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Subtitle by peritta

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Beats By Dre, £199.

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Abo & Fitch,

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£79.95.

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SHB Vehicle Hire,

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£69.

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That's actually bloody decent
for a quad bike rental.

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Jack Wills...

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Now, please can you just understand

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that this was
for an entire winter look.

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...£467.55.

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The Sock Factory...

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That's the name of a website, not
an actual factory that I bought...

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Enough. Seriously.
Before I puke up my cheesy frites.

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I set you up for an interview
with Magda at Jonty Bonty

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and you do what?

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I fucked it.

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Yeah. You fucked it.
In all available holes.

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Fanny, mouth, arse and a bollock
up each nostril.

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- I tried. Really hard...
- No, I know what you did Jonathan.

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I wasn't born Tuesday,
AKA yesterday.

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Well - that is it.
I'm disconnecting the pipe.

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What pipe?

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The money pipe, Jonathan.

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I've sorted you a job.

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Junior position, shit pay.

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Until you accept,
you are officially cut off.

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- Oregon?
- Oh, I'm just, erm, burning some poems.

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Right. The, er, competition.

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Yeah. Bit of a "poetry
surplus" scenario.

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But I mean, you have read them
all, though?

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I've read them. Yeah.

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I've nearly read most of
these poems.

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Do you think that you should
maybe... come clean?

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Come clean about what?

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- Taking 20 grand and wasting it
on a poetry prize.
- It's not wasted!

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Arts. Legacy.

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Patronage.

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It's OK.

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Everything's basically
going to be OK.

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Right. Back to the bonfire!

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- I'll get marshmallows!
- OK.

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- I make that precisely Bonk o'...
- [GIRL GASPS]

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...clock.

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Oh, God.

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Oh. Hello?

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- Sorry...
- No! No, God, I'm sorry,
I... I should've knocked.

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Erm... But this is great.
Erm, you two just crack on.

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Give him a... bloody good bonking,

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and I... I shall take my leave!

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He's a clever, clever bastard.

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He's isolated my one weakness.

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Poverty.

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Poverty is like my Kryptonite.

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I think poverty is everyone's
Kryptonite, JP.

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You know what? It's fine,
I can do it.

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I can live on the breadline.
It'll be fucking fun!

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Shopping around for deals,
using vouchers for Prezzo.

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Oh, yeah. I mean, if you get really
strapped you could always

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sell your collection of antique
Edwardian nutcrackers.

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Yes, Vod. Or, we could bring out
our mutual friend, Cunty Landlord.

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"Oh. Hello, Cunty, how are
you today?"

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[DEEP VOICE]: "I'm fine, thank you,
JP. Has Vod paid her rent this week?"

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"No. She hasn't, Cunty."

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All right. Easy.

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Got more angry paper.

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It's so red. So angry.

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Oggs. More poetry for you.

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Right. I'll get the wheelbarrow.

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It just all seems a bit... indulgent,
a bit... braggy.

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- A bit "Look at me."
- Howard, it's a CV, mate.

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It's supposed to be a BIT
"Look at me."

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I don't like to boast.

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I'm small-headed.
Though ironically

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when it comes to helmet rental
I always come up large.

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It's Ordnance Survey. OK.

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They've probably got 28,000
candidates for that one position.

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Oh - quick warning,
I've got Bad-Soc this afternoon

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so don't expect any sense
out of me tonight!

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Ooh... Badminton. The last
refuge of the fucking loser.

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Mind your backs.

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Er, Vod. This isn't Badminton,
this is Radminton.

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More like... Sadminton.

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More like Madminton.

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Last week, we ended up doing
vodka shots out of a shuttlecock.

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- Shuttlecocks have got holes in them?
- Exactly!

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Cos that's how fucking mad we are.

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So... yeah, I'm pretty much set up
for friends next year.

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Game, set and trashed.

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It's from Fulbright. The scholarship
people. That's going to be me, Vod.

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Stroking books and just... laughing.

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Great.

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Professor Dumblefuck's International
School of Book-Stroking.

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Hmm...

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I think I may sell these
nutcrackers after all.

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How's the novella?

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It's a novel.

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Course it is.

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Well... thanks for pitching in
with the reading.

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Pleasure.

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And thus did
I decamp to fair Buxton,

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and therein did immerse
myself in verse.

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The majority of which,

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sorry to conjure, were
read in a Radox-filled bubble bath.

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- What's this?
- Those are my receipts, Oregon.

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That you very kindly offered to
cover in lieu of my standard

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- reader's fee.
- Three grand?!

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Johnnie Walker?

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Turbot?

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What the fuck is a Belvedere?

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It's a type of cigar.

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Is that a new cardie?

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Have you had your teeth whitened?

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Oregon, that is an
outrageous accusation,

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that really is from the
bottom drawer.

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How am I supposed to get three grand
of turbot past accounts?

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This thing is spiralling.

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Oregon, if you're struggling,
just reach out and ask for help.

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No, it's fine. I can bury it.

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These... will not be a problem.

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I can just make the necessary...

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adjustments to the budget.

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Everything will be...

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Those are new fucking shoes, Tony.
I can see the soles!

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Have you seen where they're holding
the Graduation Ball?

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Fucking Distractions!

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Oh... I like Distractions.

128
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It's a worm-pit.

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It's basically a portal to hell
with a chewy toothbrush dispenser.

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The DJ wears a funny wig.
It is a solid night out.

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It was like a green quiff,
if you can imagine such a thing.

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I mean, why not go all out and hold
it in the fucking Wild Bean Cafe?!

133
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That's not as mad as it sounds.

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If you don't like it, why don't
YOU sort something, Kingo?

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Oh, yeah, Vod -
I'll sort something out.

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Cos that's the sort of thing
that happens.

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"Oh, let's have a party.

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"What sort of records
will I play at my party?

139
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"Where will all the people
put their coats?

140
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"Or should I just put all
the coats in a big bag?"

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Wake up, Vod, fuck's sake. Huh?

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Alternative Grad Ball.
Think about it.

143
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So... I have a first draft.

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My CV.

145
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The life and times
of Howard Redacted MacGregor.

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The first thing you'll notice
is the impeccable formatting.

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And then almost immediately your eye
will be drawn to a jarring blend

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blend of fonts -
Avenir Medium for the body

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00:08:20,740 --> 00:08:23,459
and Franklin Gothic Bold
for the headers.

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A kind of niggling disparity
which wills you to look away but

151
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of course, you cannot.

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- Instep?
- Blood group?

153
00:08:32,140 --> 00:08:34,899
- Potted dental history?
- Oh - can I see that?

154
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Hobbies and interests, N/A?

155
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Not applicable.

156
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I did not know that
about your premolars.

