1 00:00:05,164 --> 00:00:07,398 Does anyone want to go on a 150 mile bike ride 2 00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:08,616 with me this weekend? 3 00:00:08,701 --> 00:00:10,668 It's to support schools in Uganda. 4 00:00:10,753 --> 00:00:12,807 No, thanks. I prefer not to turn my vagina 5 00:00:12,893 --> 00:00:14,728 into ground turkey. 6 00:00:15,341 --> 00:00:16,791 What a surprise. 7 00:00:16,876 --> 00:00:19,844 The six degenerates sitting around doing nothing. 8 00:00:19,929 --> 00:00:22,296 Marty, shouldn't you be cleaning drawings of boners 9 00:00:22,382 --> 00:00:23,223 off bathroom stalls? 10 00:00:23,342 --> 00:00:25,933 For your information, I already rubbed out 11 00:00:26,052 --> 00:00:28,719 three in the boys' room this morning. 12 00:00:28,855 --> 00:00:30,888 The reason I am here is because I read an article 13 00:00:31,023 --> 00:00:33,724 that said if you give underperforming teachers 14 00:00:33,860 --> 00:00:36,644 new challenges, you get big results. 15 00:00:36,729 --> 00:00:38,396 I immediately thought of this group. 16 00:00:38,531 --> 00:00:40,564 Because we get big results? 17 00:00:40,700 --> 00:00:41,899 No. 18 00:00:41,984 --> 00:00:45,119 Principal Pearson loved my idea 19 00:00:45,238 --> 00:00:46,954 so I will be assigning each of you 20 00:00:47,073 --> 00:00:48,873 new extracurricular activities. 21 00:00:48,958 --> 00:00:50,791 Ms. Snap, you will be in charge 22 00:00:50,910 --> 00:00:52,293 of the after-school gifted program. 23 00:00:52,412 --> 00:00:54,295 Oh, I can't relate to people with glasses. 24 00:00:54,414 --> 00:00:57,498 Ms. Watson, Ms. Cannon, you will be 25 00:00:57,583 --> 00:01:00,418 co-captains on field day. 26 00:01:00,503 --> 00:01:01,752 I love organizing events. 27 00:01:01,838 --> 00:01:04,422 I'm responsible for 97% of the marches 28 00:01:04,557 --> 00:01:05,756 on city hall this year. 29 00:01:05,892 --> 00:01:07,508 Mrs. Adler, Ms. Feldman, you will be assisting 30 00:01:07,593 --> 00:01:08,893 with field day. 31 00:01:08,978 --> 00:01:11,061 Ah, this will be just like being a wedding planner, 32 00:01:11,147 --> 00:01:13,731 but without all the homicidal feelings of jealous. 33 00:01:13,816 --> 00:01:15,149 Don't worry. We'll make you guys 34 00:01:15,268 --> 00:01:16,092 feel super involved. 35 00:01:16,202 --> 00:01:17,490 Not necessary. 36 00:01:17,515 --> 00:01:19,186 These two control freaks in charge? 37 00:01:19,272 --> 00:01:21,272 - Mama's not doing shiz. - Mm-hmm. 38 00:01:21,357 --> 00:01:24,024 - What about me? - Sorry. 39 00:01:24,110 --> 00:01:25,609 I often forget that you're here. 40 00:01:25,745 --> 00:01:29,780 You will be teaching after-school sex ed. 41 00:01:29,916 --> 00:01:31,115 I don't want to teach sex ed. 42 00:01:31,250 --> 00:01:33,200 Ms. Bennigan, sometimes we have to do things 43 00:01:33,286 --> 00:01:34,084 we don't want to. 44 00:01:34,170 --> 00:01:36,086 I, for example, just had to have 45 00:01:36,172 --> 00:01:39,206 this conversation with all of you. 46 00:01:43,679 --> 00:01:47,381 You guys, I can't teach sex ed. 47 00:01:47,467 --> 00:01:52,803 What I'm about to reveal to you is very personal. 