Summer.
Honey.
You may approach the bench.
We're nearly there.
Do you want the hummus sandwich i made you?
I told you I'm not hungry.
It's vegan.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we expect to land in about 15 minutes.
Thank you for flying with alitalia,
and we hope to see you again in the near future
onboard our flights. Arrivederci.
Summer, look.
Wait. They have geological formations in Europe, too?
Look, honey, there's nothing
you can do for him right now, ok?
So in the meantime, you have 2 weeks
to just simply relax.
And I'm telling you,
you're gonna love this country,
the people, the food, the gelato.
I should be by Tyler's side fighting for his rights,
and you're trying to buy me off with ice cream?
This is about injustice.
There's injustice here, too, trust me.
Oh, I'm pleased.
No, seriously, this country is, like, famously corrupt.
They have fascism, social inequality.
People are eating out of garbage cans.
I thought you said the food was good.
It is. It--it's so good
that people are eating it out of the garbage cans.
All I know is that when I was your age,
I loved being here.
When you were my age, you were a virgin
with a Prozac dependency.
That's not true.
Yeah, I've seen the photos of the zits and the braces.
That was junior high school.
And actually, when I was here,
I had a boyfriend, and he was very handsome.
I got it. I got it. Thank you.
Check the tag. The tag. Check the tag.
That's mine.
Oh. Hey.
Oh, is this yours?
Yes. I'm sorry.
Looks--take it.
Ok. Looks like my old bag.
Excuse me. It looks like my old one.
Sorry.
Come on, little duck.
Signorina, scusi. Per favore.
Oh, you've gotta be kidding me.
Can I have your passport, please?
Sure.
Purpose of visit? I'm being kidnapped...
We're on vacation. By my own mother.
She's making a joke.
Wait a second, please.
Jesus, summer.
Mm?
Take your glasses off.
Yeah?
Do you have any criminal record?
N-no, and she's not about to get one right now, either.
You just lied to an agent of the law.
It's a juvenile record.
It's in the process of being expunged,
and it's really just an administrative thing now.
You told an untruth.
Well, technically i did not.
Ah. See?
Ah, it's so relaxing in Italy.
People are so laid-back.
Ah, buongiorno.
Buongiorno. Ciao.
Hello. I have a--
una--una reservazione.
Just have to...
Find the number.
But I know it's under the name Mrs. falk.
Marg--well, Maggie.
Yes. Maggie.
I will need the reservation number.
Yes, but I also have the, um--
that's the credit card that I booked on.
I'm sorry. No number, no booking.
Come on. What's a little--
what's a little number between amici, huh?
I'm sure you can scrounge up
a little convertible, you know, um...
Una fiat Bella.
Tutto e bellissima.
I'm sorry.
That is the least bellissima car ever.
That is antique bellissima.
It's eighties.
You love the eighties.
The eighties revival is totally over.
Well, can't you like it ironically
or whatever it is you kids do?
The irony revival is totally over, too.
You have to like things sincerely now.
Mm.
I like it sincerely.
On the road, just the two of us,
sisters doing it for ourselves.
Ah, seriously.
"Thelma and Louise."
Thelma and Louise drove off a cliff and killed themselves.
Oh! God!
Sorry.
Yep, super relaxed here.
Unlike dad's new pile in the Hamptons,
where I should totally be instead.
Last time you stayed with him,
he took you out drinking.
I try to see him taking me as an act of trust.
Oh, god. Please don't tell me
what his less trustworthy acts are.
Exactly. I won't. I'm not telling you anything about anything,
which is why you don't know anything about my life
and you keep trying to protect me
from things I don't need to be protected from.
Is your seat belt on?
Yes.
Tranquility.
Yep, pure tranquility
with Tyler unjustly rotting in the penal system.
Ah, brother.
It's a harmless medicinal herb.
5 kilos of a harmless medicinal herb.
Marijuana laws are a tool for the state
to oppress the underclass.
Underclass? His mother owns a gallery
on the upper east side.
You're so racist!
He's white!
No, he's not. He's 1/8 native American.
There was a genocide.
Summer, honey, baby,
I just don't want you dragged into this.
He wants you to pretend that they were your drugs.
He never asked me to do that.
Well, that's not the impression you gave.
The impression you gave is that he wants you
to go back on your deposition, to perjure yourself,
and to say that it was you all along.
No! I was speaking hypothetically.
If I took the rap, it'd just be a juvenile sentence,
which doesn't count, technically speaking.
