﻿1
00:00:17,048 --> 00:00:19,033
<i>Previously on</i> The Last Man on Earth...

2
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Maybe you should both go
by your middle names.

3
00:00:21,003 --> 00:00:22,897
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Phil, what's your middle name?

4
00:00:22,898 --> 00:00:25,500
- Tandy.
- Phil, what's your middle name?

5
00:00:26,542 --> 00:00:27,602
- I don't have a middle name.
- Can you believe that guy?!

6
00:00:27,636 --> 00:00:29,537
<i>He beats me up, he
tries to steal my wife</i>

7
00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:31,606
<i>while he's got a bun in Erica's oven.</i>

8
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Hey, Tandy. You want to go get a drink?

9
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I'd love to!

10
00:00:35,044 --> 00:00:37,312
I wish I was a lot more like you.

11
00:00:37,346 --> 00:00:38,346
Todd, will you marry me?

12
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(Phil 2 groans) Phil!

13
00:00:39,515 --> 00:00:40,848
Phil? Oh, my God.

14
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GAIL: <i>No, no, no,</i>

15
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<i>something's wrong!</i>

16
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(long, steady beep)

17
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TODD: ♪ I get knocked down ♪

18
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♪ But I get up again ♪

19
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♪ Ain't never gonna keep me down ♪

20
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♪ I get knocked down ♪

21
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(softly): ♪ But I get up again ♪

22
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♪ Never gonna... ♪

23
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(crying): ♪ Keep me down. ♪

24
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TANDY: Thank you, Todd, Gail,

25
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for that beautiful rendition

26
00:01:04,506 --> 00:01:05,973
of what I can only imagine

27
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is one of Phil's favorite songs.

28
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Phil Miller got knocked down,

29
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and this time, he did not get up again.

30
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We raise a whiskey drink,

31
00:01:16,452 --> 00:01:18,252
we raise a vodka drink.

32
00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:19,887
What a hero.

33
00:01:19,922 --> 00:01:22,290
That is why today, we send him off

34
00:01:22,324 --> 00:01:25,526
the only way that truly makes sense...

35
00:01:25,561 --> 00:01:27,595
a Viking funeral.

36
00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:29,497
ERICA: Tandy, I told you,

37
00:01:29,531 --> 00:01:31,666
Phil wouldn't have wanted this.

38
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No, this is not what he would've wanted,

39
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but this is what he deserves.

40
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I'm sorry that I couldn't save you.

41
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(sighs)

42
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You did your best, Gail.

43
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Good-bye, Phil.

44
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We'll miss you.

45
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(crying) I know.

46
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(accordion plays random notes)

47
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I know.

48
00:02:05,734 --> 00:02:08,303
Buck up, bub.

49
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You can do it.

50
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And now, I would like to say

51
00:02:11,273 --> 00:02:13,374
my own personal good-bye to Phil.

52
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(chuckles)

53
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(laughs)

54
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(sighs)

55
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And now we send him to the sea.

56
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♪ He belongs to the sea ♪

57
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♪ He belongs to the ocean ♪

58
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♪ Phil belongs... ♪

59
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Tandy, you need a hand, bud?

60
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No, I would like to do this, Todd.

61
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I got this.

62
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♪ He belongs to the sea ♪

63
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♪ He belongs to the ocean ♪

64
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(groaning)

65
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♪ Ocean ♪

66
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♪ Whenever we rely on ourselves ♪

67
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♪ For worse or for better... ♪

68
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Peace, bud.

69
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Hero.

70
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Honor.

71
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Burn, casket, burn!

72
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(groans)

73
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I honor you!

74
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Peace!

75
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Honor!

76
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Damn it!

77
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Hero.

78
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Honor and...

79
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Damn it!

80
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(stammering)

81
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And, according to ancient law,

82
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the requirements of the
Viking funeral have been met.

83
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Uh, Valhalla!

84
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Uh, honor, hero!

85
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Amen.

86
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(squeals)

87
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Sync and corrections by peterbrito
www.addic7ed.com

88
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I still can't believe
I beefed the finale.

89
00:03:46,201 --> 00:03:48,603
I mean, Phil deserved a bull's-eye.

90
00:03:50,339 --> 00:03:53,474
Hey, your speech was a bull's-eye.

91
00:03:53,509 --> 00:03:55,176
Well, Carol,

92
00:03:55,211 --> 00:03:56,511
the heart's aim is always true

93
00:03:56,545 --> 00:03:58,680
when it's dancing like
no one's watching.

94
00:03:58,714 --> 00:03:59,747
I mean,

95
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Phil was like a brother to me.

96
00:04:01,383 --> 00:04:02,383
I don't know about that.

97
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He was.