48 00:01:52,939 --> 00:01:54,555 I don't know how to say this, 49 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:56,390 but I'm a... 50 00:01:56,476 --> 00:01:57,641 Virgin. 51 00:01:57,727 --> 00:01:58,893 How'd you know? 52 00:01:58,978 --> 00:02:00,644 Mary Louise, you thought a blow job 53 00:02:00,730 --> 00:02:02,279 was a fancy hairdo. 54 00:02:02,365 --> 00:02:04,281 What else would it be? 55 00:02:07,238 --> 00:02:11,989 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 56 00:02:17,497 --> 00:02:20,831 Ms. Snap? Hi, I'm Charles's mother Rita. 57 00:02:20,917 --> 00:02:22,750 - Hi, nice to meet you. - Pleasure. 58 00:02:22,835 --> 00:02:25,970 I heard you're running the after-school gifted program. 59 00:02:26,055 --> 00:02:27,221 How'd you hear that? 60 00:02:27,340 --> 00:02:28,839 I was just assigned it this morning. 61 00:02:28,925 --> 00:02:31,258 Well, I am the president of the PTA. 62 00:02:31,344 --> 00:02:32,160 I hear everything. 63 00:02:34,180 --> 00:02:35,179 You know what? 64 00:02:35,264 --> 00:02:38,315 I want you to put my son in the gifted program. 65 00:02:43,940 --> 00:02:46,857 Charles is a fine student, but I don't think 66 00:02:46,943 --> 00:02:48,148 he would be happy in the program. 67 00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:50,502 - Really? - Yeah, it's pretty advanced. 68 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:52,913 Well, maybe I didn't make myself clear. 69 00:02:53,032 --> 00:02:57,418 I expect him to be placed in the gifted program. 70 00:02:57,537 --> 00:02:58,489 Excuse me? 71 00:02:58,574 --> 00:03:00,504 Wow, I assumed the teacher assigned 72 00:03:00,590 --> 00:03:04,091 to the gifted program would be a little quicker on the uptake. 73 00:03:04,210 --> 00:03:07,344 - I'm president of the PTA. - I got that. 74 00:03:07,430 --> 00:03:09,630 And I think it is so great for women who don't work 75 00:03:09,715 --> 00:03:11,382 to have a little club to belong to. 76 00:03:11,517 --> 00:03:13,517 Oh, you do? 77 00:03:13,603 --> 00:03:15,052 Look, if you fail to make this happen, 78 00:03:15,137 --> 00:03:16,554 my "little club" will make your life 79 00:03:16,689 --> 00:03:18,188 a living hell. 80 00:03:20,192 --> 00:03:22,860 It's the PTA, not the CIA. 81 00:03:22,945 --> 00:03:24,228 Is it? 82 00:03:28,818 --> 00:03:30,034 This is gonna be great. 83 00:03:30,119 --> 00:03:32,620 I know. I loved field day as a kid. 84 00:03:32,738 --> 00:03:35,205 And we're clearly the right pair to be in charge. 85 00:03:35,291 --> 00:03:37,241 If you could have sex with anyone, 86 00:03:37,376 --> 00:03:40,878 but immediately after, your head would explode, 87 00:03:40,963 --> 00:03:42,746 who would you choose? 88 00:03:42,882 --> 00:03:44,915 - Cheech and Chong. - You can't choose two. 89 00:03:45,001 --> 00:03:46,417 You have to choose one. 90 00:03:46,502 --> 00:03:49,574 Oh, my God. This is like "Sophie's Choice." 91 00:03:50,501 --> 00:03:52,492 Ugh, I choose Cheech. 92 00:03:53,476 --> 00:03:56,343 But Chong gets to watch. 93 00:03:56,429 --> 00:03:57,394 Mm, hot. 94 00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:59,013 Ugh, you were saying? 95 00:03:59,098 --> 00:04:00,397 Field day's a great way to teach children 96 00:04:00,483 --> 00:04:01,398 about community. 