1
00:00:03,335 --> 00:00:04,998
Hola, gringas.
2
00:00:04,999 --> 00:00:06,369
The bitch is back.
3
00:00:06,370 --> 00:00:09,048
I have returned from my journey
of self re-discovery
4
00:00:09,049 --> 00:00:10,769
in the Lone Star state.
5
00:00:10,770 --> 00:00:11,978
And you know what?
6
00:00:11,979 --> 00:00:13,148
I think I'm gonna
start saying "y'all."
7
00:00:13,149 --> 00:00:15,018
And I'll definitely be spitting.
8
00:00:15,019 --> 00:00:17,048
- Join the club.
- Oh, before I forget...
9
00:00:17,049 --> 00:00:20,028
I got you guys all
authentically Texas gifts.
10
00:00:21,029 --> 00:00:22,520
- Beverly, neck pillow.
- Ooh.
11
00:00:22,521 --> 00:00:24,178
Oh, my God.
12
00:00:24,179 --> 00:00:27,038
Jeremy, a real Texas treat...
"The Lovely Bones."
13
00:00:27,039 --> 00:00:29,068
I do suspect that you bought
all these gifts
14
00:00:29,069 --> 00:00:30,399
at the Austin airport.
15
00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:31,188
That's not true.
16
00:00:31,189 --> 00:00:33,078
I got some of them
on the airplane.
17
00:00:33,079 --> 00:00:34,978
- For you, my friend.
- "Takeoff" magazine?
18
00:00:34,979 --> 00:00:37,008
Harry Connick Jr.'s New Orleans?
19
00:00:37,009 --> 00:00:38,178
Look at this.
20
00:00:38,179 --> 00:00:40,228
I already did the crossword
puzzle, so don't try to.
21
00:00:40,229 --> 00:00:43,565
- Okay.
- Hey, um, is Jody here?
22
00:00:43,566 --> 00:00:44,792
Courtney made brownies,
everybody!
23
00:00:44,793 --> 00:00:45,624
Oh!
24
00:00:45,625 --> 00:00:47,452
Dig in.
25
00:00:47,453 --> 00:00:49,162
Courtney.
Who Courtney?
26
00:00:49,163 --> 00:00:50,518
Dr. K's new girlfriend.
27
00:00:50,519 --> 00:00:53,332
Finally, a couple
we can all root for.
28
00:00:53,333 --> 00:00:55,547
You have a girlfriend?
29
00:00:55,548 --> 00:00:56,761
I've only been gone a week.
30
00:00:56,762 --> 00:00:58,899
Usually, you move so slow.
31
00:00:58,900 --> 00:01:01,709
When you tell a story, I have to
take, like, five pee breaks.
32
00:01:01,710 --> 00:01:03,732
Oh, my God, Dr. K,
tell how you two met.
33
00:01:03,733 --> 00:01:06,018
I love it, and not just
'cause I'm up for a raise.
34
00:01:06,019 --> 00:01:07,038
I was at the gym.
35
00:01:07,039 --> 00:01:08,579
I had just gotten off
the treadmill,
36
00:01:08,580 --> 00:01:10,795
and she said,
"Are you done using that?"
37
00:01:10,796 --> 00:01:12,351
And I said, "Yes."
38
00:01:12,352 --> 00:01:14,198
Well, let's just say, uh,
she never got on that treadmill.
39
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:16,894
Oh!
40
00:01:16,895 --> 00:01:19,068
Why can't something like
that happen to me at ballet barre?
41
00:01:19,069 --> 00:01:20,422
That's it?
That's the whole story?
42
00:01:20,423 --> 00:01:22,900
It's nice having an adult
relationship for a change.
43
00:01:22,901 --> 00:01:24,405
Why, on Sunday morning,
we actually went out
44
00:01:24,406 --> 00:01:25,998
for a breakfast lunch.
45
00:01:25,999 --> 00:01:27,118
I had eggs, she had a burger.
46
00:01:27,119 --> 00:01:28,988
The same meal...
can you imagine?
47
00:01:28,989 --> 00:01:31,098
Well, you seem really happy.
Good for you.
48
00:01:31,099 --> 00:01:32,330
Thank you, Mindy.
49
00:01:32,331 --> 00:01:33,627
Hey, what's that?
50
00:01:33,628 --> 00:01:35,249
Oh, nothing.
51
00:01:35,250 --> 00:01:37,429
Dr. L, Princeton student
affairs called for you,
52
00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:38,456
they need you to call them back.
53
00:01:38,457 --> 00:01:40,399
Oh, no.
I know what this is about.
54
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:43,038
They figured out that I was
the streaker at reunion.
55
00:01:43,039 --> 00:01:45,008
I'm toast, Tamra.
I'm toast!
56
00:01:47,405 --> 00:01:49,609
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
57
00:01:52,393 --> 00:01:54,946
Guys, I have some huge news.
58
00:01:54,947 --> 00:01:57,068
I just got off the phone
with Princeton University,
59
00:01:57,069 --> 00:01:58,108
my alma mater...
60
00:01:58,109 --> 00:02:00,642
All right, braggy,
we get it, you have a phone.
61
00:02:00,643 --> 00:02:02,612
And they have invited us
to do a "Later, Baby"
62
00:02:02,613 --> 00:02:04,362
presentation on campus.
63
00:02:04,363 --> 00:02:07,008
Oh, our first Ivy.
Hot damn.
64
00:02:07,009 --> 00:02:08,789
They are the perfect demo
for the egg freezing.
65
00:02:08,790 --> 00:02:11,168
Smart, careerist girls
who consider science
66
00:02:11,169 --> 00:02:12,803
their boyfriend.
67
00:02:12,804 --> 00:02:14,018
So this Saturday,
the three of us
68
00:02:14,019 --> 00:02:16,268
are making my triumphant
return to Princeton.
69
00:02:16,269 --> 00:02:19,208
Oh, did you say this Saturday?
70
00:02:19,209 --> 00:02:21,212
If that's the case, I can't go.
71
00:02:21,213 --> 00:02:22,128
What? You can't come?
72
00:02:22,129 --> 00:02:24,058
How many derbies are there,
for God's sake?
73
00:02:24,059 --> 00:02:25,138
No, it's not that.
74
00:02:25,139 --> 00:02:27,108
Courtney made an appointment
with an allergist
75
00:02:27,109 --> 00:02:29,098
in central New York,
and we were gonna
76
00:02:29,099 --> 00:02:30,158
make a weekend of it, you know.
77
00:02:30,159 --> 00:02:31,178
Hey, man, you have to come.
78
00:02:31,179 --> 00:02:33,048
We're gonna get
more patients from this
79
00:02:33,049 --> 00:02:34,978
than that time that we did
that radio jingle.
80
00:02:34,979 --> 00:02:36,394
You know, where you
were playing the frozen egg?
81
00:02:36,395 --> 00:02:38,108
- "I'm chill, baby."
- Ugh.
82
00:02:38,109 --> 00:02:40,208
This is gonna be our first
weekend getaway.
83
00:02:40,209 --> 00:02:43,234
I've been practicing ukulele
for the rowboat ride.
84
00:02:43,235 --> 00:02:45,088
Hey, man, we all have to
break plans sometimes.
85
00:02:45,089 --> 00:02:46,228
You know, when I went
to your school,
86
00:02:46,229 --> 00:02:48,978
it actually sped up the demise
of my relationship
87
00:02:48,979 --> 00:02:50,457
with the father of my son, so...
88
00:02:50,458 --> 00:02:52,108
Exactly, I wouldn't want
something like that
89
00:02:52,109 --> 00:02:53,108
to happen again.
