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各位我的支持者們 因你們我才得到了大眾選票的多數票 And to the American people who supported me
我向你們保證 with a majority of the popular vote,
這項絕佳的清潔能源合資企業... I promise you, this amazing clean energy joint venture with...
溫蒂和我在找代孕 You know, Wendy and I have been meeting with surrogates.
她興沖沖地要把我的 She is so excited about
精子塞給另一個女人 太別扭了 my sperm being in another woman. It's weird.
乘著經濟改革的東風 For the winds of economic change...
這是振奮人心的事 they are a blowing.
謝謝 非常感謝 Thank you. Thank you very much.
- 總統女士 - 非常感謝 - Madam President. - Thank you very much.
為什么我的頭發被吹得打圈 Why is my hair all spinning around
這些玩意卻和你一樣 閑著不動? and these things, like you, are doing nothin'?
很顯然風速太快的時候 Apparently they shut the
他們就關掉了風力渦輪 turbines off if the wind speeds are too high.
還來得及把它們改成石油井架嗎? Is it too late to turn them into oil derricks?
女士 壞消息 Ma'am, I just got some really sad news.
- 你媽住院了 - 什么? - Your mother's in the hospital. - What?
- 好像是中風 - 又來? - It looks like a stroke. - Again?
我們可以取消和工程師的見面會 We can eighty-six the meet-and-greet with the engineers.
- 應該沒大問題 - 為什么? - That's no problem. - Why?
因為你得趕到母親的床頭啊 Because you need to rush to your mother's bedside.
- 是啊 - 好吧 那我... - Yeah. - All right. Okay. I'm...
翻譯：露卡 小雨 尼奧 翻譯：璇子 Diva
軸：Jereau buan 壓制：冰島 校對：蘋果酒
副總統 第五季 第四集
希望外婆沒事 I hope Mee-Maw's okay.
死神都敲了她五次門了 She's been at death's door like five times,
- 但她總能恢復元氣 - 確實如此 - but she always bounces back to life. - It's true.
她就和那個誰一樣 She's like that guy... that guy...
- 拉撒路[圣經中被耶穌復活] - 拉斯普金[俄國僧人被暗殺五次才死亡] - Lazarus. - Rasputin.
她上次來白宮的時候看起來特別親切 She seemed sweet when she visited the White House.
是嗎? 我和你們說 Really? Let me tell you something.
我第一次競選州參議員失敗后 After I lost my first election for state senate,
媽媽告訴我"這不是你的錯 Mother says to me, "Well, it's not your fault.
錯的是你露出牙齒的笑容" It's just your toothy smile."
我的天 我愛死你的笑容啦 Oh, my God. I love your smile.
這不是重點 That's not the point.
你不露牙的話更奇怪 Looks weirder if you don't show your teeth.
我只是不敢相信 I just cannot believe that this has happened
在有這么多事情的時候她病了 in the middle of all of this.
我懂的 跟你說 我媽媽得卵巢癌的時候... I know. I know. I'll tell you, when my mom got ovarian cancer...
對了 打給肯特 Oh, call Kent.
內華達州最高法院
選票聽證會
這正是為什么我們要制止 And that is why we have to stop
選舉人票選過程中這種草率的干預 this reckless meddling in the electoral process.
堅守法律底線 Stick to the legal deadline
保證選票的公正性 and certify the count as it stands.
謝謝您 法官大人 Thank you, Your Honors.
庭上 請允許我 May it please the court,
我們可以站在法庭上 there are many things that we could all stand here
無休止地就很多事進行辯論 and debate for hours on end.
天是藍的嗎? 水是濕的嗎? Is the sky blue? Is water wet?
但是拘泥于仲裁期限 But isn't it far worse to adhere to an arbitrary deadline
不是比統計所有有效票要糟得多嗎? rather than counting every valid vote?
上帝啊 選舉人票選抗議? Jesus, an electoral protest?
等一下 那是奧布萊恩那邊的獵頭 選票重計時見過 Wait a second, that's the O'Brien nimrod from the recount table.
假抗議 典型的奧布萊恩式行為 A fake protest. That is classic O'Brien.
真他媽卑鄙 It's such a scumbag move.
這無休無盡的選票重計得結束了 this endless recount's got to go.
是啊 我要去弄點零錢 Yep, I'll raid petty cash.
貞女醫院
馬里蘭州銀春區
夫人 您得看下奧布萊恩這個蠢貨的推文 Ma'am, you have to see this dumb O'Brien tweet.
"又是浪費納稅人錢財的一天 "Another day wasting taxpayer dollars.
梅耶風車項目費錢又沒用” Meyer plus windmills cost money, do nothing."
這得怪你 你說呢? Well, that's on you, isn't it?
風車不轉今天你試試腦子轉起來好嗎? See if you can spin something right today, okay?
- 天哪 - 夫人 艾米打電話來了 - God. - Ma'am, Amy's calling.
艾米 怎么了? Ame, hi. What's going on?
夫人 我感到非常非常抱歉 Ma'am, I'm so, so sorry.
- 怎么? 發生了什么? - 什么? - What? What happened? - What?
你媽媽 我在赫芬頓郵報上看到她住院了 Your mother. I read on HuffPo that she was in the hospital.
艾米 我還以為你說的是選票重計呢 Amy, I thought you were talking about the recount.
再也不要像這樣嚇我了 Don't ever, ever scare me like that again.
- 不好意思 - 不惜一切代價 - I'm sorry. - Just do whatever it takes
把選票算進去懂了嗎? to get these ballots counted, okay?
我媽媽會沒事的 我得掛了 My mother's gonna be fine. I gotta go.
