1 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:07,894 You do not have my permission to die. 2 00:00:07,948 --> 00:00:10,416 - Your brother has perished. - Julius is dead? 3 00:00:10,451 --> 00:00:13,318 My Uncle Julius was there always. 4 00:00:13,353 --> 00:00:14,919 - Are you gonna do something? - Oh, I'll do something. 5 00:00:14,954 --> 00:00:16,554 - I'm gonna fuck up... - CASSIE: Oh, my God! 6 00:00:16,590 --> 00:00:17,922 I am not gonna press charges. 7 00:00:17,957 --> 00:00:19,357 This is not up to you, Mr. Calloway. 8 00:00:19,393 --> 00:00:21,493 The people will forgo prosecution. 9 00:00:21,528 --> 00:00:24,429 I'd insist on therapy and community service for Mary Charles. 10 00:00:24,464 --> 00:00:26,063 There was a dashboard video from the truck. 11 00:00:26,099 --> 00:00:27,699 Your uncle ran the red light. 12 00:00:27,734 --> 00:00:29,434 The accident was Julius' fault. 13 00:00:29,469 --> 00:00:31,368 - Hey, Reggie. It's Tom Werner. - Hey, Tom. 14 00:00:31,404 --> 00:00:33,004 - What do you know about hockey? - Nothing. 15 00:00:33,039 --> 00:00:34,839 Listen, I'm coming down to Atlanta next week. 16 00:00:34,874 --> 00:00:36,908 I think we should talk about getting into business together. 17 00:00:36,943 --> 00:00:39,877 "With sympathy from Richard and Dihane Freeman." 18 00:00:39,913 --> 00:00:43,714 Atlanta philanthropists whose names are on every museum in town. 19 00:00:46,052 --> 00:00:49,419 ♪ 20 00:00:49,454 --> 00:00:51,855 [gunshot] MAN: Oh, yeah! 21 00:00:51,890 --> 00:00:53,223 [laughing] 22 00:00:53,258 --> 00:00:55,258 MISSY: Nice job, baby! 23 00:00:55,294 --> 00:00:57,961 MAN: Ho! Hoo! 24 00:00:57,996 --> 00:01:00,096 - That was something! - Thank you. 25 00:01:00,132 --> 00:01:02,598 - That's what I'm talking about. - Thank you, thank you. 26 00:01:02,634 --> 00:01:04,767 Beautiful! 27 00:01:04,803 --> 00:01:07,236 Where did you learn to shoot like that? 28 00:01:07,271 --> 00:01:08,538 The playground. 29 00:01:08,573 --> 00:01:10,506 Where he also learned facetiousness. 30 00:01:10,542 --> 00:01:12,442 [laughs] 31 00:01:12,477 --> 00:01:17,279 Hey, everybody, this Yankee over here got skills. 32 00:01:17,315 --> 00:01:18,781 - Yeah. - [laughs] 33 00:01:18,817 --> 00:01:20,649 Here we go. [Gunshot] 34 00:01:20,684 --> 00:01:23,385 What kind of people invite you shooting in a condolence letter? 35 00:01:23,420 --> 00:01:25,587 Rich people with shotguns. 36 00:01:25,622 --> 00:01:28,724 I thought I was coming here to watch y'all hunt some bears or something, 37 00:01:28,759 --> 00:01:31,827 not chase after some fucking farm pigeons in the mud. 38 00:01:31,863 --> 00:01:35,331 Hey, listen, these Freeman folks, they got to be important. 39 00:01:35,366 --> 00:01:37,699 They got seven black people holding rifles 40 00:01:37,735 --> 00:01:39,835 and I ain't seen one guy in an ATF jacket. 41 00:01:39,870 --> 00:01:42,704 Inviting people hunting is how some folks make friends down here. 42 00:01:42,740 --> 00:01:45,607 Stop acting like you knew that before they invited you. 43 00:01:45,642 --> 00:01:47,676 Southerners hear about a death in the family, 44 00:01:47,711 --> 00:01:49,310 they extend their hands. 45 00:01:49,346 --> 00:01:50,846 And their long-barreled weapons. 46 00:01:50,881 --> 00:01:52,848 When in Rome, do as the Romans do. 47 00:01:52,883 --> 00:01:55,449 When in Georgia, kill birds. 48 00:01:55,485 --> 00:01:56,817 - Duck, please. - Where? 49 00:01:56,853 --> 00:01:58,152 No, as in your head. 50 00:01:58,188 --> 00:01:59,620 I do not wish to Dick Cheney you. 51 00:01:59,655 --> 00:02:01,455 - [gunshot] - [cheering] 52 00:02:01,491 --> 00:02:03,491 Almost touched up your fade. 53 00:02:03,526 --> 00:02:06,160 You killed that bird like it owed you money. 54 00:02:06,196 --> 00:02:08,963 US Treasury bills which are worthless. 55 00:02:08,999 --> 00:02:10,460 Richard first took me here when we marched 56 00:02:10,461 --> 00:02:12,691 on Washington protesting the Vietnam War. 57 00:02:12,735 --> 00:02:15,035 It's amazing how gripping a shotgun 58 00:02:15,070 --> 00:02:17,838 can help you cope with your anger in a chaotic world. 59 00:02:17,874 --> 00:02:19,807 Oh, I'm quitting therapy and just doing this. 60 00:02:19,842 --> 00:02:22,376 Ain't no amount of cognitive insight helpful as pulling a trigger. 61 00:02:22,412 --> 00:02:24,311 If I shoot in the ground, will I strike oil? 62 00:02:24,346 --> 00:02:27,981 No, but you won't be the first person losing a foot trying. 63 00:02:28,017 --> 00:02:30,083 Make sure I'm far away when you try that. 64 00:02:30,119 --> 00:02:31,851 Hey, this family can't afford any ricochets. 65 00:02:31,887 --> 00:02:33,753 You know, for hundreds of years, a black man 66 00:02:33,789 --> 00:02:35,322 couldn't even own a gun in the South. 67 00:02:35,357 --> 00:02:37,891 That was then, but this is now. 68 00:02:37,927 --> 00:02:40,660 - CASSIE: Oh, here we go. - [Gunshots] 69 00:02:40,695 --> 00:02:43,663 - Dead bird dropping. - [Cheering] 70 00:02:46,301 --> 00:02:47,734 Oh! 71 00:02:47,769 --> 00:02:50,069 - Hey, what are you doing? - Finishing the kill. 72 00:02:50,104 --> 00:02:53,039 When you really get them spinning, they whistle. 73 00:02:53,074 --> 00:02:55,675 [whooshing] [laughs] 74 00:02:55,710 --> 00:02:57,410 Oh, yeah. 75 00:02:57,446 --> 00:02:59,078 Thank you so much for having us. 76 00:02:59,113 --> 00:03:00,379 Oh, you're very welcome. 77 00:03:00,415 --> 00:03:02,848 ♪ 78 00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:07,954 Well, well, well, Mr. Vaughn. 79 00:03:07,989 --> 00:03:10,456 I think that went well, well, well. 80 00:03:10,491 --> 00:03:11,958 Yeah. I would have to agree. 81 00:03:11,993 --> 00:03:14,793 You were like Bradley Cooper out there. 82 00:03:14,829 --> 00:03:16,164 You think? In the flick where he played 83 00:03:16,165 --> 00:03:17,850 the dude who won the war for America? 84 00:03:17,932 --> 00:03:19,798 - The sniper one? - Yeah, no, no, he didn't win that war. 85 00:03:19,834 --> 00:03:23,368 That war is still... regardless, great shooting. 86 00:03:23,403 --> 00:03:25,938 - Who knew? - It's basically just Call of Duty 87 00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:27,940 except the birds are helpless and they can't shoot back. 88 00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:31,944 We're gonna be tight with the Freemans now, Reggie. 89 00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:33,878 [sighs] Well, that's a good thing 90 00:03:33,913 --> 00:03:36,114 because Tom Werner called me. 91 00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:38,883 Hockey deal fell apart. Fucking Canadian people. 92 00:03:38,918 --> 00:03:40,618 Much more devious than anyone thinks. 93 00:03:40,653 --> 00:03:42,920 I mean, they will stab you in the fucking back. 94 00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:47,125 Okay, so the rich white guy let you down, but the rich black guy will not. 95 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:50,427 For the first time, I'm excited about Atlanta. 96 00:03:50,463 --> 00:03:53,931 Because this Atlanta, the Freemans' Atlanta, is an octopus. 97 00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:57,301 It's got its tentacles in publishing, finance, real estate. 98 00:03:57,336 --> 00:03:59,637 The Freemans' Atlanta is octopus Atlanta. 99 00:03:59,672 --> 00:04:01,973 The foundation Cam wants to start 100 00:04:02,008 --> 00:04:04,008 might have just bagged its first whale. 101 00:04:04,043 --> 00:04:06,843 So wait, is it a whale or is it an octopus? 102 00:04:06,879 --> 00:04:09,846 I just had a small climax just saying that. 103 00:04:09,882 --> 00:04:13,484 Well, I got some wet wipes in my glove box. 104 00:04:13,519 --> 00:04:14,951 I'm just saying that. 105 00:04:14,987 --> 00:04:17,754 ♪ Hey, hey, oh, I'm blind ♪ 106 00:04:17,789 --> 00:04:21,458 - ♪ To all those women, girl... ♪ - [laughing, chatting] 107 00:04:21,494 --> 00:04:26,229 - ♪ But I can, I can only see you... ♪ - Why would she do it? 108 00:04:28,033 --> 00:04:30,033 So, we've got honey roasted pheasant, 109 00:04:30,068 --> 00:04:32,435 pheasant in orange sauce, pheasant hash, 110 00:04:32,470 --> 00:04:34,037 and Mother Hubbard's White Lightning. 111 00:04:34,072 --> 00:04:36,105 - What's in that? - Pheasant. 112 00:04:36,141 --> 00:04:38,874 They've been hung at 50 degrees for three days 113 00:04:38,910 --> 00:04:41,610 for best taste and texture, then plucked, gutted, and prepared. 114 00:04:41,646 --> 00:04:44,213 Bridget, can I just get some chicken, please? 115 00:04:44,249 --> 00:04:45,814 Oh, sure, much more humane. 116 00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:48,151 It's not like a chicken is raised in a river 117 00:04:48,186 --> 00:04:50,486 of its own filth, then hung upside down by shackles 118 00:04:50,522 --> 00:04:53,622 connected by a rail that conveys it to a kill machine 119 00:04:53,658 --> 00:04:56,391 where a blade cuts its throat and it bleeds to death. 120 00:04:56,427 --> 00:04:58,694 And bon appétit, everybody. 121 00:04:58,729 --> 00:05:00,663 [all laughing] 122 00:05:00,698 --> 00:05:03,532 I don't understand how it can be enjoyable to take life. 123 00:05:03,568 --> 00:05:05,834 That's because in your line of work, you save life. 124 00:05:05,870 --> 00:05:08,203 But you in a bubble, so it's hard for you to see points of view. 125 00:05:08,238 --> 00:05:11,239 Actually, she's an MRI tech, so technically she scans life. 126 00:05:11,275 --> 00:05:13,975 Well, I ain't in that bubble and I don't understand hunting either. 127 00:05:14,010 --> 00:05:16,678 - Or fishing, as a matter of fact. - Fish don't feel no pain. 128 00:05:16,713 --> 00:05:19,681 How do you know? Are you a fish that has a hook in its mouth? 129 00:05:19,716 --> 00:05:22,650 They don't cry or whimper or scream and shit. 130 00:05:22,686 --> 00:05:25,753 They might. I mean, underneath water is muffled. You can't hear it. 131 00:05:25,789 --> 00:05:28,155 No, I saw a TV show. Their brains are too small for pain. 132 00:05:28,191 --> 00:05:30,658 If their brains are so small, then how come those TV fishermen 133 00:05:30,694 --> 00:05:32,760 need to have machines to help them find the fish? 134 00:05:32,796 --> 00:05:34,729 So you don't fish, but you watch fishing shows? 135 00:05:34,764 --> 00:05:37,198 No, I flip through on the way to something that ain't about death. 136 00:05:37,233 --> 00:05:38,733 Good for you, Mr. Sport Fisherman. 137 00:05:38,768 --> 00:05:40,668 You outsmarted an animal with the brain 138 00:05:40,704 --> 00:05:43,104 - the size of a marble. - Nobody fished here. 139 00:05:43,139 --> 00:05:44,838 You know, people don't like fish 140 00:05:44,873 --> 00:05:47,208 because they can't see the humanity in its face. 141 00:05:47,243 --> 00:05:50,578 In fact, it's impossible for you to see a fish's whole face at once. 142 00:05:50,613 --> 00:05:53,247 - This is true. - May I go? 143 00:05:53,282 --> 00:05:55,116 Oh, yes, Bridget. Thank you. 144 00:05:55,151 --> 00:05:57,050 ALLISON: Hunting, fishing, all they tell me 145 00:05:57,086 --> 00:06:00,854 is humanity hasn't progressed in 60,000 years, which is sad. 146 00:06:00,889 --> 00:06:03,456 I hate to contradict, but cavemen were stumbling around 147 00:06:03,492 --> 00:06:06,860 eating bark and bushes until they figured out how to kill shit. 148 00:06:06,895 --> 00:06:09,730 Cavemen didn't kill for sport. They honored the animals. 149 00:06:09,765 --> 00:06:12,132 Native Americans thanked the buffalo for giving them life. 150 00:06:12,167 --> 00:06:15,235 Yeah, then they put hot sauce on that shit and ate it. 151 00:06:15,270 --> 00:06:17,970 Part of our job in the 70 or 80 years that we're given 152 00:06:18,006 --> 00:06:21,874 is to nudge the boulder of human evolution a few inches up the hill. 153 00:06:21,909 --> 00:06:23,576 - Up what hill? Where? - No, no, Ma. 154 00:06:23,612 --> 00:06:25,311 This is her TED Talk. Go ahead, Allison. 155 00:06:25,347 --> 00:06:27,980 We do this by making ethical choices. 156 00:06:28,016 --> 00:06:29,240 We're kind to strangers. 157 00:06:29,241 --> 00:06:31,645 We're fair in our minds. We say please and thank you. 158 00:06:31,686 --> 00:06:33,886 We don't kill things that aren't trying to kill us. 159 00:06:33,921 --> 00:06:36,822 You know, this is a good topic for my podcast. 160 00:06:36,858 --> 00:06:38,658 Julius and I were gonna do a podcast, 161 00:06:38,693 --> 00:06:40,459 but I'm gonna do it in his memory. 162 00:06:40,494 --> 00:06:41,894 I... I purchased all the equipment. 163 00:06:41,929 --> 00:06:43,562 You need to come on and talk about this. 164 00:06:43,597 --> 00:06:45,164 She just talked about it and, trust me, 165 00:06:45,199 --> 00:06:46,398 more people are listening now. 166 00:06:46,433 --> 00:06:49,268 This is gonna be big, you watch. 167 00:06:49,303 --> 00:06:50,502 My eyes are peeled. 168 00:06:50,538 --> 00:06:52,471 [laughing] 169 00:06:52,506 --> 00:06:54,806 What'd you say in your thank-you note to the Freemans? 170 00:06:54,841 --> 00:06:56,941 - What thank-you note? - The thank-you note... 171 00:06:58,512 --> 00:07:00,646 You didn't write the Freemans a thank-you note? 172 00:07:00,681 --> 00:07:02,814 No, all I did was... was thank him. 173 00:07:02,849 --> 00:07:03,836 I hugged him thank you in the field, 174 00:07:03,837 --> 00:07:05,720 and then dapped him thank you at the lodge, 175 00:07:05,723 --> 00:07:07,418 and then I pounded him thank you in the parking lot. 176 00:07:07,453 --> 00:07:09,854 The man was... was thanked. It was a thorough thanking. 177 00:07:09,890 --> 00:07:11,823 You don't know what you're talking about. 178 00:07:11,858 --> 00:07:13,158 Yes, and he said, "You're welcome." 179 00:07:13,193 --> 00:07:14,659 Then he said, "The pleasure's all mine." 180 00:07:14,695 --> 00:07:16,294 Then he said, "Don't mention it." 181 00:07:16,329 --> 00:07:17,829 I thank him again, he's liable to shoot me. 182 00:07:17,864 --> 00:07:19,197 [all laugh] 183 00:07:19,232 --> 00:07:20,498 We didn't send a thank-you note. 184 00:07:20,533 --> 00:07:22,000 A: shocking. 185 00:07:22,035 --> 00:07:23,834 B: I ain't worried about you. 186 00:07:23,869 --> 00:07:25,503 When I bought you that stationery... 187 00:07:25,538 --> 00:07:28,105 I said thank you, yeah, and you were satisfied. 188 00:07:28,140 --> 00:07:30,474 I didn't have to write a thank-you note for the thank-you notes. 189 00:07:30,510 --> 00:07:32,643 - And that upset me. - Then why didn't you tell me that then? 190 00:07:32,679 --> 00:07:34,645 Because last Christmas you gave me the photo 191 00:07:34,681 --> 00:07:36,814 of the cat that said, "Don't sweat the small stuff." 192 00:07:36,849 --> 00:07:38,683 REGGIE: Right, so don't sweat the small stuff. 193 00:07:38,718 --> 00:07:40,818 - This isn't small stuff. - Then you write the thank-you note. 194 00:07:40,853 --> 00:07:42,886 You're closer by blood to the deceased. 195 00:07:42,922 --> 00:07:44,822 Wait, there are rules to this? 196 00:07:44,857 --> 00:07:46,289 The white people who wrote etiquette books 197 00:07:46,325 --> 00:07:47,891 had a great deal of time on their hands. 198 00:07:47,927 --> 00:07:49,893 And blood, but at least they were polite. 199 00:07:49,929 --> 00:07:52,196 What did you think the stationery was for? 200 00:07:52,231 --> 00:07:53,663 For my birthday. 201 00:07:53,699 --> 00:07:55,632 Write the note. 202 00:07:55,667 --> 00:07:57,300 If it'll shut her up, I'll write the damn note. 203 00:07:57,336 --> 00:07:59,035 [all laugh] 204 00:07:59,070 --> 00:08:00,870 [chatting] 205 00:08:00,905 --> 00:08:04,674 I love it when couples fight and I'm not in the couple. 206 00:08:04,710 --> 00:08:06,943 ♪ 207 00:08:13,084 --> 00:08:15,885 DR. ROYCROFT: I'm glad that you've decided to start attending 208 00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:17,754 your therapy sessions, Mary Charles. 209 00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:20,656 They have a much better chance of working when you're here. 210 00:08:20,691 --> 00:08:23,059 Well, I want to feel better. 211 00:08:23,094 --> 00:08:25,061 Also, it was either this or prison. 212 00:08:25,096 --> 00:08:26,929 That pisses me off, but... 213 00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:30,031 Well, tell me some of the things that piss you off. 214 00:08:30,067 --> 00:08:32,468 Oh, we only have 50 minutes, right? 215 00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:37,373 Okay... [clears throat] 216 00:08:37,408 --> 00:08:39,841 things that piss me off. 217 00:08:41,279 --> 00:08:43,445 My mother, birds, podcasts. 218 00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:45,748 What makes you think you're interesting? 219 00:08:45,783 --> 00:08:48,917 Uh, my mother's boyfriend when he drops knowledge 220 00:08:48,952 --> 00:08:52,187 'cause he... he thinks his money and... and success mean he's smart. 221 00:08:52,222 --> 00:08:54,289 People who say I'm Cam's sister 222 00:08:54,324 --> 00:08:58,026 when they should really say he's my brother 'cause I'm older. 223 00:08:58,061 --> 00:09:00,561 Public relations 'cause it sounded cool 224 00:09:00,597 --> 00:09:02,764 and it was actually my job 225 00:09:02,799 --> 00:09:05,866 until I turned into a public relations nightmare myself. 226 00:09:05,902 --> 00:09:07,769 Which is a disadvantage in that career. 227 00:09:07,804 --> 00:09:10,738 My brother 'cause he got the world-class talent 228 00:09:10,774 --> 00:09:12,440 and I got the neighborhood-class talent. 229 00:09:12,475 --> 00:09:15,075 You know what else pisses me off? Being a girl. 230 00:09:15,111 --> 00:09:17,779 Sometimes being a girl is just really shitty. 231 00:09:17,814 --> 00:09:19,146 Because I get these periods 232 00:09:19,182 --> 00:09:20,714 and not these little dainty periods 233 00:09:20,749 --> 00:09:22,116 where it's like drip-drop, drip-drop. 234 00:09:22,151 --> 00:09:26,287 I'm talking jugular-slitting blood flow. 235 00:09:26,322 --> 00:09:28,956 I got to wear diapers to bed. 236 00:09:28,991 --> 00:09:30,891 I'm not even 40! 237 00:09:30,927 --> 00:09:32,993 People who say they don't judge me for being gay, 238 00:09:33,029 --> 00:09:35,429 but secretly they do. My mother. 239 00:09:35,464 --> 00:09:37,831 People ask me why I have a Boston accent. 240 00:09:37,866 --> 00:09:39,633 That fucking pisses me off. 241 00:09:39,668 --> 00:09:41,735 Do you... I grew up in Dorchester. 242 00:09:41,770 --> 00:09:43,603 Sorry I didn't go to college 243 00:09:43,639 --> 00:09:46,005 and learn how to talk all proper like my brother Cam. 244 00:09:46,041 --> 00:09:47,641 I fucking raised this kid. 245 00:09:47,676 --> 00:09:49,943 He tells me 50 cents for a Coke. 246 00:09:49,978 --> 00:09:52,111 Who fucking does that? Yeah, I'll give you a little tune-up. 247 00:09:52,147 --> 00:09:54,948 This is the hand that God dealt me. 248 00:09:54,983 --> 00:09:58,351 I'm a lesbian who speaks like she's actually from 249 00:09:58,386 --> 00:10:00,253 where the fuck she's from. 250 00:10:00,288 --> 00:10:03,622 I'm from Dorchester. This is the way we talk. 251 00:10:03,658 --> 00:10:06,826 I hate women who stop being hot to me 252 00:10:06,862 --> 00:10:08,494 after I bang them five or six times. 253 00:10:08,529 --> 00:10:11,597 My father, fuck you, and also what's your name? 254 00:10:11,632 --> 00:10:15,133 My mother. Having to say these things to you. 255 00:10:15,169 --> 00:10:18,036 Myself. Is that enough? 256 00:10:18,072 --> 00:10:21,774 Do you think your mother would consider joining us for a session? 257 00:10:21,809 --> 00:10:23,709 No. 258 00:10:23,745 --> 00:10:25,344 Ask her. 259 00:10:26,847 --> 00:10:29,114 No, I'm good. 260 00:10:29,149 --> 00:10:31,583 ♪ 261 00:10:34,554 --> 00:10:36,054 What's taking so long? 262 00:10:36,090 --> 00:10:38,957 It has been a while since I wrote by hand. 263 00:10:38,993 --> 00:10:40,893 Everything looks like a ransom note. 264 00:10:40,928 --> 00:10:42,293 It is not that hard. 265 00:10:42,328 --> 00:10:43,895 Have you made a cursive Q recently? 266 00:10:43,930 --> 00:10:45,397 They're fucking intricate. 267 00:10:45,432 --> 00:10:47,699 I could have sent 35 emails by now. 268 00:10:47,734 --> 00:10:49,967 Yes, and that is the point. 269 00:10:50,003 --> 00:10:51,703 What word are you using that has a Q? 270 00:10:51,738 --> 00:10:53,805 This is the fifth piece of stationery, 271 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:55,306 which based on the price per sheet, 272 00:10:55,341 --> 00:10:59,010 means that this thank-you note cost $7.92. 273 00:11:00,780 --> 00:11:02,346 [sighs] 274 00:11:02,382 --> 00:11:04,481 "We fucked them birds up"? 275 00:11:04,517 --> 00:11:06,817 - Yeah, and? - "Get at me"? 276 00:11:06,852 --> 00:11:08,986 - Why not? - You're not talking to your homies. 277 00:11:09,022 --> 00:11:12,756 True, because nobody has talked to their homies since 1992. 278 00:11:12,792 --> 00:11:15,225 - I knew it was retro when I said it. - No, you didn't. 279 00:11:15,260 --> 00:11:18,261 How about "Yours warmly" or "With our very best"? 280 00:11:18,297 --> 00:11:20,497 And don't forget to cross out your printed name. 281 00:11:20,533 --> 00:11:23,366 - And why would I do that? - Because it says we're friends 282 00:11:23,402 --> 00:11:26,236 who don't need our printed names on the notes we pass between us. 283 00:11:26,271 --> 00:11:29,005 Why have the name, then? That's most of the cost of the stationery. 284 00:11:29,041 --> 00:11:30,607 That's why you have the names. 285 00:11:30,643 --> 00:11:32,375 Because it says we're refined 286 00:11:32,411 --> 00:11:33,944 and we know that in better homes 287 00:11:33,979 --> 00:11:35,345 there's personal stationery 288 00:11:35,380 --> 00:11:37,213 with raised letters and a watermark. 289 00:11:37,249 --> 00:11:39,950 - And trust me, they will check. - [sighs] Jesus. 290 00:11:39,985 --> 00:11:43,353 It's just like having a piano in your living room even if nobody plays. 291 00:11:43,388 --> 00:11:47,457 And a dictionary on a stand and original art. Never prints. 292 00:11:47,492 --> 00:11:49,358 Well, I will go for the art and the dictionary, 293 00:11:49,393 --> 00:11:51,293 but fuck the piano. That shit is expensive. 294 00:11:51,329 --> 00:11:53,128 A used Bosendorfer is 60K. 295 00:11:53,164 --> 00:11:55,465 - How much is art? - It's all a language. 296 00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:58,267 And people like the Freemans, they build a social set 297 00:11:58,302 --> 00:12:00,570 through an elaborate array of symbols and messages. 298 00:12:00,605 --> 00:12:03,405 [stammering] The man was twirling a dead bird. 299 00:12:03,441 --> 00:12:05,040 Yes, but with irony. 300 00:12:05,076 --> 00:12:06,641 And in his position, he can do that. 301 00:12:06,677 --> 00:12:09,044 He can be recreationally unsophisticated. 302 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:11,080 - But we can't? - Around them? 303 00:12:11,115 --> 00:12:12,714 Maybe one day, but not yet. 304 00:12:12,749 --> 00:12:14,316 And never in a thank-you note. 305 00:12:14,352 --> 00:12:15,417 Now, what stamp were you thinking of? 306 00:12:15,453 --> 00:12:16,952 One that sticks. 307 00:12:16,988 --> 00:12:18,487 Don't use the Louis Armstrong stamps. 308 00:12:18,522 --> 00:12:19,788 - Why not? - Too on the nose. 309 00:12:19,823 --> 00:12:21,923 - Coastal birds. - Which bird? 310 00:12:21,959 --> 00:12:23,625 I don't know what fucking bird. 311 00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:25,894 Missy, nobody's looking at the damn stamp. 312 00:12:25,929 --> 00:12:28,463 Reggie, this is the world I'm from. 313 00:12:28,499 --> 00:12:31,399 I know the rules like you know basketball or the streets. 314 00:12:31,434 --> 00:12:34,402 Everything is a test. We either pass or we don't. 315 00:12:34,437 --> 00:12:36,304 Pass for white? No, thank you. 316 00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:37,938 No, they can keep their Da Vinci Code bullshit. 317 00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:40,975 Reggie, baby, come on. 318 00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:43,244 We talk about this all the time, 319 00:12:43,279 --> 00:12:47,681 what we might do to accelerate our emergence into our destined lives. 320 00:12:47,717 --> 00:12:49,984 And now we're here. 321 00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:52,953 Do you want to be who you are 322 00:12:52,989 --> 00:12:56,289 or do you want to be who you want to be? 323 00:13:05,902 --> 00:13:08,301 What about that Q, though? 324 00:13:08,337 --> 00:13:10,004 Am I right? 325 00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:11,771 ♪ 326 00:13:11,806 --> 00:13:15,008 [laughs] I am not going to anybody's therapy. 327 00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:17,344 It's a session. One session. 328 00:13:17,379 --> 00:13:20,047 You call it a session, I call it an ambush. 329 00:13:20,082 --> 00:13:22,715 I know you think I'm to blame for all your troubles. 330 00:13:22,751 --> 00:13:24,451 Not all. Some. 331 00:13:24,486 --> 00:13:27,020 I just... I just want to talk it through. 332 00:13:27,055 --> 00:13:30,189 Talk what through? We talked it through. I'm through talking it through. 333 00:13:30,224 --> 00:13:33,125 I don't have to go there and take it in the neck from this lady, too. 334 00:13:33,161 --> 00:13:35,394 Why leave the house and pay for abuse 335 00:13:35,430 --> 00:13:37,797 - when you can get it right at home for free? - Forget I asked. 336 00:13:37,832 --> 00:13:39,532 See? Now that's what I'm talking about. 337 00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:41,868 There's progress. Living and learning. 338 00:13:41,903 --> 00:13:43,502 Maybe it won't be like that. 339 00:13:43,538 --> 00:13:45,337 - Excuse me? Were you saying something? - You know what? 340 00:13:45,373 --> 00:13:47,339 I'm just following Dr. Roycroft's orders. 341 00:13:47,375 --> 00:13:50,376 Everybody else is to blame, huh, Mary Charles? 342 00:13:50,411 --> 00:13:53,579 Everybody else in this world is fucked up except you. 343 00:13:53,614 --> 00:13:55,714 Not the whole world. 344 00:13:55,749 --> 00:13:58,917 You know, why don't you tell this fucking Dr. Rycroft 345 00:13:58,953 --> 00:14:00,886 or Roycroft or whatever the fuck her name is... 346 00:14:00,921 --> 00:14:03,354 that she doesn't need to work on you, okay? You're perfect. 347 00:14:03,390 --> 00:14:05,691 All she got to do is invite everybody else 348 00:14:05,726 --> 00:14:08,526 on this earth into her office. 349 00:14:08,562 --> 00:14:10,328 Good, yeah. I'll do that. 350 00:14:10,363 --> 00:14:12,831 Ma, if she's asking you to go 351 00:14:12,866 --> 00:14:15,266 and the doctor thinks it's a good idea for you to go, then maybe you should go. 352 00:14:15,302 --> 00:14:18,603 You know, I'm beginning to dislike your days off. 353 00:14:18,638 --> 00:14:20,771 I mean, aren't you a... a role model or something? 354 00:14:20,807 --> 00:14:22,574 Go talk to some fucking kids. 355 00:14:22,609 --> 00:14:25,543 Look, you got to go see this shrink because the judge said so. 356 00:14:25,579 --> 00:14:29,447 Fine. Go. But if she's making you think too much about something, 357 00:14:29,483 --> 00:14:32,783 just stop thinking about it, okay? Pray it off. 358 00:14:32,819 --> 00:14:35,285 Stop making it everybody else's business. 359 00:14:35,321 --> 00:14:37,955 Look, Mary Charles, you got a new hairstyle. You look good. 360 00:14:37,991 --> 00:14:40,257 - Thanks. Okay. - Move forward, you know? 361 00:14:40,292 --> 00:14:44,561 Okay, so we have pheasant chili, pheasant fajitas, 362 00:14:44,597 --> 00:14:47,765 and pheasant Parmesan hoagie. 363 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,633 How we still got pheasant left? 364 00:14:49,668 --> 00:14:52,269 Uh, you killed a lot of birds. 365 00:14:52,304 --> 00:14:55,239 ♪ 366 00:15:09,921 --> 00:15:12,055 Hi, I'm Cassie Calloway 367 00:15:12,090 --> 00:15:14,658 and welcome to the world premiere of my podcast 368 00:15:14,693 --> 00:15:16,292 in honor of my brother Julius, 369 00:15:16,327 --> 00:15:18,628 Things We Think That You Should Think, Too. 370 00:15:18,664 --> 00:15:20,016 With me I have my son, 371 00:15:20,017 --> 00:15:22,956 Atlanta basketball phenom Cameron Calloway, 372 00:15:23,034 --> 00:15:25,268 and his boo Allison Pierce, 373 00:15:25,303 --> 00:15:27,570 and captain of industry Da Chen Bao, 374 00:15:27,605 --> 00:15:29,138 who so happens to be my bae, 375 00:15:29,174 --> 00:15:31,974 and my proud lesbian daughter Mary Charles. 376 00:15:32,009 --> 00:15:35,578 Okay, we'll start by... Cam, can you please pull a question from the jar 377 00:15:35,613 --> 00:15:38,981 and tell us what you think we should think, too. 378 00:15:39,016 --> 00:15:40,362 - Okay, Ma. - No, no, no, 379 00:15:40,363 --> 00:15:41,890 you could call me Cassie in this forum. 380 00:15:42,053 --> 00:15:44,452 Not a chance. [Laughs] 381 00:15:44,488 --> 00:15:47,422 "Tell us something you swear you'd never tell another soul." 382 00:15:47,457 --> 00:15:49,024 Ooh, that's a good one. 383 00:15:49,060 --> 00:15:51,359 Ooh, these some good ass questions I made up. 384 00:15:51,395 --> 00:15:54,196 No, I'm not gonna tell you something I swore I would never tell another soul. 385 00:15:54,231 --> 00:15:55,497 Again, no one's listening. 386 00:15:55,532 --> 00:15:57,199 - You're listening. - Not really. 387 00:15:57,234 --> 00:15:59,534 Truthfully, I can't hear shit out of these head cans. 388 00:15:59,570 --> 00:16:02,103 Fucking Japanese, they made good shit for five minutes 389 00:16:02,138 --> 00:16:04,439 in the '80s, they've been dining out on it ever since. 390 00:16:04,474 --> 00:16:06,074 Okay, we'll... we'll come back to Cam. 391 00:16:06,109 --> 00:16:08,510 Uh, he's being a podcast diva right now. 392 00:16:08,545 --> 00:16:10,845 - Allison. - Okay, Mrs. Calloway. 393 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:13,681 Oh, you can call me Cassie. Oh, my God, you're so cute. 394 00:16:13,717 --> 00:16:16,784 Y'all should see her. She looks like a... a brown-skinned Care Bear. 395 00:16:16,820 --> 00:16:18,986 [laughs] 396 00:16:22,425 --> 00:16:24,859 "What's all this about... 397 00:16:29,498 --> 00:16:31,732 truffle butter?" 398 00:16:31,767 --> 00:16:35,469 I mean, why did younger people like yourself ruin truffles? 399 00:16:35,504 --> 00:16:37,170 Why are we doing this? 400 00:16:37,206 --> 00:16:40,574 Oh, no, you don't have to discuss your own butter. 401 00:16:40,610 --> 00:16:43,210 I mean, I respect your privacy. 402 00:16:43,246 --> 00:16:46,079 Let's focus on the general public's butter. 403 00:16:46,115 --> 00:16:48,381 When did the term "truffle butter" 404 00:16:48,416 --> 00:16:52,485 first be put into widespread use? Go. 405 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:54,687 Mom, are all your questions gonna be like this? 406 00:16:54,723 --> 00:16:57,624 - You know, my turn. - Mary Charles' turn. 407 00:17:00,262 --> 00:17:02,094 Hmm. 408 00:17:02,130 --> 00:17:04,997 When are we gonna talk about my father? 409 00:17:10,272 --> 00:17:13,539 Um, that question was not in the jar. 410 00:17:15,610 --> 00:17:17,910 We're gonna take a five-minute break. 411 00:17:17,945 --> 00:17:19,678 Black five or white five? 412 00:17:19,713 --> 00:17:22,982 - A black five. - Okay, see you tomorrow. 413 00:17:30,925 --> 00:17:33,058 Reggie. Reggie. 414 00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:35,059 Mm? Is it a spider? 415 00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:37,396 How did you spell Dihane in your thank-you note? 416 00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:40,098 How did I spell... oh, Missy, are you shitting me? 417 00:17:40,133 --> 00:17:42,367 No, I need to know. 418 00:17:42,403 --> 00:17:45,203 For fuck... I spelled it like you spell Diane. D-I-A-N-E. 419 00:17:45,238 --> 00:17:47,739 Shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit. 420 00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:50,275 Will you please stop saying shit? Shit is bad. 421 00:17:50,311 --> 00:17:53,678 It's D-I-H-A-N-E. 422 00:17:55,248 --> 00:17:56,447 That's "Dehiney." 423 00:17:56,482 --> 00:17:58,382 Don't put the paper in my face. 424 00:17:58,418 --> 00:17:59,984 I'm still in airplane mode. 425 00:18:00,020 --> 00:18:02,921 I knew that and I missed it when I saw it in your note. 426 00:18:02,956 --> 00:18:04,989 Fucking rich people, they name their kid Diane and they say, 427 00:18:05,025 --> 00:18:07,792 "You know what? We got to rich this up. Let's add a H to it." 428 00:18:07,827 --> 00:18:10,795 Because I had to deal with all your "get at me" shit. 429 00:18:10,830 --> 00:18:12,896 Okay, Missy, it's done, all right? 430 00:18:12,932 --> 00:18:15,165 Frankly, you add H to Diane, you're looking for trouble. 431 00:18:15,201 --> 00:18:17,301 And anyway, things in this world ain't perfect. 432 00:18:17,337 --> 00:18:18,602 It's the thought that counts. 433 00:18:18,638 --> 00:18:20,671 It is not the thought that counts. 434 00:18:20,707 --> 00:18:23,507 That is a well-known phrase for a reason because it's true. 435 00:18:23,543 --> 00:18:27,311 The thought does not count in matters of gratitude conveyance 436 00:18:27,346 --> 00:18:30,848 because the human species does not have the ability to mind read. 437 00:18:30,883 --> 00:18:32,950 Chen is working on it. He's got a lab in Eastern China. 438 00:18:32,985 --> 00:18:35,085 They can tell when monkeys are about to jerk off. 439 00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:38,521 There's an entire stationery industry, floral industry, 440 00:18:38,557 --> 00:18:41,358 greeting card industry that attests to the fact 441 00:18:41,393 --> 00:18:42,992 that the thought does not count. 442 00:18:43,027 --> 00:18:45,829 The thought is nothing. Nothing. 443 00:18:45,864 --> 00:18:47,870 Who... nobody sends greeting cards anymore, 444 00:18:47,871 --> 00:18:49,060 not even to their homies. 445 00:18:49,067 --> 00:18:51,267 And anyway, we both made the mistake. 446 00:18:51,302 --> 00:18:53,202 Which takes me to my third point. 447 00:18:53,238 --> 00:18:56,172 We're doomed as a power couple. We don't communicate. 448 00:18:56,207 --> 00:18:59,041 You know what? When you say communicate, you mean you tell me 449 00:18:59,077 --> 00:19:01,978 what to do and I do it and you tell me what to say and I say it. 450 00:19:02,013 --> 00:19:04,513 That is not communicating. That is "ventriloquating." 451 00:19:04,548 --> 00:19:06,682 Which you can't say because it isn't a word 452 00:19:06,717 --> 00:19:08,450 and you can't write because it has a Q. 453 00:19:08,486 --> 00:19:10,119 Okay, well, I'm communicating to you 454 00:19:10,154 --> 00:19:12,121 that I no longer want to communicate about this anymore. 455 00:19:12,156 --> 00:19:13,322 Good night. 456 00:19:15,092 --> 00:19:18,727 If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing right. 457 00:19:18,763 --> 00:19:21,463 Missy, I never thought it was worth doing. 458 00:19:21,499 --> 00:19:23,699 We're about to get divorced over a typo. 459 00:19:23,734 --> 00:19:26,134 We'll rewrite the note, drive it to their house, 460 00:19:26,169 --> 00:19:28,303 intercept the mailman, then make the switch. 461 00:19:28,338 --> 00:19:30,972 If by we, you mean you, good luck and don't get shot. 462 00:19:31,008 --> 00:19:32,640 Hopefully they don't notice the uncancelled stamp. 463 00:19:32,675 --> 00:19:34,675 Have you ever considered popping an Ativan? 464 00:19:34,711 --> 00:19:37,212 Because you have lost your mind. It is fine the way it is. 465 00:19:37,247 --> 00:19:40,215 It is not fine. It is a stain. 466 00:19:40,250 --> 00:19:43,151 It'll scream insincerity. It'll say we don't know 467 00:19:43,186 --> 00:19:45,720 or we don't care enough to spell the woman's name correctly, 468 00:19:45,755 --> 00:19:47,354 that we're just social climbers. 469 00:19:47,390 --> 00:19:48,723 It's a dumb name 470 00:19:48,758 --> 00:19:50,691 and we are just social climbers. 471 00:19:50,727 --> 00:19:52,560 - She can't know that. - Oh, she knows. 472 00:19:52,595 --> 00:19:54,762 And who the fuck invites somebody to shoot birds 473 00:19:54,798 --> 00:19:56,363 they don't even know after their uncle dies? 474 00:19:56,399 --> 00:19:58,599 Nobody knew those birds. 475 00:19:58,635 --> 00:20:00,435 Those are just anonymous birds 476 00:20:00,470 --> 00:20:01,936 out there bred to be shot. 477 00:20:01,971 --> 00:20:04,338 Enough, okay? Fuck the thank-you note. 478 00:20:04,373 --> 00:20:06,206 Fuck Richard and fuck Dehiney. 479 00:20:06,242 --> 00:20:08,542 I'm going back to bed. 480 00:20:13,782 --> 00:20:16,216 [sighs] Okay. 481 00:20:16,252 --> 00:20:17,952 We can do it in the morning. 482 00:20:17,987 --> 00:20:20,119 I am not rolling the dice on that. 483 00:20:20,155 --> 00:20:22,956 Mail comes next day in high net worth neighborhoods. 484 00:20:22,991 --> 00:20:26,827 Frequently early. And you took three hours to write the first draft. 485 00:20:28,263 --> 00:20:30,430 [rattling] 486 00:20:33,335 --> 00:20:36,369 Ma, it's 2:30 in the morning. What's up? 487 00:20:36,404 --> 00:20:39,138 Oh, this fridge is gonna kill me. 488 00:20:39,174 --> 00:20:41,907 Fridges don't kill people, Ma. 489 00:20:41,943 --> 00:20:44,610 People with noisy parents in the middle of the night kill people. 490 00:20:44,645 --> 00:20:46,245 I'm sorry, baby. 491 00:20:46,281 --> 00:20:49,215 When I get too old to climb the stairs, we'll switch. 492 00:20:49,250 --> 00:20:50,416 You can just take the elevator. 493 00:20:50,452 --> 00:20:51,951 We got a elevator? 494 00:20:51,987 --> 00:20:53,619 It's the door right next to Reggie's office. 495 00:20:53,654 --> 00:20:54,920 Oh, I never looked in there. 496 00:20:54,956 --> 00:20:56,822 [chuckles] What are you wanting? 497 00:20:56,858 --> 00:20:58,624 Anything without game bird. 498 00:20:58,659 --> 00:21:00,058 I hear you. Check the crisper. 499 00:21:00,094 --> 00:21:02,995 There's probably a moose head in there. 500 00:21:03,030 --> 00:21:05,097 [chuckles] Yeah. 501 00:21:11,138 --> 00:21:13,605 Ma, I'm worried about Mary Charles. 502 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:17,742 - Cam. - I know, it's not my business. 503 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:19,577 Except it is. 504 00:21:19,613 --> 00:21:22,647 And I am. 505 00:21:22,682 --> 00:21:26,083 Ma, we know my father is a deadbeat. 506 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:28,786 We don't even know who her father is. 507 00:21:28,822 --> 00:21:31,188 It's a question worth answering. 508 00:21:31,224 --> 00:21:33,257 No, it's not. 509 00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:36,127 And I'm running out of ways of asking you both not to ask me. 510 00:21:37,731 --> 00:21:40,431 Mary Charles been crazy her whole life. 511 00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:43,634 Maybe because you've been calling her crazy all her life. 512 00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:47,538 This feels different. Deeper. 513 00:21:47,573 --> 00:21:49,840 And maybe more dangerous. 514 00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:54,545 She's trying, Cassie. 515 00:21:54,580 --> 00:21:58,715 It killed her to ask you to come to her therapy, but she did it. 516 00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:00,450 I think you should go. 517 00:22:05,724 --> 00:22:07,758 You should call me Ma now. 518 00:22:17,569 --> 00:22:19,169 - Good. - Yeah? 519 00:22:19,204 --> 00:22:21,003 You don't sense rage in the penmanship? 520 00:22:21,039 --> 00:22:22,472 - No. - All right. 521 00:22:22,507 --> 00:22:24,907 Current cost of the thank-you note experiment... 522 00:22:24,943 --> 00:22:26,976 2,050. 523 00:22:27,011 --> 00:22:28,244 Hold the envelope for the wax. 524 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:29,979 Can't. Late for jousting class. 525 00:22:30,014 --> 00:22:33,015 Just hold the envelope. 526 00:22:33,051 --> 00:22:35,585 Ow! Motherfucker! 527 00:22:35,620 --> 00:22:37,352 I can't wait to mail this letter. 528 00:22:37,388 --> 00:22:40,222 ♪ 529 00:22:41,726 --> 00:22:45,061 Do you understand how much other shit I have to do? 530 00:22:47,398 --> 00:22:49,398 And we are a go. 531 00:22:49,433 --> 00:22:51,200 A go? Are you serious? 532 00:22:56,307 --> 00:22:58,607 Sir. How are you doing? 533 00:22:58,642 --> 00:23:00,675 Um, I wonder if we could ask a small favor. 534 00:23:00,711 --> 00:23:04,580 We're friends of the Freemans and that envelope 535 00:23:04,615 --> 00:23:08,416 we sent and then realized it has an embarrassing misspelling. 536 00:23:08,451 --> 00:23:11,219 Would it be okay if we swapped it out with this one? 537 00:23:11,254 --> 00:23:13,354 - No. - It's just a thank-you note. 538 00:23:13,389 --> 00:23:15,523 Do you know how often people ask me for the mail? 539 00:23:15,558 --> 00:23:18,126 Really? 'Cause where I'm from, most people try to dodge the mail. 540 00:23:18,161 --> 00:23:19,728 - Reggie. - No, no, listen, Officer. 541 00:23:19,763 --> 00:23:21,795 Postal Officer. We hate to ask. 542 00:23:21,831 --> 00:23:23,697 I mean, you have no idea how much we hate it, 543 00:23:23,733 --> 00:23:26,934 but thank-you notes are extremely important, apparently. 544 00:23:26,969 --> 00:23:29,270 - It's a federal crime. - Yeah, but it's a minor one. 545 00:23:29,305 --> 00:23:30,704 Right? Like a felony thank you. 546 00:23:30,740 --> 00:23:32,873 Theft of mail matter. I would lose my job 547 00:23:32,908 --> 00:23:34,975 and you would go to prison. You wouldn't flourish there. 548 00:23:35,011 --> 00:23:36,710 Sir, that is our mail. 549 00:23:36,746 --> 00:23:38,912 Not once you put it in the mailbox. 550 00:23:38,948 --> 00:23:40,313 See, then it's the mail. 551 00:23:40,349 --> 00:23:43,550 Okay, well, see how the handwriting matches? 552 00:23:43,585 --> 00:23:46,453 The cursive like that of a little Russian girl. 553 00:23:46,488 --> 00:23:49,156 Okay, I get it. This is your profession. 554 00:23:49,191 --> 00:23:51,258 You are a man of mail. 555 00:23:51,293 --> 00:23:54,761 So let's just say it's Christmas, huh? Merry Christmas. 556 00:23:54,796 --> 00:23:57,997 And now we have conspiracy to bribe a federal employee. 557 00:23:58,033 --> 00:24:00,800 No, no, no. This is just a Christmas gift for my letter carrier. 558 00:24:00,835 --> 00:24:01,968 - It's March. - An Easter gift. 559 00:24:02,003 --> 00:24:03,503 And I'm not your letter carrier. 560 00:24:03,539 --> 00:24:04,971 But that's my letter and you're carrying it. 561 00:24:05,006 --> 00:24:07,907 So, hey, happy Easter. Look, Jesus has arisen. 562 00:24:07,942 --> 00:24:10,977 Sir, if you stop now, I won't have you arrested. 563 00:24:11,012 --> 00:24:13,780 Only because I like your suede shoes. 564 00:24:15,050 --> 00:24:17,016 Missy, hey, hey, hey, hey, come here. 565 00:24:17,052 --> 00:24:18,785 We tried. The opera is over. 566 00:24:18,820 --> 00:24:20,987 We have lives. Let us resume leading them. 567 00:24:21,022 --> 00:24:23,923 Hey, and if you even suggest that we go home and write an apology note 568 00:24:23,958 --> 00:24:25,051 for the fucked-up thank-you note, 569 00:24:25,052 --> 00:24:26,804 I will never communicate with you again. 570 00:24:26,861 --> 00:24:28,093 - Go with the mailman. - No. 571 00:24:28,128 --> 00:24:29,328 Come clean to Richard and Dihane. 572 00:24:29,363 --> 00:24:30,663 Just throw yourself at their mercy. 573 00:24:30,698 --> 00:24:31,963 Missy, they will think we are insane. 574 00:24:31,999 --> 00:24:33,532 They will appreciate your concern. 575 00:24:33,568 --> 00:24:34,900 So why don't you go? 576 00:24:34,935 --> 00:24:36,669 Because it's cute coming from the husband. 577 00:24:36,704 --> 00:24:38,604 Men are allowed to be befuddled by these things, 578 00:24:38,639 --> 00:24:40,539 but coming from the wife, it's just pathetic. 579 00:24:40,575 --> 00:24:42,107 Now you're just making shit up 580 00:24:42,142 --> 00:24:43,609 and you're reinforcing a gender stereotype. 581 00:24:43,644 --> 00:24:45,777 Do you like receiving oral sex? 582 00:24:54,387 --> 00:24:55,687 [doorbell rings] 583 00:24:55,723 --> 00:24:57,288 Hey, look, you need to ease back. 584 00:24:57,324 --> 00:24:59,157 You all in my postal zone. 585 00:24:59,193 --> 00:25:01,859 I can't believe you turned down two bills. 586 00:25:01,894 --> 00:25:05,029 Frankly, moral choices are expensive. 587 00:25:05,064 --> 00:25:06,731 Here you are, Mr. Freeman. 588 00:25:06,766 --> 00:25:07,898 - Hey, Richard. - Beautiful house. 589 00:25:07,934 --> 00:25:09,234 Thanks, Jim. Hi, Reggie. 590 00:25:09,269 --> 00:25:11,402 - It's his now. - What's going on? 591 00:25:11,438 --> 00:25:13,705 You'll never believe this, but I... 592 00:25:13,740 --> 00:25:15,740 forgot to put a H in your wife's name. 593 00:25:15,775 --> 00:25:18,042 I feel terrible. Missy pointed it out. 594 00:25:18,077 --> 00:25:21,712 Hey, anyone ever told you don't sweat the small stuff? 595 00:25:21,748 --> 00:25:24,648 Hey, has anyone ever told you go fuck yourself? 596 00:25:24,683 --> 00:25:27,684 Oh, I just did. Good-bye. 597 00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:31,388 But I'm embarrassed and this is probably completely unnecessary... 598 00:25:31,423 --> 00:25:34,391 I'm glad you did it. I mean, it don't mean shit to me... 599 00:25:34,426 --> 00:25:37,227 - [laughs] - ... but Dihane is very sensitive. 600 00:25:37,263 --> 00:25:39,863 She thinks God is in the details, 601 00:25:39,898 --> 00:25:43,166 so this would have been worse than not getting a thank-you note at all. 602 00:25:43,201 --> 00:25:45,569 - May I? Here you go. - Yeah. 603 00:25:45,604 --> 00:25:48,438 Thank you so much. And, hey... [laughs] 604 00:25:48,474 --> 00:25:51,875 I will not let Dihane dwell on the lack of a postmark. 605 00:25:51,910 --> 00:25:54,844 But look at that, coastal birds. 606 00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:56,312 I think it's an osprey. 607 00:25:56,347 --> 00:26:00,216 I have never shot an osprey. You? 608 00:26:00,252 --> 00:26:02,852 - Uh... - Just kidding. 609 00:26:02,888 --> 00:26:04,754 [both laugh] 610 00:26:04,790 --> 00:26:07,523 Missy's in the bushes, isn't she? 611 00:26:07,558 --> 00:26:09,191 Yes, she is, Richard. 612 00:26:09,226 --> 00:26:10,593 Ain't marriage grand? 613 00:26:10,628 --> 00:26:12,728 It's a fucking shooting party. 614 00:26:12,764 --> 00:26:14,096 [laughs] 615 00:26:17,502 --> 00:26:19,402 - Well? - You were right. 616 00:26:21,339 --> 00:26:23,105 That's all I'm saying. 617 00:26:26,476 --> 00:26:28,743 ♪ 618 00:26:33,117 --> 00:26:34,850 [door opens] 619 00:26:43,193 --> 00:26:47,195 I expect to find two living human beings in here in an hour. 620 00:26:48,799 --> 00:26:50,699 [door closes] 621 00:27:14,189 --> 00:27:16,189 DIHANE'S VOICE: "Dear Missy and Reggie, 622 00:27:16,225 --> 00:27:19,426 just a short note thanking you for your lovely thank-you note. 623 00:27:19,462 --> 00:27:22,295 The pleasure was ours. You're both great people 624 00:27:22,331 --> 00:27:24,665 and we look forward to seeing much more of you. 625 00:27:24,700 --> 00:27:27,434 And once again, our deepest condolences 626 00:27:27,470 --> 00:27:31,171 at the passing of your beloved Uncle Julian." 627 00:27:32,474 --> 00:27:34,908 ♪ But you just can't win ♪ 628 00:27:37,179 --> 00:27:39,946 ♪ But you just can't win ♪ 629 00:27:42,150 --> 00:27:44,784 ♪ But you just can't win ♪ 630 00:27:44,785 --> 00:27:46,372 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -