those gloves. 748 00:28:23,415 --> 00:28:25,648 Oh, yeah, I've got gloves for every situation. 749 00:28:25,650 --> 00:28:28,818 I mean, cleaning, baseball, 750 00:28:28,820 --> 00:28:30,387 golfing, 751 00:28:30,389 --> 00:28:33,123 uh, driving, go-karts, boxing. 752 00:28:33,125 --> 00:28:35,120 You have all the gloves. 753 00:28:36,061 --> 00:28:37,827 No way. 754 00:28:37,829 --> 00:28:39,129 Is that what I think it is? 755 00:28:39,131 --> 00:28:40,597 Oh, my gosh, what? Is it, like, a penny? 756 00:28:40,599 --> 00:28:41,631 The rock they threw 757 00:28:41,633 --> 00:28:43,323 in the window. 758 00:28:43,734 --> 00:28:45,768 Wow, it's, like, a perfect rock. 759 00:28:45,871 --> 00:28:48,071 - Like textbook. - Yeah. 760 00:28:52,721 --> 00:28:54,077 ♪ Where is the rock ♪ 761 00:28:54,079 --> 00:28:56,279 - ♪ Rock ♪ - ♪ That says ever ♪ 762 00:28:56,281 --> 00:28:58,515 - ♪ Where is the rock ♪ - ♪ Rock ♪ 763 00:28:58,517 --> 00:29:00,583 ♪ That says ever ♪ 764 00:29:00,585 --> 00:29:03,219 ♪ If the rock came from inside your house ♪ 765 00:29:03,221 --> 00:29:05,121 ♪ That means he has to believe ♪ 766 00:29:05,123 --> 00:29:07,290 ♪ That someone broke into your house ♪ 767 00:29:07,292 --> 00:29:10,326 - ♪ And then picked up a rock ♪ - ♪ Rock ♪ 768 00:29:10,328 --> 00:29:13,430 ♪ And then went outside and threw it through your window ♪ 769 00:29:13,432 --> 00:29:18,001 ♪ That would be a super weird crime ♪ 770 00:29:18,003 --> 00:29:21,371 ♪ He's not he brightest, but he's not dumb as a rock ♪ 771 00:29:21,373 --> 00:29:24,707 - ♪ Rock ♪ - ♪ See what I did there? ♪ 772 00:29:28,834 --> 00:29:31,468 ♪ Oh, my God, he's turning over the rock ♪ 773 00:29:31,493 --> 00:29:34,160 ♪ Rock! ♪ 774 00:29:34,319 --> 00:29:35,883 Hmm. 775 00:29:41,523 --> 00:29:44,360 So this... 776 00:29:44,836 --> 00:29:46,734 goes... 777 00:29:47,512 --> 00:29:49,812 right here. 778 00:29:52,695 --> 00:29:54,628 This is your rock? 779 00:30:04,860 --> 00:30:06,260 Wha... ? 780 00:30:06,262 --> 00:30:07,628 Huh. 781 00:30:07,630 --> 00:30:09,229 That's so wei... 782 00:30:09,231 --> 00:30:11,031 It does 783 00:30:11,033 --> 00:30:12,700 look like my rock. 784 00:30:12,702 --> 00:30:14,034 That's weird. 785 00:30:14,813 --> 00:30:16,804 Someone threw a rock 786 00:30:16,806 --> 00:30:19,305 from inside the house... 787 00:30:20,466 --> 00:30:22,188 into your house? 788 00:30:24,407 --> 00:30:26,040 So, I think I know what happened. 789 00:30:26,042 --> 00:30:28,476 So, the burglar came into the house 790 00:30:28,478 --> 00:30:31,133 to steal something, but because I live a very simple life, 791 00:30:31,158 --> 00:30:32,406 he didn't find anything to steal. 792 00:30:32,454 --> 00:30:35,420 And in a fit of rage, the burglar was furthermore 793 00:30:35,445 --> 00:30:37,128 offended, you know, by the platitudinous 794 00:30:37,153 --> 00:30:38,352 inspirational phrases 795 00:30:38,354 --> 00:30:40,521 of my rocks because he's had a hard life... 796 00:30:40,523 --> 00:30:41,664 You know, in order to be a burglar, 797 00:30:41,689 --> 00:30:42,664 you would've had to had a hard life. 798 00:30:42,689 --> 00:30:45,049 So-so then in anger, he grabbed one of the rocks 799 00:30:45,074 --> 00:30:46,940 and went outside and just to stick it to me 800 00:30:47,091 --> 00:30:48,657 threw it through the window. 