1
00:00:04,170 --> 00:00:08,266
Okay. Mr. Richman's flu
has been vanquished.
2
00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:10,400
Who's next in line to be...
3
00:00:10,477 --> 00:00:12,843
(SINGING) A- feelin' my healin'
4
00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:16,842
Okay. Get ready.
5
00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:18,074
Oh, no.
6
00:00:18,151 --> 00:00:20,551
Just please tell me
it doesn't involve a hernia exam.
7
00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:22,281
At the risk of sounding unprofessional,
8
00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:24,323
I hate tugging plums before lunch.
9
00:00:25,492 --> 00:00:27,084
No. Much better.
10
00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:28,984
Dicky Wexler!
11
00:00:29,062 --> 00:00:30,654
(SQUEALS)
12
00:00:32,332 --> 00:00:33,663
Who's Dicky Wexler?
13
00:00:33,933 --> 00:00:35,366
Dr. Ken's favorite patient.
14
00:00:35,435 --> 00:00:37,699
He's hilarious. Old-school comedian.
15
00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:39,432
I've loved him since I was a kid.
16
00:00:39,506 --> 00:00:41,337
I did one of his routines word for word
17
00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:43,399
in my fourth grade talent show. (SCOFFS)
18
00:00:43,476 --> 00:00:45,842
It did not go well, but in my defense,
19
00:00:45,912 --> 00:00:48,904
I thought he actually went
motor boating with Charo.
20
00:00:48,982 --> 00:00:50,381
(GURGLING)
21
00:00:52,118 --> 00:00:53,551
Ta-da! (LAUGHS)
22
00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:54,917
Dicky!
23
00:00:54,988 --> 00:00:57,252
How's my favorite pint-sized doc, huh?
24
00:00:57,357 --> 00:00:58,654
Look at this guy.
25
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,215
He's so small, he could model for trophies.
26
00:01:00,326 --> 00:01:02,055
(BOTH LAUGH)
27
00:01:02,128 --> 00:01:04,096
Oh, I am not tall.
28
00:01:05,031 --> 00:01:07,261
Clarky, Clarky, if that
dome gets any shinier,
29
00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:08,459
you can get a job as lighthouse.
30
00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:09,796
(ALL LAUGH)
31
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:13,464
Damona, Damona,
you look younger every year.
32
00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:14,598
Oh!
33
00:01:14,674 --> 00:01:16,574
Then again,
I'm legally blind, so you do the math.
34
00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:18,235
(ALL LAUGH)
35
00:01:19,112 --> 00:01:21,376
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who, who... Who is this?
36
00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:23,439
Hi, Dicky. I'm Dr. Julie Dobbs.
37
00:01:23,683 --> 00:01:25,241
What do we say
we go down to the courthouse
38
00:01:25,318 --> 00:01:27,149
and change your name to Wife Number Five?
39
00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:28,744
(ALL LAUGH)
40
00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:30,688
Oh, hey, hey, hey, listen.
41
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,019
I got this for you.
42
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:34,458
My show at the Tropicana, 1978.
43
00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:36,359
Thanks, Dicky.
44
00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:38,329
I listen to these whenever I'm in a bad mood.
45
00:01:38,398 --> 00:01:39,695
So, always?
46
00:01:40,633 --> 00:01:41,827
(CHUCKLES)
47
00:01:41,901 --> 00:01:43,163
People, a lot of you were late
48
00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:44,600
with your time cards this week, so...
49
00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:46,229
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
50
00:01:46,306 --> 00:01:48,501
Where'd you get this guy,
Bureaucrats "R" Us?
51
00:01:48,575 --> 00:01:51,373
(CHUCKLING) Okay, okay, Dicky.
52
00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:53,344
Let's get you to an exam room.
53
00:01:53,413 --> 00:01:56,405
Seriously. If red tape and boredom had a kid,
54
00:01:56,483 --> 00:01:57,780
- it would be that guy.
- (LAUGHS)
55
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,276
Because you're boring!
56
00:02:01,354 --> 00:02:02,446
(ALL LAUGHING)
57
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:04,783
(LAUGHING)
58
00:02:12,098 --> 00:02:13,656
So, what brings you in today?
59
00:02:13,733 --> 00:02:16,065
There's a benefit show
at the Friars Club next week,
60
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,570
but they won't let me do it
unless I get cleared by a doctor.