90
00:02:53,109 --> 00:02:54,883
- So, I'm sorry.
- What?
91
00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:56,548
- Are you...?
- Actually, I can't go, either.
92
00:02:56,549 --> 00:02:57,957
Because I'm gonna meet
my biological father...
93
00:02:57,958 --> 00:02:59,268
You have to come.
94
00:02:59,269 --> 00:03:01,028
I'm in.
95
00:03:01,029 --> 00:03:02,978
I cannot believe Jody.
96
00:03:02,979 --> 00:03:04,455
Just because you get
a girlfriend,
97
00:03:04,456 --> 00:03:06,078
doesn't mean that you
completely bail on all your
98
00:03:06,079 --> 00:03:07,538
professional responsibilities.
99
00:03:07,539 --> 00:03:08,813
No, you don't.
100
00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:11,048
You know, when I dated Tamra,
I didn't skip out on work.
101
00:03:11,049 --> 00:03:12,048
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
102
00:03:12,049 --> 00:03:13,188
We would have sex in the office.
103
00:03:13,189 --> 00:03:14,432
The kitchen.
104
00:03:14,433 --> 00:03:16,255
- Your office.
- What?
105
00:03:16,256 --> 00:03:19,063
Uh, Jody's... that's
inappropriate, Jody.
106
00:03:19,064 --> 00:03:21,118
And you know what? I don't even think
Jody knows what he wants.
107
00:03:21,119 --> 00:03:22,869
- Mm-mm.
- Can I tell you a secret?
108
00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:23,657
Yeah.
109
00:03:23,658 --> 00:03:25,218
Before I went to Texas...
110
00:03:25,219 --> 00:03:27,820
Jody and I had a weird
moment on my couch.
111
00:03:27,821 --> 00:03:29,198
- Hmm.
- I think I have to show you.
112
00:03:29,199 --> 00:03:30,448
- Okay.
- Okay, come sit here.
113
00:03:30,449 --> 00:03:32,950
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
114
00:03:32,951 --> 00:03:34,228
All right.
115
00:03:34,229 --> 00:03:38,068
You be me, and I'm Jody.
116
00:03:38,069 --> 00:03:40,218
- I fell asleep.
- Oh.
117
00:03:41,229 --> 00:03:42,258
Exactly.
118
00:03:42,259 --> 00:03:44,268
Then Jody took a blanket
and he laid it on me.
119
00:03:44,269 --> 00:03:46,168
Mm, I don't know
why this is weird.
120
00:03:46,169 --> 00:03:48,409
- This is just, like, nice.
- Okay, but then he did this.
121
00:03:56,225 --> 00:03:57,465
Do you think it meant anything?
122
00:03:58,219 --> 00:04:00,198
I mean, isn't that really
emotional and weird?
123
00:04:00,199 --> 00:04:02,377
Nope.
No, it doesn't mean anything.
124
00:04:02,378 --> 00:04:04,498
I don't know,
it felt kind of romantic.
125
00:04:04,499 --> 00:04:05,483
It's not romantic.
126
00:04:05,484 --> 00:04:06,389
There's nothing
romantic about it.
127
00:04:06,390 --> 00:04:08,673
God, you're such a narcissist.
Don't even worry about it.
128
00:04:08,674 --> 00:04:09,988
Okay, can we just...
129
00:04:09,989 --> 00:04:11,690
No, stop it, don't touch it!
Don't touch it.
130
00:04:11,691 --> 00:04:13,008
- I have to go to the bathroom.
- What?
131
00:04:13,009 --> 00:04:15,008
And I might need
to borrow some pants.
132
00:04:15,009 --> 00:04:16,078
- Can I have my blanket back?
- No!
133
00:04:16,079 --> 00:04:17,098
It's my blanket now.
134
00:04:17,099 --> 00:04:18,258
So you don't think
it meant anything?
135
00:04:18,259 --> 00:04:20,118
Nope!
136
00:04:22,079 --> 00:04:24,573
Mindy, I wanted to talk to you
about this weekend.
137
00:04:24,574 --> 00:04:25,787
Whatever.
138
00:04:25,788 --> 00:04:27,876
Go have a fun bang-cation
with Courtney.
139
00:04:27,877 --> 00:04:29,465
I'm excited to present alone,
because this way,
140
00:04:29,466 --> 00:04:31,218
you can't stop me from
doing my parody song,
141
00:04:31,219 --> 00:04:32,988
"Ain't too Proud to Egg."
142
00:04:32,989 --> 00:04:34,537
Actually, Courtney
and I were discussing it
143
00:04:34,538 --> 00:04:36,264
last night, post-coitally...
144
00:04:36,265 --> 00:04:37,158
Why add that?
145
00:04:37,159 --> 00:04:39,392
And she thinks it would be
best if I go to Princeton.
146
00:04:39,393 --> 00:04:41,048
Oh, my God, that's so great.
147
00:04:41,049 --> 00:04:42,058
Tell Courtney thank you.
148
00:04:42,059 --> 00:04:43,118
Well, tell her yourself.
149
00:04:43,119 --> 00:04:45,018
She's postponed
her allergy appointment
150
00:04:45,019 --> 00:04:46,988
and she's coming with us.
151
00:04:46,989 --> 00:04:48,644
Oh.
She is?
152
00:04:48,645 --> 00:04:50,232
I'm so excited
for you two to meet.
153
00:04:50,233 --> 00:04:52,070
You have so much in common.
You're both women.
154
00:04:52,071 --> 00:04:54,445
You can talk about dresses
and matinee idols
155
00:04:54,446 --> 00:04:55,574
and sewing.
156
00:04:55,575 --> 00:04:57,008
Okay, sure, yeah.
157
00:04:57,009 --> 00:04:58,509
I'm just happy
that you're coming.
158
00:04:58,510 --> 00:04:59,998
I've never been to New Jersey.
159
00:04:59,999 --> 00:05:02,068
It'll bring me one step closer
to visiting all 50 states.
160
00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:03,978
And having sex in all of them.
161
00:05:06,795 --> 00:05:08,078
Let's put on some tunes.
162
00:05:08,079 --> 00:05:09,623
Oh, is there a Weird Al station?
163
00:05:09,624 --> 00:05:10,978
No, no, please don't
touch the radio.
164
00:05:10,979 --> 00:05:12,947
It's a voice-activated,
and it's very nice.
165
00:05:12,948 --> 00:05:14,576
Don't touch anything!
Please.
166
00:05:14,577 --> 00:05:16,148
If you could just hover above
your seat, that would be best.
167
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,088
I put down butcher paper
like you asked me to!
168
00:05:18,089 --> 00:05:19,258
Oh, my God!
169
00:05:19,259 --> 00:05:21,258
- What was that?
- Oh, it's her sneeze.
170
00:05:21,259 --> 00:05:23,038
Isn't it cute?
171
00:05:23,039 --> 00:05:25,258
I'm sorry, I have just
really bad allergies.
172
00:05:25,259 --> 00:05:27,178
Oh, poor baby.
173
00:05:27,179 --> 00:05:28,988
Isn't she brave?
174
00:05:28,989 --> 00:05:31,008
Canceling her allergist
appointment to come with us
175
00:05:31,009 --> 00:05:32,088
for moral support.
176
00:05:32,089 --> 00:05:32,903
Oh, my...!
177
00:05:32,904 --> 00:05:34,128
Hey, are you drunk right now?
178
00:05:34,129 --> 00:05:36,775
That sneeze was like a gunshot,
so I swerved a little bit.
179
00:05:36,776 --> 00:05:38,038
It's not about the sneeze.
180
00:05:38,039 --> 00:05:40,404
- It's about how you handle it.
- You're fine.
181
00:05:40,405 --> 00:05:42,068
Wow, that's quite a sneeze,
Courtney.
182
00:05:42,069 --> 00:05:43,988
And it has to be
that loud, right?
183
00:05:43,989 --> 00:05:45,704
Better out than in, as they say.
184
00:05:45,705 --> 00:05:47,703
Mindy, did you know Courtney
also grew up in Boston?
185
00:05:47,704 --> 00:05:49,098
What?
Oh, my God.
186
00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:52,505
Nomar! Yankees suck!
"Spotlight"!
187
00:05:52,506 --> 00:05:54,496
Racism!
188
00:05:54,497 --> 00:05:55,238
Sorry, I'm sorry.
189
00:05:55,239 --> 00:05:57,008
What part of town are you from?
190
00:05:57,009 --> 00:05:57,845
Uh, Winchendon.
191
00:05:57,846 --> 00:05:59,559
Oh.
192
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,778
Do you not know that part of
town or something, Mindy?
193
00:06:01,779 --> 00:06:04,018
No, Winchendon isn't
exactly Boston.
194
00:06:04,019 --> 00:06:05,118
It's basically in New Hampshire.
195
00:06:05,119 --> 00:06:07,271
Well, Winchendon is
in Massachusetts.
196
00:06:07,272 --> 00:06:08,521
- Technically it is.
- Yeah.
197
00:06:08,522 --> 00:06:10,831
The way that Brad Pitt is
technically an Oscar winner.
198
00:06:10,832 --> 00:06:12,432
- As a producer.
- Mm-mm, doesn't count.
199
00:06:12,433 --> 00:06:13,942
What do you do for a living?
200
00:06:13,943 --> 00:06:15,428
Oh, I'm currently on a lawsuit.
201
00:06:15,429 --> 00:06:16,426
Oh, you're a lawyer?
202
00:06:16,427 --> 00:06:20,098
No, I'm suing my former
employer for sexual harassment.
203
00:06:20,099 --> 00:06:22,612
So waiting for
a settlement is your job?
204
00:06:22,613 --> 00:06:23,978
I would love to
get on that train,
205
00:06:23,979 --> 00:06:26,098
because I am constantly sexually
harassed by my employers,
206
00:06:26,099 --> 00:06:27,659
and I am made to
feel like a piece of...
207
00:06:28,001 --> 00:06:29,258
Oh, God!
208
00:06:29,259 --> 00:06:31,576
Okay, you know what?
Pull over.
209
00:06:31,577 --> 00:06:32,988
I don't want to die, I'm sorry.
I'm not dying in this car.
210
00:06:32,989 --> 00:06:34,078
What? Dying in this car
with me would be better
211
00:06:34,079 --> 00:06:35,879
than your current life.
212
00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:37,998
I never thought I'd say this,
but a woman of Asian heritage
213
00:06:37,999 --> 00:06:39,048
is a bad driver.
214
00:06:39,049 --> 00:06:41,118
I agree with that in theory,
but not me.
215
00:06:41,119 --> 00:06:42,844
- I am the exception.
- Pull over, please.
216
00:06:42,845 --> 00:06:44,350
That's it.
I'm jumping out.
217
00:06:48,029 --> 00:06:51,273
Wow.
Guys, I cannot believe this.
218
00:06:51,274 --> 00:06:52,413
The last time
I was on this stage,
219
00:06:52,414 --> 00:06:54,567
it was senior week,
and a hypnotist made me think
220
00:06:54,568 --> 00:06:56,038
I was a chicken
and I took my clothes off.
221
00:06:56,039 --> 00:06:57,279
He didn't ask me to.
222
00:06:57,280 --> 00:06:58,998
I always knew
I'd end up in the Ivys.
223
00:06:58,999 --> 00:07:00,998
I thought it would be
as some kind of study cadaver,
224
00:07:00,999 --> 00:07:02,008
but this is good, too.
225
00:07:02,009 --> 00:07:03,501
It is excellent work, Mindy.
226
00:07:03,502 --> 00:07:05,038
Now that we've gotten
into Princeton,
227
00:07:05,039 --> 00:07:06,998
all the other Ivys
are gonna be lining up
228
00:07:06,999 --> 00:07:08,228
like city councilmen
at a cathouse.
229
00:07:08,229 --> 00:07:10,258
Hey.
230
00:07:10,259 --> 00:07:12,028
What're you guys doing in here?
231
00:07:12,029 --> 00:07:14,178
Only returning to
my alma mater triumphantly
232
00:07:14,179 --> 00:07:16,088
to change the lives
of young women.
233
00:07:16,089 --> 00:07:18,248
And I saw a sign for auditions
for "Spring Awakening."
234
00:07:18,249 --> 00:07:20,088
- And I might try out.
- That's great.
235
00:07:20,089 --> 00:07:22,714
We have this room today for
a football recruiting session.
236
00:07:22,715 --> 00:07:25,018
- Uh, football recruiting?
- Huh?
237
00:07:25,019 --> 00:07:27,088
I didn't know that Princeton
recruited for football.
238
00:07:27,089 --> 00:07:29,018
I thought they just accepted
whatever nerds
239
00:07:29,019 --> 00:07:31,068
wandered onto the field
with their heads in a math book.
240
00:07:31,069 --> 00:07:33,078
- Oh!
- Excuse me!
241
00:07:33,079 --> 00:07:36,028
This is a Division One
football team, little lady.
242
00:07:36,029 --> 00:07:38,198
We only allow athletes that can
run a ten minute mile,
243
00:07:38,199 --> 00:07:40,396
or whose parents
donate a building.
244
00:07:40,397 --> 00:07:43,138
Uh, sir, if I may,
I think I understand.
245
00:07:43,139 --> 00:07:44,694
I, too, am a man of sport.
246
00:07:44,695 --> 00:07:47,178
I was captain of my high school
line dancing team.
247
00:07:47,179 --> 00:07:49,228
But I'm afraid we have
this auditorium reserved today.
248
00:07:49,229 --> 00:07:51,018
Yeah.
249
00:07:51,019 --> 00:07:53,068
But you might want to check
your confirmation email.
250
00:07:53,069 --> 00:07:54,158
Relax, guys, these jockstraps
251
00:07:54,159 --> 00:07:56,158
obviously don't know
how to read a calendar.
252
00:07:56,159 --> 00:07:58,257
So...
oh, there it is.
253
00:07:58,258 --> 00:08:01,108
Richardson Auditorium, May 2.
254
00:08:01,109 --> 00:08:04,068
- 2017.
- Wait, what?
255
00:08:04,069 --> 00:08:06,198
Oh, look at that,
you did reserve this auditorium
256
00:08:06,199 --> 00:08:07,248
for the right day.
257
00:08:07,249 --> 00:08:09,048
Right day next year.
258
00:08:10,149 --> 00:08:11,188
I can't stay here for a year.
259
00:08:11,189 --> 00:08:13,587
I only brought enough clothes
for six months.
260
00:08:13,588 --> 00:08:15,151
Oh, shit.
261
00:08:18,653 --> 00:08:20,238
Guys, I'm really sorry.
262
00:08:20,239 --> 00:08:22,068
I think what happened,
was that I got too excited,
263
00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:22,907
and I forgot to double-check...
264
00:08:22,908 --> 00:08:24,108
No excuses.
265
00:08:24,109 --> 00:08:25,978
Not only is this
very unprofessional,
266
00:08:25,979 --> 00:08:28,018
but I had to cancel
my romantic getaway with Courtney.
267
00:08:28,019 --> 00:08:30,028
We were gonna unwind,
and now I am as wound
268
00:08:30,029 --> 00:08:31,108
- as I have ever been.
- I'm so sorry.
269
00:08:31,109 --> 00:08:33,228
Okay, you're being
very disrespectful of my time.
270
00:08:33,229 --> 00:08:36,038
I could have just stayed home
and do what I do every weekend...
271
00:08:36,039 --> 00:08:38,028
stare at the wall
and wait for Monday.
272
00:08:38,029 --> 00:08:39,499
I'm gonna fix this.
273
00:08:39,500 --> 00:08:41,168
I'm gonna fix this, okay?
274
00:08:41,169 --> 00:08:42,839
Hey.
275
00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:44,345
- Hi, there.
- Yes?
276
00:08:44,346 --> 00:08:46,972
My name is Dr. Mindy Lahiri.
277
00:08:46,973 --> 00:08:48,228
Head Coach Drew Schakowsky.
278
00:08:48,229 --> 00:08:51,138
I am here for a critical
women's health issue.
279
00:08:51,139 --> 00:08:53,198
And I think we can both agree
that's way more important
280
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,178
than a bunch of fat guys
playing grab-ass.
281
00:08:55,179 --> 00:08:57,038
This is
Ivy League football, okay?
282
00:08:57,039 --> 00:08:59,018
If I don't get those players
to sign a commitment
283
00:08:59,019 --> 00:09:01,784
to the team now, I could
lose them to the Quiz Bowl
284
00:09:01,785 --> 00:09:03,128
or Gilbert and Sullivan Society.
285
00:09:03,129 --> 00:09:04,258
Okay, you're a jock.
286
00:09:04,259 --> 00:09:06,998
I know what you want.
287
00:09:06,999 --> 00:09:10,038
I will let you touch them
for five seconds.
288
00:09:10,039 --> 00:09:11,038
- One...
- Wait, I know you.
289
00:09:11,039 --> 00:09:12,058
Two.
Hmm?
290
00:09:12,059 --> 00:09:13,840
Did we go to
school here together?
291
00:09:13,841 --> 00:09:15,924
Oh, that's not possible.
I'm much younger than you.
292
00:09:15,925 --> 00:09:17,782
You used to do work study
at Butler dining hall.
293
00:09:17,783 --> 00:09:19,348
You're the one who used to
eat all the French fries
294
00:09:19,349 --> 00:09:21,541
off of people's plates
before you'd serve them.
295
00:09:21,542 --> 00:09:23,168
Sorry I swiped a couple fries
off of a rich kid's plate.
296
00:09:23,169 --> 00:09:25,208
I was on so much financial aid,
I got paid to get shocked
297
00:09:25,209 --> 00:09:27,018
by the psych department.
298
00:09:27,019 --> 00:09:28,988
- That's why I'm like this!
- Hey, listen, I get it.
299
00:09:28,989 --> 00:09:30,804
I had some crazy
financial aid myself.
300
00:09:30,805 --> 00:09:32,268
I mean, the whole time I was
on the football team,
301
00:09:32,269 --> 00:09:33,978
I had to be the mascot, too.
302
00:09:33,979 --> 00:09:36,028
- You were the tiger?
- Yeah.
303
00:09:36,029 --> 00:09:37,268
I think I dry-humped you
once on a dare.
304
00:09:37,269 --> 00:09:39,098
See? I knew you looked familiar.
305
00:09:39,099 --> 00:09:40,178
Hello?
306
00:09:40,179 --> 00:09:42,008
Are we any closer to
booking a venue,
307
00:09:42,009 --> 00:09:44,089
or are we just gonna stroll down
memory lane all day?
308
00:09:45,049 --> 00:09:46,228
Guys, I am mesmerizing him
309
00:09:46,229 --> 00:09:47,228
with my sexy charm.
310
00:09:47,229 --> 00:09:48,988
Just give me a second, okay?
311
00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:50,118
Okay, well, we're gonna
keep packing.
312
00:09:50,119 --> 00:09:52,128
Shut up!
313
00:09:56,039 --> 00:09:57,188
Sweetie, I'm so sorry.
314
00:09:57,189 --> 00:09:59,058
But if we leave now,
we can still salvage
315
00:09:59,059 --> 00:10:00,108
our romantic weekend.
316
00:10:00,109 --> 00:10:02,138
We'll pretend my apartment's
the B&B.
317
00:10:02,139 --> 00:10:04,178
I'll have some Germans who'll
have breakfast with us.
318
00:10:04,179 --> 00:10:06,148
Okay.
I guess.
319
00:10:06,149 --> 00:10:08,038
Hey, guys.
I am really sorry.
320
00:10:08,039 --> 00:10:10,048
This was the most embarrassing
thing to happen to me
321
00:10:10,049 --> 00:10:11,643
on this campus,
and my underwear fell off
322
00:10:11,644 --> 00:10:12,916
at commencement.
323
00:10:12,917 --> 00:10:14,237
Look, what's done is done.
324
00:10:14,238 --> 00:10:15,838
Let's just...
let's get out of here.
325
00:10:15,839 --> 00:10:17,479
Maybe on the way back,
we can stop on the Pizza Hut
326
00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:18,404
side of the rest stop?
327
00:10:18,405 --> 00:10:19,356
- Doesn't that sound good?
- Mindy.
328
00:10:19,357 --> 00:10:20,895
I know,
let me take care of this.
329
00:10:20,896 --> 00:10:22,644
Okay, yes.
I did it, all right?
330
00:10:22,645 --> 00:10:25,517
I intentionally sat on one of
your footballs and destroyed it.
331
00:10:25,518 --> 00:10:26,515
What? No.
332
00:10:26,516 --> 00:10:28,504
I was just talking
with the guys,
333
00:10:28,505 --> 00:10:30,324
and we decided,
since it's such a nice day out,
334
00:10:30,325 --> 00:10:32,335
we'll just take the recruiting
session out to the stadium.
335
00:10:32,336 --> 00:10:34,536
I thought you needed the auditorium
to show your highlights reel?
336
00:10:34,537 --> 00:10:36,896
Oh, no, no. I mean, it's better
if we don't, anyway.
337
00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:38,293
The only team we beat
was Columbia last year,
338
00:10:38,294 --> 00:10:39,721
and that was only because
half their team
339
00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:41,211
was off for the high holidays.
340
00:10:41,212 --> 00:10:42,128
You're gonna give us
the auditorium
341
00:10:42,129 --> 00:10:43,128
to do our presentation?
342
00:10:43,129 --> 00:10:44,923
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
343
00:10:44,924 --> 00:10:47,068
I'm already back
in road trip mode.
344
00:10:47,069 --> 00:10:49,128
So we should probably just go.
345
00:10:49,129 --> 00:10:50,988
We'll do...
we'll do the presentation.
346
00:10:50,989 --> 00:10:52,264
- Thank you so much!
- Oh, hey.
347
00:10:52,265 --> 00:10:53,559
Well, that's all well and good,
348
00:10:53,560 --> 00:10:55,496
but we still have a problem.
349
00:10:55,497 --> 00:10:57,613
The school still thinks
the event's happening a year from now.
350
00:10:57,614 --> 00:10:58,680
Who's even gonna come?
351
00:10:58,681 --> 00:11:00,238
Well, we'll just
do what he did, right?
352
00:11:00,239 --> 00:11:02,168
We'll recruit people
who seem like they'd be
353
00:11:02,169 --> 00:11:04,008
good candidates
for "Later, Baby."