97 00:04:01,484 --> 00:04:03,267 Totally. And it introduces kids 98 00:04:03,402 --> 00:04:05,903 to the reality that there are winners and losers in life. 99 00:04:05,988 --> 00:04:08,272 - I'm sorry? - You know. 100 00:04:08,407 --> 00:04:10,324 That some people are better than others. 101 00:04:10,443 --> 00:04:12,693 Wait, just because you win doesn't mean you're 102 00:04:12,778 --> 00:04:14,278 better than another person. 103 00:04:14,413 --> 00:04:17,414 Everybody wins if they try hard and have a positive attitude. 104 00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:20,784 Uh, wrong. Listen, I am who I am today 105 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:23,787 because I placed first in four national dressage tourneys 106 00:04:23,923 --> 00:04:26,006 and I won my debutante ball. 107 00:04:26,125 --> 00:04:28,375 I didn't know that was a competition. 108 00:04:28,461 --> 00:04:30,044 - I made it one. - God! 109 00:04:30,129 --> 00:04:33,213 Stupid jump ropes suck ass. 110 00:04:33,299 --> 00:04:35,432 Hey! Stop playing around, you guys. 111 00:04:35,518 --> 00:04:37,217 We still have to separate orange cones 112 00:04:37,303 --> 00:04:40,471 and sweep out the volleyball area. 113 00:04:45,945 --> 00:04:47,144 Okay. 114 00:04:47,279 --> 00:04:50,030 Let's get this boat in the water. 115 00:04:50,149 --> 00:04:54,368 Who knows what S-E-X is? 116 00:04:58,491 --> 00:05:01,659 No one's parents taught them anything? 117 00:05:01,794 --> 00:05:03,043 Okay. 118 00:05:03,162 --> 00:05:05,212 Why don't we start with these models? 119 00:05:08,384 --> 00:05:10,634 Okay. 120 00:05:12,755 --> 00:05:14,421 Wowzers. 121 00:05:16,475 --> 00:05:17,725 Okay. 122 00:05:17,843 --> 00:05:21,522 Who knows what this is? 123 00:05:21,607 --> 00:05:23,764 - A monster? - What? 124 00:05:23,849 --> 00:05:25,399 A maze? 125 00:05:25,518 --> 00:05:29,987 This is a 3-D model of the female reproductive system. 126 00:05:30,072 --> 00:05:32,773 Okay. And... 127 00:05:32,858 --> 00:05:36,527 who knows what this is? 128 00:05:36,662 --> 00:05:37,861 A wiener. 129 00:05:37,947 --> 00:05:40,698 - Also known as? - A [BLEEP]. 130 00:05:40,833 --> 00:05:42,583 Wiener works. Okay. 131 00:05:42,702 --> 00:05:45,619 That means that these must be the berries. 132 00:05:45,705 --> 00:05:47,705 Whoa. 133 00:05:47,790 --> 00:05:49,757 Ms. Bennigan? 134 00:05:49,875 --> 00:05:51,208 - Hot Dad. - Hi. 135 00:05:51,293 --> 00:05:53,677 I'm your after-school parent volunteer this week. 136 00:05:53,763 --> 00:05:55,212 What are we... 137 00:05:55,297 --> 00:05:58,432 Working on? 138 00:06:08,621 --> 00:06:10,288 Those jump ropes were the worst. 139 00:06:10,373 --> 00:06:12,206 It was a like a Rubik's Cube and a Sudoku 140 00:06:12,292 --> 00:06:14,258 banged each other and had a devil baby. 141 00:06:14,344 --> 00:06:16,627 Yeah, these new assignments gargle ass. 142 00:06:16,763 --> 00:06:18,129 I know. They suck. 143 00:06:18,214 --> 00:06:20,798 The president of the PTA threatened me today. 144 00:06:20,883 --> 00:06:22,391 Rita Towers? 145 00:06:22,527 --> 00:06:23,551 She's a nightmare. 146 00:06:23,636 --> 00:06:25,970 I wouldn't buy anything from the PTA bake sale one year, 147 00:06:26,105 --> 00:06:28,222 so she stuck the kid with oppositional disorder 148 00:06:28,308 --> 00:06:29,307 in my class. 