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<span style="color:white;">BIRDS SING</span>

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<span style="color:white;">MUSIC: The Touch by Stan Bush</span>

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<span style="color:white;"># You got the touch... #</span>

4
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<span style="color:white;">So...</span>

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<span style="color:white;">Nestonbury, we meet again.</span>

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<span style="color:white;"># You got the power...</span>

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<span style="color:white;"># Yeah! #</span>

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<span style="color:white;">HIGH PITCHED BUZZING</span>

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<span style="color:white;"># You got the touch. #</span>

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<span style="color:white;">TRIBAL DRUMMING</span>

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<span style="color:white;">..you think the same freedom applies</span>

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<span style="color:white;">to somebody who has an unendurable,</span>
<span style="color:white;">in their judgment, condition?</span>

13
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<span style="color:yellow;">Would you fuck Paxman?</span>

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<span style="color:cyan;">Repeatedly.</span>

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<span style="color:#11FF11;">Really?</span>

16
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<span style="color:#11FF11;">I thought you liked cool guys</span>
<span style="color:#11FF11;">with...tattoos.</span>

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<span style="color:cyan;">Oh, I do... </span><span style="color:#11FF11;">(Oh, thank God.)</span>

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<span style="color:cyan;">..but Paxman is another level.</span>

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<span style="color:yellow;">Mmm. </span><span style="color:cyan;">The whole quizmaster vibe,</span>

20
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<span style="color:cyan;">how he never backs down when</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">he knows he's right.</span>

21
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<span style="color:yellow;">And you know he's packing heat.</span>

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<span style="color:cyan;">That's why they give him such</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">a big desk.</span>

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<span style="color:white;">PAXMAN: You are a lover. Borrow</span>
<span style="color:white;">Cupid's wings and soar with them.</span>

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<span style="color:white;"># You got the touch</span>

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<span style="color:white;"># You got the power. #</span>

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<span style="color:white;">All right, dickheads.</span>

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<span style="color:#11FF11;">Oh...my...God...</span>

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<span style="color:#11FF11;">Kent effing Blackwell!</span>

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<span style="color:white;">All right, mate - lose the hard-on.</span>
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Sorry.</span>

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<span style="color:white;">Alison.</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">That's where my sunglasses went!</span>

31
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<span style="color:white;">Nah. Caught these in Brizzle.</span>

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<span style="color:white;">That's what we call Bristol, there.</span>

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<span style="color:white;">Sarah.</span>

34
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<span style="color:yellow;">What? </span><span style="color:white;">OK.</span>

35
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<span style="color:white;">Anyway...I'm moving back.</span>

36
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<span style="color:yellow;">Right, so being a DJ</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">worked out, then?</span>

37
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<span style="color:white;">Yeah, totally fucking worked out.</span>

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<span style="color:yellow;">So much so you've come back home?</span>

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<span style="color:white;">Yeah. </span><span style="color:#11FF11;">Wow.</span>

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<span style="color:#11FF11;">A real live DJ living in Nestonbury.</span>

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<span style="color:white;">I know, mate. Get used to it.</span>
<span style="color:white;">HE LAUGHS</span>

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<span style="color:white;">Come for the old room back.</span>

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<span style="color:#11FF11;">Mate, you can stay</span>
<span style="color:#11FF11;">as long as you like.</span>

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<span style="color:yellow;">Oh, he can, can he?</span>

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<span style="color:#11FF11;">Er, it's my shop too!</span>

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<span style="color:white;">Chill out, Alan Sugar.</span>

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<span style="color:white;">I can pay the rent.</span>

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<span style="color:white;">Soon as I get my job back</span>
<span style="color:white;">at Bird Zone.</span>

49
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<span style="color:cyan;">Will they have you back, though?</span>

50
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<span style="color:cyan;">Didn't you give a pelican some acid?</span>

51
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<span style="color:white;">Yeah.</span>

52
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<span style="color:white;">Tried to fuck a buzzard.</span>
<span style="color:white;">HE SNORTS</span>

53
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<span style="color:white;">MUSIC: Party Up by DMX</span>

54
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<span style="color:white;"># Woo!</span>
<span style="color:white;">Y'all gon' make me lose my mind</span>

55
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<span style="color:white;"># Up in here, up in here</span>

56
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<span style="color:white;"># Y'all gon' make me go... #</span>

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<span style="color:#11FF11;">Things are going to be</span>
<span style="color:#11FF11;">so epic now Kent's back.</span>

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<span style="color:yellow;">You are such a gimp for him.</span>

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<span style="color:#11FF11;">No.</span>

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<span style="color:#11FF11;">He's my oldest friend and he's</span>
<span style="color:#11FF11;">always had my back.</span>

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<span style="color:yellow;">Like that time he melted all</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">your Warhammer figures?</span>

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<span style="color:#11FF11;">Yeah, to teach me how sad they were.</span>

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<span style="color:cyan;">Look, Kent's all right.</span>

64
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<span style="color:cyan;">You're just being all Dawson's Creek</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">about it because you two...</span>

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<span style="color:yellow;">Were fucking pissed and it</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">didn't mean anything.</span>

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<span style="color:cyan;">OK...</span>

67
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<span style="color:#11FF11;">Any change, then?</span>

68
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<span style="color:white;">From a tenner?</span>

69
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<span style="color:#11FF11;">That's fine.</span>

70
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<span style="color:white;">Mmm...</span>

71
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<span style="color:white;">So what have you chumps been up to?</span>

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<span style="color:white;">Still coming here every night and</span>
<span style="color:white;">doing the pub quiz on a Thursday?</span>