- 我的上帝啊 我們剛... - 好的 - God, we just... - Okay.
每個人都在呢 Oh, wow. Everyone's here.
這是你暫時的移動辦公室 This is your temporary mobile oval.
不好意思 請問這有小水壺或者蒸汽熨斗嗎? I'm sorry, is there a kettle or clothing steamer in here?
- 沒有 - 好吧 今天會是難熬的一天 - No. - Okay, this is gonna be quite the day.
我媽媽在哪兒? So where's my mother?
- 她在大廳右手邊 - 好的 - She's down the hall to the right. - Okay.
- 安德魯也來了 - 什么? - And Andrew's here. - What?
- 真的假的? - 是凱瑟琳要求的 - What? - At Catherine's request.
但我保證了他連坐的地方都沒有 But I made sure he had nowhere to sit.
蘇 你真善良 You are good people, Sue.
安德魯 Andrew.
好啊 你來的挺快 Wow, hi. You got here quick.
凱瑟琳打電話給我的 你在外面? Catherine called me. You were away?
是啊 為國家服務 Yeah, serving the country.
- 對你媽媽的事感到很抱歉 - 謝謝 - I'm sorry about your mother. - Thank you.
這是莫妮卡 Oh, this is Monica.
很高興見到你 總統女士 A pleasure to meet you, Madam President.
我的心與你同在 My thoughts are so with you right now.
非常感謝 Thank you so much.
- 你帶了伴兒來 - 我不認識她 - You brought a date. - I don't know her.
莫妮卡和我在一起呢 她是我生命的一部分 Monica and I are seeing one another. She's part of my life.
她寫家政方面的書籍 She writes books on homemaking.
- 還寫娛樂方面的博客 - 我還真知道她 - Blogs about entertaining. - I do know her.
她還做一些地方晨間節目 She does some of the local morning shows.
- 節假日也會上WBAL臺[NBC旗下] - 我的天哪 - WBAL has her on during the holidays. - Oh, my God.
好啦 親愛的 Okay, sweetie, the president
總統現在一定不想聽我的個人簡歷 does not want to hear my resume right now.
她很聰明啊 你學學 She's a smart one. You can maybe pick up something from her.
- 謝謝 - 不用謝 - Thank you. - You're welcome.
我老婆特別愛你的香料蛋酒 I just want to say my wife is obsessed with your spiced eggnog.
- 我們一整年都在喝那個 - 做冰淇淋也特好吃 - We drink it year-round. - It makes a really yummy ice cream.
- 真的嘛 - 是啊 - Shut up. - Yeah.
- 親愛的 - 媽媽好 - Hi, sweetie. - Hi, Mom.
凱瑟琳 這是... Oh, Catherine, this is...
- 凱瑟琳 - 很感謝您能來 - Hey, Cat. - Thank you so much for coming.
你們倆認識? You two know each other?
我們一起出去過幾次 We've all been hanging out a bunch.
莫莫還給了我這件毛衣 Yeah, Monnie gave me this sweater.
不 我絕對沒給過你那毛衣 No, I definitely didn't give you that sweater.
- 還是那種顏色 - 不 我沒有 - Not that color. - No, I didn't.
不好意思 她說的是我 I'm sorry, I think she's talking about me.
她叫我"莫莫" 聽上去像"媽媽" She calls me "Monnie." Sounds like "Mommy."
好吧 Mm-hmm. Well, okay.
- 我真受不了這音樂了 - 就是啊 - I can't take this music, okay? - Yeah, please.
這競選都結束了 I mean, the campaign's over. I
我不用繼續假裝喜歡鄉村音樂了 don't have to pretend to like country music anymore.
這蒂姆·麥格羅唱的 是外婆最喜歡的歌 This is Tim McGraw. It's Mee-Maw's favorite song.
啥? 不 她最喜歡的 What? No. Mee-Maw's favorite song
只要是內曼·馬庫斯奢侈品專賣店背景音樂就成 is whatever is playing in the background at Neiman Marcus.
能不能麻利地關了? Please turn it off, okay?
媽 你應該和她打聲招呼 Mom, you should say hi to her.
親愛噠 如果我想和一個沒意識的人說話 Honey, if I wanted to talk to an unconscious person,
我就去上查理·羅斯的節目了[美國主播 脫口秀主持人] I'd book myself on Charlie Rose.
她指甲怎么了? What happened to her nails?
像她用手挖過土豆一樣 Looks like she's been diggin' for potatoes or something.
你現在怎么竟然還在操心她的指甲? Why are you even worried about her hands right now?
這壓根不重要 That is so not important.
- 凱瑟琳 奶奶最愛她指甲了 - 對呀 - Catherine, Mother loves her hands. - Yeah.
她給我洗澡的時候都戴著洗碗的手套 She always wore dishwashing gloves when she gave me my bath.
這好像是我不洗碗的原因 Which is why I don't do dishes.
我剛意識到 I just now realized that.
你好 總統女士 Hello, Madam President.
我是米爾普里醫生 I'm Dr. Mirpuri.
- 米爾... - 米爾普里 - Dr. Mir - Mirpuri.
"米爾 普里." 她現在情況如何? "Mir-piri." Okay. How is she doing?
情況相當不妙 I'm afraid it's quite dire.
大腦功能全部中斷 All brain function has ceased.
所以是她醒不過來的意思? So she's not gonna bounce back?
她恐怕得靠維持機維持生命了 I'm afraid she'll need to stay on life support
直至大限之日 until she expires.
你還想幫她修修指甲嗎? Did you still want to do her nails?
- 當然 - 好? - Oh, yes, I do. - Okay.
醫院餐廳 一樓
不 我們不用那女人 No, we're not hiring that woman.
她嘴上只是感冒瘡啊 親愛的 It was just a cold sore, honey.
我可不想花四萬刀換個有皰疹的寶寶[一般為性病] I don't want to pay 40 grand for a herpes baby.
- 你好你是黛博拉莉? - 對 你好 - Oh, hey, Debralee? - Yes, hi.
邁克 對 很高興認識你 Mike, yes. Nice to meet you.
- 溫蒂 - 黛博拉莉 你好 溫蒂 也很高興認識你 - Wendy. - Debralee. Hi, Wendy. So nice to meet you.
- 來點什么嗎? - 不用 謝謝 - You want anything? - I'm good. Thank you, though.
來這路上我喝了點康普茶 I just had a kombucha on my way over.
- 那我就直奔話題了 - 那太棒了 - Okay, so I'll just dive on in... - That'd be great.
給你們交代一下我的背景 and give you guys a little background on me.
你們已經知道成功代孕了三個寶寶 You already know I've carried three babies to term.
我吃用全部是有機的 每天鍛煉 Keep everything organic. I exercise every day.
我從不吸煙喝酒 I don't drink or smoke and I never have.
那太棒了 That's amazing.
你正是我們要找的那個人 I mean, that's exactly what we're looking for.
贊美耶穌 Praise Jesus.
你們都是基督徒嗎? Are y'all Christians?
對 對 Yes. Mm-hmm, yes.
很多人都覺得我是猶太人 但 不 I mean, a lot of people think that I'm Jewish, but that-- no.
你們都去哪些教堂? What church y'all go to?
- 圣女... - 圣潔的子宮... - Our Lady... - Of the Holy Womb...
- ...圣潔的子宮 - ...耶穌的子宮 - ...of the Holy Womb. - ...Womb of Jesus.
就一個小教會 但是挺激進的 It's a small congregation, but it's fierce.
很神圣 It's holy.
艾米麗正在修她的指甲 Okay, Emily's working on her nails now.
- 好 - 打擾一下 總統女士 - Good. - Excuse me, Madam President.
您母親沒有決定最后要不要放棄搶救 Your mother was a bit vague on the DNR.
- 好 - 所以要您來決定了 - Okay. - So it will come down to you.
- 讓我們期盼奇跡吧 - 別 - Praying for a miracle. - Please don't.
好 Okay.
好 Um, okay.
邁克普里醫生 Well, Dr. McCurry
- 米爾普里 - 對 就這意思 - Mirpuri. - Yes, that's what I said.
具體是什么意思呢 要把她維持生命的插頭拔了? So what does that entail, you know, the pulling of the plug?
其實沒有插頭 There's not really a plug.
只要去除呼吸機管 What we're talking about requires removing the ventilator tube.
然后她的各種器官就會開始衰竭 And then as her organs begin to fail
天 我得坐下緩緩 Okay, I'm gonna have to sit down for just a minute,
如果可以的話 if that's all right.
我們會持續觀察她的生命跡象 We would be tracking her vitals
這沒事 凱瑟琳 別擔心 It's okay, Catherine. It's okay.
啊 這就有點大聲了 親 Oh, wow, that is loud, honey.
那也忒大聲了 That's loud.
這"斯蒂芬·霍金"也不舒服了 我還是... Oh, "Stephen Hawking" Here is indisposed, so I'll just...
- 馬喬里 你能幫我處理好這檔子破事嗎? - 好的 女士 - Marjorie, can you help me with this? - Yes, ma'am.
我僅想向您保證 總統女士 I just want to assure you, Madam President,
我們將竭盡所能以保證... we would do everything in our power to ensure
等等 這突然有急事 肯特! Yeah, just a sec. Something's pressing here. Kent!
- 不好意思 不是有意打擾 - 不不不 - I'm sorry, didn't mean to intrude. - No, no, no.
我故意選擇了一條別人聽不見的地方 I chose a parabolic path deliberately out of earshot.
沒事 It's fine.
怎么了? What's up?
我就是想 I just needed to get a
從外面那個印度死神那里緩緩 break from the Hindu Grim Reaper out there.
我不知道這能不能提供些安慰 I don't know if this provides any solace,
但自從您母親病危的消息傳出 but ever since your mother's health setback was announced,
民眾一直表現出對您的支持... there has been an outpouring of support...
...也提升了您的受歡迎度 ...that has driven up your favorables.
我是在說要不要拔出她的插頭 I'm talking about pulling the plug on my mother here.
就0.5%的民調怎么能 How is half a percentage point in the polls
讓糟糕的情況好轉一點? supposed to sweeten that shit biscuit?
- 上升的可是雙位數 - 講真? - More like double digits. - Really?
但我就好奇想問問啊 But just out of curiosity,
如果我要 你懂 if I were to, you know...
民調上升會停止嗎? uh, would that end?
可能會出現一個短暫的 There is a possibility of a shorter-lived,
更大幅度的上漲 but numerically greater outpouring
可以叫"死亡跳躍" if you will, a "Death bump."
- 講真? -真 - Really? - Really.
真是瘋狂而沉重啊 Well, that is some wild and heavy stuff.
確實 Indeed.
我得好好檢索我的靈魂了 Yeah. I got some real soul-searching to do.
我已經在華盛頓待了很長時間了 Now, I have been in Washington a long time
我以為我什么都見過了 and I thought I had seen everything,
但是奧布萊恩參議員表現出來的泠漠 but the insensitivity shown by Senator O'Brien
很明顯說明 clearly demonstrates that this
這個男人并不擁有判斷力與尊嚴... man does not possess the judgment and dignity...
真理啊 True statesman right there.
好的吧 我現在需要一個安靜的地方來思考 Okay, so now what I need is a quiet place to think
這地方不能有邁克那張蠢臉 that doesn't have Mike's stupid face in it.
我轉身 女士 I can turn around, ma'am.
四樓有個小教堂 There's a chapel on the fourth floor.
可以訂給您使用 We can make sure it's cleared out for you.
好 棒 Okay, yeah.
- 女士? - 怎么? - Ma'am? - What?
我們所愛的永不逝去 Those we have loved cannot be lost
因為他們已經與我們融為一體 because they are always a part of us.
謝謝啊 本 順帶感謝寫那句話的人 Thank you, Ben, and whoever wrote those words.
- 看我發現了什么 - 晚了 - Look what I found. - Too late.
- 當然 - 我記得這句話 - Of course. - I recognize those words.
我的貓去世時 They were in the card your
你妻子送我的卡片上有 wife sent me when my cat Fibonacci passed.
很安慰 I found them soothing.
這沒完的重新計票必須結束 This endless recount's got to go.
- 好口號啊 - 朗朗上口 - God, that's a great chant. - Just catchy.
天吶 把證件收起來 Jesus, lose the fucking badge, man.
天吶 讓我看看成品 Jesus Christ. All right, show me the art.
我們有"選舉"頭頭"票" We got "Count Totes the Votes."
這是什么?什么是"頭頭"? What is that? What's "Totes"?
"頭頭" 就像是 統計所有的票 Totes, like all. Count all the votes.
你們只有一件工作 就是把人群聚起來 You guys have one job to do, that is to rally the crowd
帶著支持總統的標語 with your pro-POTUS signs
讓你們不上鏡的臉上電視 and get your camera-unfriendly faces on TV.
- 沒錯 - 你不能讓喬納·瑞安就這樣出現在電視上 - Yes. - You can't put a Jonah Ryan on TV like that.
18到34歲的女性都會被嚴重干擾的 18 to 34-year-old women are gonna be distracted by that.
18到34歲的女性如果看到你出現在電視里 The only thing that women 18-34 are gonna do
唯一會做的就是申請一份限制令 when they see you on camera is file a restraining order.
所以制造點動靜吧 笨蛋們 So make some fuckin' noise, dummies.
你他媽的笑什么? What the fuck are you smiling at?
我只是很高興在這里 I'm just happy to be here.
不可置信 Unbelievable.
我們想要什么? 計票 What do we want? To get the votes counted.
什么時候要? 希望在截止之前 When do we want it? Hopefully before the deadline.
斯隆家庭追悼廳
- 你祈禱嗎? - 經常 - Do you pray? - A lot.
你祈禱些什么? What do you pray for?
你懂的... You, you know...
你想不想試試? Do you want - you maybe want to try it?
行啊 Sure.
管他的呢? 我們已經在這了 對吧? You know, what the hell? We're here, right?
- 對呀 - 好 - Okay, all right. - Yeah.
好 Okay.
上帝 我... God, I...
我... 我就是... 我很... I... I just... I'm...
"主啊 是我 賽琳娜" "O Lord God, it's me, Selina."
主啊 是我 賽琳娜... O Lord God. It's me, Selina...
請授予我智慧和力量 Grant me wisdom and strength.
讓我們知道您的存在... 我自己來 Give us Your comforting presence... I've got it now.
- 我可以來 - 好的 - I've got it. - Okay, yep.
主啊 請緩解我的母親的痛苦與折磨 Lord God, please ease my mother's pain and suffering.
是的 上帝 是的 上帝 Yes, Lord. Yes, Lord.
緩解她的消逝 緩解所有 Ease her passing. Ease it all.
- 是的 - 緩解降低至... - Yes. - Ease it down the
- 嗯 - 至... - Mmm. - the...
主啊 讓她的女兒 謙虛的仆人 Lord, let her daughter, Thy humble servant,
成為美國第一個女總統吧 be the first woman elected President of the United States.
拜托了主 一切都太沉重了 Please, this is so much to bear.
是真的 主 真的 Oh, it is, Lord. It is.
- 聽見我的禱告 - 聽聽她的禱告 - Hear my prayer. - Hear her prayer.
- 讓我升上去 - 讓她升上去 主 - Lift me up. - Lift her up, Lord.
不 我是說真的把我抬起來 No, I mean actually lift
我的高跟鞋卡在這里了 me up 'cause my heel is stuck in this thing.
好的 Yeah, I got it.
好 告訴你一聲 Um, okay, just so you know,
等那個呼吸機弄走了之后 after the ventilator is removed,
- 可能會引起一些咳嗽 - 哦 - there might be some coughing. - Oh.
就是一種反射反應 并不表示她醒了 It's reflexive. It's not a sign that she's aware
- 或是很痛苦之類的 - 好的 - or suffering in any way. - Okay.
好的 我給你一些時間告別 Okay, why don't I give you a moment to say goodbye?
你是指現在? 什么 Oh, you mean now? What
這就好多了 Well, that's much better.
媽媽... Well, Mother...
我只想讓你... I just want you to...
我們所愛的永不逝去 those you loved cannot be lost
因為他們已經與我們融為一體 because they are always a part of you.
所以... So...
好的 Okay.
- 女士? - 怎么了? - Ma'am? - Yeah?
抱歉 我的事情可以等一會 Sorry, it can wait till later.
- 不用 進來吧 - 你確定? - No, no, come in. - You sure?
對 請進 Yeah, come in.
米爾... 醫生? 你能... 對 Yeah, Doctor Mir... ? Can... yeah.
好的 妮可 你可以開始了 Okay, Nicole, you can go ahead and begin.
女士 我們在這不合適吧 Ma'am, I don't really think we should be here for this.
你們留下 留下 No, no, you've got to stay. You're gonna stay.
好的 她要移開呼吸機了 Okay, she's just gonna remove the ventilator.
好的 Okay.
什么...? What...?
所以按你的經驗講 So in your experience,
這種事情一般要多久? how long does this sort of thing carry on?
- 通常幾分鐘 - 好的 - Usually minutes. - Okay.
- 我見過幾小時的 - 嗯? - I have seen hours. - Huh?
幾天的就很少見了 Days are very rare.
好吧 這可不行 Oh, well, that's not gonna work
因為我的行程安排和生活 because for me with my schedule and life.
天哪 Jesus Christ.
關了 Turn that off.
好的 別... Okay, no...
她已經去了 總統女士 Um, she's gone, Madam President.
- 嗯 好的 - 節哀 - Yeah, okay. - My condolences.
- 我能獨處一會嗎? - 當然了 - Can I just have a moment? - Yes, of course. Absolutely.
你怎么不看看你的手機呢? Well, why don't you check your phones?
聽起來就像你偷了好多振動棒一樣 Sounds like you shoplifted a bunch of vibrators.
內華達州最高法庭 The Nevada State Supreme Court
簽署了一個暫時的認證 issued a temporary stay of certification.
重計還會繼續 The count will continue.
- 我的禱告奏效了 對吧? - 可能 - Oh, my prayer worked, right? - Maybe.
你想要天助 天助真的來了 Wow, you wanted help from above, here it is.
太棒啦 Yeah. It's fantastic.
媽? 發生什么了? 大家都在歡呼什么? Mom? What's going on? What's everyone cheering about?
- 是外婆好起來了嗎? - 凱瑟琳 - Is Mee-Maw better? - Catherine.
我以為你一直在這呢 I thought you were here.
沒有 我出去喝點咖啡 No, I went to get coffee.
我還問你要不要 I asked if you wanted anything.
沒 我沒聽見啊 No, I didn't hear you say that.
她去世了? She's gone?
我不在的時候你拔了插頭? You pulled the plug without me?
那不是個插頭 是個呼吸機管... It wasn't a plug. It was a ventilator tube that they just...
親愛的 Oh, darling.
親愛的 不 不 Oh, honey, no, no, no, no.
外婆不會知道你不在這的 親愛的 Mee-Maw didn't know you weren't here, honey.
她當時都腦死亡了 She's brain dead.
寶寶 她腦死亡了 Baby doll, she was brain dead.
我們有一些好消息 We got good news
關于內華達 about Nevada.
等一下 什么? Wait, what?
內華達有好消息 We got good news from Nevada.
媽? Mom?
- 我就先出去了 - 好的 - I'm gonna step outside. - Okay.
馬里蘭 小樂山
媽媽從來不讓我用好的鋼琴 Mother would never let me use the good piano.
我一直得在那個屎一樣的小房間里上課 I always had to take my lessons on the shitty upright in the den.
你知道嗎? Oh, you know what?
我可以把這故事放悼詞里 That would be a good story for the eulogy.
媽咪 你為什么 Mom, why would you want
要把外婆描繪的這么負面? to paint Mee-Maw in such a negative light?
凱瑟琳 狗日的托馬斯·金凱德[天才畫家 以色調鮮明著稱] Oh, Catherine, Thomas fucking Kinkade
都沒法正面描繪你外婆 couldn't paint Mee-Maw in a positive light.
我的天吶 Oh, my God.
你都沒見過外公 You never knew Daddy.
他超貼心的 他去世你外婆怪我 He was so sweet. Mee-Maw blamed me for his death.
什么? What?
只是你自己這么想吧 I think that's probably your interpretation of it.
凱瑟琳 你根本無法想象 Oh, Catherine, you have no idea
當一個病態的自戀狂 what it was like to be the only daughter
唯一的女兒要忍受些什么 of a pathological narcissist.
這個女人只會挑我的錯 或者無視我 I mean, all this woman did was criticize me or ignore me.
我要去睡了 I'm gonna go to bed.
去吧 晚安 Okay, night.
睡覺別用那些枕頭 The pillows are not for sleeping.
女士 您母親的律師喬治·亨辛格到了 Ma'am, your mother's attorney George Huntzinger is here.
好的 喬治叔叔 Okay. Uncle George.
- 賽琳娜 - 喔! - Selina. - Oh!
或者我該說總統女士? Or should I say Madam President?
我的天吶 Oh, my goodness.
見到你真是太高興了 I'm so happy to see you.
你知道么? 媽媽的律師里面 You know what? You were always my favorite
我最喜歡你了 of all of Mother's lawyers.
- 你太客氣了 - 我認真的 - You're too kind. - No, it's true.
我應該把媽媽避暑別墅的鑰匙 So we need to get you the keys
給你帶給評估人對吧 to Mother's summer house for the appraisers.
就在這邊吧? 好的 Right over here? Yeah.
她可是個好人啊 She was the most darling woman.
是啊 某種意義上還真是的 Yes, she certainly was in a sense, yeah.
- 給您鑰匙 先生 - 這就行了 - Here's the key, sir. - There we go.
女士 我們必須盡快繼續計劃葬禮了 Ma'am, we really need to return to funeral planning.
- 好的 - 外面人太多了 - Yes. - So many people outside.
恐怕我得開車壓過他們才能進來了 I feared I might have to start driving over them to get in here.
是么? 是抗議者么? Really? Protesters?
這個國家連一點禮儀都沒有了 This country's just lost its sense of decency.
- 都是些禽獸 - 不不 天吶 不是的 - Well, they're animals. - No, no. Heavens, no.
- 他們都是祈福的人 - 真的么? - They're well-wishers. - Really?
是的 Yeah.
人們竟然在替我祈福? People are wishing me well?
當然啦 你在守孝啊 Well, of course they are. You're in mourning.
沒錯 對 Oh, right. Yeah.
太感謝你了 真是太客氣了 Thank you so much. You're too kind.
我十分感激 I appreciate it.
我的神啊 感覺我是個新娘一樣 Oh, my goodness. I feel like a bride.
悲傷的新娘 當然了 今天太不幸了 A sad bride because, of course, this is a day of grief.
她腦袋不清醒已經有一陣了 Her brain was quite damaged for quite a long time.
我也愛你 I love you.
這有太多友好且多樣的面孔了 There are so many friendly and diverse faces here.
我真希望母親還活著 And I wish that Mother were alive
可以親眼看到此情此景 to see this on her property.
內華達選舉委員會
奧布萊恩 O'Brien.
布魯克海默小姐 票數重計的怎么樣了? Ms. Brookheimer, how goes the count?
簡直好極了 Oh, it's great if you want
如果你希望一個傲慢的酒袋子成為我們下個總統的話 a bloated booze bag to be our next president.
- 奧布萊恩 - 奧布萊恩是個酒鬼? - O'Brien. - So O'Brien's a lush?
答案和艾莉諾羅斯福舔陰么是一樣的? Did Eleanor Roosevelt eat pussy?
喔! 我的天啊 Oh! Oh, Jesus.
天啊 抱歉 在白宮我們都是這么說話的 Oh, God, I'm sorry. It's the way we talk in the White House.
我都沒意識到 我不會再這么說了 I'm not even aware I'm doing it anymore.
哇哦 我是說 你看上去這么... Wow. I mean, you seem so...
- 然而... - 嘿 也不一定是真的 - and then... whew. - Hey, it may not even be true.
她到底是舔陰或者 Did she eat pussy or did she
賓尼法尼亞大道一路指交下去 just fingerbang her way down Pennsylvania Avenue?
日了我的嘴 我又這么說了 Fuck my mouth. I'm doing it again.
我了個天啊 哇哦 Jiminy Cricket. Wow.
他媽的 顯然我們虔誠信來生的代孕媽媽 Damn it. Apparently our born-again surrogate
超級反對病危不搶救 所以總統拔了她媽媽的插頭之后 is super against DNR, so when POTUS pulled the plug on MOTUS,
她就改變主意了 she started having second thoughts.
你跟她解釋了 Did you explain to her that
神的存在是沒有科學依據的嗎? there is no scientific evidence of a higher power?
這酸奶放了多久了? How long has this yogurt been in here?
千萬別拘束 邁克 Make yourself at home, Mike.
別吃香蕉就行 那是蠟制的 Don't eat the bananas. They're wax.
- 收到 - 內華達來了壞消息 - Copy that. - Shit news from Nevada.
- 什么? - 新的票數傾向奧布萊恩 - What? - The new votes are tilting heavily toward O'Brien.
顯然他們大都是缺席的軍人選舉人票 Apparently most of them are military absentees.
當然了 達頓堡 這就都說得通了 Of course. Fort Dutton. It all makes sense.
不不不不 一點都說不通 No, no, no. That doesn't make any sense.
內達華是支持我的 我才應該是總統 Nevada is my state. I'm gonna be president.
我要成為史上選舉出的第一位總統女士 I'm gonna be the first elected lady president.
我會有個特別棒的就職典禮 到時候會有比利·喬給我唱歌 I'm gonna have a lovely inauguration. Billy Joel is gonna sing.
所以你們必須馬上停止票數重計 So you guys have to stop the recount.
- 等一下 你說什么? - 停止計票 - I'm sorry, what? - Stop the count.
- 蓋瑞 閉嘴 女士 這不行 - 我不管 - Shut up, Gary. Ma'am, we can't. - I don't care.
火車已經大庭廣眾之下駛離站點 The train has very publically
而且高速運行了 left the station and derailed at high speed.
- 你必須停止計票 - 女士 - You got to stop the count. - Ma'am,
這簡直是個180度大轉彎啊 this would look like a size-14 flip-flop.
- 我們真的不能... - 我他媽不管! - We really can't... - I don't give a fuck!
你要像安妮·弗蘭克的猶太成人禮一樣取消票數重計 You're gonna cancel this recount like Anne Frank's bat mitzvah.
好的 馬上就辦 雖然我覺得已經來不及了 Yeah, I'm on it, though I think the DJ already spent the deposit.
現在就辦... 喂 艾米 是的 I'm on it right... yeah, Amy. Yeah.
我已經受夠失敗了! I'm tired of losing things!
我們提出申請 希望后來找到的票數 We would like to file a motion to exclude
可以全部作廢 all pending ballots from the recount.
柯林斯小姐 你知道你現在說的話 Ms. Collins, you do realize that what you're saying
和昨天完全相反么? is in diametric opposition to the case you presented yesterday?
既然最后期限已過 If the deadline has passed,
為何要允許繼續計票呢? why is the recount allowed to continue?
反對 法官大人 必須繼續計票 Objection, Your Honor. The count must continue.
我們告訴"傻蛋 蠢蛋 奸蛋" Did we tell "Huey, Dewey, and Rapey"
現在的口號是"停止計票"而不是"票數重計"了么? that it's "Stop the Count" Now and not "Count Every Vote"?
該死的 Shit.
票數重計 票數重計 Count every vote. Count every vote.
他不是奧布萊恩那邊的么? Doesn't he work for O'Brien?
當然不是了 天吶 快點喊吧 理查德 No. Jesus. Come on, Richard, no.
- 票數重計! - 喬納! - Count every vote! - Jonah!
- 票數重計! - 理查德! - Count every vote! - Richard!
快別喊了 你倆傻缺! Stop protesting, you idiots!
票數重計! 票數重計! Count every vote! Count every vote!
讓我被暗殺吧 Maybe I'll get assassinated.
馬里蘭 肯伍德
三一圣公教堂
賽琳娜 賽琳娜 賽琳娜 Selina, Selina, Selina.
- 干嘛? - 人生充滿起伏 - What? - Life takes so many turns.
- 是的 - 我希望你明白我的心意 - Yeah. - I just want you to know where I'm coming from.
- 好吧 - 莫妮卡是可愛的 - All right. - Monica, she's sweet,
她很貼心 但她只是暫時的 she's lovely, she's short-term.
她只是目前伴我度過漫漫長夜的人 She's something to get me through the long nights for now.
安德魯 你知道現在是葬禮 對吧? Andrew, you know that we're at a funeral, right?
- 我們不是在地中海俱樂部度假 - 在我心里... - We're not at Club Med. - In here...
從來都是你 it's always been you.
在教堂里 In a church.
- 總統女士 - 湯姆 - Madam President. - Oh, Tom.
- 深表遺憾 請節哀 - 謝謝你 - I'm so sorry for your loss. - Thank you very much.
感謝你能前來 湯姆 我十分感激 Thanks for being here, Tom. I appreciate it.
我看到查理·貝爾德在這 I see that Charlie Baird is here.
是啊 他一大早飛過來的 Yes. Yeah, he flew in this morning.
那么此時此刻的美國經濟靠誰挽救呢? So who's fisting the American economy while he's here?
你是認真的嗎 湯姆? Really, Tom?
抱歉 總統女士 My apologies, Madam President.
- 天啊 - 查理 - God. - Charlie.
- 湯米 - 嗯? - Tommy. - Yeah?
- 夫人 - 請稍等一下 - Ma'am. - Oh, hang on two seconds.
- 好啊 - 好 - Hi. - Hi.
- 你好 蓋瑞 - 好 - Hi, Gary. - Hi.
你前夫 葬禮上也等不及要談生意啊 Wow, your ex, not afraid to mix business with mourning.
對啊 他見到你多久之后就 Oh, yeah. How soon after meeting you
開始推銷他近期的投資計劃了? did he ask you to invest in his latest venture?
- 足足有17秒 我掐了表的 - 真的嗎? - 17 seconds. I timed it. - Really?
一些只賺不虧的 Some can't-lose scheme
巴西第三大連鎖酒店的投資計劃 about the third largest hotel chain in Brazil.
- "只賺不虧" - 只賺不虧啊 - "Can't lose." - Can't lose.
我得去看看我錢包還在不在了 Got to see if I still have my wallet.
- 夫人 恕我打擾一下 - 好的? - Ma'am, sorry to interrupt. - Yeah?
- 悼詞都準備好了 - 好的 - The eulogy is all set. - Okay.
- 附上那個關于彈鋼琴的小故事 - 可謂完美 - And I added the good piano anecdote. - Perfect.
- 這應該不太好吧... - 沒事兒 能成 - I don't know if that was the best... - No, it works.
安德魯 Andrew.
請問我能參加那個巴西投資不? Can anybody get in on this Brazil thing?
我還得花錢買個娃 I got a baby to pay for.
拜托讓我放那首蒂姆·麥格羅的曲子 Please let me play the Tim McGraw song.
行嗎? 都準備好了 Okay? I have it all cued up.
講真 凱瑟琳 Seriously, Catherine,
這是場悼念會 不是納斯卡車賽[一場收視率奇高的美國汽車賽事] this is a funeral, not a NASCAR race.
我沒時間給你倒騰這個 I don't have the time for this right now.
那您什么時候才有時間 媽? 什么時候? When do you have the time, then, Mom? When?
- 小點聲 - 好吧 因為你不喜歡蒂姆·麥格羅 - Shh. - Okay? Because you don't like Tim McGraw,
所以人人就不該喜歡蒂姆·麥格羅了 then nobody is supposed to like Tim McGraw.
凱瑟琳 你再也不準 Catherine, you are forbidden
提"蒂姆·麥格羅"了 from saying the words "Tim McGraw" Ever again.
太不可理喻了 外婆說你說得太對了 Unbelievable. Mee-Maw was so right about you.
- 你說這話什么意思? - 打擾了 女士 - What is that supposed to mean? - Pardon me, ma'am.
- 打擾一下 能耽誤你幾分鐘時間嗎? - 什么? - Pardon me. Could I borrow you for a minute? - What?
我剛剛跟卡塔爾的大使 I've just been kibitzing with the Qatari ambassador,
默罕默德·本·納薩爾·本·哈里發·阿里·賈法爾聊了一下 Mohammed bin Nasser bin Khalifa Al Jaffar.
千萬別讓他簽賓客冊 Please don't have him sign the guest book.
好的 他帶來了一條中國方面的消息 Yeah, he comes bringing a message from China.
為什么中國會在卡塔爾摻一腳? Why would China go through Qatar?
卡塔爾樂意給他們摻和 Qataris love to insert themselves.
- 他們想進行骯臟的PY交易 - 肛交了? - They're wet-fingered. - They're into ass play?
不 他們對感知官場的盛行風氣很有一套 No, they have a gift for sensing prevailing political winds.
他們肯定也喜歡肛交 I'll bet they're into ass play, too.
你帶進來的那些人 Those people that you bring in,
最后會帶來新的人 如此以往 你就會從中得到分紅 as they bring in people, you get a piece of that.
我會得到分紅 I get a piece of that.
源源不絕 In perpetuity.
- 總統女士 - 大使先生 - Madam President. - Mr. Ambassador.
我知道你有則消息要捎給我 So I understand you have a message for me.
- 我要說的內容是嚴格保密的 - 嗯哼 - What I say to you is in the strictest of confidence. - Mm-hmm.
您揚言對我們的中國朋友進行制裁 The sanctions you have threatened against our friends in China
這會給中國泡沫經濟造成巨大的負面影響 may undermine their very fragile economy
特別是在經濟如此不景氣的當下 at a most inopportune moment.
但是 用減輕經濟壓力做交換 But in exchange for easing the economic pressure,
他們愿意開展一次間接談話 they would be open to indirect talks.
都談些什么呢? What is on the table?
噢 幾乎所有 Oh, everything.
從氣候變化到人權主義 From climate change to human rights.
請您與我保持聯系 We shall be in touch.
謝謝您 大使阿里... Thank you, Ambassador Al...
好的 Okay.
神秘啊? Well, that was mysterious, right?
- 女士 他們都在等著你呢 - 嗯? - Ma'am. They're ready for you. - Yeah?
開場吧 Let's get this show on the road.
今天 我們聚集在這里 We are gathered together today
是為了銘記凱瑟琳·卡爾弗特·伊頓的一生 to remember the life of Catherine Calvert Eaton.
這個中國的事應該是個名流千古的機會是吧? This China thing is like legacy material, right?
或者是讓我得諾貝爾和平獎的那種 Nobel Peace Prize material.
什么? What?
我等下再告訴你 I'll tell you after.
現在就告訴我 Tell me now.
凱倫阻止不了計票 Karen couldn't stop the count.
我們正式輸了內華達 We officially lost Nevada,
所以我們必須在國會上贏回來 so we're gonna have to fight it out in Congress.
- 還有... - 還有什么? - And... - And what?
還有啥? What else?
鑒于新的投票數都流向了奧布萊恩 我們... With all the new votes going to O'Brien, we've...
肯特你來說 Kent.
我們也失去了大眾選票 We lost the popular vote.
哦天啊 Oh, God.
我很抱歉 女士 I'm so sorry, ma'am.
節哀 Sorry for your loss.
好吧 Yeah.
行吧 Okay.
汝其勿悲 I grieve with thee.
謝謝你 肯特 Oh, thank you, Kent.
儀式正式開始 下面有請其女 As we begin our service, we will now hear from her daughter,
賽琳娜·梅耶總統上臺講話 President Selina Meyer.
我的母親有一架好鋼琴 My mother had a good piano.
對不起 I'm sorry.
有太多的情感向我涌來 It's just all sort of hitting me right now.
我失去... I have lost...
太多了 so much.
對不起 我做不到 我做不到 I'm sorry. I can't. I can't.
凱瑟琳 放那首蒂姆·麥格羅的什么鬼吧 Catherine, play the Tim McGraw thing.
♪ 她那掛在門后的寬檐帽 ♪ ♪ Her hat is hanging by the door ♪
♪ 是在那年購于墨西哥 ♪ ♪ The one she bought in mexico ♪
♪ 它為她遮風擋雨 ♪ ♪ It blocked the wind, it stopped the rain ♪
這不公平 這就是不公平 Just not fair. This is just not fair.
♪ 她那平安夜買的鞋子 ♪ ♪ The shoes she bought on christmas eve ♪
♪ 她總是在說它們在呼喚她的名字 ♪ ♪ She laughed and said they called her name ♪
♪ 好像它們在門廳等候多時 ♪ ♪ It's like they're waiting in the hall ♪
♪ 等待著她穿戴整齊 ♪ ♪ For her to slip them on ♪
- 非常感人的悼詞 - 謝謝你 喬治 - A very moving eulogy. - Oh, thank you, George.
你感覺好點兒的時候 你 我還有凱瑟琳需要 When you feel up to it, you and Catherine and I should sit down
討論一下房產的事情 看看你能拿到什么 and discuss the estate and how you fit into all of it.
我能拿到什么? How I fit into the estate?
遺產隔代繼承并不少見 It's not uncommon for an inheritance to skip a generation
你母親決定 and your mother decided
把她大部分房產傳給凱瑟琳 to leave the bulk of her estate to Catherine.
大部分? The bulk?
- 一切都會好起來的 - 對 - It'll all be fine. - Yes.
- 精彩的演講 - 謝謝你 - Great speech. - Thank you.
- 喜歡那首歌 - 好吧 - Love that song. - Okay.
我之前說過的話就算了 Sorry about what I said earlier.
我是悲傷過頭了 That was the grief talking.
- 好的 - 凱瑟琳 親愛的...? - All right. - Catherine, honey...?
我需要張面紙 I need a tissue
- 我沒有紙 - 要你何用 - I don’t have a tissue - Well, that’s useless
- 女士? - 怎么? - Ma’am? - Yes?
我恨死我爸爸了 I hated my father
謝謝你了湯姆 Thank you Tom
- 殺向國會? - 殺向國會 - To congress we go? - To congress we go, yeah
祝賀你 Congratulation