354
00:11:04,009 --> 00:11:04,985
Oh, sure,
where we gonna find them?
355
00:11:04,986 --> 00:11:07,998
- Yeah.
- We'll get nerds.
356
00:11:07,999 --> 00:11:09,997
I mean, I was a nerd
in college for three years,
357
00:11:09,998 --> 00:11:11,367
till I discovered vodka crayons.
358
00:11:11,368 --> 00:11:12,998
Like crayons you draw with?
359
00:11:12,999 --> 00:11:16,038
Hey, does your ID get you into
every building on this campus?
360
00:11:16,039 --> 00:11:18,028
- Yeah.
- I have an idea.
361
00:11:18,029 --> 00:11:19,258
Give me the fliers.
362
00:11:19,259 --> 00:11:21,018
Thank you.
Come on, let's go.
363
00:11:21,019 --> 00:11:22,108
Set up the presentation!
364
00:11:22,109 --> 00:11:23,978
Text me if you're sure,
'cause I just...
365
00:11:23,979 --> 00:11:25,794
- Set it up!
- I just packed it.
366
00:11:25,795 --> 00:11:27,007
I'm sure!
Unpack it!
367
00:11:27,008 --> 00:11:29,198
Ugh, okay.
368
00:11:29,199 --> 00:11:32,008
Oh, the Lewis Science Library.
369
00:11:32,009 --> 00:11:34,118
Drew, I've got a lot of
happy memories of this place.
370
00:11:34,119 --> 00:11:36,068
Oh, right.
371
00:11:36,069 --> 00:11:38,178
The Loser Science Library.
372
00:11:38,179 --> 00:11:39,895
I've never even been in here.
373
00:11:39,896 --> 00:11:41,519
Ugh, that's right.
You're a jock.
374
00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:43,978
What'd you major in, gym?
375
00:11:43,979 --> 00:11:46,158
French literature.
376
00:11:49,179 --> 00:11:52,158
Oh! Voulez-vous coucher
avec moi ce soir?
377
00:11:52,159 --> 00:11:54,228
Oui!
378
00:11:54,229 --> 00:11:56,613
You have no idea
what you're saying.
379
00:11:56,614 --> 00:11:57,978
No.
None whatsoever.
380
00:11:57,979 --> 00:11:59,988
Ah, here we are.
381
00:11:59,989 --> 00:12:01,618
Oh, Drew, isn't is beautiful?
382
00:12:01,619 --> 00:12:04,343
Nerdius Americanus
in their natural habitat.
383
00:12:04,344 --> 00:12:06,028
So how're you gonna find out
who's interested?
384
00:12:06,029 --> 00:12:07,238
Well, first we'll
start with the Koreans,
385
00:12:07,239 --> 00:12:09,048
whose immigrant parents
will make them wait
386
00:12:09,049 --> 00:12:10,128
until they get
a graduate school degree
387
00:12:10,129 --> 00:12:11,988
before they can
go on a first date.
388
00:12:11,989 --> 00:12:13,248
- Oh, boy.
- Um...
389
00:12:13,249 --> 00:12:17,988
Janet, Eunice, Grace, Priscilla!
390
00:12:17,989 --> 00:12:19,238
- How do you know their names?
- I guessed.
391
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,118
And now, the Indian girls.
392
00:12:21,119 --> 00:12:23,118
They're not gonna finish
their neuro residencies
393
00:12:23,119 --> 00:12:24,228
for another 12 years.
394
00:12:24,229 --> 00:12:27,148
Anila, Dia, Priya!
395
00:12:27,149 --> 00:12:29,110
And finally, the Jewish girls.
396
00:12:29,111 --> 00:12:30,929
They want to marry Jewish guys,
but all the Jewish guys
397
00:12:30,930 --> 00:12:33,138
are dating Asian girls,
and they have to wait.
398
00:12:33,139 --> 00:12:36,158
- Hey, where my Jewesses at?
- No, no, no, no, no.
399
00:12:36,159 --> 00:12:39,878
I am uncomfortable with all
the racial talk at a university.
400
00:12:39,879 --> 00:12:40,628
Okay.
401
00:12:40,629 --> 00:12:43,108
Shira, Rachel, Tamar!
402
00:12:43,109 --> 00:12:44,988
- Shabbat shalom.
- It's not shabbat.
403
00:12:44,989 --> 00:12:46,078
I know what you're thinking:
404
00:12:46,079 --> 00:12:48,793
who is this pedo,
how'd they break into my library,
405
00:12:48,794 --> 00:12:50,299
why are they wasting my time?
406
00:12:50,300 --> 00:12:51,548
I have a Lexus.
407
00:12:51,549 --> 00:12:54,303
It's a lease, but that's
a pretty big deal, okay?
408
00:12:54,304 --> 00:12:56,847
I'm just a really cool,
pretty, sexy,
409
00:12:56,848 --> 00:12:58,675
full-bodied Manhattan doctor
410
00:12:58,676 --> 00:13:01,078
who decided to
have children in her 30s.
411
00:13:01,079 --> 00:13:03,158
Yeah.
Didn't work out with the dad.
412
00:13:03,159 --> 00:13:05,773
But it's for the best.
Do miss the sex, though.
413
00:13:05,774 --> 00:13:09,018
The point is, I am here
to help you take control
414
00:13:09,019 --> 00:13:10,018
of your own fertility.
415
00:13:10,019 --> 00:13:11,158
No, oh...
416
00:13:11,159 --> 00:13:15,178
All this to say, if you give
me a mere hour of your time,
417
00:13:15,179 --> 00:13:18,611
I can teach you the secret of
how you, too, can have it all.
418
00:13:18,612 --> 00:13:22,097
And now, this handsome guy
and I are gonna make it rain...
419
00:13:22,098 --> 00:13:23,594
information.
420
00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:25,008
Fliers for a talk
I'm about to give
421
00:13:25,009 --> 00:13:26,528
in about an hour and a half.
422
00:13:26,529 --> 00:13:28,420
Eat it up, ladies!
423
00:13:28,421 --> 00:13:30,168
Okay, guys,
meet at the front entrance.
424
00:13:30,169 --> 00:13:31,840
We'll lead you over.
425
00:13:31,841 --> 00:13:33,978
And that is how you recruit.
426
00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:36,261
My football players don't even
listen to me like that.
427
00:13:36,262 --> 00:13:37,258
Maybe I should talk to them?
428
00:13:37,259 --> 00:13:39,088
I can come to their locker room.
429
00:13:39,089 --> 00:13:40,198
Or their showers.
430
00:13:40,199 --> 00:13:43,218
- When do they shower?
- No.
431
00:13:43,219 --> 00:13:46,068
I could be on a romantic
getaway in the country.
432
00:13:46,069 --> 00:13:48,088
Making love on the grass
of a battle site
433
00:13:48,089 --> 00:13:49,998
where hundreds of
young men died.
434
00:13:49,999 --> 00:13:52,038
But no, thanks to Mindy,
I'm getting ready
435
00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:54,008
for a presentation
no one knows is happening.
436
00:13:54,009 --> 00:13:56,078
- Ah!
- Stop blaming Dr. L, okay?
437
00:13:56,079 --> 00:13:58,138
You are the one
undermining the practice!
438
00:13:58,139 --> 00:14:00,022
I didn't know microwaving fish
439
00:14:00,023 --> 00:14:01,716
would make the whole
office smell.
440
00:14:01,717 --> 00:14:02,738
I'm talking about the incident
441
00:14:02,739 --> 00:14:04,122
in her apartment
the other night.
442
00:14:04,123 --> 00:14:04,998
What incident?