61
00:02:19,439 --> 00:02:21,304
I guess Charlene makes them nervous.
62
00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:23,006
I'm sorry. Charlene?
63
00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:24,976
Dicky's had myeloma for a few years.
64
00:02:25,044 --> 00:02:26,477
Cancer is such an ugly word.
65
00:02:27,113 --> 00:02:28,876
So I named it Charlene, after my ex-wife.
66
00:02:28,948 --> 00:02:30,347
(CHUCKLES)
67
00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:32,411
They're each about as much fun,
68
00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:33,747
and they've had similar effects on me.
69
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:35,048
(DR. KEN CHUCKLES)
70
00:02:35,755 --> 00:02:37,985
Well, Dicky, I'm sure
your oncologist went over this,
71
00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:41,754
but Charlene is kind of
making herself at home in there.
72
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:42,852
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
73
00:02:42,929 --> 00:02:44,556
I, I know, but listen. I feel great.
74
00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:46,656
I'm doing my thing. I'm taking walks.
75
00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:48,860
Look, I'm no athlete, but neither are you.
76
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:53,165
Looks like the only
pull-ups you do are at the drive-through.
77
00:02:53,239 --> 00:02:54,706
(LAUGHS)
78
00:02:56,075 --> 00:02:57,975
I do get winded on escalators.
79
00:02:59,312 --> 00:03:01,143
So, what do you say?
Will you give me a doctor's note
80
00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:02,738
so I can do this thing?
81
00:03:04,951 --> 00:03:06,282
- All right.
- DICKY: All right.
82
00:03:06,352 --> 00:03:07,478
DR. KEN: All right, I'll make it happen.
83
00:03:07,554 --> 00:03:09,681
Okay. But...
84
00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:10,984
You better save me a seat
85
00:03:11,057 --> 00:03:13,184
and not a booster seat like last time.
86
00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:15,459
You didn't.
87
00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:17,018
You got to admit it was funny.
88
00:03:17,630 --> 00:03:18,688
(BOTH LAUGH)
89
00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:19,857
It was.
90
00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:22,929
And it really did help me see
the stage better, so...
91
00:03:28,341 --> 00:03:30,400
(LAUGHING) Okay, Dicky,
I'll see you at the show.
92
00:03:30,476 --> 00:03:31,568
Thanks again, Doc.
93
00:03:31,644 --> 00:03:33,305
Good luck with that lawsuit
against your barber.
94
00:03:33,379 --> 00:03:34,812
(BOTH LAUGH)
95
00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:37,349
This is not Supercuts' best work.
96
00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:39,112
Hey, sweetheart.
97
00:03:39,185 --> 00:03:41,153
Let me take you out for a romantic dinner.
98
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,688
What are you doing tomorrow at 4:00?
99
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,447
(ALL LAUGH)
100
00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:47,015
All right, all right all right,
I'll see you when I see you.
101
00:03:47,093 --> 00:03:48,185
(CHUCKLES)
102
00:03:48,661 --> 00:03:50,424
Ah, he always says that.
103
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:55,133
Dr. Park, are you sure that Dicky is healthy
enough to do that show?
104
00:03:55,201 --> 00:03:57,965
His platelets and hemoglobin
are both very low.
105
00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,335
Trust me. The guy's been performing forever.
106
00:04:00,406 --> 00:04:02,897
He survived two tours in Vietnam.
107
00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:05,035
USO tours, but still.
108
00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:08,744
Those guys are not an easy laugh.
109
00:04:10,516 --> 00:04:12,746
Okay. It's just, you've always told me
110
00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:14,446
not to get too close to my patients
111
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:15,987
because it could cloud my judgment.
112
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,522
My judgment's fine.
113
00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:20,184
Dicky's strong as an ox,
and I know what he can handle.
114
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,194
I've been his doctor
since you were a little girl
115
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,321
doing pretend vaccinations on your dolls.
116
00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:27,823
I told you that in confidence!
117
00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:30,964
Damona...
118
00:04:31,504 --> 00:04:32,869
Is the old man gone?
119
00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:37,265
I'm having a puffy day, and I don't feel like
enduring any more of his barbs.
120
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:40,977
- He's gone.
- Oh, good.
121
00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:43,105
All right, quick announcement, people.
122
00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:46,108
Due to some cockroach eggs
in the pancake batter,
123
00:04:46,185 --> 00:04:47,743
the commissary will be closed tomorrow.
