1 00:00:02,248 --> 00:00:04,100 (sing-songy) Good morning. 2 00:00:04,102 --> 00:00:06,150 No, great morning. 3 00:00:06,272 --> 00:00:09,443 Ooh! Look at you all cheery! 4 00:00:09,445 --> 00:00:11,097 Did you have whiskey in your coffee too? 5 00:00:11,403 --> 00:00:13,544 Uh, so do you remember when Josh told me that 6 00:00:13,546 --> 00:00:15,722 I should start dating again and I was really sad? 7 00:00:15,724 --> 00:00:18,097 Well, I'm not anymore. You wanna know why? 8 00:00:18,099 --> 00:00:19,353 One moment. 9 00:00:21,060 --> 00:00:23,169 Ah. Okay, lay it on me. 10 00:00:23,171 --> 00:00:25,451 Well, because I'm back on the market, Yolanda. 11 00:00:25,453 --> 00:00:26,904 I signed up for this new dating app 12 00:00:26,906 --> 00:00:29,108 called "What's Cookin'?" for single foodies like me, 13 00:00:29,110 --> 00:00:31,191 and 48 guys already sent me a hot pepper. 14 00:00:31,193 --> 00:00:32,482 Ooh! 15 00:00:32,813 --> 00:00:34,181 Show me the biggest one. 16 00:00:36,399 --> 00:00:39,805 No. Yolanda, a hot pepper is like a wink, and I got tons of 'em. 17 00:00:39,807 --> 00:00:44,994 Oh, I get it. That's how you know they wanna get jalapeño business. 18 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:48,980 Exactly, and that's when I realized enough about Josh. 19 00:00:48,982 --> 00:00:51,124 There are a million Joshes in the sea! 20 00:00:51,283 --> 00:00:52,483 See? 21 00:00:52,485 --> 00:00:54,369 Ooh, he's cute. 22 00:00:54,371 --> 00:00:57,678 His name's Conrad. He's six-one, he has a successful clothing business, 23 00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:00,072 and he's taking me to a new tapas bar tonight. 24 00:01:00,074 --> 00:01:03,148 (gasps) A topless bar on the first date?! 25 00:01:04,697 --> 00:01:06,804 No. Tapas. 26 00:01:06,806 --> 00:01:10,376 Conrad is looking for commitment, unlike other people who live in this penthouse. 27 00:01:10,378 --> 00:01:12,089 (knocking, door opening) 28 00:01:12,091 --> 00:01:16,656 Ladies, by midnight tonight, we are all gonna be filthy rich! 29 00:01:17,810 --> 00:01:19,369 Uh-oh. What'd you do? 30 00:01:19,849 --> 00:01:21,461 Everyone at Soul Spin was talking about 31 00:01:21,464 --> 00:01:23,769 the Mega Ball Jackpot, and the drawing's tonight, 32 00:01:23,771 --> 00:01:25,480 so I thought should all go in on a ticket. 33 00:01:25,897 --> 00:01:27,358 Oh, I'm sorry, but according 34 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:30,834 to my gamblers anonymous rules, I'm not allowed to participate. 35 00:01:32,088 --> 00:01:34,050 Well, it's up to $500 million. 36 00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:35,856 Well, good thing it's anonymous! 37 00:01:36,990 --> 00:01:39,826 Are you doing the Mega Ball? I'm in. 38 00:01:40,324 --> 00:01:41,906 I'll take number three. 39 00:01:41,908 --> 00:01:44,603 That's how many months before Alan and I go broke. 40 00:01:46,245 --> 00:01:49,779 They raised the rent on the karaoke bar and he lost the lease. 41 00:01:49,781 --> 00:01:51,212 Oh, my God! What is he gonna do? 42 00:01:51,214 --> 00:01:53,847 - That's what I asked. - Does he have any other skills? 43 00:01:53,849 --> 00:01:55,116 That’s what I asked. 44 00:01:56,378 --> 00:01:58,464 Poor Alan. Is he okay? 45 00:01:59,332 --> 00:02:01,025 That's what I didn't ask. 46 00:02:02,414 --> 00:02:04,493 No wonder he's mad at me! 47 00:02:05,068 --> 00:02:06,959 Oh, my God, I am so loving today. 48 00:02:06,961 --> 00:02:09,307 I am so over Josh, I have a really hot date tonight, 49 00:02:09,309 --> 00:02:11,025 and we're gonna win the lottery. 50 00:02:11,027 --> 00:02:13,399 It's blue skies and sunshine from here on out. 51 00:02:13,401 --> 00:02:14,999 (thunder crashing) 52 00:02:16,107 --> 00:02:19,934 Oh. You hear that, people? That's the winds of change a'blowin'. 53 00:02:21,424 --> 00:02:23,263 (theme music playing) 54 00:02:26,773 --> 00:02:29,033 ♪ She in the spotlight 55 00:02:29,035 --> 00:02:30,636 ♪ And she turned my head 56 00:02:30,638 --> 00:02:32,649 ♪ She'd run a red light 57 00:02:32,651 --> 00:02:34,469 ♪ 'Cause she's bad like that 58 00:02:34,471 --> 00:02:38,283 ♪ I like that ooh, baby, ooh, baby, baby 59 00:02:38,285 --> 00:02:41,409 - ♪ I like that ooh, baby ooh, baby ♪ - Sync/corrections PetaG - addic7ed.com 60 00:02:45,012 --> 00:02:46,252 What are you doing? 61 00:02:46,254 --> 00:02:48,262 I am de-Kaminski-ing our apartment. 62 00:02:48,264 --> 00:02:50,982 Anything Josh has given me, I am throwing away. 63 00:02:50,991 --> 00:02:54,776 Oh, like this electric fork that automatically twirls your spaghetti up. 64 00:02:54,778 --> 00:02:56,550 (whirring) 65 00:02:56,552 --> 00:02:57,829 I love that fork. 66 00:02:57,831 --> 00:02:59,871 - Well, get over it! It's gone! - (clank) 67 00:03:00,115 --> 00:03:03,560 So do I look cute for my date? Like hot pepper cute? 68 00:03:04,327 --> 00:03:07,767 You look amazing, but, uh... didn't Josh buy you that jacket? 69 00:03:08,170 --> 00:03:09,438 Oh, good catch! 70 00:03:09,858 --> 00:03:12,070 And, uh, what about the car he bought ya? 71 00:03:12,809 --> 00:03:14,149 Let's not go crazy. 72 00:03:15,318 --> 00:03:16,785 Hey, what's all that for? 73 00:03:16,787 --> 00:03:19,390 Well, Elliot and Yolanda are coming over tonight 74 00:03:19,392 --> 00:03:21,921 to watch the Mega Ball Lottery numbers being drawn, 75 00:03:21,923 --> 00:03:24,260 and I just bought our winning ticket. 76 00:03:24,262 --> 00:03:26,936 Oh, that's right! Hey, what time are we becoming millionaires? 77 00:03:26,938 --> 00:03:29,261 I, uh, might invite Conrad back with me to watch. 78 00:03:29,263 --> 00:03:31,470 Uh, no, no. What if you win? 79 00:03:31,472 --> 00:03:33,668 Then you'll never know if he likes you for you of your money. 80 00:03:33,670 --> 00:03:36,348 - (knocking) - Oh, my God, it's him. 81 00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:38,701 All right, have fun. I'm gonna go put on a sports bra 82 00:03:38,703 --> 00:03:41,994 so when we win and I jump up and down, my boobs don't go flyin'! 83 00:03:45,042 --> 00:03:47,701 - Hi. - Hi, I'm Conrad. 84 00:03:47,703 --> 00:03:49,952 And wow, do you look better than your picture. 85 00:03:49,954 --> 00:03:51,280 Oh, thank you. 86 00:03:51,282 --> 00:03:53,921 I'm really excited to go to that tapas bar you were talking about. 87 00:03:53,923 --> 00:03:57,212 Oh, it just started to rain. You better put on a jacket. 88 00:03:57,214 --> 00:03:58,696 Oh. Okay. Thanks. 89 00:03:59,922 --> 00:04:01,122 Trust me... 90 00:04:01,124 --> 00:04:04,851 it's the only time I'll be asking you to put on clothes. 91 00:04:13,977 --> 00:04:15,775 So, Josh, in our last appointment, 92 00:04:15,777 --> 00:04:18,660 we talked about you letting Gabi start dating. 93 00:04:18,662 --> 00:04:19,898 How'd that go? 94 00:04:21,258 --> 00:04:24,040 I guess it went fine. I don't feel great about it. 95 00:04:24,459 --> 00:04:28,021 I mean, I want her to be happy, but I want her to be happy with me. 96 00:04:29,964 --> 00:04:31,187 Is it hot in here? 97 00:04:31,427 --> 00:04:33,826 That's your follow-up question at 300 bucks an hour? 98 00:04:37,688 --> 00:04:39,255 - Josh? - Hm? 99 00:04:39,341 --> 00:04:40,813 Are you staring at me? 100 00:04:41,256 --> 00:04:42,456 No. 101 00:04:43,436 --> 00:04:46,085 - Mm-mm. - It's not a crime to look at my body. 102 00:04:46,544 --> 00:04:50,480 Is it a crime to touch it? (chuckles) I'm kidding! I am so kidding. 103 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:53,295 - Which part would you like to touch? - Can I pick two? 104 00:04:54,441 --> 00:04:55,759 What's happening? 105 00:04:55,761 --> 00:04:57,321 What is happening? 106 00:04:58,386 --> 00:04:59,768 This is so happening. 107 00:04:59,972 --> 00:05:01,220 Oh, God. 108 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:03,520 Josh! 109 00:05:03,522 --> 00:05:05,490 (both scream) 110 00:05:05,492 --> 00:05:07,835 Oh... Oh, my God. 111 00:05:08,205 --> 00:05:09,461 Oh, it was a dream. 112 00:05:09,964 --> 00:05:13,651 Well, speaking of dreams, you made mine come true. 113 00:05:13,653 --> 00:05:16,491 Thank you so much for letting me redo your office. 114 00:05:16,905 --> 00:05:18,105 What? 115 00:05:18,188 --> 00:05:20,274 Wait, you mean Elliot didn't tell you 116 00:05:20,276 --> 00:05:22,808 about how they raised the rent on my karaoke bar, 117 00:05:22,810 --> 00:05:24,833 "Me Sing? I Could Never. Okay." 118 00:05:25,276 --> 00:05:27,808 And now I'm pursuing my passion for interior design, 119 00:05:27,810 --> 00:05:29,957 which my first project is to redo your office 120 00:05:29,959 --> 00:05:31,568 for a reasonable, yet generous fee? 121 00:05:32,770 --> 00:05:35,034 Uh... no. 122 00:05:35,036 --> 00:05:37,178 Oy, I can't believe that man. 123 00:05:37,180 --> 00:05:39,556 This is so embarrassing. I'm horrified... 124 00:05:39,558 --> 00:05:42,671 like you must be every time you walk into this hellhole of an office. 125 00:05:43,262 --> 00:05:44,462 You okay? 126 00:05:45,081 --> 00:05:47,832 Alan... have you ever been in therapy? 127 00:05:47,834 --> 00:05:51,626 Please. I'm Jewish, gay, and I witnessed a murder. 128 00:05:52,307 --> 00:05:55,048 Better question is have I ever been out of therapy. 129 00:05:55,050 --> 00:05:56,883 Okay. I want to talk to you about something, 130 00:05:56,886 --> 00:06:00,087 but you have to promise not to say anything to anyone. 131 00:06:00,089 --> 00:06:01,384 Nothing leaves this room... 132 00:06:01,637 --> 00:06:04,161 other than those hideous leather football helmets, God willing. 133 00:06:05,205 --> 00:06:06,756 Okay, so... 134 00:06:08,409 --> 00:06:12,144 The dream I was having, was a sex dream... 135 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:14,597 about my therapist. 136 00:06:14,599 --> 00:06:17,489 Seriously? That's nothing to worry about. 137 00:06:17,491 --> 00:06:20,325 I've had sex dreams about my mother, my rabbi, you, 138 00:06:20,327 --> 00:06:22,069 and that was all in one dream. 139 00:06:22,071 --> 00:06:24,419 Yeah, but the whole point of me going to therapy was to fix my 140 00:06:24,421 --> 00:06:25,633 commitment issues with Gabi. 141 00:06:25,865 --> 00:06:28,469 Gabi's the one I want. I don't want to start falling for Dr. Rounds. 142 00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:30,097 Oh, bubala please. 143 00:06:30,099 --> 00:06:32,763 You're not falling for her. It's called transference. 144 00:06:32,765 --> 00:06:34,969 Your feelings for Gabi are being projected onto your doctor. 145 00:06:34,971 --> 00:06:36,489 It's all part of the process. 146 00:06:36,491 --> 00:06:37,691 - It is? - Yes. 147 00:06:37,693 --> 00:06:39,582 It's totally natural. 148 00:06:39,779 --> 00:06:42,972 Unlike this laminate flooring, which, hello, you're a millionaire. 149 00:06:44,138 --> 00:06:45,641 So what do I do about it? 150 00:06:45,643 --> 00:06:47,721 This is the whole reason you're paying a therapist. 151 00:06:47,723 --> 00:06:49,181 You have to tell her about your dream. 152 00:06:49,183 --> 00:06:51,923 - Oh, it's so embarrassing. - Joshua. 153 00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:53,937 Fine, I'll tell her. 154 00:06:54,482 --> 00:06:56,749 And anything you want to tell me? 155 00:06:57,299 --> 00:06:58,499 You're hired. 156 00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:01,731 What? Me design? I could never. Okay. 157 00:07:07,458 --> 00:07:09,167 Gabi, tonight was amazing. 158 00:07:09,169 --> 00:07:11,540 You're amazing. I'm amazing. 159 00:07:11,895 --> 00:07:13,685 Yes, so many things are amazing. 160 00:07:13,687 --> 00:07:15,514 - Well, good night. - (chuckles) 161 00:07:15,516 --> 00:07:17,349 I know what that's code for. 162 00:07:17,351 --> 00:07:19,487 "Break me off a piece of that Conrad." 163 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:24,364 No. No codes here. Good night. 164 00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:26,559 Hey, hey, hey! 165 00:07:27,916 --> 00:07:29,116 What are you doin'? 166 00:07:29,118 --> 00:07:30,879 Coming in for a "drink." 167 00:07:31,339 --> 00:07:34,956 And just so you know, I'm not one of those guys who ditches right after. 168 00:07:34,966 --> 00:07:36,501 I'm a primo cuddler. 169 00:07:36,503 --> 00:07:38,622 You'll find that out soon, Little Spoon. 170 00:07:40,392 --> 00:07:42,806 Ew. Enough, okay? 171 00:07:42,808 --> 00:07:45,978 I've been trying to be nice, but you're gross. You need to leave. 172 00:07:45,980 --> 00:07:47,739 Wait, you're rejecting me? 173 00:07:47,741 --> 00:07:51,072 You used the wrong spelling of "your" twice in your profile, 174 00:07:51,074 --> 00:07:55,017 but I still thought, "Hey, let's give the cute, dumb girl a chance." 175 00:07:55,019 --> 00:07:56,984 Me dumb? You dumb! 176 00:07:56,986 --> 00:07:59,866 That soup you sent back for being too cold was gazpacho! 177 00:07:59,868 --> 00:08:01,153 You're not a foodie at all! 178 00:08:01,155 --> 00:08:03,416 I bet you just go on every dating website there is. 179 00:08:03,418 --> 00:08:06,298 Uh, yeah. It's called a numbers game, dummy. 180 00:08:07,208 --> 00:08:09,446 - See you never! - See you never-er! 181 00:08:12,207 --> 00:08:13,823 Oh, my God, I could scream! 182 00:08:13,825 --> 00:08:15,856 (all scream) 183 00:08:15,858 --> 00:08:18,281 - What? What? What? What?! - We just won! 184 00:08:18,283 --> 00:08:20,545 Oh, my God, we won $500 million? 185 00:08:20,547 --> 00:08:23,386 No! We only got five of the numbers! 186 00:08:23,819 --> 00:08:25,186 So why are we jumping?! 187 00:08:25,188 --> 00:08:28,372 Because we still won $500,000! 188 00:08:28,374 --> 00:08:30,919 Oh, my God! I should have worn a sports bra too. 189 00:08:30,921 --> 00:08:33,921 So where's the ticket? Get the freaking ticket! 190 00:08:34,850 --> 00:08:37,991 Relax, okay? It's right... here. 191 00:08:37,993 --> 00:08:39,600 (All) Oh, my God, oh, my God... 192 00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:41,880 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God! 193 00:08:41,882 --> 00:08:43,584 - What, what, what? - I put the ticket in the jean jacket 194 00:08:43,586 --> 00:08:44,787 and now the jacket's not here! 195 00:08:44,789 --> 00:08:46,415 The jacket's not here! 196 00:08:46,417 --> 00:08:47,968 (chuckles) 197 00:08:47,970 --> 00:08:50,102 The look on your faces right now is so great 198 00:08:50,104 --> 00:08:52,126 because what happened was I was going on my date with Conrad 199 00:08:52,128 --> 00:08:54,228 and I borrowed Sofia's jean jacket instead, 200 00:08:54,390 --> 00:08:57,412 and that's why I'm wearing it... a-right... a-now. 201 00:09:00,023 --> 00:09:01,500 I'm not wearing it, am I? 202 00:09:07,107 --> 00:09:09,888 Okay, Conrad's still not picking up and his voice mail's full. 203 00:09:09,890 --> 00:09:12,335 And he's not answering because he hates you. 204 00:09:12,337 --> 00:09:15,381 I hate you. Everybody hates you. This is all your fault. 205 00:09:15,383 --> 00:09:18,439 Okay, yes, I left the jacket in his car. 206 00:09:18,441 --> 00:09:22,379 But in my defense, who hides a lottery ticket in a jacket? 207 00:09:22,731 --> 00:09:25,368 Who wears a jean jacket on a first date, Reba? 208 00:09:25,370 --> 00:09:27,058 Hey! It was raining! 209 00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:29,767 I just found the u-ugliest jacket I could find! 210 00:09:29,769 --> 00:09:31,899 Oh, "ugly"? "Ugly"? Let me tell you something 211 00:09:31,901 --> 00:09:33,282 - about ugly, you jacket thief! - No, let me tell you something about... 212 00:09:33,284 --> 00:09:36,169 Stop it, you cackling bitches! 213 00:09:37,180 --> 00:09:39,315 Listen, this is not my fault, okay? 214 00:09:39,317 --> 00:09:42,698 You know whose fault it is? Josh's. If he didn't have his commitment issues, 215 00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:45,582 which forced me to start dating, I never would have met Conrad 216 00:09:45,584 --> 00:09:49,183 and I never would have had to wear Sofia's ugly jacket. Boom! Josh's fault! 217 00:09:49,878 --> 00:09:52,199 It's not my fault! It's called transference! 218 00:09:53,432 --> 00:09:54,819 Did Alan say some... 219 00:09:55,740 --> 00:09:57,240 thing? What you guys talking about? 220 00:09:58,897 --> 00:10:01,468 Somebody lost a lottery ticket. What are you talking about? 221 00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:03,068 Breakfast. 222 00:10:04,066 --> 00:10:05,845 I want to have breakfast in my office. 223 00:10:05,847 --> 00:10:08,377 Can you please transference those scones into my office? 224 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:13,960 Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah. 225 00:10:13,969 --> 00:10:16,393 Drop the scone and pick up your phone. 226 00:10:17,745 --> 00:10:19,213 Okay, fine. But I don't know why 227 00:10:19,215 --> 00:10:21,769 you think after I called him a thousand times he's just 228 00:10:21,771 --> 00:10:23,451 - suddenly gonna pick up. - (Conrad) Hello? 229 00:10:23,561 --> 00:10:24,761 Conrad! 230 00:10:24,763 --> 00:10:28,267 Hey, I got your 40 messages. What's up, Desperate? 231 00:10:30,048 --> 00:10:33,370 I can't do this. I hate him. I hate him. Okay, fine. 232 00:10:33,570 --> 00:10:35,014 Hey, Conrad. 233 00:10:35,172 --> 00:10:39,273 It turns out I... I'm down for that... primo cuddle. 234 00:10:40,770 --> 00:10:44,156 So, why don't you drive here in your car and do that now? 235 00:10:46,142 --> 00:10:49,252 Sorry, Little Spoon, I'm still in my PJs. 236 00:10:49,361 --> 00:10:52,012 But I would be willing to let you make me dinner tonight. 237 00:10:52,014 --> 00:10:53,498 And since we're both foodies, 238 00:10:53,499 --> 00:10:56,111 I'll bring you Conrad's famous cannoli. 239 00:10:56,113 --> 00:10:58,088 Oh, okay. You make cannoli? 240 00:10:58,090 --> 00:10:59,290 Nope. 241 00:11:01,514 --> 00:11:02,714 (beep) 242 00:11:07,044 --> 00:11:08,403 (thunder crashes) 243 00:11:08,405 --> 00:11:09,605 Wow. 244 00:11:09,607 --> 00:11:13,044 That is some storm out there, huh? 245 00:11:13,851 --> 00:11:16,314 Josh, that's the third time you've said that. 246 00:11:16,315 --> 00:11:18,388 In your message, you said you really needed to talk 247 00:11:18,390 --> 00:11:19,590 and asked me to squeeze you in. 248 00:11:19,592 --> 00:11:23,430 (chuckles) I never said anything about squeezing anything. 249 00:11:24,405 --> 00:11:26,242 - Josh. - Fine. 250 00:11:28,498 --> 00:11:31,266 I had... a dream... 251 00:11:31,669 --> 00:11:34,311 that was... 252 00:11:35,037 --> 00:11:38,112 sexual in nature, involving sex. 253 00:11:39,479 --> 00:11:41,831 Huh. Was anyone else in it? 254 00:11:41,833 --> 00:11:43,452 There was, there was, there was a woman. 255 00:11:45,454 --> 00:11:48,413 And the woman who it was was... 256 00:11:48,415 --> 00:11:49,649 (phone rings) 257 00:11:49,651 --> 00:11:52,163 I'm sorry. It only rings through if it's an emergency. 258 00:11:52,165 --> 00:11:53,944 - Just a moment. - (ringing continues) 259 00:11:55,020 --> 00:11:56,220 Hello? 260 00:11:58,152 --> 00:11:59,352 What? 261 00:11:59,834 --> 00:12:01,459 Oh, my God! I am on my way. 262 00:12:01,702 --> 00:12:03,957 A car skidded in the rain and hit my dog. 263 00:12:03,959 --> 00:12:05,997 I am sorry. I have to get to the animal hospital. 264 00:12:05,999 --> 00:12:07,332 - (keys plop) - Damn it. 265 00:12:07,334 --> 00:12:08,959 - Um, hey, you... you can't drive - (groans) 266 00:12:08,961 --> 00:12:12,319 like this. Okay? I'll take you. It's raining cats and dogs out there. 267 00:12:12,321 --> 00:12:13,970 I am so sorry. 