149 00:06:30,643 --> 00:06:32,193 She wants her kid in the gifted program, 150 00:06:32,312 --> 00:06:33,144 but he would be miserable. 151 00:06:33,229 --> 00:06:35,196 He thinks Lake Michigan is an ocean. 152 00:06:35,315 --> 00:06:37,448 I already bought a giant winner's trophy. 153 00:06:37,533 --> 00:06:39,784 I already bought 300 ribbons that say "Special" on them. 154 00:06:39,869 --> 00:06:41,652 Perfect. We can stuff them into the trophy 155 00:06:41,788 --> 00:06:43,821 to reinforce how special the winner is. 156 00:06:43,906 --> 00:06:45,873 My assignment's a real stinker. 157 00:06:45,992 --> 00:06:47,742 Sex ed? Can't be that bad. 158 00:06:47,827 --> 00:06:51,329 It is. I still have my hymen! 159 00:06:51,414 --> 00:06:54,799 My after-school parent volunteer is Hot Dad. 160 00:06:54,884 --> 00:06:56,500 How am I supposed to explain sex ed in front 161 00:06:56,636 --> 00:06:57,835 of the best-looking man to walk the Earth 162 00:06:57,971 --> 00:06:59,420 since Donny Osmond? 163 00:06:59,505 --> 00:07:01,389 - Oh, you lucky bitch. - Yeah. 164 00:07:01,507 --> 00:07:03,090 This is a huge opportunity. 165 00:07:03,176 --> 00:07:05,226 You teaching sex ed in front of Hot Dad 166 00:07:05,345 --> 00:07:07,345 is just like the female baboon presenting her 167 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:10,514 swollen, orange buttocks to attract a sexual partner. 168 00:07:10,650 --> 00:07:12,850 Ugh, that's not what I was thinking. 169 00:07:12,986 --> 00:07:14,819 That is exactly what I was thinking. 170 00:07:16,356 --> 00:07:20,191 Energy from the sun is actually food for plants. 171 00:07:20,326 --> 00:07:22,326 Oh. 172 00:07:22,412 --> 00:07:24,445 Mm. Too hot. 173 00:07:24,530 --> 00:07:25,579 - Ms. Snap. - Marty. 174 00:07:25,698 --> 00:07:27,031 I'm in the middle of a lesson. 175 00:07:27,166 --> 00:07:28,666 I'm here to tell you that Mrs. Towers will be 176 00:07:28,751 --> 00:07:30,201 your room parent for the week. 177 00:07:30,286 --> 00:07:32,036 Mrs. Schneider is my room parent. 178 00:07:32,121 --> 00:07:33,704 There's been a change. 179 00:07:33,790 --> 00:07:35,256 Mrs. Towers will be your room parent 180 00:07:35,375 --> 00:07:36,507 for as long as she wants. 181 00:07:36,592 --> 00:07:37,958 Ohh, thank you, Marty. 182 00:07:38,044 --> 00:07:39,510 I will be sure to add your proposal 183 00:07:39,595 --> 00:07:43,347 for Administrator's Appreciation Week to our agenda. 184 00:07:43,433 --> 00:07:45,850 Thank you so much. 185 00:07:49,856 --> 00:07:51,722 Okay. I'm onto your game. 186 00:07:51,858 --> 00:07:54,225 But it is so nice to have you. 187 00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:57,061 Please, take a seat. 188 00:08:02,785 --> 00:08:04,902 Okay, so where were we? 189 00:08:05,038 --> 00:08:07,071 With all of that sunshine and water 190 00:08:07,156 --> 00:08:09,740 and carbon dioxide, in the plants' bellies. 191 00:08:09,826 --> 00:08:12,743 Oh, uh, plants don't have bellies. 192 00:08:12,879 --> 00:08:15,413 Heh. They have chloroplasts. 193 00:08:15,548 --> 00:08:17,465 - What? - Chloroplasts. 194 00:08:17,583 --> 00:08:21,719 Chloroplasts convert energy molecules, not bellies. 