157
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You need interests, Howard.
Just put anything.

158
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- I could put vintage Japanese erotica.
- Yeah, don't put that.

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Even your teeth make you
sound weird.

160
00:08:48,740 --> 00:08:50,539
Just make something up, Howard. Lie.

161
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Well... I'm off to "Lee Dull"...?

162
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Lie-Dull?

163
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The horrible place
with the free food.

164
00:09:04,700 --> 00:09:08,659
Josie... I'm a bit confused,

165
00:09:08,660 --> 00:09:11,699
Do you think maybe we could have
a little chat about our trade agreement?

166
00:09:11,700 --> 00:09:15,299
Re. er, docking at Smuggler's Cove.

167
00:09:15,300 --> 00:09:17,819
Probably my least favourite
vagina euphemism.

168
00:09:17,820 --> 00:09:19,699
So, just to clarify -

169
00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:22,979
erm, I am... still free to, er,

170
00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:25,859
trade my bananas with other
interested regions?

171
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No, JP.

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Because I'm so in love with you.

173
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[SARCASTICALLY]
"Oh, Josie loves JP!

174
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:32,899
"Maybe she should get him
a Valentine's card!"

175
00:09:32,900 --> 00:09:35,019
Basically, I wouldn't be that upset
if you died -

176
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- I mean, I'd be sad, but I'd rally
pretty bloody quickly.

177
00:09:38,580 --> 00:09:42,139
So... yeah, maybe we should just
forget the whole thing.

178
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Oh. Fine, yeah, I mean... you know.
If that's what you want?

179
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Well, that way you don't have to
worry about me barging in on you
when you're balls-deep.

180
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- Do you really want to
know what this is?
- Yes.

181
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It's a fuck-fest free-for-all,
and we're just two horny atoms

182
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who keep... accidentally
smashing into each other. Capiche?

183
00:10:01,180 --> 00:10:03,699
Yeah. Capiche.

184
00:10:03,700 --> 00:10:05,659
I'm really glad we cleared that up.

185
00:10:05,660 --> 00:10:09,660
Good. Now I'm cocking off.
For now - we badminton!

186
00:10:15,540 --> 00:10:19,540
MUSIC: Kids In America
by Kim Wilde

187
00:10:43,420 --> 00:10:47,420
Shuttlecock shot!

188
00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:49,659
Ohhhh!

189
00:10:49,660 --> 00:10:53,659
We only need 15 more and then
we can move for impeachment.

190
00:10:53,660 --> 00:10:57,219
It's a petition. To have Oregon
Shawcross kicked out of office.

191
00:10:57,220 --> 00:10:59,499
Yeah, sorry. I can't sign this.

192
00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:01,459
Erm, she's actually
a friend of mine.

193
00:11:01,460 --> 00:11:04,459
She's running this union
into the ground.

194
00:11:04,460 --> 00:11:08,460
Slashing resources and jizzing away
God-knows-how much on her thing.

195
00:11:08,860 --> 00:11:12,539
Think you better go.

196
00:11:12,540 --> 00:11:14,099
Dale?

197
00:11:14,100 --> 00:11:18,100
Guys... Seriously?
You want me to go?

198
00:11:20,060 --> 00:11:24,060
I'm Jumping Josie Jones.
The mad slag of Bad-Soc.

199
00:11:24,620 --> 00:11:27,219
I just don't think that you'd be
particularly comfortable,

200
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:30,859
with the kind of activism
WE'VE got in mind.

201
00:11:30,860 --> 00:11:32,539
Like what?

202
00:11:32,540 --> 00:11:36,540
We are going to burn an effigy
of Oregon in the quad.

203
00:11:36,660 --> 00:11:39,699
Wow. OK, yeah. Erm...

204
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:43,700
first off can I just say,
and this didn't come from me...

205
00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:47,059
Burn the witch, burn the witch,
burn the witch!

206
00:11:47,060 --> 00:11:50,539
Erm... I'm just joking obviously,
she is a really great friend but...

207
00:11:50,540 --> 00:11:52,539
Y'know, any information you could
give us...

208
00:11:52,540 --> 00:11:54,743
would be really appreciated.

209
00:11:59,670 --> 00:12:02,709
So, I've been thinking about this
Alternative Grad Ball.

210
00:12:02,710 --> 00:12:05,069
I think it could look pretty
good on the old CV.

211
00:12:05,070 --> 00:12:09,070
Plus, bit of a cheeky middle digit
up to those goons at 6Music.

212
00:12:09,550 --> 00:12:12,389
My first question as a punter is,
will it be boring?

213
00:12:12,390 --> 00:12:15,389
Why would it be boring?

214
00:12:15,390 --> 00:12:17,229
I do need your help.

215
00:12:17,230 --> 00:12:21,230
You've got 60 seconds then
I must get back to the books.

216
00:12:22,270 --> 00:12:23,749
Right. Theme?

217
00:12:23,750 --> 00:12:26,269
Oh, erm, Carnevale di Venezia.

218
00:12:26,270 --> 00:12:29,949
- So, Carnival of Venice. A masked ball.
- So an orgy?

219
00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:33,469
Not an orgy. Like a warehouse party,
but in a marquee?

220
00:12:33,470 --> 00:12:34,869
Italian Hard House.

221
00:12:34,870 --> 00:12:38,269
You know, like a rave but, erm,
sort of with cheese?

222
00:12:38,270 --> 00:12:42,270
A classy masked rave in a large
tent, with loads of cheese?

223
00:12:42,390 --> 00:12:44,789
Right, let's talk toilets.

224
00:12:44,790 --> 00:12:48,790
One unit per ten females, er,
trough-style urinals for the blokes.

225
00:12:49,350 --> 00:12:51,949
Speak to the farmer whose
field it is, he'll, er,

226
00:12:51,950 --> 00:12:55,069
let you dump your turds in his silo
and that way you'll save on pumpage.

227
00:12:55,070 --> 00:12:58,029
- Next?
- Um...

228
00:12:58,030 --> 00:13:01,589
So, erm, yeah, er,
so in terms of types of cheese,

229
00:13:01,590 --> 00:13:04,869
I was thinking, erm, Grana Padano
and Pecorino Romano?

230
00:13:04,870 --> 00:13:08,870
Dude, you've got 15 seconds left and
you want to ask me about cheese?

231
00:13:09,070 --> 00:13:11,509
- Erm... no?
- What about car-parking?

232
00:13:11,510 --> 00:13:13,989
Ticketing, wrist-bands, security,

233
00:13:13,990 --> 00:13:17,069
insurance, rigging,
lighting, gaffers?

234
00:13:17,070 --> 00:13:20,349
Stage-hire, roadies,
hand-stampers, and that's time.

