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Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
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When you're in your 20s,
disputes with your landlord
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can land you in some pretty
compromising situations!
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My contacts are fusing to my eyeballs!
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Also, we're gonna die, aren't we?!
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Probably, yeah!
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My name is Cooper Barrett.
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My friends and I are
here to mess up our lives
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so you don't have to.
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_
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I know I've said this before,
but I mean it this time...
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- no more tequila, ever.
- _
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What? No.
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But tequila makes you break dance
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and talk in a bad British accent.
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My accent is bloody brilliant.
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I could literally talk like this all day.
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That's not even close.
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Okay, well, good night...
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pal.
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Yeah. See you tomorrow...
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buddy.
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Quick question: How
are we gonna deal with
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the incredible amount of
sexual tension between us?
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We are going to ignore it.
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Can you just admit that the kiss we had
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at the Clippers game was unbelievable.
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I've never been to a Clippers game.
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Fine.
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We don't have to talk about it.
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All right, fine, I admit it.
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The kiss was amazing.
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I'm just scared that if we try it again,
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that same magic's not gonna be there.
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Sure. It's like watching The
Goonies again when you're 20.
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Right, I don't know what that means.
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But I think,
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instead of trying to recreate it,
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we should just be
grateful for that moment
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and move on.
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Or...
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Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.
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Wow, this is really happening, huh?
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Feels so right.
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Oh. Something's touching my leg.
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I feel like it's less
romantic if we call it out.
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God, no.
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It's your stupid pet pig, James Franco.
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You guys treat him like a human being.
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We know he's an animal, all right?
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Brush your teeth, James
Franco, or no Fallon!
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Come on.
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Now...
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where were we?
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I know I've said this before,
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but I mean it this time.
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Vodka is delicious.
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Barry, code black! I repeat, code black!
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But code black means
that Cooper and Kelly
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are about to have se...
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...gregated washrooms.
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Saved it.
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What's up, guys? What's crack-a-lacking?
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- Go away.
- That's a weird code.
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Go to the room, use the bathroom.
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All right, now...
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where were we?
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Is something wrong?
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Yes! It's the pig, two roommates,
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one functioning wall outlet
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and a giant patch of
black mold on the ceiling.
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Oh, that's not black mold...
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we had an electrical fire.
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Which killed the black mold.
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Cooper, this apartment
is killing my lady boner.
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- What?
- I think you need to call Virgil
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- and get some repairs.
- Absolutely not.
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I mean, sure, he's not the best landlord,
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but our rent is cheap and
he lets us keep James Franco,
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so I'm not gonna rock the
boat over some minor repairs.
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Now...
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Now, where were we?
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What?
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- Hey, Virgil.
- Hi.
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How's everyone's favorite landlord?
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I'm not here.
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Okay, well, when you are here,
can you leave you a message?
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Hey, Virgil, there's something
wrong with our apartment,
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and we'd really appreciate it
if you just came down and...
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Hey, are those my headphones?
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No proof.
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They say "Neal" on the side.
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I had them custom made,
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but the package never got delivered.
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"Neal" is foreign brand. Very big.
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- Is that my shirt?
- Lies.
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Oh, hold on. Lies, my ass, okay?
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It's three sizes too big
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and it has the face of Santa Claus on it.
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That's Frederick Douglass.
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The face of Frederick Douglass.
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I wear as a nightgown.
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Look, look, Virgil, a giant tree
just fell into our apartment.
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Okay.
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What tree?
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This gigantic tree was
not here when we moved in.
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This is two bedroom, one tree, always.
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Well, in that case, that's on us.
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Look, are you gonna fix
the apartment or not?
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How do I know you did
not put tree here, hmm?
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Uh, because if we put a tree
in here, it would be oak,
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not this tacky pine.
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Oh, come on, I know you kids
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and your parties with your trees.
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Perverts.
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This is exactly why
everyone in the building
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thinks you're a horrible landlord.
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Who else thinks bad of Virgil, hmm?
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Nobody.
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Was it Kelly?
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- Yes.
- Yes, it was Kelly. That is correct
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Yep, you're right on the nose.