124
00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:50,150
But today it's business as usual.
125
00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:51,952
And they're doing all-you-can-eat pancakes.
126
00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:56,820
Ooh, let's get tacos for lunch tomorrow.
127
00:04:56,896 --> 00:04:59,592
Oh, actually,
I hate to be a Johnny-Asserts-Himself
128
00:04:59,666 --> 00:05:01,497
instead of a Little-Timmy-Goes-Along,
129
00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:05,168
but I believe it's my turn
to choose the restaurant,
130
00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:06,933
and this new vegan place just opened.
131
00:05:07,006 --> 00:05:09,804
Oh! I would,
but I had yard trimmings for breakfast.
132
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,442
Just try it, Pat.
133
00:05:13,546 --> 00:05:15,571
Jared Leto's a vegan, and you love him.
134
00:05:15,848 --> 00:05:17,440
Oh, Leto. Well...
135
00:05:17,517 --> 00:05:19,451
I guess if he can put it
in his beautiful mouth,
136
00:05:19,519 --> 00:05:20,850
I can put it in mine.
137
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:27,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll
138
00:05:30,563 --> 00:05:32,428
Sorry about the cavities, Molly.
139
00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:34,398
You got to take care of your teeth.
140
00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:36,833
They're the white picket fence
of your face house.
141
00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:38,564
(LISPING) Shut up, Dave.
142
00:05:38,638 --> 00:05:41,436
Dave, don't rub it in.
You just had one good checkup.
143
00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:43,471
"Good"? It was perfect.
144
00:05:43,543 --> 00:05:45,135
My teeth are so amazing,
145
00:05:45,211 --> 00:05:48,408
you should be on guard for poachers
coming after me.
146
00:05:48,481 --> 00:05:49,743
Ding!
147
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:52,784
Okay. See you Tuesday at 11:00.
148
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:53,978
Dr. Park.
149
00:05:54,487 --> 00:05:55,886
Kate! How are you?
150
00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:57,852
Great. (CHUCKLES)
151
00:05:57,924 --> 00:05:59,414
Well, bye.
152
00:05:59,992 --> 00:06:01,289
Have a day.
153
00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:06,998
(LISPING) What was that about?
154
00:06:07,333 --> 00:06:08,800
Just a former patient of mine.
155
00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:10,267
It's no big deal.
156
00:06:11,304 --> 00:06:13,033
Five years I spent treating Kate.
157
00:06:14,273 --> 00:06:16,605
She told me
she didn't need therapy anymore,
158
00:06:16,676 --> 00:06:18,166
but there she was,
159
00:06:18,244 --> 00:06:21,008
waltzing out of another
therapist's office like she owned the place
160
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:23,708
literally, as if she had
the deed in her back pocket.
161
00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:26,742
I thought you said it was no big deal.
162
00:06:26,819 --> 00:06:28,514
And aren't deeds just for ranches?
163
00:06:29,922 --> 00:06:31,446
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
164
00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:33,889
Dr. Park.
165
00:06:35,094 --> 00:06:36,083
When?
166
00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:40,126
Mmm-hmm.
167
00:06:40,199 --> 00:06:41,223
Okay. On my way.
168
00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:43,632
- What is it?
- Dicky Wexler's in the hospital.
169
00:06:45,371 --> 00:06:47,100
(LISPING) Who's Dicky Wexler?
170
00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:55,345
I'm fine, Doc.
171
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:56,814
I got a little tired, so I took a load off.
172
00:06:57,316 --> 00:06:59,045
You collapsed in a busy intersection.
173
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:02,388
Everybody's so touchy
about where you lie down these days.
174
00:07:03,956 --> 00:07:06,481
You told Dr. Marabi
you've been feeling really tired
175
00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:08,618
and you're having trouble
getting up the stairs.
176
00:07:08,694 --> 00:07:10,491
But you told me you felt great.
177
00:07:10,563 --> 00:07:13,361
Okay. So I lied. I want to do the show.
178
00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:14,591
Even if you're getting sicker?
179
00:07:14,667 --> 00:07:16,635
Especially if I'm getting sicker.
180
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:18,802
Look, Doc...
181
00:07:18,871 --> 00:07:20,998
I don't know how much time I got left but...
182
00:07:21,073 --> 00:07:23,940
- I want to spend it doing what I love.
- I know, Dicky, but...
183
00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:27,377
Onstage, a drink in my hand,
making people laugh.
