1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:02,210 Previously on The Last Man on Earth... 2 00:00:03,469 --> 00:00:04,842 I am worried about Melissa. 3 00:00:04,867 --> 00:00:06,718 Hey, guys, how would you like to stay? 4 00:00:06,743 --> 00:00:08,168 You're not gonna regret this. 5 00:00:08,193 --> 00:00:09,075 I know we won't. 6 00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:10,359 You lied! 7 00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:12,328 So you could infect me with the virus! 8 00:00:12,363 --> 00:00:16,048 (all screaming and yelling) 9 00:00:16,073 --> 00:00:18,123 I think I killed him! (all screaming) 10 00:00:19,287 --> 00:00:20,419 (screaming, overlapping yelling) 11 00:00:20,505 --> 00:00:22,461 Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! 12 00:00:22,486 --> 00:00:23,652 I told you he was crazy. 13 00:00:23,677 --> 00:00:24,970 Oh, yeah, Lewis, this isn't 14 00:00:24,995 --> 00:00:27,344 a "Who-Knew-Who Was-Crazy-When" contest. 15 00:00:27,376 --> 00:00:29,734 And if it was, I won 'cause I knew it all along. 16 00:00:29,759 --> 00:00:31,927 Oh, please, you could not get his jeans on fast enough. 17 00:00:31,952 --> 00:00:34,501 I put them on very slowly, Lewis. 18 00:00:34,526 --> 00:00:36,192 - (car sputtering) - Hey, hey, why are we slowing down? 19 00:00:36,217 --> 00:00:37,867 I'm flooring it. Nothing's happening. LEWIS: It's the gas. 20 00:00:37,892 --> 00:00:39,222 Gas goes bad. 21 00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:41,281 Pull over. We can hide in that house! 22 00:00:42,234 --> 00:00:45,623 (engine sputtering) 23 00:00:45,648 --> 00:00:48,065 (crickets chirping) 24 00:00:49,009 --> 00:00:50,674 Oh! Okay, get in! Get in! (gasps) 25 00:00:50,699 --> 00:00:51,758 - (screams) - Okay. Okay. Okay. 26 00:00:51,783 --> 00:00:53,569 - Tandy, close the door. - Hey, I'm trying. 27 00:00:53,594 --> 00:00:55,022 - Help me with this. - Okay. 28 00:00:55,047 --> 00:00:57,881 GAIL: Oh... my... God. 29 00:00:58,200 --> 00:00:59,700 - No way. - What? 30 00:01:02,327 --> 00:01:05,221 I think we might be in Cher's house. 31 00:01:05,639 --> 00:01:06,421 Well, I don't know. 32 00:01:06,446 --> 00:01:08,688 It could be a fan or a drag queen. 33 00:01:09,813 --> 00:01:12,729 Nope, this is definitely Cher's house. 34 00:01:13,258 --> 00:01:14,658 (door squeaks) 35 00:01:18,743 --> 00:01:20,793 She still looks radiant. 36 00:01:22,074 --> 00:01:23,907 (sighs) 37 00:01:25,698 --> 00:01:27,531 I mean, I-I... I just grazed him! I think I... It was just... 38 00:01:27,617 --> 00:01:30,084 It was just a tap. I mean, Pat's gonna be fine, right? 39 00:01:30,169 --> 00:01:32,424 I definitely heard bones breaking. 40 00:01:32,449 --> 00:01:33,455 I'm night blind, 41 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:35,372 so I've run over a lot of animals. 42 00:01:35,745 --> 00:01:37,628 Possums, coons, 43 00:01:37,653 --> 00:01:39,873 squirrels, dogs and cats, of course, 44 00:01:39,898 --> 00:01:42,089 and one animal... I never knew what it was, 45 00:01:42,114 --> 00:01:43,363 but it yelled "Stop!" 46 00:01:43,738 --> 00:01:44,854 Might have been a parrot. 47 00:01:44,879 --> 00:01:45,966 TODD: Yeah, so I'm thinking just maybe 48 00:01:45,991 --> 00:01:47,457 a couple broken bones, or...? 49 00:01:47,763 --> 00:01:49,196 Oh, no, you hit him dead-on. 50 00:01:49,221 --> 00:01:50,923 I mean, we're talking full on smush. 51 00:01:50,948 --> 00:01:52,953 Yeah, but, I mean, he's gonna be fine, right? 52 00:01:52,978 --> 00:01:55,107 Oh, yeah, a lot of people pull through situations 53 00:01:55,132 --> 00:01:57,043 where their intestines shoot out their butts. 54 00:01:57,339 --> 00:01:58,839 - Good God. - Todd, 55 00:01:58,864 --> 00:02:00,114 you should be hoping you killed him, 56 00:02:00,139 --> 00:02:02,880 'cause if you didn't, he'll be coming for us. 57 00:02:03,029 --> 00:02:06,581 And right on cue, the freakin' peanut gallery opens his shell 58 00:02:06,606 --> 00:02:08,746 and shoots off his little peanut mouth. 