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♪ Don't you do something ♪
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♪ Just keep something, something ♪
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♪ I said, "Something, something" ♪
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♪ She said, "Shut up
and dance with me!" ♪
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Hey!
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If you refuse to fix our apartment,
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we will take legal action.
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Oh, no, I am scared like a girl.
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Well, you should be scared like girl.
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Just so happens, my
brother is the most feared,
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most dangerous real estate
attorney in all Los Angeles.
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That sounds like the worst TV show ever.
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I disagree. It could
be called Lethal Escrow.
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Guys.
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I fear nothing but
rejection from film festival.
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You don't have a leg to stand
on, Virgil. We have a lease.
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This is literally the worst
lease I've ever seen in my life.
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Uh, you mind if I make a copy of this?
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The boys at the office are gonna love it.
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There's got to be something in there
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that makes him responsible for the tree.
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No, but there's a hell
of a lot of other stuff.
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Like a 3:00 a.m. curfew
for any adult male cat.
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He gets Prima Nocta
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on any new showerheads.
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That's actually a good idea.
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There's something in here that
just says, "No Thanksgiving."
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Oh, in two years, everyone has to
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pitch in and take care
of Virgil's Uncle Gohar.
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Oh, I knew about Uncle Gohar.
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If we don't take care of the
older generation, who will?
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I can't believe you guys
dragged me into this.
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I had to rinse my hair
with bottled water.
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And, yes, we agree it looks fantastic,
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but it was really expensive.
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Josh, what can we do?
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I don't know, buy a
cheaper brand of water.
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About the lease.
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Cut a deal. It's your only option.
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Come on, guys, just say it.
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- I'm not doing it.
- Come on.
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Let's just say it so we can start.
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Virgil is the best landlord ever.
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All other landlords
will perish at his feet.
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Negotiations may begin.
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What'll it take for you
to get rid of our tree?
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And fix my water?
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I will fix all the problems if...
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Kelly and I switch apartments.
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- Done.
- Um, excuse me, no.
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My apartment is three
times the size of yours.
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- No, think of another option.
- Fine.
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If you three give up pig.
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Done.
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Virgil is the worst landlord ever,
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and I'm including Donald Sterling.
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You guys are getting
rid of that pig, right?
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You seriously expect us
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to kick a 300-pound pig out of our place
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when you can easily
move into an apartment
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that's one-third the size
of your current apartment?
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I know you guys love that pig.
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Don't you think it's
time to grow up a little?
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Whoa!
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Since when did you become the
security guard at Sunglass Hut?
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Terrance is really bossy,
and he talks down to me
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all the time, and I don't appreciate it.
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Bottom line is, we're not
giving up of James Franco.
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All right, well, I'm not
giving up my apartment.
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Here's the thing, though...
I can shower at the gym.
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You guys got to live with a
giant tree in your living room.
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Okay, I think you'd be surprised
by what we can live with.
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Oh, hey, Kelly.
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- Hey!
- Oh, hey!
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We're just chilling in our
perfectly livable apartment.
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Want me to cut you a seat?
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00:07:45,948 --> 00:07:48,215
Hey, Barry, could you
pass me the cream, please?
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00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:49,649
Oh, yeah. No problem.
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00:07:49,685 --> 00:07:52,385
You know, this tree is
the best thing that's ever
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00:07:52,421 --> 00:07:54,693
happened to us. You know,
we give it a couple days,
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we're gonna have syrup up in here.
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Ha, ha. Well done.
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00:07:57,693 --> 00:08:00,002
You guys are not fooling
me. I know this tree is
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00:08:00,027 --> 00:08:01,014
driving you nuts.
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00:08:01,038 --> 00:08:02,363
- What?
- Speaking of nuts,
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00:08:02,364 --> 00:08:03,760
there's a stash right here.
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00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,334
What was that, Rudy? What's up, Rudy?
210
00:08:07,369 --> 00:08:09,469
We're not fooling you.
We straight-up love the tree.