73
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<span style="color:yellow;">No. The...</span>

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<span style="color:yellow;">pub quiz was cancelled because...</span>

75
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<span style="color:yellow;">a lot of the same questions</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">started coming up. </span><span style="color:#11FF1

76
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<span style="color:#11FF11;">Mostly about Nazis.</span>

77
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<span style="color:cyan;">Even the music round.</span>

78
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<span style="color:yellow;">And the picture round.</span>
<span style="color:#11FF11;">And the...</span>

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<span style="color:#11FF11;">Nazi round.</span>

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<span style="color:white;">So, just kicking round</span>
<span style="color:white;">the shop, then?</span>

81
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<span style="color:white;">Thought you were going to India?</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">I am.</span>

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<span style="color:yellow;">I'm just saving up.</span>
<span style="color:white;">KENT SNORTS</span>

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<span style="color:white;">Obviously doesn't want to go, then.</span>
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Obviously.</span>

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<span style="color:yellow;">Yeah, fucking do, actually.</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">Especially now you're back. </span><span style="co

85
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<span style="color:white;">Well, to get my decks I sold pills.</span>

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<span style="color:white;">Probably a bit hardcore for you,</span>
<span style="color:white;">though. </span><span style="color:#11FF11;">Yea

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<span style="color:yellow;">No.</span>

88
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<span style="color:yellow;">No, I'm...I'm well hardcore.</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">I'd...I'd sell pills.</span>

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<span style="color:yellow;">I just don't know anyone that</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">could, like, hook me up.</span>

90
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<span style="color:cyan;">I do. Want me to text my dealer?</span>

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<span style="color:yellow;">No, no, no - don't worry about it.</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">It's cool... </span><span style="color:cya

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<span style="color:yellow;">Brilliant.</span>
<span style="color:white;">KENT LAUGHS</span>

93
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<span style="color:white;">Got to through with it now. </span><span style="color:yellow;">Yeah.</span>

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<span style="color:yellow;">Sooner the better, mate.</span>

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<span style="color:#11FF11;">Whoa, whoa, come on, guys.</span>

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<span style="color:#11FF11;">It's the first time we've all been</span>
<span style="color:#11FF11;">together in over a year.</span>

97
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<span style="color:#11FF11;">We should celebrate that.</span>

98
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<span style="color:#11FF11;">With a proper old-school</span>
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Neston big one.</span>

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<span style="color:white;">MUSIC: Bangarang by Skrillex</span>

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<span style="color:white;"># Still ain't got my marbles. #</span>

101
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<span style="color:white;">Great night. </span><span style="color:#11FF11;">Great night.</span>

102
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<span style="color:yellow;">Classic Neston.</span>

103
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<span style="color:cyan;">Standard.</span>

104
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<span style="color:white;"># Still ain't got my marbles. #</span>

105
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<span style="color:white;">Oh, come on, mate.</span>
<span style="color:white;">It's only fucking Bird Zone.</span>

106
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<span style="color:white;">All right, Jason. Bye.</span>

107
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<span style="color:white;">Twat.</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">Got your job back, then?</span>

108
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<span style="color:white;">They want me to come in for an</span>
<span style="color:white;">interview, which is bollocks,</span>

109
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<span style="color:white;">cos I know for a fact that Danny's</span>
<span style="color:white;">got his GCSE mocks coming up,</span>

110
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<span style="color:white;">so they definitely need cover.</span>

111
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<span style="color:#11FF11;">Well, they'd be lucky to have you.</span>

112
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<span style="color:white;">Thanks, mate. </span><span style="color:cyan;">All right, Morph.</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">A new needle's

113
00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:40,440
<span style="color:cyan;">I say new - I got it off eBay</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">so it might be a bit wonky.</span>

114
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<span style="color:#11FF11;">OK. What?</span>

115
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<span style="color:cyan;">And it's going in your spine so</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">breathe in. </span><span style="color:#11FF11;">A

116
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<span style="color:#11FF11;">Nyyaaah....</span>

117
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:51,920
<span style="color:white;">HE STRAINS AGAINST THE PAIN</span>

118
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<span style="color:white;">'Morpheus...'</span>

119
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<span style="color:white;">'Morpheus...'</span>

120
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<span style="color:white;">'..listen...'</span>

121
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<span style="color:white;">THUNDER ROLLS</span>

122
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<span style="color:white;">'Morpheus!'</span>

123
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<span style="color:#11FF11;">Aargh!</span>

124
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<span style="color:white;">Greetings, Morpheus.</span>

125
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<span style="color:#11FF11;">(Sean Bean!)</span>

126
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<span style="color:white;">No. Not actually Sean Bean.</span>

127
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<span style="color:white;">I am your subconscious mind,</span>

128
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<span style="color:white;">manifesting itself into the</span>
<span style="color:white;">form you trust the most.</span>

129
00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:39,840
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Makes sense.</span>

130
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<span style="color:white;">I am your spirit guide.</span>

131
00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:45,560
<span style="color:white;">And I have a gift from the</span>
<span style="color:white;">spirit world.</span>

132
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<span style="color:#11FF11;">Really?</span>

133
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<span style="color:white;">Come closer.</span>

134
00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:52,480
<span style="color:white;">Don't be shy.</span>

135
00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:56,480
<span style="color:white;">Come closer.</span>

136
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<span style="color:#11FF11;">Agh!</span>

137
00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:00,400
<span style="color:#11FF11;">What was that?</span>

138
00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:02,280
<span style="color:white;">A wake-up call, lad.</span>

139
00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:05,440
<span style="color:white;">You've been a right donkey about</span>
<span style="color:white;">this Alison lass.</span>