59 00:02:08,771 --> 00:02:09,576 Carol, what are you doing? 60 00:02:09,601 --> 00:02:12,814 I'm just having trouble reading your emotions. 61 00:02:12,839 --> 00:02:14,122 (sighs) 62 00:02:14,147 --> 00:02:15,503 Oh, you're irritated. 63 00:02:15,528 --> 00:02:17,900 Okay, all I'm saying with my little peanut mouth 64 00:02:17,925 --> 00:02:20,371 is that we need to be very cautious here. 65 00:02:20,396 --> 00:02:21,380 Yeah, I'm with Lewis. 66 00:02:21,405 --> 00:02:24,065 Let's leave before Pat comes back and kills us all, 67 00:02:24,090 --> 00:02:26,423 or makes us wear those friggin' janky jeans. 68 00:02:26,448 --> 00:02:28,350 Okay, fine, since Lewis has 69 00:02:28,375 --> 00:02:30,634 everyone's panties jumping up their buns, 70 00:02:30,659 --> 00:02:32,364 I'll go over there and check it out. 71 00:02:32,389 --> 00:02:34,940 No way, Tandy! What if they're right, 72 00:02:34,965 --> 00:02:37,416 and he makes us wear the janky jeans? 73 00:02:37,910 --> 00:02:39,816 Look, I'll be very careful. 74 00:02:39,841 --> 00:02:42,598 You know me. I'm an expert at sneaking around. 75 00:02:42,623 --> 00:02:44,706 Oh, my God, what's that? 76 00:02:53,086 --> 00:02:54,350 See? 77 00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:57,588 I'm gonna be just fine. 78 00:02:58,465 --> 00:02:59,554 TANDY: Pat? 79 00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:01,832 It's me... Tandy. 80 00:03:01,857 --> 00:03:03,328 Now, don't get any ideas! 81 00:03:03,353 --> 00:03:05,012 I'm not alone! 82 00:03:05,104 --> 00:03:08,780 I ran into some ex-Marines and MMA fighters. 83 00:03:08,805 --> 00:03:10,384 Guys, introduce yourselves. 84 00:03:10,657 --> 00:03:13,504 (with Southern accent): Hey, I'm Jed. Semper Fi! 85 00:03:13,589 --> 00:03:17,474 (different voice): I'm CJ. Jujitsu is my game! 86 00:03:17,570 --> 00:03:19,826 (in deep voice): Oh, hey, there. I'm Frisco. 87 00:03:19,851 --> 00:03:21,655 I'm a neck snapper! 88 00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:23,230 (in silly voice): Oh, and hello. 89 00:03:23,255 --> 00:03:25,427 I am, uh, Julius. 90 00:03:25,505 --> 00:03:28,235 Uh, Semper Fi. Another marine. 91 00:03:28,674 --> 00:03:31,756 (in his voice): Okay, Pat, it's me again... Tandy. 92 00:03:31,819 --> 00:03:33,153 Now, we're gonna come out. 93 00:03:33,178 --> 00:03:35,576 Don't try anything stupid, okay? 94 00:03:35,770 --> 00:03:37,568 We're all heavily armed. 95 00:03:37,985 --> 00:03:40,569 Okay, guys, single file. 96 00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,215 Come on, hup two! 97 00:03:45,838 --> 00:03:47,671 (crickets chirping) 98 00:03:52,494 --> 00:03:53,549 Pat? 99 00:03:55,509 --> 00:03:57,343 Bud? 100 00:04:01,255 --> 00:04:02,519 You okay? 101 00:04:05,451 --> 00:04:07,474 Pat? 102 00:04:08,161 --> 00:04:10,327 Taking a little snooze, huh? 103 00:04:12,747 --> 00:04:13,864 Pat? 104 00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:15,732 Watch out! 105 00:04:25,214 --> 00:04:26,577 (wind whistling) 106 00:04:27,724 --> 00:04:30,642 I guess I should probably say a few words. 107 00:04:36,742 --> 00:04:38,659 Get your hat off! 108 00:04:44,025 --> 00:04:44,946 Wow. 109 00:04:44,971 --> 00:04:46,838 Pat, we had some good times, 110 00:04:47,473 --> 00:04:50,007 and then at the end there, we had a really quick bad one 111 00:04:50,059 --> 00:04:51,509 that led to this. 112 00:04:51,561 --> 00:04:53,010 (wind whistling) 113 00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:54,910 But even though you turned into 114 00:04:54,935 --> 00:04:56,552 kind of a monster there at the end, 115 00:04:56,577 --> 00:04:59,291 and, you know, you tried to kill my brother, 116 00:05:00,431 --> 00:05:03,182 you still deserve a proper burial. 