235
00:13:20,350 --> 00:13:23,429
Where the fuck am I going to find
hand-stampers?

236
00:13:23,430 --> 00:13:26,829
Kingsley, are you sure you should be
taking this on with your finals?

237
00:13:26,830 --> 00:13:29,429
Oh, where's my wooden board?

238
00:13:29,430 --> 00:13:33,430
I like it on a wooden board.
It tastes better on a wooden board.

239
00:13:34,070 --> 00:13:37,629
[SHE MUTTERS IN ITALIAN]

240
00:13:37,630 --> 00:13:38,989
What is with all the muttering?

241
00:13:38,990 --> 00:13:41,349
I don't know, but she just
put my panini in the bin.

242
00:13:41,350 --> 00:13:45,350
Oh, shit, she's coming back.

243
00:13:47,670 --> 00:13:49,469
Well...

244
00:13:49,470 --> 00:13:51,469
There's the famous Latin
temperament.

245
00:13:51,470 --> 00:13:53,349
I mean, I don't know what
I expected?

246
00:13:53,350 --> 00:13:56,909
If you dip your dick into Mount
Etna, you're going to get burnt.

247
00:13:56,910 --> 00:14:00,909
Er, good luck with organising
your marquee for your orgy.

248
00:14:00,918 --> 00:14:04,910
Oh, erm, I was thinking,
60 quid a ticket? Is that right?

249
00:14:05,150 --> 00:14:07,703
Cos, like, 60 times 1,000...

250
00:14:07,718 --> 00:14:09,865
I mean, I should be able to set up
some sort of pop-up

251
00:14:09,872 --> 00:14:13,872
charcuterie store with 60,000 quid.
Right?

252
00:14:14,237 --> 00:14:15,384
Right.

253
00:14:15,398 --> 00:14:19,145
I mean, forget about the books,
how about I give you a hand?

254
00:14:19,153 --> 00:14:23,152
I know a field and it's fallow
as fuck.

255
00:14:26,270 --> 00:14:30,273
Just a few details before we
can proceed with your emergency
hardship application.

256
00:14:30,510 --> 00:14:33,749
Please. Take your time.

257
00:14:33,750 --> 00:14:35,429
It's just nice to be warm.

258
00:14:35,430 --> 00:14:38,509
Can I ask what your, er,
living status is, Jonathan?

259
00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:40,109
Landlord.

260
00:14:40,110 --> 00:14:41,949
You're a homeowner?

261
00:14:41,950 --> 00:14:43,829
I am asset-rich but cash-poor.

262
00:14:43,830 --> 00:14:46,029
Which, I don't know whether
you know, Janet,

263
00:14:46,030 --> 00:14:49,109
is just an absolute fucker.

264
00:14:49,110 --> 00:14:52,549
Can I ask what your household
income is? In terms of your parents?

265
00:14:52,550 --> 00:14:56,469
Respectfully, I'd prefer not
to disclose that as I feel it

266
00:14:56,470 --> 00:14:59,709
may negatively influence
the outcome of my application.

267
00:14:59,710 --> 00:15:02,189
Just so you're aware, based on
what you've told me, I think

268
00:15:02,190 --> 00:15:03,669
it's highly unlikely...

269
00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:06,709
Why?! Because of my bearing?

270
00:15:06,710 --> 00:15:09,149
Let me tell you a little story.

271
00:15:09,150 --> 00:15:11,789
Christopher Biggins.

272
00:15:11,790 --> 00:15:15,790
Privately-educated, very popular
entertainer... Bankrupt!

273
00:15:16,630 --> 00:15:18,389
It happens.

274
00:15:18,390 --> 00:15:22,229
And at this point, with regret,
it has become necessary for me

275
00:15:22,230 --> 00:15:24,549
to ask for assistance
from the state.

276
00:15:24,550 --> 00:15:26,269
We have limited resources

277
00:15:26,270 --> 00:15:29,349
and with the recent cuts
we have to focus our funding.

278
00:15:29,350 --> 00:15:31,109
Oregon.

279
00:15:31,110 --> 00:15:35,110
Fucking Oregon.

280
00:15:41,350 --> 00:15:42,869
Don't freak. I repeat.

281
00:15:42,870 --> 00:15:46,870
Do not freak.
Blink if you understand.

282
00:15:47,350 --> 00:15:49,429
Apparently there's a petition
going round.

283
00:15:49,430 --> 00:15:52,189
They've got 100 signatures.

284
00:15:52,190 --> 00:15:56,190
They've triggered a vote of no
confidence. I am so sorry, Oregon.

285
00:15:56,630 --> 00:15:58,789
They're moving to impeach.

286
00:15:58,790 --> 00:16:02,189
[CAMERA FLASH]

287
00:16:02,190 --> 00:16:05,189
[CAMERA FLASH]

288
00:16:05,190 --> 00:16:06,589
Impeachment!

289
00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:08,149
They're trying to overthrow me!

290
00:16:08,150 --> 00:16:12,150
Midway through planting a crabapple
tree and they drop this shit on me.

291
00:16:12,270 --> 00:16:13,709
100 names.

292
00:16:13,710 --> 00:16:15,429
The Traitor Menu.

293
00:16:15,430 --> 00:16:19,430
I mean, I'm not putting them
on a watch list, but...

294
00:16:19,590 --> 00:16:21,949
Mmm, your girlfriend signed this.

295
00:16:21,950 --> 00:16:23,509
What can I tell you? La Donna.

296
00:16:23,510 --> 00:16:24,869
She's her own animal.

297
00:16:24,870 --> 00:16:28,469
God, I wish she'd just
fuck off back to Switzerland.

298
00:16:28,470 --> 00:16:29,909
Erm, Italy.

299
00:16:29,910 --> 00:16:32,309
Why would she fuck off back
to Italy?

300
00:16:32,310 --> 00:16:33,989
Because she's from Italy.

301
00:16:33,990 --> 00:16:36,029
She might fuck off via Switzerland.

302
00:16:36,030 --> 00:16:38,189
- She's not Italian.
- She's totally Italian.

303
00:16:38,190 --> 00:16:41,589
No! She speaks Italian because she's
from one of the Italian cantons

304
00:16:41,590 --> 00:16:42,909
in Switzerland.

305
00:16:42,910 --> 00:16:45,509
Italian cantons of Switzerland?
You just made that up!

306
00:16:45,510 --> 00:16:49,429
You know, Switzerland. Chocolate.
Cuckoo clocks. Dignitas.

307
00:16:49,430 --> 00:16:52,829
Nom-nom-nom-nom. Cuckoo!

308
00:16:52,830 --> 00:16:55,589
Switzerland? Famously stayed out of
World War II?

