1 00:00:00,187 --> 00:00:02,973 New Yorkers should be bracing for the season's first... 2 00:00:02,974 --> 00:00:04,809 And worst... Nor'easter. 3 00:00:04,810 --> 00:00:07,044 I'm talking "Snowtastrophe." 4 00:00:07,045 --> 00:00:10,481 Okay, I am so sorry this keeps happening. 5 00:00:10,482 --> 00:00:11,716 I'll be right up. 6 00:00:11,717 --> 00:00:14,085 Thank you so much. 7 00:00:14,086 --> 00:00:15,653 Miles snuck out again. He's in 4B. 8 00:00:15,654 --> 00:00:17,321 This is getting out of hand. 9 00:00:17,322 --> 00:00:19,523 He was so angry I wouldn't give him two desserts. 10 00:00:19,524 --> 00:00:21,325 Oh, and he's in his snowsuit. 11 00:00:21,326 --> 00:00:23,761 What're we supposed to do, booby-trap the front door? 12 00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:26,230 No, we just have to know that when it's quiet out there, 13 00:00:26,231 --> 00:00:27,231 there's a problem. 14 00:00:27,232 --> 00:00:28,766 It was so peaceful. 15 00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:30,501 I was so happy there for a few minutes. 16 00:00:30,502 --> 00:00:31,502 You want me to go? 17 00:00:31,503 --> 00:00:32,903 No, I'll go. 18 00:00:32,904 --> 00:00:34,538 I'll bring them another bottle of Pinot. 19 00:00:34,539 --> 00:00:35,740 I thought they like Riesling? 20 00:00:35,741 --> 00:00:37,007 No, that's 4F. 21 00:00:37,008 --> 00:00:38,776 [energetic punk music] 22 00:00:38,777 --> 00:00:41,512 ♪ Hey, yes, you know ♪ 23 00:00:41,513 --> 00:00:45,015 ♪ I'm feeling fine, I'm feeling fine ♪ 24 00:00:45,016 --> 00:00:46,717 Yes, well, as you know, 25 00:00:46,718 --> 00:00:48,452 the school reached out to me about Miles, 26 00:00:48,453 --> 00:00:50,488 and I've been observing him for the past few weeks. 27 00:00:50,490 --> 00:00:53,925 Now, what I've seen is a very bright, energetic child... 28 00:00:53,926 --> 00:00:55,326 - Thanks. - We think so. 29 00:00:55,327 --> 00:00:57,828 With passionate likes and dislikes. 30 00:00:57,829 --> 00:00:59,697 Now, based on my analysis, 31 00:00:59,698 --> 00:01:03,000 Miles checks every box for O.D.D. 32 00:01:03,001 --> 00:01:04,402 A.D.D.? 33 00:01:04,403 --> 00:01:06,671 Wait, I thought it was called ADHD now. 34 00:01:06,672 --> 00:01:08,606 I can't keep up with all the labels. 35 00:01:08,607 --> 00:01:10,675 No, it's not A.D.D. 36 00:01:10,676 --> 00:01:14,245 It's O.D.D.: oppositional defiance disorder. 37 00:01:14,246 --> 00:01:17,048 Here's a list of the symptoms. 38 00:01:17,049 --> 00:01:20,351 "Defiant, argumentative, doesn't take no for an answer, 39 00:01:20,352 --> 00:01:21,385 easily annoyed"... 40 00:01:21,386 --> 00:01:24,422 yep... Miles, he's got O.D.D. 41 00:01:24,423 --> 00:01:25,423 O.D.D.? 42 00:01:25,424 --> 00:01:27,692 Isn't that just K.I.D? 43 00:01:27,693 --> 00:01:30,895 When did childhood suddenly become a disorder? 44 00:01:30,896 --> 00:01:32,263 That is very funny! 45 00:01:32,264 --> 00:01:33,965 K.I.D. I'm gonna have to remember that. 46 00:01:33,966 --> 00:01:35,766 But no, I'm afraid what I've witnessed 47 00:01:35,767 --> 00:01:38,102 exceeds what's typical for his age group. 48 00:01:38,103 --> 00:01:40,705 But he's a boy, and he's strong-willed. 49 00:01:40,706 --> 00:01:43,074 He tried to chop off Hazel's ponytail yesterday. 50 00:01:43,075 --> 00:01:44,642 Well, it's hair. It'll grow back. 51 00:01:44,643 --> 00:01:46,644 Do you see what I'm up against? 52 00:01:46,645 --> 00:01:48,312 Right, let's talk about you two. 53 00:01:48,313 --> 00:01:49,714 How have things been going lately? 54 00:01:49,715 --> 00:01:50,948 - Not great. - Fine. 55 00:01:50,949 --> 00:01:52,950 What? Why not great? 56 00:01:52,951 --> 00:01:56,921 Well, you've been around a lot more than you used to be, 57 00:01:56,922 --> 00:01:59,156 and you have a lot of opinions 58 00:01:59,157 --> 00:02:01,626 about the kids, the house, everything. 59 00:02:01,627 --> 00:02:02,960 It sounds like a big adjustment. 60 00:02:02,961 --> 00:02:05,463 Yeah, well, Jill has always coddled Miles, 61 00:02:05,464 --> 00:02:08,966 so perhaps she is in denial about what's really going on. 62 00:02:08,967 --> 00:02:10,835 Okay, if you're willing, 63 00:02:10,836 --> 00:02:13,571 I'd love to set up some more sessions in the coming weeks. 64 00:02:13,572 --> 00:02:15,072 I think that's a great idea. 65 00:02:15,073 --> 00:02:18,776 Wait, but this is to discuss Miles, right? 