268 00:12:19,629 --> 00:12:23,271 Sexy! Perfect diversion! He won't be able to keep his eyes off of you. 269 00:12:23,273 --> 00:12:25,676 (groans) Well, as long as he can keep his hands off of me. 270 00:12:26,596 --> 00:12:29,047 Yeah, well, just keep picturing $500,000. 271 00:12:29,049 --> 00:12:31,470 - (knocking) - Oh, my God, he's here. 272 00:12:31,682 --> 00:12:33,915 Just put on that big, giant smile. 273 00:12:34,940 --> 00:12:37,843 Okay, you have exactly four minutes to get his keys 274 00:12:37,845 --> 00:12:40,057 and get into his car to get the jacket before I kill... 275 00:12:40,059 --> 00:12:41,431 Conrad! 276 00:12:42,057 --> 00:12:44,358 Hey, doll. I knew you'd come crawling back. 277 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:48,716 Oh, yeah, well, you know me so well. (chuckles) I'm a little creepy crawler. 278 00:12:49,337 --> 00:12:52,008 - Yes, you are. - Ha ha, that tickles. 279 00:12:53,696 --> 00:12:57,624 Hello, Conrad. I'm Sofia, the roommate. Can I take your jacket? 280 00:12:57,626 --> 00:12:59,772 And the clothes are coming off already. 281 00:12:59,774 --> 00:13:01,274 (laughs) 282 00:13:01,276 --> 00:13:03,678 (both laugh) 283 00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:05,928 Okay, well, you two have fun. 284 00:13:05,930 --> 00:13:08,312 All right, we will. You have fun doing whatever you're doing 285 00:13:08,314 --> 00:13:09,817 as fast as you possibly can! 286 00:13:10,408 --> 00:13:11,608 (door closes) 287 00:13:14,761 --> 00:13:17,775 It's not up here! You guys find anything? 288 00:13:17,777 --> 00:13:19,992 No. There's nothing back here. 289 00:13:20,693 --> 00:13:22,653 Yolanda? Aah! 290 00:13:22,655 --> 00:13:24,951 (muffled screams) 291 00:13:25,385 --> 00:13:27,429 Ew, licorice. 292 00:13:27,594 --> 00:13:28,832 What the hell?! 293 00:13:29,429 --> 00:13:31,184 I get low blood sugar. 294 00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:33,536 You ever hear of a purse, bitch? 295 00:13:37,906 --> 00:13:39,571 So, Conrad... 296 00:13:41,683 --> 00:13:45,710 can I get you anything? Um, beer, wine, or... 297 00:13:45,712 --> 00:13:47,690 we could just do shots till you pass out. 298 00:13:48,526 --> 00:13:50,589 Trying to get me drunk. 299 00:13:50,736 --> 00:13:52,384 I know that game. 300 00:13:52,386 --> 00:13:54,582 You wanna kiss me, don't you? 301 00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:55,784 I don't... 302 00:13:57,266 --> 00:13:58,476 wanna rush it. 303 00:13:58,578 --> 00:14:01,787 No, I'm the kind of girl that likes to get to know a guy first. 304 00:14:01,789 --> 00:14:05,771 I'm 28, I run an online clothing store, and I love Billy Joel. 305 00:14:05,773 --> 00:14:07,346 Let's do this. 306 00:14:07,608 --> 00:14:08,808 (phone chimes) 307 00:14:09,499 --> 00:14:10,734 Oh, damn it. 308 00:14:10,736 --> 00:14:12,016 Problem, babe? 309 00:14:12,233 --> 00:14:14,132 Uh, no. No problem. 310 00:14:14,134 --> 00:14:16,016 It's just that I borrowed my roommate's jacket 311 00:14:16,018 --> 00:14:18,014 for our date last night and now she can't find it. 312 00:14:18,016 --> 00:14:19,570 Oh, you left it in my car. 313 00:14:19,572 --> 00:14:22,128 But it's not in your car. Probably. 314 00:14:23,951 --> 00:14:26,248 That's right. I brought it up to my place. 315 00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:27,772 But here's a plan. 316 00:14:27,774 --> 00:14:30,366 You can get it on our third date... 317 00:14:31,013 --> 00:14:33,005 so you don't get cold the next morning. 318 00:14:33,007 --> 00:14:35,424 (chuckles) Can't wait for that. 319 00:14:36,093 --> 00:14:38,038 So where do you live exactly? 320 00:14:38,515 --> 00:14:40,690 Okay, this is Conrad's place. 321 00:14:40,692 --> 00:14:43,272 Yolanda, you guard the door, Elliot, you watch out for neighbors. 322 00:14:43,274 --> 00:14:44,891 - I'll get the jacket. - Oh, screw that. 323 00:14:44,893 --> 00:14:46,299 We're coming in to help you look. 324 00:14:46,313 --> 00:14:49,110 Yolanda, it's a jean jacket. How hard can it be to find? 325 00:14:53,341 --> 00:14:54,744 Oh, my damn. 326 00:14:55,484 --> 00:14:56,748 Oh, my denim. 