117 00:05:04,607 --> 00:05:06,440 (glass breaking) 118 00:05:10,782 --> 00:05:13,282 Everybody here? If I could get your attention. 119 00:05:13,368 --> 00:05:16,656 Uh, bring it in, take a knee. 120 00:05:18,539 --> 00:05:20,623 Melissa? Melissa? 121 00:05:22,068 --> 00:05:22,949 Uh, thank you. 122 00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:24,201 Yeah. 123 00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:28,696 Got something I, uh... I got to say. 124 00:05:30,882 --> 00:05:31,958 He dead. 125 00:05:33,655 --> 00:05:34,798 He dead? 126 00:05:34,902 --> 00:05:37,629 He's dead, or he died. 127 00:05:38,028 --> 00:05:38,971 In times of grief, 128 00:05:38,996 --> 00:05:41,297 people often abandon the rules of contraction. 129 00:05:43,395 --> 00:05:45,539 Oh, my God, I killed someone. 130 00:05:46,210 --> 00:05:47,638 Hey, buck up, bud. 131 00:05:47,883 --> 00:05:49,426 You did the right thing. 132 00:05:49,840 --> 00:05:50,275 ERICA: Yeah, 133 00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:52,808 - you saved us from a ropeable psycho. - LEWIS: Yeah. 134 00:05:52,833 --> 00:05:55,083 You're a hero, Todd. He was a bad guy. 135 00:05:56,537 --> 00:05:57,529 I'm sorry. 136 00:05:57,554 --> 00:05:59,304 I'm gonna need... need a minute. 137 00:06:01,746 --> 00:06:03,279 Oh, way to go, Lewis. 138 00:06:03,304 --> 00:06:04,588 Calling him a hero. 139 00:06:04,613 --> 00:06:06,530 Read the room, dude! 140 00:06:10,921 --> 00:06:13,038 (Todd crying) 141 00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:16,366 (weeping) 142 00:06:21,466 --> 00:06:23,145 (sobbing) 143 00:06:23,170 --> 00:06:24,170 Todd? 144 00:06:27,867 --> 00:06:28,609 Yeah... 145 00:06:29,527 --> 00:06:31,030 Hey, bud. 146 00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:34,652 (sobbing) 147 00:06:35,344 --> 00:06:37,113 You're really taking this hard. 148 00:06:37,209 --> 00:06:39,626 Tandy, I killed someone! 149 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,581 That doesn't go away, man. 150 00:06:41,606 --> 00:06:44,574 This'll be with me for the rest of my life. 151 00:06:45,061 --> 00:06:48,124 I'm not sure I know how to live with this. 152 00:06:48,159 --> 00:06:49,625 Come on, Todd, you don't mean that. 153 00:06:49,661 --> 00:06:51,494 I do! 154 00:06:52,450 --> 00:06:56,295 I don't know how to live with this! 155 00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:58,153 (sobbing) 156 00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:05,936 (loud sobbing) 157 00:07:05,961 --> 00:07:07,911 Todd? Todd? Todd? Todd? 158 00:07:08,002 --> 00:07:10,052 Todd? Todd? Todd? 159 00:07:10,095 --> 00:07:11,595 - What? - Todd? 160 00:07:11,766 --> 00:07:13,129 Huh? 161 00:07:13,154 --> 00:07:15,321 Pat is alive. 162 00:07:15,788 --> 00:07:17,653 - What? - Yeah, he's alive. 163 00:07:18,452 --> 00:07:19,319 (sniffles) 164 00:07:19,351 --> 00:07:20,600 That can't be. 165 00:07:20,625 --> 00:07:23,222 Well, it-it... it be. 166 00:07:23,239 --> 00:07:25,155 But you told everybody he was dead. 167 00:07:25,191 --> 00:07:27,971 Well, yeah, I told 'em what they needed to hear. 168 00:07:28,029 --> 00:07:29,643 You know I do that from time to time. 169 00:07:29,737 --> 00:07:31,028 I mean, how do you think they'd feel if they knew 170 00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:34,248 some deranged maniac was on the loose? Huh? 171 00:07:35,261 --> 00:07:36,807 So I didn't kill him? 172 00:07:36,916 --> 00:07:39,029 No. He's totally alive. 173 00:07:39,054 --> 00:07:41,182 In fact, he's moving around better than I've ever seen him. 174 00:07:41,207 --> 00:07:43,227 Just, like, j... hoppin' around, jumping around. 175 00:07:43,252 --> 00:07:44,925 - I got to go talk to him. - Yeah. Oh, no, no, no, no. 176 00:07:45,011 --> 00:07:47,978 That's a bad idea. That's a bad idea. He's pissed. 