443
00:14:04,999 --> 00:14:06,178
When you brushed
her hair out of her head
444
00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:08,068
while she was asleep.
445
00:14:08,069 --> 00:14:09,118
Come on, man.
446
00:14:09,119 --> 00:14:11,228
What... uh, what's the big deal?
447
00:14:11,229 --> 00:14:14,357
Uh, there was a little bit of
mayonnaise on her forehead.
448
00:14:15,552 --> 00:14:17,178
Okay, well,
that's very plausible,
449
00:14:17,179 --> 00:14:19,466
but still, she thought
it was romantic, okay?
450
00:14:19,467 --> 00:14:21,258
There was nothing
romantic about it.
451
00:14:21,259 --> 00:14:24,048
All I did was this.
452
00:14:28,314 --> 00:14:31,018
I-I know
that that is not romantic,
453
00:14:31,019 --> 00:14:32,435
but still, you got a girlfriend.
454
00:14:32,436 --> 00:14:35,707
Stop sending Dr. Lahiri
mixed signals.
455
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:36,988
- Right, right.
- And, also, me.
456
00:14:36,989 --> 00:14:38,470
Let's just pretend
that never happened.
457
00:14:38,471 --> 00:14:39,640
Yes, it never happened.
458
00:14:39,641 --> 00:14:41,098
I have to go to the bathroom.
459
00:14:44,159 --> 00:14:45,873
Once you stop
worrying about fertility,
460
00:14:45,874 --> 00:14:48,456
you can start worrying about
what's really important.
461
00:14:48,457 --> 00:14:50,372
Like getting through
a lecture hungover.
462
00:14:50,373 --> 00:14:52,138
I recommend Pedialyte
through a Twizzler.
463
00:14:53,199 --> 00:14:54,978
Ow!
Ow...
464
00:14:54,979 --> 00:14:57,138
- Ow, ow.
- You got to be careful.
465
00:14:57,139 --> 00:14:59,028
I'm part of the presentation.
466
00:14:59,029 --> 00:15:00,158
The first round
of people to sign up
467
00:15:00,159 --> 00:15:02,018
will get a free "Hamilton"...
468
00:15:04,019 --> 00:15:05,258
CDs, not tickets.
469
00:15:05,259 --> 00:15:06,268
What do you think we are?
470
00:15:06,269 --> 00:15:08,128
- We can't afford that.
- Yeah.
471
00:15:08,129 --> 00:15:10,008
Thanks so much
for coming out, you guys.
472
00:15:10,009 --> 00:15:11,038
Yeah!
473
00:15:14,099 --> 00:15:16,978
Oh, man, I used to
love this place.
474
00:15:16,979 --> 00:15:18,978
One time, I tried to
dance on the bar...
475
00:15:18,979 --> 00:15:21,018
But I didn't have the upper body
strength to climb up,
476
00:15:21,019 --> 00:15:22,978
so I danced by the bar.
477
00:15:22,979 --> 00:15:23,978
- And...
- Shut up.
478
00:15:23,979 --> 00:15:25,521
Is that the coach from before?
479
00:15:25,522 --> 00:15:26,978
Oh, my God.
480
00:15:26,979 --> 00:15:29,978
- More like Vince Lomhottie.
- Oh, it is.
481
00:15:29,979 --> 00:15:31,098
- Hey, man.
- Hey!
482
00:15:31,099 --> 00:15:32,248
Hey.
What's going on?
483
00:15:32,249 --> 00:15:33,988
How'd the presentation go?
484
00:15:33,989 --> 00:15:35,078
It went really well.
485
00:15:35,079 --> 00:15:37,088
We signed up 16 new patients,
so it was cool.
486
00:15:37,089 --> 00:15:38,978
Hey, join us.
Sit down.
487
00:15:38,979 --> 00:15:40,998
Oh, five people in a booth,
I don't know if that's safe.
488
00:15:40,999 --> 00:15:42,058
- Yeah.
- Move over.
489
00:15:42,059 --> 00:15:43,058
- Come on, move over.
- There's plenty of room.
490
00:15:43,059 --> 00:15:44,198
I can go one butt cheek
for this guy.
491
00:15:44,199 --> 00:15:46,119
- All right, all right.
- Move over, you animals.
492
00:15:47,059 --> 00:15:48,678
- It's comfortable.
- Aw, thanks.
493
00:15:48,679 --> 00:15:50,058
So how was your day?
494
00:15:50,059 --> 00:15:51,421
My recruitment went well.
495
00:15:51,422 --> 00:15:54,054
I found a fullback who only
has light asthma, so...
496
00:15:54,055 --> 00:15:55,068
Well, if you're
okay with asthma,
497
00:15:55,069 --> 00:15:56,234
I can be your Tom Brady.
498
00:15:56,235 --> 00:15:57,354
Oh I don't know about that.
499
00:15:57,355 --> 00:15:59,068
I think you might be
a distraction to the team.
500
00:15:59,069 --> 00:16:01,988
Or if you're looking for
someone with sleep apnea...
501
00:16:01,989 --> 00:16:03,238
Stop it, stop it.
502
00:16:03,239 --> 00:16:05,285
No, I sleep like an angel.
503
00:16:05,286 --> 00:16:06,208
Oh!
504
00:16:06,209 --> 00:16:08,218
Are you okay, sweetie?
505
00:16:08,219 --> 00:16:10,158
It's nothing, it's nothing.
506
00:16:10,159 --> 00:16:12,250
It's just, now that we moved,
507
00:16:12,251 --> 00:16:15,188
I'm directly under a vent,
and it's very chilly.
508
00:16:15,189 --> 00:16:16,978
Oh, you poor thing.
509
00:16:16,979 --> 00:16:18,998
Well, maybe we should all leave
and go someplace else
510
00:16:18,999 --> 00:16:20,385
that's not quite so drafty?
511
00:16:20,386 --> 00:16:22,038
No, we just got our drinks.
We're having fun.
512
00:16:22,039 --> 00:16:24,262
Well, some of us are having
fun, some of us are freezing.
513
00:16:24,263 --> 00:16:25,238
You know, you guys work it out.
514
00:16:25,239 --> 00:16:27,988
I'm just gonna see if
the bartender can warm up
515
00:16:27,989 --> 00:16:28,988
this white wine.
516
00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:30,008
- Ah!
- Okay.
517
00:16:30,009 --> 00:16:32,048
So how long
you guys in town for?
518
00:16:32,049 --> 00:16:33,118
We leave tomorrow,
6:00 a.m. sharp.
519
00:16:33,119 --> 00:16:34,238
Well, I'm glad
I caught you, then,
520
00:16:34,239 --> 00:16:36,078
because this place
has 10 cent wings.
521
00:16:36,079 --> 00:16:37,339
What?
522
00:16:37,340 --> 00:16:39,046
Mindy, Courtney gave up
our weekend together.
523
00:16:39,047 --> 00:16:40,490
The least we could do
is go someplace
524
00:16:40,491 --> 00:16:41,777
where she wouldn't be suffering.
525
00:16:41,778 --> 00:16:42,801
Okay, well, good luck with that,
526
00:16:42,802 --> 00:16:44,271
'cause she suffers everywhere.
527
00:16:44,272 --> 00:16:45,048
Should I go?
528
00:16:45,049 --> 00:16:46,612
Mindy, you owe Courtney
and I an apology.
529
00:16:46,613 --> 00:16:48,738
For what? For scoring us
a dozen new patients?
530
00:16:48,739 --> 00:16:50,218
Yeah, and I got a callback
for "Spring Awakening."