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00:08:09,504 --> 00:08:12,272
Oh, by the way, if you get
tired of showering at the gym,
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00:08:12,307 --> 00:08:14,975
it's gonna rain in, like, ten
minutes, so now no peeksies.
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00:08:15,010 --> 00:08:17,611
Okay. I can't believe I
almost kissed you again.
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00:08:20,182 --> 00:08:22,582
Anyone else think the tree sucks?
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00:08:22,618 --> 00:08:24,251
- Yes!
- It's the worst.
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00:08:24,286 --> 00:08:26,253
Okay, here's the plan. We're
gonna stash James Franco
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00:08:26,288 --> 00:08:28,255
somewhere safe until Virgil
comes to fix the apartment.
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00:08:28,290 --> 00:08:30,690
I love it, but where are
we gonna stash a giant pig?
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00:08:34,119 --> 00:08:36,469
Josh... the kid's asleep,
220
00:08:36,494 --> 00:08:38,765
and that's all it takes
to turn me on these days.
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00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:41,334
Come on. It's sex time.
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00:08:43,405 --> 00:08:44,838
Josh?!
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00:08:44,873 --> 00:08:47,307
- Yeah.
- Why is there a pig
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00:08:47,342 --> 00:08:48,808
- in our bed?
- Sweetie, you know
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00:08:48,844 --> 00:08:51,011
that the sheets in the guest
room are like sandpaper.
226
00:08:51,046 --> 00:08:52,345
Oh, by the way, do you mind
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00:08:52,381 --> 00:08:54,393
if we pork-sit Cooper's
pig for a few weeks?
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00:08:54,418 --> 00:08:56,549
- Get out!
- You heard her. Let's go.
229
00:08:56,574 --> 00:08:59,604
- It's sex time. Come on.
- No, not the pig. You. Get out!
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00:08:59,629 --> 00:09:01,121
Yeah, I get it.
231
00:09:02,391 --> 00:09:04,124
Okay.
232
00:09:04,159 --> 00:09:06,393
Yeah! Get her!
233
00:09:06,428 --> 00:09:08,962
How happy are you guys
to get rid of this thing?
234
00:09:08,997 --> 00:09:11,865
Honestly, I am so proud of
you guys for giving up James.
235
00:09:11,890 --> 00:09:13,700
Yeah, I know. It's sad, but we're making
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00:09:13,735 --> 00:09:16,202
an old woman in Oregon very happy.
237
00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:21,446
Stop! Stop!
238
00:09:21,471 --> 00:09:22,284
Sorry, guys.
239
00:09:22,309 --> 00:09:24,544
Leslie won't give me sex
with a pig in the room.
240
00:09:24,579 --> 00:09:25,979
It is what it is.
241
00:09:26,014 --> 00:09:29,149
I never fix tree, water, nothing!
242
00:09:29,174 --> 00:09:31,885
Dimitri, let's go listen Coldplay.
243
00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:33,920
Come on, Virgil, no. Please... wait.
244
00:09:33,955 --> 00:09:36,389
About the whole Oregon thing...
245
00:09:36,425 --> 00:09:38,191
Save it, okay? I have to go shower,
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00:09:38,226 --> 00:09:40,427
and Mrs. Pascal's sprinkler
turns on in two minutes.
247
00:09:40,462 --> 00:09:42,295
Well...
248
00:09:46,635 --> 00:09:48,329
You know what our problem is?
249
00:09:48,904 --> 00:09:50,670
We have no leverage over Virgil.
250
00:09:50,706 --> 00:09:52,887
So we have to start
making his life miserable
251
00:09:52,912 --> 00:09:54,541
till he agrees to our demands.
252
00:09:58,185 --> 00:09:59,605
Remember this? Ready?
253
00:10:02,784 --> 00:10:04,184
Yeah!
254
00:10:08,923 --> 00:10:11,090
Yeah!
255
00:10:29,311 --> 00:10:30,977
What the hell, Virgil?!
256
00:10:31,012 --> 00:10:33,244
We play some loud music,
and you shoot at us?!
257
00:10:33,269 --> 00:10:35,181
You missed me by three
inches! I could have died!