66 00:02:18,777 --> 00:02:20,478 Mm, yes. 67 00:02:20,479 --> 00:02:23,080 [upbeat instrumental music] 68 00:02:23,081 --> 00:02:26,684 And then, when I decide it's time, and Lex moves back in, 69 00:02:26,685 --> 00:02:29,787 I'll tell him we're changing this cheesy man cave 70 00:02:29,788 --> 00:02:31,989 and turning it into a humidity-controlled 71 00:02:31,990 --> 00:02:33,924 art storage unit. 72 00:02:33,925 --> 00:02:37,628 I'm already picturing Degas and Klimt over here, 73 00:02:37,629 --> 00:02:39,363 cozying up to your Damien Hirst collection. 74 00:02:39,364 --> 00:02:40,931 Oh! 75 00:02:40,932 --> 00:02:43,134 It'll be like a mini Barnes Foundation. 76 00:02:43,135 --> 00:02:44,302 I love that. 77 00:02:44,303 --> 00:02:45,503 Morning! 78 00:02:45,504 --> 00:02:47,505 Oh, hi, Patty. 79 00:02:47,506 --> 00:02:48,939 I didn't know you were stopping by. 80 00:02:48,940 --> 00:02:51,542 Did Lex send more motorized sleds for the kids? 81 00:02:51,543 --> 00:02:53,277 Oh, no, Mr. Von Weber told me 82 00:02:53,278 --> 00:02:56,314 to come by and pick up some of his personal effects. 83 00:02:56,315 --> 00:02:57,548 Excuse me? 84 00:02:57,549 --> 00:02:58,883 He needs some more of his things. 85 00:02:58,884 --> 00:03:00,885 Yeah, I'm not a moron. What things? 86 00:03:00,886 --> 00:03:02,520 Just a few necessities. 87 00:03:02,521 --> 00:03:04,955 The rest of his cuff links, his cigar collection, 88 00:03:04,956 --> 00:03:07,858 his massage chair, all his John Lobb shoes, 89 00:03:07,859 --> 00:03:09,460 the portrait of himself as a centaur, 90 00:03:09,461 --> 00:03:11,395 and his pillow. 91 00:03:11,396 --> 00:03:13,964 Oh. Okay. 92 00:03:13,965 --> 00:03:16,300 Gentlemen, start with this. Thank you. 93 00:03:16,301 --> 00:03:19,570 Yeah, just, careful, please, with the left corner. 94 00:03:19,571 --> 00:03:22,640 Careful! Careful, please. 95 00:03:22,641 --> 00:03:24,842 [upbeat instrumental music] 96 00:03:24,843 --> 00:03:27,011 "You and Your Spirited Child." 97 00:03:27,012 --> 00:03:28,379 "The Defiant Soul." 98 00:03:28,380 --> 00:03:29,814 "You Can Say No to Your Child." 99 00:03:29,815 --> 00:03:32,149 There's about ten books on O.D.D. here. 100 00:03:32,150 --> 00:03:34,251 Miles has chutzpah, okay? 101 00:03:34,252 --> 00:03:37,054 I'd rather have that than some mute nose-picker 102 00:03:37,055 --> 00:03:38,856 wallflower any day. 103 00:03:38,857 --> 00:03:41,258 These books are never gonna get here with this storm coming. 104 00:03:41,259 --> 00:03:43,361 They say all the airports are gonna shut down. 105 00:03:43,362 --> 00:03:46,731 Andy, every year, they predict "Snowmageddon," 106 00:03:46,732 --> 00:03:48,532 and everyone's shitting ice cubes, 107 00:03:48,533 --> 00:03:50,468 and then, it's like, there's one less barista 108 00:03:50,469 --> 00:03:51,702 at the coffee bar. 109 00:03:51,703 --> 00:03:53,003 What are you doing? 110 00:03:53,004 --> 00:03:54,505 Straightening up? 111 00:03:54,506 --> 00:03:56,273 No, that's their responsibility. 112 00:03:56,274 --> 00:03:58,676 That's what the chore wheel is all about. 113 00:03:58,677 --> 00:04:00,945 Who messed up the chore wheel? 114 00:04:00,946 --> 00:04:04,248 Kids, come in here, please, and pick up your shoes. 115 00:04:04,249 --> 00:04:06,517 It's like Mount St. Helen of footwear here. 116 00:04:06,518 --> 00:04:07,518 Kids! 117 00:04:07,519 --> 00:04:09,587 [phone ringing] 118 00:04:09,588 --> 00:04:10,621 Hello? 119 00:04:10,622 --> 00:04:12,223 Hi, I might have to go soon. 120 00:04:12,224 --> 00:04:14,291 Andy's on the warpath about the chore wheel. 121 00:04:14,292 --> 00:04:16,293 I am so glad I'm not married. 122 00:04:16,294 --> 00:04:17,762 Seriously. 123 00:04:17,763 --> 00:04:19,530 I never realized how much intensity 124 00:04:19,531 --> 00:04:22,133 he brought to his job, and now we're his job. 125 00:04:22,134 --> 00:04:24,301 Sorry to vent. What're you up to? 126 00:04:24,302 --> 00:04:26,404 Just trying to figure out what to binge-watch next. 127 00:04:26,405 --> 00:04:27,905 Do you think Netflix has "Rhoda"? 128 00:04:27,906 --> 00:04:29,740 Hello? "Game of Thrones"? 129 00:04:29,741 --> 00:04:31,642 Yeah, I know I should... 130 00:04:31,643 --> 00:04:33,077 and I totally will. 131 00:04:33,078 --> 00:04:34,612 I'm just not in the mood, you know? 132 00:04:34,613 --> 00:04:36,480 No, I don't know. 133 00:04:36,481 --> 00:04:38,616 How can you not be in the mood for something you've never seen? 134 00:04:38,617 --> 00:04:41,719 I'm just not in the mood for sci-fi. 135 00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:44,622 For the hundredth time, it's not sci-fi. 136 00:04:44,623 --> 00:04:45,623 There are dragons. 