309
00:16:55,590 --> 00:16:59,509
Ironic considering the politics
of your Nazi, fucking wife.

310
00:16:59,510 --> 00:17:01,749
Swiss...

311
00:17:01,750 --> 00:17:04,829
Hmm, Switzerland?

312
00:17:04,830 --> 00:17:07,949
[ECHOING]: 'My Swiss girlfriend,
Swiss girlfriend, Swiss girlfriend,

313
00:17:07,950 --> 00:17:10,749
'Swiss girlfriend...'

314
00:17:10,750 --> 00:17:12,269
So, what's your next move?

315
00:17:12,270 --> 00:17:15,389
Well, I've got until the vote at 8pm
tomorrow to balance the budget

316
00:17:15,390 --> 00:17:17,029
and get the books straight,

317
00:17:17,030 --> 00:17:21,030
meanwhile I'm tit-high in Tony's
fucking turbot.

318
00:17:23,150 --> 00:17:26,269
[PHONE RINGS]

319
00:17:26,270 --> 00:17:29,349
Hello, Night-Line.
My name's Natasha,

320
00:17:29,350 --> 00:17:32,869
'how can I help you?'

321
00:17:32,870 --> 00:17:34,549
Hello, Natasha.

322
00:17:34,550 --> 00:17:37,029
'How are you doing tonight?'

323
00:17:37,030 --> 00:17:38,149
Not great.

324
00:17:38,150 --> 00:17:41,509
Whatever it is, I'm sure I can help.

325
00:17:41,510 --> 00:17:44,029
I'm closing Night-Line.

326
00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:46,869
Who is this?

327
00:17:46,870 --> 00:17:50,870
This is Oregon Shawcross.
Your President.

328
00:17:53,750 --> 00:17:56,709
I have just have been on a bus

329
00:17:56,710 --> 00:17:58,389
to the supermarket,

330
00:17:58,390 --> 00:18:00,669
where I bought some bones.

331
00:18:00,670 --> 00:18:02,389
I'm about to boil some pasta in
a minute.

332
00:18:02,390 --> 00:18:03,989
If you want you can have my water.

333
00:18:03,990 --> 00:18:06,949
Now I know what reality feels like.

334
00:18:06,950 --> 00:18:08,669
Scratchy and harsh.

335
00:18:08,673 --> 00:18:10,663
You're being pathetic.

336
00:18:10,673 --> 00:18:14,546
Yes, I am being pathetic, Josie,
defiantly pathetic.

337
00:18:14,559 --> 00:18:16,701
I can't do this by myself.

338
00:18:16,714 --> 00:18:18,228
I need help.

339
00:18:18,239 --> 00:18:22,231
Somebody help me.

340
00:18:22,431 --> 00:18:26,435
Well, I have finally e-mailed my CV
to Ordnance Survey HQ.

341
00:18:26,870 --> 00:18:30,879
Interests and hobbies include -
reading, walking and street magic.

342
00:18:34,430 --> 00:18:36,743
- Street magic?
- You put down street magic?

343
00:18:36,750 --> 00:18:38,269
Why did you put street magic?

344
00:18:38,270 --> 00:18:42,270
Because I asked JP, and he said put
something cool down like street magic.

345
00:18:42,470 --> 00:18:45,549
I said, put down something
cool LIKE street magic.

346
00:18:45,550 --> 00:18:47,909
I didn't say, put fucking
street magic.

347
00:18:47,910 --> 00:18:49,909
Oh, hot, horny hell have
I made an error?

348
00:18:49,910 --> 00:18:52,669
They're going to have this stack of
boring CVs and then the resume

349
00:18:52,670 --> 00:18:55,789
of David fucking Blaine. What do you
think their first question will be?

350
00:18:55,790 --> 00:18:57,589
- Can you levitate?
- Will you smash my watch?

351
00:18:57,590 --> 00:19:00,029
- Can you teleport?
- Can you turn invisible?

352
00:19:00,030 --> 00:19:03,029
Can you burn a £50 note, and then
you cough and it's in your mouth?

353
00:19:03,030 --> 00:19:05,269
Do you honestly think they'll
expect me to levitate?

354
00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:07,989
They'll expect something in
the levitation ballpark, yeah.

355
00:19:07,990 --> 00:19:11,990
I'm on a hiding to nothing on
this one because I'm one of the most
land-borne people I know.

356
00:19:13,190 --> 00:19:17,190
Right? Can somebody spot me
some croutons for my bone soup?

357
00:19:19,350 --> 00:19:21,989
PROTESTERS: Where's our bus!
Where's our bus!

358
00:19:21,990 --> 00:19:24,589
Where's our bus! Shawcross out!

359
00:19:24,590 --> 00:19:28,590
[SHOUTING CONTINUES]

360
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:33,909
Whack the head!
It's filled with Haribo!

361
00:19:33,910 --> 00:19:37,109
Hey, I got a good one!
Orry-Orry-Ore-gone!

362
00:19:37,110 --> 00:19:39,469
PROTESTERS: Out-out-out!

363
00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:41,389
Orry-Orry-Ore-gone...

364
00:19:41,390 --> 00:19:44,469
Josie, what are you doing?

365
00:19:44,470 --> 00:19:46,829
Er... This...

366
00:19:46,830 --> 00:19:49,829
this is just a harmless
bit of satirical fun.

367
00:19:49,830 --> 00:19:51,469
Is that an effigy?

368
00:19:51,470 --> 00:19:53,109
- Are they going to burn me?
- No.

369
00:19:53,110 --> 00:19:56,789
No! Erm, not until they've got all
the sweets out of your big head.

370
00:19:56,790 --> 00:19:58,909
Josie. This is horrible!

371
00:19:58,910 --> 00:20:02,869
Come on. It's just a bit of,
you know, knock-about fun.

372
00:20:02,870 --> 00:20:05,949
Punch and Judy politics.
Don't take it so personally.

373
00:20:05,950 --> 00:20:07,549
They're going to set fire to ME.

374
00:20:07,550 --> 00:20:11,269
Oregon. I don't want politics
to come between our friendship, OK?

375
00:20:11,270 --> 00:20:14,469
But, y'know, closing down
Night-Line...

376
00:20:14,470 --> 00:20:16,549
It got six calls a week!

377
00:20:16,550 --> 00:20:20,550
[CROWD CHEER]

378
00:20:23,230 --> 00:20:25,789
Oh, whoa! God! That really went up!

379
00:20:25,790 --> 00:20:27,549
S'awful.

380
00:20:27,550 --> 00:20:29,589
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!

381
00:20:29,590 --> 00:20:30,669
So flammable.

382
00:20:30,670 --> 00:20:34,389
[CROWD CHANT]: Burn the witch!