531
00:16:50,219 --> 00:16:52,148
- Yeah, man.
- You have been rude to us.
532
00:16:52,149 --> 00:16:55,210
And, to quote Tim Gunn,
"That is not a good look."
533
00:16:55,211 --> 00:16:56,178
Okay, if Tim Gunn was here,
he would say,
534
00:16:56,179 --> 00:16:57,198
"That's a lot of look."
535
00:16:57,199 --> 00:16:59,840
"That's a lot of look!"
536
00:16:59,841 --> 00:17:01,068
You know what?
I am sorry.
537
00:17:01,069 --> 00:17:03,528
I am so sorry
that I had to spend a weekend
538
00:17:03,529 --> 00:17:06,038
making conversation with a woman
who cannot tolerate
539
00:17:06,039 --> 00:17:07,108
Earth's atmosphere.
540
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:08,168
- Yeah, you know, I'm gonna go.
- No!
541
00:17:08,169 --> 00:17:09,198
- No!
- Don't... ugh.
542
00:17:09,199 --> 00:17:10,208
- Son of a bitch.
- Bye-bye.
543
00:17:10,209 --> 00:17:12,058
Hey, man, what is your problem?
544
00:17:12,059 --> 00:17:13,145
You haven't even given
Courtney a chance.
545
00:17:13,146 --> 00:17:15,138
You've been rude to her
this whole trip.
546
00:17:15,139 --> 00:17:17,178
Well, I don't understand why
it's so important to you
547
00:17:17,179 --> 00:17:18,248
that I like your girlfriend.
548
00:17:18,249 --> 00:17:20,978
We are coworkers.
We do not need to socialize.
549
00:17:20,979 --> 00:17:22,118
In fact, maybe you should leave.
550
00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:24,098
- Well, maybe I should.
- No, no, don't go.
551
00:17:24,099 --> 00:17:26,068
- Bye-bye.
- No, no, no, don't, Dr. K.
552
00:17:26,069 --> 00:17:27,098
Sure, no.
553
00:17:27,099 --> 00:17:29,248
No, we're not
taking your money, man.
554
00:17:30,259 --> 00:17:32,138
You chased everyone away.
Are you happy?
555
00:17:32,139 --> 00:17:33,405
No.
556
00:17:38,189 --> 00:17:39,747
I mean, can you believe Jody?
557
00:17:39,748 --> 00:17:42,038
Acting like it's my job
to treat his pushy,
558
00:17:42,039 --> 00:17:44,038
sneeze-monster girlfriend
like she's my sister?
559
00:17:44,039 --> 00:17:46,799
Hey, I am the only sister
you're ever gonna need.
560
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:48,346
Hey, Morgan.
561
00:17:48,347 --> 00:17:50,008
I love that you've
kept me company,
562
00:17:50,009 --> 00:17:53,008
but I-I really don't need,
nor want, you to stay
563
00:17:53,009 --> 00:17:54,311
for the rest of the night.
564
00:17:54,312 --> 00:17:55,258
You can't be alone
after that fight.
565
00:17:55,259 --> 00:17:57,998
Also, the hotel was out of rooms
566
00:17:57,999 --> 00:18:00,098
that didn't cost anything, so...
567
00:18:00,099 --> 00:18:01,148
You can sleep on the floor.
568
00:18:01,149 --> 00:18:03,098
Can we just watch some
Pay-Per-View, please?
569
00:18:03,099 --> 00:18:04,268
No porn!
570
00:18:04,269 --> 00:18:06,998
Because I checked earlier,
and I've seen them all.
571
00:18:08,099 --> 00:18:10,218
Okay, I turned the heat
up to 90.
572
00:18:10,219 --> 00:18:11,248
Oh.
573
00:18:11,249 --> 00:18:13,108
Are you sure
it's not too warm in here?
574
00:18:13,109 --> 00:18:14,258
No, the hotel has heat.
575
00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:16,208
We'd be fools not to
take advantage.
576
00:18:16,209 --> 00:18:19,038
I think I'm gonna put on
another pair of socks.
577
00:18:19,039 --> 00:18:20,747
Oh, that's a good idea.
578
00:18:20,748 --> 00:18:23,048
Oh, you left your belt
buckle in the car.
579
00:18:23,049 --> 00:18:24,148
I grabbed it.
580
00:18:24,149 --> 00:18:25,258
- Belt buckle?
- Yeah.
581
00:18:25,259 --> 00:18:28,028
It's almost too heavy
for me to carry.
582
00:18:28,029 --> 00:18:29,068
Where'd you get it?
583
00:18:29,069 --> 00:18:32,049
Uh...
584
00:18:33,169 --> 00:18:36,178
Texas.
585
00:18:36,179 --> 00:18:38,188
Will you excuse me, honey?
I, uh...
586
00:18:38,189 --> 00:18:39,248
I'm gonna go down to the lobby,
587
00:18:39,249 --> 00:18:42,234
get you a nice cup
of boiling hot tea.
588
00:18:42,235 --> 00:18:44,382
See, I gave everyone
backrubs in prison.
589
00:18:44,383 --> 00:18:45,945
My friend Choocho loved it.
590
00:18:45,946 --> 00:18:47,034
Murdered his whole family.
591
00:18:48,074 --> 00:18:49,098
Oh, my God,
I didn't tell my parole officer
592
00:18:49,099 --> 00:18:50,188
I was leaving the state.
593
00:18:50,189 --> 00:18:52,048
If it's a man named Jamar,
I'm not here.
594
00:18:53,269 --> 00:18:56,008
Good evening, Mindy.
595
00:18:56,009 --> 00:18:57,028
Oh, uh...
596
00:18:57,029 --> 00:18:58,028
may I have a word with you?
597
00:18:58,029 --> 00:19:00,158
Okay.
598
00:19:00,159 --> 00:19:02,998
I just wanted to apologize
about how harsh I was
599
00:19:02,999 --> 00:19:05,156
at that college tavern tonight.
600
00:19:05,157 --> 00:19:06,567
You've really
embarrassed me in front of
601
00:19:06,568 --> 00:19:08,008
a room filled with strangers.
602
00:19:08,009 --> 00:19:10,638
Afterwards, sure,
I embarrassed myself even worse
603
00:19:10,639 --> 00:19:12,590
by throwing up while
doing karaoke, but still.
604
00:19:12,591 --> 00:19:15,058
I wasn't supportive enough
of you or our business,
605
00:19:15,059 --> 00:19:17,352
and I'm...
I am sorry for that.
606
00:19:17,353 --> 00:19:19,340
And I am sorry
that I was rude to Courtney.
607
00:19:19,341 --> 00:19:20,598
Eh.
608
00:19:20,599 --> 00:19:22,148
It's just, she's so, like,
annoying and, like,
609
00:19:22,149 --> 00:19:25,208
her stories suck, and she's,
like, not really from Boston.
610
00:19:25,209 --> 00:19:27,298
Kind of an apology...
611
00:19:27,299 --> 00:19:28,644
But you seem to really like her,
612
00:19:28,645 --> 00:19:30,088
so she must be worth liking.
613
00:19:30,089 --> 00:19:32,068
I can find some good in her.
614
00:19:32,069 --> 00:19:33,843
- Like, she always has gum.
- Mm-hmm.
615
00:19:33,844 --> 00:19:35,118
- Okay?
- Mm-hmm.
616
00:19:35,119 --> 00:19:36,238
And she's pretty.
617
00:19:36,239 --> 00:19:39,118
And she's probably smart.
618
00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:41,702
And she seems to make you happy.
