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So Aristotle was Plato's student.
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And Aristotle believes
that your character
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- is voluntary,
- _
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because it's just the result
of your actions,
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which are under your control.
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For example, right now,
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you have made the insane choice
to ignore the person
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who is literally trying to
save you from eternal damnation.
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No, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm listening.
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Uh, I just...
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are we sure we should be paying
attention to these guys?
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It's like, who died and left
Aristotle in charge of ethics?
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Plato.
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[knock at door]
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Uh, coming!
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Uh, we're just... kissing.
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And groping?
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[mouths] What?
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Hello.
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Tahani.
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Hi. What brings you here?
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You know, I was just, uh,
in the neighborhood.
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[giggles] Do you get it, Eleanor?
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Because, you know, we're all
in the same afterlife,
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so, you know, I'm always
in the neighborhood.
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Do you get it?
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And I do, and it's delightful.
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Anyway, this is for you.
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Just a housewarming plant.
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It's a little reminder that if
there's ever anything
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that you need, I am right next door.
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How could I possibly forget?
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Have a great day, Tahani!
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Oh, all right.
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[door slams]
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Ugh. Tahani.
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[British accent] Welcome
to the neighborhood.
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Even though we all arrived here
at the same time,
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here's some dirt I put in a bowl
because I'm amazing.
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I thought it was kind of a nice gesture.
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Oh, Chidi.
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It's a total con.
I see through her little act.
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Her act of being a nice person
who brings you gifts?
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- Bingo.
- Okay.
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I'll... I'll remind you that
you're trying to learn
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how to be a good person.
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Maybe you should return the favor
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and bring her something.
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Oh, so now I'm supposed to
be nice and make friends
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- and treat her with mutual respect?
- Yeah.
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That exactly what she wants
me to do, Chidi, wake up!
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That... that's what everyone
wants everyone to do.
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Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
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_
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Hello, Chidi.
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No frozen yogurt for you this morning?
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Oh, uh, no, just, uh,
doing some reading.
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Ugh, been there, brother.
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Workin' hard or hardly workin',
am I right?
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Hump day.
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Uh, sorry.
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Janet's functioning as my assistant,
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but she's a little stiff,
so I've been trying to get her
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to be a little more casual
and conversational.
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I'll have what she's having.
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It's a work in progress.
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Listen, Chidi.
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I've been studying your file.
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You're a very interesting case.
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You essentially only did one
thing while you were on earth.
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You thought and wrote about ethics.
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Yes, I spent 18 years
working on my manuscript
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called "Who We Are
and Who We Are Not... colon...
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"Practical Ethics and Their Application
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in the Modern World...
semi-colon... a Treatise..."
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Yes, yes, yes, that's the one.
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That's the one.
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I think you should
experience new adventures.
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You know, do things that you
haven't done on earth, right?
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So why don't we meet tomorrow
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and try out some new hobbies.
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Uh, why not?
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I'll... I'll see you guys tomorrow.
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Not if I see you first.
Where's the beef?
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[chuckles]
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- I don't know.
- Hump day.
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[knocking]
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Hello, Eleanor.
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Jianyu, darling, look, it's
Eleanor from next door.
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Is he asleep?
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Yeah, there's really no way to tell.
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Come on in.
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What brings you to our home, my dear?
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Well, I'm simply repaying your kind gift
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with a housewarming gift of my own.
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Fresh pears.
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It's a plant, just like your gift,
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but you can actually eat them.
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So maybe it's a better gift.
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- Who's to say?
- That's so kind.
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However, in, um, Chinese culture,
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pears are actually a symbol of bad luck.
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And... and I wouldn't want
to offend Jianyu,
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so I'm afraid I'm gonna have to
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throw these in the garbage.
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But do come and sit down.
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We haven't even had a chance
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to discuss all of the mayhem
in our neighborhood yet.
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- It's so disconcerting.
- Yes.
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What do you think is causing it?
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Oh, I'm sure I don't know.
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But we must keep our heads up.
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In fact, tomorrow I'm actually
going door-to-door
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to make sure that every single person
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in this entire neighborhood
is keeping calm
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and carrying on.
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'Cause I think that helping
others will make me feel like
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I truly belong here, you know?
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Here's a brainstorm,
why don't I go with you?
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I mean, I would love to do my
part to help the neighborhood,
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not to mention, get a little
bonding time with you, lady.
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Oh, hurrah!
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Such fun.
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I'm telling you, Tahani's out to get me.
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What are you talking about?
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This note was slipped
under my door yesterday.
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It has to be Tahani.
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She just said to me, "I want to
feel like I truly belong here."