383
00:20:34,390 --> 00:20:38,390
That is a killer field.
Beautifully fucking irrigated.

384
00:20:39,750 --> 00:20:41,909
- We should check the acoustics.
- Mmm.

385
00:20:41,910 --> 00:20:45,910
One-two. Two-two. One-two. Two!

386
00:20:47,030 --> 00:20:49,589
- I'm none the wiser.
- Mmm.

387
00:20:49,590 --> 00:20:53,590
Sorry can you put those fucking
sunglasses on, or take them off?

388
00:20:53,750 --> 00:20:56,509
[PHONE RINGS]

389
00:20:56,510 --> 00:21:00,029
God. Mum again.

390
00:21:00,030 --> 00:21:02,629
Bandit had a seizure.

391
00:21:02,630 --> 00:21:04,269
Who the fuck's Bandit?

392
00:21:04,270 --> 00:21:07,069
The epilepsy dog.

393
00:21:07,070 --> 00:21:09,229
Epilepsy dog had a seizure!

394
00:21:09,230 --> 00:21:11,469
Epilepsy dog has epilepsy?!

395
00:21:11,470 --> 00:21:13,549
Well, does he though?

396
00:21:13,550 --> 00:21:15,749
Or is it all just part
of the mind-war?

397
00:21:15,750 --> 00:21:18,989
"Uni's coming to an end."
"Oh, big coincidence,
Bandit's had a wobbler!"

398
00:21:18,990 --> 00:21:21,549
She probably locked him
in the cupboard under the stairs

399
00:21:21,550 --> 00:21:23,029
with a strobe until he wigged out.

400
00:21:23,030 --> 00:21:25,709
Oh, yeah, she wants you back.
What a bitch(!)

401
00:21:25,710 --> 00:21:27,709
There's no way I'm
moving back with her.

402
00:21:27,710 --> 00:21:31,389
I'd rather move to the Yemen
and work in a salt-mine.

403
00:21:31,390 --> 00:21:33,629
Nah, I'll just stay in Manchester.

404
00:21:33,630 --> 00:21:35,229
Move in with Rosa, probably.

405
00:21:35,230 --> 00:21:36,869
Very homely.

406
00:21:36,870 --> 00:21:38,709
What do you think about her
though? Really?

407
00:21:38,710 --> 00:21:42,189
I tell you what I think about your
Swiss girlfriend, Kingsley. Neutral.

408
00:21:42,190 --> 00:21:44,189
I feel neutral.
Not one side or the other.

409
00:21:44,190 --> 00:21:46,309
- She's just been on my back lately.
- Hmm.

410
00:21:46,310 --> 00:21:47,989
Weighing you down, like one of them

411
00:21:47,990 --> 00:21:50,469
really big Toblerones you
get from Duty Free.

412
00:21:50,470 --> 00:21:53,909
I mean it can't be the case that
I like her less because she's Swiss.

413
00:21:53,910 --> 00:21:57,910
But also, it is the case.

414
00:21:58,070 --> 00:22:00,709
I mean you saw her,
flying off the handle like that.

415
00:22:00,710 --> 00:22:02,389
There's no need for it.

416
00:22:02,390 --> 00:22:06,390
If she's not Italian that just means
she's just really fucking snippy.

417
00:22:14,270 --> 00:22:15,789
Oregon.

418
00:22:15,790 --> 00:22:19,309
I've come to claim £20,000 for the
greatest poem in the world!

419
00:22:19,310 --> 00:22:22,029
[CLEARS HIS THROAT]

420
00:22:22,030 --> 00:22:23,669
There was a young legend from Stow,

421
00:22:23,670 --> 00:22:25,989
Who snorted a kilo of blow.

422
00:22:25,990 --> 00:22:29,990
JP, that's a limerick, you're not
going to win with a limerick.

423
00:22:35,150 --> 00:22:39,150
- There was a young lady
from St Mary's Ca...
- Again - limerick.

424
00:22:43,670 --> 00:22:44,869
There was a young geezer...

425
00:22:44,870 --> 00:22:48,870
If it begins, "There was a young..."
it's a fucking limerick, JP!

426
00:23:00,870 --> 00:23:02,989
- I brought you some sweets.
- Oh, good(!)

427
00:23:02,990 --> 00:23:05,629
They managed to get all the sweets
out of my big flammable

428
00:23:05,630 --> 00:23:08,669
fucking Pinata head before it
exploded into flames?

429
00:23:08,670 --> 00:23:11,229
No. They didn't actually.

430
00:23:11,230 --> 00:23:15,230
We had some packets left over.

431
00:23:15,470 --> 00:23:16,549
So,

432
00:23:16,550 --> 00:23:19,229
the dreaded vote of no confidence.

433
00:23:19,230 --> 00:23:23,230
If only there were some way you
could rise above your problems.

434
00:23:27,350 --> 00:23:28,869
Howard, what are you doing?

435
00:23:28,870 --> 00:23:30,749
I'm levitating.

436
00:23:30,750 --> 00:23:34,750
Like some kind of highly-employable
Christ figure.

437
00:23:46,390 --> 00:23:50,390
Well, I want names, Josie. I am
going to highlight those involved.

438
00:23:50,430 --> 00:23:54,430
It is not Orwellian, it is just
being very bloody organised...

439
00:23:55,110 --> 00:23:58,949
"Jezebel James?"

440
00:23:58,950 --> 00:24:01,149
That's you, isn't it?

441
00:24:01,150 --> 00:24:03,029
You signed this?

442
00:24:03,030 --> 00:24:05,109
I'm desperate. OK, Oregon.

443
00:24:05,110 --> 00:24:07,589
I need friends for next year
and Bad Soc's all I've got.

444
00:24:07,590 --> 00:24:11,590
Yeah, well, you know what?
Fuck Bad Soc.

445
00:24:12,710 --> 00:24:14,309
- No way?
- Yes way.

446
00:24:14,310 --> 00:24:16,269
Funding has been cut.

447
00:24:16,270 --> 00:24:18,669
I am 'Breaking Bad Soc'.

448
00:24:18,670 --> 00:24:20,829
You evil fucking despot.

449
00:24:20,830 --> 00:24:23,625
Sorry, Josie. Death to Sadminton.

450
00:24:24,500 --> 00:24:26,819
Do you think
he looks menacing enough?

451
00:24:26,820 --> 00:24:28,459
Quite sad eyes.

452
00:24:28,460 --> 00:24:32,299
He's big, he's bald, he's bearded.
Tick, tick, tick. Yes, please.

453
00:24:32,300 --> 00:24:35,019
Maybe I should ask him
to manhandle me.

454
00:24:35,020 --> 00:24:39,020
You know, try before you buy.