98
00:04:03,519 --> 00:04:04,652
I mean, sure,

99
00:04:04,687 --> 00:04:05,720
we had some ups and downs,

100
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but we ended it on a real high.

101
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You wouldn't understand,

102
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'cause you never had a brother.

103
00:04:10,192 --> 00:04:11,659
Okay, you didn't get a
chance to say good-bye

104
00:04:11,694 --> 00:04:13,294
to your own brother,

105
00:04:13,329 --> 00:04:15,163
so now you're projecting this onto Phil.

106
00:04:15,197 --> 00:04:18,366
Okay, this has nothing to
do with my brother, okay?

107
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:21,102
I mean, except for the fact
that Phil was like my brother,

108
00:04:21,136 --> 00:04:23,371
and I never got a chance
to say good-bye to him.

109
00:04:23,405 --> 00:04:25,106
It's just too bad, because I think

110
00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:27,141
if his body had successfully
gone up in flames,

111
00:04:27,176 --> 00:04:29,244
it would've lifted everyone's spirits.

112
00:04:29,278 --> 00:04:31,479
Well, you know what would've
raised everyone's spirits?

113
00:04:31,513 --> 00:04:33,882
Todd saying yes to Melissa's proposal.

114
00:04:33,916 --> 00:04:35,550
(chuckles) Well, you know Toddler.

115
00:04:35,584 --> 00:04:37,285
You know, dude's a lifelong bachelor.

116
00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:38,152
(chuckles)

117
00:04:40,723 --> 00:04:42,757
I'm gonna go talk some
sense into that moron.

118
00:04:42,791 --> 00:04:44,859
Okay, but wait, Carol, Carol.

119
00:04:44,894 --> 00:04:46,394
There's something I have to tell you.

120
00:04:46,428 --> 00:04:47,829
This is gonna be hard to hear.

121
00:04:47,863 --> 00:04:49,697
Then I'll move in closer.

122
00:04:52,468 --> 00:04:53,801
Todd and Gail are boning.

123
00:04:53,836 --> 00:04:56,237
(whispering): Cheese and rice!

124
00:04:56,272 --> 00:04:57,605
Todd didn't do anything wrong.

125
00:04:57,640 --> 00:04:59,407
He and Melissa had already broken up.

126
00:04:59,441 --> 00:05:00,975
I have to tell Melissa.

127
00:05:01,010 --> 00:05:02,810
Carol, you can't. Todd
swore me to secrecy.

128
00:05:02,845 --> 00:05:04,379
Well, Melissa's my best friend,

129
00:05:04,413 --> 00:05:05,713
and she is getting boned against.

130
00:05:05,748 --> 00:05:07,482
And I'm your husband.

131
00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:09,584
Okay? So promise me you
won't say anything.

132
00:05:10,753 --> 00:05:12,186
Okay, I promise.

133
00:05:13,455 --> 00:05:15,690
Let me see those hands.

134
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Good catch.

135
00:05:24,767 --> 00:05:26,201
Hey, hon bun.

136
00:05:26,235 --> 00:05:27,368
Hey, bub.

137
00:05:27,403 --> 00:05:28,770
Aw, come on, Gail.

138
00:05:28,804 --> 00:05:30,738
I'm sorry about all that...

139
00:05:30,773 --> 00:05:32,373
buck up stuff at the funeral.

140
00:05:32,512 --> 00:05:33,813
I...

141
00:05:33,847 --> 00:05:35,081
I was just a little freaked out

142
00:05:35,115 --> 00:05:36,716
'cause I think Melissa noticed us.

143
00:05:36,750 --> 00:05:38,317
Well, so what?

144
00:05:38,351 --> 00:05:40,352
Isn't it about time
she found out anyway?

145
00:05:40,387 --> 00:05:42,021
Well, today's probably not
the best day, you know?

146
00:05:42,055 --> 00:05:43,522
And what is the best day

147
00:05:43,557 --> 00:05:45,624
to find out that your ex-boyfriend's

148
00:05:45,659 --> 00:05:47,993
doing the devil's work with
the lady down the hall?

149
00:05:48,028 --> 00:05:49,495
Well, have you told Gordon

150
00:05:49,529 --> 00:05:51,097
about us yet?

151
00:05:55,402 --> 00:05:57,436
(chuckles)

152
00:05:57,471 --> 00:05:59,572
Oh, Todd, I know you're probably right.

153
00:05:59,606 --> 00:06:02,308
Everybody's dealing with as much
as they can deal with right now.

154
00:06:02,342 --> 00:06:03,976
Just take all the time you need.

155
00:06:04,011 --> 00:06:05,544
Thank you, Gail.

156
00:06:05,579 --> 00:06:08,047
Well, I should probably head out.