177 00:07:48,003 --> 00:07:49,857 This is my mess, and I got to clean it up. 178 00:07:49,882 --> 00:07:50,551 I'm gonna do it with 179 00:07:50,576 --> 00:07:52,127 - or without your blessing, okay? - No... 180 00:07:52,152 --> 00:07:54,123 (stammering): Uh, uh, o-okay, okay, 181 00:07:54,148 --> 00:07:56,602 okay, yes, yes. Okay, fine, fine. 182 00:07:56,698 --> 00:07:59,406 But let me go over there first, okay? You know that 183 00:07:59,431 --> 00:08:01,226 Pat and I are buds, so, uh, you know, 184 00:08:01,251 --> 00:08:04,351 maybe I can heat up the pool a little before you dive in. 185 00:08:04,565 --> 00:08:06,265 Yeah, sure, okay. 186 00:08:07,727 --> 00:08:09,643 Hey, Todd? 187 00:08:10,980 --> 00:08:12,251 You feel better? 188 00:08:12,599 --> 00:08:13,882 (sniffles) 189 00:08:14,233 --> 00:08:16,299 You know, this is gonna sound selfish, 190 00:08:16,324 --> 00:08:18,783 because Pat's alive 191 00:08:18,808 --> 00:08:21,063 and the group is in danger, 192 00:08:21,571 --> 00:08:22,496 but, yeah, 193 00:08:23,149 --> 00:08:25,082 I really do. 194 00:08:25,810 --> 00:08:27,288 Good, good. 195 00:08:27,313 --> 00:08:29,817 Okay, I'll be back very soon. 196 00:08:30,091 --> 00:08:33,258 And-and, Todd, do not tell the others. 197 00:08:36,612 --> 00:08:40,250 Pat? Pat, I'm here with Todd, 198 00:08:40,275 --> 00:08:41,475 like I told you. 199 00:08:42,073 --> 00:08:44,521 He's here to apologize. 200 00:08:45,131 --> 00:08:47,490 Pat! Where'd you go off to, bud? 201 00:08:49,051 --> 00:08:50,493 Pat! 202 00:08:52,364 --> 00:08:54,531 Oh, good God. 203 00:08:59,441 --> 00:09:00,954 What the hell? 204 00:09:05,807 --> 00:09:06,608 _ 205 00:09:06,632 --> 00:09:07,463 _ 206 00:09:07,487 --> 00:09:08,837 _ 207 00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:11,080 I just talked to him, like, an hour ago, 208 00:09:11,105 --> 00:09:12,638 and he seemed to be cooling down. 209 00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:14,768 Something must've set him off. 210 00:09:15,454 --> 00:09:17,387 So crazy. I mean, 211 00:09:17,472 --> 00:09:18,639 what a difference an hour makes. 212 00:09:18,664 --> 00:09:19,833 Heck, less than an hour. 213 00:09:20,125 --> 00:09:22,225 55 minutes. Maybe even 50. 214 00:09:23,343 --> 00:09:25,061 (sighs) 215 00:09:30,808 --> 00:09:32,596 Paint's wet. 216 00:09:32,902 --> 00:09:37,271 Yep, definitely done within the last hour. 217 00:09:41,438 --> 00:09:43,557 Looks like he lit a little incense. 218 00:09:43,829 --> 00:09:45,799 What do these take, like, an hour to burn? 219 00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:49,219 So it must've been lit, like, 30 minutes ago. 220 00:09:49,624 --> 00:09:51,315 So recent. 221 00:09:51,978 --> 00:09:53,590 Tandy, look at these. 222 00:09:54,306 --> 00:09:55,837 Oh, my God, let me see that. 223 00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:57,165 _ 224 00:09:59,627 --> 00:10:01,674 That ink's, like, 18, 20 minutes old. 225 00:10:01,699 --> 00:10:02,403 He was just here. 226 00:10:02,428 --> 00:10:03,865 - Oh, damn it! - He was just here. 227 00:10:03,889 --> 00:10:05,827 What are we gonna do about the others? 228 00:10:05,852 --> 00:10:08,269 - What do you mean? - They're gonna want to come back here. 229 00:10:08,294 --> 00:10:09,663 - Eh, it's fine. - No, Tandy, 230 00:10:09,688 --> 00:10:12,355 there is a maniac on the loose, and he is pissed at us. 231 00:10:12,527 --> 00:10:14,104 (stammering): Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. 232 00:10:14,129 --> 00:10:16,279 No, no, no, I see your point. Yes, yes, yes. 233 00:10:16,331 --> 00:10:17,772 Okay. (stammers) Uh, oh... 234 00:10:17,796 --> 00:10:19,209 - how 'bout this? - Okay. 235 00:10:19,234 --> 00:10:20,400 We stay away for a few days. 236 00:10:20,401 --> 00:10:21,552 - Right. - Maybe we'll get lucky 237 00:10:21,577 --> 00:10:23,201 and he'll, you know, come back here 238 00:10:23,226 --> 00:10:26,122 and paint something on the wall saying he sailed off to Hawaii. 239 00:10:26,235 --> 00:10:27,436 Wouldn't it be nice if he did that? 240 00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:29,626 But, hey, what are the chances? We'll see. 241 00:10:29,678 --> 00:10:32,128 How are we gonna keep 'em from coming back here without scaring 'em? 242 00:10:32,626 --> 00:10:34,631 Easy. Just follow my lead. 243 00:10:36,208 --> 00:10:38,372 Okay, guys, so, uh, I took Todd over 244 00:10:38,397 --> 00:10:41,405 to see Pat's dead body. You know, desensitize him. 245 00:10:41,430 --> 00:10:43,570 And it went great. Right, T? 246 00:10:43,595 --> 00:10:45,119 Uh, yeah, you bet. 247 00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,776 Y-You know, I, uh... 248 00:10:47,127 --> 00:10:50,174 I-I looked at it, uh, long enough to... 249 00:10:50,698 --> 00:10:52,220 feel better. 250 00:10:52,245 --> 00:10:53,722 Anyway, so I think it might be best 251 00:10:53,747 --> 00:10:55,830 to just hunker down here for the next few days. 252 00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:57,487 It's pretty gross over there. 253 00:10:57,539 --> 00:10:59,023 It's like a freakin' flock of seals 254 00:10:59,048 --> 00:11:00,430 jumped into a wood chipper. 255 00:11:00,455 --> 00:11:01,713 I mean, like, every inch 256 00:11:01,738 --> 00:11:03,747 of the place is coated in blood and stool. 257 00:11:03,772 --> 00:11:04,327 Right, T? 258 00:11:04,352 --> 00:11:07,482 Yeah, blood, stool, vomit. 259 00:11:07,507 --> 00:11:08,832 Vomit. Forgot about the vomit. 260 00:11:08,917 --> 00:11:10,712 - Semen. - I didn't see that. 261 00:11:10,737 --> 00:11:12,334 But, okay, yeah, semen, sure. 262 00:11:12,359 --> 00:11:14,778 - I don't care. I want to go home. - I know you do, 263 00:11:14,803 --> 00:11:16,733 Care Bear, but I'm gonna have to insist that we stay. 264 00:11:17,067 --> 00:11:19,129 - I'm making the call here. - LEWIS: You know, Tandy, 265 00:11:19,154 --> 00:11:21,487 I think people can make their own decisions. 266 00:11:22,153 --> 00:11:23,096 Is that so? 267 00:11:23,181 --> 00:11:24,253 Yep. I'm going back. 268 00:11:24,278 --> 00:11:25,840 - That's my decision. - Yeah, 269 00:11:25,865 --> 00:11:28,504 I'm my own person, and I'm going back if Gail goes back. 270 00:11:28,770 --> 00:11:29,512 Let's go. 271 00:11:29,537 --> 00:11:31,498 - You're making a big mistake. - No, guys! 272 00:11:31,523 --> 00:11:33,356 Please, don't-don't go! Listen, 273 00:11:33,381 --> 00:11:34,463 Tandy, we got to tell 'em. 274 00:11:34,874 --> 00:11:36,150 Tell us what? 275 00:11:36,791 --> 00:11:37,604 Tandy! 276 00:11:38,430 --> 00:11:40,352 (stammering) 277 00:11:41,507 --> 00:11:45,461 - (stammering) - Tandy! 278 00:11:46,022 --> 00:11:50,845 - (stammering) - Guys, Pat is alive. 279 00:11:51,073 --> 00:11:52,162 - What? - What? (groans) 280 00:11:52,187 --> 00:11:54,008 But, Tandy, you told us he was dead! 281 00:11:54,033 --> 00:11:55,828 (stammering): Guys, guys, 282 00:11:55,853 --> 00:11:57,773 guys, relax, okay? 283 00:11:57,798 --> 00:11:59,182 Pat is very dead. 284 00:12:00,214 --> 00:12:01,228 No, Tandy, 285 00:12:01,253 --> 00:12:02,362 we got to come clean. 286 00:12:02,387 --> 00:12:04,097 Listen, Tandy lied to you 287 00:12:04,122 --> 00:12:05,554 because he didn't want to scare you. 288 00:12:05,579 --> 00:12:07,273 But the truth is Pat is alive, 289 00:12:07,359 --> 00:12:09,249 and he is friggin' pissed at us. 290 00:12:09,274 --> 00:12:11,123 - Oh, Lord on high. - Oh... (gasping) 291 00:12:11,148 --> 00:12:14,474 (stammering): Fine, yes, yes, yes, 292 00:12:14,499 --> 00:12:16,726 - w-we have to be honest, right? - Yes. 293 00:12:16,751 --> 00:12:18,701 Okay, and the truth is... 294 00:12:19,252 --> 00:12:21,062 Pat is alive. 295 00:12:22,060 --> 00:12:23,043 I don't understand this game! 296 00:12:23,068 --> 00:12:25,292 Tandy, which is it? 297 00:12:25,317 --> 00:12:26,470 Pat is dead. 298 00:12:27,002 --> 00:12:28,885 - What? - (whispering): He's alive. 299 00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:31,303 He's-he's dead. 300 00:12:32,553 --> 00:12:34,361 He's alive. 301 00:12:34,386 --> 00:12:37,306 Philip Tandrew Miller, is he alive or is he dead? 302 00:12:40,788 --> 00:12:41,689 Tandy? 303 00:12:46,983 --> 00:12:47,997 He's alive. 304 00:12:48,022 --> 00:12:49,745 Oh, bloody hell, Tandy! 305 00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:52,203 God, what are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?! 306 00:12:52,228 --> 00:12:54,454 - We need weapons! - Yeah. 307 00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:57,067 (sighs heavily) 308 00:12:57,092 --> 00:12:58,308 Oh, farts. 309 00:12:59,188 --> 00:13:00,726 Grab Oscars, Emmys, 310 00:13:00,751 --> 00:13:02,460 Grammys, Golden Globes! 311 00:13:02,531 --> 00:13:04,448 Anything that can be turned into a shiv! 312 00:13:04,533 --> 00:13:05,906 TANDY: Guys, come on, 313 00:13:05,931 --> 00:13:08,155 relax! I mean, he's just one guy! 314 00:13:08,180 --> 00:13:11,399 Just one guy who wants to kill us, you friggin' dingbat! 315 00:13:11,424 --> 00:13:13,215 He doesn't want to kill us. 316 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:15,681 Tandy, he literally wrote on the wall he wants 317 00:13:15,706 --> 00:13:18,015 to cut our heads off and drink our blood! 318 00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:21,408 (hysterical screaming) 319 00:13:23,192 --> 00:13:24,622 Melissa? 320 00:13:27,921 --> 00:13:30,937 Melissa? What are you doing up there? 321 00:13:31,592 --> 00:13:33,188 Oh, I'm just in Cher's tree 322 00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:37,881 throwing some of Cher's bocce balls at Cher's vases. 323 00:13:37,906 --> 00:13:41,224 Okay, but, hon, I'm-I'm gonna need you to come down, 324 00:13:41,249 --> 00:13:45,473 because it turns out that Pat is way more alive 325 00:13:45,498 --> 00:13:49,006 - than previously advertised. - Oh, that's too bad. 326 00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:50,127 Be right back. 327 00:13:50,358 --> 00:13:51,544 Wait, where you going? 328 00:13:51,569 --> 00:13:53,459 To kill him. Oh. 329 00:13:53,756 --> 00:13:54,748 I don't have a gun. 330 00:13:54,986 --> 00:13:56,332 - Do you have a gun? - Melissa, 331 00:13:56,357 --> 00:13:57,417 are you okay? 332 00:13:58,169 --> 00:13:59,386 I'm fine. 333 00:13:59,411 --> 00:14:00,941 You know, I just worry because 334 00:14:00,966 --> 00:14:03,230 it's only been two days since, you know... 335 00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:04,591 Since I killed that guy? 336 00:14:04,926 --> 00:14:05,905 Yeah. 337 00:14:05,930 --> 00:14:08,117 Eh, well, don't worry about me. 338 00:14:08,336 --> 00:14:10,074 I can turn it off like a faucet. 339 00:14:11,145 --> 00:14:12,483 Just like a faucet. 340 00:14:15,325 --> 00:14:16,520 Carol? 341 00:14:26,525 --> 00:14:27,621 - Tandy. - (screams) 342 00:14:27,646 --> 00:14:29,977 (screaming) 343 00:14:30,002 --> 00:14:31,451 Carol, what are you doing? 344 00:14:31,813 --> 00:14:33,760 Oh, Tandy, I'm so scared. 345 00:14:33,785 --> 00:14:35,500 What if Pat comes here and finds us? 346 00:14:35,525 --> 00:14:38,793 - He's not going to. - You don't know that for sure. 347 00:14:39,457 --> 00:14:42,161 Yes, I do, okay? 348 00:14:42,209 --> 00:14:43,753 It's not possible. 349 00:14:43,778 --> 00:14:46,637 Anything's possible if you put your mind to it. 350 00:14:46,729 --> 00:14:47,508 Not this time. 351 00:14:47,874 --> 00:14:49,457 Here, have a seat. 352 00:14:51,770 --> 00:14:54,274 Carol, Pat is dead. 353 00:14:54,916 --> 00:14:57,653 But... well, you said he was alive. 354 00:14:57,678 --> 00:15:00,651 Look, Todd was just so broken up about the whole thing, 355 00:15:00,676 --> 00:15:02,333 I had to do something. 356 00:15:02,358 --> 00:15:03,857 So I lied to him. 357 00:15:05,553 --> 00:15:07,196 I'm so proud of you. 358 00:15:07,221 --> 00:15:09,636 I mean, you blew it on many, 359 00:15:09,661 --> 00:15:11,719 many levels. 360 00:15:12,233 --> 00:15:14,880 But your intentions were beyond heroic. 361 00:15:15,226 --> 00:15:16,788 But I created such a mess. 362 00:15:16,813 --> 00:15:18,882 I have no idea what to do now. 363 00:15:19,935 --> 00:15:22,594 Look, you created a monster here. 364 00:15:22,619 --> 00:15:23,712 Yeah? 365 00:15:23,737 --> 00:15:26,688 So now you just have to kill it. 366 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,758 Oh, good God. 367 00:15:31,783 --> 00:15:33,617 What, Tandy? 368 00:15:36,474 --> 00:15:37,983 - _ - Aah! 369 00:15:38,144 --> 00:15:40,523 Why God, why?! 370 00:15:40,750 --> 00:15:42,608 This ends now! 371 00:15:42,930 --> 00:15:44,391 (yelling) 372 00:15:44,416 --> 00:15:45,672 No, Tandy, 373 00:15:45,697 --> 00:15:46,944 don't be a hero. 374 00:15:46,969 --> 00:15:48,492 - Oh, my God. - The baby. 375 00:15:48,517 --> 00:15:50,641 - TODD: Tandy, where you going? - The baby! 376 00:15:50,666 --> 00:15:52,103 What's going on? 377 00:15:52,587 --> 00:15:54,618 There, down at the beach. 378 00:15:55,074 --> 00:15:57,768 Pat's come for us, like a bloodthirsty rat 379 00:15:57,793 --> 00:15:59,660 to his pied piper. 380 00:15:59,894 --> 00:16:01,625 But Tandy will save us. 381 00:16:02,418 --> 00:16:04,711 Be careful, my love. 382 00:16:05,351 --> 00:16:06,754 Tandy approaches. 383 00:16:07,399 --> 00:16:09,316 Pat is sadistically calm. 384 00:16:09,577 --> 00:16:11,368 Tandy suggests a truce. 385 00:16:11,393 --> 00:16:12,301 Okay, what the hell is this? 386 00:16:12,326 --> 00:16:14,332 Shh. Just let it play out. 387 00:16:14,357 --> 00:16:16,106 I like to see where these things go. 388 00:16:16,731 --> 00:16:18,641 CAROL: Diplomacy fails. 389 00:16:18,766 --> 00:16:21,676 Tandy delivers a roundhouse kick to the face. 390 00:16:21,770 --> 00:16:24,541 Oh! That's got to sting. 391 00:16:25,138 --> 00:16:28,480 Tandy is going in for more. What a takedown! 392 00:16:28,644 --> 00:16:31,026 Body blow, body blow. Left hook, 393 00:16:31,051 --> 00:16:32,823 uppercut, body blow! 394 00:16:33,112 --> 00:16:36,692 Wait, what's this? Tandy's offering to spare Pat's life. 395 00:16:36,717 --> 00:16:38,339 He's extending his hand. 396 00:16:38,364 --> 00:16:40,369 What a gentleman. 397 00:16:40,394 --> 00:16:41,268 Oh, no. 398 00:16:41,293 --> 00:16:44,411 Oh, no! He's thrown Tandy to the ground. 399 00:16:44,436 --> 00:16:46,053 An epic battle! 400 00:16:46,676 --> 00:16:48,509 The baby! 401 00:16:48,879 --> 00:16:50,656 Tandy, no! 402 00:16:50,695 --> 00:16:52,856 Use your strength! 403 00:16:52,881 --> 00:16:54,443 Pat's going for the eyes. 404 00:16:54,468 --> 00:16:56,323 He's poking Tandy's eyes. 405 00:16:56,348 --> 00:16:57,593 With what will he use 406 00:16:57,618 --> 00:17:00,001 to look at our precious baby? 407 00:17:00,026 --> 00:17:02,150 Pat's on top. Now Tandy's on top, 408 00:17:02,175 --> 00:17:04,362 and it looks like he's there to stay. 409 00:17:04,387 --> 00:17:07,339 There will be no mercy this time. 410 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:09,286 Tandy grabs the hacksaw. 411 00:17:09,311 --> 00:17:11,204 He's gonna give it to Pat. 412 00:17:11,229 --> 00:17:12,956 He's gonna let Pat know 413 00:17:12,980 --> 00:17:16,181 that he will be judged on a different plane. 414 00:17:16,416 --> 00:17:17,966 He's finishing him. 415 00:17:18,017 --> 00:17:21,223 So much blood, rivers of blood! 416 00:17:21,325 --> 00:17:24,237 Oh, there's no coming back from this one, Pat. 417 00:17:24,284 --> 00:17:26,369 This is it for you, Pat. 418 00:17:26,651 --> 00:17:27,883 He's done it! 419 00:17:27,908 --> 00:17:31,135 Oh, God, yes! He's done it! 420 00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:35,834 Pat's dead! Pat's dead. 421 00:17:36,079 --> 00:17:37,912 Aah! 422 00:17:45,009 --> 00:17:46,642 What the hell was that? 423 00:17:46,667 --> 00:17:48,406 Well, I think it was pretty self-explanatory. 424 00:17:48,431 --> 00:17:49,699 I took care of beeswax. 425 00:17:49,724 --> 00:17:51,050 Three cheers for Tandy, huh? 426 00:17:51,075 --> 00:17:53,536 - Oh, Carol. Huzzah! - Hip, hip, huzzah! 427 00:17:53,561 --> 00:17:55,676 - Hip, hip, huzzah! Join in... - Huzzah! 428 00:17:55,701 --> 00:17:57,131 join in. Hip, hip, 429 00:17:57,156 --> 00:17:58,336 - huzzah! - Huzzah. 430 00:17:58,361 --> 00:17:59,365 That was not Pat. 431 00:17:59,928 --> 00:18:00,900 Yeah, that was fake. 432 00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:03,318 - How do you know? - GAIL: Pretty sure Pat's body's 433 00:18:03,343 --> 00:18:04,540 not made of foam. 434 00:18:04,572 --> 00:18:07,149 We don't know everything about everyone. 435 00:18:07,174 --> 00:18:09,156 Yeah, come on. The threat is over. 436 00:18:09,181 --> 00:18:10,730 Now can we just move on? 437 00:18:10,755 --> 00:18:12,790 Damn it, Tandy, I've had enough of this. 438 00:18:12,815 --> 00:18:14,742 And I've had enough of you. 439 00:18:14,767 --> 00:18:16,382 You shut the hell up! 440 00:18:16,633 --> 00:18:18,370 Just shut your stupid mouth 441 00:18:18,395 --> 00:18:20,479 and you listen to me for a change! 442 00:18:20,967 --> 00:18:22,449 Do we look like idiots? 443 00:18:25,188 --> 00:18:26,342 Tandy. 444 00:18:26,931 --> 00:18:30,222 Do we look like idiots? 445 00:18:33,441 --> 00:18:34,266 No. 446 00:18:34,421 --> 00:18:36,337 Then why do you treat us like idiots? 447 00:18:39,330 --> 00:18:40,489 Now, just know 448 00:18:41,014 --> 00:18:43,742 that we all already know the answer to this. 449 00:18:44,531 --> 00:18:45,893 But I want to hear you say it. 450 00:18:48,565 --> 00:18:50,243 Was that Pat? 451 00:18:53,106 --> 00:18:54,203 No. 452 00:18:55,241 --> 00:18:56,956 Is Pat alive? 453 00:18:59,016 --> 00:19:00,181 No. 454 00:19:00,967 --> 00:19:02,878 So what possible reason do you have 455 00:19:02,903 --> 00:19:04,986 to lie to us like this? 456 00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:11,971 I killed him, didn't I? 457 00:19:29,767 --> 00:19:31,123 (sniffles) 458 00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,538 I didn't want you to have to live with that. 459 00:19:38,653 --> 00:19:40,549 Thank you, buddy. 460 00:19:40,927 --> 00:19:43,511 That's the nicest thing anybody's ever done for me. 461 00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,089 TANDY: So, I really wanted you guys 462 00:20:10,114 --> 00:20:12,450 to feel the essence of Pat here, you know? 463 00:20:12,475 --> 00:20:13,749 Get into his psyche. 464 00:20:14,513 --> 00:20:16,049 So this was all you? 465 00:20:16,428 --> 00:20:17,285 Yeah. 466 00:20:17,310 --> 00:20:18,787 It's pretty good, huh? 467 00:20:19,006 --> 00:20:21,398 See, I even, uh, misspelled the word "totally." 468 00:20:21,423 --> 00:20:23,294 Threw two Ls in there. (scoffs) 469 00:20:23,319 --> 00:20:25,654 - No, that's spelled correctly. - Huh. 470 00:20:25,701 --> 00:20:27,716 Tandy, did you take a dump in the... 471 00:20:27,741 --> 00:20:28,881 Yeah. 472 00:20:30,540 --> 00:20:31,327 ERICA: You know, Tandy, 473 00:20:31,352 --> 00:20:33,911 you could have just told Todd you came back to the house, 474 00:20:33,936 --> 00:20:35,853 saw Pat alive, and killed him yourself. 475 00:20:38,265 --> 00:20:41,035 - Yeah. - How'd you get rid of the boat? 476 00:20:41,105 --> 00:20:42,217 Did you sink it? 477 00:20:43,387 --> 00:20:44,885 What? 478 00:20:48,094 --> 00:20:49,677 Oh, my God. 479 00:20:58,962 --> 00:21:00,098 He gone. 480 00:21:02,716 --> 00:21:07,716 Synced and corrected by Octavia - www.addic7ed.com -