455
00:24:40,780 --> 00:24:43,619
Plus, we do a lot of security
on match days.

456
00:24:43,620 --> 00:24:45,339
Sweet!

457
00:24:45,340 --> 00:24:47,899
Ooh, do you want, er, Mole
to manhandle you now, Kingo?

458
00:24:47,900 --> 00:24:51,619
Oh, yeah, she's... she's joking.
There's not...

459
00:24:51,620 --> 00:24:54,259
not much man to manhandle, methinks!

460
00:24:54,260 --> 00:24:56,979
What's the, er, damage, you know,
bunce-wise?

461
00:24:56,980 --> 00:24:59,459
1,500 for the night

462
00:24:59,460 --> 00:25:02,819
or nothing and we do the sundries -

463
00:25:02,820 --> 00:25:05,339
coke, weed, pills.

464
00:25:05,340 --> 00:25:08,659
Interesting. Don't think we've found
a supplier yet for our sundries,

465
00:25:08,660 --> 00:25:12,379
- have we, Kingo?
- Yeah. So sorry, Mole.

466
00:25:12,380 --> 00:25:16,380
Um... just, yeah, quick conflab
with my associate. Um, yeah.

467
00:25:19,740 --> 00:25:21,739
What the fuck? He's a dealer!

468
00:25:21,740 --> 00:25:24,339
He's a short bald man
from Liverpool in a bomber jacket.

469
00:25:24,340 --> 00:25:25,539
I mean, I'm no Poirot...

470
00:25:25,540 --> 00:25:29,540
Mole - he sounds all nice.
He sounds all Toad of Toad Hall.

471
00:25:30,700 --> 00:25:31,899
He's a drugs mole.

472
00:25:31,900 --> 00:25:35,019
There are going to be
drugs at the Grad Ball, hmm?

473
00:25:35,020 --> 00:25:37,899
So, we either go to the open market

474
00:25:37,900 --> 00:25:41,900
or we go with a local supplier
who provides a quality,

475
00:25:41,940 --> 00:25:43,339
freshly-sourced product.

476
00:25:43,340 --> 00:25:46,699
Don't make him sound like he's some
fucking artisan baker!

477
00:25:46,700 --> 00:25:49,339
He's a drug dealer, he's dangerous.

478
00:25:49,340 --> 00:25:53,340
All right. Don't stack your briefs!
We'll find someone else.

479
00:25:53,380 --> 00:25:55,779
OK, so what now? What's
the etiquette with these people?

480
00:25:55,780 --> 00:25:59,499
Do they have an etiquette
or do we just turn around and walk
away really fucking briskly?

481
00:25:59,500 --> 00:26:03,500
Yeah, that's what we do.

482
00:26:12,420 --> 00:26:14,979
- How are you holding up?
- Yeah, yeah, really good.

483
00:26:14,980 --> 00:26:17,259
Um, I'm looking forward
to my vote of confidence.

484
00:26:17,260 --> 00:26:18,979
I thought it was
a vote of no confidence.

485
00:26:18,980 --> 00:26:22,379
Yeah, well, that all depends
on if you're a negative person

486
00:26:22,380 --> 00:26:23,899
or you're more in the mould

487
00:26:23,900 --> 00:26:26,419
of a Dorothy Parker
meets Ellen MacArthur.

488
00:26:26,420 --> 00:26:29,299
Straw poll - if you were
interviewing me for a job,

489
00:26:29,300 --> 00:26:31,539
would you be impressed
if I, very safely,

490
00:26:31,540 --> 00:26:35,219
launched a small firework
from about my beard?

491
00:26:35,220 --> 00:26:39,220
Two, four, six... no hands!
Great feedback, thanks.

492
00:26:41,140 --> 00:26:44,139
Oregon, can you just
lift your chin up?

493
00:26:44,140 --> 00:26:47,539
I'm doing a cheeky little
lampoon for the protest movement.

494
00:26:47,540 --> 00:26:49,219
You're lampooning me?

495
00:26:49,220 --> 00:26:52,179
Yeah. The Blaster got in touch
out of the blue.

496
00:26:52,180 --> 00:26:56,180
I've been commissioned. I'm getting
paid. Screw you, Tomothy!

497
00:26:57,700 --> 00:27:00,539
All aboard the satirical cartoon
gravy train!

498
00:27:00,540 --> 00:27:03,419
Next stop - Money Town!

499
00:27:03,420 --> 00:27:07,059
Why have I got whisker...
Am I shitting?

500
00:27:07,060 --> 00:27:10,779
You're a fat cat trying to
escape on a hot-air balloon marked

501
00:27:10,780 --> 00:27:13,859
"Corruption" and you're taking
a big steaming shit

502
00:27:13,860 --> 00:27:16,099
onto all of the students
down below you.

503
00:27:16,100 --> 00:27:19,379
But now, this sword with
"Impeachment" written on it

504
00:27:19,380 --> 00:27:21,219
is about to cut off your head.

505
00:27:21,220 --> 00:27:22,459
It is a pretty good likeness,

506
00:27:22,460 --> 00:27:24,339
considering it's a cat
taking a shit.

507
00:27:24,340 --> 00:27:27,899
Well, it's irrelevant
because I've balanced the budget.

508
00:27:27,900 --> 00:27:30,979
Nightline, fell-walking -
cut, cut, cut!

509
00:27:30,980 --> 00:27:34,019
Plus, I've told them
that I've got an appointment
for a yeast infection,

510
00:27:34,020 --> 00:27:36,259
so they pushed the vote
back by two hours.

511
00:27:36,260 --> 00:27:40,260
Oh, no! The England game's tonight.
Uh-oh! There goes the sports vote.

512
00:27:41,580 --> 00:27:43,899
Same old Oregon, same old shit!

513
00:27:43,900 --> 00:27:47,900
No! Actually, JP, new Oregon
cos it's a new day,

514
00:27:49,900 --> 00:27:53,659
new outlook,
new policies, new haircut,

515
00:27:53,660 --> 00:27:56,099
new ideas, new energy, new haircut.

516
00:27:56,100 --> 00:27:58,379
I am going to move on
and I'm changing everything -

517
00:27:58,380 --> 00:28:00,179
new direction, new haircut.

518
00:28:00,180 --> 00:28:01,539
You keep saying new haircut.

519
00:28:01,540 --> 00:28:03,699
New haircut for a new president,

520
00:28:03,700 --> 00:28:07,700
for a new outlook on a new haircut
to inspire new confidence.

521
00:28:10,300 --> 00:28:14,300
Vod, I need you to give me
a new... haircut.

522
00:28:14,580 --> 00:28:18,580
Mm.

523
00:28:22,380 --> 00:28:24,219
So, I was thinking...