258
00:10:35,206 --> 00:10:36,125
This was supposed to be fun!
259
00:10:36,150 --> 00:10:37,820
You were supposed to turn
up our heat or something!
260
00:10:39,399 --> 00:10:41,032
Sorry to disturb you, sir.
261
00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:42,047
- Sorry.
- Never mind.
262
00:10:42,072 --> 00:10:44,090
You have a good night, okay? Bye.
263
00:10:53,869 --> 00:10:55,342
Guys?
264
00:10:56,709 --> 00:10:57,920
Guys?!
265
00:10:57,955 --> 00:10:59,233
Take Neal!
266
00:10:59,258 --> 00:11:00,157
Don't shoot!
267
00:11:00,182 --> 00:11:02,818
- What time is it?
- 2:00 in the afternoon.
268
00:11:03,094 --> 00:11:04,793
Rough night?
269
00:11:04,829 --> 00:11:06,729
Oh, you have no idea.
270
00:11:06,764 --> 00:11:08,868
Our CD/DVD tower is destroyed,
271
00:11:08,893 --> 00:11:10,985
Virgil's been shooting
at us, and Neal's stuck
272
00:11:11,010 --> 00:11:12,868
to the counter 'cause Barry
had maple syrup earlier.
273
00:11:12,893 --> 00:11:15,562
- Hey.
- Listen, guys, um, there's just...
274
00:11:15,598 --> 00:11:17,206
there-there's something
that I want to tell you.
275
00:11:17,241 --> 00:11:18,407
You feel bad about being difficult,
276
00:11:18,432 --> 00:11:20,555
and you want to make out right now.
277
00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:21,869
- No.
- It's cool.
278
00:11:21,894 --> 00:11:23,212
I'll just go brush my teeth.
279
00:11:23,247 --> 00:11:25,047
James Franco? Oh, my God,
280
00:11:25,082 --> 00:11:26,903
James Franco is gone! Virgil must have
281
00:11:26,928 --> 00:11:28,450
took him while we were sleeping.
282
00:11:28,475 --> 00:11:30,486
You know what? This is
it! He's gone too far.
283
00:11:30,521 --> 00:11:32,321
Really? This is worse
than shooting at us?
284
00:11:32,356 --> 00:11:33,889
Virgil didn't take your pig.
285
00:11:33,925 --> 00:11:35,424
Who did?
286
00:11:35,459 --> 00:11:36,992
I did.
287
00:11:37,028 --> 00:11:39,461
You... Aah! You monster!
288
00:11:41,507 --> 00:11:43,323
Where exactly did you take James Franco?
289
00:11:43,348 --> 00:11:44,792
To a place where he can live happily.
290
00:11:44,817 --> 00:11:46,604
Have you lost your freakin' mind?
291
00:11:46,629 --> 00:11:47,903
You didn't even pack any of his things!
292
00:11:47,928 --> 00:11:48,980
What things?!
293
00:11:49,015 --> 00:11:52,955
His smartphone, his little work
boots, his shiny sunglasses,
294
00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:54,095
underwear,
295
00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:55,955
backpack, milk,
296
00:11:55,980 --> 00:11:57,079
"I Don't Eat Bacon" sticker
297
00:11:57,108 --> 00:11:58,440
for the back of his ass.
298
00:11:58,476 --> 00:11:59,808
I can't believe you would
299
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:01,921
resort to this just to have
your water turned back on.
300
00:12:01,946 --> 00:12:04,847
No, this isn't about my
water. It's about you guys.
301
00:12:04,882 --> 00:12:07,449
You've put up with giant trees
302
00:12:07,485 --> 00:12:10,018
and people shooting at
you through the floor
303
00:12:10,054 --> 00:12:11,987
because you're not mature
enough to give up a pig
304
00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:13,689
who was never meant to live indoors?
305
00:12:13,724 --> 00:12:16,291
You take that back. This
is his dream apartment!
306
00:12:16,327 --> 00:12:17,526
Okay, we're gonna go get him.
