1
00:00:00,901 --> 00:00:04,407
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:04,861 --> 00:00:08,118
When you're in your 20's a visit from
your parents can be so overwhelming...
3
00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:09,735
it could feel like you're drowning.
4
00:00:11,329 --> 00:00:12,584
Did I say "feel like"?
5
00:00:12,795 --> 00:00:14,483
I meant actually drowning.
6
00:00:19,701 --> 00:00:20,889
Sorry.
7
00:00:20,912 --> 00:00:22,671
I thought something touched my leg.
8
00:00:23,915 --> 00:00:25,458
My name is Cooper Barrett.
9
00:00:25,483 --> 00:00:27,475
My friends and I are
here to mess up our lives
10
00:00:27,500 --> 00:00:29,441
so you don't have to.
11
00:00:39,745 --> 00:00:41,735
_
12
00:00:41,768 --> 00:00:43,050
- Yeah.
- Are you sure?
13
00:00:43,988 --> 00:00:45,181
Oh, my God.
14
00:00:45,206 --> 00:00:46,656
I was watching that.
15
00:00:46,925 --> 00:00:48,324
What time is it?
16
00:00:48,349 --> 00:00:49,848
- Noon.
- Damn.
17
00:00:49,884 --> 00:00:51,683
What are we, farmers? Go back to sleep.
18
00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:53,729
I thought we weren't drinking last night.
19
00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:54,565
We weren't,
20
00:00:54,590 --> 00:00:56,288
but then you pointed out
we had all those beers,
21
00:00:56,323 --> 00:00:57,929
and Barry said we should drink them.
22
00:00:57,954 --> 00:00:59,954
- That tracks.
- Guys, my parents are coming in
23
00:00:59,979 --> 00:01:01,852
for their anniversary party
and their flight gets in
24
00:01:01,877 --> 00:01:03,930
in, like, six hours
and they're gonna want
25
00:01:03,955 --> 00:01:05,908
to come by here on their
way to Josh's, so can we
26
00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:08,674
clean this place up so they finally
think I have my act together?
27
00:01:08,699 --> 00:01:11,038
Oh, I don't think that's possible, Coop.
28
00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:13,980
Mom, Dad.
29
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:16,909
Amazing.
30
00:01:17,188 --> 00:01:19,188
_
31
00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:20,712
Sorry about all the mess.
32
00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:22,692
We were celebrating the
launch of the new, uh, Web site
33
00:01:22,717 --> 00:01:23,682
for the-for the company.
34
00:01:23,718 --> 00:01:24,654
- Oh.
- Oh.
35
00:01:24,679 --> 00:01:26,352
- Oh, Neal, show them.
- Yeah.
36
00:01:26,387 --> 00:01:28,420
Pretty excited about
this one. Here we go.
37
00:01:28,456 --> 00:01:31,778
Uh, the name of your
Web site is "MILF Smack"?
38
00:01:31,803 --> 00:01:32,934
Nope, that is not what
39
00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:34,159
it's supposed to be called. I can't...
40
00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:35,427
Probably get more business that way.
41
00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:36,762
N-no, you got to press that...
What are you... Hey!
42
00:01:36,797 --> 00:01:38,697
- How was the flight?
- It was good.
43
00:01:38,733 --> 00:01:40,599
Did Josh not tell you
we were coming early?
44
00:01:40,635 --> 00:01:41,886
I guess he must have forgotten.
45
00:01:41,911 --> 00:01:43,369
Did I? Hmm.
46
00:01:43,404 --> 00:01:44,404
Cooper...
47
00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:48,139
- Oh, I got a situation here.
- Oh, what a shame.
48
00:01:48,164 --> 00:01:49,408
- I got it. Yeah.
- That's gonna...
49
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:51,343
- Sorry, Dad.
- That's, uh...
50
00:01:51,379 --> 00:01:53,679
Now, Cooper, when I was your age
51
00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:56,794
I had this friend,
Lefty, and he was always
52
00:01:56,819 --> 00:01:57,848
inviting me out for a cold one,
53
00:01:57,873 --> 00:01:59,076
but I was too busy
54
00:01:59,101 --> 00:02:01,537
raising a family and
defending our great country.
55
00:02:01,562 --> 00:02:03,873
Then one day, I stopped by his apartment
56
00:02:03,898 --> 00:02:06,625
and his roommates answered...
he didn't have a wife...
57
00:02:06,661 --> 00:02:08,560
and they told me that ol' Lefty
58
00:02:08,596 --> 00:02:09,795
drank himself to death.
59
00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:12,230
Great story, Dad.
60
00:02:12,255 --> 00:02:13,269
- Great story.
- Yeah, Josh...
61
00:02:13,294 --> 00:02:14,433
can I talk to you for a sec?
62
00:02:14,458 --> 00:02:16,291
Yeah.
63
00:02:16,998 --> 00:02:18,404
Admit it,
64
00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:19,879
you intentionally didn't
tell me they were coming
65
00:02:19,904 --> 00:02:21,099
'cause you wanted me to look bad.
66
00:02:21,124 --> 00:02:21,965
Why would I do that?
67
00:02:21,990 --> 00:02:23,084
I don't know.
68
00:02:23,109 --> 00:02:25,311
W-why would you call Mom and
Dad when I'm throwing a party
69
00:02:25,346 --> 00:02:26,692
and tell them the house was on fire?
70
00:02:26,717 --> 00:02:27,981
Because the house was on fire.
71
00:02:28,006 --> 00:02:29,817
I had it mostly contained.
72
00:02:29,842 --> 00:02:31,951
Coop, come on, man, I
brought them over here
73
00:02:31,986 --> 00:02:33,352
because I'm trying to keep Mom and Leslie
74
00:02:33,379 --> 00:02:34,395
away from each other.
75
00:02:34,428 --> 00:02:36,507
It's still tense because of the incident.
76
00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:43,028
Get out!
77
00:02:43,053 --> 00:02:44,551
That was seven years ago.
78
00:02:44,587 --> 00:02:46,065
Well, Leslie can't even get into the car
79
00:02:46,100 --> 00:02:47,166
without knocking first.
80
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:51,170
I don't even understand how.
81
00:02:51,205 --> 00:02:53,587
Hey, how are you ladies doing?
82
00:02:53,612 --> 00:02:55,113
I'm Barry Sandel.
83
00:02:55,138 --> 00:02:56,519
This is my boy, Neal.
84
00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:58,496
Who's a bad boy?
85
00:02:58,521 --> 00:02:59,441
Yeah, you are.
86
00:02:59,466 --> 00:03:01,136
What the hell are you doing?
87
00:03:01,422 --> 00:03:03,146
Great, now I don't know
how that's gonna end.
88
00:03:03,170 --> 00:03:03,996
Dude.
89
00:03:04,021 --> 00:03:06,183
How much of this stuff are you
watching a day on your phone?
90
00:03:06,208 --> 00:03:07,511
That genre specifically?
91
00:03:07,536 --> 00:03:09,105
You know you got a problem, right?
92
00:03:09,130 --> 00:03:10,394
- Neal!
- What?
93
00:03:10,419 --> 00:03:13,048
Sorry, I was thinking about
porn again. What were you saying?
94
00:03:13,073 --> 00:03:15,360
Look, I'll tell you what.
For the next 48 hours,
95
00:03:15,385 --> 00:03:16,540
you can not watch any porn.
96
00:03:16,565 --> 00:03:17,770
If I catch you watching some porn,
97
00:03:17,805 --> 00:03:19,004
I'm gonna hit you upside your head
98
00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:20,670
with a pillowcase full of oranges.
99
00:03:22,209 --> 00:03:23,842
I'm in.
100
00:03:23,978 --> 00:03:25,310
I know what it's like
101
00:03:25,346 --> 00:03:26,712
to have a father who's
hard to live up to.
102
00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:29,325
My dad is one of the top physical
therapists in the country.
103
00:03:29,350 --> 00:03:32,255
My dad was a fighter pilot,
who flew Air Force One
104
00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:34,094
and ended up saving the President's life.
105
00:03:34,121 --> 00:03:35,087
Twice.
106
00:03:35,122 --> 00:03:36,488
My dad won an award
107
00:03:36,523 --> 00:03:38,657
for shoulder impingement relief, so...
108
00:03:39,683 --> 00:03:40,879
Sometimes I feel like my dad
109
00:03:40,904 --> 00:03:42,761
wishes I was exactly
like my older brother,
110
00:03:42,796 --> 00:03:44,696
but that might just be
because we have the same name,
111
00:03:44,732 --> 00:03:46,732
and they only decided to have another kid
112
00:03:46,767 --> 00:03:48,734
after first Neal died in a car accident.
113
00:03:49,205 --> 00:03:51,614
Look, there are a million reasons
114
00:03:51,639 --> 00:03:52,871
that your dad should be proud of you.
115
00:03:52,907 --> 00:03:53,752
You have great friends,
116
00:03:53,777 --> 00:03:55,874
and you started your
dream company from scratch
117
00:03:55,910 --> 00:03:57,209
that actually has potential.
118
00:03:57,234 --> 00:03:58,932
And you coined the term, "To the max."
119
00:03:58,957 --> 00:04:01,113
Yeah, I definitely
didn't coin that, Neal.
120
00:04:01,148 --> 00:04:03,615
Huh, well, maybe your dad is right.
121
00:04:03,651 --> 00:04:06,385
Thing is, my dad's really old school.
122
00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:09,221
He just measures success
in-in-in concrete terms,
123
00:04:09,256 --> 00:04:12,024
which is why Josh, with
his career and his family,
124
00:04:12,059 --> 00:04:13,062
is totally winning.
125
00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:14,459
Okay, where's your dad right now?
126
00:04:14,495 --> 00:04:16,595
Uh, at Josh's house with food poisoning.
127
00:04:16,630 --> 00:04:18,397
The rest of the family went up
to Santa Barbara for the night.
128
00:04:18,432 --> 00:04:20,232
Okay, here's what you do: you go over,
129
00:04:20,259 --> 00:04:21,299
and you sit him down,
130
00:04:21,332 --> 00:04:23,468
and explain exactly
what it is you're doing.
131
00:04:23,504 --> 00:04:25,304
There's no way he's
not gonna be impressed.
132
00:04:25,339 --> 00:04:27,139
W-what about, "Raise the roof?"
133
00:04:27,174 --> 00:04:29,107
It's not mine either, man.
134
00:04:29,143 --> 00:04:31,798
Well, another crappy day for second Neal.
135
00:04:31,823 --> 00:04:33,946
Okay, it's bad enough
you drove me over here.
136
00:04:33,981 --> 00:04:35,714
You don't have to come and
talk to my father with me.
137
00:04:35,749 --> 00:04:37,282
No, I just want to make sure
you're not gonna chicken out.
138
00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:39,918
You really give me no credit, do you?
139
00:04:39,954 --> 00:04:41,162
No.
140
00:04:42,289 --> 00:04:43,814
Do you want to get a froyo?
141
00:04:43,839 --> 00:04:45,138
Cooper...
142
00:04:46,327 --> 00:04:47,559
How am I supposed to impress a guy
143
00:04:47,594 --> 00:04:49,328
who's basically a saint?
144
00:04:50,664 --> 00:04:52,331
Dad?
145
00:04:54,101 --> 00:04:55,467
You're not pizza.
146
00:05:02,353 --> 00:05:04,493
Cooper, I haven't been honest with you.
147
00:05:05,423 --> 00:05:08,500
- Is this a gay thing?
- Whoa, is this a gay thing?
148
00:05:08,525 --> 00:05:10,258
It's not a gay thing. No one's gay.
149
00:05:10,293 --> 00:05:12,994
- I'm gay.
- No way, Jerry, hey.
150
00:05:13,030 --> 00:05:13,939
- Thanks.
- Happy for you.
151
00:05:13,964 --> 00:05:15,630
What is happening? Who are these people?
152
00:05:15,665 --> 00:05:17,822
Uh, these are just some guys I
put together for a poker game.
153
00:05:17,847 --> 00:05:20,035
Since when do you drink or gamble?
154
00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:21,169
Not long.
155
00:05:21,204 --> 00:05:23,705
Eight to ten months...
156
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,273
before your brother was born.
157
00:05:25,318 --> 00:05:28,294
Wait, my whole life I've
been trying to live up
158
00:05:28,319 --> 00:05:29,442
to your perfect example.
159
00:05:29,467 --> 00:05:30,645
How do you think I feel?
160
00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:32,013
I had to sneak around
and tell lies to people
161
00:05:32,049 --> 00:05:33,515
to have any fun whatsoever.
162
00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:35,784
Plus, you almost burned
our house to the ground.
163
00:05:35,819 --> 00:05:37,352
I had it mostly contained!
164
00:05:37,387 --> 00:05:39,387
Okay, look, I was wrong
to keep this from you.
165
00:05:39,423 --> 00:05:41,890
From now on, no more lies.
166
00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:43,291
Okay, so Mom knows about this?
167
00:05:43,326 --> 00:05:44,692
What are you, nuts? She'd kill me.
168
00:05:44,728 --> 00:05:45,996
And don't tell Josh.
169
00:05:46,021 --> 00:05:47,339
He wouldn't understand.
170
00:05:47,364 --> 00:05:48,883
That guy's never partied
a day in his life.
171
00:05:48,908 --> 00:05:50,555
Yeah, right.
172
00:05:51,334 --> 00:05:53,568
I mean, yeah, right.
173
00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,136
This is a lot to process.
174
00:05:55,172 --> 00:05:57,639
I-I don't know what to do.
175
00:05:57,674 --> 00:06:01,342
How about sharing a beer with
your old man for the first time?
176
00:06:03,046 --> 00:06:04,579
All right.
177
00:06:09,019 --> 00:06:11,252
That's my boy.
178
00:06:16,059 --> 00:06:18,893
So, it's third and one,
they're showing blitz,
179
00:06:18,929 --> 00:06:20,911
and suddenly I realize...
180
00:06:21,791 --> 00:06:23,424
I'm into dudes.
181
00:06:26,770 --> 00:06:29,370
Great story, Jerry!
182
00:06:37,881 --> 00:06:39,681
Hey, how was Santa Barbara?
183
00:06:39,716 --> 00:06:40,748
What the hell happened here?
184
00:06:40,784 --> 00:06:42,417
This place is a total disaster.
185
00:06:42,452 --> 00:06:44,486
Yeah, it looks like a giant dump.
186
00:06:46,423 --> 00:06:48,089
I mean, untidy.
187
00:06:48,125 --> 00:06:49,724
Hey.
188
00:06:49,759 --> 00:06:51,359
You're back early.
189
00:06:51,394 --> 00:06:53,261
What is going on?
190
00:06:54,233 --> 00:06:55,620
Well...
191
00:06:58,502 --> 00:07:00,034
I think it's pretty obvious
192
00:07:00,070 --> 00:07:01,936
what's going on here...
193
00:07:01,972 --> 00:07:04,262
while Dad was, you know,
getting over his sickness
194
00:07:04,287 --> 00:07:05,940
in-in-in the guesthouse,
195
00:07:05,976 --> 00:07:08,309
I saw an opportunity
to throw myself a rager.
196
00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:09,894
- This is not your house.
- So untidy.
197
00:07:09,919 --> 00:07:11,347
- It's exactly what it looks like happened.
- Untidy.
198
00:07:11,372 --> 00:07:12,432
The worst uncle ever.
199
00:07:14,918 --> 00:07:18,253
We are really disappointed
in you, Cooper.
200
00:07:25,162 --> 00:07:26,728
For the next 48 hours,
201
00:07:26,763 --> 00:07:29,164
you cannot watch any porn.
202
00:07:43,466 --> 00:07:45,066
Barry!
203
00:07:47,538 --> 00:07:48,891
Is there a problem, ma'am?
204
00:07:48,916 --> 00:07:52,174
My car broke down
and I could sure use a ride.
205
00:07:52,824 --> 00:07:54,223
You're lucky these are mandarins.
206
00:07:54,407 --> 00:07:56,206
No more porn.
207
00:07:56,493 --> 00:07:59,294
Wow, your dad's
really laying it onto Cooper.
208
00:07:59,329 --> 00:08:01,362
Yeah, I know. Isn't it great?
209
00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:05,099
I love you so much
for taking that bullet.
210
00:08:05,135 --> 00:08:06,367
I love you, too, Dad.
211
00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:08,203
Yeah, you really made me proud today.
212
00:08:08,238 --> 00:08:10,302
Wow, he is really sticking it to him.
213
00:08:10,327 --> 00:08:14,063
You are officially my favorite son.
214
00:08:16,773 --> 00:08:18,206
- Dad...
- Just don't...
215
00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:19,630
they're looking. They're still looking.
216
00:08:19,655 --> 00:08:21,325
Hey, when can we hang out again?
217
00:08:22,886 --> 00:08:25,329
My friends and I are going to a
big blowout party in Venice tonight.
218
00:08:25,354 --> 00:08:28,056
Ah, I'd love to, but I can't.
219
00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:30,892
Leslie's making that
God-awful polenta tonight.
220
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:31,993
You know, if I was gonna miss
221
00:08:32,028 --> 00:08:33,228
two family functions in a row,
222
00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:35,330
I'd have to lay it on pretty thick.
223
00:08:35,365 --> 00:08:36,898
Well, you're in luck, Dad.
224
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:39,500
Laying it on pretty thick is what I do.
225
00:08:39,536 --> 00:08:41,359
I'm getting you out of that dinner.
226
00:08:41,738 --> 00:08:43,204
Hey, Dad, check it out.
227
00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:44,906
I had this scrapbook made of the family.
228
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:46,341
- Oh, yeah?
- Come on.
229
00:08:48,912 --> 00:08:50,345
- Look at this.
- Yeah.
230
00:08:50,380 --> 00:08:51,713
This is all you and me.
231
00:08:51,748 --> 00:08:53,414
Yeah, only the best moments.
232
00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:57,432
Honey, I think that's your phone.
233
00:08:57,457 --> 00:08:59,020
Ah, darn it, I meant
to turn the thing off.
234
00:08:59,055 --> 00:09:00,488
Can you get it for me, honey?
235
00:09:00,523 --> 00:09:03,491
Hi, uh, this is Mark Barrett's phone.
236
00:09:03,526 --> 00:09:05,827
Tell him it's Simion Bradshaw calling.
237
00:09:05,854 --> 00:09:06,886
I think it's a client.
238
00:09:06,930 --> 00:09:09,430
I am not interested. I'm having
a lovely dinner with my family.
239
00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:11,660
You know, if something was gonna
pull me away from this dinner,
240
00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:13,167
it would have to be really important,
241
00:09:13,203 --> 00:09:14,902
like the McKinley project.
242
00:09:14,938 --> 00:09:19,240
I've flown to Los Angeles to
discuss the McKinley project.
243
00:09:23,696 --> 00:09:25,757
Bought it, hook, line and sinker.
244
00:09:25,782 --> 00:09:28,116
Yes!
245
00:09:28,151 --> 00:09:29,250
Mr.B.!
246
00:09:29,286 --> 00:09:30,451
Yes!
247
00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:32,553
Mr. B., Mr. B.!
248
00:09:32,589 --> 00:09:33,855
Cooper.
249
00:09:33,890 --> 00:09:35,570
Man, I feel weird.
250
00:09:35,595 --> 00:09:37,218
My body's all tingly.
251
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,060
That's 'cause you haven't
watched porn all day.
252
00:09:39,095 --> 00:09:41,529
It's your chi, your sexual energy.
253
00:09:41,564 --> 00:09:42,764
I'm gonna talk to these girls.
254
00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:44,265
There you go.
255
00:09:44,301 --> 00:09:46,132
Pardon me...
256
00:09:46,157 --> 00:09:49,195
Can I borrow your phone to watch porn?
257
00:09:49,662 --> 00:09:51,372
- Ew.
- Let's go.
258
00:09:52,742 --> 00:09:54,409
To the McKinley project!
259
00:09:54,444 --> 00:09:57,412
- The McKinley project!
- The project!
260
00:09:58,982 --> 00:09:59,991
More.
261
00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:01,849
- Oh.
- No.
262
00:10:01,985 --> 00:10:04,955
It's so good to see you
bonding with your dad.
263
00:10:04,980 --> 00:10:06,154
I know, right?
264
00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:08,923
It's, like, the first time I don't
feel like I'm in Josh's shadow.
265
00:10:08,958 --> 00:10:10,063
Guys.
266
00:10:10,088 --> 00:10:11,563
What are you doing here?
267
00:10:11,588 --> 00:10:13,328
W-what do you mean? I'm here to party.
268
00:10:13,363 --> 00:10:15,140
Josh, what...
269
00:10:15,165 --> 00:10:16,264
Dad.
270
00:10:16,289 --> 00:10:17,945
Oh, my God, you caught me.
271
00:10:17,970 --> 00:10:20,268
I caught you? I caught you doing what?
272
00:10:20,303 --> 00:10:22,554
Well, I might as well come clean.
273
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:28,576
Dad, I have been pretending to
be this responsible family man,
274
00:10:28,611 --> 00:10:30,011
but the truth is,
275
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:33,276
I spend a lot of time partying
with Cooper and his friends.
276
00:10:33,301 --> 00:10:34,949
- I'm sorry.
- Don't be.
277
00:10:34,984 --> 00:10:36,517
I'm the same way.
278
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:38,501
There wasn't any
business meeting tonight.
279
00:10:38,526 --> 00:10:40,660
- Get out, what are you saying?
- I'm saying,
280
00:10:40,685 --> 00:10:42,806
"Like father, like son."
281
00:10:44,392 --> 00:10:46,594
- Ah.
- Ah, perfect.
282
00:10:46,629 --> 00:10:48,830
How you doing? Attaboy.
283
00:10:54,407 --> 00:10:58,038
Oh, Dad, this sounds incredible.
284
00:10:58,073 --> 00:11:00,958
Yeah. DJ'ing is so much
easier than I thought.
285
00:11:00,983 --> 00:11:02,246
They're not even doing anything.
286
00:11:02,271 --> 00:11:04,465
I mean, t-the music's
playing from someone's phone.
287
00:11:04,490 --> 00:11:06,223
I know, but the vibe is theirs.
288
00:11:06,248 --> 00:11:07,881
It's like they two peas in a pod.
289
00:11:07,916 --> 00:11:09,983
I should be one of those peas.
290
00:11:10,018 --> 00:11:11,372
Cooper, get in there.
291
00:11:11,397 --> 00:11:13,982
You're above this competition
with your brother. Apologize.
292
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,355
Ah, oh, you're right.
293
00:11:15,391 --> 00:11:16,857
I should just be the adult.
294
00:11:16,882 --> 00:11:18,167
Go.
295
00:11:18,427 --> 00:11:20,227
Josh, can I talk to you for a sec?
296
00:11:20,262 --> 00:11:21,461
Yeah, cool.
297
00:11:21,497 --> 00:11:23,530
What is it, Coop?
298
00:11:23,565 --> 00:11:25,532
Dad can only tease the
beat drop for so long.
299
00:11:25,567 --> 00:11:27,901
You know, I just...
I feel like we've been
300
00:11:27,936 --> 00:11:29,302
really competitive about Dad.
301
00:11:29,338 --> 00:11:31,482
I guess, I feel like...
302
00:11:33,145 --> 00:11:34,485
Hey!
303
00:11:34,510 --> 00:11:36,103
Bye.
304
00:11:39,081 --> 00:11:40,109
Wait, I just had a thought.
305
00:11:40,134 --> 00:11:42,916
If Josh is here, that means
Leslie and Mom are alone.
306
00:11:42,951 --> 00:11:44,951
Dear, God.
307
00:11:54,763 --> 00:11:56,296
Look at all this food.
308
00:11:59,134 --> 00:12:00,901
- And it's just the two of us.
- Yeah.
309
00:12:02,506 --> 00:12:05,407
This edamame salad is out of this world.
310
00:12:05,432 --> 00:12:07,233
Is that spice cumin?
311
00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:15,081
- Do you want to get high?
- Yeah.
312
00:12:15,117 --> 00:12:16,917
I'm so glad you came up to me.
313
00:12:16,952 --> 00:12:18,952
It's like you stepped out of my dreams.
314
00:12:18,987 --> 00:12:20,720
It's like you stepped out of my phone.
315
00:12:20,756 --> 00:12:22,556
Oh, Neal.
316
00:12:24,259 --> 00:12:25,926
That'll do, oranges.
317
00:12:25,961 --> 00:12:27,093
That'll do.
318
00:12:29,598 --> 00:12:31,731
I'm telling you, Reginald,
319
00:12:31,767 --> 00:12:34,935
when I get out of here
I'm gonna kill Cooper.
320
00:12:37,072 --> 00:12:39,032
This would be better if
I had some sort of marker.
321
00:12:47,349 --> 00:12:50,217
- Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad.
- Go, go, go, go, go.
322
00:12:50,252 --> 00:12:51,499
Yeah, Dad, Dad...
323
00:12:53,188 --> 00:12:55,088
- Dad, Dad, Dad!
- Go, go, go!
324
00:12:55,123 --> 00:12:56,756
Dad, Dad, Dad!
325
00:12:56,792 --> 00:12:59,159
Do it, Dad.
326
00:12:59,194 --> 00:13:00,961
Yeah, baby!
327
00:13:00,996 --> 00:13:03,330
Wow, I'm drunker than I thought.
328
00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:07,634
Hey, when I get back from the
bathroom, I'm spotting you.
329
00:13:07,669 --> 00:13:09,302
You got it, Dad.
330
00:13:09,338 --> 00:13:11,137
He's the best, right?
331
00:13:11,173 --> 00:13:12,906
Hey, pushing someone in the pool
332
00:13:12,941 --> 00:13:14,574
in the age of cell phones is not funny.
333
00:13:14,610 --> 00:13:16,309
Oh, really, because I thought
it was pretty hilarious.
334
00:13:16,345 --> 00:13:18,478
You would do anything to make
me look bad in front of Dad.
335
00:13:18,514 --> 00:13:21,681
- You make it pretty easy.
- Okay, it is on.
336
00:13:21,717 --> 00:13:23,850
- No, no, no, little brother...
- Yeah.
337
00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:25,151
now it's on.
338
00:13:25,187 --> 00:13:26,353
Do something.
339
00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:27,420
Fight!
340
00:13:27,456 --> 00:13:28,755
That's not what I had in mind.
341
00:13:28,790 --> 00:13:30,361
I am gonna serve you up.
342
00:13:30,386 --> 00:13:31,525
- Yeah?
- Yeah!
343
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,026
I'm gonna embarrass you in
front of all your friends.
344
00:13:33,061 --> 00:13:34,704
- Yeah, yeah?
- Yeah!
345
00:13:34,729 --> 00:13:37,359
Well, Barry's gonna tape this and
send it to all your co-workers.
346
00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:39,408
Oh, yeah, I'll get in close and choppy,
347
00:13:39,433 --> 00:13:40,548
like it's a Hunger Game.
348
00:13:40,573 --> 00:13:42,135
Let's maybe see some actual punching.
349
00:13:42,170 --> 00:13:44,170
Stop directing their fight, bro.
350
00:13:44,206 --> 00:13:46,273
Stop calling me bro, bro.
351
00:13:46,308 --> 00:13:48,531
It's a real fight, thank God!
352
00:13:51,146 --> 00:13:52,612
Screw this, it's ridiculous.
353
00:13:52,648 --> 00:13:54,648
You're ridiculous.
354
00:13:57,819 --> 00:13:58,952
Oh, okay.
355
00:13:58,987 --> 00:14:00,487
I solved it.
356
00:14:00,671 --> 00:14:03,333
You need to walk in on me.
357
00:14:08,089 --> 00:14:10,712
And then I'm all like, I'm
like, I'm like...
358
00:14:10,737 --> 00:14:12,533
Yeah, and I'm all like,
359
00:14:12,558 --> 00:14:14,301
Get out! Get out!
360
00:14:16,204 --> 00:14:19,022
Oh, my God, I'm a genius.
361
00:14:20,692 --> 00:14:22,091
Hey, do you want to write a novel?
362
00:14:22,116 --> 00:14:23,720
Yeah, like right now.
363
00:14:30,173 --> 00:14:31,216
What do you want?
364
00:14:31,241 --> 00:14:32,492
Well, I just want to
tell you a few things.
365
00:14:32,517 --> 00:14:34,487
One, I am still mad at you,
and two, please have Dad
366
00:14:34,523 --> 00:14:35,722
at the anniversary party by 5:00.
367
00:14:35,757 --> 00:14:37,161
What's that supposed
to mean? He's with you.
368
00:14:37,186 --> 00:14:38,163
What do you mean, Dad's with me?
369
00:14:38,188 --> 00:14:39,893
Dad's not with me. I took
the high road last night
370
00:14:39,928 --> 00:14:41,107
and left him at the party with you.
371
00:14:41,132 --> 00:14:43,351
No, I took the high road
and left him with you.
372
00:14:43,392 --> 00:14:45,644
Ha, ha, Cooper, that's not
funny. He is certainly not here.
373
00:14:45,669 --> 00:14:47,369
Oh, my God.
374
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:50,746
- You lost Dad.
- You lost Dad.
375
00:14:57,569 --> 00:14:59,702
Yeah, Mom, Dad's fine. He's with us.
376
00:14:59,741 --> 00:15:00,780
I'm looking at him right now.
377
00:15:00,813 --> 00:15:02,305
He's, uh, he's got gray hair, glasses...
378
00:15:02,340 --> 00:15:03,606
You know what he looks like.
379
00:15:03,641 --> 00:15:05,274
Yeah, we'll have him back
in time for the party.
380
00:15:05,310 --> 00:15:06,658
Guaranteed.
381
00:15:06,683 --> 00:15:07,882
Okay, bye.
382
00:15:07,979 --> 00:15:09,679
- This is all your fault.
- This is your fault.
383
00:15:09,704 --> 00:15:11,186
- You want to go?
- Please.
384
00:15:11,211 --> 00:15:12,859
Fight, fight, fight!
385
00:15:12,884 --> 00:15:13,867
Nobody's fighting.
386
00:15:13,892 --> 00:15:14,992
Your dad's not outside.
387
00:15:15,017 --> 00:15:16,579
He's not in that creepy basement.
388
00:15:16,673 --> 00:15:17,916
It's just boxes.
389
00:15:19,678 --> 00:15:20,911
Excuse me, sir.
390
00:15:20,936 --> 00:15:23,503
- Excuse me, sir.
- Hey, burn out, wake up.
391
00:15:23,532 --> 00:15:25,873
We're looking for our dad.
He's about six foot tall,
392
00:15:25,906 --> 00:15:27,084
salt-of-the-earth good looks,
393
00:15:27,119 --> 00:15:28,885
and by far the oldest
person at this party.
394
00:15:28,921 --> 00:15:31,555
Oh, I wish I could help you,
man, but I don't remember a lot.
395
00:15:31,590 --> 00:15:34,091
Things got pretty hazy
after Juicy J showed up.
396
00:15:34,126 --> 00:15:36,808
Are you saying that
Oscar-winning rapper Juicy J
397
00:15:36,833 --> 00:15:38,028
was here, and I missed it?
398
00:15:38,073 --> 00:15:41,742
Yeah, here, he freestyled for
the whole party. Check it out.
399
00:15:43,969 --> 00:15:45,535
Hey, it's Dad.
400
00:15:45,571 --> 00:15:46,937
♪ They ain't gonna be loyal ♪
401
00:15:46,972 --> 00:15:48,772
♪ Not for anybody ♪
402
00:15:48,807 --> 00:15:50,485
♪ Still I love these bros ♪
403
00:15:50,510 --> 00:15:52,209
Whoa, your dad sucks.
404
00:15:52,244 --> 00:15:53,244
Yeah, that guy...
405
00:15:53,279 --> 00:15:54,625
he left with Juicy.
406
00:15:54,977 --> 00:15:59,549
All right, so I guess we
need to talk to Juicy J.
407
00:15:59,585 --> 00:16:00,893
How do we find where he lives?
408
00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:01,752
You guys...
409
00:16:01,797 --> 00:16:02,785
I'm a property lawyer.
410
00:16:02,810 --> 00:16:04,677
I think I could pull a simple address.
411
00:16:08,371 --> 00:16:10,060
This should be it.
412
00:16:10,095 --> 00:16:11,595
After this, should we go
to Bette Midler's house?
413
00:16:11,630 --> 00:16:13,430
Uh, duh.
414
00:16:13,475 --> 00:16:14,875
So, just turn it.
415
00:16:14,900 --> 00:16:16,972
You know, I still haven't
heard anything about Mark,
416
00:16:16,997 --> 00:16:18,302
and I'm starting to get a little nervous.
417
00:16:18,337 --> 00:16:19,736
Okay.
418
00:16:19,772 --> 00:16:21,605
I have a mild sativa in there
419
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:22,874
that'll calm you down...
420
00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:24,941
and maybe inspire you to pick up guitar.
421
00:16:24,969 --> 00:16:26,679
You know, by the way,
422
00:16:26,712 --> 00:16:29,313
I reread the fantasy novel
we outlined last night.
423
00:16:29,348 --> 00:16:31,048
- Oh.
- Let me tell you, even in the cold,
424
00:16:31,083 --> 00:16:33,987
hard light of day,
this thing is fantastic.
425
00:16:34,012 --> 00:16:35,012
Okay.
426
00:16:35,143 --> 00:16:36,286
"A Hero's Lament,
427
00:16:36,322 --> 00:16:37,888
by Cindy and Leslie Barrett."
428
00:16:37,923 --> 00:16:38,889
Yay!
429
00:16:38,924 --> 00:16:40,324
"We open on a bog in a land
430
00:16:40,370 --> 00:16:42,970
where magic decides the fates of men."
431
00:16:42,995 --> 00:16:44,225
- Gosh, that's good.
- It's good.
432
00:16:44,250 --> 00:16:45,662
- That is, right?
- That's really...
433
00:16:45,698 --> 00:16:48,231
God, there's so much sex in this.
434
00:16:48,267 --> 00:16:51,668
Now, Kelly, be cool, be cool.
435
00:16:51,704 --> 00:16:53,730
Juicy J is not gonna
think you're awesome,
436
00:16:53,755 --> 00:16:55,272
if you're not cool.
437
00:16:55,307 --> 00:16:57,207
- You good?
- Yeah.
438
00:17:04,293 --> 00:17:06,424
Yo, tight crib, playa. Tight crib.
439
00:17:06,449 --> 00:17:08,283
Always good to see a
brother on top, you know.
440
00:17:08,308 --> 00:17:10,399
Yo, check it, I'm
Kelly, this is my squad.
441
00:17:10,424 --> 00:17:12,489
- Kelly, take a walk.
- Yeah, I'm already gone.
442
00:17:12,524 --> 00:17:14,291
Sorry to bother you, Mr. J,
443
00:17:14,326 --> 00:17:16,093
it's just, uh, o-our dad is missing
444
00:17:16,128 --> 00:17:17,467
and we have reason to believe
445
00:17:17,492 --> 00:17:19,218
he may have been with
you last night, uh...
446
00:17:19,243 --> 00:17:21,279
You don't know a Mark Barrett, do you?
447
00:17:21,304 --> 00:17:23,800
M-Bone? The Aviator?
448
00:17:23,836 --> 00:17:25,335
Hell yeah, I know that fool.
449
00:17:26,338 --> 00:17:28,782
"The Aviator" is trending on Twitter.
450
00:17:28,807 --> 00:17:31,641
Yeah, so, w-where is this Aviator now?
451
00:17:31,677 --> 00:17:32,677
Man, that guy's crazy.
452
00:17:32,711 --> 00:17:35,345
He wanted to party all night,
but I had to be up early.
453
00:17:35,370 --> 00:17:36,513
You know, the farmers market,
454
00:17:36,548 --> 00:17:37,714
they run out of strawberries around 8:00.
455
00:17:37,750 --> 00:17:39,191
Oh, my God, my-my wife and I
456
00:17:39,216 --> 00:17:41,283
- love the heirloom tomatoes.
- Yeah!
457
00:17:41,308 --> 00:17:42,775
Yeah, they're so good,
you know what I'm saying?
458
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:43,720
Oh, shi...
459
00:17:43,756 --> 00:17:45,122
- Josh, could we just, please.
- You know what it is.
460
00:17:45,157 --> 00:17:46,523
But look, the last
time I saw The Aviator,
461
00:17:46,558 --> 00:17:48,525
he was asking me for
the keys to my Jet Ski.
462
00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:51,931
Uh... Mr. J, you wouldn't happen to
have a pair of binoculars, would you?
463
00:17:51,956 --> 00:17:53,424
A pair?
464
00:17:55,127 --> 00:17:56,377
- Whoa.
- Wow.
465
00:17:56,402 --> 00:17:58,317
You guys have everything in excess.
466
00:17:58,396 --> 00:18:00,467
- Come on, where is he?
- I'm gonna find him.
467
00:18:00,492 --> 00:18:01,982
These aren't working, no?
468
00:18:02,007 --> 00:18:03,240
How do you focus them?
469
00:18:03,275 --> 00:18:04,975
- I got him! I got him!
- What?
470
00:18:05,010 --> 00:18:05,992
Let me see.
471
00:18:06,017 --> 00:18:07,662
Guys, call the... call the coast guard!
472
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:09,012
- I found him.
- Let me see it.
473
00:18:09,047 --> 00:18:10,147
- Get off.
- Dad!
474
00:18:10,182 --> 00:18:11,381
I'm coming for you!
475
00:18:11,417 --> 00:18:13,083
Get out of my way.
476
00:18:13,118 --> 00:18:15,152
- I'm coming, Dad!
- We're coming for you, Dad!
477
00:18:15,187 --> 00:18:16,777
I'm coming to save you, Papa!
478
00:18:16,802 --> 00:18:18,088
I'm coming, Dad!
479
00:18:18,123 --> 00:18:20,690
Let's go, let's go.
480
00:18:20,726 --> 00:18:22,092
Would you help, please?
481
00:18:22,127 --> 00:18:23,727
You're folding your
jeans... are you serious?
482
00:18:23,762 --> 00:18:25,322
Do you know how much I paid for these?!
483
00:18:26,565 --> 00:18:28,165
I've got you.
484
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:29,924
- I got you, Dad!
- Coming, Dad.
485
00:18:29,949 --> 00:18:31,601
- Hey!
- I'm here to save you!
486
00:18:31,637 --> 00:18:33,603
- Come on, faster.
- I'm trying.
487
00:18:33,639 --> 00:18:36,276
Juicy's Jet Ski is garbage!
488
00:18:36,301 --> 00:18:37,367
- Jump.
- Whoa!
489
00:18:37,392 --> 00:18:38,924
Careful. I've got you. Hang on.
490
00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:40,744
Dad, I have you, hold on.
491
00:18:40,779 --> 00:18:42,779
- Hold on.
- I'm good, I'm holding.
492
00:18:42,815 --> 00:18:44,445
I'm good.
493
00:18:44,470 --> 00:18:46,537
Dad, I have you. I've saved you.
494
00:18:46,562 --> 00:18:47,772
Thanks, babe.
495
00:18:47,797 --> 00:18:49,992
Where's your brother?
496
00:18:51,924 --> 00:18:54,291
♪ I'm looking up ♪
497
00:18:58,163 --> 00:19:00,974
♪ Baby, I've been down... ♪
498
00:19:00,999 --> 00:19:02,399
I don't know what it is,
499
00:19:02,434 --> 00:19:04,664
but I fell for you the minute I saw you.
500
00:19:04,689 --> 00:19:06,203
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
501
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:07,172
There was, like, an energy
502
00:19:07,197 --> 00:19:09,272
- drawing us together, you know?
- Yeah.
503
00:19:09,308 --> 00:19:10,740
Yeah, I felt it, too.
504
00:19:10,776 --> 00:19:12,142
Yeah, you did it.
505
00:19:12,180 --> 00:19:14,609
48 hours, and thanks to me,
you've met this lovely, young...
506
00:19:14,634 --> 00:19:16,913
- Yes! Yes! Yes!
- Bye.
507
00:19:16,949 --> 00:19:17,875
What...
508
00:19:17,900 --> 00:19:20,217
Okay, he clearly has a problem.
509
00:19:20,252 --> 00:19:21,885
I'm Barry.
510
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:23,884
I'm sorry I get so
competitive with you over Dad.
511
00:19:23,919 --> 00:19:25,165
- Ah...
- It's just...
512
00:19:25,190 --> 00:19:27,828
I guess I never totally got over the
fact you're his favorite, you know.
513
00:19:27,853 --> 00:19:29,531
What are you talking about?
514
00:19:29,556 --> 00:19:30,453
No, come on.
515
00:19:30,478 --> 00:19:32,429
You're the lawyer, you got the family.
516
00:19:32,464 --> 00:19:35,047
You've lived up to every
expectation he's ever had.
517
00:19:35,072 --> 00:19:37,350
Coop, are you kidding
me? You're his favorite.
518
00:19:37,375 --> 00:19:39,571
- You're the fun one.
- Oh.
519
00:19:39,596 --> 00:19:42,774
I am sorry for everything
I put you boys through.
520
00:19:42,799 --> 00:19:44,866
Maybe I shouldn't have
kept so many secrets,
521
00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:46,500
but on the other hand,
522
00:19:46,525 --> 00:19:47,972
you've both turned out to be
523
00:19:47,997 --> 00:19:49,978
the most amazing young men.
524
00:19:50,003 --> 00:19:53,283
- Aw, thanks, Dad.
- Who's more amazing?
525
00:19:53,318 --> 00:19:54,680
Come on.
526
00:19:55,477 --> 00:19:57,120
So, what have we learned?
527
00:19:57,155 --> 00:20:00,257
Well, porn can be addictive.
528
00:20:00,292 --> 00:20:02,626
Juicy J loves binoculars.
529
00:20:02,661 --> 00:20:04,528
And if you think you know exactly
530
00:20:04,563 --> 00:20:07,264
how your family sees you, think again,
531
00:20:07,299 --> 00:20:09,866
because the very things they
give you a hard time about
532
00:20:09,902 --> 00:20:12,936
might just bring you closer together.
533
00:20:12,971 --> 00:20:15,166
And now, ladies and gentlemen...
534
00:20:16,159 --> 00:20:17,317
Juicy J.
535
00:20:19,011 --> 00:20:21,586
My boy The Aviator and his wife, Cindy,
536
00:20:21,611 --> 00:20:24,047
are celebrating their
40th wedding anniversary.
537
00:20:24,531 --> 00:20:27,450
♪ These bros ♪
538
00:20:27,486 --> 00:20:29,185
♪ They for everybody ♪
539
00:20:29,221 --> 00:20:30,082
♪ Everybody ♪
540
00:20:30,107 --> 00:20:31,488
♪ Pass them all around ♪
541
00:20:31,523 --> 00:20:33,066
♪ They at every party ♪
542
00:20:33,091 --> 00:20:34,004
♪ Every party ♪
543
00:20:34,029 --> 00:20:35,882
Boy, your father's not looking too well.
544
00:20:36,061 --> 00:20:39,062
- Really?
- For a man who parties as much as he does,
545
00:20:39,097 --> 00:20:41,164
he sure can't hold his liquor.
546
00:20:41,655 --> 00:20:43,966
Wait, you've known about
Dad this whole time?
547
00:20:43,991 --> 00:20:46,136
I'm not stupid.
548
00:20:46,171 --> 00:20:49,072
Just don't tell him, though,
that'll be our little secret.
549
00:20:49,107 --> 00:20:50,840
You want to know another secret?
550
00:20:51,183 --> 00:20:53,683
You have always been my favorite.
551
00:20:56,582 --> 00:20:58,582
Okay, so now I'm going
to smoke some trees
552
00:20:58,617 --> 00:20:59,883
with your sister-in-law.
553
00:20:59,918 --> 00:21:01,353
Where's Leslie?
554
00:21:03,697 --> 00:21:05,291
- Yes! Yes! Yes!
- Neal!
555
00:21:05,316 --> 00:21:06,690
Get out!
556
00:21:06,725 --> 00:21:08,892
Does anybody lock doors around here?
557
00:21:08,927 --> 00:21:13,927
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com