157
00:06:09,950 --> 00:06:11,751
Well, thanks again, Gail.

158
00:06:11,785 --> 00:06:14,387
I will start wearing more hats.

159
00:06:14,421 --> 00:06:16,422
See you later, bub.

160
00:06:16,456 --> 00:06:18,224
(whispering): Good cover.

161
00:06:31,171 --> 00:06:32,605
Carol!

162
00:06:32,639 --> 00:06:34,307
Oh, hi!

163
00:06:34,341 --> 00:06:37,009
Sorry, I didn't see you there!

164
00:06:37,044 --> 00:06:38,144
I'm breaking all your ornaments!

165
00:06:38,178 --> 00:06:39,111
Oh.

166
00:06:39,146 --> 00:06:40,446
(chuckles)

167
00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:41,814
'Kay.

168
00:06:41,848 --> 00:06:43,316
Yeah, I promise I'll get you some more.

169
00:06:43,350 --> 00:06:44,984
I just needed to break
all these real quick.

170
00:06:45,018 --> 00:06:46,652
Yeah, I'd love to talk, hon,

171
00:06:46,687 --> 00:06:47,920
but I'm just, I can't.

172
00:06:47,955 --> 00:06:49,355
You know the drill.

173
00:06:49,389 --> 00:06:50,423
What would I want to talk about?

174
00:06:50,457 --> 00:06:51,424
You know,

175
00:06:51,458 --> 00:06:52,958
Phil dying.

176
00:06:52,993 --> 00:06:55,027
The other thing.

177
00:06:55,062 --> 00:06:57,730
Todd's rejection of my proposal?

178
00:06:57,764 --> 00:06:58,864
Goldang it, Melissa!

179
00:06:58,899 --> 00:07:00,166
I said I can't talk right now,

180
00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:01,667
and I'd love for you to honor that!

181
00:07:01,702 --> 00:07:04,036
(chuckles) It's all good, Carol.

182
00:07:04,071 --> 00:07:05,471
Okay, talk soon.

183
00:07:05,505 --> 00:07:06,806
Yeah, hell, yeah.

184
00:07:09,242 --> 00:07:11,210
TANDY: <i>Phil and I had a bumpy ride,</i>

185
00:07:11,244 --> 00:07:14,447
uh, but I wouldn't change
a cottonpickin' thing

186
00:07:14,481 --> 00:07:16,716
'cause it led us to our destination:

187
00:07:16,750 --> 00:07:17,783
brotherhood.

188
00:07:17,818 --> 00:07:19,185
You know, for any of you

189
00:07:19,219 --> 00:07:20,886
who might be struggling with closure,

190
00:07:20,921 --> 00:07:22,588
unresolved feelings,

191
00:07:22,622 --> 00:07:23,923
and shoulda, woulda, coulda's,

192
00:07:23,957 --> 00:07:26,425
uh, I wrote a song that, uh,

193
00:07:26,460 --> 00:07:28,094
tells you how great I feel.

194
00:07:28,128 --> 00:07:29,895
Oh, you guys are gonna love it.

195
00:07:29,930 --> 00:07:31,163
He's been practicing.

196
00:07:31,198 --> 00:07:32,798
This is called "The Story of Us."

197
00:07:35,502 --> 00:07:36,502
(tuning)

198
00:07:51,618 --> 00:07:55,588
♪ Have you ever had a
shoulda, coulda, woulda ♪

199
00:07:55,622 --> 00:07:58,057
♪ Sittin' right on your face ♪

200
00:07:58,091 --> 00:08:01,093
♪ And you think about the did that ♪

201
00:08:01,128 --> 00:08:02,862
♪ Done that, finished that ♪

202
00:08:02,896 --> 00:08:05,498
♪ That coulda been in its place ♪

203
00:08:05,532 --> 00:08:07,833
♪ Well, the second one's
what happened to me ♪

204
00:08:09,136 --> 00:08:12,638
♪ I finished all my business ♪

205
00:08:12,673 --> 00:08:15,808
♪ Gotta say good-bye to your friends ♪

206
00:08:15,842 --> 00:08:20,112
♪ 'Cause you never know when
their life's gonna end ♪

207
00:08:20,147 --> 00:08:21,747
♪ I'm over you ♪

208
00:08:21,782 --> 00:08:23,783
♪ I miss you, but I'm over you... ♪

209
00:08:23,817 --> 00:08:25,251
(sobbing)

210
00:08:25,285 --> 00:08:26,519
(snorts)

211
00:08:27,821 --> 00:08:29,355
(whispering): Get it together.