619
00:19:41,703 --> 00:19:44,544
I just wanted to clarify
something, though, with you.
620
00:19:44,545 --> 00:19:46,146
- I found this...
- Hey.
621
00:19:46,147 --> 00:19:47,622
- Hello.
- How are ya?
622
00:19:47,623 --> 00:19:48,332
Well.
623
00:19:48,333 --> 00:19:49,998
You guys doing, like,
official work stuff?
624
00:19:49,999 --> 00:19:50,998
Because if you are, I should be
included in the conversation.
625
00:19:50,999 --> 00:19:52,038
No, I was going...
626
00:19:52,039 --> 00:19:53,148
We're having
a private conversation.
627
00:19:53,149 --> 00:19:54,248
Like, about patients and stuff?
628
00:19:54,249 --> 00:19:56,714
It's not... it's like
a regular hangout...?
629
00:19:56,715 --> 00:19:58,263
You know what, we were
actually in the middle
630
00:19:58,264 --> 00:19:59,446
of doing our hangout.
631
00:19:59,447 --> 00:20:01,670
All right, well, I'll just...
I'll let you get back to your evening.
632
00:20:01,671 --> 00:20:02,825
Did you want to tell me...?
Okay.
633
00:20:02,826 --> 00:20:04,611
And I'll, uh, make sure
Courtney's staying warm.
634
00:20:04,612 --> 00:20:06,128
See you for breakfast.
635
00:20:06,129 --> 00:20:08,068
Okay.
636
00:20:10,169 --> 00:20:11,658
Now this is your night.
637
00:20:11,659 --> 00:20:13,005
You're gonna sit on the bed,
638
00:20:13,006 --> 00:20:14,068
and you're gonna
look at my toenail
639
00:20:14,069 --> 00:20:16,048
and you're gonna tell me
what the hell is going on.
640
00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:17,586
- Oh, God!
- Is that scales?
641
00:20:17,587 --> 00:20:18,988
It smells so bad.
642
00:20:18,989 --> 00:20:20,500
I've tried sprays...
I dumped a whole thing of
643
00:20:20,501 --> 00:20:22,380
Puff Daddy cologne on here.
644
00:20:22,381 --> 00:20:23,108
Hold on.
645
00:20:23,109 --> 00:20:25,188
Oh, God, I have
a kernel of corn in here.
646
00:20:25,189 --> 00:20:26,839
You want to get a bite to eat?
647
00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:29,058
Pizza emoji.
Burrito emoji.
648
00:20:29,059 --> 00:20:31,833
I have, like, a nail
growing on top of this nail.
649
00:20:32,853 --> 00:20:35,643
Yeah, and then we can poop emoji...
650
00:20:37,448 --> 00:20:40,709
Oops, I meant party emoji.
They're both in my frequently used.
651
00:20:40,710 --> 00:20:42,850
Oh, I cut my finger
on my own toenail!
652
00:20:44,069 --> 00:20:46,871
Oh, man.
Butler dining hall.
653
00:20:46,872 --> 00:20:48,191
- Mm.
- Damn.
654
00:20:48,192 --> 00:20:49,108
I have missed
these cheesesteaks.
655
00:20:49,109 --> 00:20:50,545
I used to have,
like, four a night.
656
00:20:50,546 --> 00:20:52,178
Well, that's the perks of
working at a college.
657
00:20:52,179 --> 00:20:54,282
Almost makes up for
all the hacky sack.
658
00:20:54,283 --> 00:20:56,018
Does your girlfriend
hate hacky sack, too?
659
00:20:57,537 --> 00:20:59,098
What?
660
00:20:59,099 --> 00:21:01,574
I'm sorry,
that was just so subtle.
661
00:21:01,575 --> 00:21:02,998
Um, I almost didn't catch it.
662
00:21:02,999 --> 00:21:04,532
No.
No, no girlfriend.
663
00:21:04,533 --> 00:21:06,510
Do you ever go up to Manhattan?
664
00:21:06,511 --> 00:21:07,618
Well, it's funny you should ask,
665
00:21:07,619 --> 00:21:09,513
because I'm actually going up
to watch spring practice
666
00:21:09,514 --> 00:21:11,212
at the Dalton School next week.
667
00:21:11,213 --> 00:21:13,218
- All punters.
- Mm.
668
00:21:13,219 --> 00:21:14,612
You want to come?
669
00:21:14,613 --> 00:21:15,662
Mm, no.
670
00:21:15,663 --> 00:21:17,612
I hate sports.
I'd rather die.
671
00:21:17,613 --> 00:21:21,662
Hey, dummy, I was just trying
to ask you out on a date.
672
00:21:21,663 --> 00:21:23,632
Oh, my God, um...
673
00:21:23,633 --> 00:21:25,552
Yes, I would love to.
674
00:21:25,553 --> 00:21:27,929
Wow, I'm really excited
to see you next week.
675
00:21:28,294 --> 00:21:31,007
Aren't we just gonna go to
my place and have sex right now?
676
00:21:31,413 --> 00:21:33,382
- Damn, dude.
- Too soon?
677
00:21:33,383 --> 00:21:35,572
Super hot.
678
00:21:35,573 --> 00:21:37,502
Um, I do have really
thin walls, though,
679
00:21:37,503 --> 00:21:38,632
so you're gonna have to
keep it down.
680
00:21:38,633 --> 00:21:39,632
Oh, my God.
681
00:21:39,633 --> 00:21:40,632
I live in Manhattan.
682
00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:41,642
I'm all about thin walls.
683
00:21:41,643 --> 00:21:43,221
I'll just shove a sock
in my mouth.
684
00:21:43,222 --> 00:21:44,666
Let's go.
685
00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:48,452
Hey, guys, I'm sorry I was
a little late this morning.
686
00:21:48,453 --> 00:21:49,572
Courtney, are you okay
with the AC?
687
00:21:49,573 --> 00:21:51,402
Oh, I'm great.
688
00:21:51,403 --> 00:21:53,482
I've got one of those silver
blankets ambulances give out.
689
00:21:53,483 --> 00:21:54,444
But thanks.
690
00:21:54,445 --> 00:21:56,652
Hey, you shouldn't have
abandoned me last night, okay?
691
00:21:56,653 --> 00:21:58,582
I tossed and turned so much,
I fell off the bed
692
00:21:58,583 --> 00:21:59,435
and I hurt myself.
693
00:21:59,436 --> 00:22:00,840
I'm sorry, Morgan.
694
00:22:00,841 --> 00:22:03,185
Wait, you didn't make it
home last night?
695
00:22:03,186 --> 00:22:05,562
Was it that football guy
from the bar?
696
00:22:05,563 --> 00:22:06,562
Maybe.
697
00:22:06,563 --> 00:22:08,632
Oh, you go, girl!
698
00:22:08,633 --> 00:22:11,628
That guy was hot
and had a strong jawline.
699
00:22:11,629 --> 00:22:12,482
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
700
00:22:12,483 --> 00:22:14,472
And he sure used
that jawline last night.
701
00:22:14,473 --> 00:22:16,642
- Oh!
- What?
702
00:22:16,643 --> 00:22:18,522
Please, Mindy,
there's a lady present.
703
00:22:18,523 --> 00:22:20,721
Wasn't a lady present
last night.
704
00:22:20,722 --> 00:22:23,007
- Oh!
- Yes!
705
00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:24,642
All right, let's pay
attention to the road.
706
00:22:24,643 --> 00:22:26,532
I know someone
who got rode last night.
707
00:22:26,533 --> 00:22:28,391
- It was the coach!
- Morgan!
708
00:22:28,392 --> 00:22:33,355
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/