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Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
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When you're in your 20s,
disputes with your landlord
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can land you in some pretty
compromising situations!
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My contacts are fusing to my eyeballs!
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Also, we're gonna die, aren't we?!
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Probably, yeah!
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My name is Cooper Barrett.
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My friends and I are
here to mess up our lives
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so you don't have to.
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_
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I know I've said this before,
but I mean it this time...
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- no more tequila, ever.
- _
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What? No.
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But tequila makes you break dance
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and talk in a bad British accent.
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My accent is bloody brilliant.
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I could literally talk like this all day.
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That's not even close.
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Okay, well, good night...
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pal.
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Yeah. See you tomorrow...
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buddy.
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Quick question: How
are we gonna deal with
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the incredible amount of
sexual tension between us?
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We are going to ignore it.
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Can you just admit that the kiss we had
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at the Clippers game was unbelievable.
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I've never been to a Clippers game.
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Fine.
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We don't have to talk about it.
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All right, fine, I admit it.
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The kiss was amazing.
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I'm just scared that if we try it again,
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that same magic's not gonna be there.
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Sure. It's like watching The
Goonies again when you're 20.
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Right, I don't know what that means.
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But I think,
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instead of trying to recreate it,
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we should just be
grateful for that moment
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and move on.
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Or...
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Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.
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Wow, this is really happening, huh?
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Feels so right.
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Oh. Something's touching my leg.
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I feel like it's less
romantic if we call it out.
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God, no.
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It's your stupid pet pig, James Franco.
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You guys treat him like a human being.
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We know he's an animal, all right?
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Brush your teeth, James
Franco, or no Fallon!
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Come on.
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Now...
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where were we?
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I know I've said this before,
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but I mean it this time.
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Vodka is delicious.
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Barry, code black! I repeat, code black!
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But code black means
that Cooper and Kelly
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are about to have se...
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...gregated washrooms.
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Saved it.
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What's up, guys? What's crack-a-lacking?
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- Go away.
- That's a weird code.
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Go to the room, use the bathroom.
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All right, now...
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where were we?
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Is something wrong?
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Yes! It's the pig, two roommates,
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one functioning wall outlet
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and a giant patch of
black mold on the ceiling.
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Oh, that's not black mold...
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we had an electrical fire.
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Which killed the black mold.
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Cooper, this apartment
is killing my lady boner.
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- What?
- I think you need to call Virgil
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- and get some repairs.
- Absolutely not.
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I mean, sure, he's not the best landlord,
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but our rent is cheap and
he lets us keep James Franco,
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so I'm not gonna rock the
boat over some minor repairs.
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Now...
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Now, where were we?
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What?
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- Hey, Virgil.
- Hi.
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How's everyone's favorite landlord?
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I'm not here.
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Okay, well, when you are here,
can you leave you a message?
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Hey, Virgil, there's something
wrong with our apartment,
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and we'd really appreciate it
if you just came down and...
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Hey, are those my headphones?
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No proof.
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They say "Neal" on the side.
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I had them custom made,
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but the package never got delivered.
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"Neal" is foreign brand. Very big.
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- Is that my shirt?
- Lies.
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Oh, hold on. Lies, my ass, okay?
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It's three sizes too big
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and it has the face of Santa Claus on it.
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That's Frederick Douglass.
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The face of Frederick Douglass.
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I wear as a nightgown.
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Look, look, Virgil, a giant tree
just fell into our apartment.
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Okay.
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What tree?
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This gigantic tree was
not here when we moved in.
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This is two bedroom, one tree, always.
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Well, in that case, that's on us.
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Look, are you gonna fix
the apartment or not?
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How do I know you did
not put tree here, hmm?
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Uh, because if we put a tree
in here, it would be oak,
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not this tacky pine.
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Oh, come on, I know you kids
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and your parties with your trees.
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Perverts.
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This is exactly why
everyone in the building
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thinks you're a horrible landlord.
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Who else thinks bad of Virgil, hmm?
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Nobody.
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Was it Kelly?
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- Yes.
- Yes, it was Kelly. That is correct
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Yep, you're right on the nose.