137 00:04:45,624 --> 00:04:46,991 But you know me. 138 00:04:46,992 --> 00:04:48,926 I hate wizards, I hate magic, 139 00:04:48,927 --> 00:04:51,262 I hate flying things, I hate capes, 140 00:04:51,263 --> 00:04:54,165 I hate quests, I hate spells, 141 00:04:54,166 --> 00:04:56,167 I hate animals that don't exist, 142 00:04:56,168 --> 00:04:59,737 and I worship at the altar of this goddamn show! 143 00:04:59,738 --> 00:05:02,006 Maybe, I'll see how I feel after dinner. 144 00:05:02,007 --> 00:05:03,574 Ow, Miles... Now, that hurt. 145 00:05:03,575 --> 00:05:06,444 Okay, Jill? A little help here? 146 00:05:06,445 --> 00:05:09,079 I got to go, my dragons are on the loose. 147 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:10,146 Okay. [kisses] 148 00:05:11,249 --> 00:05:14,251 [upbeat instrumental music] 149 00:05:14,252 --> 00:05:17,188 ♪ ♪ 150 00:05:17,189 --> 00:05:18,956 Get my husband on the line. 151 00:05:18,957 --> 00:05:20,089 Right away. 152 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:24,327 [phone ringing] 153 00:05:26,665 --> 00:05:29,133 Hi, Patty, it's Nikki from Mrs. Von Weber's office, 154 00:05:29,134 --> 00:05:30,668 calling for Mr. Von Weber. 155 00:05:30,669 --> 00:05:32,869 Uh, hi, Nikki, let me see if he's available. 156 00:05:34,339 --> 00:05:36,507 I'm afraid he is unavailable at the moment. 157 00:05:36,508 --> 00:05:38,209 Is there a message I can take? 158 00:05:38,210 --> 00:05:40,511 A message? One moment, please. 159 00:05:40,512 --> 00:05:42,213 [whispering] Set up a meeting, in person. 160 00:05:42,214 --> 00:05:43,781 ASAP. 161 00:05:43,782 --> 00:05:45,883 Actually, Mrs. Von Weber would like to set a meeting. 162 00:05:45,884 --> 00:05:46,884 Is he free for lunch today? 163 00:05:46,885 --> 00:05:47,951 Lunch? 164 00:05:49,387 --> 00:05:51,155 No, I'm afraid he's booked. 165 00:05:51,156 --> 00:05:52,556 Then breakfast, tomorrow. 166 00:05:52,557 --> 00:05:54,191 How's breakfast tomorrow? 167 00:05:54,192 --> 00:05:56,560 I'm afraid that's impossible. 168 00:05:56,561 --> 00:05:58,162 Coffee? Drinks? 169 00:05:58,163 --> 00:06:00,197 Coffee? Drinks? 170 00:06:00,198 --> 00:06:01,866 [mouthing words] 171 00:06:01,867 --> 00:06:04,001 He's quite busy all week. 172 00:06:04,002 --> 00:06:05,236 This is an urgent matter. 173 00:06:05,237 --> 00:06:06,871 Surely, you can find an opening. 174 00:06:06,872 --> 00:06:08,038 Tough! 175 00:06:08,039 --> 00:06:09,306 I've been groveling for months. 176 00:06:09,307 --> 00:06:10,741 She's not getting a meal. 177 00:06:10,742 --> 00:06:12,042 I'm so sorry. 178 00:06:12,043 --> 00:06:15,312 All his mealtimes are fully committed. 179 00:06:15,313 --> 00:06:18,215 Patty, this is Mrs. Von Weber. 180 00:06:18,216 --> 00:06:21,018 If Lex has any interest in seeing his children again, 181 00:06:21,019 --> 00:06:25,222 it would behoove him to find time to see me. 182 00:06:25,223 --> 00:06:27,057 20 minutes in the Sprinter. 183 00:06:27,058 --> 00:06:30,594 He can offer you road time in his mobile office, 184 00:06:30,595 --> 00:06:32,830 tomorrow between appointments. 185 00:06:32,831 --> 00:06:35,866 3:30 to 3:50. It's the best I can do. 186 00:06:35,867 --> 00:06:38,669 That's perfect, because I'm swamped as well. 187 00:06:38,670 --> 00:06:40,169 Send Nikki the details. 188 00:06:42,674 --> 00:06:44,542 Can you check and see if my mindfulness coach 189 00:06:44,543 --> 00:06:45,609 can come in today? 190 00:06:45,610 --> 00:06:47,044 Any time. 191 00:06:47,045 --> 00:06:49,213 I'm gonna need a tune-up to prepare for this. 192 00:06:49,214 --> 00:06:53,117 [upbeat instrumental music] 193 00:06:53,118 --> 00:06:57,520 Om...my, God, oh, my God, I'm freaking out. 194 00:07:00,072 --> 00:07:01,305 Oh, yeah. Keep it coming. 195 00:07:01,306 --> 00:07:03,574 I need a Pinot IV drip. 196 00:07:03,575 --> 00:07:06,475 You might think House of Pain is a '90s hip-hop band, 197 00:07:06,477 --> 00:07:09,011 but it's actually our apartment right now. 198 00:07:09,013 --> 00:07:11,348 So are we ready to order? 199 00:07:11,349 --> 00:07:14,885 Sure, do you want to just get your pad or whatever? 200 00:07:14,886 --> 00:07:16,720 Nope, ready when you are. 201 00:07:16,721 --> 00:07:18,155 Kay, 'cause I have a lot of, like, 202 00:07:18,156 --> 00:07:21,191 substitutions and exclusions and sides and stuff, 203 00:07:21,192 --> 00:07:23,827 if you'd rather write it down. 204 00:07:23,828 --> 00:07:27,197 Not necessary. I'm pretty good at this. 205 00:07:27,198 --> 00:07:29,333 Babe, could you have a little faith? 206 00:07:29,334 --> 00:07:30,634 It's hard. I've been burned. 207 00:07:30,635 --> 00:07:33,337 Remember Talde? "Cilantropalooza"? 