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Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
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Finding a job where you get
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to work side by side with
your friends can be the best.
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(grunts)
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It can also be the worst.
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I came in with two friends!
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- (grunting)
- (grunting)
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Thank you!
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My name is Cooper Barrett.
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My friends and I are
here to mess up our lives
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so you don't have to.
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_
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- Yeah!
- Yeah!
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- To our success.
- Mm.
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Ah.
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- Hey.
- Hey, how'd you know I was here?
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What are you talking
about? You're always here.
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What's the occasion?
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Oh, uh, their hangover cure
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was just named "Best
New Specialty Beverage"
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by BevWeekly.com.
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Because of us,
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everyone from your
casual Chardonnay sipper
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to your hardened alcoholic
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is waking up to a
better American morning.
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This is how Dr. Penicillin must have felt
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when he created the what-cha-ma-call-it.
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There are so many things
wrong with that statement.
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- Who are you looking for?
- I was hoping
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my girl Kelly would be
here so we could hang out,
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'cause, you know, we have a thing.
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Oh, like a Patty from college thing?
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No, there can never be another Patty.
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That thing was like a powder keg.
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Kelly and I are just, you know,
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we're besties.
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- Hi.
- Who's that?
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I would like to introduce you all
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to my new girlfriend, Ramona.
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(with Southern accent):
Howdy, y'all. Nice to meet you.
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Let me guess. Texas?
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No, but Kelly bet me ten bucks
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I couldn't do the accent.
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- (laughter)
- She can.
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(with British accent):
I'm actually from London.
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- Oh, really?
- Nope. Orange County.
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- (laughing)
- You owe me another ten.
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Oh, God, you're so good at accents!
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- (laughter)
- What the hell is going on?
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Nice to meet you. I'm,
uh, Cooper Barrett.
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Ramona.
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- KELLY: Cooper?
- Yeah.
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- Can I talk with you for a sec?
- Sure. Sorry.
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- Knock it off.
- What did I do?
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You just used your "I want
to sleep with you" voice.
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"Hi. I'm Cooper Barrett."
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I sound like Optimus Prime?
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You are not to sleep with her.
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What? 'Cause of... 'cause of this.
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This? There's no this.
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- So I can sleep with her.
- No! Listen.
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Solid girlfriends do not come easy to me,
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and I don't want you and
your penis messing it up.
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Okay, first of all, she hasn't
even expressed any interest.
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And second, if she did, and
I went through with it, I hope
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you know I respect you enough
to never tell you about it.
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Fine, I won't sleep with her.
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Thank you.
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Hi. I'm Cooper Barrett.
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Hi. I'm Cooper Barrett.
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Hi. I'm Cooper Barrett.
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- Hi.
- There it is.
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- ♪ ♪
- _
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Pretty great, right?
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Can't buy publicity
like that. Free sample.
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Oh, thanks. This makes it seem
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like you run the company by yourself.
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Yeah, you don't even mention us
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one time in this whole thing. It's called
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"Barry's Grandma's Hangover
Cure," not Cooper's.
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Your grandma hasn't been
hungover a day in her life!
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Come on, guys, let's focus
on the big picture, all right?
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That company, HangEnder, won
this award three years in a row,
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and we just beat them. It's
not about individual credit.
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Plus, I would have sung your praises
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- if I was given the opportunity.
- "When asked how he was able
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"to accomplish so much,
he credited the inspiration
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of Steve Jobs and a good night's sleep."
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Yeah, you're right. That
was my window, I blew it.
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- I'm sorry. I...
- "And later, he wished to thank
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"his two best friends: hard work
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- and determination."
- Oh, guys, I messed up.
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But it was a phone interview.
I mean, you guys know
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I value you and your ideas.
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Well, I'm happy to hear you
say that, because I actually
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have a couple ideas about
promotion and social...
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Yeah, hold that thought.
Get your free sample.
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Barry's Grandma's Hangover Cure?
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- Yeah.
- I've heard that stuff's
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made in an apartment,
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and you can taste pig feces.
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What? Where'd you hear that?
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"Barry's Grandma's Hangover Cure
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is made in an apartment with pig feces."
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COOPER: That's simply untrue.
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I mean, he hasn't had
an accident in weeks.
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(snorting)
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I mean, if they would
have said pig urine...
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There's comments from
this CooperSucks person
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all over the net.
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Obviously, the person
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who's posting this
has inside information,
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so they can do serious
damage to our business,
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if they haven't already.
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Okay, so how do we find out
who this CooperSucks69 is?
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I'm one step ahead of you, sir.
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I've traced the IP address, and
it looks like it's someone...
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in our apartment building.
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- What do you want?
- Hey, Virgil. Uh...
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someone's been trolling Barry's
Grandma's Hangover Cure online.
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Uh, you wouldn't happen to know
anything about that, would you?
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What is... trolling?
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Uh, it means people are making
fun of us on the Internet.
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Ooh. Which site do I do that?
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We're not telling you to do that.
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Oh, I'll find out.
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I have so many "Barry's
Grandma's so fat" jokes.
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- (laughing)
- What?!
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Do you really think Mrs.
Billingsly is our troll?
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She's, like, 90 years old.
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Well, we have to cross everyone
in the building off our list.
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You know what? I haven't
seen her in a few weeks.
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Come to think of it, neither have I.
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- Well, at least she led a good life.
- (garbled radio transmission)
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Actually, I think she collaborated
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in the Armenian genocide.
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But still, neat lady.
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I don't get it. We've
checked every apartment.
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Well, not every apartment.
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I can't believe it.
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I never would've suspected it.
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What are you guys doing in my apartment?
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Welcome home... Kelly.
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Or should we say, CooperSucks69?
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Wait. Were the first 68
CooperSucks already taken?
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This is impossible.
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Had anyone else in
your apartment recently?
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- Any male visitors, perhaps?
- BARRY: Or poltergeists?
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I seen this episode
of Ghost Hunters where
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this one ghost went into
this one dude's account
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and messed up his credit. Spooky.
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No guys or ghosts have
been in my apartment.
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I'm the only one who uses this computer.
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Oh, and Ramona.
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Wait, wait, wait, hold up. Say
Ramona's last name is Miller.
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- Right?
- You're already forgetting her name.
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You slept with her, didn't you?!
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- You said she was a trainer?
- Yeah. So?
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Because Ramona Miller is
not a personal trainer.
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She is the President and CEO of
HangEnder, our main competitor.
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KELLY: What?
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NEAL: She clearly saw us as a threat,
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posed to be your friend, just
to get info about us to try
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to take us down!
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To think, I almost slept with her.
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Come to think of it, she was asking
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a lot of questions about your company.
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Why the hell you tell
her about our pig feces?
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Why are you living in an
apartment with pig feces?
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It's stinking up the entire building.
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I think that smell was Mrs. Billingsly.
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What happened to Mrs. Billingsly?
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Honey,
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- I'm so sorry.
- Oh, my God!
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I lose two of my best
girlfriends in one day?
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I'm gonna punch Ramona in
her lying, flawless face!
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Best plan is to get even.
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I have an idea how to do that.
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So do I, so what we do is...
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(Neal groans)
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We all listen to Neal
because I value his ideas.
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- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
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Thanks, Coop. Okay, Kelly, first,
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you're gonna take Ramona out to brunch.
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COOPER: But don't let on that you know
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who she really is.
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Sorry. You're doing great.
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NEAL: Just pretend like
it's a normal brunch.
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KELLY: And then I punch her in the face.
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NEAL: No. You make witty conversation.
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So, tell me about all
that personal training
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- that you definitely do for a living.
- Oh, you know,
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- lots of burpees, that sort of thing.
- Oh. (laughs)
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Will you excuse me? I have to
go to the bathroom really quick.
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NEAL: And then when she's
not paying attention,
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you take her computer and pass
it off to Barry in disguise.
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- Fake mustache and tuxedo?
- No!
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Cooper, be supportive. Yes, Barry,
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like that, but, you
know, something better.
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Got it.
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NEAL: Barry, you'll go to the kitchen
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where you'll find me and Cooper waiting.
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- What is he doing here?
- I'm meeting Leslie next door for lunch.
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I heard you guys were
hiding in the kitchen.
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- By the way, it's me, Barry.
- I know.
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- You look like Neil deGrasse Tyson.
- Interesting.
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- Just like the Milky Way.
- COOPER: Come on, Neal.
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Hurry up! Got to get it before
she gets back from the restroom.
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She should really update this thing.
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- I mean, OS 7? Total noob.
- Neal!
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Got the data. All right. Out.
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NEAL: All we have to do is
return it before Ramona gets back.
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Unless Josh's wife
comes by, notices Kelly,
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and ruins the entire plan.
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Welcome to my life.
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- Kelly!
- Leslie!
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I thought I saw you. Hey.
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You know what? I'm glad
I'm running into you,
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00:08:00,977 --> 00:08:03,053
because I feel like we need to reconnect.
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Why is...? What-what is she doing here?
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Leslie, you remember Ramona, right?
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RAMONA: Hi. You didn't
answer my question.
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Please go do something.
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I mean, I'm...
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I'm gonna meet my husband.
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We're gonna go have brunch
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- next door.
- Go.
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Socially, you know,
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- I'm pretty covered.
- Hey, babe!
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- Oh. Hi.
- What are you doing here? I was just
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walking by, saw you
ladies chatting it up.
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Uh, look at that. Shoelace is untied.
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- Dangerous. There it is.
- Yeah.
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LESLIE: So you guys, like,
hang out all the time?
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Nope, wasn't untied.
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It was actually tied the whole time.
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- Thank God.
- We should go. We got a res.
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- Right, yeah.
- Bouncedy-bounce.
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Yeah, okay, bye. Just
so you know, 37 followers
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on Instagram, so, you
know, super popular.
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- She doesn't care.
- Okay.
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NEAL: And once we successfully
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- put it back in Ramona's bag...
- Bye!
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...go through her
data, cancel her orders,
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and later, Cooper will
call to contact her clients.
246
00:08:49,367 --> 00:08:51,901
Well, I am sorry to
hear that they canceled,
247
00:08:51,937 --> 00:08:53,636
but we have a vehicle in your area
248
00:08:53,671 --> 00:08:56,305
which can get our product
to you within the hour.
249
00:08:56,340 --> 00:08:57,573
(laughs)
250
00:08:57,608 --> 00:08:59,074
All right, thanks so much. Bye-bye.
251
00:08:59,116 --> 00:09:00,717
- Oh, yeah.
- Mm. Can you believe it?
252
00:09:00,742 --> 00:09:02,155
Your plan worked.
253
00:09:02,180 --> 00:09:03,779
Yeah, Cooper, I can believe it.
254
00:09:03,815 --> 00:09:04,674
(like deGrasse Tyson): Can you believe
255
00:09:04,699 --> 00:09:06,471
that our nearest star, Alpha Centauri,
256
00:09:06,496 --> 00:09:08,651
is only four light years away?
257
00:09:08,686 --> 00:09:10,321
Can I just say, I am really enjoying
258
00:09:10,346 --> 00:09:11,519
your Neil deGrasse Tyson.
259
00:09:11,555 --> 00:09:13,322
It is fun and informative.
260
00:09:13,357 --> 00:09:16,325
You know what else is fun? The Milky Way.
261
00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:18,389
- (laughs)
- No, you already used that one.
262
00:09:18,414 --> 00:09:20,628
Pluto is one-third water.
263
00:09:20,664 --> 00:09:21,930
There he is!
264
00:09:21,966 --> 00:09:24,366
(crowd chatter)
265
00:09:28,237 --> 00:09:30,672
This fancy hotel looks
a lot like a biker bar.
266
00:09:30,707 --> 00:09:32,932
It's like an episode of Sons of
Anarchy that doesn't end well.
267
00:09:32,957 --> 00:09:35,406
BARRY: I'm pretty sure there is
no episodes of Sons of Anarchy
268
00:09:35,431 --> 00:09:37,390
- that ends well.
- I'm telling you, this is the address
269
00:09:37,415 --> 00:09:39,481
- listed on Ramona's work order.
- (phone ringing)
270
00:09:39,516 --> 00:09:40,949
This is Cooper.
271
00:09:40,984 --> 00:09:42,851
Hey, Cooper. This is Ramona Miller.
272
00:09:42,886 --> 00:09:45,008
- I'm actually...
- COOPER: The President and CEO
273
00:09:45,033 --> 00:09:47,161
- of HangEnder. I know exactly who...
- Who I am?
274
00:09:47,190 --> 00:09:49,457
I know that you know, but
here's something you don't know.
275
00:09:49,492 --> 00:09:51,158
That order you took from me was a fake.
276
00:09:51,194 --> 00:09:53,194
- (scoffs) What order?
- Moron,
277
00:09:53,229 --> 00:09:56,330
give it up. I've been one step
ahead of you this whole time.
278
00:09:56,366 --> 00:09:57,664
You may be easy on the
eyes, but that doesn't
279
00:09:57,700 --> 00:09:59,367
mean that you know how to run a business.
280
00:09:59,402 --> 00:10:01,368
First rule is, don't ever
work with your friends.
281
00:10:01,403 --> 00:10:02,803
Second rule is shut up.
282
00:10:02,838 --> 00:10:04,571
You're obviously flailing here.
283
00:10:04,607 --> 00:10:06,840
Let me put you out of your misery
and buy your company from you.
284
00:10:06,876 --> 00:10:09,209
You didn't listen to the second rule.
285
00:10:09,244 --> 00:10:10,844
- (dial tone)
- Hmm.
286
00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:12,579
We've been set up.
287
00:10:12,615 --> 00:10:14,047
Let's get out of here before
we get ourselves killed.
288
00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:15,081
Yep.
289
00:10:15,117 --> 00:10:16,516
(shoes squeak)
290
00:10:16,551 --> 00:10:18,192
That was a close one. (chuckles)
291
00:10:18,217 --> 00:10:19,819
(chuckles, gasps)
292
00:10:19,854 --> 00:10:23,056
(gasping)
293
00:10:23,091 --> 00:10:27,106
Okay. Hi. There's so many of you. Okay.
294
00:10:27,131 --> 00:10:29,162
- Hi, guys. Hi.
- Uh, okay.
295
00:10:29,197 --> 00:10:30,230
Hey, guys.
296
00:10:30,265 --> 00:10:31,564
(gasping)
297
00:10:31,599 --> 00:10:32,832
What are you doing?
298
00:10:32,867 --> 00:10:34,834
They gonna kill us anyway.
299
00:10:34,876 --> 00:10:37,744
(grunts, groans)
300
00:10:37,772 --> 00:10:39,071
(shouting)
301
00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:40,940
(groaning)
302
00:10:40,975 --> 00:10:43,843
(shouts, grunts)
303
00:10:44,096 --> 00:10:46,946
- He's not with us!
- Sorry!
304
00:10:50,644 --> 00:10:53,541
My mustache fell off when they
threw me through that window.
305
00:10:53,566 --> 00:10:54,801
Mercury has...
306
00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:56,558
Damn!
307
00:10:56,559 --> 00:10:58,691
All my space facts are gone, Neal!
308
00:10:59,770 --> 00:11:01,317
Okay. Tell me everything.
309
00:11:01,353 --> 00:11:02,718
Did you rub it in Ramona's face yet?
310
00:11:02,754 --> 00:11:04,760
Uh, things didn't exactly work out.
311
00:11:04,785 --> 00:11:07,757
Ramona tricked us into
going to a biker bar, and...
312
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:10,267
Come on, Cooper. Tell everybody
what you're really thinking.
313
00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:11,184
What am I really thinking?
314
00:11:11,208 --> 00:11:13,026
"Uh, the reason I don't
listen to your ideas, Neal, is
315
00:11:13,051 --> 00:11:15,198
"because the one time that I
do, we get outsmarted by a rival
316
00:11:15,223 --> 00:11:16,214
"and thrown through a window.
317
00:11:16,239 --> 00:11:17,613
"Maybe, Neal, instead of complaining
318
00:11:17,638 --> 00:11:19,370
"that you don't get enough
credit, you should acknowledge
319
00:11:19,395 --> 00:11:20,915
"that I'm the brains of the operation.
320
00:11:20,943 --> 00:11:22,825
Just sit your nerdy face
down in front of a computer!"
321
00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:25,783
- Easy, Cooper.
- "And you, you big bastard,
322
00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:28,286
get your ass back in the
kitchen and handle the product!"
323
00:11:28,322 --> 00:11:31,155
You know what, Cooper,
you've gone too far! I'm out!
324
00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:35,783
- I hope you're happy.
- I didn't even say anything.
325
00:11:35,808 --> 00:11:37,895
Okay, I don't even know
who's yelling at who here,
326
00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:39,431
but we need to focus on Ramona.
327
00:11:39,466 --> 00:11:40,887
So there's no truth to what I said?
328
00:11:40,912 --> 00:11:43,434
- Well, it was your plan. But...
- Oh, my God.
329
00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:50,618
Some words you can't take back, Cooper!
330
00:11:50,703 --> 00:11:53,037
You have to go after Neal. Don't you see?
331
00:11:53,072 --> 00:11:55,572
Dividing you guys like this,
this is exactly Ramona's plan.
332
00:11:55,615 --> 00:11:58,582
Okay. I think you're giving
her a little too much credit.
333
00:11:59,692 --> 00:12:01,130
- Hey, Neal.
- Oh, my God.
334
00:12:01,155 --> 00:12:02,479
I heard you're unhappy with Cooper.
335
00:12:02,515 --> 00:12:04,381
Mm. Yeah, it's not going well.
336
00:12:04,416 --> 00:12:06,416
You should've heard the
things he said to me.
337
00:12:06,452 --> 00:12:08,226
You know that I think
you're incredibly impressive
338
00:12:08,251 --> 00:12:10,053
and that I value what you do.
339
00:12:10,111 --> 00:12:11,111
Thank you.
340
00:12:12,525 --> 00:12:13,557
What is it that I do?
341
00:12:13,592 --> 00:12:15,224
The viral marketing. Your Web site.
342
00:12:15,249 --> 00:12:17,203
The entire database you
set up was brilliant.
343
00:12:17,599 --> 00:12:19,328
Your idea for Pajama Tuesdays.
344
00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:21,964
Full disclosure, I just didn't
feel like wearing clothes that day.
345
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:25,935
We could really use your
skills at HangEnder. And...
346
00:12:25,971 --> 00:12:28,604
this would be your starting salary.
347
00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:31,283
I'm sorry, is this some sort of joke?
348
00:12:31,308 --> 00:12:32,908
I mean, Cooper and I are best friends.
349
00:12:32,933 --> 00:12:34,675
I'm not gonna let one little petty f...
350
00:12:35,847 --> 00:12:37,913
- (phone rings)
- This is HangEnder.
351
00:12:37,948 --> 00:12:40,431
- You've reached Neal Fissley's office.
- Oh, Louise?
352
00:12:40,456 --> 00:12:43,377
Can you confirm my
massage will be on a table
353
00:12:43,402 --> 00:12:45,603
and not one of those airport chairs?
354
00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:49,797
And, uh, I'm out of lollipops,
355
00:12:49,822 --> 00:12:51,927
so... thank you.
356
00:12:51,962 --> 00:12:54,429
I can't let her get
away with taking Neal.
357
00:12:54,464 --> 00:12:57,153
I'll help you get her
back, but it could get ugly.
358
00:12:57,178 --> 00:12:58,867
(a la Sean Connery): She
pulls a knife, you pull a gun.
359
00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:00,936
She puts one of yours in the hospital,
360
00:13:00,971 --> 00:13:02,938
you put one of hers in the morgue.
361
00:13:02,973 --> 00:13:04,706
Oh, I've been dying to use
that line from The Untouchables
362
00:13:04,741 --> 00:13:06,708
since '87. May not have been worth it.
363
00:13:06,743 --> 00:13:08,604
It's not about revenge,
okay? It's about business.
364
00:13:08,629 --> 00:13:10,712
And if I want to succeed, I got
to beat Ramona at her own game.
365
00:13:10,747 --> 00:13:13,915
(a la Sean Connery): Well, what
are you prepared to do, Cooper?
366
00:13:13,950 --> 00:13:15,684
- That's not helpful.
- Welcome to the Rock.
367
00:13:18,689 --> 00:13:20,822
- Hello, Ramona.
- Hey, Cooper.
368
00:13:20,865 --> 00:13:22,531
If you're looking for
a job, I'm afraid Neal's
369
00:13:22,558 --> 00:13:24,575
- already hired an assistant.
- That's not why I'm here.
370
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,260
Oh, good, because the
girl who got the job
371
00:13:26,295 --> 00:13:28,596
- is way more qualified than you.
- If you're done,
372
00:13:28,631 --> 00:13:31,647
I have a little proposal for you:
373
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:34,035
you give me Neal back,
374
00:13:34,070 --> 00:13:36,811
and I'll forgive the attack
on my company and I promise
375
00:13:37,092 --> 00:13:38,339
I won't destroy you.
376
00:13:38,374 --> 00:13:41,342
Counterproposal: I keep Neal,
377
00:13:41,377 --> 00:13:43,544
bankrupt your company, and
you come back to my place
378
00:13:43,579 --> 00:13:45,779
and we get rid of the
sexual tension between us.
379
00:13:45,814 --> 00:13:47,314
Interesting idea.
380
00:13:47,350 --> 00:13:50,984
Let me consider/fantasize
about that for a second.
381
00:13:53,088 --> 00:13:55,021
(clears throat)
382
00:13:55,057 --> 00:13:56,623
Not gonna lie, that was amazing.
383
00:13:56,658 --> 00:13:58,558
But I still have to reject your offer.
384
00:13:58,593 --> 00:14:00,707
That's too bad. I have lots of mirrors,
385
00:14:00,732 --> 00:14:02,091
and I had a terrible childhood.
386
00:14:02,116 --> 00:14:05,799
Listen, Ramona, you have no
idea what you're up against.
387
00:14:05,834 --> 00:14:07,234
I think I have a pretty good idea.
388
00:14:07,269 --> 00:14:08,501
You may have Neal,
389
00:14:08,536 --> 00:14:10,403
but I have a better product.
390
00:14:10,438 --> 00:14:12,838
And I still have Barry Sandel.
391
00:14:15,443 --> 00:14:17,343
- ♪
♪
- (brakes squeak)
392
00:14:20,948 --> 00:14:22,677
Hi, Barry. I wanted to discuss...
393
00:14:22,702 --> 00:14:24,917
Look, I know why you're
here and I'm not interested.
394
00:14:24,952 --> 00:14:26,945
But if you could just hear me
out for one second, I think...
395
00:14:26,970 --> 00:14:30,023
It's my grandmother's sweat
and tears in this cure, okay?
396
00:14:30,048 --> 00:14:32,057
Literally. That's the
two main ingredients.
397
00:14:32,093 --> 00:14:33,759
Look, I know Cooper likes
to hog all the credit
398
00:14:33,795 --> 00:14:35,761
and he called me a big bastard,
but at the end of the day,
399
00:14:35,797 --> 00:14:37,263
we are still friends.
400
00:14:37,298 --> 00:14:39,131
Our break room has a milkshake machine.
401
00:14:40,201 --> 00:14:41,700
(phone rings)
402
00:14:41,735 --> 00:14:43,868
This is HangEnder. Barry Sandel's office.
403
00:14:43,904 --> 00:14:46,171
(laughs) HangEnder rules!
404
00:14:46,206 --> 00:14:47,572
Totally.
405
00:14:48,958 --> 00:14:50,241
Louise!
406
00:14:50,277 --> 00:14:53,178
Why am I seeing the
bottom of my lollipop jar?
407
00:14:53,213 --> 00:14:56,281
- Thank you.
- COOPER: All right, Josh,
408
00:14:56,317 --> 00:14:57,849
let's get ugly.
409
00:14:57,884 --> 00:14:59,851
Coyote ugly.
410
00:14:59,886 --> 00:15:01,853
It was on after The Untouchables.
411
00:15:01,888 --> 00:15:04,055
Weird double feature.
412
00:15:04,090 --> 00:15:06,557
Starz is the best.
413
00:15:07,052 --> 00:15:08,419
- All right, let's go.
- Yeah.
414
00:15:12,473 --> 00:15:13,378
It's not gonna work.
415
00:15:13,403 --> 00:15:16,308
- We should've gone with my plan.
- Oh, yeah. Three stink bombs
416
00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:17,596
and a "Ramona Sucks!" banner.
417
00:15:17,621 --> 00:15:20,099
You know what, we'll do that
right after we TP her house
418
00:15:20,124 --> 00:15:21,685
and leave a bag of poo on the front step.
419
00:15:21,710 --> 00:15:24,443
I love that. One tweak: fire.
420
00:15:24,468 --> 00:15:25,527
What's going on?
421
00:15:25,562 --> 00:15:28,162
Just whipping up tons
of the cure for Bev Con.
422
00:15:28,197 --> 00:15:29,697
It's a beverage conference.
423
00:15:29,733 --> 00:15:32,462
We already have a better product
and if we can outsell Ramona
424
00:15:32,487 --> 00:15:34,469
at Bev Con, her company will be destroyed
425
00:15:34,496 --> 00:15:36,925
and our company's rise will be documented
426
00:15:36,957 --> 00:15:38,996
in the next little-seen Aaron Sorkin film.
427
00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:41,613
"Our company"? You're the
only one left in your company.
428
00:15:41,638 --> 00:15:43,595
Okay, I don't need those guys.
I was doing everything anyway.
429
00:15:43,630 --> 00:15:44,796
I can't read Barry's writing.
430
00:15:44,831 --> 00:15:46,628
Does this say "cinnamon" or "cyanide"?
431
00:15:46,653 --> 00:15:48,562
You should probably just assume cinnamon.
432
00:15:48,587 --> 00:15:49,829
Oh, oh, oh. Check it out.
433
00:15:49,853 --> 00:15:51,406
♪ Dun, dun, dun ♪
434
00:15:51,407 --> 00:15:53,083
- Jelly beans.
- Oh.
435
00:15:55,054 --> 00:15:56,687
What's in this one?
436
00:15:56,722 --> 00:15:57,921
Gummy worms!
437
00:15:57,956 --> 00:16:00,123
Josh, can we just focus? I need you to...
438
00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:02,391
chop up 400 onions and then, uh,
439
00:16:02,416 --> 00:16:04,194
throw half of them away.
440
00:16:04,229 --> 00:16:06,655
- What?
- It's Barry's process, so...
441
00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:09,586
Cooper, the reason you
got into this company is so
442
00:16:09,611 --> 00:16:11,434
you could build something
great with your friends.
443
00:16:11,469 --> 00:16:12,802
Maybe you should go and apologize.
444
00:16:12,837 --> 00:16:14,103
It's too late.
445
00:16:14,138 --> 00:16:15,389
They made their choice.
446
00:16:19,475 --> 00:16:21,090
I came here because
Cooper is too stubborn...
447
00:16:21,115 --> 00:16:22,459
What?!
448
00:16:22,484 --> 00:16:24,113
(shouts): I came here
449
00:16:24,148 --> 00:16:26,216
because Cooper is too
stubborn to tell you
450
00:16:26,251 --> 00:16:27,516
how much he needs you guys.
451
00:16:27,551 --> 00:16:28,718
And you need him.
452
00:16:28,753 --> 00:16:31,754
I don't need anything
except for my milkshakes
453
00:16:31,779 --> 00:16:34,256
delivered freezing cold!
454
00:16:34,291 --> 00:16:36,991
I'm talking 32 degrees
Fahrenheit, Scottie, okay?
455
00:16:37,016 --> 00:16:38,467
That's Fahrenheit!
456
00:16:38,492 --> 00:16:41,197
- Son of a bitch.
- Guys,
457
00:16:41,232 --> 00:16:42,965
Ramona doesn't value your ideas.
458
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,330
She just brought you
here to undermine Cooper.
459
00:16:45,355 --> 00:16:46,643
I went and looked at your offices...
460
00:16:46,668 --> 00:16:47,666
you don't even have computers!
461
00:16:47,691 --> 00:16:49,894
Yeah, 'cause our
assistants take dictation...
462
00:16:50,449 --> 00:16:52,916
of our lunch orders and our dreams
463
00:16:52,941 --> 00:16:54,654
and cool inventions that we have.
464
00:16:54,679 --> 00:16:56,109
Hey, Kelly. Nice to see you.
465
00:16:56,134 --> 00:16:57,312
Oh... (mimicking)
466
00:16:57,348 --> 00:16:58,447
That's the spirit.
467
00:16:58,482 --> 00:16:59,914
Ramona, Kelly seems to you think
468
00:16:59,950 --> 00:17:01,226
that we're just pawns
and that you actually
469
00:17:01,251 --> 00:17:02,951
don't value our ideas.
470
00:17:02,986 --> 00:17:03,986
That's ridiculous.
471
00:17:04,020 --> 00:17:05,253
Okay, name one of them.
472
00:17:05,288 --> 00:17:06,487
Um...
473
00:17:06,522 --> 00:17:07,822
Like the commercial we did
474
00:17:07,858 --> 00:17:09,224
about the girls in bikinis
475
00:17:09,259 --> 00:17:10,975
talking to girls in bikinis.
Bikini-bikini.
476
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:12,029
No. That's terrible.
477
00:17:12,054 --> 00:17:13,828
- I worked two days on that.
- That was cream of the crop.
478
00:17:13,864 --> 00:17:14,996
Okay, fine, you're pawns.
479
00:17:15,031 --> 00:17:16,231
But you're well-paid pawns
480
00:17:16,266 --> 00:17:17,398
with offices and assistants.
481
00:17:17,433 --> 00:17:18,466
Kelly.
482
00:17:18,501 --> 00:17:20,501
(mimicking)
483
00:17:20,567 --> 00:17:23,503
Due to recent events, this
milkshake has become less delicious.
484
00:17:23,528 --> 00:17:24,558
It's still a free milkshake.
485
00:17:24,583 --> 00:17:25,640
That's true.
486
00:17:25,675 --> 00:17:27,715
- You guys are worse than Cooper.
- What?!
487
00:17:27,740 --> 00:17:28,909
And he's the worst.
488
00:17:28,944 --> 00:17:29,843
- Huh?!
- Huh?!
489
00:17:29,879 --> 00:17:31,345
♪ ♪
490
00:17:31,381 --> 00:17:32,513
NEAL: Cures your hangover.
491
00:17:32,548 --> 00:17:35,149
BARRY: Yes, HangEnder ends the hang
492
00:17:35,184 --> 00:17:37,117
in the hangover, in the hangover.
493
00:17:37,153 --> 00:17:39,619
- HangEnder! HangEnder!
- Hey, guys.
494
00:17:39,655 --> 00:17:41,993
You're doing great. Just
stay in Cooper's eyeline
495
00:17:42,018 --> 00:17:42,829
and remember...
496
00:17:42,854 --> 00:17:43,991
BOTH: Don't talk to anybody.
497
00:17:44,026 --> 00:17:45,525
Don't touch anything.
498
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:46,593
Perfect.
499
00:17:46,628 --> 00:17:48,447
Barry's Grandma's Hangover Cure
500
00:17:48,472 --> 00:17:50,863
is made from an age-old recipe.
501
00:17:50,899 --> 00:17:52,299
Comes straight from a real grandmother
502
00:17:52,334 --> 00:17:54,601
who used to get hungover
quite a bit, so...
503
00:17:54,636 --> 00:17:56,336
Okay, just, uh...
504
00:17:56,371 --> 00:17:58,938
(people exclaim)
505
00:17:58,973 --> 00:18:01,541
So how many cases do you guys want?
506
00:18:01,576 --> 00:18:03,976
Uh...
507
00:18:04,012 --> 00:18:05,645
Guys, I'm really going
to need you to step it up.
508
00:18:05,681 --> 00:18:07,113
We're working for free.
509
00:18:07,148 --> 00:18:09,392
And I'm drunk from the
hard lemonade booth.
510
00:18:10,584 --> 00:18:12,185
- Would you like brochures?
- (speaks indistinctly)
511
00:18:12,220 --> 00:18:13,786
You were right.
512
00:18:13,822 --> 00:18:15,354
I'll be right back.
513
00:18:16,657 --> 00:18:19,191
Hey, guys. Just, uh, wanted to say
514
00:18:19,216 --> 00:18:21,239
that I should've given you
guys more credit for everything
515
00:18:21,264 --> 00:18:23,462
you did for the company
and I'm really glad
516
00:18:23,497 --> 00:18:24,730
you guys landed somewhere great.
517
00:18:24,765 --> 00:18:26,231
Cooper, we're kind of busy right now.
518
00:18:26,266 --> 00:18:28,871
Okay, understood. Just...
just as long as we...
519
00:18:28,896 --> 00:18:30,902
Call Scottie and set up an appointment.
520
00:18:32,105 --> 00:18:33,639
(quietly): Okay.
521
00:18:33,674 --> 00:18:35,330
RAMONA: Everyone. (clears throat)
522
00:18:35,355 --> 00:18:36,908
Welcome, everyone.
523
00:18:36,944 --> 00:18:38,915
As you all know, hangover
cures are becoming
524
00:18:38,940 --> 00:18:40,906
a billion dollar industry,
525
00:18:40,931 --> 00:18:42,734
and we've got the best
one in the business.
526
00:18:42,759 --> 00:18:44,349
My wonderful team has worked tirelessly
527
00:18:44,384 --> 00:18:46,151
to bring you this incredible video
528
00:18:46,186 --> 00:18:47,997
that will introduce you to our brand.
529
00:18:48,022 --> 00:18:49,087
COOPER: A video?
530
00:18:49,122 --> 00:18:50,322
Oh, come on.
531
00:18:50,357 --> 00:18:51,689
♪ ♪
532
00:18:51,725 --> 00:18:53,658
ANNOUNCER: HangEnder
was founded by President
533
00:18:53,693 --> 00:18:56,542
and CEO Ramona Miller in 2011
534
00:18:56,567 --> 00:18:59,564
after a bachelorette party
gone wrong in Las Vegas.
535
00:18:59,599 --> 00:19:00,665
Oh, yeah, they're happy.
536
00:19:00,700 --> 00:19:02,284
- She looks good.
- HangEnder is made
537
00:19:02,309 --> 00:19:05,202
from only the freshest
and natural ingredients.
538
00:19:05,238 --> 00:19:07,071
Fresh berries, figs,
539
00:19:07,106 --> 00:19:10,074
pubic hair, filth from
humans and pig's poop.
540
00:19:10,109 --> 00:19:11,743
- (people exclaiming, groaning)
- RAMONA: What? Wait.
541
00:19:11,778 --> 00:19:12,609
What's going on?
542
00:19:12,644 --> 00:19:13,969
Ew!
543
00:19:13,994 --> 00:19:16,149
Ramona Miller does not
care about black people.
544
00:19:16,173 --> 00:19:18,515
RAMONA: No! I love black people.
545
00:19:18,550 --> 00:19:19,516
What?
546
00:19:19,551 --> 00:19:20,851
Oh, that's not okay.
547
00:19:20,887 --> 00:19:22,452
Turn it off. Turn it off!
548
00:19:22,488 --> 00:19:23,687
NEAL: And...
549
00:19:23,722 --> 00:19:25,789
(both yell)
550
00:19:27,226 --> 00:19:28,508
Hangover Cures for life.
551
00:19:28,533 --> 00:19:30,375
- (whoops)
- Move out of the way!
552
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:31,220
BARRY: Get out of here.
553
00:19:31,245 --> 00:19:32,896
- It's the best.
- That's right.
554
00:19:32,931 --> 00:19:34,097
Who came up with that?
555
00:19:34,132 --> 00:19:35,439
What are you talking about? We did.
556
00:19:35,464 --> 00:19:36,433
Of course you did.
557
00:19:36,468 --> 00:19:38,493
- That was a great idea, man.
- That was amazing.
558
00:19:38,518 --> 00:19:40,135
All right, let's get back to
work. Let's get back to work.
559
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:42,556
- All right. Let's go.
- KELLY: Yay!
560
00:19:42,581 --> 00:19:44,251
- Oh, hi. Come on, come on, come on.
- Gather round, gather round.
561
00:19:44,276 --> 00:19:45,984
This has no pubic hair in it.
562
00:19:46,009 --> 00:19:46,931
No poo.
563
00:19:46,967 --> 00:19:49,401
(overlapping chatter)
564
00:19:52,381 --> 00:19:53,731
Hey, guys.
565
00:19:53,756 --> 00:19:56,919
I just wanted you to meet my
new best girlfriend, Renee.
566
00:19:56,944 --> 00:19:58,177
My name is Shawna.
567
00:19:58,212 --> 00:20:00,032
We have tons in common
568
00:20:00,057 --> 00:20:01,914
and we're pretty much
inseparable besties.
569
00:20:01,949 --> 00:20:03,415
Uh, you must be Josh.
570
00:20:03,450 --> 00:20:05,617
LESLIE: No. No that one. Kelly.
571
00:20:05,652 --> 00:20:07,837
Did you meet Renee? Look at her.
572
00:20:07,862 --> 00:20:10,040
You're so lucky. Ramona turned out to be,
573
00:20:10,065 --> 00:20:11,680
like, a ruthless shark,
574
00:20:11,705 --> 00:20:13,038
but she got hers.
575
00:20:13,066 --> 00:20:14,888
So you and Ramona aren't friends anymore?
576
00:20:14,921 --> 00:20:15,804
You're free to hang out?
577
00:20:15,829 --> 00:20:17,776
- Yeah, of course.
- Oh, cool.
578
00:20:17,812 --> 00:20:20,078
Renee, I'm going to
have to ask you to leave.
579
00:20:20,113 --> 00:20:22,280
It's Shawna. Why are you still here?
580
00:20:23,250 --> 00:20:25,350
Girls can be so clingy.
581
00:20:25,385 --> 00:20:26,504
(laughs)
582
00:20:26,529 --> 00:20:28,340
So, working with friends...
583
00:20:28,365 --> 00:20:30,105
It can be hard but it can be done.
584
00:20:30,130 --> 00:20:33,462
All you have to do is
admit when you're wrong
585
00:20:33,517 --> 00:20:35,459
and more importantly than anything,
586
00:20:35,494 --> 00:20:36,868
admit when they're right.
587
00:20:37,396 --> 00:20:40,631
And don't let your pig
bathe in your hangover cure.
588
00:20:40,666 --> 00:20:42,845
And maybe don't own a pig.
589
00:20:44,845 --> 00:20:46,078
Ramona.
590
00:20:46,103 --> 00:20:49,373
Are you, uh, here to apply
for the bartender position?
591
00:20:49,679 --> 00:20:52,743
No, I came to congratulate you guys
592
00:20:52,778 --> 00:20:55,794
on Bev Con and to ask how
you'd feel about joining forces.
593
00:20:55,819 --> 00:20:56,926
- Absolutely not.
- What?
594
00:20:56,950 --> 00:20:58,582
- She's crazy.
- Welcome to the Rock.
595
00:20:58,618 --> 00:21:00,544
The bottom line is you
guys have the better product
596
00:21:00,569 --> 00:21:02,403
but you don't have the
resources to get it out there.
597
00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:05,222
I do and I think together
we'd be unstoppable.
598
00:21:05,493 --> 00:21:06,579
What do you say?
599
00:21:06,604 --> 00:21:07,813
I don't know.
600
00:21:07,838 --> 00:21:09,399
I have to ask my partners.
601
00:21:13,775 --> 00:21:15,331
So don't be afraid to
team up with the people
602
00:21:15,367 --> 00:21:17,433
you love the most, because
when it comes to work,
603
00:21:17,469 --> 00:21:19,823
it's always wise to keep
your friends close...
604
00:21:20,221 --> 00:21:21,245
Let's do it.
605
00:21:22,112 --> 00:21:23,127
Good call.
606
00:21:24,088 --> 00:21:25,932
...and your enemies closer.
607
00:21:29,939 --> 00:21:34,939
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com