140
00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:07,440
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Don't... Don't have feelings</span>
<span style="color:#11FF11;">for Alison.</span>

141
00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:09,280
<span style="color:white;">So you've never dreamed</span>
<span style="color:white;">about taking her to</span>

142
00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:11,840
<span style="color:white;">the top of the Empire State building</span>
<span style="color:white;">on Valentine's Day,</span>

143
00:06:11,840 --> 00:06:14,440
<span style="color:white;">waiting till everyone's gone</span>
<span style="color:white;">and then losing your virginity</span>

144
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:15,960
<span style="color:white;">up against the 10 pence telescope?</span>

145
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:17,840
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Hey, I-I lost my virginity</span>
<span style="color:#11FF11;">when I was 15.</span>

146
00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:19,400
<span style="color:white;">You can't lie to me, lad.</span>

147
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:20,600
<span style="color:white;">I'm in your head, Morpheus.</span>

148
00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:24,400
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Yeah, well, you weren't there then,</span>
<span style="color:#11FF11;">because I was on my French exchange.</spa

149
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:26,680
<span style="color:white;">Look, I think we've got off on</span>
<span style="color:white;">the wrong foot.</span>

150
00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:30,680
<span style="color:white;">Take a stump.</span>

151
00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:45,280
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Ah...</span>
<span style="color:white;">This tattoo you're getting -</span>

152
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:46,920
<span style="color:white;">what's it even of? </span><span style="color:#11FF11;">It's a...</span>

153
00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:49,800
<span style="color:#11FF11;">1:5000 scale map of</span>
<span style="color:#11FF11;">the land of Westeros.</span>

154
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:50,840
<span style="color:white;">Why you getting that?</span>

155
00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:53,120
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Because I like Game Of Thrones.</span>

156
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,360
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Obvs. </span><span style="color:white;">Well, you're pussyfooting</span>
<span style="color:white;">around it,

157
00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:58,160
<span style="color:white;">If you want a shot with this Alison</span>
<span style="color:white;">you've got to be more assertive.</span>

158
00:06:58,160 --> 00:06:59,480
<span style="color:white;">You know? Confident.</span>

159
00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:00,600
<span style="color:white;">Like Paxman.</span>

160
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:02,440
<span style="color:#11FF11;">What is it with everyone and Paxman?</span>

161
00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:04,400
<span style="color:white;">Just something about him.</span>

162
00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:07,000
<span style="color:white;">He never backs down when</span>
<span style="color:white;">he knows he's right.</span>

163
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:10,680
<span style="color:white;">And you know he's packing heat.</span>

164
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,880
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Sean?</span>

165
00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:14,000
<span style="color:#11FF11;">(Can I call you Ned?)</span>

166
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,120
<span style="color:white;">Fuck off.</span>

167
00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:16,360
<span style="color:#11FF11;">No...</span>

168
00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:17,400
<span style="color:#11FF11;">No, wait, Sean...</span>

169
00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:19,160
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Sean...</span>

170
00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:20,960
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Sean!</span>

171
00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:22,120
<span style="color:#11FF11;">SEAN!</span>

172
00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:23,680
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Sean!</span>

173
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:26,440
<span style="color:cyan;">Oh, shit - I've written "Sean" now.</span>

174
00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:28,640
<span style="color:white;">MUSIC: Dr Greenthumb by Cypress Hill</span>

175
00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:31,000
<span style="color:white;"># Hello my name is Dr Greenthumb</span>
<span style="color:cyan;"># Hello</span>

176
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:33,160
<span style="color:white;"># I'd like to tell you</span>
<span style="color:white;">just where I'm from</span>

177
00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:34,520
<span style="color:white;"># In the hills... #</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">So...</span>

178
00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:36,360
<span style="color:yellow;">what's the name of this</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">dealer, anyway?</span>

179
00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:37,640
<span style="color:cyan;">Supplier.</span>

180
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:39,880
<span style="color:cyan;">He deals to the dealers.</span>

181
00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:41,240
<span style="color:cyan;">His shit's so pure</span>

182
00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:43,200
<span style="color:cyan;">they call him The Holy Man.</span>

183
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:44,240
<span style="color:yellow;">OK.</span>

184
00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:47,080
<span style="color:yellow;">And what's the punishment, again,</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">if you're caught selling pills?</span>

185
00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:48,120
<span style="color:cyan;">Dunno about the police,</span>

186
00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:50,360
<span style="color:cyan;">but when my mum caught me she made</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">me eat all of them.</span>

187
00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:52,200
<span style="color:cyan;">With her.</span>
<span style="color:white;">DOORBELL RINGS</span>

188
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:53,320
<span style="color:cyan;">At Glastonbury.</span>

189
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,240
<span style="color:yellow;">You know,</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">I...I might just wait outside.</span>

190
00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:58,200
<span style="color:yellow;">You know?</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">Keep watch, in case there's a...</span>

191
00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:00,960
<span style="color:yellow;">raid. </span><span style="color:cyan;">You get your shit together!</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">Yeah, sorry

192
00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:04,760
<span style="color:cyan;">I am taking a big risk, bringing you</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">here, so just...be cool.</span>

193
00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:06,200
<span style="color:yellow;">Be...cool.</span>

194
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:10,200
<span style="color:yellow;">Got it.</span>

195
00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:16,560
<span style="color:cyan;">Hi, June.</span>

196
00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:18,080
<span style="color:cyan;">We're here to see The Holy Man.</span>

197
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,320
<span style="color:#11FF11;">He's upstairs.</span>

198
00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:21,560
<span style="color:#11FF11;">CHRIS!</span>

199
00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:25,560
<span style="color:#11FF11;">ALISON'S HERE!</span>

200
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:34,960
<span style="color:white;">All right... </span><span style="color:cyan;">Hiya.</span>

201
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:36,120
<span style="color:cyan;">This is Sarah.</span>

202
00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:37,680
<span style="color:yellow;">What up?</span>

203
00:08:37,680 --> 00:08:39,040
<span style="color:white;">Oh...</span>

204
00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:41,240
<span style="color:white;">So you WERE serious about a...</span>

205
00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:43,440
<span style="color:white;">menage a...</span>

206
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,240
<span style="color:white;">..three. </span><span style="color:cyan;">No.</span>

207
00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:46,560
<span style="color:cyan;">Well, maybe.</span>

208
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:47,640
<span style="color:cyan;">Not now.</span>

209
00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:48,800
<span style="color:white;">Huh.</span>

210
00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:51,200
<span style="color:yellow;">Nice turtle.</span>

211
00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:53,320
<span style="color:white;">Nah.</span>

212
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,000
<span style="color:cyan;">She's looking to score.</span>

213
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:59,000
<span style="color:white;">Yeah, OK.</span>

214
00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:08,720
<span style="color:white;">It's...</span>

215
00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:11,600
<span style="color:white;">the only place Mum won't look.</span>

216
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:15,480
<span style="color:white;">FLESHLIGHT POPS</span>

217
00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:16,640
<span style="color:cyan;">You not got any pills left?</span>

218
00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,920
<span style="color:white;">No, no, we finished them,</span>
<span style="color:white;">didn't we? When we...</span>

219
00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:20,120
<span style="color:cyan;">At that christening.</span>

220
00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:22,160
<span style="color:white;">Mmm. </span><span style="color:cyan;">Mmm.</span>

221
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:23,920
<span style="color:yellow;">Oh...</span>

222
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:25,880
<span style="color:white;">Wasted trip.</span>

223
00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:27,280
<span style="color:white;">Want to smoke a spliff?</span>

224
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:28,760
<span style="color:cyan;">Boom.</span>

225
00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:30,240
<span style="color:yellow;">Boom.</span>

226
00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:34,240
<span style="color:white;">Boom.</span>

227
00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:36,960
<span style="color:white;">Erm, wait there.</span>

228
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:38,200
<span style="color:white;">Got to smoke it out the window</span>

229
00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:40,680
<span style="color:white;">otherwise she'll disconnect</span>
<span style="color:white;">my Sky box.</span>

230
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:44,680
<span style="color:yellow;">Oh.</span>

231
00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:50,440
<span style="color:yellow;">So what's the deal with you two?</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">Are you like...</span>

232
00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:51,480
<span style="color:yellow;">having sex?</span>

233
00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:52,880
<span style="color:cyan;">I wouldn't call it sex,</span>

234
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:54,680
<span style="color:cyan;">but fluids are exchanged.</span>

235
00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:57,720
<span style="color:white;">If you did want to get some pills,</span>

236
00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:00,720
<span style="color:white;">you could always find...</span>

237
00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:03,480
<span style="color:white;">..the stash.</span>

238
00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:04,920
<span style="color:yellow;">What's...</span>

239
00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:06,480
<span style="color:yellow;">the stash?</span>

240
00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,200
<span style="color:white;">Back in the '90s,</span>

241
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:12,200
<span style="color:white;">there was a festival,</span>
<span style="color:white;">down in Cox's Meadow, called...</span>

242
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:13,640
<span style="color:white;">..Orbital.</span>

243
00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:15,480
<span style="color:white;">No, wait - Orbital played there.</span>

244
00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:17,480
<span style="color:white;">Festival was called...</span>

245
00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:19,640
<span style="color:white;">The Chemical Brothers.</span>

246
00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:22,440
<span style="color:white;">Anyway, right,</span>
<span style="color:white;">there was this bunch of dealers.</span>

247
00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:25,960
<span style="color:white;">They wanted to knock out their</span>
<span style="color:white;">pills at the festival,</span>

248
00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:29,960
<span style="color:white;">but they knew they'd never get them</span>
<span style="color:white;">past security.</span>

249
00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:32,440
<span style="color:white;">So they formed a plan.</span>

250
00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:33,880
<span style="color:white;">One week before the festival,</span>

251
00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:36,120
<span style="color:white;">they went into the middle</span>
<span style="color:white;">of Cox's Meadow,</span>

252
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:39,880
<span style="color:white;">and buried this</span>
<span style="color:white;">fat stash of bangers,</span>

253
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,280
<span style="color:white;">right in the middle of the field.</span>

254
00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:43,760
<span style="color:white;">The festival...</span>

255
00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:46,160
<span style="color:white;">was built up around them.</span>

256
00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:49,640
<span style="color:white;">They bought their tickets.</span>

257
00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:51,360
<span style="color:white;">Walked straight in.</span>

258
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:55,200
<span style="color:white;">Planned to dig them up</span>
<span style="color:white;">and sell them.</span>

259
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:57,600
<span style="color:white;">(But they never dug them up.)</span>

260
00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:59,320
<span style="color:cyan;">Because they were murdered?</span>

261
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:02,400
<span style="color:white;">No. Cos they were murdered!</span>

262
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:03,880
<span style="color:yellow;">What?</span>

263
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:06,280
<span style="color:white;">Wait, no - that's what you</span>
<span style="color:white;">just said. No...</span>

264
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:10,280
<span style="color:white;">got mangled on some old speed -</span>
<span style="color:white;">forgot they'd done it.</span>

265
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,360
<span style="color:white;">Rumour has it...</span>

266
00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:16,360
<span style="color:white;">they're still buried there...</span>

267
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:27,000
<span style="color:white;">..waiting.</span>

268
00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:25,560
<span style="color:white;">So, let's talk Bird Zone.</span>

269
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:27,320
<span style="color:yellow;">Kent, I want to take you back,</span>

270
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,320
<span style="color:yellow;">but things at Bird Zone</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">are a bit different now.</span>

271
00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:31,600
<span style="color:yellow;">You can't just smoke weed in the</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">staffroom any more.</span>

272
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:34,600
<span style="color:white;">So it's just like an outside only</span>
<span style="color:white;">thing. </span><span style="color:yellow;">No,

273
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,080
<span style="color:yellow;">you're not allowed to be boxed.</span>

274
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:37,840
<span style="color:white;">What if you didn't see me get</span>
<span style="color:white;">stoned,</span>

275
00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:40,600
<span style="color:white;">and I got deodorant and shit?</span>

276
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,080
<span style="color:yellow;">I'd have to tell Carol.</span>

277
00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:43,560
<span style="color:white;">What happened to you, man?</span>

278
00:11:43,560 --> 00:11:45,840
<span style="color:white;">You're just sucking corporate</span>
<span style="color:white;">dick now.</span>

279
00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:48,280
<span style="color:yellow;">I want to vouch for you,</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">but after the Pelican thing...</span>

280
00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:51,400
<span style="color:white;">Jason, I didn't know it was acid.</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">You did though, didn't you?</span>

281
00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:53,840
<span style="color:yellow;">You told everyone you were going to</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">do it and you filmed it.</span>

282
00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:56,760
<span style="color:white;">Yeah, because it was fucking funny.</span>

283
00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:58,720
<span style="color:yellow;">Yeah, it was funny!</span>

284
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:00,680
<span style="color:white;">So are you going to give me them</span>
<span style="color:white;">shifts?</span>

285
00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:04,680
<span style="color:yellow;">I'll have to speak to Carol</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">about it.</span>

286
00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:08,360
<span style="color:white;">Fucking hell. Jason's turned</span>
<span style="color:white;">into a massive shaft.</span>

287
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:11,320
<span style="color:cyan;">You're taking the job though, right?</span>
<span style="color:white;">Making him sweat.</span>

288
00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:14,440
<span style="color:white;">Sarah wants a hand with them pills</span>
<span style="color:white;">anyway. What's all this?</span>

289
00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:17,320
<span style="color:cyan;">I'm resurrecting Neston's</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">premier pub quiz.</span>

290
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:20,520
<span style="color:cyan;">And I want all of you to come.</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">It is going to be insane.</span>

291
00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:24,520
<span style="color:cyan;">The first letter of every bonus</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">answer spells out a secret word.</span>

292
00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:27,720
<span style="color:white;">Star Wars?</span>

293
00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:30,920
<span style="color:cyan;">No.</span>

294
00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:33,760
<span style="color:white;">You know, Alison's not going to</span>
<span style="color:white;">shag you just because you're</span>

295
00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:35,400
<span style="color:white;">doing a pub quiz. </span><span style="color:cyan;">What?</span>

296
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:37,640
<span style="color:cyan;">Where the hell are you getting that</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">from?</span>

297
00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:40,200
<span style="color:white;">So, you are not doing this to</span>
<span style="color:white;">be like Paxman,</span>

298
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,920
<span style="color:white;">because you know she fancies Paxman?</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">No, that's gibberish.</span>

299
00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:46,920
<span style="color:white;">So, you're just doing a pub quiz for</span>
<span style="color:white;">no reason? </span><span style="color:cyan;">

300
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,640
<span style="color:white;">Are they new shoes?</span>

301
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,280
<span style="color:cyan;">Might be.</span>

302
00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:54,480
<span style="color:white;">For no reason?</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">For no reason!</span>

303
00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:58,480
<span style="color:white;">Come on, you silly sausage. Let's go</span>
<span style="color:white;">dig up some drugs from the past.</span>

304
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:05,920
<span style="color:white;"># Attention, please</span>
<span style="color:white;">Attention, please, motherfuckers. #</span>

305
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:13,560
<span style="color:white;">Can I just say? Digging is shit.</span>

306
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,880
<span style="color:white;">Did the Holy Man give any detail?</span>

307
00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:17,880
<span style="color:#11FF11;">He just said they were under</span>
<span style="color:#11FF11;">a tree.</span>

308
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:19,680
<span style="color:white;">Oh, for fuck's sake.</span>

309
00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:23,680
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Yeah, I know, but it's obviously</span>
<span style="color:#11FF11;">this one. </span><span style="color:white;">

310
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,200
<span style="color:yellow;">Oh, just shut up and keep digging.</span>

311
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:27,560
<span style="color:white;">It's all right for you,</span>
<span style="color:white;">you've got a spade.</span>

312
00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:31,240
<span style="color:white;">I've got this...dwarf</span>
<span style="color:white;">whatever that is.</span>

313
00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:33,640
<span style="color:yellow;">If we swap spades,</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">will you stop bitching?</span>

314
00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:37,480
<span style="color:white;">No, I'd rather keep bitching.</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">Yeah, guys, it's nearly six.</span>

315
00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:39,480
<span style="color:cyan;">It's time to wrap this up.</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">Why? </span><span style="color:cyan;">Pub quiz.</spa

316
00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:41,840
<span style="color:cyan;">You said you'd all come and watch</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">me be the quizmaster.</span>

317
00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:45,000
<span style="color:yellow;">Yeah, I only said that so you'd help</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">with the digging. </span><span style="col

318
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:48,120
<span style="color:cyan;">Alison, you love a quiz, don't you?</span>
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Er...</span>

319
00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:50,600
<span style="color:cyan;">I'll have to hurry you. </span><span style="color:#11FF11;">Don't know.</span>

320
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,960
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Is it any good? </span><span style="color:cyan;">Yes.</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">Come on, Kent, back me up

321
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:56,680
<span style="color:white;">Mmm...</span>

322
00:13:56,680 --> 00:14:00,680
<span style="color:cyan;">So, it's betrayal. You're just</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">a bunch of Lando Calrissians.</span>

323
00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:02,600
<span style="color:white;">Oh, easy, mate.</span>

324
00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:04,640
<span style="color:cyan;">I'm going to start walking</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">to the pub.</span>

325
00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:06,120
<span style="color:cyan;">And you've got a choice -</span>

326
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,640
<span style="color:cyan;">you can follow me or stay here on</span>

327
00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:12,640
<span style="color:cyan;">a fool's errand, digging up defunct</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">bangers from the '90s.</span>

328
00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:15,640
<span style="color:cyan;">Whatever you think is the right</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">thing to do.</span>

329
00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:19,640
<span style="color:white;">DRAMATIC MUSIC</span>

330
00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:29,520
<span style="color:white;">DRAMATIC MUSIC</span>

331
00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:33,880
<span style="color:white;">DRAMATIC MUSIC</span>

332
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:41,400
<span style="color:white;">DRAMATIC MUSIC</span>

333
00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:45,400
<span style="color:cyan;">You're never going to find them!</span>

334
00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:50,080
<span style="color:#11FF11;">They look gnarly. </span><span style="color:white;">'90s pills,</span>
<span style="color:white;">mate. Suppose

335
00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:53,960
<span style="color:yellow;">Some of them have got mould on them.</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">What kind of mould grows on Ecstasy?</span>

336
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:56,520
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Fucking trippy mould, mate.</span>

337
00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:59,080
<span style="color:yellow;">Look, guys, I'm not sure about this.</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">What if we kill someone?</span>

338
00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:01,400
<span style="color:yellow;">I don't think I could live with</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">that on my conscience.</span>

339
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,200
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Holy Man says you get over it.</span>

340
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:05,720
<span style="color:white;">Well, I bet you're fucking chuffed.</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">What?</span>

341
00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:09,720
<span style="color:white;">Well, you can't sell the pills, so</span>
<span style="color:white;">once again you can't go to India.</span>

342
00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:12,280
<span style="color:yellow;">Come on, Kenty, who's going to buy</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">these?</span>

343
00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:15,240
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Mick the Druid?</span>

344
00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:17,880
<span style="color:white;">He probably would, actually.</span>

345
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:20,680
<span style="color:cyan;">Came to your senses then?</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">Sorry, what?</span>

346
00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:22,800
<span style="color:cyan;">Oh, my fucking God, pub quiz!</span>

347
00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:25,880
<span style="color:yellow;">Oh, yeah. </span><span style="color:white;">Oh, yeah, totally.</span>

348
00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:27,680
<span style="color:cyan;">Fuck's sake, a pound in the pot.</span>

349
00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,760
<span style="color:yellow;">Why? You going to strip for us?</span>

350
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:32,400
<span style="color:white;">ALL: Sorry.</span>

351
00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:35,200
<span style="color:cyan;">Found them, then? </span><span style="color:#11FF11;">Yeah, just working</span>
<span style="color:#11FF11;">out wh

352
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,800
<span style="color:white;">Yeah, because your sister is being</span>
<span style="color:white;">a massive nerd about it.</span>

353
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,440
<span style="color:yellow;">Fuck off, they're covered in</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">mould.</span>

354
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:42,280
<span style="color:yellow;">You have no idea what they're going</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">to do to someone. </span><span style="colo

355
00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:45,080
<span style="color:yellow;">What? </span><span style="color:cyan;">If there's mould, there's</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">water, which

356
00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:47,720
<span style="color:cyan;">will have leached out and rendered</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">the tablets totally inert.</span>

357
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:50,080
<span style="color:yellow;">What are you saying?</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">Well, they've been there 20 years.</span>

358
00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,080
<span style="color:cyan;">I mean, they're complex long</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">chain molecules.</span>

359
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:53,840
<span style="color:cyan;">They would have completely</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">denatured.</span>

360
00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:55,680
<span style="color:cyan;">I mean, it's basic organic</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">chemistry.</span>

361
00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:57,080
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Wow, good knowledge.</span>

362
00:15:57,080 --> 00:16:01,080
<span style="color:cyan;">Yeah, well...</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">I know a lot of facts, Alison.</span>

363
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:05,960
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Well, are you sure they won't work,</span>
<span style="color:#11FF11;">like, a little bit? </span><span style="

364
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:09,040
<span style="color:cyan;">Watch. </span><span style="color:white;">Mate, don't even do that.</span>

365
00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:11,280
<span style="color:cyan;">Why, they're completely harmless.</span>

366
00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:13,800
<span style="color:yellow;">Right, that's enough now.</span>
<span style="color:#11FF11;">He seems pretty confident.</span>

367
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:15,800
<span style="color:cyan;">I'll show you confidence.</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">Here we go.</span>

368
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:18,880
<span style="color:cyan;">Bosh. Bosh. Bosh.</span>

369
00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:21,800
<span style="color:yellow;">Stop taking Ecstasy! </span><span style="color:cyan;">Shan't.</span>

370
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,520
<span style="color:cyan;">Bosh. </span><span style="color:white;">Mate, stop it. </span><span style="color:cyan;">You stop it!</span>

371
00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:28,440
<span style="color:cyan;">Bosh.</span>

372
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:32,440
<span style="color:cyan;">Bosh! </span><span style="color:white;">Jesus Christ.</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">Everyone calm down, yeah?</s

373
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:35,760
<span style="color:cyan;">They're not going to work.</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">I know the science.</span>

374
00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:38,640
<span style="color:cyan;">I read it on the British</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">Pharmacological Society website.</span>

375
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:41,840
<span style="color:cyan;">And I'll prove it.</span>

376
00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:45,840
<span style="color:white;">Morph, you're not holding your</span>
<span style="color:white;">phone.</span>

377
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:50,080
<span style="color:cyan;">I know.</span>

378
00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:52,920
<span style="color:cyan;">It's Chalky.</span>

379
00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:56,920
<span style="color:#11FF11;">That's a pint of coins, mate.</span>

380
00:16:57,040 --> 00:17:01,040
<span style="color:cyan;">Got it.</span>

381
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:02,960
<span style="color:cyan;">OK, guys, welcome.</span>

382
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:06,960
<span style="color:cyan;">My name is Morpheus and I'll be your</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">quizmaster this evening.</span>

383
00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:12,160
<span style="color:cyan;">Can I get a glass of water up here,</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">please?</span>

384
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:15,760
<span style="color:cyan;">Now, I appreciate the spirit, but</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">can we keep the team names clean?</span>

385
00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:16,960
<span style="color:cyan;">As I do have to read them out.</span>

386
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,200
<span style="color:cyan;">We could just about get away with</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">"Quiz In My Pants",</span>

387
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:20,640
<span style="color:cyan;">but new name, please, for -</span>

388
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:24,640
<span style="color:cyan;">"My name's Morpheus and I have</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">a boner, especially when I look at</span>
<span

389
00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:42,240
<span style="color:cyan;">Ah!</span>

390
00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:44,960
<span style="color:cyan;">That's better.</span>

391
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:48,280
<span style="color:cyan;">So, let's get started with</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">Round One.</span>

392
00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:51,160
<span style="color:white;">HE SLURS: </span><span style="color:cyan;">Round One.</span>

393
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:54,360
<span style="color:cyan;">Sorry, my tongue is hot, hot.</span>

394
00:17:54,360 --> 00:17:55,720
<span style="color:cyan;">Fuck it, Morph.</span>

395
00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:59,720
<span style="color:cyan;">Uh, I'll just check my notes.</span>

396
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,040
<span style="color:white;">SQUEAKY VOICE: Jeremy Paxman!</span>

397
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,040
<span style="color:cyan;">Won't be needing those.</span>

398
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,920
<span style="color:cyan;">I do it from...</span>

399
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:10,920
<span style="color:cyan;">Which capital city is</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">Manchester United?</span>

400
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,480
<span style="color:white;"># Eezer...</span>

401
00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:19,480
<span style="color:white;"># Eezer</span>

402
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:21,240
<span style="color:white;"># Eezer</span>

403
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:24,880
<span style="color:white;"># Eezer...</span>

404
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:28,440
<span style="color:white;"># Eezer Goode, Eezer Goode</span>
<span style="color:white;">He's Ebeneezer Goode</span>

405
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:32,360
<span style="color:white;"># Eezer Goode, Eezer Goode</span>
<span style="color:white;">He's Ebeneezer Goode</span>

406
00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:36,360
<span style="color:white;"># Eezer Goode, Eezer Goode</span>
<span style="color:white;">He's Ebeneezer Goode. #</span>

407
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:40,640
<span style="color:white;">HE MUMBLES "EEZER GOODE"</span>

408
00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:44,480
<span style="color:cyan;">Fucking hell.</span>

409
00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:48,480
<span style="color:cyan;">The Great Wall of China is</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">at which wall?</span>

410
00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:51,080
<span style="color:cyan;">Answer the question, you...</span>
<span style="color:white;">MIC BLEEPS</span>

411
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:54,880
<span style="color:white;">China, China. </span><span style="color:yellow;">Yeah.</span>

412
00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:57,400
<span style="color:cyan;">What is my grandmother's maiden</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">name?</span>

413
00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,760
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Morpheus.</span>

414
00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:03,280
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Morpheus.</span>

415
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:05,720
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Morpheus.</span>

416
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:07,960
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Morpheus.</span>

417
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,040
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Pull yourself together, lad.</span>

418
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:12,240
<span style="color:cyan;">I can't, Sean.</span>

419
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:14,280
<span style="color:cyan;">My head is broken.</span>

420
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:17,440
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Remember, what would Paxman do?</span>

421
00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:21,440
<span style="color:white;">DRAMATIC MUSIC</span>

422
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:27,200
<span style="color:white;">HE WHIMPERS</span>

423
00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:33,840
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Mate? </span><span style="color:cyan;">OK, this is a starter for 10.</span>

424
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,200
<span style="color:cyan;">Music Round.</span>

425
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:37,640
<span style="color:cyan;">Just a snippet.</span>

426
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:41,640
<span style="color:cyan;">Snippet. Music. Write it down.</span>

427
00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:46,200
<span style="color:white;"># No reason, just seems so pleasing</span>

428
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:50,640
<span style="color:white;"># Gonna make you, make you,</span>
<span style="color:white;">make you notice</span>

429
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:54,720
<span style="color:white;"># Gonna use my arms</span>

430
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:57,240
<span style="color:white;"># Gonna use my legs</span>

431
00:19:57,240 --> 00:19:59,840
<span style="color:white;"># Gonna use my style</span>

432
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:01,600
<span style="color:white;"># Gonna use my sidestep</span>

433
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:04,680
<span style="color:white;"># Gonna use my fingers... #</span>

434
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:06,080
<span style="color:cyan;">Gonna take this off now.</span>

435
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,040
<span style="color:white;"># My imagination. #</span>

436
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:11,200
<span style="color:cyan;">Come on. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.</span>

437
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:12,680
<span style="color:yellow;">What is happening? </span><span style="color:#11FF11;">Wow, wow.</span>

438
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:13,800
<span style="color:white;">SCREAMING</span>

439
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:15,000
<span style="color:white;">That's enough!</span>

440
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,480
<span style="color:white;">INDISTINCT SHOUTING</span>

441
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:18,520
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Take it away!</span>

442
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:20,240
<span style="color:yellow;">Oh, my God. It burns.</span>

443
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:21,520
<span style="color:cyan;">Where am I? Where am I?</span>

444
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,040
<span style="color:white;">Get in there now. Get in there.</span>

445
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:24,720
<span style="color:white;">You need to chunder right now.</span>

446
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:27,400
<span style="color:cyan;">No, Kent, I need to go out there and</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">tell the world how I feel.</span>

447
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:28,640
<span style="color:cyan;">I've never felt so in love.</span>

448
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:31,120
<span style="color:white;">Yeah, because you've had ten pills</span>
<span style="color:white;">from the '90s,</span>

449
00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:33,360
<span style="color:white;">and tried wanking off</span>
<span style="color:white;">in front of a pub.</span>

450
00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:35,200
<span style="color:cyan;">You're standing in the way of love,</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">mate.</span>

451
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,720
<span style="color:white;">I'm stopping you making a prick of</span>
<span style="color:white;">yourself.</span>

452
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:39,840
<span style="color:cyan;">Sarah's right about you.</span>

453
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:43,840
<span style="color:cyan;">You've never had my back,</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">have you? I'm going out there.</span>

454
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:48,680
<span style="color:white;">Tactical chunder, come on!</span>
<span style="color:white;">Let the demons out! </span><span style="color:cyan;">

455
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:52,160
<span style="color:white;">Throw up. </span><span style="color:cyan;">Never!</span>

456
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:55,720
<span style="color:white;">Go on, stare at the piss.</span>

457
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:57,240
<span style="color:white;">Let the piss do the work.</span>

458
00:20:57,240 --> 00:20:59,560
<span style="color:cyan;">This is a beautiful moment, Kent.</span>

459
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:01,440
<span style="color:cyan;">This is what I missed. </span><span style="color:white;">Right.</span>

460
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:03,240
<span style="color:white;">I'm going in manually.</span>

461
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:07,240
<span style="color:white;">HE GARGLES</span>

462
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:14,080
<span style="color:white;">What the fuck are you doing?</span>

463
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:17,720
<span style="color:cyan;">Bonding. I thought that was what we</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">were playing at.</span>

464
00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:19,600
<span style="color:white;">What?</span>

465
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:20,760
<span style="color:white;">Occupied!</span>

466
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:23,360
<span style="color:yellow;">Oh, sorry.</span>

467
00:21:23,360 --> 00:21:27,360
<span style="color:white;">Oh, wait, Jason.</span>
<span style="color:white;">Did you talk to Carol?</span>

468
00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:31,520
<span style="color:yellow;">Yeah. She said she'd...put you on</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">probation.</span>

469
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:34,080
<span style="color:white;">Probation? That's bullshit.</span>

470
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:37,200
<span style="color:yellow;">She says you're...unpredictable.</span>

471
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:40,320
<span style="color:white;">Where the fuck did she get that</span>
<span style="color:white;">from?</span>

472
00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:42,000
<span style="color:yellow;">I don't know.</span>

473
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,720
<span style="color:white;">HE RETCHES</span>

474
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:46,560
<span style="color:white;">There we go. Good boy.</span>

475
00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:50,560
<span style="color:white;">Tell her I'll think about it.</span>

476
00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:55,480
<span style="color:white;">There we go. OK. Easy. Easy.</span>

477
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:02,880
<span style="color:cyan;">So glad you're back, mate.</span>

478
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,320
<span style="color:white;">No India, then? </span><span style="color:yellow;">Nope.</span>

479
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:16,560
<span style="color:yellow;">I might just stay here,</span>
<span style="color:yellow;">pretend I'm a DJ.</span>

480
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:19,680
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Oh, I forgot you used to wear</span>
<span style="color:#11FF11;">bindis.</span>

481
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:23,680
<span style="color:yellow;">You kept that? </span><span style="color:white;">Yeah, for a roach.</span>

482
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:31,680
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Morph?</span>

483
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:33,800
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Fancy a hit?</span>

484
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:35,320
<span style="color:cyan;">No.</span>

485
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,720
<span style="color:cyan;">I'm flying through space at 1,000</span>
<span style="color:cyan;">miles an hour.</span>

486
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:40,400
<span style="color:#11FF11;">How about a blow back?</span>

487
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:41,560
<span style="color:#11FF11;">Come on.</span>

488
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:44,160
<span style="color:#11FF11;">I'll put the spliff into my mouth,</span>
<span style="color:#11FF11;">we press lips,</span>

489
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:48,160
<span style="color:#11FF11;">and I gently blow the smoke</span>
<span style="color:#11FF11;">into yours.</span>

490
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:53,480
<span style="color:cyan;">I will do that.</span>