184
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:28,744
That's who I am.
185
00:07:29,582 --> 00:07:30,981
(MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY)
186
00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:32,108
It's all I got.
187
00:07:32,819 --> 00:07:34,116
(SIGHS)
188
00:07:35,922 --> 00:07:38,186
Okay. I'll let you do it.
189
00:07:38,257 --> 00:07:40,623
Attaboy, Doc. Thanks.
190
00:07:40,726 --> 00:07:42,489
All right, Dicky, get some rest.
191
00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:44,154
Here, not on Ventura and Woodman.
192
00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:45,288
(CHUCKLES)
193
00:07:45,364 --> 00:07:46,956
All right, Doc. Hey.
194
00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:48,728
- I'll see you when I see you.
- (CLICKS TONGUE)
195
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,034
Mom, have you seen my pink top?
196
00:07:54,106 --> 00:07:55,630
Okay. So I'm not fine with Kate
197
00:07:55,708 --> 00:07:57,369
leaving me for another therapist.
198
00:07:57,443 --> 00:07:58,774
There. I admit it.
199
00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:02,311
So, that's a "no" on the top?
200
00:08:04,383 --> 00:08:06,442
I just wish I knew what I did wrong with her.
201
00:08:07,253 --> 00:08:08,720
Just play it cool.
202
00:08:08,788 --> 00:08:10,756
If you're aloof, they always come back.
203
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,721
Molly, she's a patient,
204
00:08:13,793 --> 00:08:15,590
not a sophomore boy with saggy pants
205
00:08:15,661 --> 00:08:17,822
and ethnically inappropriate dreadlocks.
206
00:08:18,798 --> 00:08:21,596
Mock if you will, but Xander came back.
207
00:08:23,469 --> 00:08:25,061
(SLURPING)
208
00:08:25,137 --> 00:08:27,970
Dave, how many bowls
of that blue cereal have you had?
209
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:29,337
At least three.
210
00:08:29,642 --> 00:08:32,770
And last night,
he took a bag of Snickers to bed with him.
211
00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:37,473
I can have as much sugar as I want.
212
00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:39,677
I've got enamel for days, son!
213
00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:42,053
(SLURPING)
214
00:08:43,122 --> 00:08:44,851
Vegan chili,
215
00:08:44,991 --> 00:08:47,118
kale ravioli, jealous...
216
00:08:48,761 --> 00:08:50,490
Garden burger,
217
00:08:50,563 --> 00:08:52,554
and tofu banh mi...
218
00:08:54,634 --> 00:08:56,261
Which will soon be in me.
219
00:08:56,335 --> 00:08:57,597
(CLARK CHUCKLES)
220
00:08:58,170 --> 00:09:00,263
That's a little food joke I tell, so...
221
00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:04,136
(SNIFFS) Mmm. Yeah. Smells terrific.
222
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:05,802
- And there's no meat in this?
- Nope.
223
00:09:11,183 --> 00:09:12,946
Well, mine tastes fantastic, Clark.
224
00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:14,452
Thank you, Damona.
225
00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:16,147
And you know what's so cool
about this place
226
00:09:16,255 --> 00:09:20,123
is that the takeout menu
is actually printed on rice-based paper,
227
00:09:20,192 --> 00:09:21,489
so you can eat it.
228
00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:26,960
Yeah. No. I am thinking of a different place.
229
00:09:28,834 --> 00:09:31,268
And make sure
there's some bourbon in the ambulance.
230
00:09:31,337 --> 00:09:33,532
'Cause that's what he likes before a show.
231
00:09:33,606 --> 00:09:35,403
Well, just swing by a liquor store.
232
00:09:35,474 --> 00:09:36,907
A cool paramedic would do it.
233
00:09:39,111 --> 00:09:40,772
Dr. Park, are you sure
234
00:09:40,846 --> 00:09:43,110
that taking Dicky
out of the hospital is a good idea?
235
00:09:43,182 --> 00:09:44,877
Hmm, let me check.
236
00:09:44,951 --> 00:09:46,384
Uh, yeah, I am.
237
00:09:47,286 --> 00:09:49,083
I'm just worried that your feelings
238
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:50,622
might be clouding your judgment.
239
00:09:50,690 --> 00:09:52,248
And I'm just worried... Loser says, "What?"
240
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:53,792
- What?
- Aha!
241
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,557
Every time!