212
00:08:30,857 --> 00:08:32,058
♪ Closure, closure ♪

213
00:08:32,092 --> 00:08:33,059
♪ Closure, closure, closure ♪

214
00:08:33,093 --> 00:08:35,561
♪ Closure in my bones ♪

215
00:08:35,596 --> 00:08:36,963
♪ And my skin ♪

216
00:08:36,997 --> 00:08:37,964
♪ Closure, closure... ♪

217
00:08:37,998 --> 00:08:39,732
(crying)

218
00:08:39,766 --> 00:08:42,001
♪ Closure, closure, closure ♪

219
00:08:42,035 --> 00:08:44,937
♪ Put them hands together ♪

220
00:08:44,972 --> 00:08:46,772
♪ For closure. ♪

221
00:08:46,807 --> 00:08:48,107
(crying)

222
00:08:48,141 --> 00:08:49,742
Thank you. I have to leave.

223
00:08:49,776 --> 00:08:51,344
CAROL: We-We're working on an ending,

224
00:08:51,378 --> 00:08:54,046
but I'm just so happy
he's found closure.

225
00:08:55,682 --> 00:08:57,283
(clears throat)

226
00:08:57,317 --> 00:08:58,551
(sighs)

227
00:09:01,788 --> 00:09:05,984
♪ Closure, closure,
closure, closure, closure ♪

228
00:09:07,674 --> 00:09:09,169
♪ Closure, closure ♪

229
00:09:09,203 --> 00:09:10,770
♪ Closure, mm... ♪

230
00:09:12,139 --> 00:09:12,939
Hey, Melissa.

231
00:09:14,375 --> 00:09:16,427
Chewing on your boots there?

232
00:09:16,428 --> 00:09:18,295
Yeah, I'm just un-bedazzling
Carol's boots with my teeth.

233
00:09:18,330 --> 00:09:19,563
These are the boots I was wearing

234
00:09:19,598 --> 00:09:20,931
when I proposed to you.

235
00:09:20,966 --> 00:09:22,533
I'm doing great.

236
00:09:23,886 --> 00:09:25,088
- You okay?
- Yeah.

237
00:09:25,089 --> 00:09:27,130
What part of "I'm doing
great" do you not understand?

238
00:09:27,164 --> 00:09:28,598
Uh, you-you-you got some, uh, glitter

239
00:09:28,632 --> 00:09:29,799
on, in your face there.

240
00:09:29,834 --> 00:09:30,734
What?!

241
00:09:30,768 --> 00:09:32,936
God, that's good news.

242
00:09:32,970 --> 00:09:35,905
Okay, well, I'm gonna,
I'll leave you to it.

243
00:09:35,940 --> 00:09:37,006
(chuckles)

244
00:09:37,041 --> 00:09:38,842
- Todd?
- Yeah?

245
00:09:38,876 --> 00:09:42,012
Would you maybe want to
watch TV with me later?

246
00:09:42,046 --> 00:09:44,848
Just as friends.

247
00:09:44,882 --> 00:09:46,082
Uh...

248
00:09:46,117 --> 00:09:47,250
I'm great,

249
00:09:47,284 --> 00:09:48,818
so it doesn't matter either way.

250
00:09:48,853 --> 00:09:50,620
Regardless of what you
decide, it's fine,

251
00:09:50,654 --> 00:09:52,188
'cause even if you have
plans, I'm doing great.

252
00:09:52,223 --> 00:09:53,156
(chuckles)

253
00:09:53,190 --> 00:09:54,691
Ah, I got no plans.

254
00:09:54,725 --> 00:09:57,027
I mean, come on, what
plans would I have?

255
00:09:57,061 --> 00:09:58,361
(laughter)

256
00:09:58,396 --> 00:09:59,729
All right, so it's a date, well, date...

257
00:09:59,764 --> 00:10:01,831
Not a date, an appointment.

258
00:10:01,866 --> 00:10:02,866
Great!

259
00:10:02,900 --> 00:10:04,868
You want this open or closed?

260
00:10:04,902 --> 00:10:05,869
Open.

261
00:10:05,903 --> 00:10:08,004
Okay.

262
00:10:08,039 --> 00:10:11,741
TANDY: <i>Ah, Phil, your room
seems so empty without you.</i>

263
00:10:11,776 --> 00:10:12,776
(sighs)

264
00:10:12,810 --> 00:10:15,412
I miss you so much, my brother.

265
00:10:15,446 --> 00:10:18,415
I just wish there was some way
that I could feel closer to you.

266
00:10:27,992 --> 00:10:29,859
I remember when I first met you.

267
00:10:31,862 --> 00:10:33,830
(in deep voice): "Does
this guy belong to you?"

268
00:10:33,864 --> 00:10:35,331
"Gas goes bad.

269
00:10:35,366 --> 00:10:37,667
Doesn't anybody remember
me telling you that?"