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♪ Don't you do something ♪
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♪ Just keep something, something ♪
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♪ I said, "Something, something" ♪
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♪ She said, "Shut up
and dance with me!" ♪
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Hey!
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If you refuse to fix our apartment,
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we will take legal action.
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Oh, no, I am scared like a girl.
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Well, you should be scared like girl.
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Just so happens, my
brother is the most feared,
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most dangerous real estate
attorney in all Los Angeles.
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That sounds like the worst TV show ever.
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I disagree. It could
be called Lethal Escrow.
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Guys.
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I fear nothing but
rejection from film festival.
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You don't have a leg to stand
on, Virgil. We have a lease.
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This is literally the worst
lease I've ever seen in my life.
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Uh, you mind if I make a copy of this?
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The boys at the office are gonna love it.
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There's got to be something in there
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that makes him responsible for the tree.
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No, but there's a hell
of a lot of other stuff.
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Like a 3:00 a.m. curfew
for any adult male cat.
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He gets Prima Nocta
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on any new showerheads.
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That's actually a good idea.
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There's something in here that
just says, "No Thanksgiving."
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Oh, in two years, everyone has to
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pitch in and take care
of Virgil's Uncle Gohar.
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Oh, I knew about Uncle Gohar.
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If we don't take care of the
older generation, who will?
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I can't believe you guys
dragged me into this.
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I had to rinse my hair
with bottled water.
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And, yes, we agree it looks fantastic,
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but it was really expensive.
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Josh, what can we do?
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I don't know, buy a
cheaper brand of water.
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About the lease.
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Cut a deal. It's your only option.
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Come on, guys, just say it.
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- I'm not doing it.
- Come on.
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Let's just say it so we can start.
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Virgil is the best landlord ever.
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All other landlords
will perish at his feet.
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Negotiations may begin.
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What'll it take for you
to get rid of our tree?
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And fix my water?
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I will fix all the problems if...
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Kelly and I switch apartments.
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- Done.
- Um, excuse me, no.
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My apartment is three
times the size of yours.
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- No, think of another option.
- Fine.
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If you three give up pig.
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Done.
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Virgil is the worst landlord ever,
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and I'm including Donald Sterling.
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You guys are getting
rid of that pig, right?
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You seriously expect us
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to kick a 300-pound pig out of our place
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when you can easily
move into an apartment
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that's one-third the size
of your current apartment?
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I know you guys love that pig.
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Don't you think it's
time to grow up a little?
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Whoa!
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Since when did you become the
security guard at Sunglass Hut?
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Terrance is really bossy,
and he talks down to me
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all the time, and I don't appreciate it.
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Bottom line is, we're not
giving up of James Franco.
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All right, well, I'm not
giving up my apartment.
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Here's the thing, though...
I can shower at the gym.
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You guys got to live with a
giant tree in your living room.
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Okay, I think you'd be surprised
by what we can live with.
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Oh, hey, Kelly.
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- Hey!
- Oh, hey!
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We're just chilling in our
perfectly livable apartment.
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Want me to cut you a seat?
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00:07:49,248 --> 00:07:51,515
Hey, Barry, could you
pass me the cream, please?
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00:07:51,550 --> 00:07:52,949
Oh, yeah. No problem.
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00:07:52,985 --> 00:07:55,685
You know, this tree is
the best thing that's ever
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00:07:55,721 --> 00:07:57,993
happened to us. You know,
we give it a couple days,
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we're gonna have syrup up in here.
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Ha, ha. Well done.
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00:08:00,993 --> 00:08:03,302
You guys are not fooling
me. I know this tree is
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00:08:03,327 --> 00:08:04,314
driving you nuts.
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00:08:04,338 --> 00:08:05,663
- What?
- Speaking of nuts,
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00:08:05,664 --> 00:08:07,060
there's a stash right here.
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00:08:08,300 --> 00:08:10,634
What was that, Rudy? What's up, Rudy?
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00:08:10,669 --> 00:08:12,769
We're not fooling you.
We straight-up love the tree.