242
00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:59,855
Wait. Just answer me one thing.
243
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:01,957
If Dicky's chart belonged to another patient,
244
00:10:02,034 --> 00:10:04,400
would you really let him leave the hospital?
245
00:10:05,705 --> 00:10:07,172
(SIGHS)
246
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,269
No. I wouldn't.
247
00:10:11,844 --> 00:10:14,074
I'm sorry. I know this must be really hard.
248
00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:16,808
How am I gonna tell him?
249
00:10:17,483 --> 00:10:20,077
Just be honest. That's always best.
250
00:10:20,686 --> 00:10:23,712
Oh, God,
that vegan chili smells like Satan's diaper.
251
00:10:27,927 --> 00:10:30,760
Okay, honesty is usually best.
252
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:44,867
(GASPS)
253
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,139
Liaress!
254
00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:50,812
You said you liked my vegan food,
255
00:10:50,883 --> 00:10:53,647
but then you threw it
in the trash after barely one bite?
256
00:10:53,719 --> 00:10:56,586
Look, I'm sorry, Clark,
but it was just so nasty!
257
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:57,645
(GASPS)
258
00:10:57,723 --> 00:10:59,190
I had to gargle with hamburger
259
00:10:59,258 --> 00:11:01,021
just to get the taste out of my mouth.
260
00:11:02,261 --> 00:11:04,126
What, and you didn't feel like
you could tell me this?
261
00:11:04,196 --> 00:11:05,663
You wanted us to like it so bad.
262
00:11:05,731 --> 00:11:07,096
And please don't take this the wrong way,
263
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:09,134
but you tend to be a little over-dramatic.
264
00:11:09,201 --> 00:11:10,395
(GASPS)
265
00:11:24,784 --> 00:11:26,581
Ah. Hey, Doc.
266
00:11:26,652 --> 00:11:28,586
I got my penguin suit for the show.
267
00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:30,780
That tux has been through a lot.
268
00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:32,255
You, you see those stitches?
269
00:11:32,825 --> 00:11:35,316
That's where Don Rickles
stabbed me with a fork.
270
00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:38,397
Truth be told,
I had recently stabbed him with two forks.
271
00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:42,831
Listen, Dicky...
272
00:11:43,602 --> 00:11:45,229
There's not gonna be a show.
273
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,002
What the hell are you talking about?
274
00:11:47,106 --> 00:11:48,630
It's Charlene.
275
00:11:49,141 --> 00:11:50,335
She's bad.
276
00:11:50,676 --> 00:11:52,735
Charlene's always bad.
277
00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:54,837
- Come on...
- She got you, Dicky.
278
00:11:55,581 --> 00:11:57,071
This time, she got you.
279
00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:06,624
In that case, I got to do the show.
280
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:07,954
I got to do it.
281
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:09,990
I'm sorry.
282
00:12:10,763 --> 00:12:14,597
The medically responsible thing to do
is to keep you here,
283
00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:16,658
monitored, comfortable...
284
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:19,204
Hey! I'm not comfortable, okay?
285
00:12:19,271 --> 00:12:20,863
This place stinks.
286
00:12:20,940 --> 00:12:23,374
And the only alcohol they got
is the kind you can't drink.
287
00:12:24,276 --> 00:12:25,436
Dicky...
288
00:12:25,511 --> 00:12:27,035
Look, Doc.
289
00:12:27,113 --> 00:12:28,637
The club is my home.
290
00:12:30,716 --> 00:12:31,774
Let me go home.
291
00:12:33,252 --> 00:12:34,378
I can't.
292
00:12:35,654 --> 00:12:36,848
I thought you were my friend.
293
00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:39,254
I am, but I'm also your doctor.
294
00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:40,724
Yeah, well,
doctors are supposed to help people.
295
00:12:40,793 --> 00:12:42,693
- I am helping you.
- No, you're not.
296
00:12:43,162 --> 00:12:44,424
You're worse than Charlene.
297
00:12:45,464 --> 00:12:46,658
Goodbye.
298
00:12:50,836 --> 00:12:52,736
What? Oh, for goodness' sake.
299
00:12:52,805 --> 00:12:54,466
Okay, well, well, they sometimes jam.
300
00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:56,303
- You just press and I'll pull.
- I'm pressing. I'm pressing.
301
00:12:56,375 --> 00:12:58,172
You pressed the wrong button.
Just press the other button.
