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Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
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♪ ♪
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When you're in your 20s,
disputes with your landlord
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can land you in some pretty
compromising situations!
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My contacts are fusing to my eyeballs!
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Also, we're gonna die, aren't we?!
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Probably, yeah!
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(truck horn blaring, both screaming)
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My name is Cooper Barrett.
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My friends and I are
here to mess up our lives
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so you don't have to.
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_
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I know I've said this before,
but I mean it this time...
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- no more tequila, ever.
- _
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What? No.
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But tequila makes you break dance
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and talk in a bad British accent.
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(British accent): My
accent is bloody brilliant.
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I could literally talk like this all day.
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(laughing): That's not even close.
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Okay, well, good night...
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pal.
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Yeah. See you tomorrow...
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buddy.
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Quick question: How
are we gonna deal with
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the incredible amount of
sexual tension between us?
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We are going to ignore it.
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Can you just admit that the kiss we had
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at the Clippers game was unbelievable.
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I've never been to a Clippers game.
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Fine.
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We don't have to talk about it.
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All right, fine, I admit it.
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The kiss was amazing.
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I'm just scared that if we try it again,
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that same magic's not gonna be there.
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Sure. It's like watching The
Goonies again when you're 20.
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Right, I don't know what that means.
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But I think,
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instead of trying to recreate it,
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we should just be
grateful for that moment
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and move on.
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Or...
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Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.
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Wow, this is really happening, huh?
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Feels so right.
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(gasps) Oh. Something's touching my leg.
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I feel like it's less
romantic if we call it out.
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God, no.
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It's your stupid pet pig, James Franco.
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You guys treat him like a human being.
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We know he's an animal, all right?
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Brush your teeth, James
Franco, or no Fallon!
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Come on.
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Now...
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where were we?
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BARRY: I know I've said this before,
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but I mean it this time.
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Vodka is delicious.
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(whispers): Barry, code
black! I repeat, code black!
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BARRY: But code black
means that Cooper and Kelly
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are about to have se... (gasps)
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...gregated washrooms.
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Saved it.
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What's up, guys? What's crack-a-lacking?
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- Go away.
- That's a weird code.
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Go to the room, use the bathroom.
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All right, now...
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where were we?
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Is something wrong?
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Yes! It's the pig, two roommates,
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one functioning wall outlet
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and a giant patch of
black mold on the ceiling.
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Oh, that's not black mold...
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we had an electrical fire.
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Which killed the black mold.
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Cooper, this apartment
is killing my lady boner.
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- What?
- I think you need to call Virgil
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- and get some repairs.
- Absolutely not.
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I mean, sure, he's not the best landlord,
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but our rent is cheap and
he lets us keep James Franco,
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so I'm not gonna rock the
boat over some minor repairs.
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Now...
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- (loud crackling)
- (gasps)
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(both scream)
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(coughing)
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(car alarms wailing outside)
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Now, where were we?
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(TV playing quietly)
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(Virgil humming softly)
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(knocking on door)
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What?
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- COOPER: Hey, Virgil.
- Hi.
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How's everyone's favorite landlord?
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I'm not here.
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Okay, well, when you are here,
can you leave you a message?
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Hey, Virgil, there's something
wrong with our apartment,
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and we'd really appreciate it
if you just came down and...
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Hey, are those my headphones?
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No proof.
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They say "Neal" on the side.
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I had them custom made,
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but the package never got delivered.
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"Neal" is foreign brand. Very big.
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- Is that my shirt?
- Lies.
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Oh, hold on. Lies, my ass, okay?
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It's three sizes too big
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and it has the face of Santa Claus on it.
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NEAL: That's Frederick Douglass.
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BARRY: The face of Frederick Douglass.
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I wear as a nightgown.
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Look, look, Virgil, a giant tree
just fell into our apartment.
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Okay.
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What tree?
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This gigantic tree was
not here when we moved in.
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This is two bedroom, one tree, always.
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Well, in that case, that's on us.
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Look, are you gonna fix
the apartment or not?
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How do I know you did
not put tree here, hmm?
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Uh, because if we put a tree
in here, it would be oak,
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not this tacky pine.
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Oh, come on, I know you kids
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and your parties with your trees.
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Perverts.
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This is exactly why
everyone in the building
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thinks you're a horrible landlord.
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Who else thinks bad of Virgil, hmm?
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Nobody.
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Was it Kelly?
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- BARRY & NEAL: Yes.
- Yes, it was Kelly. That is correct
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- (growling)
- BARRY: Yep, you're right on the nose.
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KELLY: ♪ Don't you do something ♪
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♪ Just keep something, something ♪
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♪ I said, "Something, something" ♪
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♪ She said, "Shut up
and dance with me!" ♪
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Hey!
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If you refuse to fix our apartment,
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we will take legal action.
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(high-pitched): Oh, no,
I am scared like a girl.
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Well, you should be scared like girl.
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Just so happens, my
brother is the most feared,
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most dangerous real estate
attorney in all Los Angeles.
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That sounds like the worst TV show ever.
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I disagree. It could
be called Lethal Escrow.
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Guys.
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I fear nothing but
rejection from film festival.
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You don't have a leg to stand
on, Virgil. We have a lease.
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(Josh laughs)
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This is literally the worst
lease I've ever seen in my life.
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Uh, you mind if I make a copy of this?
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The boys at the office are gonna love it.
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There's got to be something in there
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that makes him responsible for the tree.
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No, but there's a hell
of a lot of other stuff.
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Like a 3:00 a.m. curfew
for any adult male cat.
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(laughs) He gets Prima Nocta
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on any new showerheads.
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That's actually a good idea.
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There's something in here that
just says, "No Thanksgiving."
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Oh, in two years, everyone has to
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pitch in and take care
of Virgil's Uncle Gohar.
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Oh, I knew about Uncle Gohar.
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If we don't take care of the
older generation, who will?
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I can't believe you guys
dragged me into this.
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I had to rinse my hair
with bottled water.
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And, yes, we agree it looks fantastic,
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but it was really expensive.
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Josh, what can we do?
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I don't know, buy a
cheaper brand of water.
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About the lease.
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Cut a deal. It's your only option.
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(all arguing) Come on, guys, just say it.
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- BARRY: I'm not doing it.
- Come on.
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Let's just say it so we can start.
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(all sighing)
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ALL: Virgil is the best landlord ever.
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All other landlords
will perish at his feet.
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Negotiations may begin.
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What'll it take for you
to get rid of our tree?
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And fix my water?
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I will fix all the problems if...
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Kelly and I switch apartments.
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- NEAL, COOPER, BARRY: Done.
- Um, excuse me, no.
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My apartment is three
times the size of yours.
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- No, think of another option.
- VIRGIL: Fine.
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If you three give up pig.
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Done.
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(snorting softly)
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Virgil is the worst landlord ever,
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and I'm including Donald Sterling.
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You guys are getting
rid of that pig, right?
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You seriously expect us
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to kick a 300-pound pig out of our place
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when you can easily
move into an apartment
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that's one-third the size
of your current apartment?
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I know you guys love that pig.
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Don't you think it's
time to grow up a little?
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NEAL: Whoa!
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Since when did you become the
security guard at Sunglass Hut?
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Terrance is really bossy,
and he talks down to me
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00:07:19,029 --> 00:07:20,629
all the time, and I don't appreciate it.
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Bottom line is, we're not
giving up of James Franco.
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00:07:22,733 --> 00:07:25,500
All right, well, I'm not
giving up my apartment.
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Here's the thing, though...
I can shower at the gym.
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You guys got to live with a
giant tree in your living room.
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00:07:31,375 --> 00:07:33,963
Okay, I think you'd be surprised
by what we can live with.
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00:07:34,003 --> 00:07:35,502
(Barry chuckles)
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00:07:35,537 --> 00:07:37,137
(snorting)
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00:07:38,774 --> 00:07:40,007
Oh, hey, Kelly.
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00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:42,142
- Hey!
- Oh, hey!
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00:07:42,177 --> 00:07:44,356
COOPER: We're just chilling in
our perfectly livable apartment.
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00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:45,612
Want me to cut you a seat?
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00:07:45,648 --> 00:07:47,915
Hey, Barry, could you
pass me the cream, please?
214
00:07:47,950 --> 00:07:49,349
Oh, yeah. No problem.
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00:07:49,385 --> 00:07:52,085
You know, this tree is
the best thing that's ever
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00:07:52,121 --> 00:07:54,393
happened to us. You know,
we give it a couple days,
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00:07:54,418 --> 00:07:55,690
we're gonna have syrup up in here.
218
00:07:55,715 --> 00:07:57,392
Ha, ha. Well done.
219
00:07:57,393 --> 00:07:59,702
You guys are not fooling
me. I know this tree is
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00:07:59,727 --> 00:08:00,714
driving you nuts.
221
00:08:00,738 --> 00:08:02,063
- What?
- BARRY: Speaking of nuts,
222
00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:03,460
there's a stash right here.
223
00:08:03,485 --> 00:08:04,665
(chittering)
224
00:08:04,700 --> 00:08:07,034
What was that, Rudy? What's up, Rudy?
225
00:08:07,069 --> 00:08:09,169
We're not fooling you.
We straight-up love the tree.
226
00:08:09,204 --> 00:08:11,972
Oh, by the way, if you get
tired of showering at the gym,
227
00:08:12,007 --> 00:08:14,675
it's gonna rain in, like, ten
minutes, so now no peeksies.
228
00:08:14,710 --> 00:08:17,311
Okay. I can't believe I
almost kissed you again.
229
00:08:19,882 --> 00:08:22,282
Anyone else think the tree sucks?
230
00:08:22,318 --> 00:08:23,951
- Yes!
- It's the worst.
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00:08:23,986 --> 00:08:25,953
Okay, here's the plan. We're
gonna stash James Franco
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00:08:25,988 --> 00:08:27,955
somewhere safe until Virgil
comes to fix the apartment.
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00:08:27,990 --> 00:08:30,390
I love it, but where are
we gonna stash a giant pig?
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(snorting)
235
00:08:33,819 --> 00:08:36,169
Josh... the kid's asleep,
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and that's all it takes
to turn me on these days.
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Come on. It's sex time.
238
00:08:41,070 --> 00:08:43,070
(screaming)
239
00:08:43,105 --> 00:08:44,538
Josh?!
240
00:08:44,573 --> 00:08:47,007
- Yeah.
- Why is there a pig
241
00:08:47,042 --> 00:08:48,508
- in our bed?
- Sweetie, you know
242
00:08:48,544 --> 00:08:50,711
that the sheets in the guest
room are like sandpaper.
243
00:08:50,746 --> 00:08:52,045
Oh, by the way, do you mind
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00:08:52,081 --> 00:08:54,093
if we pork-sit Cooper's
pig for a few weeks?
245
00:08:54,118 --> 00:08:56,249
- Get out!
- You heard her. Let's go.
246
00:08:56,274 --> 00:08:59,304
- It's sex time. Come on.
- No, not the pig. You. Get out!
247
00:08:59,329 --> 00:09:00,821
Yeah, I get it.
248
00:09:00,856 --> 00:09:02,055
(buzzing)
249
00:09:02,091 --> 00:09:03,824
Okay.
250
00:09:03,859 --> 00:09:06,093
Yeah! Get her!
251
00:09:06,128 --> 00:09:08,662
How happy are you guys
to get rid of this thing?
252
00:09:08,697 --> 00:09:11,565
Honestly, I am so proud of
you guys for giving up James.
253
00:09:11,590 --> 00:09:13,400
COOPER: Yeah, I know.
It's sad, but we're making
254
00:09:13,435 --> 00:09:15,902
an old woman in Oregon very happy.
255
00:09:19,580 --> 00:09:21,146
Stop! Stop!
256
00:09:21,171 --> 00:09:21,984
JOSH: Sorry, guys.
257
00:09:22,009 --> 00:09:24,244
Leslie won't give me sex
with a pig in the room.
258
00:09:24,279 --> 00:09:25,679
It is what it is.
259
00:09:25,714 --> 00:09:28,849
I never fix tree, water, nothing!
260
00:09:28,874 --> 00:09:31,585
Dimitri, let's go listen Coldplay.
261
00:09:31,620 --> 00:09:33,620
Come on, Virgil, no. Please... wait.
262
00:09:33,655 --> 00:09:36,089
- (sighs)
- About the whole Oregon thing...
263
00:09:36,125 --> 00:09:37,891
Save it, okay? I have to go shower,
264
00:09:37,926 --> 00:09:40,127
and Mrs. Pascal's sprinkler
turns on in two minutes.
265
00:09:40,162 --> 00:09:41,995
Well...
266
00:09:46,335 --> 00:09:48,029
You know what our problem is?
267
00:09:48,604 --> 00:09:50,370
We have no leverage over Virgil.
268
00:09:50,406 --> 00:09:52,587
So we have to start
making his life miserable
269
00:09:52,612 --> 00:09:54,241
till he agrees to our demands.
270
00:09:54,276 --> 00:09:56,576
(guitar tuning, speakers humming)
271
00:09:57,885 --> 00:09:59,305
NEAL: Remember this? Ready?
272
00:09:59,330 --> 00:10:01,048
(rock music playing loudly)
273
00:10:01,083 --> 00:10:02,449
(whooping)
274
00:10:02,484 --> 00:10:03,884
Yeah!
275
00:10:03,919 --> 00:10:05,919
(rock music playing loudly)
276
00:10:08,623 --> 00:10:10,790
NEAL: Yeah!
277
00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:25,939
(music stops, speaker hums)
278
00:10:29,011 --> 00:10:30,677
What the hell, Virgil?!
279
00:10:30,712 --> 00:10:32,944
We play some loud music,
and you shoot at us?!
280
00:10:32,969 --> 00:10:34,881
You missed me by three
inches! I could have died!
281
00:10:34,906 --> 00:10:35,825
This was supposed to be fun!
282
00:10:35,850 --> 00:10:37,520
You were supposed to turn
up our heat or something!
283
00:10:37,630 --> 00:10:38,794
(gun cocks)
284
00:10:39,099 --> 00:10:40,732
Sorry to disturb you, sir.
285
00:10:40,757 --> 00:10:41,747
- Sorry.
- Never mind.
286
00:10:41,772 --> 00:10:43,790
You have a good night, okay? Bye.
287
00:10:48,964 --> 00:10:50,897
(snoring)
288
00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:55,042
Guys?
289
00:10:56,409 --> 00:10:57,620
Guys?!
290
00:10:57,655 --> 00:10:58,933
(yells) Take Neal!
291
00:10:58,958 --> 00:10:59,857
Don't shoot!
292
00:10:59,882 --> 00:11:02,518
- What time is it?
- 2:00 in the afternoon.
293
00:11:02,794 --> 00:11:04,493
Rough night?
294
00:11:04,529 --> 00:11:06,429
Oh, you have no idea.
295
00:11:06,464 --> 00:11:08,568
Our CD/DVD tower is destroyed,
296
00:11:08,593 --> 00:11:10,685
Virgil's been shooting
at us, and Neal's stuck
297
00:11:10,710 --> 00:11:12,568
to the counter 'cause Barry
had maple syrup earlier.
298
00:11:12,593 --> 00:11:15,262
- Hey.
- Listen, guys, um, there's just...
299
00:11:15,298 --> 00:11:16,906
there-there's something
that I want to tell you.
300
00:11:16,941 --> 00:11:18,107
You feel bad about being difficult,
301
00:11:18,132 --> 00:11:20,255
and you want to make out right now.
302
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:21,569
- No.
- It's cool.
303
00:11:21,594 --> 00:11:22,912
I'll just go brush my teeth.
304
00:11:22,947 --> 00:11:24,747
BARRY: James Franco? Oh, my God,
305
00:11:24,782 --> 00:11:26,603
James Franco is gone! Virgil must have
306
00:11:26,628 --> 00:11:28,150
took him while we were sleeping.
307
00:11:28,175 --> 00:11:30,186
You know what? This is
it! He's gone too far.
308
00:11:30,221 --> 00:11:32,021
Really? This is worse
than shooting at us?
309
00:11:32,056 --> 00:11:33,589
Virgil didn't take your pig.
310
00:11:33,625 --> 00:11:35,124
Who did?
311
00:11:35,159 --> 00:11:36,692
I did.
312
00:11:36,728 --> 00:11:39,161
You... Aah! You monster! (groans)
313
00:11:41,207 --> 00:11:43,023
Where exactly did you take James Franco?
314
00:11:43,048 --> 00:11:44,492
To a place where he can live happily.
315
00:11:44,517 --> 00:11:46,304
Have you lost your freakin' mind?
316
00:11:46,329 --> 00:11:47,603
You didn't even pack any of his things!
317
00:11:47,628 --> 00:11:48,680
What things?!
318
00:11:48,715 --> 00:11:52,655
His smartphone, his little work
boots, his shiny sunglasses,
319
00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:53,795
underwear,
320
00:11:53,820 --> 00:11:55,655
backpack, milk,
321
00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:56,779
"I Don't Eat Bacon" sticker
322
00:11:56,808 --> 00:11:58,140
for the back of his ass.
323
00:11:58,176 --> 00:11:59,508
COOPER: I can't believe you would
324
00:11:59,544 --> 00:12:01,621
resort to this just to have
your water turned back on.
325
00:12:01,646 --> 00:12:04,547
No, this isn't about my
water. It's about you guys.
326
00:12:04,582 --> 00:12:07,149
You've put up with giant trees
327
00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:09,718
and people shooting at
you through the floor
328
00:12:09,754 --> 00:12:11,687
because you're not mature
enough to give up a pig
329
00:12:11,722 --> 00:12:13,389
who was never meant to live indoors?
330
00:12:13,424 --> 00:12:15,991
You take that back. This
is his dream apartment!
331
00:12:16,027 --> 00:12:17,226
Okay, we're gonna go get him.
332
00:12:17,261 --> 00:12:18,994
Take us to whatever
hellhole you brought him to.
333
00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:21,464
(goats bleating)
334
00:12:21,499 --> 00:12:23,566
This is no place for an animal.
335
00:12:23,601 --> 00:12:26,136
Look, James Franco is enjoying
336
00:12:26,161 --> 00:12:28,037
his own personal hot tub.
337
00:12:28,072 --> 00:12:30,973
Tonight, he'll dine on
the finest of organic slop
338
00:12:31,008 --> 00:12:32,826
while enjoying the
company of other animals.
339
00:12:32,851 --> 00:12:35,177
What about people? James
Franco likes people!
340
00:12:35,213 --> 00:12:36,245
Like that?
341
00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:37,980
BARRY: Okay, you know what? That's it.
342
00:12:38,015 --> 00:12:39,117
We're getting him out of here.
343
00:12:39,142 --> 00:12:41,417
I'm gonna get the truck.
Neal, knock over these kids.
344
00:12:41,452 --> 00:12:42,449
Great. I'm on it.
345
00:12:42,474 --> 00:12:44,664
- Guys, guys, guys, look at him.
- Neal!
346
00:12:44,689 --> 00:12:46,422
She's right. He's...
347
00:12:46,457 --> 00:12:48,424
glowing.
348
00:12:48,459 --> 00:12:51,560
Maybe it's the right place for him.
349
00:12:56,634 --> 00:12:59,068
(screams) I'll never let go!
350
00:13:00,762 --> 00:13:03,196
(sobbing)
351
00:13:04,301 --> 00:13:05,971
_
352
00:13:05,996 --> 00:13:07,276
Pretty different, right?
353
00:13:07,311 --> 00:13:10,830
I mean, it looks like actual
human beings live here.
354
00:13:10,855 --> 00:13:13,682
And, oh, my God, is this a houseplant?
355
00:13:13,718 --> 00:13:14,865
We got kind of used to the tree
356
00:13:14,890 --> 00:13:16,959
and figured this was a happy medium.
357
00:13:16,984 --> 00:13:19,309
Anne Hathaway, meet Kelly.
Kelly, Anne Hathaway.
358
00:13:19,334 --> 00:13:23,264
Cooper Barrett, seriously, I'm impressed.
359
00:13:23,289 --> 00:13:24,868
I'm impressed.
360
00:13:26,016 --> 00:13:28,766
This place is all grown up.
361
00:13:29,901 --> 00:13:31,400
Barry or Neal here?
362
00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:34,023
Uh, it's Thursday, so right now,
363
00:13:34,048 --> 00:13:36,026
they're out hunting
for the Zodiac Killer.
364
00:13:36,051 --> 00:13:37,217
Why'd you ask?
365
00:13:41,512 --> 00:13:43,760
Uh, look, Kelly, I'm sorry.
366
00:13:43,785 --> 00:13:45,247
I just don't feel like myself right now.
367
00:13:45,272 --> 00:13:47,415
- Please tell me this is not about the pig.
- It's about the pig.
368
00:13:47,451 --> 00:13:49,385
- I don't get it.
- That's 'cause you're a heartless monster.
369
00:13:49,420 --> 00:13:51,921
Explain to me, what is so
important about James Franco.
370
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:54,390
The first night we spent in
this apartment, we woke up
371
00:13:54,425 --> 00:13:57,296
and he was here, and he's been
with us every moment since.
372
00:13:57,321 --> 00:13:59,264
I mean, the birthdays,
373
00:13:59,289 --> 00:14:01,529
the Super Bowl, those couple of months
374
00:14:01,554 --> 00:14:02,765
we were friends with Topher Grace.
375
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:03,999
I thought we weren't
gonna talk about that.
376
00:14:04,035 --> 00:14:06,001
Look, I know the petting
zoo is a better place for him
377
00:14:06,037 --> 00:14:07,169
and we all have to grow up,
378
00:14:07,204 --> 00:14:09,905
but with James gone, it's...
379
00:14:09,941 --> 00:14:12,608
it's kind of a reminder
it's happening really fast.
380
00:14:15,913 --> 00:14:17,913
(goats bleating, rooster crowing)
381
00:14:21,886 --> 00:14:23,185
Hey.
382
00:14:23,220 --> 00:14:24,720
I need a pig back.
383
00:14:24,755 --> 00:14:26,388
Uh, what's it look like?
384
00:14:26,424 --> 00:14:30,659
Uh, well, he's got a
long, white, silky mane.
385
00:14:30,695 --> 00:14:32,995
It's got a big, giant horn
sticking out of his head.
386
00:14:33,030 --> 00:14:34,159
What do you mean, "What
does he look like?"
387
00:14:34,184 --> 00:14:36,342
He's a giant pig named James Franco.
388
00:14:36,367 --> 00:14:38,334
Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
389
00:14:38,369 --> 00:14:41,337
It's my friends' pig, and-and
I only just now realized
390
00:14:41,372 --> 00:14:44,607
how much it means to
them, so... I need it back.
391
00:14:44,642 --> 00:14:46,041
They need it back.
392
00:14:46,077 --> 00:14:48,377
- He's gone.
- Wait, what?
393
00:14:48,412 --> 00:14:51,914
A pig like him was never
meant for a petting zoo.
394
00:14:51,949 --> 00:14:54,149
All he wanted to do was
lay around and watch TV.
395
00:14:54,185 --> 00:14:55,985
Keeping him here just seemed cruel.
396
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:57,186
Well, where did you send him?
397
00:14:57,221 --> 00:14:58,554
A slaughterhouse.
398
00:15:05,801 --> 00:15:08,144
I'm gonna say this... I miss the tree.
399
00:15:08,169 --> 00:15:10,308
- Yes! Thank you.
- Yeah.
400
00:15:10,940 --> 00:15:11,964
Barry!
401
00:15:11,989 --> 00:15:14,015
Were you eating pancakes on the sofa?
402
00:15:14,078 --> 00:15:15,296
BARRY: Yeah, why?
403
00:15:15,321 --> 00:15:17,757
Hey, Barry. Hey, guys.
(chuckles) Good, good.
404
00:15:17,782 --> 00:15:19,609
Listen, I have some bad news.
405
00:15:19,634 --> 00:15:22,265
Uh, but it's better news
than, say, that missing plane.
406
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:23,838
Remember that?
407
00:15:24,331 --> 00:15:25,564
That plane's actually still missing.
408
00:15:25,599 --> 00:15:28,200
Kelly, what happened?
409
00:15:28,235 --> 00:15:30,068
(sighs)
410
00:15:30,104 --> 00:15:32,137
COOPER: Can't you drive any faster?
411
00:15:32,172 --> 00:15:34,676
What's the point? He's probably
bacon or sausage by now.
412
00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:37,042
BARRY: Hey, that's our
pig you're talking about!
413
00:15:37,068 --> 00:15:38,482
You think we could
stop at a drive-through?
414
00:15:38,515 --> 00:15:39,465
Look, the zoo manager
415
00:15:39,490 --> 00:15:41,480
told Kelly James Franco was
picked up just an hour ago.
416
00:15:41,522 --> 00:15:43,742
So we get to Westfield
Meats, and we stop it.
417
00:15:43,767 --> 00:15:45,250
'Cause that's what we do.
We have each other's backs.
418
00:15:45,285 --> 00:15:47,085
Right! And we don't assign blame
419
00:15:47,110 --> 00:15:49,343
and we don't focus on
who might have caused
420
00:15:49,368 --> 00:15:52,014
- a particular problem.
- NEAL: Did you say "Westfield Meats"?
421
00:15:54,742 --> 00:15:56,942
Josh, turn around! Slow down!
422
00:15:56,977 --> 00:15:58,844
- I'm slowing down.
- (tires screeching)
423
00:16:03,498 --> 00:16:06,366
Whew! I feel like a
badass getaway driver.
424
00:16:06,401 --> 00:16:08,401
- Stay in the minivan.
- Feeling gone.
425
00:16:08,437 --> 00:16:10,359
Okay, Barry, Neal, you
distract the truck driver.
426
00:16:10,384 --> 00:16:12,113
Cooper, you're with me. Come on.
427
00:16:14,676 --> 00:16:16,009
Hey, buddy.
428
00:16:16,044 --> 00:16:17,410
Here to bust you out.
429
00:16:19,014 --> 00:16:19,979
(doorbells jingle)
430
00:16:20,015 --> 00:16:21,080
COOPER: Better hurry up.
431
00:16:21,116 --> 00:16:22,348
The trucker's already paid.
432
00:16:22,373 --> 00:16:24,148
Okay.
433
00:16:24,173 --> 00:16:26,789
Hey there, fellow trucker! (chuckling)
434
00:16:26,814 --> 00:16:28,398
How's the road treating you?
435
00:16:28,423 --> 00:16:30,190
Uh, can't complain.
436
00:16:30,225 --> 00:16:32,525
Every day's a good day
when it's not raining.
437
00:16:32,561 --> 00:16:34,348
(grunting)
438
00:16:34,373 --> 00:16:35,473
I hear that.
439
00:16:36,239 --> 00:16:37,676
That's not how you do it.
440
00:16:37,701 --> 00:16:39,221
- Then how do you do it?!
- I don't know.
441
00:16:39,246 --> 00:16:40,886
Leslie usually handles
this kind of stuff.
442
00:16:41,017 --> 00:16:43,017
There's nothing us truckers
hate more than the rain.
443
00:16:43,053 --> 00:16:44,486
You got that right, pal.
444
00:16:44,521 --> 00:16:45,920
Except maybe those who deny
445
00:16:45,956 --> 00:16:47,489
that Israel is a sovereign nation
446
00:16:47,524 --> 00:16:48,890
with the right to defend itself.
447
00:16:51,128 --> 00:16:52,150
Great.
448
00:16:52,529 --> 00:16:54,329
Start the car!
449
00:16:56,633 --> 00:16:58,322
- We got to go!
- What happened?!
450
00:16:58,347 --> 00:16:59,790
BARRY: He started talking politics!
451
00:17:07,511 --> 00:17:09,944
Josh, we're set.
452
00:17:09,980 --> 00:17:10,980
Yeah.
453
00:17:12,382 --> 00:17:13,680
Whoa, whoa, whoa! No! Josh!
454
00:17:13,705 --> 00:17:15,104
Josh!
455
00:17:18,889 --> 00:17:21,290
(whooping, cheering)
456
00:17:21,330 --> 00:17:24,079
- I don't think he's following us.
- Yeah, we did it!
457
00:17:24,599 --> 00:17:26,466
I hate to put a damper on things, guys,
458
00:17:26,501 --> 00:17:28,668
but where are Cooper and/or Kelly?
459
00:17:30,339 --> 00:17:32,405
- BARRY: And where's the trailer?
- (gasps)
460
00:17:32,451 --> 00:17:33,950
- (Kelly shouting)
- COOPER: Hey!
461
00:17:33,975 --> 00:17:35,409
- Hey!
- Hey!
462
00:17:35,449 --> 00:17:36,770
(all shouting)
463
00:17:36,795 --> 00:17:38,221
- What are you doing?!
- What are you doing?!
464
00:17:38,248 --> 00:17:39,748
We got James Franco!
465
00:17:39,781 --> 00:17:41,751
- Slow down, Josh! Slow down!
- Help! Help!
466
00:17:41,955 --> 00:17:43,096
Help!
467
00:17:43,285 --> 00:17:44,584
(shouting)
468
00:17:47,622 --> 00:17:49,422
We're gonna die, aren't we?!
469
00:17:49,458 --> 00:17:51,324
Probably, yeah!
470
00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:54,160
And all to get back a pig our
landlord won't even let us have.
471
00:17:54,196 --> 00:17:56,496
No, he will. I agreed to
change apartments with him
472
00:17:56,531 --> 00:17:58,943
after I realized how
much the pig meant to you.
473
00:17:59,193 --> 00:18:02,910
That is the sweetest thing
anyone has ever done for me!
474
00:18:02,935 --> 00:18:04,045
(chuckles)
475
00:18:04,070 --> 00:18:04,810
(truck horn blaring)
476
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:06,374
- Truck!
- Truck!
477
00:18:06,375 --> 00:18:08,808
(both screaming)
478
00:18:08,844 --> 00:18:11,444
WOMAN (over P.A.): Dr.
Levy, pick up line two.
479
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,619
Dr. Levy, pick up line two.
480
00:18:15,984 --> 00:18:17,250
How is she?
481
00:18:17,285 --> 00:18:18,952
She's in recovery but stable.
482
00:18:18,987 --> 00:18:20,186
- Can we see her?
- Mm-hmm.
483
00:18:20,222 --> 00:18:21,222
Thank you.
484
00:18:25,026 --> 00:18:27,026
(snorting softly)
485
00:18:29,331 --> 00:18:30,463
(chuckles softly)
486
00:18:30,499 --> 00:18:32,740
I told you James Franco
was getting freaky
487
00:18:32,765 --> 00:18:34,654
on those little pig playdates.
488
00:18:34,679 --> 00:18:36,469
Aw, James Franco's a mom.
489
00:18:36,494 --> 00:18:39,091
- I never thought I'd live to see this.
- Well, you wouldn't have
490
00:18:39,116 --> 00:18:41,898
if that truck driver hadn't
had such good reflexes.
491
00:18:41,923 --> 00:18:44,818
Question: why did you
name her James Franco
492
00:18:44,843 --> 00:18:46,302
if you knew that she was a girl?
493
00:18:46,327 --> 00:18:47,714
Couldn't tell the sex when we found her,
494
00:18:47,749 --> 00:18:50,576
and James Franco the actor
was killing it back then.
495
00:18:50,601 --> 00:18:52,951
BARRY: Yeah. Spider-Man, Spider-Man 2
496
00:18:52,976 --> 00:18:55,321
and Tristan and Isolde.
Are you kidding me?
497
00:18:55,357 --> 00:18:58,436
Well, anyway, I now so
see why you kept James
498
00:18:58,461 --> 00:18:59,993
that first night. I don't know how anyone
499
00:19:00,028 --> 00:19:02,595
could be miserable
holding this little guy.
500
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:07,333
I have an idea.
501
00:19:07,369 --> 00:19:09,002
(snorting softly)
502
00:19:09,037 --> 00:19:11,838
Now I have found a reason to live.
503
00:19:11,873 --> 00:19:13,706
So Kelly can keep her apartment?
504
00:19:13,742 --> 00:19:15,308
Yes, she keeps.
505
00:19:15,343 --> 00:19:17,898
Now leave before I shoot you.
506
00:19:18,947 --> 00:19:22,675
Mmm, Elsa. Elsa, give Virgil a kiss.
507
00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:24,098
Give Virgil a kiss.
508
00:19:24,825 --> 00:19:27,020
So what have we learned?
509
00:19:27,055 --> 00:19:29,088
Well, always read your lease;
510
00:19:29,124 --> 00:19:31,591
a tree can really open up a room;
511
00:19:31,626 --> 00:19:34,427
and even the meanest,
most psychotic landlord
512
00:19:34,463 --> 00:19:36,196
can have a soft side.
513
00:19:36,231 --> 00:19:38,998
(knocking)
514
00:19:39,034 --> 00:19:40,567
Hey.
515
00:19:40,602 --> 00:19:42,902
I just spoke to Virgil.
Thank you so much.
516
00:19:42,938 --> 00:19:44,437
Oh, thank you.
517
00:19:44,462 --> 00:19:46,562
I have my pig back, and
the place looks great.
518
00:19:46,587 --> 00:19:47,668
Yeah.
519
00:19:48,838 --> 00:19:52,627
- So, about that kiss...
- Smooth segue.
520
00:19:52,628 --> 00:19:54,595
I know what you're gonna
say, and I totally agree.
521
00:19:54,620 --> 00:19:56,182
There's been way too much buildup.
522
00:19:56,218 --> 00:19:58,134
Yeah. Exactly. I mean, we've
been talking about it for weeks.
523
00:19:58,159 --> 00:20:00,587
I just feel like the moment's passed.
524
00:20:00,622 --> 00:20:02,658
Yeah. 100% agree. We're on the same page.
525
00:20:02,683 --> 00:20:04,424
All right. Well, thanks
again for talking to Virgil.
526
00:20:04,450 --> 00:20:05,524
You're a really good friend.
527
00:20:05,558 --> 00:20:07,227
I'd do anything for you, buddy.
528
00:20:07,262 --> 00:20:08,580
(chuckles) Okay.
529
00:20:08,605 --> 00:20:09,588
All right.
530
00:20:09,613 --> 00:20:12,198
Well, see you later, pal.
531
00:20:12,234 --> 00:20:13,466
See you later.
532
00:20:14,603 --> 00:20:17,103
♪ ♪
533
00:20:17,138 --> 00:20:19,138
(metallic clanking)
534
00:20:32,511 --> 00:20:33,987
Magic's totally gone, right?
535
00:20:34,022 --> 00:20:36,021
Yeah. Totally. That kiss was just, uh...
536
00:20:36,576 --> 00:20:38,709
- Cool.
- Okay.
537
00:20:40,529 --> 00:20:42,962
(door opens, closes)
538
00:20:57,112 --> 00:20:58,811
- (oinking)
- (gasps)
539
00:20:58,847 --> 00:21:00,146
Josh!
540
00:21:00,181 --> 00:21:01,214
Yeah.
541
00:21:02,551 --> 00:21:04,484
Guys, not on the pillow.
542
00:21:04,519 --> 00:21:05,852
You're never getting laid again.
543
00:21:05,887 --> 00:21:07,620
Come on, guys.
544
00:21:08,963 --> 00:21:13,963
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com