1 00:00:03,368 --> 00:00:04,717 Okay, Dave, as a doctor, 2 00:00:04,976 --> 00:00:06,964 I've got an unfair advantage in this game 3 00:00:07,072 --> 00:00:08,405 because I'm a master of medical... 4 00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:11,508 Dang it! 5 00:00:11,643 --> 00:00:12,776 It's okay, Dad. 6 00:00:12,811 --> 00:00:14,511 I like playing Operation with you. 7 00:00:14,546 --> 00:00:16,780 I finally get to know what victory tastes like. 8 00:00:21,793 --> 00:00:23,486 Here we go funny bone. 9 00:00:23,622 --> 00:00:24,688 Gets me every time. 10 00:00:24,723 --> 00:00:26,322 Maybe 'cause you don't have one. 11 00:00:26,358 --> 00:00:28,491 Everyone has a funny bone, Dave... 12 00:00:28,527 --> 00:00:29,626 Except Scandinavians. 13 00:00:32,894 --> 00:00:34,664 You're hilarious, Dad. 14 00:00:34,700 --> 00:00:37,734 I know. 15 00:00:39,237 --> 00:00:41,471 Dad, is sex just for making a baby? 16 00:00:44,993 --> 00:00:47,043 Oh, sorry, buddy. I couldn't hear you. 17 00:00:47,079 --> 00:00:48,812 You know, I'm focused on the game. 18 00:00:48,847 --> 00:00:50,346 Is sex... 19 00:00:50,382 --> 00:00:53,316 Is sex just for making a baby?! 20 00:00:55,654 --> 00:00:57,787 Well, son, the thing about that is, 21 00:00:57,823 --> 00:00:59,856 there's birds, bees... 22 00:01:09,957 --> 00:01:12,228 Synced and corrected by Octavia - www.addic7ed.com - 23 00:01:12,817 --> 00:01:14,051 Man, if I hadn't whipped out 24 00:01:14,076 --> 00:01:15,872 the old "pretend to be asleep" trick, 25 00:01:15,907 --> 00:01:18,508 there's no telling where that conversation would've gone. 26 00:01:18,543 --> 00:01:19,743 It might've gone to you 27 00:01:19,778 --> 00:01:21,537 having the sex talk with your son. 28 00:01:21,562 --> 00:01:22,679 Why didn't you do it? 29 00:01:25,347 --> 00:01:27,326 It didn't work during couple's therapy, 30 00:01:27,351 --> 00:01:28,551 and it's not working now. 31 00:01:29,952 --> 00:01:31,892 I just don't think Dave's ready for that stuff. 32 00:01:31,917 --> 00:01:33,525 If he's old enough to ask the questions, 33 00:01:33,550 --> 00:01:35,065 he's old enough to hear the answers. 34 00:01:35,093 --> 00:01:36,392 Plus, you promised you'd do it. 35 00:01:36,428 --> 00:01:38,862 You know I need to work up to things! 36 00:01:38,897 --> 00:01:40,296 Yeah, I know. 37 00:01:40,332 --> 00:01:41,952 You still haven't taken down the Christmas lights, 38 00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:43,780 and it's almost April. 39 00:01:43,902 --> 00:01:45,978 I don't let a calendar rule my life, Allison. 40 00:01:46,003 --> 00:01:47,804 I'm not a Mayan. 41 00:01:48,743 --> 00:01:51,274 Besides, I'm not the only one that's shirking. 42 00:01:51,309 --> 00:01:53,409 You are supposed to give Molly the sex talk. 43 00:01:53,445 --> 00:01:55,378 And I did... six years ago. 44 00:01:55,413 --> 00:01:56,913 Really? How'd it go? 45 00:01:56,948 --> 00:01:58,748 Awkward but informative. 46 00:01:58,784 --> 00:02:01,151 Do you want me to give Dave the talk? 47 00:02:01,186 --> 00:02:02,585 - Yes. - No. 48 00:02:04,176 --> 00:02:05,037 Fine. 49 00:02:05,062 --> 00:02:07,657 I'll teach the boy about the horizontal arts. 50 00:02:07,692 --> 00:02:08,892 Puke. 51 00:02:09,574 --> 00:02:11,895 And, in the spirit of things you said you'd do, 52 00:02:11,930 --> 00:02:13,663 maybe take down the Christmas lights. 53 00:02:13,698 --> 00:02:16,065 Oh, and what about getting the brakes replaced in my car? 54 00:02:16,101 --> 00:02:17,600 When'd you ask me to do that? 55 00:02:17,636 --> 00:02:18,968 Like, a year ago. 56 00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:21,775 The warning light's been on so long, 57 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:23,140 the bulb blew out. 58 00:02:23,175 --> 00:02:24,891 Or did the brakes fix themselves, 59 00:02:24,916 --> 00:02:26,760 like I said might happen? 60 00:02:29,681 --> 00:02:30,613 Oh, snap! 61 00:02:30,649 --> 00:02:32,415 The Rutledges can't use their tickets 62 00:02:32,450 --> 00:02:34,651 to the Doobie Brothers concert tonight! 63 00:02:34,686 --> 00:02:36,152 What do you say? 64 00:02:36,188 --> 00:02:38,388 You up for takin' it to the streets? 