Do you have any idea how hard it was
to get your record for theft overturned?
It wasn't theft. It was liberation.
Those rabbits needed to be free.
Summer, summer, this is drug dealing. It would be perjury,
and it would look awful on your college application.
I hate you!
I know you do. I know you do.
Summer. Whoa, summer!
Get off!
Don't--that's not safe. Ow!
That's really dangerous! Ow! My foot's stuck!
I don't care.
You're so controlling!
No wonder dad left you...
For his 23-year-old legal secretary called Amber.
I'm sorry. What, honey? Whatever.
Just give me my bag. I need my phone.
Give me my bag!
Fine. I'll get it myself.
Where's my stupid phone?
Aah!
Oh, honey, look.
It's--wow.
It's gotta be here somewhere.
I'm sorry. Sorry, sorry.
Where the hell's my phone?
Oh, sorry, Ms. lady, but we're almost there.
Sorry.
Wow. It's exactly the same.
20 years in the blink of an eye.
Ohh.
It's really something, isn't it?
Oh.
Where is it?
Where's what? Oh, you know what?
I have to remember to write to uncle George
and thank him-- my cell phone,
which I strongly suspect you stole.
Well, that would be very uncharacteristic of me.
I am someone people steal from.
Give it to me!
I don't have it.
Gosh.
Oh, calm dow--
calm down. Please!
I don't have it.
Give it to me! I don't...
Buongiorno.
You rented the cottage from George?
I live opposite, so...
Luca?
Maggie?
I thought--
I thought you moved to France.
I moved back.
I bought the old farm, the villa.
The big villa?
This cannot be happening.
She must be your sister?
She wishes.
This is-- this is summer.
She's my daughter.
Your daughter.
I can't believe this.
I know. Me neither. It's--
may I invite you for a drink in-- in my garden?
Oh, that's-- that's very nice,
but we just got here,
and we haven't even unpacked, and--
I understand.
But if you change your mind,
you are very welcome.
Bye.
Ma.
Ma!
Yep?
Is he why we're here?
No.
No, no, god, no. I--
I had no idea. I thought he moved away.
You knew he was back.
I haven't thought of him in 20 years.
Yeah, right.
Sheez.
Yo.
Oh, my god. Tyler, you're out.
You made bail?
Didn't you, uh, get my text?
My--my mom's such a bitch.
I think she stole my phone. How crazy is that?
Babe, you have got to get back here.
If you don't get back and take the rap for this,
I am going down,
like down to a place
even lower down than, like, Chinatown low.
I know, but it's complicated.
Complicated is how I'm gonna feel...
Tyler. If I go down for this.
I'll try and get home, ok? I--
I love you, Tyler.
Stop it.
You do?
I'll find a way.
I promise.
Ok.
Maybe we should go say hello, you know?
Might seem rude not to.
You settling in?
Mm-hmm.
It's nice, isn't it?
Yeah.
Oh, see? This must be his pottery.
It's pretty colors.
Wow.
Hey. Hey.
You came after all.
Come. Let me offer you something.
Oh, no. I mean, you don't need to go to any trouble.
Ah, come on. I insist.
You are my guests. Come on.
Wow.
The villa. The villa, yes.
The villa.
So...
You married-- what was it? Jock?
Jack. Jack. Oh, Jack.
I'm happy everything worked out.
I mean, actually, we were--
we were divorced last year,
so i-it didn't...
I'm sorry to hear that.
No, no, no. It's ok.
Just-- please, sit down.
I'll bring some food
and something to drink.
Wine, that's ok?
Sure. Sure.
Amarone?
Oh.
Grazie. Prego.
"Actually, we were divorced last year."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, baby."
What?
No.
Honey, no. No.
He's--
he's being polite.
By sexing you?
Ah.
I'm fairly certain he isn't,
and, um, sexing people
is a form of politeness here.
Ciao.
Ah.
This is my darling Valentina.
Maggie and summer.
I will wake mamma as well
so she can meet you. You remember Carmen?
Non è possibile.
Grazie, Antonio.
It gets worse and worse.
And now she tries to run away.
Lucky she does not drive,
otherwise, i would have to lock
the garage as well.
Buongiorno, Carmen.
Her memory is not so good.
Excuse me one second.
Sei l'americana.
Sì.
Sì, l'americana.
Ciao.
Well, it's wonderful to see how your art has developed.
Oh, no, these pieces are just rustic for tourists.
In the village, i have a small shop.
In firenze, i have a gallery.
"Fine art ceramics."
For collectors with more money than sense.
Would you like to see my studio?
Oh, we should probably head back, right?
No, no. You go ahead.
I'll watch mamma for you.
All right, I'll just take a very fast look around, ok?
Where's the garage?
Whatever, dude. I'll find it myself.
Whoa. My studio.
Incredible.
Do you like it?
Yeah, it's--
it's fantastic.
Ah, yes, the trophy wall.
I draw inspiration from all kinds of people.
But largely female and attractive.
You are really living the dream.
Sure, I do.
And the journalism?
Journalism? Mm.
I teach journalism... Mm.
At city college.
You know, just between now and, um,
my next pulitzer.
Of course.
So you have the career,
a wonderful daughter--
I have a wonderful daughter
with radical anarchist leanings.
And I, um--
I have an ex-husband
who has lawyered himself out of his alimony,
and, uh, whatever meager free time I have
I spend perfecting my online sudoku game.
Oh.
Awesome.
You help me, i help you.
Whatever, grandma.
Let's get out of here.
Those are pretty colors.
Ah.
This is great.
Maggie. Sweet.
I just wanted to say that,
after all these years,
I'm very happy to see you again.
Oh!
Oh, my god. It's ok. It's ok.
It's ok. Maggie. Oh, god. I'm so, so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
My god.
Summer!
She took my mamma.
I don't under-- where are they going?
I don't know. Call her.
I can't call her. She doesn't have a phone.
A teenage girl with no phone?
I--i sort of confiscated it.
You stole her phone?
Let me drive.
No, no. I'm ok to drive.
Are you sure? Yes.
I hope mamma can take all this.
You know her heart is not very strong.
I'm sorry. It's my fault.
What's wrong with your daughter, anyway?
Like I said, it's complicated.
Her boyfriend is in trouble for drugs,
and he wants her to take the blame.
He wants to use her.
She's easily led.
Grazie.
They've left the village,
took off to the west.
All right, so she's heading back to the airport,
so we'll just meet her there, right? Can you hand me my bag?
Can you just get the passports?
Here? They're in my purse, yeah.
Just get the passports.
There is only one passport.
What? Yeah. I think it's yours.
Well, you just-- ok, but--
no. No.
My credit card's missing.
Ok, let me drive.
Her passport's gone, and my credit card's missing.
No, I can drive! Ok, let me drive.
You control the passports and...
I'll drop you at the next place.
Devo andare a roma.
I'm not going to Rome, dearie.
Trust me, I'm going straight to NYC.
Aeroporto.
Roma. Aeroporto.
Roma.
Aeroporto, comrade.
Roma!
You psycho! You broke my face!
This is my face you broke!
Seat belt.
Hold on. That's airport, right,
"aeroporto"? To the right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No?
But my mother, god bless,
she wants to go to Rome.
Well, my daughter, god bless her, occupied wall street.
I tell you, they're going to the airport.
You know, your daughter will give in to my mamma,
and they will go to Rome. Please.
Wow. Now you know my daughter better than I know my daughter.
Insofar as it is truly possible--
I just meant that as a rhetorical question.
Rhetorical question, it is Italian, so...
Listen to me. I am 100% positive
they are going to the airport.
You wanna go to the airport or to Rome?
You must feel pretty freaking good about yourself.
Yes.
I think we should call the police.
No.
Why not?
Look, she's a good kid.
I just don't want her to get in trouble again.
She had run-ins with the police before?
No, no, no.
Well, yes, but...
I mean, it wasn't anything, you know--
it wasn't serious.
She just liberated some rabbits,
you know, for ethical reasons.
Oh.
From an experimental laboratory?
Well, from a pet store,
but the conditions were dep--
look, they'll stop soon, right?
I mean, they'll get hungry, and you guys have siesta, right?
So they'll just...
This plan sucks.
Wow.
Look. There's a snack bar up ahead.
I reckon we've got some distance,
and I could really use a coffee.
First time in Italy?
Yep. Uh-huh.
You like it?
It's everything i dreamed of.
You staying for long time?
No, as a matter of fact.
I'd like to get out of here as quickly as possible.
Do you think you can check
when the next flight to New York leaves?
On your computer.
Please. It's important.
Ah, we've lost them.
No, no, no. Trust me. Take that small road.
What, that one?
Yeah, that one. Why?
Because it's quicker. Turn. Turn.
I am.
Yeah, we will have the advantage.
Ok.
Voilà.
Or whatever.
Arrivederci, grandma!
What the...
Roma.
Fine.
Rome first, and then I'll fly from there.
Deal?
How far is it to Rome, anyway?
300 chilometri.
300 kilometers? It'll be the middle of the night
before we get there if we don't take the autostrada.
No autostrada. No hurry.
3:00 tomorrow.
You're supposed to be there at 3:00 tomorrow?
Why is it so important?
What is it you have to do?
I hope you realize what a sacrifice I'm making here.
I have someone waiting for me in New York, you know.
He needs help, or he's gonna go to jail,
and I'm the only one who can save him.
I guess you wouldn't understand that.
Why?
Because I love him.
And he loves me, too.
But he says that if i don't help him now,
we'll have no future together.
You know, he's desperate.
He's been waiting for days already.
Ho aspettato 50 anni.
Hey, that's...
I needed.
You're sure they're gonna come by here, right?
Yes. 100%.
What's that,
that picture?
Nothing.
Hey, you.
I tell you about me and Tyler,
and you say, "nothing."
How's that fair?
Who's that?
"Candy & Marcel."
Candy, Carmen.
Is this you?
E marcellino.
What were you, part of some pop group or something?
Sì.
We were very young,
and marcello gaspari--
...arrive in my town,
and we sing together.
We made a tour in napoli, roma, firenze,
and I felt in love with him,
but I had to go home.
I was supposed to get married.
Avevo promesso.
To Luca's father?
Yes.
So what happened?
What?
I mean, why did you marry an asshole like Jack?
I guess I didn't think he was that big of an asshole.
What about you? Hmm?
What?
Tell me you were serious about one woman,
one woman... Ohh.
In your entire life.
Heh.
Yeah, I'd like to hear this.
I take all women seriously.
This is my most serious subject.
Really.
But, see, there was one woman.
Yeah, what? It didn't work out?
She had, um-- come se dice?
A fistfight with my mother.
Heh. She had a fistfight with your mother?
Yes. Wow. Who won?
My mother.
Your mother.
Anyway, her nose was too fat.
What? W-wow.
What? Really?
Yes.
Really? Here I am.
I'm trying to have, like, a Sincere conversation,
but it's with this guy, this so--
he's this superficial guy...
Oh, my god. Very superficial guy.
That's it. That's why, no?
Because I was too superficial?
No.
Actually, they were two of the nicest months of my life.
Last year, my husband died.
I cry a lot.
But one day, i receive letter.
From marcellino?
1, 2, 3 letters.
Segreto.
Segreto? Secret?
Big, big secret.
Oh, my god.
You're getting married?
Tomorrow, 3:00.
Santa caterina dei funari.
So we're the same, you and marcellino, me and Tyler.
It's not comparable.
Tyler is trouble.
He's asshole.
No.
He's just kinda...
Asshole.
Heh. Use you.
No honor.
Eh! La strada è libero.
Anyway, it would never have worked.
I'm an artist, and I need a woman who is not so uptight.
I'm not uptight? No?
No, just unlike some people,
I have responsibilities.
That's what people say when they have
a pathological need to be in control.
Then how come I always feel out of control?
You controlling types always feel like that.
That's why you don't--
you don't let me drive.
That's not why.
No? Mm-mmm.
So give me the kiss.
What? Give me the kiss.
I'm not gonna give you the kiss. Come on.
Come here. Oh! Luca, oh, my god.
Don't flatter yourself. The keys.
Oh.
Non mi sorprende.
No! Now what?!
Let's go.
Let's go! Yeah. Let's go.
Now we better call the police.
Oh, no. There must be another option. Please.
Another option. Oh, another option.
I've got a friend who is a TV presenter.
Maybe if they mention it on TV,
someone is bound to notice an old alfa, no?
Is there-- is there a "but"?
No, no. No.
Ok. Well, then let's go.
Giulia?
Luca, tesoro!
Sono qui in piscina.
Grazie.
This is Maggie.
She's a journalist, too.
Um...
Giulia carni. Please sit down.
So you have a picture?
Oh, yes. Yes.
Just, um, here.
Um...
Here's--that's my daughter summer.
Ah, Bella Carmen.
You carry a picture of your mother?
Yeah. It's sweet, no?
Ah.
Paola.
Sì? Arrivo.
Send the picture to the station
so they are prepared
when I get there. Va bene.
I'm sure giulia will do her very best.
Oh, I'm sure she will. Yeah.
She seems very, um...
Dedicated,
no matter what she does.
What?
Are you jealous?
I'm not jealous, just--
ah, actually I guess I'm not surprised.
A lady in every town.
Oh, come on.
Ok, what can I say?
When love calls, a man must act.
Are you kidding me?
No.
A man takes what he wants when he wants.
"A man--"
"a man takes
what he wants when he wants it"?
Wow.
I'm joking. Come on.
What happened to your sense of humor?
I like it when you're jealous.
Oh, my god.
Where are we, the spaghetti western frontier?
Wow. Check it out.
I got a mighty thirst, partner.
How's the sarsaparilla?
Ooh. This town ain't big enough for the both of us.
Cosa hai detto?
You seriously don't speak any English?
That's so cross-culturally awesome.
Due panini, per favore.
Due.
...americana, summer falk...
"Nonna-napper"? What does it mean?
Sbrigati.
Hey! Hurry!
Va bene. Va bene. Grazie.
There have already been several reports
from people who thinks they've seen the car in this area.
Oh, thank god.
Ok, so what do we do now?
We wait.
Shouldn't we go after them?
I mean, why don't we go meet them at the airport in Rome?
No, no, no. If they go to the airport, they will be caught.
They will not allow a minor on a flight
without permission from a parent or guardian.
Relax. It will soon be dark,
and, uh--and we need to rest.
So will they.
Sono stanca.
We stop for night.
We can't, Carmen. I'm all over the TV,
wanted by police as a nonna-napper,
which is a joke.
We stop to sleep.
Don't you get it?
They'll recognize us at any hotel.
No hotel.
Just sleep.
I was expecting a motel.
This is how we do.
"This is how we do"?
Yeah.
Well...
This is idiomatic expression.
Yeah. No, i-- i know what it is.
I'm just...
Feel sort of underdressed.
A little.
Excuse us.
Buonasera. Buonasera.
You want to try?
What? No. Come here.
How do you mean no?
I'm very good with that, eh,
with the waltz?
Are you good?
Good enough.
Separate rooms, please.
I'm sorry, madam,
but we do have only one room left tonight.
Are you kidding me?
Oh.
Oh, oh, oh, my.
Oh.
It's ok.
I'll sleep on the floor.
Oh! Valentina.
Oh.
She must be worried by now.
Of course.
Valentina, tesoro.
Sì, scusa, amore...
Good night, Carmen.
Buona note.
Oh! What?
You said you were sleeping on the floor.
Oh, my god. Yes.
You said you were sleeping on the floor.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it was too uncomfortable.
Maggie, I have to tell you something very important.
Yeah?
Your body still look banging.
Really.
Ow.
What--what did-- oh! Oh, my god!
Oh! Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
Oh, my god. I'm so sorry.
Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Did i--
did I do that?
Yes, you did it. You did it.
Let me see. Are you ok?
I hope it hurts.
Hope it hurts.
Ow! My god,
you're terrible.
Wow.
A red alfa has been spotted near a lake not far from here.
They have probably camped overnight.
What?
Your eye,
it's a little red.
Does it still hurt?
Oh.
Here.
Here you are.
Ay, yeah.
Ah.
It's better, right?
You're a bad person.
Good body, but bad person.
E' così chiaro.
Oh, god.
Jesus Christ.
Oh, lord have mercy. Please stop.
Stop, I beg you. I beg you, stop.
Oh! Do you see that?
Right there.
Where are they?
I don't know. Summer!
Mamma!
Summer!
They've gotta be here somewhere.
Summer!
Now, the car.
I have forbici.
Forbi-what?
Forbici.
Go.
Oh! Summer!
Mamma! No!
No! Wait! No!
Summer, please!
Ferma!
Summer. Let's go.
Oh, my god. Our tires.
What? Are you kidding me?
How much further is it?
Not far.
Solo un'ora.
An hour?
You'll have plenty of time.
Are you nervous?
Mm.
Not as nervous as you would have been
if you'd been forced to keep living with your overprotective son.
I know how that feels.
You don't know.
Sei solo una bambina capricciosa.
You think you know, but you know nothing yet.
Hey, just because i haven't lived as long as you
doesn't mean that my emotional life is any less advanced.
For your information,
I happen to love Tyler
just as much as you love your old man.
Ok.
Maggie,
we should call the police,
no matter what you think.
Ok?
My god.
I'm such a terrible mother.
I tried. I tried. I really tried.
I don't know. Where did I go wrong?
First you stole her phone, and then--
yes, I know that.
I'm talking about in general.
How did it all come to this?
I think he is right.
You should call the police.
Hey, I saw it on television.
Everybody did.
Your daughter is a celebrity now,
the most wanted,
top criminale.
What the...
Out of gas.
Can we walk to a gas station?
What you think?
Here, there's nothing, nothing.
What about that?
I'm going over.
What if they recognize me?
You careful, no one will see you.
You take benzina from the tractor.
Yeah, but how?
E' tanto difficile?
You go to the tractor, open tank,
and steal benzina.
Great.
Come on!
Hurry up!
Come on!
Eh!
Nonna-napper? Nonna-napper is kidnapper?
No. No, no, no.
It's just about telling a story.
What did you tell them?
Nothing.
Well, she's describing summer as if--
as if she's, like, this dangerous criminal,
and your mother is, like,
"oh, she's this helpless woman
who was tragically stolen against her will."
At this rate, summer will rot in an Italian jail for years.
Heh. If we don't find them in time,
she will rot in an American jail.
Same deal, worse food.
Oh, ha ha.
Yeah, make a joke. It's hilarious.
You don't seem to get it!
Your mother is as much a part of this as summer!
She has manipulated this whole thing.
Oh, my mother?
Yes, your mother... My mother.
Is one serious bitch,
and she always has been.
Don't say that--
it's true.
It's true.
Valentina.
Sì, pronto.
...marcellino gaspari.
You're not gonna believe this.
My mother thinks she's getting married today at 3:00.
What? To who?
There was a man who filled her head
with a lot of nonsense when she was young.
He got her to run away from home,
and now he's after her again.
She must have been totally brainwashed.
Oh, I think she knows exactly what she's doing.
Do you know where?
No, I don't know. In Rome,
but Valentina's trying to find out more.
What time is it?
Almost 2:00.
E' impossibile
I'm so sorry, Carmen.
Marcellino, what he think?
Non lo so.
Che fortuna.
I'm gonna get this guy to stop, no matter what.
Good. Show leg.
Show my leg? Yes.
Is that a cultural thing?
Sexual, cross-cultural, cross--
I think my natural charms will be enough.
Hey! Stop!
Mamma Mia.
What? What?! No.
And now what?
I supposed to let a greasy farmer feel me up?
Ciao.
Sorry about the, uh, "whoo."
Actually, it was her idea.
Don't apologize.
I liked it.
Salve. Salve.
And you are the mother of...
Summer falk. Yes.
The same woman featured in the news as a nonna-napper?
Well, that's not accurate.
But she did take this man's car without his consent,
and at the same time,
she kidnapped his mother.
Well, no. No, she wanted to be kidnapped.
No, I mean, she didn't want to be--
she didn't want to be kidnapped,
but she's been trying to get--
it says here that she claimed to be a kidnapper at the airport.
What?
No. No, no, no, no, no, no.
No.
I said i kidnapped her.
Oh, you kidnapped her.
Yes. No, no, no.
I mean, i didn't kidnap her.
I was saying it, like, as a--
you know, just as a joke.
You know, as a joke. You know, like--
as a joke.
It's funny. Like ha ha ha.
Can you please provide her physical characteristics, please?
Sure. Sure. Um...
She's, um-- she's 5'3",
and, um, she has blue eyes.
Uh, she has a couple of piercings.
I mean, they're very minor,
not as bad as it sounds.
Um, and, uh...
She has a tattoo.
A tattoo?
One or two,
but they're very innocuous thematically.
You know, she has a--
it's, like-- she has a butterfly,
and she has a cute little...
Skull.
Yeah. I mean, it's--
they're teenagers,
so you--what are you gonna do?
Yeah. Uh, criminal records?
Well, um, it's a little bit of a gray area,
I mean, legally speaking, 'cause she's not a--
at the airport, she claimed to have no criminal past.
Look, are you going to help me?
Criminal records, please.
Um...
All right, there were these rabbits.
Rabbits?
Yes, and they needed to be liberated.
Hello.
Maggie. Hello.
The marriage will be
at the chiesa Santa caterina dei funari.
Ok. Tell Luca.
He must hurry. Yeah.
Grazie.
Chiesa Santa caterina dei funari.
Maggie!
Look. Roma.
Wow.
Perfect hiding place for the kidnapper of la nonna, right?
What? Relax.
I admire you.
You do?
Yeah.
You know those farmer dudes with the chickens?
They are my neighbors.
I run an ecological farm in the next valley,
but those men, they are assholes,
treat their chickens like shit.
I'm glad you liberated them.
Actually, it wasn't planned this time.
We just needed some gas so we could get to Rome.
She's got a hot date at some chiesa, you know?
But I guess, in a way,
you could say that's a higher purpose.
And what about you?
You also have a hot date?
No.
I...
Kinda got a boyfriend back home, but...
Too bad.
Here we are.
Do you--
are you on Facebook, by any chance?
I'll find you.
Hey, Rome, huh?
Let's do as the romans don't.
I know I will.
Do you know your way around?
Sì, sì. It's not so far.
That's great. Marcellino will be so buzzed to see you.
Tyler will be buzzed, too, no?
Yeah.
Now I guess I'll go find
an airport bus or something.
Come on. Let's get out of here.
Oh, scusi. Scusi.
Uh, chiesa--
chiesa Santa caterina?
It's a church.
Excuse me. Chiesa Santa cat--
thanks. Santa caterina?
Oh, um, dove--
uh, you know where,
uh, chiesa Santa caterina dei funari--
chiesa--it's a church.
This way?
Ah, grazie, grazie.
Uh, molto Bella, grazie.
Don't worry about it, lady.
Oh, thank you.
Hello.
Maggie.
Dove? Ok.
Sì.
Giulia.
Ok.
A la Santa caterina dei funari.
Come on.
Is this it?
Ok. Eh?
Yeah. Yes?
Is it ok if i come with you?
Here.
Marcellino.
Carmen.
Oh, Carmen.
Mamma Mia.
Cari amati...
Summer!
Mom?
Sorry. I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Hi. Ah, honey. What are you doing?
You're totally screwing up this beautiful thing.
Listen to me. You listen to me, ok?
The police are coming, but it's ok.
I'm gonna fix everything, all right? Fix what?
I need you to come with me now.
No, mom, i am not leaving.
Summer, you have to come with me.
Do you know what I've been through to get here?
Siamo qui riuniti alla presenza di dio...
Summer, come on, sweetie.
No. Stop it. We have to go.
Seriously, you have to come with me now. I'm serious.
I'm not moving.
Seriously?
No, Luca. No. No, no.
Papà?
Carmen.
Carmen. Carmen.
Chiami un'ambulanza.
No, no, no.
Summer falk, you're under arrest.
No. No, no, no. You can't do this.
Yes, we can, madam.
'Cause your daughter has stolen a car,
kidnapped a defenseless old--
no, she didn't kidnap--
she's driven without a valid driving license.
She forged your signature
and caused damage to a hire car,
stolen gasoline, broken a fence, released chickens,
and caused what could have developed...
For crying out loud. Into a major fire
if the firemen hadn't come very quickly.
And all of the above in less than 24 hours.
Summer, summer, summer.
Stop, no! Mom! No, no, no.
Can't just take her. I have to be with her.
What are you doing? Where are you taking her?
I don't even know where you're taking her.
To the police station, madam.
Hey, gentle! Gentle!
Stop it! Don't be so rough with her!
She's not a hardened criminal. What are you doing?
There will be a hearing tomorrow morning at 9:00 at the police station.
That will be your opportunity to state your case.
- Arrivederci. - Mom.
Honey, I'm coming, ok? I'll be right there.
I'll be right there. I'll be--
hey.
I'm sorry.
Maybe things got a little out of hand.
W-why are you sorry?
You got your story. That's what you wanted, wasn't it?
I wanted to help you.
Luca. You wanted to help Luca.
Call me if there's anything I can do for you.
Please.
Hi.
Candy and Marcel. Heh.
The way we were.
It would have been so cool
just to have had one more chance, you know?
Uh, she's in room 103.
This one. Thank you.
Grazie. Thanks.
Sì.
Maggie.
Hey. Hi.
I wanted to see how Carmen was, and--
she was lucky.
She has a mild concussion
from when she fell and hit her head on the floor.
She's recovering well.
Oh, my god, I'm glad. I'm so glad.
I really wanted to apologize
for being so selfish.
What should I expect from a woman
who just runs away when it suits her?
It was the same back then.
You just...
Packed your bags and left.
You act unilaterally.
You cut off communication.
That's fine. Heh.
The message is clear, chiaro.
But, Luca, back then, i--
what?
I thought you would forget it.
Sure.
Just because I...
I tell every girl I meet that I love her?
Don't worry about it.
I'm fine. My mother is fine.
My daughter is fine.
Daughter?
Oh.
So ok.
Goodbye, Maggie.
Giulia carni.
Giulia, it's Maggie falk.
Giulia.
Oh.
Look, I've told you I'm so sorry.
No, you said every story
can be viewed from different angles,
and I would like to give you another opportunity.
What is this all about?
Well, if you will listen, i will tell you.
Ok.
I suppose I owe you that.
But I need a drink first.
Ragazzo, Martini per favore.
Thank you for helping me.
I was concerned you might...
Have a negative attitude because of him, Luca.
Luca? No.
I gave him up long time ago.
Too hard to get.
Well, we dated some...
But there was always someone else in the way...
Some woman a long, long time ago
who he couldn't forget.
I think she was American.
I wish the two of you all luck.
...comprising 17 infractions
to be sentenced under the juvenile court
with the expected outcome of a significant fine,
criminal record, and proceeding for deportation.
I'm--
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I'm late.
Mom, where were you? Sorry, honey.
Oh, yeah, that's all right. We'll soon be finished here.
Since your daughter is a minor,
you'll be called to a separate meeting with social services,
um, so we can go through details and--
and, uh, discuss--
I'm sorry. I have to take this.
Pronto, comandante.
Sì. Sì--
scusi?
Grazie. Grazie.
Wow, mom, that was amazing.
How'd you get her to go along with you?
Oh, I appealed to her sense of...
Journalistic sisterhood.
Well, you journalized the hell out of it.
Did I? Totally.
You were like, "i came, i saw, I crushed."
You were Caesar.
Wow. If you say so.
You were like the mother of all caesars.
You really-- a caesarian section.
You operated. You liberated Caesar from your womb.
Oh, I did.
Mmm.
I liberated my little rabbit.
Don't call me that.
Well, it's true.
You're free.
And when I say free,
I mean free.
You mean I can do whatever I want and call Tyler free?
I am backing you 100%.
Even if I drive off a cliff?
Yes. I mean, not physically.
In that case,
can I borrow your phone?
I'm getting you a new one.
Thanks.
Tyler?
Summer. Heh.
Baby, yo, how'd it go?
Um, are you--are you cool to head back?
Yeah. I can do whatever I want.
That is awesome. So that's settled.
It turns out I'm not going to be able to help you.
But you promised.
I did,
but I'm breaking that promise,
'cause I realized you have no honor.
Honor?
Yeah, honor,
an apparently outmoded patriarchal concept that I'm--
I'm...
That I'm-- I'm reappropriating as a nongender term
for the furtherance of individual responsibility.
Can you just tell him that?
No, no. It's better coming from you.
What I mean is,
Tyler, you're a dick.
What are you gonna do now?
Go back to uncle George's cottage?
Nah, nah, nah. We're gonna stay in Rome for a few days,
'cause there's something that I promised to make right.
Hmm.
Grazie.
Ok.
Hey.
Grazie.
Hi.
You're right.
I do cut people off when I'm scared.
Maggie, i-- i wish--
I wish I had been straight with you.
I wish I had stayed
instead of running away.
Yeah, but-- you don't have to explain.
Honestly, it doesn't matter now.
I just came because I want
to return the favor you did me when you opened my eyes,
because your mother is genuinely
very much in love with that man,
and she is gonna do what she wants to do
with or without your say-so.
So...
Say so.
Maybe.
I don't know.
By the way, how old is your daughter?
23.
So you already had her back then.
I mean when we were...
When we were together.
Why didn't you tell me?
Would you have gone with a divorced guy
with a young daughter?
I'm gonna take that as rhetorical.
Hey.
Could you...
Accept one now?
See how you feel about that thought in 20 minutes' time.
What?
Where are you going?
Shh.
Oh.
Did you arrange this?
A woman takes what she wants
when she wants it, right, Carmen?
Marcellino e Carmen...
Sì. Sì.
A la Mia bellissima sposa.
Sposa. Hey!
She looks so happy.
I think you're gonna have to get used to that.
And this as well.
Maybe.
Hmm.
I think, with the use of all my strength...
I think I'll manage.
1, 2...