307
00:12:17,561 --> 00:12:19,294
Take us to whatever
hellhole you brought him to.
308
00:12:21,799 --> 00:12:23,866
This is no place for an animal.
309
00:12:23,901 --> 00:12:26,436
Look, James Franco is enjoying
310
00:12:26,461 --> 00:12:28,337
his own personal hot tub.
311
00:12:28,372 --> 00:12:31,273
Tonight, he'll dine on
the finest of organic slop
312
00:12:31,308 --> 00:12:33,126
while enjoying the
company of other animals.
313
00:12:33,151 --> 00:12:35,477
What about people? James
Franco likes people!
314
00:12:35,513 --> 00:12:36,545
Like that?
315
00:12:36,580 --> 00:12:38,280
Okay, you know what? That's it.
316
00:12:38,315 --> 00:12:39,417
We're getting him out of here.
317
00:12:39,442 --> 00:12:41,717
I'm gonna get the truck.
Neal, knock over these kids.
318
00:12:41,752 --> 00:12:42,749
Great. I'm on it.
319
00:12:42,774 --> 00:12:44,964
- Guys, guys, guys, look at him.
- Neal!
320
00:12:44,989 --> 00:12:46,722
She's right. He's...
321
00:12:46,757 --> 00:12:48,724
glowing.
322
00:12:48,759 --> 00:12:51,860
Maybe it's the right place for him.
323
00:12:56,934 --> 00:12:59,368
I'll never let go!
324
00:13:04,601 --> 00:13:06,271
_
325
00:13:06,296 --> 00:13:07,576
Pretty different, right?
326
00:13:07,611 --> 00:13:11,130
I mean, it looks like actual
human beings live here.
327
00:13:11,155 --> 00:13:13,982
And, oh, my God, is this a houseplant?
328
00:13:14,018 --> 00:13:15,165
We got kind of used to the tree
329
00:13:15,190 --> 00:13:17,259
and figured this was a happy medium.
330
00:13:17,284 --> 00:13:19,609
Anne Hathaway, meet Kelly.
Kelly, Anne Hathaway.
331
00:13:19,634 --> 00:13:23,564
Cooper Barrett, seriously, I'm impressed.
332
00:13:23,589 --> 00:13:25,168
I'm impressed.
333
00:13:26,316 --> 00:13:29,066
This place is all grown up.
334
00:13:30,201 --> 00:13:31,700
Barry or Neal here?
335
00:13:31,735 --> 00:13:34,323
Uh, it's Thursday, so right now,
336
00:13:34,348 --> 00:13:36,326
they're out hunting
for the Zodiac Killer.
337
00:13:36,351 --> 00:13:37,517
Why'd you ask?
338
00:13:41,812 --> 00:13:44,060
Uh, look, Kelly, I'm sorry.
339
00:13:44,085 --> 00:13:45,547
I just don't feel like myself right now.
340
00:13:45,572 --> 00:13:47,715
- Please tell me this is not about the pig.
- It's about the pig.
341
00:13:47,751 --> 00:13:49,685
- I don't get it.
- That's 'cause you're a heartless monster.
342
00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:52,221
Explain to me, what is so
important about James Franco.
343
00:13:52,256 --> 00:13:54,690
The first night we spent in
this apartment, we woke up
344
00:13:54,725 --> 00:13:57,596
and he was here, and he's been
with us every moment since.
345
00:13:57,621 --> 00:13:59,564
I mean, the birthdays,
346
00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:01,829
the Super Bowl, those couple of months
347
00:14:01,854 --> 00:14:03,065
we were friends with Topher Grace.
348
00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:04,299
I thought we weren't
gonna talk about that.
349
00:14:04,335 --> 00:14:06,301
Look, I know the petting
zoo is a better place for him
350
00:14:06,337 --> 00:14:07,469
and we all have to grow up,
351
00:14:07,504 --> 00:14:10,205
but with James gone, it's...
352
00:14:10,241 --> 00:14:12,908
it's kind of a reminder
it's happening really fast.
353
00:14:22,186 --> 00:14:23,485
Hey.
354
00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:25,020
I need a pig back.