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00:08:12,804 --> 00:08:15,572
Oh, by the way, if you get
tired of showering at the gym,
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00:08:15,607 --> 00:08:18,275
it's gonna rain in, like, ten
minutes, so now no peeksies.
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00:08:18,310 --> 00:08:20,911
Okay. I can't believe I
almost kissed you again.
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00:08:23,482 --> 00:08:25,882
Anyone else think the tree sucks?
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00:08:25,918 --> 00:08:27,551
- Yes!
- It's the worst.
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00:08:27,586 --> 00:08:29,553
Okay, here's the plan. We're
gonna stash James Franco
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00:08:29,588 --> 00:08:31,555
somewhere safe until Virgil
comes to fix the apartment.
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00:08:31,590 --> 00:08:33,990
I love it, but where are
we gonna stash a giant pig?
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00:08:37,419 --> 00:08:39,769
Josh... the kid's asleep,
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00:08:39,794 --> 00:08:42,065
and that's all it takes
to turn me on these days.
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Come on. It's sex time.
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00:08:46,705 --> 00:08:48,138
Josh?!
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00:08:48,173 --> 00:08:50,607
- Yeah.
- Why is there a pig
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00:08:50,642 --> 00:08:52,108
- in our bed?
- Sweetie, you know
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00:08:52,144 --> 00:08:54,311
that the sheets in the guest
room are like sandpaper.
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00:08:54,346 --> 00:08:55,645
Oh, by the way, do you mind
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00:08:55,681 --> 00:08:57,693
if we pork-sit Cooper's
pig for a few weeks?
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00:08:57,718 --> 00:08:59,849
- Get out!
- You heard her. Let's go.
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00:08:59,874 --> 00:09:02,904
- It's sex time. Come on.
- No, not the pig. You. Get out!
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00:09:02,929 --> 00:09:04,421
Yeah, I get it.
231
00:09:05,691 --> 00:09:07,424
Okay.
232
00:09:07,459 --> 00:09:09,693
Yeah! Get her!
233
00:09:09,728 --> 00:09:12,262
How happy are you guys
to get rid of this thing?
234
00:09:12,297 --> 00:09:15,165
Honestly, I am so proud of
you guys for giving up James.
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00:09:15,190 --> 00:09:17,000
Yeah, I know. It's sad, but we're making
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an old woman in Oregon very happy.
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00:09:23,180 --> 00:09:24,746
Stop! Stop!
238
00:09:24,771 --> 00:09:25,584
Sorry, guys.
239
00:09:25,609 --> 00:09:27,844
Leslie won't give me sex
with a pig in the room.
240
00:09:27,879 --> 00:09:29,279
It is what it is.
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00:09:29,314 --> 00:09:32,449
I never fix tree, water, nothing!
242
00:09:32,474 --> 00:09:35,185
Dimitri, let's go listen Coldplay.
243
00:09:35,220 --> 00:09:37,220
Come on, Virgil, no. Please... wait.
244
00:09:37,255 --> 00:09:39,689
About the whole Oregon thing...
245
00:09:39,725 --> 00:09:41,491
Save it, okay? I have to go shower,
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00:09:41,526 --> 00:09:43,727
and Mrs. Pascal's sprinkler
turns on in two minutes.
247
00:09:43,762 --> 00:09:45,595
Well...
248
00:09:49,935 --> 00:09:51,629
You know what our problem is?
249
00:09:52,204 --> 00:09:53,970
We have no leverage over Virgil.
250
00:09:54,006 --> 00:09:56,187
So we have to start
making his life miserable
251
00:09:56,212 --> 00:09:57,841
till he agrees to our demands.
252
00:10:01,485 --> 00:10:02,905
Remember this? Ready?
253
00:10:06,084 --> 00:10:07,484
Yeah!
254
00:10:12,223 --> 00:10:14,390
Yeah!
255
00:10:32,611 --> 00:10:34,277
What the hell, Virgil?!
256
00:10:34,312 --> 00:10:36,544
We play some loud music,
and you shoot at us?!
257
00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:38,481
You missed me by three
inches! I could have died!