195 00:08:21,804 --> 00:08:23,980 That's so helpful. Thank you. 196 00:08:24,065 --> 00:08:25,152 Mm. 197 00:08:25,237 --> 00:08:26,891 Like I said, with all of the nutrients 198 00:08:26,976 --> 00:08:31,345 in the plants' chloroplasts, they turn green... 199 00:08:31,431 --> 00:08:35,516 Actually, the green color comes from chlorophyll. 200 00:08:35,601 --> 00:08:37,601 You should probably teach at the top 201 00:08:37,687 --> 00:08:39,437 of your intelligence level. 202 00:08:39,522 --> 00:08:43,074 Oh, oh, maybe you're there already. 203 00:08:46,863 --> 00:08:48,779 Will you guys excuse me? 204 00:08:50,199 --> 00:08:52,616 I am onto you, bitch, and I'm not putting 205 00:08:52,702 --> 00:08:54,668 your basic son in my gifted program 206 00:08:54,787 --> 00:08:56,287 no matter what you do. 207 00:08:56,422 --> 00:08:58,839 You don't get it. 208 00:08:58,958 --> 00:09:01,792 The PTA isn't just me. 209 00:09:05,047 --> 00:09:07,431 Huh, a bunch of students standing around 210 00:09:07,517 --> 00:09:08,799 holding each other? 211 00:09:08,885 --> 00:09:11,185 "Circle hug" is not a game. There's no winner. 212 00:09:11,304 --> 00:09:13,304 Everyone wins because everyone feels loved. 213 00:09:13,439 --> 00:09:15,306 - It's perfect. - It's diarrhea. 214 00:09:15,441 --> 00:09:17,224 Someone doesn't always have to win. 215 00:09:17,310 --> 00:09:18,809 Uh, okay. I don't have time 216 00:09:18,895 --> 00:09:20,611 to explain America to you right now. 217 00:09:20,696 --> 00:09:22,897 Hey, we're done separating the soccer balls 218 00:09:22,982 --> 00:09:24,482 from the volleyballs 219 00:09:24,617 --> 00:09:28,152 and laying out the chalk lines and putting up the nets. 220 00:09:28,287 --> 00:09:30,571 Are you guys gonna do anything? 221 00:09:30,656 --> 00:09:32,990 We were assuming that the people in charge of field day 222 00:09:33,126 --> 00:09:35,626 might actually participate in setting it up. 223 00:09:35,711 --> 00:09:37,912 Okay, we're wrestling 224 00:09:37,997 --> 00:09:40,080 with the sociological implications of field day, 225 00:09:40,166 --> 00:09:41,665 which you could not possibly understand. 226 00:09:41,751 --> 00:09:42,716 Yeah. 227 00:09:42,835 --> 00:09:44,084 We're the queen bees, 228 00:09:44,170 --> 00:09:45,886 and you're the worker bees. 229 00:09:46,005 --> 00:09:47,755 Just accept your roles 230 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:50,508 and go sort the Wiffle balls. 231 00:09:50,593 --> 00:09:51,809 Okay? 232 00:09:53,846 --> 00:09:55,930 Sweater-wearing whore. 233 00:09:56,015 --> 00:09:58,182 Tabbouleh-breath bitch. 234 00:09:58,317 --> 00:09:59,817 Oh, 235 00:09:59,902 --> 00:10:01,685 there will be blood. 236 00:10:03,439 --> 00:10:07,191 Yesterday we talked about these. 237 00:10:07,276 --> 00:10:08,859 The wiener and the maze? 238 00:10:08,945 --> 00:10:12,363 Yes, the wiener and the maze. 239 00:10:14,083 --> 00:10:17,585 So this is filled with little tadpoles. 240 00:10:19,255 --> 00:10:23,541 And this is filled with a great big egg. 241 00:10:23,626 --> 00:10:24,875 You dropped the maze. 242 00:10:24,961 --> 00:10:27,678 Uh, actually this is a cross section 243 00:10:27,763 --> 00:10:30,014 of the female reproductive system. 