327 00:15:00,387 --> 00:15:03,409 So, you wanna do it "Lady and the Tramp" style? 328 00:15:05,137 --> 00:15:08,252 Oh, you mean, like, each taking the ends of the spaghetti in our mouths? 329 00:15:08,254 --> 00:15:09,454 Nope. 330 00:15:09,456 --> 00:15:10,731 (slurps) 331 00:15:15,792 --> 00:15:17,095 (phone rings) 332 00:15:17,259 --> 00:15:19,539 Oh, I'm sorry. I have to take this. 333 00:15:19,541 --> 00:15:22,669 It's my... chael Bolton. 334 00:15:26,244 --> 00:15:27,784 Hey, Michael. 335 00:15:29,269 --> 00:15:32,421 Gabi, I'm looking at literally a thousand denim jackets. 336 00:15:32,423 --> 00:15:34,768 It's like the clothing store from Brokeback Mountain. 337 00:15:36,694 --> 00:15:38,644 (Elliot) Oh, my God! Look at this! 338 00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:40,452 Hold on. I think Elliot might have found it. 339 00:15:44,453 --> 00:15:47,172 Subtly studded with breakaway sleeves. 340 00:15:48,504 --> 00:15:50,736 Viola! It's a vest! 341 00:15:51,187 --> 00:15:52,731 I can't quit it. 342 00:15:53,863 --> 00:15:57,566 Oh, let me see those. Thank you. 343 00:15:57,568 --> 00:15:59,690 Find! The! Jacket! Fool! 344 00:16:01,258 --> 00:16:03,369 Okay, well, hurry. Please hurry. 345 00:16:06,129 --> 00:16:07,541 Is there a problem? 346 00:16:07,543 --> 00:16:11,132 Oh, no. My friend is just having a little trouble. 347 00:16:11,134 --> 00:16:14,008 Finding this? 348 00:16:14,010 --> 00:16:16,946 - (gasps) - (thunder crashes) 349 00:16:20,241 --> 00:16:22,979 I can't believe Sigmund's still in surgery. 350 00:16:23,258 --> 00:16:25,785 Look, I know it's hard, but you should really try to relax. 351 00:16:26,077 --> 00:16:28,283 Hey! Usually it's you saying that to me. 352 00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:34,161 I know it's cliché, but he's my best friend. 353 00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:37,152 You know what would help me get my mind off things? 354 00:16:37,370 --> 00:16:39,205 If we continued with your session. 355 00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,719 Right here, right now? 356 00:16:42,721 --> 00:16:45,143 It would help me focus on something other than Sigmund. 357 00:16:45,498 --> 00:16:47,737 - Please? - Okay. 358 00:16:48,248 --> 00:16:49,448 (exhales loudly) 359 00:16:49,466 --> 00:16:51,193 So... (sighs) 360 00:16:51,227 --> 00:16:53,689 like I was saying, I've been having this... 361 00:16:53,691 --> 00:16:56,099 sexual dream about... 362 00:16:56,101 --> 00:16:57,318 I'm sorry! 363 00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:58,835 (sobs) 364 00:17:03,967 --> 00:17:05,309 Thank you. 365 00:17:07,973 --> 00:17:10,361 Oh, my God, you had that ticket the whole time?! 366 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,768 Why didn't you just go cash it?! Why would you make me sit 367 00:17:12,770 --> 00:17:14,611 through this whole night with you with your gross 368 00:17:14,613 --> 00:17:16,674 come-ons and your sleazy innuendos 369 00:17:16,676 --> 00:17:19,896 and your fog of Euro-trash body spray?! 370 00:17:22,316 --> 00:17:25,247 Gabi, Gabi, Gabi. I did it for this. 371 00:17:25,249 --> 00:17:27,916 - For what?! - To watch you squirm. 372 00:17:27,918 --> 00:17:32,353 I liked you, Gabi. I liked you a lot and you threw it all away. 373 00:17:32,355 --> 00:17:35,265 Let this be a $500,000 lesson. 374 00:17:35,267 --> 00:17:36,569 Hasta la bye-bye. 375 00:17:36,571 --> 00:17:39,039 No, no, no. Hey, hey! No! You're not leaving with that ticket. 376 00:17:39,041 --> 00:17:41,788 Oh, you're gonna stop me? You and what army? 377 00:17:43,199 --> 00:17:45,685 - Where is it? - Give us our ticket. 378 00:17:47,106 --> 00:17:49,896 Let me ask you something, buddy. 379 00:17:50,272 --> 00:17:51,614 Does this come in white? 380 00:17:52,725 --> 00:17:54,419 Everybody back off! 381 00:17:54,421 --> 00:17:56,687 There's no way any of you are getting this ticket. 382 00:17:56,689 --> 00:17:58,845 And there is no way I'd ever choke you out, 383 00:17:58,847 --> 00:18:01,490 wrap you in a shower curtain, and dump you in the East Bay. 384 00:18:04,508 --> 00:18:06,924 Fine. You want it? 385 00:18:07,555 --> 00:18:08,933 Come and get it. 386 00:18:11,336 --> 00:18:12,657 I'm out. 387 00:18:14,685 --> 00:18:16,291 I'm in. Ladies. 388 00:18:18,291 --> 00:18:20,255 (screams) 389 00:18:22,066 --> 00:18:24,720 Run, Elliot! Work those stubby... 390 00:18:25,019 --> 00:18:27,345 You're never getting this ticket from my hands! 391 00:18:27,479 --> 00:18:29,937 - Never! (chuckles) Oh! - Oh, no? 392 00:18:29,939 --> 00:18:31,762 (chuckles) It's mine! 393 00:18:31,764 --> 00:18:33,424 You'll never see this ticket again! 394 00:18:33,426 --> 00:18:35,791 - I'm rich! - (thunder crashes) 395 00:18:35,793 --> 00:18:39,369 (All) Nooooo! 396 00:18:42,383 --> 00:18:46,019 So this ticket is gone forever, 397 00:18:46,021 --> 00:18:48,957 and yet Conrad came out relatively unscathed. 398 00:18:48,959 --> 00:18:50,411 That seems fair. 399 00:18:51,121 --> 00:18:52,321 (phone chimes) 400 00:18:52,323 --> 00:18:54,465 Well, looks like Conrad is doing better. 401 00:18:54,612 --> 00:18:57,662 He just sent me a picture of him high-fouring the nurse. 402 00:18:58,937 --> 00:19:00,934 Okay, can we just, like, take a moment 403 00:19:00,936 --> 00:19:02,616 to reflect on what happened tonight? 404 00:19:02,618 --> 00:19:06,201 I mean, the chances of winning the lottery are, like, one in a gazillion, 405 00:19:06,203 --> 00:19:09,201 and then the chances of lightning striking that ticket 406 00:19:09,203 --> 00:19:11,191 are, like, one in a kajillion, 407 00:19:11,336 --> 00:19:13,539 but both of those things happening at the same time, 408 00:19:13,541 --> 00:19:15,747 that will never happen again. 409 00:19:15,749 --> 00:19:17,336 Exactly. 410 00:19:18,085 --> 00:19:19,549 Do you know what that means? 411 00:19:20,258 --> 00:19:21,913 That I'm not getting a boat. 412 00:19:23,186 --> 00:19:25,779 No, that lighting doesn't strike twice, 413 00:19:25,781 --> 00:19:28,236 and there aren't a million Joshes in the sea. 414 00:19:29,180 --> 00:19:31,137 Sofia, I'm not dating anymore. 415 00:19:31,405 --> 00:19:33,516 Okay? I'm waiting for Josh. 416 00:19:33,518 --> 00:19:35,335 I don't care how long it takes. 417 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:38,575 He's my one in a million. 418 00:19:40,992 --> 00:19:42,192 (phone rings) 419 00:19:43,607 --> 00:19:45,334 (footsteps) 420 00:19:45,336 --> 00:19:47,283 - Jessica Rounds? - That's me. 421 00:19:48,244 --> 00:19:49,971 - How is he? - He's out of surgery. 422 00:19:49,973 --> 00:19:52,495 A couple of broken bones, but he's gonna be just fine. 423 00:19:52,497 --> 00:19:53,745 Oh, thank God! 424 00:19:54,259 --> 00:19:56,297 - (squeals) - (both chuckle) 425 00:19:56,299 --> 00:19:58,505 Thank you so much for being there for me. 426 00:20:06,893 --> 00:20:10,416 (thunder rumbling) 427 00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:19,462 (thunder rumbling) 428 00:20:19,464 --> 00:20:22,132 I'm really sorry you didn't get that lottery ticket. 429 00:20:22,158 --> 00:20:25,259 (sighs) We just could have really used the money. 430 00:20:25,673 --> 00:20:28,371 Thank God you found your calling in interior design. 431 00:20:28,406 --> 00:20:31,788 Uh, my little calling... huh, I should've hung up. 432 00:20:32,043 --> 00:20:33,643 It's a disaster. 433 00:20:33,645 --> 00:20:35,779 What do you think about me becoming a therapist? 434 00:20:36,276 --> 00:20:39,591 Stop it. I bet it's gorgeous. Let me be the judge. 435 00:20:41,401 --> 00:20:44,265 You're gonna make an amazing therapist! 436 00:20:44,267 --> 00:20:47,955 Sync & corrections by PetaG www.addic7ed.com