258
00:10:38,506 --> 00:10:39,425
This was supposed to be fun!
259
00:10:39,450 --> 00:10:41,120
You were supposed to turn
up our heat or something!
260
00:10:42,699 --> 00:10:44,332
Sorry to disturb you, sir.
261
00:10:44,357 --> 00:10:45,347
- Sorry.
- Never mind.
262
00:10:45,372 --> 00:10:47,390
You have a good night, okay? Bye.
263
00:10:57,169 --> 00:10:58,642
Guys?
264
00:11:00,009 --> 00:11:01,220
Guys?!
265
00:11:01,255 --> 00:11:02,533
Take Neal!
266
00:11:02,558 --> 00:11:03,457
Don't shoot!
267
00:11:03,482 --> 00:11:06,118
- What time is it?
- 2:00 in the afternoon.
268
00:11:06,394 --> 00:11:08,093
Rough night?
269
00:11:08,129 --> 00:11:10,029
Oh, you have no idea.
270
00:11:10,064 --> 00:11:12,168
Our CD/DVD tower is destroyed,
271
00:11:12,193 --> 00:11:14,285
Virgil's been shooting
at us, and Neal's stuck
272
00:11:14,310 --> 00:11:16,168
to the counter 'cause Barry
had maple syrup earlier.
273
00:11:16,193 --> 00:11:18,862
- Hey.
- Listen, guys, um, there's just...
274
00:11:18,898 --> 00:11:20,506
there-there's something
that I want to tell you.
275
00:11:20,541 --> 00:11:21,707
You feel bad about being difficult,
276
00:11:21,732 --> 00:11:23,855
and you want to make out right now.
277
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:25,169
- No.
- It's cool.
278
00:11:25,194 --> 00:11:26,512
I'll just go brush my teeth.
279
00:11:26,547 --> 00:11:28,347
James Franco? Oh, my God,
280
00:11:28,382 --> 00:11:30,203
James Franco is gone! Virgil must have
281
00:11:30,228 --> 00:11:31,750
took him while we were sleeping.
282
00:11:31,775 --> 00:11:33,786
You know what? This is
it! He's gone too far.
283
00:11:33,821 --> 00:11:35,621
Really? This is worse
than shooting at us?
284
00:11:35,656 --> 00:11:37,189
Virgil didn't take your pig.
285
00:11:37,225 --> 00:11:38,724
Who did?
286
00:11:38,759 --> 00:11:40,292
I did.
287
00:11:40,328 --> 00:11:42,761
You... Aah! You monster!
288
00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:49,423
Where exactly did you take James Franco?
289
00:11:49,448 --> 00:11:50,892
To a place where he can live happily.
290
00:11:50,917 --> 00:11:52,704
Have you lost your freakin' mind?
291
00:11:52,729 --> 00:11:54,003
You didn't even pack any of his things!
292
00:11:54,028 --> 00:11:55,080
What things?!
293
00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:59,055
His smartphone, his little work
boots, his shiny sunglasses,
294
00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:00,195
underwear,
295
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,055
backpack, milk,
296
00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:03,179
"I Don't Eat Bacon" sticker
297
00:12:03,208 --> 00:12:04,540
for the back of his ass.
298
00:12:04,576 --> 00:12:05,908
I can't believe you would
299
00:12:05,944 --> 00:12:08,021
resort to this just to have
your water turned back on.
300
00:12:08,046 --> 00:12:10,947
No, this isn't about my
water. It's about you guys.
301
00:12:10,982 --> 00:12:13,549
You've put up with giant trees
302
00:12:13,585 --> 00:12:16,118
and people shooting at
you through the floor
303
00:12:16,154 --> 00:12:18,087
because you're not mature
enough to give up a pig
304
00:12:18,122 --> 00:12:19,789
who was never meant to live indoors?
305
00:12:19,824 --> 00:12:22,391
You take that back. This
is his dream apartment!
306
00:12:22,427 --> 00:12:23,626
Okay, we're gonna go get him.
307
00:12:23,661 --> 00:12:25,394
Take us to whatever
hellhole you brought him to.