270
00:10:37,702 --> 00:10:40,103
"No, I just don't want
you to be president."

271
00:10:40,137 --> 00:10:42,906
"He poops in the ocean
in front of our house

272
00:10:42,940 --> 00:10:44,674
every damn day."

273
00:10:44,709 --> 00:10:46,109
"Tandy, go away."

274
00:10:47,178 --> 00:10:48,311
"It's appendicitis."

275
00:10:48,346 --> 00:10:49,713
(crying)

276
00:10:55,386 --> 00:10:59,289
"Tandy. Tandy.

277
00:10:59,323 --> 00:11:00,924
You want to go get a drink?"

278
00:11:03,260 --> 00:11:04,994
I'd like that, Phil.

279
00:11:05,029 --> 00:11:06,296
(chuckles)

280
00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:17,907
(inhales)

281
00:11:19,110 --> 00:11:20,744
(exhales, sobs)

282
00:11:22,747 --> 00:11:25,348
Nice hair, George Jefferson.

283
00:11:25,383 --> 00:11:27,117
Oh, if you were here right now,

284
00:11:27,151 --> 00:11:29,853
I'd be busting your Cs so hard,

285
00:11:29,887 --> 00:11:32,122
"Philip Stacy Miller."

286
00:11:32,156 --> 00:11:35,358
Wait a minute...

287
00:11:35,393 --> 00:11:37,894
Stacy?

288
00:11:37,928 --> 00:11:40,163
(playing minor chords)

289
00:11:43,234 --> 00:11:45,235
Hey, there, hon bun.

290
00:11:45,269 --> 00:11:46,836
Hey, shoog.

291
00:11:46,871 --> 00:11:48,738
Would you mind closing
that door behind you

292
00:11:48,773 --> 00:11:50,607
'cause things are about
to get real physical.

293
00:11:54,111 --> 00:11:55,779
How you doing?

294
00:11:55,813 --> 00:11:57,781
Well, I'm feeling pretty
guilty about Phil's death

295
00:11:57,815 --> 00:11:59,616
and for some reason I can't explain,

296
00:11:59,650 --> 00:12:01,651
that is just making me feel really horny

297
00:12:01,686 --> 00:12:03,486
and then I feel like, "Uh, I'm so wrong,

298
00:12:03,521 --> 00:12:05,455
I'm so bad," and that just amps up

299
00:12:05,489 --> 00:12:07,190
my horniness and I just feel like

300
00:12:07,224 --> 00:12:10,260
the dog is just chasing
its tail on this one,

301
00:12:10,294 --> 00:12:12,329
it's just a vicious,
vicious cycle, so...

302
00:12:12,363 --> 00:12:13,964
get those pants off.

303
00:12:13,998 --> 00:12:16,066
Oh. Oh, man, yeah, that sounds great.

304
00:12:16,100 --> 00:12:17,534
Man, yeah.

305
00:12:17,568 --> 00:12:19,202
I don't hear any buttons popping, Todd.

306
00:12:19,236 --> 00:12:20,337
Well, you know, here's the thing,

307
00:12:20,371 --> 00:12:22,005
it's just, I kind of...

308
00:12:22,039 --> 00:12:23,974
I kind of made plans with Melissa.

309
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:43,968
I see.

310
00:12:43,969 --> 00:12:46,429
Yeah, so I'm just gonna pop over there,
you know, real quick, show my face,

311
00:12:46,464 --> 00:12:47,831
and then I'm gonna zip back here,

312
00:12:47,865 --> 00:12:49,763
get those pants off. If that's okay.

313
00:12:49,764 --> 00:12:51,267
Okay, Todd.

314
00:12:51,302 --> 00:12:52,802
You just do you thing.

315
00:12:52,837 --> 00:12:55,505
You know, I'm gonna be right back.
Okay? So...

316
00:12:55,539 --> 00:12:57,240
(loudly): And, uh, thank you

317
00:12:57,275 --> 00:12:59,843
for telling me how stucco is made.

318
00:12:59,877 --> 00:13:01,845
I'll see you later, bub.

319
00:13:01,879 --> 00:13:03,880
(door closes)

320
00:13:03,914 --> 00:13:05,982
"Bub."

321
00:13:06,017 --> 00:13:08,084
TANDY: <i>Friggin' turkey actually
did have a middle name.</i>

322
00:13:08,119 --> 00:13:09,719
"Stacy."

323
00:13:09,754 --> 00:13:11,254
I mean, it's flat-out a girl's name.

324
00:13:11,289 --> 00:13:12,355
No offense, Stacy.

325
00:13:12,390 --> 00:13:14,991
Oh, I miss you, bud.

326
00:13:15,026 --> 00:13:17,394
Miss you with all my heart.