208 00:07:33,338 --> 00:07:34,804 Really, it's okay. 209 00:07:34,806 --> 00:07:36,841 I'm in a theater company, so I'm trained to memorize 210 00:07:36,842 --> 00:07:38,976 pages and pages of dialogue. 211 00:07:38,977 --> 00:07:41,077 Trust me. 212 00:07:51,957 --> 00:07:53,590 [TV theme music] 213 00:07:54,993 --> 00:07:58,195 He is never gonna remember every single detail. 214 00:07:58,196 --> 00:07:59,764 What's he trying to prove? 215 00:07:59,765 --> 00:08:01,432 Nothing bugs me more. 216 00:08:01,433 --> 00:08:02,500 Mm. 217 00:08:02,501 --> 00:08:03,801 What? 218 00:08:03,802 --> 00:08:05,936 It's just... O.D.D. Symptom Number Five. 219 00:08:05,937 --> 00:08:07,605 "Is easily annoyed." 220 00:08:07,606 --> 00:08:09,273 That's not true. 221 00:08:09,274 --> 00:08:11,709 Oh, come on, hon, you get annoyed more than anyone I know. 222 00:08:11,710 --> 00:08:13,310 More than Miles, actually. 223 00:08:13,311 --> 00:08:14,979 No, I don't! 224 00:08:14,980 --> 00:08:17,548 Oh...people who hold their mugs from the non-handle side. 225 00:08:17,549 --> 00:08:19,617 People that say, "Can I pick your brain?" 226 00:08:19,618 --> 00:08:21,018 The fact that there aren't any men 227 00:08:21,019 --> 00:08:23,120 in laundry detergent commercials. 228 00:08:23,121 --> 00:08:24,989 What are you saying? I have O.D.D.? 229 00:08:24,990 --> 00:08:26,690 All the books say it's hereditary. 230 00:08:26,691 --> 00:08:29,994 Whoa, I have completely normal levels of annoyance. 231 00:08:29,995 --> 00:08:32,897 You just happen to have below-normal levels. 232 00:08:32,898 --> 00:08:35,065 There's probably a condition for that too. 233 00:08:35,066 --> 00:08:37,668 Yes, and I think it's called, 234 00:08:37,669 --> 00:08:40,704 "Let's just try and relax and have a nice night." 235 00:08:40,705 --> 00:08:43,174 Fine by me. 236 00:08:43,175 --> 00:08:45,743 [normal crunching] 237 00:08:45,744 --> 00:08:49,012 [crunching amplifying and echoing] 238 00:08:50,549 --> 00:08:52,416 Do you think I'm easily annoyed? 239 00:08:52,417 --> 00:08:55,085 You do have an impressive list of grievances. 240 00:08:55,086 --> 00:08:56,987 High boots with open toes. 241 00:08:56,988 --> 00:08:58,389 "Going dutch." 242 00:08:58,390 --> 00:09:00,524 People who say their baby is "23 months old." 243 00:09:00,525 --> 00:09:03,727 Well, that annoys everybody, and if I hear one more person 244 00:09:03,728 --> 00:09:05,696 say the "Snowpocalypse" is coming... 245 00:09:05,697 --> 00:09:07,097 It better be. 246 00:09:07,098 --> 00:09:08,866 I'm two seasons into "Friday Night Lights," 247 00:09:08,867 --> 00:09:12,770 and it's as good as everyone says. 248 00:09:12,771 --> 00:09:14,839 What? 249 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:16,006 Nothing. 250 00:09:16,007 --> 00:09:18,709 Come on, what? What just happened? 251 00:09:18,710 --> 00:09:19,943 It's just... 252 00:09:21,613 --> 00:09:23,848 I have some resentment that's been building up, 253 00:09:23,849 --> 00:09:25,783 and I want to come clean. 254 00:09:25,784 --> 00:09:27,952 I don't want to keep it inside anymore. 255 00:09:27,953 --> 00:09:29,619 Oh, my God. What is it? 256 00:09:31,590 --> 00:09:34,491 It really bothers me that you won't watch "Game of Thrones." 257 00:09:36,895 --> 00:09:38,462 Are you serious? 258 00:09:38,463 --> 00:09:42,131 That's your big, festering emotional boil? 259 00:09:42,133 --> 00:09:44,134 Yes. Yes, it is. 260 00:09:44,135 --> 00:09:45,636 Why is that funny? 261 00:09:45,637 --> 00:09:48,272 Because... Honey, it's a TV show. 262 00:09:48,273 --> 00:09:50,808 It is not just a TV show, 263 00:09:50,809 --> 00:09:52,643 and the fact that you refuse to watch it 264 00:09:52,644 --> 00:09:54,611 is driving a wedge between us. 265 00:09:54,612 --> 00:09:56,680 When have I not tried something you loved? 266 00:09:56,681 --> 00:09:57,815 Persimmons. 267 00:09:57,816 --> 00:09:59,349 "Words With Friends." 268 00:09:59,350 --> 00:10:01,819 Those endless Ferrante novels. 269 00:10:01,820 --> 00:10:05,422 Okay, I'm sorry. 270 00:10:05,423 --> 00:10:09,426 I hereby vow to watch "Game of Thrones." 271 00:10:09,427 --> 00:10:12,830 For real this time, okay? 272 00:10:12,831 --> 00:10:14,665 Okay. 273 00:10:14,666 --> 00:10:16,433 Full disclosure: 274 00:10:16,434 --> 00:10:19,103 there's a lot of gratuitous doggy-style sex in the pilot 275 00:10:19,104 --> 00:10:22,539 and second episode, but then it, like, peters out. 276 00:10:22,540 --> 00:10:25,542 [upbeat instrumental music] 277 00:10:25,543 --> 00:10:28,378 ♪ ♪ 278 00:10:28,379 --> 00:10:30,280 On that last item. 279 00:10:30,281 --> 00:10:31,949 No, Chaz, can you let me finish here? 280 00:10:31,950 --> 00:10:35,152 Bob, I need Tokyo on line two in ten. 281 00:10:35,153 --> 00:10:38,622 Patty, I need to cancel my boxing session at Punch. 282 00:10:38,623 --> 00:10:39,923 Brooke, have a seat. 283 00:10:39,924 --> 00:10:41,325 Because the return this month 284 00:10:41,326 --> 00:10:42,391 - is a million... - Uh... 285 00:10:45,296 --> 00:10:47,498 I thought it was time we talked. 286 00:10:47,499 --> 00:10:49,366 Go for it. 287 00:10:49,367 --> 00:10:51,902 Well, I've been thinking, I've taken time to heal 288 00:10:51,903 --> 00:10:55,506 from what you put me and our family through, 289 00:10:55,507 --> 00:10:58,609 and I'm ready to start the process of taking you back. 290 00:10:58,610 --> 00:10:59,877 [sighs] 291 00:10:59,878 --> 00:11:04,248 Listen, Brooke, I've had a lot of time to think too. 292 00:11:04,249 --> 00:11:08,585 At Burning Man, we all wrote down our regrets 293 00:11:08,586 --> 00:11:11,755 with quills on scraps of parchment 294 00:11:11,756 --> 00:11:16,326 and put them in a house made of twigs and set it on fire. 295 00:11:16,327 --> 00:11:17,928 And? 296 00:11:17,929 --> 00:11:20,864 And I've been eating shit sandwiches for months now, 297 00:11:20,865 --> 00:11:24,501 lying prostate at your feet, and what I've realized is... 298 00:11:24,502 --> 00:11:25,502 It's "prostrate." 299 00:11:25,503 --> 00:11:26,870 Whatever. [clears throat] 300 00:11:26,871 --> 00:11:30,941 You haven't made me feel loved or cared for in a long time, 301 00:11:30,942 --> 00:11:32,543 even before all of this. 302 00:11:32,544 --> 00:11:34,111 Now, did I screw up? 303 00:11:34,112 --> 00:11:36,079 Yes, royally. 304 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:38,715 But we both contributed to the problems in this marriage, 305 00:11:38,716 --> 00:11:40,683 and I need to live my truth. 306 00:11:43,421 --> 00:11:45,689 Are you transgender, Lex? 307 00:11:45,690 --> 00:11:46,757 No. 308 00:11:46,758 --> 00:11:49,726 I just want a little affection from my wife. 309 00:11:49,727 --> 00:11:51,595 I show you affection! 310 00:11:51,596 --> 00:11:53,797 I let you rub my feet at night. 311 00:11:53,798 --> 00:11:57,201 I have Crystal pick up those Sour Patch candies you like, 312 00:11:57,202 --> 00:12:00,470 and I buy you a new set of cuff links for every anniversary. 313 00:12:00,471 --> 00:12:02,139 That's not what I need. You don't get it. 314 00:12:02,140 --> 00:12:03,941 - Get what? - Exactly! 315 00:12:03,942 --> 00:12:06,577 You don't even get what you don't get. 316 00:12:06,578 --> 00:12:09,746 I was really hoping this would go another way, Brooke. 317 00:12:09,747 --> 00:12:12,716 I, um... This is my next meeting right up here on the right. 318 00:12:12,717 --> 00:12:15,118 All right, let me punt that right back. 319 00:12:15,119 --> 00:12:16,720 - Ernie Krevitt, my man! - Ernie! 320 00:12:16,721 --> 00:12:18,989 This guy has been killing it for us this year. 321 00:12:18,990 --> 00:12:20,424 Brooke, hey. 322 00:12:20,425 --> 00:12:22,492 Lex, I got more good news. 323 00:12:22,493 --> 00:12:24,394 Oops. Oh, pardon me. 324 00:12:24,395 --> 00:12:28,232 I called this guy, and it was like, you know, 325 00:12:28,233 --> 00:12:30,367 - my long-lost friend. - Bye, Brooke. 326 00:12:30,368 --> 00:12:34,470 [dramatic instrumental music] 327 00:12:35,899 --> 00:12:37,501 Oh, honey! 328 00:12:37,502 --> 00:12:40,070 Don't worry, it gets better. 329 00:12:40,071 --> 00:12:41,071 Oh, hi. 330 00:12:41,072 --> 00:12:42,506 The beginning is hell. 331 00:12:42,507 --> 00:12:43,840 The only way to survive it 332 00:12:43,841 --> 00:12:45,542 is with friends who've been through it. 333 00:12:45,543 --> 00:12:47,377 And get a killer divorce lawyer. 334 00:12:47,378 --> 00:12:49,079 It's all about Eleanor Alter. 335 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:50,480 She's a barracuda in a Chanel suit. 336 00:12:50,481 --> 00:12:51,548 [clicks tongue] 337 00:12:51,549 --> 00:12:53,350 Okay. 338 00:12:53,351 --> 00:12:54,918 You girls thinking what I'm thinking? 339 00:12:54,919 --> 00:12:56,753 All: Girls' trip! 340 00:12:56,754 --> 00:12:59,422 Oh, my God, you have to come with us to Art Basel in Miami. 341 00:12:59,423 --> 00:13:01,191 Tequila luges with Kesha and Pitbull, 342 00:13:01,192 --> 00:13:04,361 foam parties where you dance waist-high in suds, and boys. 343 00:13:04,362 --> 00:13:06,563 Boys, boys, boys, boys. Everywhere! 344 00:13:06,564 --> 00:13:07,898 I'll fire up Air Goldberg. 345 00:13:07,899 --> 00:13:09,399 Let's get the eff out of here 346 00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:11,501 before this place turns into the North Pole. 347 00:13:11,502 --> 00:13:14,037 That sounds fun, actually. 348 00:13:14,038 --> 00:13:17,374 Done! I will book Nobu, Yardbird, Soho House... 349 00:13:17,375 --> 00:13:20,877 South Beach, here we come! 350 00:13:20,878 --> 00:13:21,878 Okay! 351 00:13:21,879 --> 00:13:24,281 All: Yay! 352 00:13:24,282 --> 00:13:26,783 Oh, you're gonna love it. 353 00:13:26,784 --> 00:13:29,085 So, how are things going? 354 00:13:29,086 --> 00:13:30,287 - Not so good. - Sucky. 355 00:13:30,288 --> 00:13:31,521 Okay, one at a time. 356 00:13:31,522 --> 00:13:33,423 Jill, why don't we start with you? 357 00:13:33,424 --> 00:13:37,294 Well, I feel like Andy's blaming me for Miles' O.D.D. 358 00:13:37,295 --> 00:13:39,429 He's always pointing the finger... 359 00:13:39,430 --> 00:13:40,430 Ah, ah, ah. 360 00:13:40,431 --> 00:13:41,898 Before we go any further, 361 00:13:41,899 --> 00:13:43,567 I'd like to put some tools in your toolkit. 362 00:13:43,568 --> 00:13:45,535 We're not the handiest couple, 363 00:13:45,536 --> 00:13:47,871 and Jill never seems to want to admit... 364 00:13:47,872 --> 00:13:49,639 Right there. 365 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:51,942 When you start a sentence with "you always" or "you never," 366 00:13:51,943 --> 00:13:53,143 it boxes the other person in. 367 00:13:53,144 --> 00:13:55,045 Instead, try beginning with, 368 00:13:55,046 --> 00:13:59,316 "When you blank, it makes me feel blank." 369 00:13:59,317 --> 00:14:01,284 I thought we were here to talk about Miles. 370 00:14:01,285 --> 00:14:03,820 The best thing you can do for your son 371 00:14:03,821 --> 00:14:07,457 is to work on connecting with each other. 372 00:14:07,458 --> 00:14:09,292 That makes a lot of sense. 373 00:14:09,293 --> 00:14:12,295 [upbeat instrumental music] 374 00:14:12,296 --> 00:14:14,297 ♪ ♪ 375 00:14:14,298 --> 00:14:15,465 Hi, Brooke. 376 00:14:15,466 --> 00:14:16,967 Hi. 377 00:14:16,968 --> 00:14:18,835 What's wrong? Are you okay? 378 00:14:18,836 --> 00:14:19,868 Come here. 379 00:14:21,839 --> 00:14:25,008 You've dealt with a lot of rejection in your life. 380 00:14:25,009 --> 00:14:28,812 Well, Lex just kicked me to the curb, literally. 381 00:14:28,813 --> 00:14:31,248 I don't know what's come over him. 382 00:14:31,249 --> 00:14:33,683 But I think it's connected to the man bun. 383 00:14:33,684 --> 00:14:35,252 You got to get out of the gray area. 384 00:14:35,253 --> 00:14:38,455 Either file for divorce or let him come back home. 385 00:14:38,456 --> 00:14:40,457 I don't know if I can. 386 00:14:40,458 --> 00:14:43,960 If Andy cheated on you, would you forgive him? 387 00:14:43,961 --> 00:14:45,295 I'd take a scythe 388 00:14:45,296 --> 00:14:46,930 and lop off his head with one clean blow 389 00:14:46,931 --> 00:14:48,365 and shit down his windpipe. 390 00:14:48,366 --> 00:14:50,367 So...no. 391 00:14:50,368 --> 00:14:53,503 I am the mother of the "shedonist" movement. 392 00:14:53,504 --> 00:14:55,038 I have a daughter. 393 00:14:55,039 --> 00:14:57,941 What kind of message would it send her if I took him back? 394 00:14:57,942 --> 00:14:59,843 You have two daughters, actually. 395 00:14:59,844 --> 00:15:01,645 Right. Langley. 396 00:15:01,646 --> 00:15:04,180 Thank you. You're so wise. 397 00:15:04,181 --> 00:15:06,349 It's weird, I don't think of you that way, 398 00:15:06,350 --> 00:15:08,018 even though you're so much older. 399 00:15:08,019 --> 00:15:09,619 Thanks. 400 00:15:09,620 --> 00:15:12,622 [upbeat instrumental music] 401 00:15:12,623 --> 00:15:14,623 ♪ ♪ 402 00:15:18,496 --> 00:15:21,498 [TV theme music] 403 00:15:21,499 --> 00:15:24,334 ♪ ♪ 404 00:15:24,335 --> 00:15:26,703 [Andy and Jill moaning] 405 00:15:26,704 --> 00:15:29,205 Hey, you. What's going on in there? 406 00:15:29,206 --> 00:15:30,640 What? Just keep going! 407 00:15:30,641 --> 00:15:31,641 Shh! 408 00:15:31,642 --> 00:15:32,876 I want us to connect. 409 00:15:32,877 --> 00:15:35,745 You're inside me... 410 00:15:35,746 --> 00:15:37,480 balls deep. 411 00:15:37,481 --> 00:15:40,350 How much more connected could we be? 412 00:15:40,351 --> 00:15:41,818 You know what I mean. 413 00:15:41,819 --> 00:15:43,253 Dr. Baldwin said we're supposed to be 414 00:15:43,254 --> 00:15:44,821 working on connecting. 415 00:15:44,822 --> 00:15:47,190 What? Just... Can't we keep boning? 416 00:15:47,191 --> 00:15:49,392 - Forget it. - No! 417 00:15:49,393 --> 00:15:52,529 Well, now we just wasted half our shtup. 418 00:15:52,530 --> 00:15:54,864 Does that count? 419 00:15:54,865 --> 00:15:56,066 You don't get it. 420 00:15:56,067 --> 00:15:58,034 Remember what Dr. Baldwin said: 421 00:15:58,035 --> 00:15:59,936 "Communication is everything." 422 00:15:59,937 --> 00:16:01,371 Barf. 423 00:16:01,372 --> 00:16:03,606 You don't have to follow every rule verbatim. 424 00:16:03,607 --> 00:16:06,443 I mean, maybe the reason Miles is so oppositional 425 00:16:06,444 --> 00:16:08,044 is because you keep putting everything 426 00:16:08,045 --> 00:16:10,013 into perfect little Bento Boxes. 427 00:16:10,014 --> 00:16:11,081 Oh, really? 428 00:16:11,082 --> 00:16:12,749 The Japanese de-clutter book. 429 00:16:12,750 --> 00:16:14,184 The chore wheel. 430 00:16:14,185 --> 00:16:15,919 The connected sex. 431 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:17,287 I mean, you always... 432 00:16:17,288 --> 00:16:20,590 We're not supposed to say "you always." 433 00:16:20,591 --> 00:16:25,028 Please, let's use the tools in our new toolkit. 434 00:16:25,029 --> 00:16:27,597 [inhales and exhales] 435 00:16:27,598 --> 00:16:29,699 When you breathe... 436 00:16:29,700 --> 00:16:31,234 Yes? 437 00:16:31,235 --> 00:16:35,037 It makes me feel like ripping your face off. 438 00:16:36,874 --> 00:16:39,275 Okay. Okay. 439 00:16:39,276 --> 00:16:42,445 And when you don't take this seriously, 440 00:16:42,446 --> 00:16:45,281 it makes me question your maturity. 441 00:16:45,282 --> 00:16:47,317 [scoffs] 442 00:16:47,318 --> 00:16:48,485 Pfffffttt! 443 00:16:48,486 --> 00:16:50,453 The heir to the seven kingdoms 444 00:16:50,454 --> 00:16:53,423 still suckles... 445 00:16:53,424 --> 00:16:58,194 [characters moaning] 446 00:16:58,195 --> 00:17:01,965 [crowd roaring] 447 00:17:01,966 --> 00:17:03,933 [overlapping shouting continues] 448 00:17:03,934 --> 00:17:04,934 [blade swishes] 449 00:17:04,935 --> 00:17:06,169 Aah! 450 00:17:06,170 --> 00:17:09,838 [overlapping screams, commotion] 451 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:19,849 [upbeat instrumental music] 452 00:17:19,850 --> 00:17:21,851 - Whose fault is it? - Who gave Miles O.D.D.? 453 00:17:21,852 --> 00:17:23,586 Mr. and Mrs. Weber, 454 00:17:23,587 --> 00:17:26,489 I agreed to this emergency session because you were nervous 455 00:17:26,490 --> 00:17:29,125 about going into the snowstorm without support. 456 00:17:29,126 --> 00:17:31,928 But personalities are comprised of a myriad of factors. 457 00:17:31,929 --> 00:17:37,000 It's impossible to isolate a single root cause. 458 00:17:37,001 --> 00:17:38,868 - So whose fault is it? - Well, who gave it to him? 459 00:17:38,869 --> 00:17:41,171 ["Bad to the Bone" ring chime] 460 00:17:41,172 --> 00:17:43,540 Sorry, it's my best friend. She keeps calling. 461 00:17:43,541 --> 00:17:44,674 I'm getting worried. 462 00:17:44,675 --> 00:17:46,342 Is everything okay? 463 00:17:46,343 --> 00:17:48,678 I just finished season three of "Game of Thrones"! 464 00:17:48,679 --> 00:17:49,946 Everybody's dead! 465 00:17:49,947 --> 00:17:52,449 There are bodies everywhere! 466 00:17:52,450 --> 00:17:54,017 Fetus carved out! 467 00:17:54,018 --> 00:17:55,285 It's a bloodbath! 468 00:17:55,286 --> 00:17:56,386 Vaness, it's not a good time. 469 00:17:56,387 --> 00:17:57,387 I'm in therapy. 470 00:17:57,388 --> 00:17:59,122 I need therapy! 471 00:17:59,123 --> 00:18:03,226 I need deep analysis, and I'm sending the bill to HBO! 472 00:18:03,227 --> 00:18:04,494 Okay, 473 00:18:04,495 --> 00:18:07,664 calm down, it's just a TV show. 474 00:18:07,665 --> 00:18:08,665 How dare you? 475 00:18:08,666 --> 00:18:09,666 Okay, I... 476 00:18:09,667 --> 00:18:11,200 I got to go. 477 00:18:14,405 --> 00:18:17,640 So you were just about to tell us whose fault it is. 478 00:18:17,641 --> 00:18:19,909 No, I was telling your husband that it's starting to snow, 479 00:18:19,910 --> 00:18:22,045 and I need to get back to Katonah. 480 00:18:22,046 --> 00:18:23,413 You have my number. 481 00:18:23,414 --> 00:18:25,682 Call me if it's a real emergency. 482 00:18:25,683 --> 00:18:28,685 [upbeat instrumental music] 483 00:18:28,686 --> 00:18:29,852 ♪ ♪ 484 00:18:30,791 --> 00:18:32,225 [upbeat instrumental music] 485 00:18:32,226 --> 00:18:33,925 - Yes. - Really? 486 00:18:33,927 --> 00:18:34,927 Whoo-hoo! 487 00:18:34,928 --> 00:18:36,796 B-von-Dubs in the house! 488 00:18:36,797 --> 00:18:37,830 You made it! 489 00:18:37,831 --> 00:18:39,632 Welcome, we have Sushi Seki, 490 00:18:39,633 --> 00:18:42,268 we have Sette Mezzo takeout with extra-white truffle shavings, 491 00:18:42,269 --> 00:18:44,170 and we have a case of bubbly. 492 00:18:44,171 --> 00:18:45,371 To freedom. 493 00:18:45,372 --> 00:18:47,006 To freedom. 494 00:18:47,007 --> 00:18:50,376 OMG, I need to switch my Tinder to my bikini-bronze pics. 495 00:18:50,377 --> 00:18:51,711 And so do you! 496 00:18:51,712 --> 00:18:53,146 Give me your phone, I'll hook you up. 497 00:18:53,147 --> 00:18:54,213 I'm not doing that. 498 00:18:54,214 --> 00:18:55,348 Wait, you're freaking out. 499 00:18:55,349 --> 00:18:56,716 She's freaking out. 500 00:18:56,717 --> 00:18:58,518 Listen, I know you think this is the hard part, 501 00:18:58,519 --> 00:19:00,553 but it's not... Your old life was the hard part. 502 00:19:00,554 --> 00:19:02,455 My asshole ex was schtupping our nutritionist 503 00:19:02,456 --> 00:19:03,990 one week after we went Paleo, okay? 504 00:19:03,991 --> 00:19:04,991 One week. 505 00:19:04,992 --> 00:19:06,225 Do you think he ever apologized? 506 00:19:06,226 --> 00:19:07,393 Apologized? 507 00:19:07,394 --> 00:19:09,729 I found my ex boning a Latvian hooker 508 00:19:09,730 --> 00:19:11,230 in my son's race-car bed! 509 00:19:11,231 --> 00:19:12,999 And he calls me psychotic. 510 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,534 They're all dickheads. 511 00:19:14,535 --> 00:19:17,136 Lex was banging his assistant for God knows how long, 512 00:19:17,137 --> 00:19:18,838 then he humiliated you at your own benefit, 513 00:19:18,839 --> 00:19:21,641 and has he ever apologized? 514 00:19:21,642 --> 00:19:23,070 Yeah, actually. 515 00:19:23,077 --> 00:19:26,212 He has. Many times. 516 00:19:26,213 --> 00:19:27,980 Really? 517 00:19:27,981 --> 00:19:31,884 Yeah, he's offered to go to counseling together, 518 00:19:31,885 --> 00:19:35,321 he sent me jewelry and flowers every day for months, 519 00:19:35,322 --> 00:19:37,590 he's written me love poems. 520 00:19:37,591 --> 00:19:40,927 He made me a flash mob YouTube video, 521 00:19:40,928 --> 00:19:45,063 and, well, he gave me seed money for my new company. 522 00:19:46,667 --> 00:19:49,502 I think I better go. 523 00:19:49,503 --> 00:19:52,505 [ethereal instrumental music] 524 00:19:52,506 --> 00:19:56,776 ♪ ♪ 525 00:19:56,777 --> 00:19:58,711 Lex Von Weber. With an open heart, 526 00:19:58,712 --> 00:20:00,513 I accept your truth. [machine beeps] 527 00:20:00,514 --> 00:20:03,683 Lex, it's me, and you're right. 528 00:20:03,684 --> 00:20:05,718 I took your love for granted. 529 00:20:05,719 --> 00:20:09,288 Joy Green would say I haven't been shining my light onto you. 530 00:20:09,289 --> 00:20:11,524 But I promise to do better, 531 00:20:11,525 --> 00:20:13,559 and if you still love me, 532 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:17,096 meet me at our blizzard suite at the Waldorf. 533 00:20:17,097 --> 00:20:20,800 ♪ ♪ 534 00:20:20,801 --> 00:20:23,269 The cold front from California's El Nino 535 00:20:23,270 --> 00:20:25,271 essentially made love to a tornado 536 00:20:25,272 --> 00:20:26,873 when they collided over Kansas. 537 00:20:26,874 --> 00:20:29,575 You know, Dr. Baldwin can kiss my thass. 538 00:20:29,576 --> 00:20:33,112 She gave us ten minutes when our son is in crisis. 539 00:20:33,113 --> 00:20:35,548 Yeah, and how's she supposed to calm people down 540 00:20:35,549 --> 00:20:37,416 when she's hysterical over a little snow? 541 00:20:37,417 --> 00:20:40,052 Yeah, I mean, is it me, or did things get worse 542 00:20:40,053 --> 00:20:41,721 every time we went to see her? 543 00:20:41,722 --> 00:20:44,056 Totally, and it seemed like she actually enjoyed seeing us 544 00:20:44,057 --> 00:20:45,391 turn on each other. 545 00:20:45,392 --> 00:20:46,959 Yeah, we never fought like that before 546 00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:48,294 we started seeing her, did we? 547 00:20:48,295 --> 00:20:49,495 No, we were fine. 548 00:20:49,496 --> 00:20:52,064 Miles was messed up, but we were fine. 549 00:20:52,065 --> 00:20:54,967 I say, "If it works broke, don't fix it." 550 00:20:54,968 --> 00:20:57,436 We could get snowdrifts as tall as... 551 00:20:57,437 --> 00:20:59,438 Honey, do you realize what we're doing right now? 552 00:20:59,439 --> 00:21:00,907 Don't say it. You're gonna ruin... 553 00:21:00,908 --> 00:21:01,908 We're connecting. 554 00:21:01,909 --> 00:21:04,110 Yep, you ruined it. 555 00:21:04,111 --> 00:21:07,113 [dramatic instrumental music] 556 00:21:07,114 --> 00:21:11,949 ♪ ♪ 557 00:21:11,950 --> 00:21:15,756 sync and correction by solfieri www.addic7ed.com