801 00:30:48,682 --> 00:30:50,727 What-what-what you're talking about doesn't make any sense. 802 00:30:50,752 --> 00:30:52,953 None of this makes sense. 803 00:30:52,978 --> 00:30:54,055 Okay, you're right. 804 00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:55,480 There's got to be another explanation, so let... 805 00:30:55,505 --> 00:30:56,871 Please, please don't explain. 806 00:30:56,896 --> 00:30:58,128 I don't want to know. 807 00:30:58,153 --> 00:30:59,653 I don't want to know what happened tonight. 808 00:30:59,678 --> 00:31:00,617 And I really don't want to know 809 00:31:00,642 --> 00:31:02,789 why you were in my apartment before. 810 00:31:03,563 --> 00:31:05,029 Uh, I got to go. 811 00:31:05,031 --> 00:31:06,030 What? No. 812 00:31:06,032 --> 00:31:07,632 Yeah, I got an early day tomorrow. 813 00:31:07,634 --> 00:31:09,834 Josh, I love y... 814 00:31:13,734 --> 00:31:17,008 I love that you came to my... rescue tonight. 815 00:31:17,010 --> 00:31:19,244 Thank you. 816 00:31:36,163 --> 00:31:38,125 Josh. Josh, I'm sorry... 817 00:31:38,848 --> 00:31:40,969 You ordered the extra large double dipper? 818 00:31:41,722 --> 00:31:43,255 The... uh, yeah. 819 00:31:44,969 --> 00:31:46,704 I've got two sets of sticks. 820 00:31:46,706 --> 00:31:48,439 It'll just take me a minute to set up. 821 00:31:48,441 --> 00:31:50,441 We threw in some strawberries and chocolate 822 00:31:50,443 --> 00:31:52,047 for that extra bit of romance. 823 00:31:53,102 --> 00:31:54,479 It's all ruined. 824 00:31:54,481 --> 00:31:56,114 People think that, but actually 825 00:31:56,116 --> 00:31:57,875 the cheese does not congeal in transit. 826 00:31:58,218 --> 00:31:59,617 If you can get the word out about that, 827 00:31:59,619 --> 00:32:00,752 that would really help. 828 00:32:00,949 --> 00:32:03,750 Moments ago, he held me in his arms. 829 00:32:04,891 --> 00:32:06,336 And then just now, he could 830 00:32:06,727 --> 00:32:08,627 barely look me in the eye. 831 00:32:11,500 --> 00:32:13,131 All of my dreams 832 00:32:13,133 --> 00:32:15,211 may have just been shattered. 833 00:32:16,250 --> 00:32:18,636 So this is not about cheese. 834 00:32:37,414 --> 00:32:40,425 Ladies and gentleman, please welcome to the stage 835 00:32:40,427 --> 00:32:43,359 to sing a song about self-indulgent self-loathing, 836 00:32:43,414 --> 00:32:45,848 Miss Rebecca Bunch! 837 00:32:45,873 --> 00:32:47,439 Thank you! 838 00:32:47,668 --> 00:32:49,718 Thank you, thank you. 839 00:32:50,704 --> 00:32:53,238 It's so wonderful to be back here, 840 00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:55,240 even though I'm here, 841 00:32:55,242 --> 00:32:58,234 singing this song, a lot. 842 00:33:07,821 --> 00:33:09,520 ♪ Well, Rebecca ♪ 843 00:33:09,522 --> 00:33:11,789 ♪ You've done it now... ♪ 844 00:33:11,791 --> 00:33:14,192 