308
00:12:27,899 --> 00:12:29,966
This is no place for an animal.
309
00:12:30,001 --> 00:12:32,536
Look, James Franco is enjoying
310
00:12:32,561 --> 00:12:34,437
his own personal hot tub.
311
00:12:34,472 --> 00:12:37,373
Tonight, he'll dine on
the finest of organic slop
312
00:12:37,408 --> 00:12:39,226
while enjoying the
company of other animals.
313
00:12:39,251 --> 00:12:41,577
What about people? James
Franco likes people!
314
00:12:41,613 --> 00:12:42,645
Like that?
315
00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:44,380
Okay, you know what? That's it.
316
00:12:44,415 --> 00:12:45,517
We're getting him out of here.
317
00:12:45,542 --> 00:12:47,817
I'm gonna get the truck.
Neal, knock over these kids.
318
00:12:47,852 --> 00:12:48,849
Great. I'm on it.
319
00:12:48,874 --> 00:12:51,064
- Guys, guys, guys, look at him.
- Neal!
320
00:12:51,089 --> 00:12:52,822
She's right. He's...
321
00:12:52,857 --> 00:12:54,824
glowing.
322
00:12:54,859 --> 00:12:57,960
Maybe it's the right place for him.
323
00:13:03,034 --> 00:13:05,468
I'll never let go!
324
00:13:10,701 --> 00:13:12,371
_
325
00:13:12,396 --> 00:13:13,676
Pretty different, right?
326
00:13:13,711 --> 00:13:17,230
I mean, it looks like actual
human beings live here.
327
00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:20,082
And, oh, my God, is this a houseplant?
328
00:13:20,118 --> 00:13:21,265
We got kind of used to the tree
329
00:13:21,290 --> 00:13:23,359
and figured this was a happy medium.
330
00:13:23,384 --> 00:13:25,709
Anne Hathaway, meet Kelly.
Kelly, Anne Hathaway.
331
00:13:25,734 --> 00:13:29,664
Cooper Barrett, seriously, I'm impressed.
332
00:13:29,689 --> 00:13:31,268
I'm impressed.
333
00:13:32,416 --> 00:13:35,166
This place is all grown up.
334
00:13:36,301 --> 00:13:37,800
Barry or Neal here?
335
00:13:37,835 --> 00:13:40,423
Uh, it's Thursday, so right now,
336
00:13:40,448 --> 00:13:42,426
they're out hunting
for the Zodiac Killer.
337
00:13:42,451 --> 00:13:43,617
Why'd you ask?
338
00:13:47,912 --> 00:13:50,160
Uh, look, Kelly, I'm sorry.
339
00:13:50,185 --> 00:13:51,647
I just don't feel like myself right now.
340
00:13:51,672 --> 00:13:53,815
- Please tell me this is not about the pig.
- It's about the pig.
341
00:13:53,851 --> 00:13:55,785
- I don't get it.
- That's 'cause you're a heartless monster.
342
00:13:55,820 --> 00:13:58,321
Explain to me, what is so
important about James Franco.
343
00:13:58,356 --> 00:14:00,790
The first night we spent in
this apartment, we woke up
344
00:14:00,825 --> 00:14:03,696
and he was here, and he's been
with us every moment since.
345
00:14:03,721 --> 00:14:05,664
I mean, the birthdays,
346
00:14:05,689 --> 00:14:07,929
the Super Bowl, those couple of months
347
00:14:07,954 --> 00:14:09,165
we were friends with Topher Grace.
348
00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:10,399
I thought we weren't
gonna talk about that.
349
00:14:10,435 --> 00:14:12,401
Look, I know the petting
zoo is a better place for him
350
00:14:12,437 --> 00:14:13,569
and we all have to grow up,
351
00:14:13,604 --> 00:14:16,305
but with James gone, it's...
352
00:14:16,341 --> 00:14:19,008
it's kind of a reminder
it's happening really fast.
353
00:14:28,286 --> 00:14:29,585
Hey.
354
00:14:29,620 --> 00:14:31,120
I need a pig back.
355
00:14:31,155 --> 00:14:32,788
Uh, what's it look like?
356
00:14:32,824 --> 00:14:37,059
Uh, well, he's got a
long, white, silky mane.
357
00:14:37,095 --> 00:14:39,395
It's got a big, giant horn
sticking out of his head.
358
00:14:39,430 --> 00:14:40,559
What do you mean, "What
does he look like?"
359
00:14:40,584 --> 00:14:42,742
He's a giant pig named James Franco.
360
00:14:42,767 --> 00:14:44,734
Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
361
00:14:44,769 --> 00:14:47,737
It's my friends' pig, and-and
I only just now realized
362
00:14:47,772 --> 00:14:51,007
how much it means to
them, so... I need it back.
363
00:14:51,042 --> 00:14:52,441
They need it back.
364
00:14:52,477 --> 00:14:54,777
- He's gone.
- Wait, what?
365
00:14:54,812 --> 00:14:58,314
A pig like him was never
meant for a petting zoo.
366
00:14:58,349 --> 00:15:00,549
All he wanted to do was
lay around and watch TV.
367
00:15:00,585 --> 00:15:02,385
Keeping him here just seemed cruel.
368
00:15:02,420 --> 00:15:03,586
Well, where did you send him?
369
00:15:03,621 --> 00:15:04,954
A slaughterhouse.
370
00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:17,344
I'm gonna say this... I miss the tree.
371
00:15:17,369 --> 00:15:19,508
- Yes! Thank you.
- Yeah.
372
00:15:20,140 --> 00:15:21,164
Barry!
373
00:15:21,189 --> 00:15:23,215
Were you eating pancakes on the sofa?
374
00:15:23,278 --> 00:15:24,496
Yeah, why?
375
00:15:24,521 --> 00:15:26,957
Hey, Barry. Hey, guys. Good, good.
376
00:15:26,982 --> 00:15:28,809
Listen, I have some bad news.
377
00:15:28,834 --> 00:15:31,465
Uh, but it's better news
than, say, that missing plane.
378
00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:33,038
Remember that?
379
00:15:33,531 --> 00:15:34,764
That plane's actually still missing.
380
00:15:34,799 --> 00:15:37,400
Kelly, what happened?
381
00:15:39,304 --> 00:15:41,337
Can't you drive any faster?
382
00:15:41,372 --> 00:15:43,876
What's the point? He's probably
bacon or sausage by now.
383
00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:46,242
Hey, that's our pig you're talking about!
384
00:15:46,268 --> 00:15:47,682
You think we could
stop at a drive-through?
385
00:15:47,715 --> 00:15:48,665
Look, the zoo manager
386
00:15:48,690 --> 00:15:50,680
told Kelly James Franco was
picked up just an hour ago.
387
00:15:50,722 --> 00:15:52,942
So we get to Westfield
Meats, and we stop it.
388
00:15:52,967 --> 00:15:54,450
'Cause that's what we do.
We have each other's backs.
389
00:15:54,485 --> 00:15:56,285
Right! And we don't assign blame
390
00:15:56,310 --> 00:15:58,543
and we don't focus on
who might have caused
391
00:15:58,568 --> 00:16:01,214
- a particular problem.
- Did you say "Westfield Meats"?
392
00:16:03,942 --> 00:16:06,142
Josh, turn around! Slow down!
393
00:16:06,177 --> 00:16:08,044
I'm slowing down.
394
00:16:12,698 --> 00:16:15,566
Whew! I feel like a
badass getaway driver.
395
00:16:15,601 --> 00:16:17,601
- Stay in the minivan.
- Feeling gone.
396
00:16:17,637 --> 00:16:19,559
Okay, Barry, Neal, you
distract the truck driver.
397
00:16:19,584 --> 00:16:21,313
Cooper, you're with me. Come on.
398
00:16:23,876 --> 00:16:25,209
Hey, buddy.
399
00:16:25,244 --> 00:16:26,610
Here to bust you out.
400
00:16:29,215 --> 00:16:30,280
Better hurry up.
401
00:16:30,316 --> 00:16:31,548
The trucker's already paid.
402
00:16:31,573 --> 00:16:33,348
Okay.
403
00:16:33,373 --> 00:16:35,989
Hey there, fellow trucker!
404
00:16:36,014 --> 00:16:37,598
How's the road treating you?
405
00:16:37,623 --> 00:16:39,390
Uh, can't complain.
406
00:16:39,425 --> 00:16:41,725
Every day's a good day
when it's not raining.
407
00:16:43,573 --> 00:16:44,673
I hear that.
408
00:16:45,439 --> 00:16:46,876
That's not how you do it.
409
00:16:46,901 --> 00:16:48,421
- Then how do you do it?!
- I don't know.
410
00:16:48,446 --> 00:16:50,086
Leslie usually handles
this kind of stuff.
411
00:16:50,217 --> 00:16:52,217
There's nothing us truckers
hate more than the rain.
412
00:16:52,253 --> 00:16:53,686
You got that right, pal.
413
00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:55,120
Except maybe those who deny
414
00:16:55,156 --> 00:16:56,689
that Israel is a sovereign nation
415
00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:58,090
with the right to defend itself.
416
00:17:00,328 --> 00:17:01,350
Great.
417
00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:03,529
Start the car!
418
00:17:05,833 --> 00:17:07,522
- We got to go!
- What happened?!
419
00:17:07,547 --> 00:17:08,990
He started talking politics!
420
00:17:16,711 --> 00:17:19,144
Josh, we're set.
421
00:17:19,180 --> 00:17:20,180
Yeah.
422
00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:22,880
Whoa, whoa, whoa! No! Josh!
423
00:17:22,905 --> 00:17:24,304
Josh!
424
00:17:30,530 --> 00:17:33,279
- I don't think he's following us.
- Yeah, we did it!
425
00:17:33,799 --> 00:17:35,666
I hate to put a damper on things, guys,
426
00:17:35,701 --> 00:17:37,868
but where are Cooper and/or Kelly?
427
00:17:39,539 --> 00:17:41,605
And where's the trailer?
428
00:17:41,651 --> 00:17:43,150
Hey!
429
00:17:43,175 --> 00:17:44,609
- Hey!
- Hey!
430
00:17:45,995 --> 00:17:47,421
- What are you doing?!
- What are you doing?!
431
00:17:47,448 --> 00:17:48,948
We got James Franco!
432
00:17:48,981 --> 00:17:50,951
- Slow down, Josh! Slow down!
- Help! Help!
433
00:17:51,155 --> 00:17:52,296
Help!
434
00:17:56,822 --> 00:17:58,622
We're gonna die, aren't we?!
435
00:17:58,658 --> 00:18:00,524
Probably, yeah!
436
00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:03,360
And all to get back a pig our
landlord won't even let us have.
437
00:18:03,396 --> 00:18:05,696
No, he will. I agreed to
change apartments with him
438
00:18:05,731 --> 00:18:08,143
after I realized how
much the pig meant to you.
439
00:18:08,393 --> 00:18:12,110
That is the sweetest thing
anyone has ever done for me!
440
00:18:14,034 --> 00:18:15,574
- Truck!
- Truck!
441
00:18:18,044 --> 00:18:20,644
Dr. Levy, pick up line two.
442
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:22,819
Dr. Levy, pick up line two.
443
00:18:25,184 --> 00:18:26,450
How is she?
444
00:18:26,485 --> 00:18:28,152
She's in recovery but stable.
445
00:18:28,187 --> 00:18:29,386
- Can we see her?
- Mm-hmm.
446
00:18:29,422 --> 00:18:30,422
Thank you.
447
00:18:39,699 --> 00:18:41,940
I told you James Franco
was getting freaky
448
00:18:41,965 --> 00:18:43,854
on those little pig playdates.
449
00:18:43,879 --> 00:18:45,669
Aw, James Franco's a mom.
450
00:18:45,694 --> 00:18:48,291
- I never thought I'd live to see this.
- Well, you wouldn't have
451
00:18:48,316 --> 00:18:51,098
if that truck driver hadn't
had such good reflexes.
452
00:18:51,123 --> 00:18:54,018
Question: why did you
name her James Franco
453
00:18:54,043 --> 00:18:55,502
if you knew that she was a girl?
454
00:18:55,527 --> 00:18:56,914
Couldn't tell the sex when we found her,
455
00:18:56,949 --> 00:18:59,776
and James Franco the actor
was killing it back then.
456
00:18:59,801 --> 00:19:02,151
Yeah. Spider-Man, Spider-Man 2
457
00:19:02,176 --> 00:19:04,521
and Tristan and Isolde.
Are you kidding me?
458
00:19:04,557 --> 00:19:07,636
Well, anyway, I now so
see why you kept James
459
00:19:07,661 --> 00:19:09,193
that first night. I don't know how anyone
460
00:19:09,228 --> 00:19:11,795
could be miserable
holding this little guy.
461
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:16,533
I have an idea.
462
00:19:18,237 --> 00:19:21,038
Now I have found a reason to live.
463
00:19:21,073 --> 00:19:22,906
So Kelly can keep her apartment?
464
00:19:22,942 --> 00:19:24,508
Yes, she keeps.
465
00:19:24,543 --> 00:19:27,098
Now leave before I shoot you.
466
00:19:28,147 --> 00:19:31,875
Mmm, Elsa. Elsa, give Virgil a kiss.
467
00:19:31,900 --> 00:19:33,298
Give Virgil a kiss.
468
00:19:34,025 --> 00:19:36,220
So what have we learned?
469
00:19:36,255 --> 00:19:38,288
Well, always read your lease;
470
00:19:38,324 --> 00:19:40,791
a tree can really open up a room;
471
00:19:40,826 --> 00:19:43,627
and even the meanest,
most psychotic landlord
472
00:19:43,663 --> 00:19:45,396
can have a soft side.
473
00:19:48,234 --> 00:19:49,767
Hey.
474
00:19:49,802 --> 00:19:52,102
I just spoke to Virgil.
Thank you so much.
475
00:19:52,138 --> 00:19:53,637
Oh, thank you.
476
00:19:53,662 --> 00:19:55,762
I have my pig back, and
the place looks great.
477
00:19:55,787 --> 00:19:56,868
Yeah.
478
00:19:58,038 --> 00:20:01,827
- So, about that kiss...
- Smooth segue.
479
00:20:01,828 --> 00:20:03,795
I know what you're gonna
say, and I totally agree.
480
00:20:03,820 --> 00:20:05,382
There's been way too much buildup.
481
00:20:05,418 --> 00:20:07,334
Yeah. Exactly. I mean, we've
been talking about it for weeks.
482
00:20:07,359 --> 00:20:09,787
I just feel like the moment's passed.
483
00:20:09,822 --> 00:20:11,858
Yeah. 100% agree. We're on the same page.
484
00:20:11,883 --> 00:20:13,624
All right. Well, thanks
again for talking to Virgil.
485
00:20:13,650 --> 00:20:14,724
You're a really good friend.
486
00:20:14,758 --> 00:20:16,427
I'd do anything for you, buddy.
487
00:20:16,462 --> 00:20:17,780
Okay.
488
00:20:17,805 --> 00:20:18,788
All right.
489
00:20:18,813 --> 00:20:21,398
Well, see you later, pal.
490
00:20:21,434 --> 00:20:22,666
See you later.
491
00:20:41,711 --> 00:20:43,187
Magic's totally gone, right?
492
00:20:43,222 --> 00:20:45,221
Yeah. Totally. That kiss was just, uh...
493
00:20:45,776 --> 00:20:47,909
- Cool.
- Okay.
494
00:21:08,047 --> 00:21:09,346
Josh!
495
00:21:09,381 --> 00:21:10,414
Yeah.
496
00:21:11,751 --> 00:21:13,684
Guys, not on the pillow.
497
00:21:13,719 --> 00:21:15,052
You're never getting laid again.
498
00:21:15,087 --> 00:21:16,820
Come on, guys.
499
00:21:18,163 --> 00:21:23,163
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