327
00:13:17,428 --> 00:13:20,096
(sobbing)

328
00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:24,100
I know a man's not supposed to cry,

329
00:13:24,135 --> 00:13:26,836
but most men don't get
a chance to experience

330
00:13:26,871 --> 00:13:29,005
the kind of friendship
that Phil and I had.

331
00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:30,473
Now it's over.

332
00:13:30,508 --> 00:13:33,043
He just left without a trace.

333
00:13:35,179 --> 00:13:36,613
Or did he?

334
00:13:41,566 --> 00:13:43,101
G'day.

335
00:13:43,549 --> 00:13:45,322
Look, Erica,

336
00:13:45,356 --> 00:13:47,023
I know you're scared

337
00:13:47,058 --> 00:13:49,526
and hurting and full
of worries right now.

338
00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:51,494
But I'm here to take one of
those worries off your plate

339
00:13:51,529 --> 00:13:53,930
and eat it raw.

340
00:13:53,965 --> 00:13:57,133
I will be the father to your baby.

341
00:13:57,168 --> 00:13:59,436
That's a... a nice offer...

342
00:13:59,470 --> 00:14:01,471
Come on, it's what Phil
and I would have wanted,

343
00:14:01,505 --> 00:14:03,540
so please accept our gift,

344
00:14:03,574 --> 00:14:05,275
this cradle, that Phil built

345
00:14:05,309 --> 00:14:07,177
and that I fixed.

346
00:14:07,211 --> 00:14:09,112
(chuckles)

347
00:14:09,146 --> 00:14:11,047
Knew I should've gone with masking tape.

348
00:14:11,082 --> 00:14:13,083
Huh.

349
00:14:13,117 --> 00:14:14,417
Hey.

350
00:14:15,953 --> 00:14:17,887
Come here.

351
00:14:17,922 --> 00:14:20,423
- Um...
- (Tandy laughs)

352
00:14:20,458 --> 00:14:22,192
I can't believe we're doing this.

353
00:14:22,226 --> 00:14:24,861
(Tandy laughing)

354
00:14:24,895 --> 00:14:27,163
Yeah... about that...

355
00:14:27,198 --> 00:14:30,033
the second-to-last thing

356
00:14:30,067 --> 00:14:31,468
that Phil said to me

357
00:14:31,502 --> 00:14:34,104
before he died

358
00:14:34,138 --> 00:14:37,207
was, "Don't let Tandy raise our baby."

359
00:14:37,241 --> 00:14:39,042
(scoffs)

360
00:14:39,076 --> 00:14:41,244
Well, you know, hard to tell sarcasm

361
00:14:41,278 --> 00:14:44,581
when people are in extreme
pain like that, so, uh...

362
00:14:44,615 --> 00:14:46,016
(sighs) What was the, uh,

363
00:14:46,050 --> 00:14:48,051
the last thing he said?

364
00:14:48,085 --> 00:14:51,554
Well, the very last thing he said

365
00:14:51,589 --> 00:14:54,424
was, "Did you hear me?

366
00:14:54,458 --> 00:14:56,159
I mean it."

367
00:14:58,529 --> 00:15:00,063
Okay, then.

368
00:15:00,097 --> 00:15:01,231
Mm. (chuckles)

369
00:15:01,265 --> 00:15:03,466
As per Phil's wishes, I will, uh,

370
00:15:03,501 --> 00:15:05,435
steer clear, you know?

371
00:15:05,469 --> 00:15:07,203
(sniffs)

372
00:15:07,238 --> 00:15:08,238
Totally fine with this.

373
00:15:08,272 --> 00:15:10,407
I'm okay.

374
00:15:10,441 --> 00:15:12,709
All right.

375
00:15:12,743 --> 00:15:14,811
G'day.

376
00:15:29,397 --> 00:15:31,520
Friggin' two-faced turd.

377
00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:33,900
One minute, you're like, all,

378
00:15:33,935 --> 00:15:35,502
"Hey, uh, let's go get a drink."

379
00:15:35,536 --> 00:15:37,304
Then the next minute,
you go behind my back

380
00:15:37,338 --> 00:15:38,772
and you go tell Erica,

381
00:15:38,806 --> 00:15:40,907
"Oh, I don't want Tandy
to raise the baby."

382
00:15:40,942 --> 00:15:43,043
You know what? You're no Viking!

383
00:15:43,077 --> 00:15:44,244
You're a sucking!

384
00:15:44,278 --> 00:15:47,013
Friggin' Stacy.

385
00:15:47,048 --> 00:15:49,116
God, I'm so glad that you're
out there floating unburned.

386
00:15:49,150 --> 00:15:51,485
That's my burn on you, huh?