244 00:10:30,099 --> 00:10:31,015 Don't worry, Ms. Bennigan. 245 00:10:31,100 --> 00:10:32,466 I was in medical school for a year 246 00:10:32,552 --> 00:10:34,218 before I dropped out to take better care of Blake. 247 00:10:34,303 --> 00:10:36,103 Hot Doctor. 248 00:10:36,222 --> 00:10:37,638 Okay. 249 00:10:37,723 --> 00:10:38,856 This is a penis. 250 00:10:38,941 --> 00:10:41,225 When a man is sexually aroused, 251 00:10:41,310 --> 00:10:42,526 the penis encourages with blood 252 00:10:42,612 --> 00:10:44,395 and becomes erect so it can enter the vagina. 253 00:10:46,065 --> 00:10:47,898 You got this. 254 00:10:48,034 --> 00:10:50,985 The vagina has many different parts. 255 00:10:51,070 --> 00:10:54,238 This larger fold is a labia majora, 256 00:10:54,373 --> 00:10:57,074 and underneath is a labia minora, 257 00:10:57,210 --> 00:10:58,993 which cups this opening here 258 00:10:59,078 --> 00:11:00,244 where the penis enters. 259 00:11:01,714 --> 00:11:04,415 Now, the vagina is prepared for the penis to enter 260 00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:07,001 because it's already produced a lubricating mucus. 261 00:11:07,086 --> 00:11:09,086 Ms. Bennigan, can you please bring the vagina closer 262 00:11:09,222 --> 00:11:12,590 so that I can demonstrate sexual intercourse? 263 00:11:14,810 --> 00:11:17,678 The penis will enter... 264 00:11:18,848 --> 00:11:20,431 And reenter... 265 00:11:21,767 --> 00:11:23,651 And reenter... 266 00:11:25,771 --> 00:11:27,605 And reenter... 267 00:11:28,741 --> 00:11:30,491 And reenter 268 00:11:30,610 --> 00:11:33,110 until the male climaxes and ejaculates, 269 00:11:33,246 --> 00:11:34,612 fertilizing the egg. 270 00:11:46,008 --> 00:11:48,042 I guess that could be a part of it too. 271 00:11:58,151 --> 00:12:00,768 Sorry. I can't get it either. 272 00:12:01,281 --> 00:12:02,414 That's cool. 273 00:12:02,533 --> 00:12:04,116 We can turn it into an event. 274 00:12:04,201 --> 00:12:05,700 Oh, hey, I got one. 275 00:12:05,786 --> 00:12:08,587 If you can kick your steel-toed combat boot 276 00:12:08,705 --> 00:12:11,206 from here into that garbage can across the room, 277 00:12:11,341 --> 00:12:13,208 you get to have sex with Stacian Lawrence. 278 00:12:13,343 --> 00:12:15,927 From the local pizza ads? 279 00:12:16,046 --> 00:12:17,045 Oh, my panties. 280 00:12:17,131 --> 00:12:19,181 Sex, sex, sex... 281 00:12:19,266 --> 00:12:20,715 is that all anyone thinks about? 282 00:12:20,851 --> 00:12:23,885 Why is everyone so obsessed with sex? 283 00:12:24,021 --> 00:12:25,554 Is it really that great? 284 00:12:25,639 --> 00:12:26,605 Yeah. 285 00:12:26,723 --> 00:12:28,223 - You okay, ML? - No. 286 00:12:28,308 --> 00:12:31,276 Teaching sex ed with Hot Dad was a mistake. 287 00:12:31,395 --> 00:12:33,895 Then I kissed him... 288 00:12:34,031 --> 00:12:35,564 - Sort of. - Uh-oh. 289 00:12:35,649 --> 00:12:37,699 Sounds like you took it a little too far. 290 00:12:37,784 --> 00:12:39,151 Doi! 291 00:12:39,236 --> 00:12:42,287 I'll never be comfortable with sex. 292 00:12:42,406 --> 00:12:45,290 Now Hot Dad thinks I'm a total doof box. 293 00:12:45,409 --> 00:12:46,741 I'm never gonna get married, 294 00:12:46,877 --> 00:12:48,660 and then saving my hymen will have been for nothing! 