65 00:02:38,423 --> 00:02:39,756 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 66 00:02:39,791 --> 00:02:41,491 - Let's listen to the music! - Unh! 67 00:02:41,526 --> 00:02:43,238 Okay, I don't know what's happening, 68 00:02:43,263 --> 00:02:45,228 but I know it's dorky and forced. 69 00:02:46,538 --> 00:02:47,316 Besides, Taylor's mom 70 00:02:47,341 --> 00:02:48,980 is taking us to SAT prep tonight, 71 00:02:49,005 --> 00:02:50,934 so FYI, I can't watch Dave. 72 00:02:50,969 --> 00:02:52,902 Hmm. Think you can find a sitter? 73 00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:54,048 Or you could. 74 00:02:54,197 --> 00:02:56,632 - Fine. I'll get a babysitter... - Mm. 75 00:02:56,657 --> 00:02:58,474 And tell Dave about sex 76 00:02:58,510 --> 00:03:00,476 and get your warning light fixed. 77 00:03:01,379 --> 00:03:03,746 It's not the brake warning light that's the issue. 78 00:03:03,782 --> 00:03:06,082 Yeah, it'll fix itself like the brakes did. 79 00:03:08,499 --> 00:03:09,118 New sweater? 80 00:03:09,154 --> 00:03:10,887 Yeah. What do you think? 81 00:03:12,554 --> 00:03:14,190 Have a good day, Mom. 82 00:03:16,699 --> 00:03:18,928 Wait. What's wrong with my sweater? 83 00:03:18,964 --> 00:03:20,663 Here's the thing. 84 00:03:20,699 --> 00:03:23,145 You've really been dressing like a mom lately, 85 00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:24,676 and I mean like a mom-mom, 86 00:03:24,701 --> 00:03:26,587 not like a Jessica Alba mom. 87 00:03:27,529 --> 00:03:28,905 What are you talking about? 88 00:03:28,940 --> 00:03:30,434 It seems like some moms hit a point 89 00:03:30,459 --> 00:03:33,142 where they start prioritizing comfort over style. 90 00:03:33,178 --> 00:03:37,847 Symptoms include boxy sweaters, drawstring pants, clogs, 91 00:03:39,098 --> 00:03:40,917 and so, so much linen. 92 00:03:42,631 --> 00:03:44,090 Come on, Mom, I'll take you shopping. 93 00:03:44,115 --> 00:03:45,889 This is a cry for help. 94 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:47,301 But I heard it. 95 00:03:48,927 --> 00:03:50,784 Hey, I like my look. 96 00:03:50,815 --> 00:03:53,112 I saw this scarf in a magazine, thank you very much. 97 00:03:53,137 --> 00:03:54,197 Which magazine? 98 00:03:55,050 --> 00:03:56,050 "Giving Up." 99 00:03:57,329 --> 00:03:59,135 It's a yoga magazine 100 00:03:59,170 --> 00:04:00,907 about giving yourself up to the practice! 101 00:04:00,932 --> 00:04:02,205 Don't take it out of con... 102 00:04:09,618 --> 00:04:10,736 No, Mrs. Pancake. 103 00:04:10,761 --> 00:04:12,631 I just wanted to see if you could babysit. 104 00:04:12,896 --> 00:04:14,884 No, please don't give me your social security number. 105 00:04:16,021 --> 00:04:17,287 Okay, hanging up now. 106 00:04:18,851 --> 00:04:19,956 What's going on? 107 00:04:19,991 --> 00:04:21,021 Well, good news... 108 00:04:21,046 --> 00:04:23,115 I think I just sold my elderly neighbor 109 00:04:23,140 --> 00:04:24,327 a reverse mortgage. 110 00:04:26,373 --> 00:04:28,164 Bad news... she was my last hope 111 00:04:28,199 --> 00:04:29,479 at getting a sitter for tonight. 112 00:04:29,534 --> 00:04:31,201 Oh, I could watch Dave. 113 00:04:31,226 --> 00:04:32,419 I love kids. 114 00:04:32,444 --> 00:04:34,583 - You don't have plans? - No. 115 00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:37,907 But thanks for pretending like you thought I might. 116 00:04:38,429 --> 00:04:39,589 You're welcome. 117 00:04:42,769 --> 00:04:44,734 At lunch, do you guys think you could help me with 118 00:04:44,759 --> 00:04:46,259 my online dating profile? 119 00:04:46,284 --> 00:04:48,484 I am attracting the wrong matches. 120 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:50,219 What does your profile say now? 121 00:04:50,759 --> 00:04:52,296 - "Smart, fun gal..." - Mm-hmm. 122 00:04:52,321 --> 00:04:55,291 "seeks rock-hard guy who can stay up all night. 123 00:04:56,294 --> 00:04:58,039 Must not mind sharing a bed 124 00:04:58,084 --> 00:05:01,552 with my two best friends, Marissa and Karen." 125 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:03,166 What? 126 00:05:03,201 --> 00:05:04,999 I want a solid, stable guy 127 00:05:05,024 --> 00:05:06,606 who likes to stay up late talking 128 00:05:06,631 --> 00:05:08,238 and playing with my cats. 129 00:05:08,740 --> 00:05:10,707 Yeah, that's not coming across. 130 00:05:11,405 --> 00:05:12,538 Ooh, maybe I should come up with 131 00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:13,843 a different word for "cats." 132 00:05:13,879 --> 00:05:14,879 - No! - No! 133 00:05:17,641 --> 00:05:19,909 Listen, girl, I would love to stay and help, but I'm having lunch 134 00:05:19,934 --> 00:05:21,409 - with my dreamboat B.F. - Oh. 135 00:05:21,434 --> 00:05:22,886 Story checks out. 136 00:05:24,289 --> 00:05:25,688 Mwah! 137 00:05:26,745 --> 00:05:28,124 You guys are too cute. 138 00:05:28,308 --> 00:05:29,807 I mean that literally. Dial it down. 139 00:05:30,945 --> 00:05:32,162 This is a place of business, 140 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,976 and, yeah, I know Damona and I boned a bunch of times, 141 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,132 but that was different. 142 00:05:36,525 --> 00:05:38,101 I'm the boss. 143 00:05:38,355 --> 00:05:39,836 So, where are you two going for lunch? 144 00:05:39,871 --> 00:05:40,757 Mm, I don't know. 145 00:05:40,782 --> 00:05:42,238 - What do you feel like, hon? - Oh, I don't care. You pick something. 146 00:05:42,274 --> 00:05:43,298 Well, I want whatever you want, 147 00:05:43,323 --> 00:05:44,607 - so we're back to you. - Well, you pick. 148 00:05:44,643 --> 00:05:45,842 - You. No, you pick. - No, I can't pick. 149 00:05:45,877 --> 00:05:47,210 - You do it. - You do it. 150 00:05:47,245 --> 00:05:48,278 Oh, oh, all right. 151 00:05:48,313 --> 00:05:49,679 - Tie. - No tie here. 152 00:05:49,714 --> 00:05:51,147 You win! Let's go. 153 00:05:51,183 --> 00:05:53,449 - All right, bye, guys. Nice to see you. - Yeah, and listen, 154 00:05:53,485 --> 00:05:55,251 I'm sorry you guys had to witness our fight. 155 00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:06,851 Oh, hey! You must be Taylor's mom. 156 00:06:06,876 --> 00:06:08,672 Come on in. I'm Allison. 157 00:06:08,766 --> 00:06:10,800 I'm Grace. Nice to meet you. 158 00:06:11,036 --> 00:06:12,301 Molly will be down in a second. 159 00:06:12,337 --> 00:06:13,836 Thanks for taking the girls to class. 160 00:06:13,905 --> 00:06:15,038 Please, don't thank me. 161 00:06:15,073 --> 00:06:16,120 With the other five at home, 162 00:06:16,145 --> 00:06:18,574 any excuse to get out of the house. 163 00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:22,078 I'm sorry. I'm a bit of a mess today. 164 00:06:22,113 --> 00:06:25,815 I haven't had a shower since the weekend. 165 00:06:25,850 --> 00:06:26,949 Got any wine? 166 00:06:27,621 --> 00:06:28,598 Oh, I... 167 00:06:28,623 --> 00:06:32,955 Oh, look! We're sweater twins! 168 00:06:33,378 --> 00:06:35,258 Hey, how about that? 169 00:06:35,293 --> 00:06:36,826 Sweater twins! 170 00:06:39,197 --> 00:06:40,897 Oh, and great clogs. 171 00:06:40,932 --> 00:06:42,487 I live in clogs. 172 00:06:42,512 --> 00:06:45,168 I love not having laces to deal with. 173 00:06:45,365 --> 00:06:47,804 Bending over's the worst! 174 00:06:48,316 --> 00:06:50,217 Yeah, bending over is pretty terrible. 175 00:06:50,242 --> 00:06:51,674 All right, you guys, have fun. 176 00:06:53,511 --> 00:06:54,677 Okay! 177 00:06:54,712 --> 00:06:57,380 See you later... Mom. 178 00:07:00,918 --> 00:07:02,752 And make sure he's in bed by 10:00. 179 00:07:03,136 --> 00:07:05,160 Do I have to go to bed by 10:00? 180 00:07:05,185 --> 00:07:07,920 It might be tough to squeeze in all our activities. 181 00:07:07,945 --> 00:07:12,361 I brought math flashcards and a terrarium-making kit. 182 00:07:12,386 --> 00:07:14,597 Do I have to stay up till 10:00? 183 00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:16,926 Aww, you! 184 00:07:16,951 --> 00:07:18,568 We're gonna have a ball! 185 00:07:18,603 --> 00:07:19,635 I'm so sorry. 186 00:07:19,660 --> 00:07:21,571 Okay! We should head out. 187 00:07:21,606 --> 00:07:22,783 Have fun, you two. 188 00:07:22,808 --> 00:07:25,808 Oh, my God, hilarious! 189 00:07:26,062 --> 00:07:27,787 You almost wore that old throw blanket 190 00:07:27,812 --> 00:07:28,744 out of the house! 191 00:07:28,780 --> 00:07:30,947 It's a shawl-sweater. 192 00:07:30,982 --> 00:07:32,381 Ooh, it's stunning! 193 00:07:35,987 --> 00:07:37,453 Okay. 194 00:07:37,489 --> 00:07:39,255 What should we do first? 195 00:07:49,208 --> 00:07:51,141 - Hey, what's wrong with you? - Oh, hi. 196 00:07:51,176 --> 00:07:53,417 I-I just got this text from Connor, 197 00:07:53,442 --> 00:07:56,104 saying that he's coming by because "we need to talk." 198 00:07:56,129 --> 00:07:59,116 - So? - So, obviously, he's breaking up with me! 199 00:07:59,451 --> 00:08:01,351 Or maybe he misses your beautiful face. 200 00:08:01,386 --> 00:08:02,736 No, I don't think that's it because I texted him, 201 00:08:02,761 --> 00:08:03,982 "Is it because you miss my beautiful face?" 202 00:08:04,007 --> 00:08:06,427 And then he texted me back, "No!" 203 00:08:07,497 --> 00:08:09,693 Well, either way, I'm sure it's nothing, Clark. 204 00:08:09,728 --> 00:08:10,960 Yeah, listen to Damona. 205 00:08:10,996 --> 00:08:13,273 She's a very wise woman, and she's never wrong. 206 00:08:13,304 --> 00:08:15,218 Thank you, Pat. 207 00:08:15,243 --> 00:08:17,200 You're doomed. 208 00:08:19,274 --> 00:08:20,935 Whoa, what's wrong with you?! 209 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:24,480 I was babysitting for Dr. Ken, and I really screwed up. 210 00:08:24,519 --> 00:08:25,261 Let me guess. 211 00:08:25,286 --> 00:08:26,689 There was an unmarked pill bottle, 212 00:08:26,714 --> 00:08:27,339 and you accidentally took 213 00:08:27,364 --> 00:08:29,134 a bunch of Dr. Ken's growth hormones? 214 00:08:30,831 --> 00:08:31,964 Well, don't worry about it. 215 00:08:31,995 --> 00:08:33,518 They're obviously ineffective. 216 00:08:35,254 --> 00:08:37,996 No, I gave Dave the sex talk. 217 00:08:38,021 --> 00:08:39,332 What?! Why?! 218 00:08:39,844 --> 00:08:41,582 He started asking me all these questions, 219 00:08:41,607 --> 00:08:43,150 one after another. 220 00:08:43,175 --> 00:08:44,413 I thought it was only a few minutes, 221 00:08:44,438 --> 00:08:45,610 but then I looked at my phone, 222 00:08:45,635 --> 00:08:47,034 and it had been two hours. 223 00:08:47,900 --> 00:08:49,684 Two hours? 224 00:08:49,709 --> 00:08:53,206 The sex talk my dad gave me lasted 25 cents. 225 00:08:53,231 --> 00:08:54,146 As soon as that was used up, 226 00:08:54,171 --> 00:08:55,904 the curtain came down, and that was that. 227 00:08:57,182 --> 00:08:58,440 Girl, what were you thinking? 228 00:08:58,465 --> 00:08:59,973 Ugh, I don't know! 229 00:09:00,090 --> 00:09:01,178 Once I start talking, 230 00:09:01,363 --> 00:09:03,747 I mean, I'm just a very oral person. 231 00:09:05,484 --> 00:09:07,643 That is not a bad thing. 232 00:09:07,705 --> 00:09:09,304 You wouldn't believe how many people 233 00:09:09,329 --> 00:09:11,150 responded to that on my dating profile. 234 00:09:16,368 --> 00:09:18,161 Take me shopping. 235 00:09:18,197 --> 00:09:19,463 Oh, I would, Mom, 236 00:09:19,498 --> 00:09:20,964 but Linen On The Edge 237 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,333 went out of business six years ago. 238 00:09:23,963 --> 00:09:25,107 I'm serious. 239 00:09:25,286 --> 00:09:27,299 Taylor's mom was a real wake-up call... 240 00:09:27,596 --> 00:09:29,048 Not to mention the 300 other moms 241 00:09:29,073 --> 00:09:30,861 I saw at the Doobie Brothers show. 242 00:09:31,043 --> 00:09:32,109 Also... 243 00:09:32,261 --> 00:09:35,278 one of the Doobie Brothers was wearing my scarf. 244 00:09:35,826 --> 00:09:38,225 Are you ready for people to be able to tell what gender you are 245 00:09:38,250 --> 00:09:39,750 from more than 20 feet away? 246 00:09:40,890 --> 00:09:42,152 I am. 247 00:09:42,187 --> 00:09:44,021 Congratulations. The hardest part is over. 248 00:09:44,366 --> 00:09:45,330 Just be warned, 249 00:09:45,355 --> 00:09:47,335 whatever you wear to the store ain't coming home, 250 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:50,794 so you can kiss that sexy little burnt pumpkin number goodbye. 251 00:09:53,832 --> 00:09:55,265 Hey, Mom, just wanted you to know, 252 00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:57,267 I'm all up to speed on sex stuff now. 253 00:09:57,302 --> 00:09:58,969 Way to not be weird about it. 254 00:10:01,807 --> 00:10:03,420 Hey! You finally did it! 255 00:10:03,445 --> 00:10:04,541 Yep. 256 00:10:04,576 --> 00:10:05,576 What'd I do? 257 00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:07,344 Dave said he knows all about sex. 258 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:09,813 Oh. Right. 259 00:10:09,848 --> 00:10:11,348 Yep. I did it. 260 00:10:11,383 --> 00:10:12,095 At first... 261 00:10:12,119 --> 00:10:13,356 not gonna do it, 262 00:10:13,357 --> 00:10:15,419 but I did. 263 00:10:15,454 --> 00:10:18,055 Wow. I'm so proud. 264 00:10:18,090 --> 00:10:19,222 Way to dad up! 265 00:10:26,131 --> 00:10:27,664 Dave, how did you learn about sex? 266 00:10:27,699 --> 00:10:28,625 From Julie. 267 00:10:28,650 --> 00:10:30,273 She lectured me for about an hour, 268 00:10:30,298 --> 00:10:31,908 followed by a spirited Q&A. 269 00:10:37,276 --> 00:10:39,242 I mean, why does he want to break up with me?! 270 00:10:39,266 --> 00:10:40,007 Look... 271 00:10:40,008 --> 00:10:41,812 you've only got one option here... 272 00:10:41,847 --> 00:10:42,946 a PEB. 273 00:10:42,981 --> 00:10:45,382 - A what? - A preemptive breakup. 274 00:10:45,652 --> 00:10:46,590 Yeah. 275 00:10:46,629 --> 00:10:48,118 When you think someone's gonna dump you, 276 00:10:48,153 --> 00:10:49,352 - you beat them to the punch. - Hmm. 277 00:10:49,388 --> 00:10:50,726 Take control of the narrative, 278 00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:53,156 as in, "Hey, did you hear Clark dumped that fella? 279 00:10:53,327 --> 00:10:55,092 He is not to be trifled with." 280 00:10:55,634 --> 00:11:00,163 That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard! 281 00:11:00,199 --> 00:11:01,372 "Preemptive breakup"? 282 00:11:01,397 --> 00:11:02,999 What if Connor doesn't want to break up with you? 283 00:11:03,035 --> 00:11:05,669 No. He does. I know it. 284 00:11:05,704 --> 00:11:07,270 I've been on the business end of too many 285 00:11:07,306 --> 00:11:09,206 "we need to talk" talks. 286 00:11:10,479 --> 00:11:12,576 The PEB is the way to go. 287 00:11:12,925 --> 00:11:14,177 Thank you, Pat. 288 00:11:15,599 --> 00:11:16,847 You're welcome. 289 00:11:16,882 --> 00:11:20,650 So... this is what it feels like to help people. 290 00:11:20,878 --> 00:11:22,219 I don't care for it. 291 00:11:26,143 --> 00:11:27,609 Julie, we need to talk. 292 00:11:27,634 --> 00:11:29,960 Will everyone please stop saying that?! 293 00:11:34,086 --> 00:11:36,533 Dr. Ken, I am so sorry. 294 00:11:36,568 --> 00:11:38,368 I've already packed my things. 295 00:11:38,719 --> 00:11:40,036 Somebody... 296 00:11:40,072 --> 00:11:41,538 take good care of Plant! 297 00:11:43,242 --> 00:11:44,641 Oh, no, I'm not mad. 298 00:11:44,742 --> 00:11:45,953 You did me a solid. 299 00:11:45,978 --> 00:11:48,111 I've been dreading having that conversation with Dave. 300 00:11:48,147 --> 00:11:49,147 Really? 301 00:11:49,294 --> 00:11:50,197 Oh, but what about Allison? 302 00:11:50,222 --> 00:11:51,148 Is she mad at me? 303 00:11:51,207 --> 00:11:52,215 Oh, she doesn't know. 304 00:11:52,251 --> 00:11:54,117 She assumed I gave Dave the sex talk, 305 00:11:54,153 --> 00:11:55,385 and I did not correct her. 306 00:11:55,420 --> 00:11:58,488 She hates being corrected, and I hate being caught. 307 00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:00,850 Oh, God, I'm so relieved! 308 00:12:00,875 --> 00:12:02,726 I mean, she would've been hella pissed, 309 00:12:02,761 --> 00:12:03,994 but don't worry. 310 00:12:04,019 --> 00:12:06,897 I would never put you in the path of that Mama Bear. 311 00:12:09,168 --> 00:12:10,967 Oh. Hey, Allison. 312 00:12:11,003 --> 00:12:12,869 I just got a call from Principal Michaels. 313 00:12:13,095 --> 00:12:14,564 Apparently, there's an issue with Dave 314 00:12:14,589 --> 00:12:16,506 talking to his classmates about sex. 315 00:12:16,542 --> 00:12:17,976 Well, that was bound to happen. 316 00:12:18,001 --> 00:12:19,147 I was the same way. 317 00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:20,944 When I learned about sex, I wouldn't shut up about it. 318 00:12:21,811 --> 00:12:23,580 Ask any of my med-school friends. 319 00:12:26,020 --> 00:12:28,852 Okay, that's sad, but it's not the issue. 320 00:12:28,887 --> 00:12:32,255 The problem is, apparently, he's wrong about things... 321 00:12:32,453 --> 00:12:34,257 Like, really wrong. 322 00:12:34,293 --> 00:12:35,559 What did you tell him? 323 00:12:36,437 --> 00:12:37,994 I didn't tell Dave anything! It was Julie! 324 00:12:47,186 --> 00:12:49,308 You didn't have to come all the way here. 325 00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:50,222 Oh, no, I wanted to. 326 00:12:50,247 --> 00:12:52,244 I'm just so sorry. 327 00:12:52,269 --> 00:12:54,836 I-I didn't plan to talk to Dave about sex. 328 00:12:54,892 --> 00:12:58,193 I even tried to distract him with a baking soda volcano, 329 00:12:58,331 --> 00:13:02,333 but the eruption led to more questions. 330 00:13:02,811 --> 00:13:04,603 I know how persistent Dave can be 331 00:13:04,628 --> 00:13:05,798 when he's curious. 332 00:13:05,823 --> 00:13:08,524 We once drove 200 miles to the Museum of Scones. 333 00:13:08,581 --> 00:13:09,547 Yeah. 334 00:13:09,572 --> 00:13:10,938 It's a huge racket. 335 00:13:10,963 --> 00:13:12,039 They don't sell jam. 336 00:13:12,064 --> 00:13:14,030 You can't bring your own. 337 00:13:14,281 --> 00:13:15,847 What I don't understand is 338 00:13:15,872 --> 00:13:18,231 how Dave got the information so mixed up. 339 00:13:18,481 --> 00:13:19,519 Yeah, he thought foreplay 340 00:13:19,544 --> 00:13:21,062 was sex with three other people. 341 00:13:22,489 --> 00:13:23,521 Wait, do you think that? 342 00:13:24,491 --> 00:13:27,292 Not... anymore. 343 00:13:28,428 --> 00:13:30,662 There were just so many questions coming at me, 344 00:13:30,697 --> 00:13:32,676 and I-I got nervous and panicked, 345 00:13:32,701 --> 00:13:35,366 and I started mixing things up and forgetting things. 346 00:13:35,402 --> 00:13:36,634 It's okay. 347 00:13:36,670 --> 00:13:38,990 You're not the only person that's forgotten about foreplay. 348 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:41,264 Oh, I'm sorry. 349 00:13:41,289 --> 00:13:43,492 I thought you liked having more time to read. 350 00:13:43,517 --> 00:13:45,707 Okay, thank you for coming over. 351 00:13:45,732 --> 00:13:46,944 We appreciate it. 352 00:13:52,252 --> 00:13:54,482 I'm just gonna make a hard and fast rule 353 00:13:54,507 --> 00:13:57,444 not to talk to children about sex from now on. 354 00:13:57,469 --> 00:13:58,723 Good rule. 355 00:14:01,761 --> 00:14:03,495 Man, can you believe her? 356 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:04,855 What a mess she made! 357 00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:06,680 Oh, really? So this is Julie's fault? 358 00:14:06,866 --> 00:14:07,765 Well, it's not mine. 359 00:14:07,801 --> 00:14:08,617 If you recall, 360 00:14:08,642 --> 00:14:10,682 I'm the one who said Molly should give him the talk. 361 00:14:11,871 --> 00:14:13,771 If you had done your job as a parent, 362 00:14:13,807 --> 00:14:15,773 he never would've needed to ask Julie. 363 00:14:16,239 --> 00:14:17,342 Wow, I didn't think about it... 364 00:14:19,872 --> 00:14:22,273 Why are you dressed like the Hamburglar's naughty daughter?! 365 00:14:24,584 --> 00:14:25,817 Oh, come on! I'm sorry! 366 00:14:25,852 --> 00:14:27,628 Oh, come on! No, no, I didn't mean that! 367 00:14:27,653 --> 00:14:29,386 I shouldn't have shirked my responsibility! 368 00:14:35,553 --> 00:14:36,553 Hey. 369 00:14:37,564 --> 00:14:38,564 Hey. 370 00:14:40,625 --> 00:14:42,100 Did you, uh, get my text? 371 00:14:43,303 --> 00:14:44,303 I did. 372 00:14:45,693 --> 00:14:47,372 Uh, so, should we go somewhere and, uh... 373 00:14:47,407 --> 00:14:48,840 I'm breaking up with you! 374 00:14:49,164 --> 00:14:50,408 Attaboy! 375 00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:52,934 I'm sorry. What? 376 00:14:52,959 --> 00:14:54,864 And you know what? It is your loss! 377 00:14:54,889 --> 00:14:56,334 I don't even like Thai food, 378 00:14:56,359 --> 00:14:58,592 but I eat it with you all the time! 379 00:14:59,169 --> 00:15:02,125 I even go so far as to make adorable puns about it! 380 00:15:02,157 --> 00:15:03,655 But you know what, if that is not enough for you, 381 00:15:03,690 --> 00:15:06,991 well, then you can Thai me a river! 382 00:15:10,521 --> 00:15:12,430 Oh, God, were you not coming here to break up with me? 383 00:15:12,465 --> 00:15:13,798 You know what? Forget what I said. 384 00:15:13,833 --> 00:15:15,433 Want to grab dinner? Hey, how about Thai? Mmm! 385 00:15:15,468 --> 00:15:17,568 Clark, Clark, Clark, Clark! 386 00:15:18,806 --> 00:15:20,673 I actually did come here to break up with you. 387 00:15:20,698 --> 00:15:21,730 Aha! 388 00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:23,988 The plot maintains its exact thickness! 389 00:15:26,214 --> 00:15:27,378 See, I knew you were going to, 390 00:15:27,403 --> 00:15:29,570 so that's why I broke up with you, but... 391 00:15:29,767 --> 00:15:31,298 God, I don't want to. I don't want to either. 392 00:15:31,323 --> 00:15:33,257 Then why?! I don't know! 393 00:15:33,697 --> 00:15:34,886 When we first started dating, 394 00:15:34,921 --> 00:15:36,539 you were this hot-blooded nurse 395 00:15:36,564 --> 00:15:38,530 who knew exactly what he wanted. 396 00:15:38,792 --> 00:15:40,625 And now you've become a kind of pushover 397 00:15:40,660 --> 00:15:42,560 who just wants to do whatever I want to do. 398 00:15:42,596 --> 00:15:43,861 Yeah, but that's just... 399 00:15:43,897 --> 00:15:45,630 It's because I like you so much 400 00:15:45,665 --> 00:15:47,765 that I'm scared I'm gonna screw this up. 401 00:15:48,065 --> 00:15:49,579 You won't if you're yourself. 402 00:15:49,604 --> 00:15:51,436 I'm not gonna dump you because you hate Thai food. 403 00:15:51,471 --> 00:15:52,678 I'm not a monster. 404 00:15:52,703 --> 00:15:54,739 In my defense, a guy did once break up with me 405 00:15:54,774 --> 00:15:57,842 because instead of "cashew," I say, "ca-shew!" 406 00:15:59,431 --> 00:16:02,347 I'm just as scared of screwing this up as you are. 407 00:16:02,548 --> 00:16:04,816 We have to just be ourselves and hope that that's enough. 408 00:16:04,851 --> 00:16:06,384 God, you're more than enough. 409 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:07,960 So are you. 410 00:16:10,768 --> 00:16:12,090 Aww! 411 00:16:13,174 --> 00:16:14,541 Come on, let's get out of here. 412 00:16:14,627 --> 00:16:16,527 I have a few more opinions to fill you in on, 413 00:16:16,563 --> 00:16:17,662 starting with this jacket. 414 00:16:17,697 --> 00:16:19,964 - Yikes. - Have a good night. 415 00:16:20,088 --> 00:16:21,499 - Don't pander to them. - Okay. 416 00:16:22,810 --> 00:16:25,837 Ah... good old PEB. 417 00:16:25,872 --> 00:16:27,839 - Works every time. - No, it doesn't. 418 00:16:27,874 --> 00:16:29,974 Yeah? Well, it worked on you. 419 00:16:30,793 --> 00:16:31,709 Yeah. 420 00:16:31,797 --> 00:16:33,378 I got wind of the fact you were gonna dump me, 421 00:16:33,413 --> 00:16:34,846 and I beat you to the punch. 422 00:16:35,540 --> 00:16:36,247 Oh. 423 00:16:36,283 --> 00:16:38,483 You thought I was gonna break up with you? 424 00:16:38,518 --> 00:16:40,451 Hmm. Interesting. 425 00:16:40,487 --> 00:16:43,388 Well... you were, weren't you? 426 00:16:43,572 --> 00:16:44,622 Maybe. 427 00:16:45,069 --> 00:16:46,457 Well, you know, it doesn't matter. 428 00:16:46,493 --> 00:16:48,026 Point is, you never got closure, 429 00:16:48,061 --> 00:16:49,193 so you're still intrigued. 430 00:16:50,497 --> 00:16:52,297 Ha! I am not! 431 00:16:52,332 --> 00:16:53,498 No? 432 00:16:53,533 --> 00:16:54,873 Well, you want to go get dinner, 433 00:16:54,898 --> 00:16:56,631 followed by an erotic re-awakening? 434 00:16:58,171 --> 00:16:59,937 Damn it, I do. 435 00:17:06,479 --> 00:17:09,113 I can't resist your sneaky ass. 436 00:17:17,489 --> 00:17:19,724 Hey, Al, I took the Christmas lights down. 437 00:17:20,305 --> 00:17:21,938 I also got your brakes fixed. 438 00:17:22,078 --> 00:17:24,696 Admittedly, I may have waited a little long on that one. 439 00:17:24,821 --> 00:17:26,698 I couldn't stop when I pulled into Arturo's... 440 00:17:26,733 --> 00:17:28,299 Came in kind of hot. 441 00:17:28,335 --> 00:17:30,702 Unrelated, you also got a new bumper. 442 00:17:30,875 --> 00:17:32,486 Well, that almost makes up for 443 00:17:32,511 --> 00:17:34,305 delegating our son's sexual education 444 00:17:34,341 --> 00:17:35,873 to someone who thought heavy petting 445 00:17:35,909 --> 00:17:38,443 was what you do to an overweight house cat. 446 00:17:38,847 --> 00:17:40,603 Well, just so you know, 447 00:17:40,628 --> 00:17:42,814 there's a reason I never gave Dave the talk. 448 00:17:42,849 --> 00:17:43,523 Yeah. 449 00:17:43,548 --> 00:17:45,450 You're terrified of awkward conversations, 450 00:17:45,475 --> 00:17:46,610 which is strange 451 00:17:46,635 --> 00:17:49,102 because you create them on a daily basis. 452 00:17:49,537 --> 00:17:51,989 Look, the thing is, Dave's still my little buddy. 453 00:17:52,025 --> 00:17:53,558 He's just an innocent kid, 454 00:17:53,593 --> 00:17:55,927 getting his butt kicked by his dad in Operation. 455 00:17:56,191 --> 00:17:57,028 I know you lost. 456 00:17:57,063 --> 00:17:57,995 Technically, we never finished, 457 00:17:58,031 --> 00:17:59,511 but that's not what's important here. 458 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:02,367 Look, once he knows all about adult stuff, 459 00:18:02,402 --> 00:18:05,103 he'll eventually stop being my little boy, 460 00:18:05,272 --> 00:18:07,072 and I'm just not ready for him to grow up yet. 461 00:18:07,667 --> 00:18:10,007 Okay. I get that. 462 00:18:10,043 --> 00:18:13,678 But part of being a parent is putting aside your own issues 463 00:18:13,713 --> 00:18:16,080 and being there for your kids when they need you. 464 00:18:16,380 --> 00:18:17,380 You're right, Al. 465 00:18:17,599 --> 00:18:19,751 All right, I'll give him the talk. 466 00:18:19,927 --> 00:18:21,719 You know, being a parent sucks. 467 00:18:21,755 --> 00:18:23,888 It sucks... so bad. 468 00:18:28,396 --> 00:18:29,961 Mom?! What happened?! 469 00:18:30,248 --> 00:18:32,397 You're back in beige! 470 00:18:33,108 --> 00:18:35,468 Well, in the 20 minutes it took me 471 00:18:35,493 --> 00:18:36,501 to get into that skirt, 472 00:18:36,536 --> 00:18:38,002 I had some time to think. 473 00:18:38,249 --> 00:18:41,572 And I realized, while I needed a change, 474 00:18:41,731 --> 00:18:44,375 this stuff just isn't me. 475 00:18:44,411 --> 00:18:46,664 I don't want my feet to bleed on a Monday. 476 00:18:48,719 --> 00:18:50,848 I guess that's where we're different. 477 00:18:51,826 --> 00:18:52,733 So... 478 00:18:52,758 --> 00:18:54,625 what are you gonna do with all the things we bought? 479 00:18:54,654 --> 00:18:55,620 I'll just return them. 480 00:18:55,655 --> 00:18:56,888 Good call. 481 00:18:56,923 --> 00:18:58,785 - Wait a minute! - Hmm? 482 00:18:58,810 --> 00:18:59,810 You know what, Mom? 483 00:19:00,442 --> 00:19:02,057 What if you just gave all that stuff to me? 484 00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:04,259 You'd do that for me?! 485 00:19:04,415 --> 00:19:06,097 We're family. 486 00:19:06,132 --> 00:19:07,465 Well, here you go. 487 00:19:08,232 --> 00:19:10,766 I'm just so glad that all worked out! 488 00:19:11,137 --> 00:19:13,171 Mm, you're welcome. 489 00:19:17,366 --> 00:19:19,177 Dude, I think you just got played. 490 00:19:19,212 --> 00:19:20,745 Uh, really? 491 00:19:20,780 --> 00:19:22,146 You knew? 492 00:19:22,182 --> 00:19:23,181 Then why did you even give... 493 00:19:23,216 --> 00:19:25,483 Because she won't always be interested 494 00:19:25,518 --> 00:19:28,085 in manipulating her mother for free clothes. 495 00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:30,335 Huh. 496 00:19:30,401 --> 00:19:32,890 I guess Dave's not the only one growing up too fast. 497 00:19:33,221 --> 00:19:36,260 We need to enjoy these moments while we can. 498 00:19:37,421 --> 00:19:39,030 You're right. 499 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,647 Speaking of enjoying moments... 500 00:19:41,672 --> 00:19:43,868 maybe you and I should have the sex talk first, 501 00:19:43,903 --> 00:19:46,325 you know, just to work out any kinks. 502 00:19:47,273 --> 00:19:48,273 Or to work... 503 00:19:49,536 --> 00:19:51,242 in some kinks... 504 00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:52,910 if you know what I sayin'. 505 00:19:52,946 --> 00:19:54,479 I know what you sayin'. 506 00:19:56,979 --> 00:19:58,249 Actually, can we skip the foreplay? 507 00:19:58,273 --> 00:19:58,939 I just hurt my back 508 00:19:58,940 --> 00:20:00,380 - just doing this whole thing. - Yep. 509 00:20:05,019 --> 00:20:08,654 And because these activities take place beforehand, 510 00:20:08,690 --> 00:20:10,456 it's called "foreplay." 511 00:20:10,775 --> 00:20:12,126 - Get it? - Got it. 512 00:20:12,151 --> 00:20:13,951 Thanks for telling me all this stuff, Dad. 513 00:20:14,369 --> 00:20:15,334 You're welcome, buddy. 514 00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:17,426 Yeah, thank you, Dr. Park. 515 00:20:17,893 --> 00:20:20,694 This has been super informative. 516 00:20:20,758 --> 00:20:22,610 Like, a real eye-opener. 517 00:20:23,868 --> 00:20:26,895 Hey, is it okay if I call you if I have any more questions? 518 00:20:26,995 --> 00:20:29,517 Any time. I think I have a good handle on it. 519 00:20:31,986 --> 00:20:34,635 Well, I've got to get home to the cats. 520 00:20:34,659 --> 00:20:37,085 I've got a night of heavy petting ahead of me.