524
00:28:24,220 --> 00:28:28,220
All right, I could do that.

525
00:28:34,500 --> 00:28:36,099
OK.

526
00:28:36,100 --> 00:28:40,100
So what I've done is,
I've gone too short on this side.

527
00:28:40,540 --> 00:28:43,179
So I can either go short
on the other side

528
00:28:43,180 --> 00:28:46,619
or you can have slightly wonky hair.

529
00:28:46,620 --> 00:28:48,019
Um...

530
00:28:48,020 --> 00:28:52,020
All right.

531
00:28:57,820 --> 00:28:58,859
OK.

532
00:28:58,860 --> 00:29:02,860
So what's happened here is, I've
gone even shorter on this side,

533
00:29:03,380 --> 00:29:07,380
but I'll just level it up.

534
00:29:10,100 --> 00:29:11,619
OK.

535
00:29:11,620 --> 00:29:15,139
Just to fill you in, basically,
I've done the same thing again.

536
00:29:15,140 --> 00:29:18,299
Yeah, I think I should just
abandon hair at this point.

537
00:29:18,300 --> 00:29:22,099
No president's ever been impeached.
Do you know that?

538
00:29:22,100 --> 00:29:24,339
Apart from Muttock,
but he wasn't impeached,

539
00:29:24,340 --> 00:29:28,179
he just went straight to prison for
killing someone in a road accident.

540
00:29:28,180 --> 00:29:31,299
I don't know how I ended here, Vod.

541
00:29:31,300 --> 00:29:34,259
Maybe Idi Amin started by setting up
a boutique literary award

542
00:29:34,260 --> 00:29:36,459
and then a few things go sideways

543
00:29:36,460 --> 00:29:40,460
and boom! You're the tyrant queen
that killed Night-Line.

544
00:29:42,900 --> 00:29:45,259
Is that going to be my legacy?

545
00:29:45,260 --> 00:29:47,939
Oregon, this isn't over.

546
00:29:47,940 --> 00:29:51,940
You walk in there and you let
your natural charm speak for itself!

547
00:29:53,420 --> 00:29:56,379
What natural charm?

548
00:29:56,380 --> 00:30:00,380
You know. Don't pretend
you don't know. I know you know.

549
00:30:02,900 --> 00:30:04,939
You so know!

550
00:30:04,940 --> 00:30:08,579
I guess I could try
and switch it on.

551
00:30:08,580 --> 00:30:12,580
Come on. Let's even this up.

552
00:30:13,220 --> 00:30:17,220
OK.

553
00:30:23,860 --> 00:30:27,860
OK. What's happened here is...

554
00:30:28,540 --> 00:30:31,779
All I'm saying is, it's good that
Vod is helping you with the party.

555
00:30:31,780 --> 00:30:34,819
This way, you can
focus on your study.

556
00:30:34,820 --> 00:30:37,739
Well, that certainly seems to be a
very safe way of looking at things,

557
00:30:37,740 --> 00:30:41,740
Rosa. Very safe, very neutral.

558
00:30:41,940 --> 00:30:43,539
You need to focus on your finals.

559
00:30:43,540 --> 00:30:47,540
A daily reminder of my finals -
regular as the 9.30 from Zurich.

560
00:30:47,940 --> 00:30:49,299
There you go.

561
00:30:49,300 --> 00:30:51,259
Move out of the way, Mum!

562
00:30:51,260 --> 00:30:55,260
[HE HUMS]

563
00:31:00,580 --> 00:31:04,339
Mmm... ma mia! This looks amazing!

564
00:31:04,340 --> 00:31:06,019
I fucking love chicken nuggets!

565
00:31:06,020 --> 00:31:10,020
Thanks, sweetheart,
thanks, darling, thanks, love!

566
00:31:15,500 --> 00:31:18,299
Chicken fucking nuggets!
Fucking result!

567
00:31:18,300 --> 00:31:21,939
I am going to fucking smash these
chicken fucking nuggets!

568
00:31:21,940 --> 00:31:25,940
Yeah, I might eat this in my room.

569
00:31:33,620 --> 00:31:37,620
So, I have tried and failed to
master the dark art of street magic.

570
00:31:39,060 --> 00:31:40,259
And now, boys and girls,

571
00:31:40,260 --> 00:31:44,260
for my next trick, I will
make my career prospects disappear!

572
00:31:45,580 --> 00:31:49,580
Abra and indeed cadabra!

573
00:31:50,900 --> 00:31:52,939
- Is that a trick, Howard?
- No.

574
00:31:52,940 --> 00:31:55,539
It's just the actions of a man
who no longer requires a watch,

575
00:31:55,540 --> 00:31:57,899
be it for appointment or interview.

576
00:31:57,900 --> 00:31:58,979
Sorry, brah.

577
00:31:58,980 --> 00:32:01,019
I'm going to have to call
John at Ordnance Survey

578
00:32:01,020 --> 00:32:03,539
and request that my application be
officially withdrawn.

579
00:32:03,540 --> 00:32:07,540
Theme of the Grad Ball.
The theme is Carnage.

580
00:32:08,340 --> 00:32:10,619
Like...

581
00:32:10,620 --> 00:32:12,699
Chain-saw artists, Wheel of Death,

582
00:32:12,700 --> 00:32:16,539
a woman in iron pants making sparks
with an angle grinder.

583
00:32:16,540 --> 00:32:17,579
That sounds horrific.

584
00:32:17,580 --> 00:32:21,259
Kingo, I'll focus on the bigger
picture. You sort out the details.

585
00:32:21,260 --> 00:32:24,099
What, you're Florence,
I'm just the fucking Machine?

586
00:32:24,100 --> 00:32:26,819
Try to ignore the whirring sound.
That's just the Machine doing

587
00:32:26,820 --> 00:32:30,619
- all the fucking work while Florence
fucks about in a floaty dress!
- Well, that's the deal.

588
00:32:30,620 --> 00:32:34,419
- Unless you want to sort it on your own.
- All right. Fine, fine.

589
00:32:34,420 --> 00:32:36,779
All right, compromise.

590
00:32:36,780 --> 00:32:37,899
Cheese and Carnage.

591
00:32:37,900 --> 00:32:39,619
Well, we might as well start.

592
00:32:39,620 --> 00:32:42,219
It looks like this is all
we're getting.

593
00:32:42,220 --> 00:32:45,139
Our motion is clear.

594
00:32:45,140 --> 00:32:48,859
Oregon, throughout your tenure,
we believe you've shown

595
00:32:48,860 --> 00:32:52,499
a lack of leadership,
a lack of judgment,

596
00:32:52,500 --> 00:32:56,500
a lack of character. Actually,
you have a weak character, Oregon.

597
00:32:56,980 --> 00:33:00,859
And I think I speak on behalf
of a majority of the student body

598
00:33:00,860 --> 00:33:04,860
when I say, with regret,
we have no confidence in you.

599
00:33:07,220 --> 00:33:11,220
[APPLAUSE]

600
00:33:12,820 --> 00:33:15,899
Firstly, I would like to thank
everybody for coming out

601
00:33:15,900 --> 00:33:19,900
tonight and missing the crucial
Moldova qualifier.

602
00:33:20,220 --> 00:33:24,019
It gives me the perfect opportunity
to announce that we, I,

603
00:33:24,020 --> 00:33:27,579
have finally balanced the budget.

604
00:33:27,580 --> 00:33:31,580
We, I, have had a lot of tough
decisions to make and we, I,

605
00:33:32,740 --> 00:33:36,099
have always had the best interests
of the student body at heart.

606
00:33:36,100 --> 00:33:37,619
What about the turbot?

607
00:33:37,620 --> 00:33:40,899
We know about the receipts.

608
00:33:40,900 --> 00:33:44,459
What receipts?

609
00:33:44,460 --> 00:33:48,460
Er... OK. If I could deal
specifically with the turbot...

610
00:33:49,820 --> 00:33:53,820
Let's get straight into this,
shall we? Votes against impeachment.

611
00:33:54,740 --> 00:33:58,259
- Is that us?
- Yeah.

612
00:33:58,260 --> 00:34:02,260
Oi, Dynamo! Levitate yourself
out of that fucking seat right now!

613
00:34:07,780 --> 00:34:11,779
OK. Votes for impeachment.

614
00:34:11,780 --> 00:34:12,819
Wait!

615
00:34:12,820 --> 00:34:16,820
Er, if I could, before they sit
down again, everybody,

616
00:34:18,100 --> 00:34:22,100
I have something I need to tell you.

617
00:34:22,860 --> 00:34:26,860
Oh, God!

618
00:34:28,580 --> 00:34:32,299
♪ Let them bring on
all their problems

619
00:34:32,300 --> 00:34:36,019
♪ I'll do better than my best

620
00:34:36,020 --> 00:34:39,299
♪ I have confidence you'll put me
to the test

621
00:34:39,300 --> 00:34:42,059
♪ But I'll make you see
I have confidence in me! ♪

622
00:34:42,060 --> 00:34:45,259
- Come on, everybody! Join in!
- You're on your own, mate.

623
00:34:45,260 --> 00:34:48,339
♪ I have confidence in sunshine

624
00:34:48,340 --> 00:34:51,579
♪ I have confidence in rain

625
00:34:51,580 --> 00:34:54,579
♪ I have confidence that spring
will come again

626
00:34:54,580 --> 00:34:58,580
♪ So I'll make you see
I have confidence in meee! ♪

627
00:35:02,660 --> 00:35:04,659
[SHE LAUGHS]

628
00:35:04,660 --> 00:35:08,660
[MICROPHONE BUZZES]

629
00:35:12,420 --> 00:35:16,420
[OREGON LAUGHS]

630
00:35:18,260 --> 00:35:22,260
♪ The higher you build
your barriers... ♪

631
00:35:22,900 --> 00:35:24,419
I thought we were going to have

632
00:35:24,420 --> 00:35:26,899
to helicopter her out of the Quad
like Ceausescu.

633
00:35:26,900 --> 00:35:30,219
It was when she started singing
Man In The Mirror that I knew
she was in trouble.

634
00:35:30,220 --> 00:35:32,099
Found these under the mat.

635
00:35:32,100 --> 00:35:36,100
Oh? Oh, you are joking me!

636
00:35:36,460 --> 00:35:38,619
I'm just drowning in red ink!

637
00:35:38,620 --> 00:35:42,620
Um, I'm just off the phone
to John at Ordnance Survey

638
00:35:43,180 --> 00:35:45,739
and I came clean about my CV.

639
00:35:45,740 --> 00:35:48,619
I told him it was just a sexed-up
dossier of mistruths

640
00:35:48,620 --> 00:35:52,620
printed on a tissue of lies,
and he said he admired my honesty.

641
00:35:53,100 --> 00:35:56,619
And so, if I get a First,
the job's mine.

642
00:35:56,620 --> 00:35:58,939
Holy shit, bro!
Wax up the Oyster card

643
00:35:58,940 --> 00:36:02,940
and buy some pepper spray!
You're moving to London!

644
00:36:06,180 --> 00:36:10,180
Mole? Um... you've got a deal.

645
00:36:11,260 --> 00:36:15,260
Yeah, you can do security.
Yeah, and drugs.

646
00:36:17,980 --> 00:36:20,899
'Yeah, he'd be cool with that.
Yeah.'

647
00:36:20,900 --> 00:36:22,579
It was me, by the way.

648
00:36:22,580 --> 00:36:26,099
I gave the Blaster your number and
told them you were good at cartoons.

649
00:36:26,100 --> 00:36:27,779
Oh, thanks.

650
00:36:27,780 --> 00:36:30,659
I've been thinking about our little
trade agreement.

651
00:36:30,660 --> 00:36:34,259
Maybe I could impose a sort of
import ban.

652
00:36:34,260 --> 00:36:38,260
You know, not import from any
non-Josie territories,

653
00:36:38,940 --> 00:36:41,859
withdraw from the EU.

654
00:36:41,860 --> 00:36:45,860
JP, I think that maybe we shouldn't.

655
00:36:46,900 --> 00:36:49,419
We need to stop.

656
00:36:49,420 --> 00:36:51,419
It's over.

657
00:36:51,420 --> 00:36:55,420
Yeah, good. No, I mean... cos
that was my other idea, so...

658
00:36:57,140 --> 00:37:01,140
Oh, and, er, the Blaster said sorry
but, um...

659
00:37:02,140 --> 00:37:03,579
...this is all they could give you.

660
00:37:03,580 --> 00:37:07,580
MUSIC: Free Money by Patti Smith

661
00:37:15,180 --> 00:37:19,180
[HE SIGHS]

662
00:37:19,220 --> 00:37:23,220
Tomothy, it's me. I'll do it.
I'll take the job.

663
00:37:26,660 --> 00:37:30,660
Just please, please,
please turn the pipe back on.

664
00:37:34,380 --> 00:37:38,380
♪ Every night before I rest my head

665
00:37:41,980 --> 00:37:45,980
♪ See those dollar bills go swirling
round my bed

666
00:37:49,300 --> 00:37:53,300
♪ I know they're stolen
But I don't feel bad

667
00:37:56,140 --> 00:38:00,140
♪ I take that money
Buy you things you never had. ♪

668
00:38:00,141 --> 00:38:02,141
Subtitle by peritta