295 00:12:48,745 --> 00:12:50,078 Hey, where's the ball bag? 296 00:12:50,164 --> 00:12:52,247 Under the penis! 297 00:12:52,382 --> 00:12:54,249 I am not an idiot! 298 00:12:57,387 --> 00:12:59,171 Right over here. 299 00:13:07,431 --> 00:13:08,680 What is going on? 300 00:13:08,765 --> 00:13:11,233 Oh, we're having a bake sale. 301 00:13:11,318 --> 00:13:12,517 In my parking spot? 302 00:13:12,603 --> 00:13:14,736 We're the PTA. 303 00:13:14,821 --> 00:13:16,655 We will kill you. 304 00:13:16,773 --> 00:13:17,739 What? 305 00:13:27,501 --> 00:13:28,783 What happened to my desk? 306 00:13:31,371 --> 00:13:33,455 The PTA needed it. 307 00:13:43,433 --> 00:13:44,349 Ahh! 308 00:14:02,619 --> 00:14:03,652 That's how the baby comes out. 309 00:14:03,787 --> 00:14:04,953 The end. 310 00:14:08,408 --> 00:14:10,125 Why don't you have a baby? 311 00:14:10,210 --> 00:14:11,793 Well... 312 00:14:11,878 --> 00:14:13,795 because I'm not married yet. 313 00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:16,464 You don't have to be married to have a baby. 314 00:14:16,550 --> 00:14:18,383 My cousin Savannah got pregnant, 315 00:14:18,502 --> 00:14:20,502 and she doesn't even have a boyfriend. 316 00:14:20,587 --> 00:14:23,505 Well, some people think that you should wait. 317 00:14:23,590 --> 00:14:25,724 Yeah, losers and fraidycats. 318 00:14:25,842 --> 00:14:27,309 I'm not a fraidycat. 319 00:14:33,650 --> 00:14:35,900 I'm a virgin. 320 00:14:37,654 --> 00:14:39,354 Is there something wrong with you? 321 00:14:39,439 --> 00:14:41,189 No. 322 00:14:41,325 --> 00:14:45,026 I'm just choosing to wait for the right person, 323 00:14:45,112 --> 00:14:48,446 and I know that's not very attractive to some people, 324 00:14:48,532 --> 00:14:50,198 but it's who I am. 325 00:14:50,284 --> 00:14:52,250 And someday, all of you 326 00:14:52,369 --> 00:14:54,002 will have to make that choice too. 327 00:14:55,789 --> 00:14:57,699 Just because your friends have sex 328 00:14:57,761 --> 00:14:59,010 without so much as a how-de-do 329 00:14:59,073 --> 00:15:00,342 doesn't mean that you have to. 330 00:15:00,427 --> 00:15:02,043 Hmm. 331 00:15:04,548 --> 00:15:07,048 I just taught you guys something about sex. 332 00:15:21,615 --> 00:15:22,981 Okay, guys, we're gonna play 333 00:15:23,066 --> 00:15:25,734 a super fun game called the invisible shoe kick. 334 00:15:25,869 --> 00:15:27,952 Why don't we just kick our real shoes? 335 00:15:28,071 --> 00:15:29,738 Because yesterday when Mrs. Adler 336 00:15:29,873 --> 00:15:31,573 kicked her steel-toed boot, 337 00:15:31,658 --> 00:15:33,575 she hit Mr. Spinnoli in the head, 338 00:15:33,660 --> 00:15:36,161 and now he's getting something called an MRI. 339 00:15:36,246 --> 00:15:38,246 All right, popular kids in the middle. 340 00:15:38,332 --> 00:15:39,631 Everyone else grab a ball. 341 00:15:39,750 --> 00:15:42,884 What's this stupid game called, anyway? 