Yeah, you guys know this one. 845 00:33:14,194 --> 00:33:16,494 ♪ Karma's come to tap you ♪ 846 00:33:16,496 --> 00:33:19,397 ♪ On the shoulder ♪ 847 00:33:19,399 --> 00:33:23,134 ♪ All that lying that's been festering ♪ 848 00:33:23,470 --> 00:33:26,271 ♪ Plus breaking and entering ♪ 849 00:33:26,273 --> 00:33:28,773 ♪ Is coming now to crush you ♪ 850 00:33:28,775 --> 00:33:31,743 ♪ Like a boulder ♪ 851 00:33:31,745 --> 00:33:35,480 ♪ You ruined everything ♪ 852 00:33:35,482 --> 00:33:38,449 ♪ You stupid bitch ♪ 853 00:33:38,451 --> 00:33:42,220 ♪ You ruined everything ♪ 854 00:33:42,222 --> 00:33:45,123 ♪ You stupid, stupid bitch ♪ 855 00:33:45,125 --> 00:33:48,993 ♪ You're just a lying little bitch who ruins things ♪ 856 00:33:48,995 --> 00:33:52,463 ♪ And wants the world to burn ♪ 857 00:33:52,465 --> 00:33:54,365 ♪ Bitch ♪ 858 00:33:54,367 --> 00:33:57,148 ♪ You're a stupid bitch ♪ 859 00:33:58,069 --> 00:34:00,738 ♪ And lose some weight... ♪ 860 00:34:05,812 --> 00:34:10,815 ♪ I was so close to paradise ♪ 861 00:34:10,817 --> 00:34:15,853 ♪ But now the only thing I'm close to is defeat ♪ 862 00:34:18,124 --> 00:34:21,025 ♪ These shards are a metaphor for my soul ♪ 863 00:34:21,027 --> 00:34:24,395 ♪ Won't stop the self-pity 'cause I'm on a roll ♪ 864 00:34:24,397 --> 00:34:27,465 ♪ Yes, Josh completes me but how can that be ♪ 865 00:34:27,467 --> 00:34:33,671 ♪ When there's no me left to complete? ♪ 866 00:34:33,673 --> 00:34:36,607 ♪ You ruined everything ♪ 867 00:34:36,609 --> 00:34:38,509 ♪ You stupid bitch ♪ 868 00:34:38,511 --> 00:34:39,577 Sing with me! 869 00:34:39,579 --> 00:34:43,781 ♪ You ruined everything ♪ 870 00:34:43,783 --> 00:34:46,351 ♪ You stupid, stupid bitch... ♪ 871 00:34:46,353 --> 00:34:47,919 Yes, I deserve this! 872 00:34:47,921 --> 00:34:51,823 ♪ You're just a poopy little slut who doesn't think ♪ 873 00:34:51,825 --> 00:34:54,993 ♪ And deceives the people she loves ♪ 874 00:34:54,995 --> 00:34:57,929 ♪ Now he knows I'm not some innocent lamb ♪ 875 00:34:57,931 --> 00:35:00,398 ♪ He sees me for what I am ♪ 876 00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:04,836 ♪ Which is a horrible, stupid, dumb and ugly ♪ 877 00:35:04,838 --> 00:35:09,440 ♪ Fat and stupid, simple, self-hating ♪ 878 00:35:09,442 --> 00:35:16,714 ♪ Bitch! ♪ 879 00:35:28,061 --> 00:35:29,127 Whoa. 880 00:35:29,129 --> 00:35:31,129 What happened? 881 00:35:35,777 --> 00:35:37,377 Rebecca, what's wrong? Are you okay? 882 00:35:37,402 --> 00:35:38,868 No, I'm not. 883 00:35:38,893 --> 00:35:40,459 Do you want to tell me what happened? 884 00:35:41,410 --> 00:35:42,520 No. 885 00:35:43,276 --> 00:35:44,442 Let me help you. 886 00:35:44,444 --> 00:35:45,510 What can I do? 887 00:35:45,512 --> 00:35:48,813 Come on, let's get this mess cleaned up and you can tell me what happened. I'll just... 888 00:35:48,815 --> 00:35:51,649 Just leave it, I'll get it later. 889 00:35:52,519 --> 00:35:53,918 Can you just stay with me 890 00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:54,952 for a little while? 891 00:35:55,231 --> 00:35:57,855 I... I can't be alone right now. 892 00:35:58,762 --> 00:36:00,091 Okay. 893 00:36:01,428 --> 00:36:02,747 Thank you. 894 00:36:03,530 --> 00:36:04,762 We don't have to stand here. 895 00:36:04,764 --> 00:36:06,564 We can, like, watch TV, you know... 896 00:36:06,566 --> 00:36:08,253 TV, yeah, sure. Whatever you want. 897 00:36:08,278 --> 00:36:11,279 Let's just, get this mess cleaned up first. 898 00:36:11,304 --> 00:36:12,703 Okay. 899 00:36:14,453 --> 00:36:15,489 Thank you. 900 00:36:16,609 --> 00:36:17,742 Are you hungry? 901 00:36:17,744 --> 00:36:18,987 Have you eaten? 902 00:36:19,012 --> 00:36:22,814 I have some... fondue that's clumping together. 903 00:36:22,816 --> 00:36:24,817 Actually, I am pretty hungry. 904 00:36:25,251 --> 00:36:27,752 Coagulating cheese would really hit the spot. 905 00:36:31,491 --> 00:36:33,028 Thank you, Greg. 906 00:36:34,188 --> 00:36:36,856 Somehow, you're always here when I need you. 907 00:36:49,109 --> 00:36:50,308 I... 908 00:36:54,118 --> 00:36:55,153 Huh. 909 00:36:55,949 --> 00:36:57,715 That has Josh's name on it. 910 00:36:58,825 --> 00:37:00,084 That makes sense. 911 00:37:00,086 --> 00:37:02,253 He was barely here. I mean, he didn't even eat his food. 912 00:37:02,255 --> 00:37:03,554 And there are two wine glasses, 913 00:37:03,556 --> 00:37:04,589 one with ice cubes. 914 00:37:04,591 --> 00:37:05,656 Classic Chan move. 915 00:37:05,658 --> 00:37:07,158 So you were having another cozy date 916 00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:08,392 with Valencia's boyfriend and... 917 00:37:08,394 --> 00:37:09,694 Oh, my God, that's not what happened. 918 00:37:09,696 --> 00:37:11,062 ... you guys had some kind of scene, 919 00:37:11,064 --> 00:37:12,330 somehow a window broke 920 00:37:12,332 --> 00:37:13,698 and look who's cleaning it up? 921 00:37:13,700 --> 00:37:16,601 I'm literally holding a dustpan and a broom in my hand, 922 00:37:16,603 --> 00:37:17,935 cleaning up your mess. 923 00:37:17,937 --> 00:37:18,903 Why are you mad at me? 924 00:37:18,905 --> 00:37:21,239 I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at myself. 925 00:37:24,270 --> 00:37:26,403 There are other ways to get out of this building 926 00:37:27,213 --> 00:37:29,380 but I walked by your patio. 927 00:37:30,824 --> 00:37:33,021 And my girlfriend is 20 feet through that wall, 928 00:37:33,305 --> 00:37:34,825 and I'm standing here. 929 00:37:37,116 --> 00:37:38,278 I gotta go. 930 00:37:39,626 --> 00:37:40,872 Please, Greg... 931 00:37:42,106 --> 00:37:44,428 I just want someone to be here with me. 932 00:37:44,430 --> 00:37:45,463 Right. 933 00:37:45,465 --> 00:37:46,664 “Someone.” 934 00:37:46,807 --> 00:37:48,349 That's the problem. 935 00:37:49,082 --> 00:37:50,692 Feel better, Bunch. 936 00:37:57,059 --> 00:37:58,543 So she's not into Greg? 937 00:37:58,545 --> 00:38:01,712 No, not at all, but he is really into her, 938 00:38:01,714 --> 00:38:03,080 so they keep getting drawn together. 939 00:38:03,082 --> 00:38:04,315 But from what you've said, 940 00:38:04,317 --> 00:38:05,516 they might make a good couple. 941 00:38:05,518 --> 00:38:07,118 Maybe she should give him a chance. 942 00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:10,021 No! Honey, keep your eyes on the prize, okay? 943 00:38:10,023 --> 00:38:12,023 Rebecca and Josh have an epic and pure love 944 00:38:12,025 --> 00:38:13,724 that spans decades and mountains. 945 00:38:13,726 --> 00:38:15,693 Good point, she did admit she loved Josh 946 00:38:15,695 --> 00:38:16,861 after the bus trip. 947 00:38:16,863 --> 00:38:18,095 Yes! 948 00:38:18,097 --> 00:38:19,363 Very good! 949 00:38:19,365 --> 00:38:21,766 Oh, did I tell you about how I got her invited 950 00:38:21,768 --> 00:38:23,734 to Josh's parents' house for Thanksgiving? 951 00:38:23,736 --> 00:38:25,036 Was that when she got the kiss on the cheek? 952 00:38:25,124 --> 00:38:26,456 Oh... 953 00:38:26,481 --> 00:38:28,521 No, no, no, no, that was when they went to the camp. 954 00:38:33,980 --> 00:38:36,247 God, it's so sexy when you listen. 955 00:38:46,492 --> 00:38:48,192 Thought I might find you here, 956 00:38:48,450 --> 00:38:51,223 having your morning mocha loco. 957 00:38:51,389 --> 00:38:54,008 So... what happened? 958 00:38:54,033 --> 00:38:55,199 You never called me back. 959 00:38:55,201 --> 00:38:56,467 I called you, like, 50 times. 960 00:38:56,469 --> 00:38:58,402 I mean, did Josh just leave 961 00:38:58,404 --> 00:39:00,044 or is he on his way? 962 00:39:02,098 --> 00:39:03,574 Honey, what happened? 963 00:39:03,576 --> 00:39:05,153 I, um... 964 00:39:05,549 --> 00:39:07,333 I ruined everything, Paula. 965 00:39:07,981 --> 00:39:10,872 Like... it was a disaster. 966 00:39:12,085 --> 00:39:14,785 You can't even imagine how bad it was. 967 00:39:14,787 --> 00:39:16,354 Well, how? I mean, we got the rock 968 00:39:16,356 --> 00:39:17,555 through the window before you got home. 969 00:39:17,557 --> 00:39:18,889 I don't want to talk about it. 970 00:39:18,891 --> 00:39:19,890 That's how bad it is. 971 00:39:19,892 --> 00:39:21,092 I-I... 972 00:39:21,094 --> 00:39:22,727 I just don't even want to talk about it. 973 00:39:22,729 --> 00:39:24,317 Just... okay. 974 00:39:26,432 --> 00:39:28,520 I ruined everything. 975 00:39:29,769 --> 00:39:31,708 Because that's what I do. 976 00:39:32,171 --> 00:39:34,171 I ruin things. Okay. 977 00:39:34,173 --> 00:39:35,139 So that's what happened. 978 00:39:35,141 --> 00:39:36,274 Okay. Okay. 979 00:39:36,276 --> 00:39:38,409 Hey... I don't know what happened, 980 00:39:38,411 --> 00:39:40,878 and we do not have to talk about it. Now. 981 00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:44,148 I mean, clearly I'm going to need all the deets later. 982 00:39:44,150 --> 00:39:45,283 - Paula... - But you are... hey. 983 00:39:45,285 --> 00:39:46,884 You are not a ruin-er. 984 00:39:47,169 --> 00:39:48,686 Okay, do you hear me? 985 00:39:48,688 --> 00:39:50,621 You are the opposite. You're a-a put-together-er. 986 00:39:50,623 --> 00:39:52,657 Paula, you don't know what you're talking about, 987 00:39:52,659 --> 00:39:54,091 and it doesn't even make sense. 988 00:39:54,093 --> 00:39:56,590 Oh, okay, you want to know what you put together-ered? 989 00:39:56,911 --> 00:39:58,527 My marriage. 990 00:39:58,564 --> 00:40:00,464 - What? - Yes! 991 00:40:00,466 --> 00:40:03,501 I mean, who knew a little vandalism would be, like, 992 00:40:03,503 --> 00:40:07,104 the most amazing foreplay we had ever had?! 993 00:40:07,223 --> 00:40:09,540 I mean, look at this text from Scott. 994 00:40:09,542 --> 00:40:11,208 I mean, look at all these emojis. 995 00:40:11,210 --> 00:40:13,210 He sent me, like, a unicorn and a panda. 996 00:40:13,212 --> 00:40:15,546 - Hmm. - And, like, 11 different kinds of hearts. 997 00:40:15,548 --> 00:40:17,381 Oh. 998 00:40:17,383 --> 00:40:19,383 Oh, no, no, don't scroll there. Oh. Whoa. 999 00:40:19,385 --> 00:40:20,584 Yeah. Okay. Wow. 1000 00:40:20,586 --> 00:40:22,320 Sorry. I'm sorry you had to see that. 1001 00:40:22,322 --> 00:40:26,157 No. You... you go. 1002 00:40:26,159 --> 00:40:28,169 Okay, but listen to me. 1003 00:40:28,895 --> 00:40:30,761 You and Josh... You're on a journey. 1004 00:40:30,763 --> 00:40:32,530 Okay? So there's gonna be peaks, 1005 00:40:32,532 --> 00:40:34,332 but there's also gonna be valleys. 1006 00:40:34,334 --> 00:40:38,169 And yes, maybe even a long, dry, flat plateau 1007 00:40:38,171 --> 00:40:39,937 called “my-kids-are-little, don't-touch-me”" 1008 00:40:39,939 --> 00:40:44,375 But the valleys are gonna make those peaks even sweeter. 1009 00:40:45,009 --> 00:40:47,981 So... take a deep breath. 1010 00:40:52,059 --> 00:40:54,356 Look how beautiful it is today. 1011 00:40:54,787 --> 00:40:59,290 And know that everything is gonna be okay. 1012 00:40:59,723 --> 00:41:03,559 And if it's not, we will make it okay. 1013 00:41:04,532 --> 00:41:06,192 I promise you. 1014 00:41:08,848 --> 00:41:10,134 Are you sure? 1015 00:41:11,325 --> 00:41:12,513 We will find a way. 1016 00:41:13,106 --> 00:41:14,505 Come here. 1017 00:41:14,507 --> 00:41:16,676 I swear. 1018 00:41:18,975 --> 00:41:21,442 I think I have a UTI. 1019 00:41:24,153 --> 00:41:27,418 Harry, did you okay a police escort to get a woman 1020 00:41:27,420 --> 00:41:28,953 to her ex-boyfriend's house faster? 1021 00:41:28,955 --> 00:41:30,821 Yes, sir, but you have to understand... 1022 00:41:30,823 --> 00:41:33,190 Judge Spenser, that's an unnecessary expenditure, 1023 00:41:33,192 --> 00:41:35,590 not to mention you put our citizens at risk. 1024 00:41:35,615 --> 00:41:37,361 But sir, it was urgent. 1025 00:41:37,363 --> 00:41:39,006 It was a text-mergency. 1026 00:41:39,629 --> 00:41:41,232 You mean a text-tastrophe? 1027 00:41:41,234 --> 00:41:42,739 Is that what caught on? 1028 00:41:44,192 --> 00:41:45,236 It figures. 1029 00:41:45,888 --> 00:41:47,020 Damn it! 1030 00:41:47,022 --> 00:41:49,036 Judge Spenser, why are you getting so upset? 1031 00:41:50,983 --> 00:41:52,544 What's this really about? 1032 00:41:53,228 --> 00:41:56,754 I left my wife for a prostitute. 1033 00:41:57,770 --> 00:42:00,379 -- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -- -- www.addic7ed.com --