302
00:12:58,244 --> 00:12:59,268
I'm pressing the other one.
303
00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:01,279
Okay, well, now you just turned on the TV.
304
00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:02,780
Oh, get hell out of here.
305
00:13:14,994 --> 00:13:17,428
I just wish
I could help Dicky do one last show.
306
00:13:17,496 --> 00:13:18,724
I know.
307
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:19,992
But try to remember how much
308
00:13:20,065 --> 00:13:21,794
you have helped him through the years.
309
00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:22,959
True.
310
00:13:23,035 --> 00:13:24,229
I treated his hypertension,
311
00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:26,464
his cholesterol, his adulterer's knee.
312
00:13:28,774 --> 00:13:30,605
Don't beat yourself up over it.
313
00:13:30,676 --> 00:13:32,769
That's what I realized
about my thing with Kate.
314
00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:34,972
At some point,
you just have to let go and move on.
315
00:13:35,347 --> 00:13:37,008
Good for you, Mom. You've moved on.
316
00:13:37,082 --> 00:13:40,017
I haven't moved on. I just said I should.
317
00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:41,814
Wait. What did you say?
318
00:13:41,887 --> 00:13:44,754
- I should move on.
- "Move." That's it!
319
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,621
- Where are you going?
- I've got an idea,
320
00:13:46,692 --> 00:13:49,923
and it's so crazy that it just might work!
321
00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:53,123
Actually, it's not that crazy,
but it just might work!
322
00:13:56,135 --> 00:13:58,365
Dave, you've barely touched your dinner.
323
00:13:58,804 --> 00:14:00,135
I ate too many sweets.
324
00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:02,800
Now my tummy and my butt
aren't friends anymore.
325
00:14:04,310 --> 00:14:06,107
Serves you right, show-off.
326
00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:08,578
That's what you get
for brushing your teeth with pudding.
327
00:14:09,882 --> 00:14:11,679
My mistake was hubris.
328
00:14:13,385 --> 00:14:16,377
This all happened
because you took us to the dentist together.
329
00:14:16,488 --> 00:14:18,046
I want to go to my next appointment alone.
330
00:14:18,123 --> 00:14:19,715
Wait. What did you just say?
331
00:14:20,259 --> 00:14:22,159
I want to go to my next appointment alone?
332
00:14:22,928 --> 00:14:25,226
"Appointment." That's it!
333
00:14:25,297 --> 00:14:27,026
I have to rearrange my schedule tomorrow.
334
00:14:27,132 --> 00:14:30,329
I'm gonna get to the bottom of
this Kate thing once and for all.
335
00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:32,933
Why is everyone having sudden realizations
336
00:14:33,005 --> 00:14:34,336
based on what other people are saying?
337
00:14:34,740 --> 00:14:36,571
"Based on." That's it!
338
00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:40,307
Seriously? What did you realize?
339
00:14:40,679 --> 00:14:42,772
Nothing. I just want to be included.
340
00:14:51,123 --> 00:14:52,988
Good morning, Pat, Julie...
341
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:57,195
Person whose pants are on fire
because she's a liar, liar.
342
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:02,693
Clark, I know you had no way to know this,
343
00:15:02,768 --> 00:15:05,498
but my Uncle Howard died in a pants fire.
344
00:15:09,975 --> 00:15:11,533
It's just lunch, Clark.
345
00:15:11,710 --> 00:15:13,337
Is this about the mulch and cave scrapings
346
00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:15,004
you made everyone eat yesterday?
347
00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:18,541
How long are you
gonna stay mad at me about this?
348
00:15:18,617 --> 00:15:20,107
23 days.
349
00:15:20,185 --> 00:15:21,311
(SCOFFS)
350
00:15:21,387 --> 00:15:22,911
No.
351
00:15:22,988 --> 00:15:25,081
23 business days.
352
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:29,757
Morning, Mr. Clark.
353
00:15:29,828 --> 00:15:31,193
Here's a veggie breakfast burrito
354
00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:33,697
to repay you for giving me
your lunch yesterday.
355
00:15:39,538 --> 00:15:41,699
(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)
I don't know what you're talking about.
356
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:45,210
Remember? You said
it was a banh mi, but soon it would be in me.
357
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,344
You gave Juan-Julio your lunch yesterday?
358
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,008
It's just...
359
00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:54,415
I didn't like it.