342 00:15:42,969 --> 00:15:44,169 Getting even. 343 00:15:46,590 --> 00:15:48,089 Go, go, go. Go, go, go. 344 00:15:53,980 --> 00:15:56,264 Everyone please line up for the three-legged race. 345 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:57,766 Okay, I am tweaking out. 346 00:15:57,901 --> 00:15:59,934 The PTA is seriously out to get me. 347 00:16:00,070 --> 00:16:01,319 I'm pretty sure they visited my mom 348 00:16:01,438 --> 00:16:02,437 in her nursing home. 349 00:16:02,572 --> 00:16:04,656 - Oh, my God. - I know. 350 00:16:04,775 --> 00:16:06,441 I'm, like, scared. 351 00:16:06,526 --> 00:16:08,443 Runners, on your mark. 352 00:16:08,528 --> 00:16:10,195 - Get set. - Ahh! 353 00:16:11,615 --> 00:16:12,614 Please stop! 354 00:16:12,749 --> 00:16:14,332 - Come on! - Stop! Stop! 355 00:16:15,869 --> 00:16:18,253 Well, ladies, looks like today 356 00:16:18,338 --> 00:16:19,954 has been quite a success. 357 00:16:20,090 --> 00:16:21,623 Yeah, pretty good. 358 00:16:21,708 --> 00:16:23,291 Wait. Where are Watson and Cannon? 359 00:16:23,377 --> 00:16:25,126 I would like to congratulate them. 360 00:16:25,262 --> 00:16:27,512 - I haven't seen 'em. You? - Nope. 361 00:16:28,965 --> 00:16:31,383 Feldman, Adler, unlock this door! 362 00:16:31,468 --> 00:16:33,051 Come on! 363 00:16:33,136 --> 00:16:34,302 Let us out! 364 00:16:34,388 --> 00:16:36,805 Hello! We're in charge! 365 00:16:38,475 --> 00:16:42,110 Now tell me it doesn't matter who wins and loses. 366 00:16:42,195 --> 00:16:44,396 God. 367 00:16:44,481 --> 00:16:47,148 I have to go to the bathroom. 368 00:16:47,284 --> 00:16:51,069 Here, use this. 369 00:16:52,989 --> 00:16:55,123 Fine, but I'm gonna wipe 370 00:16:55,208 --> 00:16:57,041 with your ribbons. 371 00:17:01,998 --> 00:17:05,083 Remember, Blake, keep that lead leg long and high. 372 00:17:08,255 --> 00:17:09,170 Ms. Bennigan. 373 00:17:09,256 --> 00:17:10,171 Hot Dad. 374 00:17:10,307 --> 00:17:12,090 Hi. 375 00:17:12,175 --> 00:17:15,844 Thanks so much for the sex with help ed. 376 00:17:18,932 --> 00:17:20,231 I just want to let you know 377 00:17:20,350 --> 00:17:22,901 I thought you did a great job yesterday. 378 00:17:23,019 --> 00:17:24,652 - Oh. - No, seriously. 379 00:17:24,738 --> 00:17:26,104 I thought it was really cool how honest 380 00:17:26,189 --> 00:17:27,272 you were with the kids. 381 00:17:27,357 --> 00:17:28,573 Thank you. 382 00:17:28,692 --> 00:17:29,774 And you shouldn't be embarrassed 383 00:17:29,860 --> 00:17:30,992 about being a virgin. 384 00:17:32,362 --> 00:17:34,245 I think it's very sweet. 385 00:17:37,250 --> 00:17:39,167 You okay? 386 00:17:39,252 --> 00:17:41,169 - Yeah! - Ms. Bennigan? 387 00:17:41,254 --> 00:17:43,621 Yes! 388 00:17:52,716 --> 00:17:54,849 My hymen! 389 00:17:58,582 --> 00:17:59,799 My little smarties, 390 00:17:59,884 --> 00:18:02,323 I am so excited to see your artistic interpretation 391 00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:04,573 of "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" 392 00:18:04,659 --> 00:18:05,992 by Robert Frost. 393 00:18:07,662 --> 00:18:10,129 Oh, that is powerful. 394 00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:12,298 So moving. 395 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:14,717 Beautiful. 396 00:18:15,951 --> 00:18:17,317 Charles, can you explain your drawing? 397 00:18:17,875 --> 00:18:19,875 It's a hotdog. 398 00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:30,160 So gifted.