355
00:14:25,055 --> 00:14:26,688
Uh, what's it look like?
356
00:14:26,724 --> 00:14:30,959
Uh, well, he's got a
long, white, silky mane.
357
00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:33,295
It's got a big, giant horn
sticking out of his head.
358
00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:34,459
What do you mean, "What
does he look like?"
359
00:14:34,484 --> 00:14:36,642
He's a giant pig named James Franco.
360
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:38,634
Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
361
00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:41,637
It's my friends' pig, and-and
I only just now realized
362
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:44,907
how much it means to
them, so... I need it back.
363
00:14:44,942 --> 00:14:46,341
They need it back.
364
00:14:46,377 --> 00:14:48,677
- He's gone.
- Wait, what?
365
00:14:48,712 --> 00:14:52,214
A pig like him was never
meant for a petting zoo.
366
00:14:52,249 --> 00:14:54,449
All he wanted to do was
lay around and watch TV.
367
00:14:54,485 --> 00:14:56,285
Keeping him here just seemed cruel.
368
00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:57,486
Well, where did you send him?
369
00:14:57,521 --> 00:14:58,854
A slaughterhouse.
370
00:15:06,501 --> 00:15:08,844
I'm gonna say this... I miss the tree.
371
00:15:08,869 --> 00:15:11,008
- Yes! Thank you.
- Yeah.
372
00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:12,664
Barry!
373
00:15:12,689 --> 00:15:14,715
Were you eating pancakes on the sofa?
374
00:15:14,778 --> 00:15:15,996
Yeah, why?
375
00:15:16,021 --> 00:15:18,457
Hey, Barry. Hey, guys. Good, good.
376
00:15:18,482 --> 00:15:20,309
Listen, I have some bad news.
377
00:15:20,334 --> 00:15:22,965
Uh, but it's better news
than, say, that missing plane.
378
00:15:23,220 --> 00:15:24,538
Remember that?
379
00:15:25,031 --> 00:15:26,264
That plane's actually still missing.
380
00:15:26,299 --> 00:15:28,900
Kelly, what happened?
381
00:15:30,804 --> 00:15:32,837
Can't you drive any faster?
382
00:15:32,872 --> 00:15:35,376
What's the point? He's probably
bacon or sausage by now.
383
00:15:35,401 --> 00:15:37,742
Hey, that's our pig you're talking about!
384
00:15:37,768 --> 00:15:39,182
You think we could
stop at a drive-through?
385
00:15:39,215 --> 00:15:40,165
Look, the zoo manager
386
00:15:40,190 --> 00:15:42,180
told Kelly James Franco was
picked up just an hour ago.
387
00:15:42,222 --> 00:15:44,442
So we get to Westfield
Meats, and we stop it.
388
00:15:44,467 --> 00:15:45,950
'Cause that's what we do.
We have each other's backs.
389
00:15:45,985 --> 00:15:47,785
Right! And we don't assign blame
390
00:15:47,810 --> 00:15:50,043
and we don't focus on
who might have caused
391
00:15:50,068 --> 00:15:52,714
- a particular problem.
- Did you say "Westfield Meats"?
392
00:15:55,442 --> 00:15:57,642
Josh, turn around! Slow down!
393
00:15:57,677 --> 00:15:59,544
I'm slowing down.
394
00:16:04,198 --> 00:16:07,066
Whew! I feel like a
badass getaway driver.
395
00:16:07,101 --> 00:16:09,101
- Stay in the minivan.
- Feeling gone.
396
00:16:09,137 --> 00:16:11,059
Okay, Barry, Neal, you
distract the truck driver.
397
00:16:11,084 --> 00:16:12,813
Cooper, you're with me. Come on.
398
00:16:15,376 --> 00:16:16,709
Hey, buddy.
399
00:16:16,744 --> 00:16:18,110
Here to bust you out.
400
00:16:20,715 --> 00:16:21,780
Better hurry up.
401
00:16:21,816 --> 00:16:23,048
The trucker's already paid.
402
00:16:23,073 --> 00:16:24,848
Okay.
403
00:16:24,873 --> 00:16:27,489
Hey there, fellow trucker!
404
00:16:27,514 --> 00:16:29,098
How's the road treating you?
405
00:16:29,123 --> 00:16:30,890
Uh, can't complain.
406
00:16:30,925 --> 00:16:33,225
Every day's a good day
when it's not raining.
407
00:16:35,073 --> 00:16:36,173
I hear that.
408
00:16:36,939 --> 00:16:38,376
That's not how you do it.
409
00:16:38,401 --> 00:16:39,921
- Then how do you do it?!
- I don't know.
410
00:16:39,946 --> 00:16:41,586
Leslie usually handles
this kind of stuff.
411
00:16:41,717 --> 00:16:43,717
There's nothing us truckers
hate more than the rain.
412
00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:45,186
You got that right, pal.
413
00:16:45,221 --> 00:16:46,620
Except maybe those who deny
414
00:16:46,656 --> 00:16:48,189
that Israel is a sovereign nation
415
00:16:48,224 --> 00:16:49,590
with the right to defend itself.
416
00:16:51,828 --> 00:16:52,850
Great.
417
00:16:53,229 --> 00:16:55,029
Start the car!
418
00:16:57,333 --> 00:16:59,022
- We got to go!
- What happened?!
419
00:16:59,047 --> 00:17:00,490
He started talking politics!
420
00:17:08,211 --> 00:17:10,644
Josh, we're set.
421
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:11,680
Yeah.
422
00:17:13,082 --> 00:17:14,380
Whoa, whoa, whoa! No! Josh!
423
00:17:14,405 --> 00:17:15,804
Josh!
424
00:17:22,030 --> 00:17:24,779
- I don't think he's following us.
- Yeah, we did it!
425
00:17:25,299 --> 00:17:27,166
I hate to put a damper on things, guys,
426
00:17:27,201 --> 00:17:29,368
but where are Cooper and/or Kelly?
427
00:17:31,039 --> 00:17:33,105
And where's the trailer?
428
00:17:33,151 --> 00:17:34,650
Hey!
429
00:17:34,675 --> 00:17:36,109
- Hey!
- Hey!
430
00:17:37,495 --> 00:17:38,921
- What are you doing?!
- What are you doing?!
431
00:17:38,948 --> 00:17:40,448
We got James Franco!
432
00:17:40,481 --> 00:17:42,451
- Slow down, Josh! Slow down!
- Help! Help!
433
00:17:42,655 --> 00:17:43,796
Help!
434
00:17:48,322 --> 00:17:50,122
We're gonna die, aren't we?!
435
00:17:50,158 --> 00:17:52,024
Probably, yeah!
436
00:17:52,060 --> 00:17:54,860
And all to get back a pig our
landlord won't even let us have.
437
00:17:54,896 --> 00:17:57,196
No, he will. I agreed to
change apartments with him
438
00:17:57,231 --> 00:17:59,643
after I realized how
much the pig meant to you.
439
00:17:59,893 --> 00:18:03,610
That is the sweetest thing
anyone has ever done for me!
440
00:18:05,534 --> 00:18:07,074
- Truck!
- Truck!
441
00:18:09,544 --> 00:18:12,144
Dr. Levy, pick up line two.
442
00:18:12,180 --> 00:18:14,319
Dr. Levy, pick up line two.
443
00:18:16,684 --> 00:18:17,950
How is she?
444
00:18:17,985 --> 00:18:19,652
She's in recovery but stable.
445
00:18:19,687 --> 00:18:20,886
- Can we see her?
- Mm-hmm.
446
00:18:20,922 --> 00:18:21,922
Thank you.
447
00:18:31,199 --> 00:18:33,440
I told you James Franco
was getting freaky
448
00:18:33,465 --> 00:18:35,354
on those little pig playdates.
449
00:18:35,379 --> 00:18:37,169
Aw, James Franco's a mom.
450
00:18:37,194 --> 00:18:39,791
- I never thought I'd live to see this.
- Well, you wouldn't have
451
00:18:39,816 --> 00:18:42,598
if that truck driver hadn't
had such good reflexes.
452
00:18:42,623 --> 00:18:45,518
Question: why did you
name her James Franco
453
00:18:45,543 --> 00:18:47,002
if you knew that she was a girl?
454
00:18:47,027 --> 00:18:48,414
Couldn't tell the sex when we found her,
455
00:18:48,449 --> 00:18:51,276
and James Franco the actor
was killing it back then.
456
00:18:51,301 --> 00:18:53,651
Yeah. Spider-Man, Spider-Man 2
457
00:18:53,676 --> 00:18:56,021
and Tristan and Isolde.
Are you kidding me?
458
00:18:56,057 --> 00:18:59,136
Well, anyway, I now so
see why you kept James
459
00:18:59,161 --> 00:19:00,693
that first night. I don't know how anyone
460
00:19:00,728 --> 00:19:03,295
could be miserable
holding this little guy.
461
00:19:06,300 --> 00:19:08,033
I have an idea.
462
00:19:09,737 --> 00:19:12,538
Now I have found a reason to live.
463
00:19:12,573 --> 00:19:14,406
So Kelly can keep her apartment?
464
00:19:14,442 --> 00:19:16,008
Yes, she keeps.
465
00:19:16,043 --> 00:19:18,598
Now leave before I shoot you.
466
00:19:19,647 --> 00:19:23,375
Mmm, Elsa. Elsa, give Virgil a kiss.
467
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:24,798
Give Virgil a kiss.
468
00:19:25,525 --> 00:19:27,720
So what have we learned?
469
00:19:27,755 --> 00:19:29,788
Well, always read your lease;
470
00:19:29,824 --> 00:19:32,291
a tree can really open up a room;
471
00:19:32,326 --> 00:19:35,127
and even the meanest,
most psychotic landlord
472
00:19:35,163 --> 00:19:36,896
can have a soft side.
473
00:19:39,734 --> 00:19:41,267
Hey.
474
00:19:41,302 --> 00:19:43,602
I just spoke to Virgil.
Thank you so much.
475
00:19:43,638 --> 00:19:45,137
Oh, thank you.
476
00:19:45,162 --> 00:19:47,262
I have my pig back, and
the place looks great.
477
00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:48,368
Yeah.
478
00:19:49,538 --> 00:19:53,327
- So, about that kiss...
- Smooth segue.
479
00:19:53,328 --> 00:19:55,295
I know what you're gonna
say, and I totally agree.
480
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:56,882
There's been way too much buildup.
481
00:19:56,918 --> 00:19:58,834
Yeah. Exactly. I mean, we've
been talking about it for weeks.
482
00:19:58,859 --> 00:20:01,287
I just feel like the moment's passed.
483
00:20:01,322 --> 00:20:03,358
Yeah. 100% agree. We're on the same page.
484
00:20:03,383 --> 00:20:05,124
All right. Well, thanks
again for talking to Virgil.
485
00:20:05,150 --> 00:20:06,224
You're a really good friend.
486
00:20:06,258 --> 00:20:07,927
I'd do anything for you, buddy.
487
00:20:07,962 --> 00:20:09,280
Okay.
488
00:20:09,305 --> 00:20:10,288
All right.
489
00:20:10,313 --> 00:20:12,898
Well, see you later, pal.
490
00:20:12,934 --> 00:20:14,166
See you later.
491
00:20:33,211 --> 00:20:34,687
Magic's totally gone, right?
492
00:20:34,722 --> 00:20:36,721
Yeah. Totally. That kiss was just, uh...
493
00:20:37,276 --> 00:20:39,409
- Cool.
- Okay.
494
00:20:59,547 --> 00:21:00,846
Josh!
495
00:21:00,881 --> 00:21:01,914
Yeah.
496
00:21:03,251 --> 00:21:05,184
Guys, not on the pillow.
497
00:21:05,219 --> 00:21:06,552
You're never getting laid again.
498
00:21:06,587 --> 00:21:08,320
Come on, guys.
499
00:21:09,663 --> 00:21:14,663
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