360
00:15:57,189 --> 00:15:58,713
(STUTTERING) I couldn't admit it
361
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,588
because I had talked up vegan food so much,
362
00:16:00,659 --> 00:16:02,490
but I guess vegan restaurants
363
00:16:02,561 --> 00:16:03,926
are just like other restaurants.
364
00:16:03,996 --> 00:16:05,964
Sometimes they suck.
365
00:16:06,031 --> 00:16:08,761
Always they suck.
366
00:16:10,936 --> 00:16:13,564
I'm just... I'm so sorry, Damona.
367
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:16,665
Please, can we never
let food come between us again?
368
00:16:18,344 --> 00:16:20,244
- Okay. (CHUCKLES)
- Okay.
369
00:16:20,846 --> 00:16:22,746
Except for ice cream cake.
370
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,783
Where there's ice cream cake,
there are no friends.
371
00:16:24,850 --> 00:16:27,580
I will blind a bitch for some ice cream cake.
372
00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:31,448
(GAGS)
373
00:16:32,925 --> 00:16:34,916
Oh, I'm sorry, Juan-Julio.
374
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,154
It's just, this burrito tastes...
375
00:16:36,228 --> 00:16:37,889
Gross. I know.
376
00:16:37,963 --> 00:16:39,658
It's payback for giving me your nasty lunch.
377
00:16:44,036 --> 00:16:45,663
So we understand each other.
378
00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:52,173
Have a wonderful day of smiles, everybody!
379
00:17:08,427 --> 00:17:09,519
Kate!
380
00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:11,595
Wow! Twice in one week.
381
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:12,990
Yeah.
382
00:17:13,065 --> 00:17:14,327
What are you doing here?
383
00:17:15,334 --> 00:17:17,996
I was about to see my...
384
00:17:18,070 --> 00:17:19,901
Lactation consultant.
385
00:17:21,473 --> 00:17:23,407
I haven't breastfed in over a decade.
386
00:17:23,475 --> 00:17:24,806
Just want to make sure everything works
387
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:26,276
in case I go back to it.
388
00:17:27,212 --> 00:17:29,703
You know, the kids eat
so much junk. (CHUCKLES)
389
00:17:31,417 --> 00:17:32,748
Right.
390
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:36,654
So, uh, I, I see you've got a new therapist.
391
00:17:37,089 --> 00:17:38,681
Look, Dr. Park...
392
00:17:38,757 --> 00:17:40,349
No need to explain. (CHUCKLES)
393
00:17:40,426 --> 00:17:41,791
I'm a professional.
394
00:17:41,860 --> 00:17:44,055
I'm sure you had your reasons
for ending our sessions.
395
00:17:44,129 --> 00:17:45,494
Oh, thank you. I appreciate that.
396
00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:47,156
So, what were they?
397
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,731
Kate. Is everything okay?
398
00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:50,996
Uh, nope.
399
00:17:51,136 --> 00:17:53,798
Dr. Humes, this is Dr. Park.
400
00:17:53,872 --> 00:17:55,897
She used to be my therapist.
401
00:17:55,974 --> 00:17:57,839
- Mmm.
- Hi. Oh. Yep.
402
00:18:01,346 --> 00:18:03,109
You guys seem really good together.
403
00:18:03,182 --> 00:18:05,275
Kate is a pleasure to treat.
404
00:18:05,350 --> 00:18:06,681
She communicates very well.
405
00:18:06,785 --> 00:18:09,219
Yeah, well,
I kind of taught her how to do that,
406
00:18:09,288 --> 00:18:11,153
so... (CHUCKLES) You're welcome.
407
00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:13,815
Dr. Park, is something wrong?
408
00:18:14,159 --> 00:18:15,956
No... Actually, yes.
409
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:17,689
Kate left me and lied about it.
410
00:18:19,131 --> 00:18:21,326
Now she's out gallivanting around
with her hot new piece
411
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:23,493
while I'm stuck at home with the kids.
412
00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:27,839
Dr. Park, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings.
413
00:18:27,906 --> 00:18:29,737
I just wanted to see what else was out there.
414
00:18:30,709 --> 00:18:31,903
Oh.
415
00:18:31,977 --> 00:18:34,605
So, it was nothing I did?
416
00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:36,139
No.
417
00:18:36,215 --> 00:18:37,978
In fact, you're the one who taught me
418
00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:39,779
to venture out and explore new options.
419
00:18:39,918 --> 00:18:42,648
Oh, right. (CHUCKLES) I did do that.