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Well, where have I seen
the word "belong" recently?
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Oh yeah, kaplow!
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I really don't think
she's the type of person
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who would write this.
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She is that kind of person
and she did write it.
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She wants everybody to think
she's such a perfect princess
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just 'cause she's tall
and glamorous and has
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cappuccino skin and curves everywhere...
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and now I'm complimenting her.
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And kind of turned on.
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The point is,
she straight up sucks, bro.
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[chiming]
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- Whoa.
- Typical Tahani.
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Brings us a faulty plant
so she can brag about
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being a better gardener.
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No, I think this is another way in which
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your negative actions affect this world.
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This plant represents
your relationship to Tahani,
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so when you're mean to her,
it starts to wilt.
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Well, then this plant is doomed,
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because tomorrow, I'm going with
her and I'm gonna prove to you
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and to everyone that she is
secretly a two-faced,
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calculating, phony bench.
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[weeping]
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Hmm. Yeah.
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Truth hurts, doesn't it, plant?
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So all I want to do is just check in,
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see how everyone's holding up.
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Just bring some cheer to
these extraordinary people.
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Cool.
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So tell me about yourself.
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I mean, I want to
hear it all, girlfriend.
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The good, the bad, the really bad,
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the embarrassing, the
humiliating, just... let's bond!
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Okay, well I was born in Pakistan,
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raised in London, schooled
in Paris, but I think
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the primary reason that I'm in
the Good Place is that
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I raised quite a lot of money
for non-profit groups.
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Oh.
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Did you ever, uh, skim a little
off the top for yourself?
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Gracious, no, no!
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Every penny was accounted for.
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And as I raised nearly $60 billion,
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there was quite a lot of pennies.
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[chuckles]
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But I also dabbled
in some other professions.
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I was a model, a museum curator,
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an "It Girl," and...
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00:06:40,705 --> 00:06:42,604
oh, I was Baz Luhrmann's
muse for a while.
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That was quite fun.
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Modeling? That's a crazy life.
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Want to tell me about that
rock bottom you probably hit?
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Oh, I didn't really do it for long.
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Couture just doesn't fit my body.
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I'm cursed with ample bosom.
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And yet you soldier on.
185
00:06:54,585 --> 00:06:55,784
Oh, this is silly...
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00:06:55,853 --> 00:06:58,686
so "Tahani" means
"congratulations" in Arabic.
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And "Al-Jamil" means "beautiful,"
188
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so my full name altogether means...
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"Congratulations, Beautiful."
190
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Thanks, Eleanor. You big flirt.
191
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[giggles]
192
00:07:09,132 --> 00:07:11,098
Hey, babe, got you coffee.
193
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Oh, great.
194
00:07:12,535 --> 00:07:14,134
Oh, Andy's Coffee, uh,
we shouldn't go there.
195
00:07:14,169 --> 00:07:15,669
Everybody's boycotting.
196
00:07:15,704 --> 00:07:18,037
Yeah, I know that one guy
found a scorpion in his latte.
197
00:07:18,106 --> 00:07:20,206
I don't really care, though,
'cause it's so close to here.
198
00:07:20,276 --> 00:07:22,643
No, no, no, it's because
he's sexually harassing people.
199
00:07:22,678 --> 00:07:24,944
Look, a journalist went
undercover for an interview
200
00:07:24,980 --> 00:07:26,012
and recorded him.
201
00:07:26,047 --> 00:07:27,714
Here, watch.
202
00:07:27,783 --> 00:07:29,349
Here's the thing, sweetheart.
203
00:07:29,385 --> 00:07:31,116
You're very qualified,
but you're also what we call
204
00:07:31,152 --> 00:07:33,719
in the coffee shop game
a, uh, "dog-face."
205
00:07:33,788 --> 00:07:35,954
You're a three, and you have to
be a nine to work here.
206
00:07:35,990 --> 00:07:37,222
It's just math.
207
00:07:37,292 --> 00:07:38,824
So I didn't get the job?
208
00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:40,159
[chuckles]
209
00:07:40,194 --> 00:07:43,296
No, dog-face, you didn't get the job.
210
00:07:43,331 --> 00:07:46,632
All right, I'll check your references.
211
00:07:46,768 --> 00:07:48,232
- Just to be nice...
- Hey, my breasts!
212
00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:50,902
I'll check 'em. Oh, they're good. Honk!
213
00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:53,170
I mean, this guy's a monster,
we can't support this guy.
214
00:07:53,239 --> 00:07:54,906
Okay, hey, you're not better than me
215
00:07:54,941 --> 00:07:57,909
just 'cause you won't support
a guy who grabbed a boob once.
216
00:07:57,944 --> 00:08:00,077
No, I'm just saying we
shouldn't go there.
217
00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:01,646
We can get coffee somewhere else.
218
00:08:01,681 --> 00:08:03,314
Did you know your left
reference is a little bit
219
00:08:03,349 --> 00:08:04,981
bigger than your right reference?
220
00:08:05,017 --> 00:08:07,017
It's not a bad thing,
it's just... it's a thing.
221
00:08:08,353 --> 00:08:10,754
This is the perfect hobby
for you, Chidi.
222
00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:11,855
Cartography.
223
00:08:11,924 --> 00:08:13,791
Your neighborhood stretches way beyond
224
00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:14,925
what you've already seen.
225
00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:17,861
And you can map it,
226
00:08:17,930 --> 00:08:19,630
revealing all of the mysteries,
227
00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:21,264
like an explorer.
228
00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:23,265
I see how that might be fun.
229
00:08:23,301 --> 00:08:25,635
Uh, but, uh, exploring makes me nervous.
230
00:08:25,670 --> 00:08:28,370
I have what doctor's call
"directional insanity."
231
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:30,773
I once got lost on an escalator.
232
00:08:30,809 --> 00:08:32,642
So not exactly Christopher Columbus.
233
00:08:32,677 --> 00:08:34,877
Fun fact: Columbus is in the Bad Place
234
00:08:34,946 --> 00:08:38,180
because of all the raping,
slave trade, and genocide.
235
00:08:38,215 --> 00:08:40,048
The fact that it makes you nervous
236
00:08:40,116 --> 00:08:42,016
is exactly why you should do it.
237
00:08:42,052 --> 00:08:43,652
You know, get out of your comfort zone.
238
00:08:43,687 --> 00:08:45,113
Become a trail-blazer.
239
00:08:45,138 --> 00:08:48,467
Fun fact: all deceased members
of the Portland Trail Blazers
240
00:08:48,492 --> 00:08:50,967
basketball team are also
in the Bad Place.
241
00:08:50,992 --> 00:08:52,126
[giggles]
242
00:08:52,162 --> 00:08:53,294
Yeah, sorry about this.
243
00:08:53,330 --> 00:08:55,696
I steered her away from colloquialisms
244
00:08:55,731 --> 00:08:58,666
and into "fun facts" and trivia tidbits.
245
00:08:58,701 --> 00:09:00,668
I thought it'd be
more in her wheelhouse.
246
00:09:00,703 --> 00:09:03,203
Fun fact: a "wheelhouse"
is a part of a boat.
247
00:09:03,238 --> 00:09:04,805
Okay, thank you, Janet, thank you.
248
00:09:04,841 --> 00:09:06,306
Fun fact: Janet is me.
249
00:09:06,342 --> 00:09:08,408
All right, let's forget about exploring.
250
00:09:08,478 --> 00:09:10,210
Plenty more ideas for hobbies.
251
00:09:10,245 --> 00:09:13,245
Let's walk back to town, shall we?
252
00:09:15,350 --> 00:09:17,016
- Wrong way.
- Yep.
253
00:09:18,753 --> 00:09:20,987
Well, Glenn, we just wanted to
make sure you were all right.
254
00:09:21,022 --> 00:09:22,822
Tahani, you're too sweet.
255
00:09:22,858 --> 00:09:24,357
Isn't she just the nicest person?
256
00:09:24,392 --> 00:09:25,424
Mm-hmm.
257
00:09:25,494 --> 00:09:27,259
That is what a lot of people are saying.
258
00:09:27,328 --> 00:09:28,995
Oh, everyone I know is saying that.
259
00:09:29,030 --> 00:09:31,062
Yeah, it's just a big neighborhood
260
00:09:31,098 --> 00:09:33,832
full of enormous mansions
and people who love Tahani!
261
00:09:33,868 --> 00:09:36,401
[both laughing]
262
00:09:36,436 --> 00:09:38,336
Eleanor and I just want to see
if there's anything
263
00:09:38,372 --> 00:09:39,437
we can do to help you.
264
00:09:39,507 --> 00:09:41,339
Oh, Tahani, you are so thoughtful.
265
00:09:41,375 --> 00:09:43,174
Despite all the chaos earlier,
266
00:09:43,210 --> 00:09:44,910
we simply couldn't be happier.
267
00:09:44,945 --> 00:09:46,844
Oh, I'm so glad to hear it, Cualli.
268
00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:48,345
Please take a maple butter scone.
269
00:09:48,381 --> 00:09:49,780
I made them fresh this morning.
270
00:09:49,849 --> 00:09:52,850
Oh, they look a bit burned.
271
00:09:55,054 --> 00:09:56,086
But they're not.
272
00:09:56,122 --> 00:09:58,766
Hmm. Oh, fork, that's good.
273
00:09:58,791 --> 00:10:00,925
Extra, extra!
274
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:03,093
Read all about you.
275
00:10:03,129 --> 00:10:05,727
Chidi, this is the
perfect hobby for you.
276
00:10:05,754 --> 00:10:06,996
- Journalism.
- _
277
00:10:07,032 --> 00:10:09,966
Well, obviously, I like to write.
278
00:10:10,001 --> 00:10:12,101
But I don't love deadlines.
279
00:10:12,137 --> 00:10:13,837
I prefer to take my time with things.
280
00:10:13,872 --> 00:10:15,004
Yes, I know.
281
00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:17,206
Uh, you never even named
your dog, did you?
282
00:10:17,275 --> 00:10:19,943
When it ran away,
you posted signs saying,
283
00:10:19,978 --> 00:10:22,110
"responds to long pauses."
284
00:10:22,146 --> 00:10:25,681
Look, Chidi, I'm just trying to
find you a hobby...
285
00:10:25,716 --> 00:10:29,117
the hat... that will bring you
a positive experience.
286
00:10:29,153 --> 00:10:30,385
What do you say?
287
00:10:30,455 --> 00:10:32,688
I'm loving that hat on you.
288
00:10:32,723 --> 00:10:34,389
It would look even better on my floor.
289
00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:36,291
What is happening now?
290
00:10:36,327 --> 00:10:39,293
I suggested she be friendlier;
she seems to have
291
00:10:39,329 --> 00:10:41,295
slipped right into overt sexuality.
292
00:10:41,331 --> 00:10:43,364
I got something you can slip into.
293
00:10:43,399 --> 00:10:45,900
- Oh...
- Janet, no!
294
00:10:45,969 --> 00:10:47,969
No, Janet.
295
00:10:49,172 --> 00:10:52,173
Oh, Jianyu, darling,
would you like some tea?
296
00:10:53,209 --> 00:10:54,842
That nod meant no, apparently.
297
00:10:54,877 --> 00:10:56,677
Well, it was nice to get out
and meet all of
298
00:10:56,712 --> 00:10:57,744
our wonderful neighbors.
299
00:10:57,813 --> 00:11:00,313
They all truly belong here.
300
00:11:00,349 --> 00:11:02,749
Oh, yes they do, cutie-pants.
301
00:11:02,818 --> 00:11:04,017
Boop!
302
00:11:04,052 --> 00:11:05,719
Well, I should really be going.
I have to begin
303
00:11:05,754 --> 00:11:07,220
my 12 step Korean skincare regiment,
304
00:11:07,255 --> 00:11:09,222
but, uh, I'll see... oh, no, no, no.
305
00:11:09,257 --> 00:11:11,191
Please stay and enjoy the evening tea.
306
00:11:11,226 --> 00:11:13,392
I'll see you soon.
307
00:11:13,427 --> 00:11:14,727
Boop!
308
00:11:29,075 --> 00:11:31,677
"The Diary of Tahani Al-Jamil."
309
00:11:33,213 --> 00:11:35,714
Okay. Arc welding.
310
00:11:35,749 --> 00:11:38,116
You could learn sculpture,
you can make furniture,
311
00:11:38,184 --> 00:11:40,018
you can get your hands
a little greasy, you know,
312
00:11:40,053 --> 00:11:41,019
and you make things.
313
00:11:41,054 --> 00:11:43,087
This equipment is very scary!
314
00:11:43,123 --> 00:11:45,723
Don't be a baby. It can't hurt you.
315
00:11:45,758 --> 00:11:47,858
Watch, I'll blowtorch your face off.
316
00:11:47,894 --> 00:11:49,727
- Janet.
- Whatever.
317
00:11:49,762 --> 00:11:51,428
This whole thing is stupid.
318
00:11:51,463 --> 00:11:52,596
Oh, brother.
319
00:11:52,632 --> 00:11:56,033
I told her to be less flirty
and now she's
320
00:11:56,068 --> 00:11:57,935
cruel and distant, apparently.
321
00:11:57,970 --> 00:11:59,202
I just can't get this right.
322
00:11:59,238 --> 00:12:01,471
Thank you for trying to
find me a new hobby.
323
00:12:01,541 --> 00:12:04,473
Um, but I just want to be an academic.
324
00:12:04,543 --> 00:12:08,310
I want to keep working on my manuscript.
325
00:12:08,379 --> 00:12:10,112
Chidi, here's the thing...
326
00:12:10,148 --> 00:12:14,417
see, I read your whole book,
all 3,600 pages of it.
327
00:12:14,452 --> 00:12:16,118
It's, um...
328
00:12:16,154 --> 00:12:17,219
how shall I put this?
329
00:12:17,255 --> 00:12:18,988
It's a mess, dude.
330
00:12:19,057 --> 00:12:21,423
- Hey!
- She's right.
331
00:12:21,458 --> 00:12:24,225
You see, Chidi, I can read the entirety
332
00:12:24,261 --> 00:12:26,394
of the world's literature
in about an hour.
333
00:12:26,430 --> 00:12:29,097
This took me two weeks to get through.
334
00:12:29,132 --> 00:12:31,499
I mean, it's so convoluted,
I just kept reading
335
00:12:31,569 --> 00:12:34,770
the same paragraph over and over
again, trying to figure out
336
00:12:34,805 --> 00:12:35,971
what the heck you were saying.
337
00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:36,971
Oh, no.
338
00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:38,973
I mean, on page 1,000,
339
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:41,943
you start section two with the sentence,
340
00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:45,145
"Of course, the exact opposite
might be true."
341
00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:47,481
You're a brilliant guy, Chidi.
342
00:12:47,516 --> 00:12:51,131
But you just kept revising and rewriting
343
00:12:51,156 --> 00:12:52,912
and adding words to your title.
344
00:12:52,937 --> 00:12:56,037
I think you just twisted
yourself up into a knot.
345
00:12:56,062 --> 00:12:58,792
I have a very bad stomachache.
346
00:12:59,266 --> 00:13:00,538
Hey, man.
347
00:13:00,563 --> 00:13:02,333
[door closes]
348
00:13:02,402 --> 00:13:03,467
What's wrong?
349
00:13:03,503 --> 00:13:05,136
Am I a good teacher?
350
00:13:05,171 --> 00:13:07,405
Am I clear? Do I make sense?
351
00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:08,907
Yeah, you're a great teacher.
352
00:13:08,942 --> 00:13:11,174
I'm super ethical now.
353
00:13:11,243 --> 00:13:12,475
- What's that?
- Hmm?
354
00:13:12,511 --> 00:13:15,512
Nah... don't worry about it.
355
00:13:16,782 --> 00:13:18,581
I stole Tahani's diary.
356
00:13:18,617 --> 00:13:21,285
So I could see if her
handwriting matches the note
357
00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:24,321
and also read about all
the mean and terrible things
358
00:13:24,356 --> 00:13:28,257
she's definitely done so I can
prove she's actually evil.
359
00:13:28,293 --> 00:13:31,327
[fire crackling]
360
00:13:31,362 --> 00:13:32,953
Huh.
361
00:13:33,798 --> 00:13:35,497
What do you think that means?
362
00:13:38,032 --> 00:13:40,657
You stole Tahani's diary.
363
00:13:40,682 --> 00:13:43,264
I know I broke some ethical rule,
but I had good reason.
364
00:13:43,289 --> 00:13:45,636
Eleanor, in order to be a good person,
365
00:13:45,672 --> 00:13:47,906
you have to do good things.
366
00:13:47,941 --> 00:13:49,941
And not stealing people's stuff,
that is just
367
00:13:49,977 --> 00:13:51,910
a basic kindergarten rule.
368
00:13:51,945 --> 00:13:55,217
I mean, do I also have to
tell you to not throw sand?
369
00:13:55,242 --> 00:13:57,881
First of all, throwing sand is an
excellent way to put out a vodka fire.
370
00:13:57,906 --> 00:13:59,136
Why would you even know that?
371
00:13:59,161 --> 00:14:01,241
Second of all, I know that
it may not be nice,
372
00:14:01,276 --> 00:14:05,744
but neither is pretending to be
100% perfect, like Tahani does.
373
00:14:05,752 --> 00:14:08,470
- She wrote that note.
- No she didn't!
374
00:14:08,540 --> 00:14:10,406
You did!
375
00:14:10,442 --> 00:14:13,475
I was hoping you would come to
this conclusion on your own,
376
00:14:13,544 --> 00:14:18,380
but, obviously, no one here
would ever threaten you.
377
00:14:18,415 --> 00:14:21,783
That note is the Good Place
manifesting your own guilt.
378
00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:24,720
Like with the plant,
or when you literally made
379
00:14:24,755 --> 00:14:28,589
giant shrimp fly through the air.
380
00:14:28,624 --> 00:14:30,925
I wrote myself the note.
381
00:14:30,961 --> 00:14:32,626
And as it turns out,
382
00:14:32,662 --> 00:14:34,462
I do belong here.
383
00:14:34,497 --> 00:14:36,097
Because I'm just as good
as everyone else.
384
00:14:36,132 --> 00:14:37,298
No, no, no.
385
00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:39,600
No, you don't belong here.
386
00:14:39,635 --> 00:14:42,436
And in this place,
everyone is better than you.
387
00:14:42,472 --> 00:14:44,938
It has been proven by
an infallible formula.
388
00:14:44,974 --> 00:14:47,807
Tahani might be a little British
389
00:14:47,843 --> 00:14:49,843
and condescending at times,
390
00:14:49,912 --> 00:14:54,081
but she devoted her entire life
to helping other people.
391
00:14:54,116 --> 00:14:55,448
She's a good person.
392
00:14:55,484 --> 00:14:57,484
Accept that.
393
00:14:59,021 --> 00:15:00,254
Hey, babe.
394
00:15:00,289 --> 00:15:02,955
Great news, I got us tickets
to the Coyotes game.
395
00:15:02,991 --> 00:15:05,791
- Awesome!
- But, ooh, yikes.
396
00:15:05,826 --> 00:15:08,327
Turns out two of the players have DUIs.
397
00:15:08,363 --> 00:15:10,029
Guess we can't cheer for that team.
398
00:15:10,098 --> 00:15:11,764
- Eleanor, I...
- You know what?
399
00:15:11,799 --> 00:15:13,933
Instead, let's just stay in,
400
00:15:13,968 --> 00:15:16,802
watch a Roman Polanski movie,
listen to R. Kelly,
401
00:15:16,837 --> 00:15:18,371
and eat Chik-fil-A.
402
00:15:18,439 --> 00:15:19,871
Does that sound good?
403
00:15:19,940 --> 00:15:22,040
There's bad stuff everywhere, man.
404
00:15:22,109 --> 00:15:23,942
It's impossible to avoid.
405
00:15:23,977 --> 00:15:25,977
Yeah, but shouldn't we just try?
406
00:15:26,013 --> 00:15:28,479
Shouldn't we just try to do the
right thing whenever we can?
407
00:15:28,515 --> 00:15:30,573
Why? It's so much harder
to live like that.
408
00:15:30,598 --> 00:15:32,238
And it's not like
someone's keeping score.
409
00:15:32,273 --> 00:15:33,130
[sighs]
410
00:15:33,155 --> 00:15:34,986
Look, I know you're gonna
break up with me, okay?
411
00:15:35,022 --> 00:15:36,022
I'm not an idiot.
412
00:15:36,055 --> 00:15:37,621
I read your emails to your dad.
413
00:15:37,656 --> 00:15:39,957
Have fun being so amazing
and perfect until you die.
414
00:15:39,992 --> 00:15:41,658
And by the way, I'm talking really fast
415
00:15:41,693 --> 00:15:43,133
because I still go to Andy's Coffee,
416
00:15:43,162 --> 00:15:44,962
and I got a full punch card, bro.
417
00:15:52,004 --> 00:15:54,170
Good people make me insecure.
418
00:15:54,205 --> 00:15:56,973
When I'm around someone
who I think is better than me,
419
00:15:57,008 --> 00:15:58,874
I try and drag them down to my level.
420
00:15:58,910 --> 00:16:02,511
That's why perfect Tahani
is like my kryptonite.
421
00:16:02,547 --> 00:16:06,515
Well, even admitting that
is an important step.
422
00:16:06,551 --> 00:16:08,017
And also, maybe don't listen to me.
423
00:16:08,053 --> 00:16:09,919
I would love not to listen to you.
424
00:16:09,987 --> 00:16:10,919
Wait, what?
425
00:16:10,988 --> 00:16:13,422
Basically, my life's work
426
00:16:13,490 --> 00:16:16,858
is 3,600 pages of garbage.
427
00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:18,860
Even Michael couldn't understand it.
428
00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:19,928
So?
429
00:16:19,997 --> 00:16:21,997
- What does Michael know?
- Everything.
430
00:16:22,032 --> 00:16:23,665
That's my point... he knows everything,
431
00:16:23,700 --> 00:16:25,934
and it was too convoluted, even for him.
432
00:16:26,003 --> 00:16:28,102
Michael does not know everything.
433
00:16:28,171 --> 00:16:31,538
Michael does not know
I'm not supposed to be here.
434
00:16:31,574 --> 00:16:33,941
You wrote 4,000 pages on one of the most
435
00:16:34,010 --> 00:16:36,210
complicated subjects in the world.
436
00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:37,885
I mean I used to get bored
halfway through
437
00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:39,713
writing a text message.
438
00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:42,749
Be proud.
439
00:16:46,054 --> 00:16:47,620
I want to broaden my horizons
440
00:16:47,689 --> 00:16:49,722
and try new things, and I will.
441
00:16:49,757 --> 00:16:51,891
But even though I might have
gotten lost in the weeds,
442
00:16:51,926 --> 00:16:54,560
I loved writing this book.
443
00:16:54,596 --> 00:16:56,863
And I want to try again.
444
00:16:56,898 --> 00:16:58,698
So...
445
00:16:58,733 --> 00:16:59,866
will you be my advisor?
446
00:16:59,901 --> 00:17:03,768
Chidi, all I want
is for you to be happy.
447
00:17:03,804 --> 00:17:06,905
So if spending eternity
getting blunt feedback
448
00:17:06,940 --> 00:17:10,909
on your circular, rambling ideas
will make you happy,
449
00:17:10,944 --> 00:17:13,578
then of course I will be your advisor.
450
00:17:13,614 --> 00:17:17,314
Let's throw that monstrosity
in the trash and start over.
451
00:17:18,885 --> 00:17:20,751
Aren't there maybe
some parts worth salvaging?
452
00:17:20,786 --> 00:17:22,102
Honestly, man, I don't even know.
453
00:17:22,127 --> 00:17:23,754
I mean, that thing is unreadable.
454
00:17:23,789 --> 00:17:25,923
I literally learned what headaches were
455
00:17:25,958 --> 00:17:27,958
because that thing gave me a headache.
456
00:17:27,994 --> 00:17:28,994
Okay.
457
00:17:30,630 --> 00:17:31,630
There you go.
458
00:17:31,664 --> 00:17:33,231
New beginnings! Well done.
459
00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:38,635
[crying]
460
00:17:42,807 --> 00:17:43,773
[gentle knocking]
461
00:17:43,808 --> 00:17:44,774
Oh!
462
00:17:44,809 --> 00:17:46,809
Oh, hello, Eleanor. Hi.
463
00:17:46,845 --> 00:17:49,146
Sorry, I was just cleaning up.
464
00:17:49,181 --> 00:17:50,980
You okay?
465
00:17:51,016 --> 00:17:52,814
Do you want to...
466
00:17:52,850 --> 00:17:53,815
talk about it?
467
00:17:53,851 --> 00:17:55,851
Desperately.
468
00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:57,586
It's Jianyu.
469
00:17:57,621 --> 00:17:59,121
I just can't seem to connect with him.
470
00:17:59,157 --> 00:18:00,822
I know that he took a vow of silence,
471
00:18:00,858 --> 00:18:04,527
but he won't even talk to me,
his soul mate!
472
00:18:04,595 --> 00:18:06,262
And I adore talking.
473
00:18:06,297 --> 00:18:07,963
I know. You do.
474
00:18:07,998 --> 00:18:10,198
Eleanor, you don't know what
it's like to be in paradise
475
00:18:10,267 --> 00:18:13,701
and feel like there's something
just not quite right.
476
00:18:13,770 --> 00:18:15,970
Well...
477
00:18:16,005 --> 00:18:18,273
I may not know exactly
what you're feeling,
478
00:18:18,308 --> 00:18:20,208
but I do understand.
479
00:18:20,277 --> 00:18:24,612
And you deserve to be happy, because...
480
00:18:24,647 --> 00:18:28,215
you are an impressive,
thoughtful, and special person.
481
00:18:29,685 --> 00:18:31,918
Not to mention...
482
00:18:32,688 --> 00:18:34,788
- you have a rockin' bod.
- [chuckles]
483
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:36,856
I mean, Jianyu may be mute,
484
00:18:36,892 --> 00:18:39,059
- but he's not blind.
- [laughs]
485
00:18:39,128 --> 00:18:41,661
You two belong here.
486
00:18:41,697 --> 00:18:43,629
And you belong together.
487
00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:46,832
And you have all of eternity,
so there's plenty of time
488
00:18:46,867 --> 00:18:48,067
for things to change.
489
00:18:48,136 --> 00:18:49,702
Oh, thank you.
490
00:18:49,737 --> 00:18:52,738
I really needed to hear that. Come here.
491
00:18:53,978 --> 00:18:56,757
Ugh, of course your hugs are amazing.
492
00:18:59,934 --> 00:19:01,367
[yawns]
493
00:19:01,402 --> 00:19:02,802
[yelps]
494
00:19:02,872 --> 00:19:04,538
Stupid ledge.
495
00:19:04,572 --> 00:19:07,043
Ugh, stairs.
496
00:19:08,109 --> 00:19:11,110
Everyone here is really into hugging.
497
00:19:12,214 --> 00:19:15,214
Looks like someone learned something.
498
00:19:17,318 --> 00:19:20,285
Well, it's 'cause someone else
499
00:19:20,321 --> 00:19:23,322
is a really good teacher.
500
00:19:25,159 --> 00:19:26,744
Eleanor, hello.
501
00:19:26,769 --> 00:19:29,528
How are you, my dear, sweet bestie?
502
00:19:29,596 --> 00:19:31,096
Never better. What's up?
503
00:19:31,131 --> 00:19:33,697
Well, Janet has been acting
as my assistant.
504
00:19:33,766 --> 00:19:37,034
It's not what she was designed to do.
505
00:19:37,103 --> 00:19:39,470
- Didn't go great.
- But now I'm back to normal.
506
00:19:39,505 --> 00:19:41,205
It turns out that the best Janet
507
00:19:41,274 --> 00:19:44,208
was the Janet that was
inside Janet all along.
508
00:19:44,277 --> 00:19:46,477
She was feeling a little lost,
so I gave her
509
00:19:46,512 --> 00:19:49,612
a self-help book
to restore her confidence.
510
00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:53,216
Now I'm living my truth
and creating my bliss.
511
00:19:53,285 --> 00:19:54,617
Anyway, um, look,
512
00:19:54,652 --> 00:19:57,220
Michael asked me if I would
serve as his assistant,
513
00:19:57,289 --> 00:20:00,523
but I'd quite like to focus
on my relationship with Jianyu.
514
00:20:00,559 --> 00:20:03,693
So I recommended you for the job.
515
00:20:03,728 --> 00:20:04,694
[giggles]
516
00:20:04,729 --> 00:20:06,628
Eleanor, you and I could work
517
00:20:06,663 --> 00:20:09,064
side-by-side to figure out
518
00:20:09,133 --> 00:20:11,467
what's going wrong
with this neighborhood.
519
00:20:11,502 --> 00:20:13,202
Will you help me?
520
00:20:13,237 --> 00:20:15,304
- How could I say no?
- Yeah, hurrah!
521
00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:17,139
- Hurrah!
- [giggles]
522
00:20:20,244 --> 00:20:22,244
What now?
523
00:20:24,620 --> 00:20:26,399
_
524
00:20:27,683 --> 00:20:29,817
[sighs]
525
00:20:29,852 --> 00:20:32,653
Relax, Eleanor.
526
00:20:32,688 --> 00:20:34,755
You sent this to yourself.
527
00:20:34,824 --> 00:20:39,026
This is your own guilt
manifesting itself.
528
00:20:40,195 --> 00:20:42,329
I've been waiting for you.
529
00:20:42,364 --> 00:20:43,696
Jianyu?
530
00:20:43,732 --> 00:20:45,732
You talk now?
531
00:20:48,203 --> 00:20:50,237
You sent me these threatening notes?
532
00:20:50,272 --> 00:20:51,338
What the fork, man?
533
00:20:51,373 --> 00:20:53,236
Some Buddhist monk you are.
534
00:20:53,261 --> 00:20:54,970
You don't belong here.
535
00:20:54,995 --> 00:20:56,495
Admit it.
536
00:20:57,988 --> 00:20:59,153
Okay, you're right.
537
00:20:59,222 --> 00:21:00,722
I don't belong here.
538
00:21:00,757 --> 00:21:01,966
Michael made a mistake.
539
00:21:01,991 --> 00:21:03,405
But I'm trying, dude.
540
00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:05,426
I'm really trying to be a good person.
541
00:21:05,461 --> 00:21:07,271
And I think I'm changing for the better,
542
00:21:07,296 --> 00:21:10,202
so just please, please don't rat me out.
543
00:21:11,015 --> 00:21:12,772
Don't worry, I won't.
544
00:21:12,796 --> 00:21:14,003
[sighs]
545
00:21:14,004 --> 00:21:15,836
Because I'm not
supposed to be here, either.
546
00:21:15,905 --> 00:21:18,572
I don't know how I got here,
I have no idea what's going on,
547
00:21:18,607 --> 00:21:20,106
and I am freakin' out, homey!
548
00:21:20,142 --> 00:21:21,742
You got to help me.
549
00:21:21,777 --> 00:21:22,943
I'm scared!
550
00:21:24,747 --> 00:21:25,747
What?
551
00:21:25,771 --> 00:21:27,371
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com