387
00:15:51,519 --> 00:15:53,387
And I'm just getting started.

388
00:15:55,523 --> 00:15:58,425
And Jimmy Sharp is your 2019

389
00:15:58,459 --> 00:16:00,327
international motocross champion!

390
00:16:00,361 --> 00:16:02,095
Thanks for hanging out with me.

391
00:16:02,130 --> 00:16:04,264
(sighs)

392
00:16:04,298 --> 00:16:06,099
Yeah. Of course.

393
00:16:06,134 --> 00:16:08,335
Yeah.

394
00:16:08,369 --> 00:16:11,972
Still can't believe Phil's gone.

395
00:16:12,006 --> 00:16:13,306
Yep, yep.

396
00:16:13,341 --> 00:16:14,908
Gone with the wind.

397
00:16:17,211 --> 00:16:18,245
(exhales shakily)

398
00:16:18,279 --> 00:16:20,147
I'm just so sick of losing people.

399
00:16:20,181 --> 00:16:22,449
Yeah.

400
00:16:22,483 --> 00:16:24,284
(stammering): Yeah, we... go

401
00:16:24,318 --> 00:16:26,920
look for him on some... in days.

402
00:16:29,424 --> 00:16:31,158
It's just so hard to let go.

403
00:16:33,995 --> 00:16:35,095
Yeah.

404
00:16:40,201 --> 00:16:43,770
Uh...

405
00:16:48,543 --> 00:16:52,612
Uh...

406
00:16:55,550 --> 00:16:57,551
(sighs)

407
00:16:57,585 --> 00:16:59,352
Look, I hate to do this, Erica,

408
00:16:59,387 --> 00:17:01,288
but in the spirit of closure,

409
00:17:01,322 --> 00:17:03,623
I thought I should make
you aware of something.

410
00:17:03,658 --> 00:17:05,325
Apparently, that guy

411
00:17:05,360 --> 00:17:07,227
who told you not to let
me near your baby,

412
00:17:07,261 --> 00:17:08,428
well, he

413
00:17:08,463 --> 00:17:11,031
was a massive pornhead.

414
00:17:11,065 --> 00:17:12,332
I mean, look at this!

415
00:17:12,367 --> 00:17:14,368
He just craved it to a sick degree.

416
00:17:14,402 --> 00:17:16,636
- Okay. Tandy...
- And not only that,

417
00:17:16,671 --> 00:17:20,574
the guy was out of his mind on drugs.

418
00:17:20,608 --> 00:17:22,375
Uppers, downers, sidewinders.

419
00:17:22,410 --> 00:17:24,277
And don't even bother looking at his...

420
00:17:24,312 --> 00:17:26,213
his slam poetry notebook.

421
00:17:27,181 --> 00:17:28,482
"White man always finds

422
00:17:28,516 --> 00:17:30,450
"black man guilty.

423
00:17:30,485 --> 00:17:33,086
"Rage! Hatin' on puppies,

424
00:17:33,121 --> 00:17:34,855
- so hard..."
- Tandy,

425
00:17:34,889 --> 00:17:36,990
I was in this room three hours ago.

426
00:17:37,025 --> 00:17:38,959
So you saw all the skid
marks in his underwear.

427
00:17:38,993 --> 00:17:40,260
I mean, every pair.

428
00:17:40,295 --> 00:17:41,762
Such a dirty bottom.

429
00:17:41,796 --> 00:17:44,164
I'm sorry Phil didn't want
you to help with the baby.

430
00:17:49,604 --> 00:17:51,204
Carol...

431
00:17:51,239 --> 00:17:52,406
Carol!

432
00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:54,975
Oh! Hey.

433
00:17:55,009 --> 00:17:57,177
Todd and I kissed.

434
00:17:57,211 --> 00:17:59,179
Did you tell Gail?

435
00:17:59,213 --> 00:18:01,314
Why would I tell Gail?

436
00:18:01,349 --> 00:18:02,983
Oh. I just, um...

437
00:18:03,017 --> 00:18:05,052
thought you two were close,

438
00:18:05,086 --> 00:18:06,687
but now that I think of
it, you and I are closer,

439
00:18:06,721 --> 00:18:08,221
so yeah, this is normal.

440
00:18:08,256 --> 00:18:10,023
Well, I think we might
get back together.

441
00:18:12,460 --> 00:18:15,095
I have diarrhea. Bye.

442
00:18:18,099 --> 00:18:20,867
♪ ♪

443
00:18:24,505 --> 00:18:26,239
Good-bye, Phil's crap!

444
00:18:26,274 --> 00:18:28,275
Good-bye, Phil's driver's license!

445
00:18:28,309 --> 00:18:30,043
Good-bye, Phil's watch!

446
00:18:30,078 --> 00:18:32,446
Good-bye to anything that's
ever belonged to you,

447
00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:34,548
even your clothes!

448
00:18:36,551 --> 00:18:39,119
Friggin' pants didn't
fit me anyway, fatty!

449
00:18:39,153 --> 00:18:41,221
You're history, dude!

450
00:18:41,255 --> 00:18:43,090
It's like you never even existed!

451
00:18:43,124 --> 00:18:46,059
Now there's not even a
single trace of you left!

452
00:18:47,495 --> 00:18:51,064
Except for your stupid,
washed up coffin!

453
00:18:52,300 --> 00:18:53,567
What?

454
00:18:56,637 --> 00:18:58,438
Oh, farts.

455
00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:03,985
Well, well, well.

456
00:19:03,986 --> 00:19:06,088
Look who came crawling back.

457
00:19:06,122 --> 00:19:07,789
And I'm glad you're here,

458
00:19:07,824 --> 00:19:08,757
'cause I got something

459
00:19:08,791 --> 00:19:10,058
I want to get off my bare chest.

460
00:19:10,093 --> 00:19:12,127
I wouldn't raise your baby

461
00:19:12,161 --> 00:19:14,896
with a ten-foot pole.

462
00:19:14,931 --> 00:19:16,898
Not even if that pole was made of gold

463
00:19:16,933 --> 00:19:18,266
and I got to keep it.

464
00:19:18,301 --> 00:19:20,302
And this all could've been avoided

465
00:19:20,336 --> 00:19:23,271
(crying): if you had just
let me raise your kid!

466
00:19:23,306 --> 00:19:25,040
Man, I thought we were friends!

467
00:19:25,074 --> 00:19:26,341
ERICA: Tandy...

468
00:19:29,979 --> 00:19:31,980
You okay?

469
00:19:32,015 --> 00:19:33,682
Um, I'm fine.

470
00:19:33,716 --> 00:19:35,183
Are you okay?

471
00:19:35,218 --> 00:19:37,252
No.

472
00:19:37,286 --> 00:19:39,121
I still just can't wrap
my head around it.

473
00:19:39,155 --> 00:19:40,355
- You know?
- Yeah.

474
00:19:40,389 --> 00:19:44,126
But at a certain point,

475
00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:45,927
you got to let it go.

476
00:19:45,962 --> 00:19:47,796
We have this saying, in Australia.

477
00:19:47,830 --> 00:19:49,831
I know, I know.

478
00:19:49,866 --> 00:19:52,300
(Australian accent): "That's
not a knife; this is a knife."

479
00:19:52,335 --> 00:19:54,302
Right?

480
00:19:54,337 --> 00:19:56,171
I've never understood that saying

481
00:19:56,205 --> 00:19:58,173
until this very moment.

482
00:19:58,207 --> 00:19:59,641
It's like...

483
00:19:59,675 --> 00:20:02,778
(accent): that's not a knife.

484
00:20:02,812 --> 00:20:05,180
You know? That isn't a knife.

485
00:20:05,214 --> 00:20:07,349
(normal voice): But this...

486
00:20:07,383 --> 00:20:08,717
this...

487
00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:11,887
(accent): this is a knife.

488
00:20:11,921 --> 00:20:13,755
Right?

489
00:20:13,790 --> 00:20:17,591
Yeah, something... like that.

490
00:20:18,227 --> 00:20:20,395
♪ ♪

491
00:20:24,367 --> 00:20:26,828
I know what you did, Todd.

492
00:20:28,271 --> 00:20:30,872
You broke my heart.

493
00:20:30,907 --> 00:20:33,595
You<i> broke</i> my<i> heart.</i>

494
00:20:36,379 --> 00:20:39,729
Your lips taste like Chartres.

495
00:20:42,418 --> 00:20:45,954
This is how we should've
done it all along.

496
00:20:45,988 --> 00:20:47,789
Yeah.

497
00:20:47,824 --> 00:20:50,125
Thank God we got a second chance.

498
00:20:50,159 --> 00:20:53,228
Bye, brother.

499
00:20:53,262 --> 00:20:55,240
Tandy...

500
00:20:56,332 --> 00:20:59,301
You're right.

501
00:20:59,335 --> 00:21:00,969
Bye, friend.

502
00:21:01,003 --> 00:21:02,838
Tandy.

503
00:21:05,808 --> 00:21:08,009
Good-bye, Phil.

504
00:21:11,638 --> 00:21:14,532
- Should we go up and join the others?
- Okay.

505
00:21:19,389 --> 00:21:21,001
Bye, brother.

506
00:21:24,890 --> 00:21:28,591
Sync and corrections by peterbrito
www.addic7ed.com