420
00:18:44,890 --> 00:18:48,382
Anyway, uh, it was nice to see you/meet you.
421
00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:50,087
(LAUGHS) Okay.
422
00:18:50,162 --> 00:18:51,629
Oh, what about your appointment?
423
00:18:51,697 --> 00:18:53,688
Oh, right, yes. This whole...
424
00:18:53,765 --> 00:18:54,959
Yeah.
425
00:18:57,603 --> 00:19:00,071
So, can you come at 10:00
next week instead of 11:00?
426
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:01,697
- Oh, I think so.
- Good.
427
00:19:05,677 --> 00:19:07,076
Yeah.
428
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,340
Okay. Yep.
429
00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:19,017
Are you ready?
430
00:19:19,091 --> 00:19:20,456
Ready as I'll ever be.
431
00:19:20,859 --> 00:19:22,451
(EKG BEEPING STEADILY)
432
00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:25,357
Ladies and gentlemen,
433
00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:27,123
live from Welltopia's East Tower,
434
00:19:27,199 --> 00:19:30,464
the one and only Dicky Wexler!
435
00:19:30,536 --> 00:19:32,299
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
436
00:19:33,739 --> 00:19:35,172
DICKY: Good to see you. Good to see you.
437
00:19:35,607 --> 00:19:36,699
Ta-da!
438
00:19:36,775 --> 00:19:38,367
(ALL CHEERING)
439
00:19:39,745 --> 00:19:41,269
Hey, great intro, Doc.
440
00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:43,075
If only you were that good at curing cancer,
441
00:19:43,148 --> 00:19:44,342
I'd be on a beach right now.
442
00:19:44,416 --> 00:19:45,940
(ALL LAUGH)
443
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,816
My future ex-wife is here.
444
00:19:48,887 --> 00:19:50,718
Hey, dollface, how about a sponge bath?
445
00:19:50,789 --> 00:19:52,279
And if that goes well, you can give me one.
446
00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:53,756
(ALL LAUGH)
447
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:57,025
What happens when you take
a blob of cookie dough,
448
00:19:57,095 --> 00:19:59,461
you put it in a cheap suit,
and you give it chlamydia?
449
00:20:00,065 --> 00:20:01,896
I don't know. Ask this guy.
It's his life story.
450
00:20:01,967 --> 00:20:03,264
(ALL LAUGH)
451
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:09,204
Very funny, but, seriously,
I, I do not have any STDs.
452
00:20:09,274 --> 00:20:11,105
Bug-free since '93.
453
00:20:11,176 --> 00:20:12,473
Ah.
454
00:20:14,746 --> 00:20:16,771
Hey, hey, hey, hey, You're a great audience.
455
00:20:16,848 --> 00:20:17,872
Not great-looking.
456
00:20:18,016 --> 00:20:19,711
I mean, come on. Look at you people.
457
00:20:19,785 --> 00:20:22,253
A truck-stop gift shop
doesn't have this many ugly mugs.
458
00:20:22,321 --> 00:20:23,811
(ALL LAUGH)
459
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:25,652
We are not attractive.
460
00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:27,385
(ALL LAUGHING)
461
00:20:39,438 --> 00:20:41,497
DICKY: Man, it's great to be
back at the Tropicana.
462
00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:43,473
I lost my bag at the airport.
463
00:20:43,542 --> 00:20:45,601
To be honest, she was ready
to leave me anyway.
464
00:20:45,677 --> 00:20:46,871
(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
465
00:20:46,945 --> 00:20:49,106
I tell you, Vegas sure is
different than New York.
466
00:20:49,181 --> 00:20:50,876
Here, you ask for a corned beef sandwich,
467
00:20:50,949 --> 00:20:53,179
a hooker takes you up
to your hotel room and robs you.
468
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:54,685
- (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
- Hey, don't tell my wife.
469
00:20:54,753 --> 00:20:56,050
I'm not supposed to eat corned beef.
470
00:20:56,121 --> 00:20:57,247
(LAUGHS)
471
00:20:57,322 --> 00:21:00,485
I joke about my wife,
but to be honest, I love my mistress.
472
00:21:00,559 --> 00:21:01,651
(CHUCKLES)
473
00:21:04,396 --> 00:21:06,125
See you when I see you, pal.
474
00:21:09,468 --> 00:21:10,901
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
475
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:16,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll