1 00:00:00,705 --> 00:00:02,574 I've been accused of a crime and there is 2 00:00:02,574 --> 00:00:04,895 I think, a presumption of guilt. 3 00:00:04,895 --> 00:00:09,495 Rebecca Thornton alleges that you raped her on the film set of Japes. 4 00:00:09,495 --> 00:00:12,495 Ordinary woman. Looks average. Is average. What if you did it to me? 5 00:00:12,495 --> 00:00:14,135 I envy you, Paul. 6 00:00:14,135 --> 00:00:17,335 Your wife loves you, your daughter loves you. Even I love you. 7 00:00:17,335 --> 00:00:20,375 Everybody wants to be a victim these days, 8 00:00:20,375 --> 00:00:22,855 because it makes life so much easier to explain, 9 00:00:22,855 --> 00:00:26,095 but I will not let you use him as an excuse for a life poorly led. 10 00:00:26,095 --> 00:00:28,175 I don't have the answers to this. 11 00:00:28,175 --> 00:00:31,615 You keep looking at me as if you expect me to have answers. 12 00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:34,375 I choose to believe him. 13 00:00:34,375 --> 00:00:35,535 Do you understand that? 14 00:00:41,695 --> 00:00:49,695 This programme contains strong language and adult content. 15 00:02:23,575 --> 00:02:25,295 The soap's broke. 16 00:02:25,295 --> 00:02:29,175 Sorry? The soap dispenser, it's broken. That's broken. 17 00:02:31,575 --> 00:02:33,735 It's Rebecca. Rebecca Thornton, am I right? 18 00:02:33,735 --> 00:02:34,935 Yeah. 19 00:02:36,415 --> 00:02:37,815 I know who you are, too. 20 00:02:39,095 --> 00:02:41,175 Are you here with him, then? I'd better go. 21 00:02:41,175 --> 00:02:43,415 I was really sorry to hear about your daughter. 22 00:02:43,415 --> 00:02:45,055 Thank you. You were there, I think. 23 00:02:45,055 --> 00:02:47,775 I served you lunch. In Bedford, I mean. 24 00:02:50,735 --> 00:02:53,895 I'm not lying. I'm really not lying. 25 00:02:55,855 --> 00:02:58,455 It's not about punishing him or anything like that. 26 00:03:00,295 --> 00:03:03,255 I just feel like, if I don't get this straight in my head now, 27 00:03:03,255 --> 00:03:04,895 I'll never, ever be happy. 28 00:03:07,455 --> 00:03:10,535 He did do this to me. And to you. 29 00:03:13,295 --> 00:03:16,055 In fact, I feel like I'm doing this for you. 30 00:03:17,255 --> 00:03:18,695 For you and your daughter. 31 00:03:21,255 --> 00:03:23,815 I feel like I'm saying what you should have said... 32 00:03:25,015 --> 00:03:26,335 ..a long time ago. 33 00:03:28,895 --> 00:03:29,895 OK. 34 00:03:43,615 --> 00:03:45,455 Marie, Zoe. 35 00:03:46,295 --> 00:03:47,735 Zoe, Marie. 36 00:03:47,735 --> 00:03:49,895 Zoe is the woman who's going to get your man off. 37 00:03:49,895 --> 00:03:53,615 Pleasure to meet you. Are you OK? You look a bit peaky. I'm fine. 38 00:03:53,615 --> 00:03:55,455 This is just a simple one. 39 00:03:55,455 --> 00:03:58,375 The judge sets a date for the trial, blah, blah, blah. 40 00:03:58,375 --> 00:04:01,215 The important thing is, then they've got 42 days to give us 41 00:04:01,215 --> 00:04:02,975 everything they've got against you. 42 00:04:04,375 --> 00:04:06,535 If I was a betting man, I'd bet they've got fuck all. 43 00:04:06,535 --> 00:04:10,775 She's just told me I was there that day. What are the bets on that? 44 00:04:14,695 --> 00:04:16,175 Shit. 45 00:04:18,255 --> 00:04:20,095 You go ahead. 46 00:04:20,095 --> 00:04:23,335 I'll divert them. Just be careful of them. Mm-hm. 47 00:04:24,615 --> 00:04:25,895 Not so tight. 48 00:04:28,775 --> 00:04:31,255 I'm a very grateful man today. 49 00:04:31,255 --> 00:04:34,455 Grateful because my daughter is finally out of her coma. 50 00:04:34,455 --> 00:04:36,695 I'm grateful, too, that no-one else was harmed. 51 00:04:46,255 --> 00:04:50,175 I don't like hospitals. Nobody likes hospitals. 52 00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,975 I think Grandad will have to join us later, Billy. 53 00:04:59,975 --> 00:05:02,455 I've decided I want to be called Bill from now on. 54 00:05:02,455 --> 00:05:04,615 OK...Bill. 55 00:05:06,775 --> 00:05:07,815 Is she, um... 56 00:05:08,815 --> 00:05:10,655 Does she look... Do you want to see a photo? 57 00:05:14,415 --> 00:05:18,975 I took this for Grandad, while she was sleeping. 58 00:05:18,975 --> 00:05:21,255 She wasn't sleeping, she was in a coma. 59 00:05:22,335 --> 00:05:23,335 Yeah. 60 00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:29,135 OK? 61 00:05:32,135 --> 00:05:34,175 Hello. Hello! 62 00:05:35,255 --> 00:05:37,815 Could you hear us talking outside your door? 63 00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:39,255 Yes, Bill. 64 00:05:43,735 --> 00:05:45,135 It's very good to see you. 65 00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:49,095 I'm sorry I look like this. 66 00:05:49,095 --> 00:05:50,295 It's OK. 67 00:05:53,055 --> 00:05:57,615 How are you doing? Frances said she's going to come, later. 68 00:05:58,935 --> 00:06:01,615 She wanted me to come first and she made you a card. 69 00:06:15,135 --> 00:06:16,935 Very nice. 70 00:06:16,935 --> 00:06:19,295 Can you tell her it's very nice? 71 00:06:19,295 --> 00:06:20,175 Yeah. 72 00:06:21,455 --> 00:06:22,335 This... 73 00:06:23,775 --> 00:06:25,615 I didn't mean... 74 00:06:25,615 --> 00:06:27,655 You understand, I wasn't myself. 75 00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:28,895 Yeah. 76 00:06:30,935 --> 00:06:32,535 Yeah. I have... 77 00:06:37,615 --> 00:06:39,135 SHE SIGHS 78 00:06:40,575 --> 00:06:42,975 Dad told me all about it, Mum, OK? 79 00:06:43,975 --> 00:06:44,975 It's fine. 80 00:06:45,935 --> 00:06:48,335 All about what? 81 00:06:48,335 --> 00:06:52,095 What you're like and what you've done before. And that you love me 82 00:06:52,095 --> 00:06:53,975 and I should try to remember that. 83 00:06:56,775 --> 00:06:57,695 I do love you. 84 00:07:04,335 --> 00:07:06,175 Do you mind if I go now? 85 00:07:11,575 --> 00:07:12,775 Billy. 86 00:07:14,895 --> 00:07:16,255 I'm going to go. 87 00:07:28,135 --> 00:07:32,575 I don't know whether to go after him or just let him cry. 88 00:07:32,575 --> 00:07:34,495 What have I done? 89 00:07:34,495 --> 00:07:36,535 You've done what you do. 90 00:07:40,455 --> 00:07:42,055 I'm sorry. 91 00:07:44,655 --> 00:07:45,615 That's not what... 92 00:07:48,695 --> 00:07:50,895 I'll go and get Billy and find your dad. 93 00:07:57,655 --> 00:07:58,775 This isn't... 94 00:08:01,295 --> 00:08:04,055 This is really too much for all of us, isn't it? 95 00:08:09,495 --> 00:08:10,775 I'm pleased you're OK. 96 00:08:11,735 --> 00:08:13,135 We all are. 97 00:08:26,295 --> 00:08:28,175 Just got caught up on the phone, you know. 98 00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:29,775 A phone call? 99 00:08:32,375 --> 00:08:34,055 Bill was very brave. 100 00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:36,655 Good. Good, Billy, good. 101 00:08:36,655 --> 00:08:38,975 Bill. He wants to be called Bill now. Oh. 102 00:08:40,695 --> 00:08:43,415 Great...Bill. I like that. 103 00:08:49,935 --> 00:08:51,255 I'll see you tomorrow. 104 00:08:54,295 --> 00:08:56,655 'Dee? Dee!' 105 00:08:56,655 --> 00:08:59,015 I don't have time for this! 106 00:08:59,015 --> 00:09:00,935 Then, go and leave me alone! 107 00:09:00,935 --> 00:09:05,175 You're going to school. And before you claim you're sick, 108 00:09:05,175 --> 00:09:07,055 I'm pretty sure a hangover's not contagious. 109 00:09:07,055 --> 00:09:11,935 The time before the time again, the way time turns, it turns again. 110 00:09:11,935 --> 00:09:13,575 I have no idea what that means. 111 00:09:13,575 --> 00:09:18,135 I don't want to go to school today. Do you have a good reason why not? 112 00:09:25,135 --> 00:09:26,695 No. 113 00:09:29,295 --> 00:09:32,655 Well, then, come on, then. Leo specifically requested me on set... 114 00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:34,855 What does he want from you this time? 115 00:09:34,855 --> 00:09:36,255 I won't ask again! 116 00:09:36,255 --> 00:09:37,255 OK. 117 00:09:52,975 --> 00:09:54,135 14 boxes. 118 00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:57,455 Of what? They delivered everything they have, and they're early. 119 00:09:57,455 --> 00:10:01,695 Is that a problem? It's good, it's tit-for-tat. 120 00:10:01,695 --> 00:10:03,695 We give them the tit, tell them that 121 00:10:03,695 --> 00:10:05,255 their witness is lying about the Chevy - 122 00:10:05,255 --> 00:10:07,975 thank you broken, tail light, thank you, Jerry. 123 00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:09,615 This is their tat back. 124 00:10:09,615 --> 00:10:12,215 They are trying to catch us on the hop, bury us. 125 00:10:12,215 --> 00:10:13,695 Their tat looks pretty thorough. 126 00:10:13,695 --> 00:10:17,095 That's just the evidence they intend to use, not the evidence they don't. 127 00:10:17,095 --> 00:10:18,855 We've got a schedule for that. 128 00:10:18,855 --> 00:10:21,575 Got to go through that too, mark what we want. 129 00:10:21,575 --> 00:10:23,495 I'm hoping for at least eight more boxes. 130 00:10:23,495 --> 00:10:24,615 At least. 131 00:10:25,895 --> 00:10:28,655 Anyway, we're combing through, finding the nits. 132 00:10:28,655 --> 00:10:32,415 And one chewy bit - Rebecca claims that during the attack, 133 00:10:32,415 --> 00:10:33,735 a runner knocked on the door 134 00:10:33,735 --> 00:10:36,495 alerting Paul that he had a prior appointment. A runner? 135 00:10:36,495 --> 00:10:38,415 Isn't that what you call them? 136 00:10:38,415 --> 00:10:41,455 Anyway, someone might have heard something. 137 00:10:41,455 --> 00:10:44,375 Rebecca can't decide, though, if it was a man or a woman that knocked. 138 00:10:44,375 --> 00:10:48,455 So, they are looking for him or her, but they haven't found him or her. 139 00:10:48,455 --> 00:10:49,855 It's all pretty desperate. 140 00:10:49,855 --> 00:10:52,495 Even the press has turned. 141 00:10:52,495 --> 00:10:55,615 Your Danielle has done us a favour. 142 00:10:55,615 --> 00:10:58,015 Has she? The note was a masterstroke. 143 00:10:58,015 --> 00:11:00,295 "I choose to believe." 144 00:11:00,295 --> 00:11:02,695 I mean, they could have bit us on the bum, 145 00:11:02,695 --> 00:11:06,535 but it turns out that driving a car into a complainant's house 146 00:11:06,535 --> 00:11:08,975 has actually been interpreted as, "My daddy's innocent, 147 00:11:08,975 --> 00:11:10,695 "and this is how much I mean it." 148 00:11:12,575 --> 00:11:15,615 And thank God, she's OK. 149 00:11:18,535 --> 00:11:20,655 OK. We need you in two different rooms. 150 00:11:20,655 --> 00:11:22,615 Paul, you are in our evidential suite. 151 00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:24,855 Marie, you're with Zoe, she asked for some time. 152 00:11:24,855 --> 00:11:28,815 With me? She charges 400 an hour, so answer well, but answer quickly, 153 00:11:28,815 --> 00:11:30,135 OK? 154 00:11:30,135 --> 00:11:33,135 Are they likely to call me in the trial? 155 00:11:33,135 --> 00:11:34,575 Them? 156 00:11:34,575 --> 00:11:35,975 No. 157 00:11:35,975 --> 00:11:38,615 Always backfires, calling the wife. 158 00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:40,215 Backfires? Why? 159 00:11:40,215 --> 00:11:43,175 They can't go after you too hard, juries don't like it. 160 00:11:43,175 --> 00:11:45,895 And going after you soft risks the juries thinking, well, 161 00:11:45,895 --> 00:11:48,935 if this woman can love him, then why can't we? 162 00:11:48,935 --> 00:11:50,855 Sounds almost like a game. 163 00:11:51,975 --> 00:11:53,895 We might call you. 164 00:11:53,895 --> 00:11:55,455 Maybe. 165 00:11:55,455 --> 00:11:58,655 It depends on whether we think it would benefit the case or not. 166 00:11:58,655 --> 00:12:00,575 So this is an audition? 167 00:12:00,575 --> 00:12:03,055 Tell me about him. What would you like to know? 168 00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:04,855 A happy marriage? 169 00:12:04,855 --> 00:12:06,695 Well, we're still in love. 170 00:12:06,695 --> 00:12:09,015 I consider that an achievement. 171 00:12:09,015 --> 00:12:10,815 I still love him, he still loves me. 172 00:12:10,815 --> 00:12:13,135 That is an achievement. 173 00:12:13,135 --> 00:12:14,775 And, the infidelity. 174 00:12:16,375 --> 00:12:18,815 He slips. Regularly? 175 00:12:18,815 --> 00:12:22,535 Yes. There's talk you have some sort of deal with him. 176 00:12:22,535 --> 00:12:25,775 Not a deal. I just ask that he be honest. 177 00:12:25,775 --> 00:12:27,775 And is he honest? 178 00:12:27,775 --> 00:12:30,535 Yes, I believe so. So if he were to, say, 179 00:12:30,535 --> 00:12:33,855 sleep with someone in this office, he'd tell you about it? 180 00:12:35,415 --> 00:12:37,415 Yeah. How soon after the event? 181 00:12:38,335 --> 00:12:42,855 Next time I saw him. And that honesty, it doesn't hurt? 182 00:12:42,855 --> 00:12:45,735 It sounds quite raw, to me. 183 00:12:45,735 --> 00:12:47,575 Well, that's a negative way of putting things. 184 00:12:47,575 --> 00:12:51,055 What's a positive? That I trust that he loves me. 185 00:12:51,055 --> 00:12:54,095 Better, well, I know that he loves me. 186 00:12:54,095 --> 00:12:58,615 And that these weaknesses are not relevant to that. 187 00:12:58,615 --> 00:12:59,895 It's a Catholic thing? 188 00:13:01,135 --> 00:13:02,575 No. 189 00:13:02,575 --> 00:13:03,895 It's a love thing. 190 00:13:07,295 --> 00:13:10,415 I'm going to need to ask you some questions about your sex life. 191 00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:12,895 I'm fully prepared to answer any questions. 192 00:13:12,895 --> 00:13:15,655 Good. Paul has a large sexual appetite? 193 00:13:15,655 --> 00:13:17,895 Well... 194 00:13:17,895 --> 00:13:20,375 I'm the wrong woman to ask. 195 00:13:20,375 --> 00:13:22,175 I've never slept with another man. 196 00:13:22,175 --> 00:13:24,415 How many times a month would you say you had sex? 197 00:13:24,415 --> 00:13:25,895 Don't mind me. 198 00:13:27,335 --> 00:13:29,415 Er, twice a week. 199 00:13:29,415 --> 00:13:33,615 I suppose that's eight times a month, maybe more. 200 00:13:33,615 --> 00:13:36,575 Is that above average? 201 00:13:36,575 --> 00:13:38,375 Do you have a regular position? 202 00:13:38,375 --> 00:13:40,455 Missionary? You on top? 203 00:13:40,455 --> 00:13:42,455 Well, my husband's a big man, 204 00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:44,615 so it tends to be me on top. 205 00:13:44,615 --> 00:13:47,135 Is the sex ever violent? 206 00:13:47,135 --> 00:13:49,255 No. Never in fun? 207 00:13:49,255 --> 00:13:51,415 He never pins you to the bed, never holds your wrists, 208 00:13:51,415 --> 00:13:52,695 never pulls your hair? 209 00:13:54,335 --> 00:13:56,415 No, no, no, none of those things, no. 210 00:13:56,415 --> 00:13:59,095 Has he ever asked you to do anything you're not comfortable with? 211 00:13:59,095 --> 00:14:01,815 No. He's never objectified you? 212 00:14:01,815 --> 00:14:04,495 Never asked you to perform with other men or women? 213 00:14:04,495 --> 00:14:05,775 No. 214 00:14:06,935 --> 00:14:10,335 Has he ever had sex with you without consent? 215 00:14:10,335 --> 00:14:12,055 No. No. 216 00:14:12,055 --> 00:14:15,175 There has been no time when you've felt reluctant 217 00:14:15,175 --> 00:14:17,535 and he's forced himself upon you? No. 218 00:14:18,975 --> 00:14:21,335 Do you consider the sex to be loving? 219 00:14:23,495 --> 00:14:25,535 Well of course, always. 220 00:14:25,535 --> 00:14:28,215 And yet he has sex with other women? 221 00:14:28,215 --> 00:14:31,095 Yes. Do you think that sex is loving? 222 00:14:31,095 --> 00:14:32,895 The sex he has with other women? 223 00:14:32,895 --> 00:14:36,415 Is that relevant to your deal... sorry, your arrangement? 224 00:14:39,815 --> 00:14:42,895 No, I don't think that that sex is loving. 225 00:14:42,895 --> 00:14:46,055 And I don't like my husband for feeling that he needs it, 226 00:14:46,055 --> 00:14:49,495 but in the absence of my being able to persuade him of that, 227 00:14:49,495 --> 00:14:51,135 I hold on to what I have. 228 00:14:52,215 --> 00:14:53,495 My family. 229 00:15:25,855 --> 00:15:27,135 Great news about Dee! 230 00:15:28,655 --> 00:15:30,455 Yeah, great. 231 00:15:30,455 --> 00:15:32,415 We're still with you, you know that? 232 00:15:36,735 --> 00:15:39,215 Ready? And, action! 233 00:15:39,215 --> 00:15:41,815 You see, the problem is, you thought it was solid ground. 234 00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:43,455 The problem was... It wasn't solid. 235 00:15:43,455 --> 00:15:45,415 In many ways, it's the opposite of solid. 236 00:15:45,415 --> 00:15:46,855 It's the water that did it. 237 00:15:46,855 --> 00:15:48,695 You know what water and mud make? 238 00:15:48,695 --> 00:15:51,495 Puddles? Trouble. That's what they make, my old mate. 239 00:15:51,495 --> 00:15:53,815 Trouble. I was expecting you to say something 240 00:15:53,815 --> 00:15:55,655 about it being good for ducks. 241 00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:58,535 Now, never trust a man or animal with a beak. 242 00:15:58,535 --> 00:16:00,655 My mother always told me, and my father had a beak. 243 00:16:00,655 --> 00:16:02,575 Well, as interesting as your mother is... 244 00:16:02,575 --> 00:16:05,015 They had to take him to the doctor in the end, my dad. 245 00:16:05,015 --> 00:16:06,895 You should have seen the bill! 246 00:16:06,895 --> 00:16:08,855 Oh, for fuck's sake! 247 00:16:08,855 --> 00:16:10,135 Cut! Reset. 248 00:16:11,775 --> 00:16:14,375 It's like a monkey driving a bus. 249 00:16:14,375 --> 00:16:17,215 I just don't understand how this is my problem. 250 00:16:17,215 --> 00:16:19,095 Ratings are down. 251 00:16:19,095 --> 00:16:21,935 I know. The channel may look to make some changes. 252 00:16:21,935 --> 00:16:23,695 I don't want the change to involve a beautiful, 253 00:16:23,695 --> 00:16:25,735 moving death scene of one of my main characters. 254 00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:26,775 They'd do that? 255 00:16:26,775 --> 00:16:29,455 Can I just say my balls ache, it's fucking cold in here! 256 00:16:29,455 --> 00:16:31,175 He seems to think the problem is Carl. 257 00:16:31,175 --> 00:16:33,935 Can we do something about Paul's balls, please? 258 00:16:33,935 --> 00:16:36,535 He's wrong. 259 00:16:36,535 --> 00:16:38,495 'I don't want you overreacting.' 260 00:16:38,495 --> 00:16:40,615 They don't understand, he's slowing things down, 261 00:16:40,615 --> 00:16:43,975 stopping me actually. I know he's always improvised... They like what he's doing. 262 00:16:43,975 --> 00:16:46,375 They just want you to try to match his energy. 263 00:16:46,375 --> 00:16:48,175 Well, then, even more time will be wasted. 264 00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:49,615 You're not listening. 265 00:16:49,615 --> 00:16:52,655 They want two of him. 266 00:16:52,655 --> 00:16:53,975 Not two of you. 267 00:16:57,175 --> 00:16:58,415 The ratings are down. 268 00:16:58,415 --> 00:17:00,815 And they want to try to refocus the show slightly, 269 00:17:00,815 --> 00:17:04,055 and they want to be sure that you're not going to make that difficult 270 00:17:04,055 --> 00:17:06,135 for them. In particular, difficult for Carl. 271 00:17:06,135 --> 00:17:08,215 Where's Leo telling me all of this? 272 00:17:08,215 --> 00:17:11,815 Good question. But I am. 273 00:17:11,815 --> 00:17:15,135 And that's OK. Spineless cunt. 274 00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:18,495 You know the one thing I've always admired about you? 275 00:17:18,495 --> 00:17:20,895 Your ability to adjust. 276 00:17:20,895 --> 00:17:25,975 When one thing doesn't work, there's always another thing. 277 00:17:25,975 --> 00:17:28,895 And that's how you tell me to cope with our daughter. 278 00:17:30,815 --> 00:17:33,575 What's your phrase? "Survival is momentum." 279 00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:38,855 This is only humiliating if you let it be. 280 00:17:41,415 --> 00:17:43,335 You used the word, 281 00:17:43,335 --> 00:17:45,095 I didn't. 282 00:17:45,095 --> 00:17:47,335 I'm going for a smoke. Paul. 283 00:17:47,335 --> 00:17:48,775 I smoke alone. 284 00:18:00,415 --> 00:18:02,055 Thank you. 285 00:18:02,055 --> 00:18:03,895 Not at all. 286 00:18:03,895 --> 00:18:05,775 I was delighted you came round. 287 00:18:08,415 --> 00:18:10,455 You can't remember? 288 00:18:10,455 --> 00:18:12,255 No. I don't. 289 00:18:12,255 --> 00:18:15,375 1980, you, me and him. 290 00:18:15,375 --> 00:18:17,975 After the first series of Crooked Peaks. 291 00:18:17,975 --> 00:18:21,215 Japes wasn't even a twinkle in the channel controller's eye. 292 00:18:21,215 --> 00:18:23,495 I don't remember. 293 00:18:25,415 --> 00:18:28,175 You said you needed a swim. 294 00:18:28,175 --> 00:18:30,935 It was midnight, we didn't have our swimming gear with us. 295 00:18:30,935 --> 00:18:32,855 What, we went in naked? 296 00:18:33,735 --> 00:18:35,855 You were so forthright about it. 297 00:18:35,855 --> 00:18:38,535 Stripping before we'd even had a chance to think. 298 00:18:38,535 --> 00:18:40,335 No. I don't remember this at all. 299 00:18:40,335 --> 00:18:43,535 I was still... not used to women. 300 00:18:43,535 --> 00:18:45,335 I'd slept with maybe three. 301 00:18:46,495 --> 00:18:47,935 Not in my underwear? 302 00:18:50,015 --> 00:18:52,615 I said to him that night, 303 00:18:52,615 --> 00:18:56,615 "If you ever get tired of her, I'd love to take her out." 304 00:18:56,615 --> 00:19:00,575 That's a very strange thing to say, ask permission. 305 00:19:00,575 --> 00:19:05,575 Well, I needed to check how serious he was about you. 306 00:19:06,815 --> 00:19:08,255 What did he say? 307 00:19:08,255 --> 00:19:09,615 He said... 308 00:19:11,015 --> 00:19:13,575 ..he didn't think he was tired of you, 309 00:19:13,575 --> 00:19:15,655 he wasn't sure he ever would be. 310 00:19:34,135 --> 00:19:35,655 Come on then, in we go! 311 00:19:43,175 --> 00:19:46,055 I loved those times with the two of you. 312 00:19:47,375 --> 00:19:49,775 Those were the times I loved most of all. 313 00:19:54,055 --> 00:19:56,935 I meant what I said, while we were washing up. 314 00:19:56,935 --> 00:20:00,375 That if he does need to spend some time in jail, 315 00:20:00,375 --> 00:20:03,135 I wanted you to know you can be looked after. 316 00:20:03,135 --> 00:20:04,535 That you have options. 317 00:20:05,775 --> 00:20:08,935 Wow. So, er... 318 00:20:08,935 --> 00:20:12,615 if he's found guilty, I divorce him and marry you? 319 00:20:13,575 --> 00:20:16,055 Light entertainment's most eligible pensioner? 320 00:20:16,055 --> 00:20:17,615 I never actually... I'm a mother! 321 00:20:17,615 --> 00:20:19,735 Dee's a grown woman. 322 00:20:19,735 --> 00:20:23,015 And how many stepfathers can claim to have changed a child's nappies? 323 00:20:23,015 --> 00:20:25,855 Carl, I've never known you date a woman over 40! 324 00:20:25,855 --> 00:20:28,215 I don't have the body of a 40-year-old. 325 00:20:28,215 --> 00:20:30,375 One minute you're telling me to stand by him, 326 00:20:30,375 --> 00:20:32,735 the next minute you're telling me to run off with you! 327 00:20:32,735 --> 00:20:34,455 I didn't say... It wasn't... 328 00:20:34,455 --> 00:20:36,055 You're not sure what you mean. 329 00:20:36,055 --> 00:20:37,575 Well, I know how I feel. 330 00:20:37,575 --> 00:20:39,335 It's not much, but it's all I've got. 331 00:20:44,295 --> 00:20:46,895 I don't want him to be guilty, either. 332 00:20:46,895 --> 00:20:48,295 You think I want that? 333 00:20:50,095 --> 00:20:51,615 I mean, 334 00:20:51,615 --> 00:20:54,255 all the things I could have told the police. 335 00:20:54,255 --> 00:20:55,935 It's not about me being an opportunist, 336 00:20:55,935 --> 00:20:59,015 it's just stating for the record... What could you have told the police? 337 00:20:59,015 --> 00:21:00,935 I've always wanted to be with you 338 00:21:00,935 --> 00:21:03,095 more than I've ever wanted to be with anyone else. 339 00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,015 What could you have told the police, Carl? 340 00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:06,735 About all the infidelity. 341 00:21:09,855 --> 00:21:11,095 Marie, I love you. 342 00:21:11,095 --> 00:21:12,175 Ohh! 343 00:21:13,495 --> 00:21:18,055 Do you know what? I've decided, I don't mind people looking anymore. 344 00:21:18,055 --> 00:21:20,815 I don't even mind the cuntsing church judging me, 345 00:21:20,815 --> 00:21:23,375 because it's a kind of honesty, and they should look. 346 00:21:23,375 --> 00:21:25,575 Because I may have married a monster, 347 00:21:25,575 --> 00:21:28,055 and I'm the clue to who that monster really is. 348 00:21:28,055 --> 00:21:30,935 Me, I'm it, and I am bored with dishonesty. 349 00:21:30,935 --> 00:21:32,535 I'm not being dishonest. 350 00:21:34,135 --> 00:21:38,135 Carl, you don't love me. 351 00:21:39,535 --> 00:21:42,775 I'm just the closest thing you've got to an excuse 352 00:21:42,775 --> 00:21:44,335 for not loving anyone else. 353 00:21:44,335 --> 00:21:46,935 An excuse for a loveless life. 354 00:21:46,935 --> 00:21:48,855 And I can't be weak. 355 00:21:49,855 --> 00:21:54,295 I am surrounded by weakness and I can't be weak. 356 00:21:54,295 --> 00:21:55,335 I just can't be. 357 00:21:57,135 --> 00:22:00,295 And I'm sorry if you never found the one. 358 00:22:00,295 --> 00:22:03,415 But me? No. 359 00:22:03,415 --> 00:22:04,855 I'm not it. 360 00:22:06,175 --> 00:22:07,495 I can promise you that. 361 00:22:16,015 --> 00:22:20,095 'anything of great subtance, but it was absolutely delicious. 362 00:22:20,095 --> 00:22:23,175 'And there was a little spice in there, and I just remember...' 363 00:22:33,495 --> 00:22:35,055 Just spent the last few hours 364 00:22:35,055 --> 00:22:38,695 watching the edited highlights of your porn collection. 365 00:22:38,695 --> 00:22:40,775 OK... 366 00:22:40,775 --> 00:22:42,095 Oh! Nice. 367 00:22:44,655 --> 00:22:45,655 Posh! 368 00:22:47,335 --> 00:22:48,335 Anyway... 369 00:22:50,055 --> 00:22:52,975 ..bit of a breakthrough in the unused prosecution evidence. 370 00:22:52,975 --> 00:22:54,375 Not sure they've noticed it. 371 00:22:54,375 --> 00:22:57,575 Been logged without thought, you see. Junior detective. 372 00:22:58,775 --> 00:23:02,575 Anyway, fan letters, via your agency, from Rebecca to you, 373 00:23:02,575 --> 00:23:04,615 Nice standard letters, nothing sexy. 374 00:23:04,615 --> 00:23:06,535 "Dear Paul, I just wanted to apologise 375 00:23:06,535 --> 00:23:10,055 "for missing your public appearance in Sheffield last week." 376 00:23:10,055 --> 00:23:11,535 No, don't read the letter. 377 00:23:12,895 --> 00:23:16,255 Look at the envelope. Notice the postmark? 378 00:23:16,255 --> 00:23:18,335 That's what the detective missed. 379 00:23:20,215 --> 00:23:22,415 This is after. She sent me this after. 380 00:23:22,415 --> 00:23:26,495 See, none of this sex case stuff, you know, it's never about... 381 00:23:26,495 --> 00:23:28,015 You always expect it'll be a revelation 382 00:23:28,015 --> 00:23:30,695 when you understand everything, when everything becomes clear, 383 00:23:30,695 --> 00:23:32,975 you know, it's the handkerchief with blood on 384 00:23:32,975 --> 00:23:35,335 held by Colonel Mustard in the Billiards Room. 385 00:23:35,335 --> 00:23:37,375 But surely this solves it. 386 00:23:37,375 --> 00:23:40,255 What it fundamentally is about is credibility, 387 00:23:40,255 --> 00:23:41,655 and these letters are good. 388 00:23:41,655 --> 00:23:44,775 But confused young girl sends letters to famous man - 389 00:23:44,775 --> 00:23:46,535 you know, it's not proof. 390 00:23:47,815 --> 00:23:51,015 She sent me fan mail after she said I raped her. 391 00:23:51,015 --> 00:23:53,215 I know, and you imagine that'd be enough, 392 00:23:53,215 --> 00:23:56,055 but the truth is, you're a celebrity, she's a girl. 393 00:23:56,055 --> 00:23:58,015 They know you fucked everything, 394 00:23:58,015 --> 00:24:00,295 they know she's confused and vulnerable. 395 00:24:00,295 --> 00:24:02,735 And when she's able to describe you quite intimately, 396 00:24:02,735 --> 00:24:04,615 which she may be able to, I'd say, 397 00:24:04,615 --> 00:24:08,095 "Nah. He definitely touched her, definitely rape," 398 00:24:08,095 --> 00:24:09,135 if I was a juror. 399 00:24:10,495 --> 00:24:11,695 I don't understand. 400 00:24:11,695 --> 00:24:14,295 Now, I haven't shown Jerome these yet, these letters, 401 00:24:14,295 --> 00:24:15,935 cos I wanted to chat to you first, 402 00:24:15,935 --> 00:24:18,135 so this is off the record, OK? 403 00:24:18,135 --> 00:24:21,215 Just a friend giving another friend some advice. OK. 404 00:24:21,215 --> 00:24:23,215 Right, imagine another scenario. 405 00:24:23,215 --> 00:24:26,215 You tell the jury we had sex. 406 00:24:26,215 --> 00:24:28,495 She regretted it, got a bit obsessive about it, 407 00:24:28,495 --> 00:24:31,775 her mind turned it from bad sex into rape. 408 00:24:31,775 --> 00:24:33,855 As a juror, I'd believe that. 409 00:24:35,295 --> 00:24:36,655 We had sex? 410 00:24:36,655 --> 00:24:39,495 It was a long time ago, a lot of women ago. 411 00:24:39,495 --> 00:24:40,535 But that would... 412 00:24:41,935 --> 00:24:44,295 I'd lie on the stand? 413 00:24:44,295 --> 00:24:45,775 Unhelpful word, "lie". 414 00:24:45,775 --> 00:24:49,215 It's good strategy, solves the problem, fills a hole. 415 00:24:49,215 --> 00:24:51,695 If I was them, I wouldn't like that, me changing my mind. 416 00:24:53,255 --> 00:24:55,855 Good. You're considering it. 417 00:24:57,495 --> 00:24:58,695 I'll leave you to it. 418 00:25:02,655 --> 00:25:04,535 I'm not sure this is a good idea. 419 00:25:04,535 --> 00:25:07,415 By the time Zoe's through with those girls, 420 00:25:07,415 --> 00:25:08,815 everyone will look like 421 00:25:08,815 --> 00:25:11,855 they've changed their minds about everything. 422 00:25:11,855 --> 00:25:15,255 Give it some thought. Like I say, not official advice. 423 00:25:16,895 --> 00:25:18,735 I just like to win, that's all. 424 00:25:19,735 --> 00:25:21,815 Thanks for the coffee. 425 00:25:21,815 --> 00:25:23,815 Oh! One more thing. 426 00:25:27,255 --> 00:25:29,375 Marie. Be careful with her. 427 00:25:29,375 --> 00:25:32,415 With wives, when they crack, they CRACK. 428 00:25:32,415 --> 00:25:34,535 We need her beside us on this one. 429 00:25:34,535 --> 00:25:36,975 I've put Marie through a lot. Never this, though, mate. 430 00:25:38,575 --> 00:25:39,655 Never this. 431 00:25:49,175 --> 00:25:50,575 Oh... 432 00:25:55,255 --> 00:25:57,895 I should have thought to come and collect this. 433 00:25:57,895 --> 00:26:00,855 Well, I wouldn't have wanted you here without me, to be honest. 434 00:26:00,855 --> 00:26:02,855 Do you want some help? No. 435 00:26:05,015 --> 00:26:07,895 'Hello, and welcome to a brand-new series of Smuggle...!' 436 00:26:07,895 --> 00:26:11,455 Why are you watching this? I feel like we should. 437 00:26:11,455 --> 00:26:13,415 'It's fast, it's furious, it's dangerous. 438 00:26:13,415 --> 00:26:15,055 'It's quizzing, ladies and gentlemen. 439 00:26:15,055 --> 00:26:16,815 'It's quizzing.' 440 00:26:16,815 --> 00:26:18,935 'No, honestly, it's an honour to be here 441 00:26:18,935 --> 00:26:20,375 'on a show that I've long admired, 442 00:26:20,375 --> 00:26:22,775 'if only for the fact that this is the one show I've been on 443 00:26:22,775 --> 00:26:25,295 'that my gran would actually choose to watch.' 444 00:26:29,415 --> 00:26:31,735 Aren't you going to answer it? No. 445 00:26:31,735 --> 00:26:33,535 It could be something important. 446 00:26:33,535 --> 00:26:35,975 Well, he'll leave a message, then, won't he? 447 00:26:37,735 --> 00:26:39,735 'Shall we meet the contestants?' 448 00:26:46,695 --> 00:26:48,495 You're angry with him. No. 449 00:26:48,495 --> 00:26:51,855 Are you angry with him cos he's not seen me? No. 450 00:26:51,855 --> 00:26:54,175 Because that's fine, OK? 451 00:26:55,735 --> 00:26:58,335 I feel like I've got a clear head. 452 00:26:58,335 --> 00:27:00,655 The car crash gave you a good spring clean, did it? 453 00:27:00,655 --> 00:27:05,615 I'm just saying that it's safe, like, not to worry about me. 454 00:27:05,615 --> 00:27:08,175 It's safe? Now? 455 00:27:08,175 --> 00:27:11,335 I'm much better...than I have been... 456 00:27:13,335 --> 00:27:14,735 ..in a long, long time. 457 00:27:20,095 --> 00:27:22,295 Time before, 458 00:27:22,295 --> 00:27:24,175 the time again, 459 00:27:24,175 --> 00:27:27,575 the way time turns, it turns again. 460 00:27:31,375 --> 00:27:32,975 Is that a poem? 461 00:27:39,335 --> 00:27:41,055 I'm sorry if I haven't been what you needed. 462 00:27:44,455 --> 00:27:46,455 But it always felt like it was him and you, 463 00:27:46,455 --> 00:27:47,975 and you never even needed me. 464 00:27:50,015 --> 00:27:51,015 And you did this. 465 00:27:52,495 --> 00:27:53,735 And I thought we'd lost you. 466 00:27:55,215 --> 00:27:56,575 And I felt so ashamed. 467 00:27:58,775 --> 00:28:01,335 That's an extremely Catholic way of looking at it, Mum, 468 00:28:01,335 --> 00:28:03,055 making my sin your sin. 469 00:28:04,855 --> 00:28:06,375 I'm the fuck-up, not you. 470 00:28:07,735 --> 00:28:10,455 You may only see him in you, 471 00:28:10,455 --> 00:28:12,215 but there's a lot of me in there, too. 472 00:28:17,815 --> 00:28:21,695 You missed a very good opportunity to tell me I'm not a fuck-up there. 473 00:28:26,375 --> 00:28:28,135 But that's OK, I absolve you. 474 00:28:30,575 --> 00:28:32,175 Now, fuck off home, would you? 475 00:28:34,775 --> 00:28:36,215 Please? 476 00:28:47,375 --> 00:28:50,135 10 to 1 she isn't wearing any knickers. 477 00:28:50,135 --> 00:28:52,615 It's all the rage now, you know, no knickers. 478 00:28:52,615 --> 00:28:55,135 Carl, take the bet. What bet? 479 00:28:58,455 --> 00:29:00,375 Are you ready for me to take your order? 480 00:29:00,375 --> 00:29:02,815 Rebecca, love, this menu's confusing the fuck out of me. 481 00:29:02,815 --> 00:29:04,415 Could you come over here, do you think? 482 00:29:06,055 --> 00:29:08,215 It's about the steaks. 483 00:29:08,215 --> 00:29:09,735 How rare do they come? 484 00:29:09,735 --> 00:29:12,815 Because...I like my blood, youngster. 485 00:29:12,815 --> 00:29:14,735 We can do them rare. Ah! 486 00:29:16,335 --> 00:29:19,695 Four steaks then, please. You'll join us, Marie? 487 00:29:19,695 --> 00:29:22,015 Not in everything, Leo, but steak's OK. 488 00:29:22,015 --> 00:29:23,495 Make sure he tips you well. 489 00:29:29,095 --> 00:29:31,255 You're a bad man. He's right. 490 00:29:31,255 --> 00:29:33,175 And a slightly richer man. 491 00:29:33,175 --> 00:29:35,895 Lunch is on you, Carlio. No knickers - none at all. 492 00:29:35,895 --> 00:29:39,295 Don't you worry, I'll get you an advert to pay for it. Hang on! 493 00:29:39,295 --> 00:29:42,695 What a treat for my team, my wonderful boys. 494 00:29:42,695 --> 00:29:45,775 What a treat, ey, Marie? Oh, yes, an absolute treat. 495 00:30:07,735 --> 00:30:09,775 I'd like to change my testimony. 496 00:30:09,775 --> 00:30:12,495 As I think the Sergeant explained, the case is no longer in my hands. 497 00:30:12,495 --> 00:30:15,775 We've charged you. You've come to the wrong place. 498 00:30:15,775 --> 00:30:19,455 But I remember her. I remember Rebecca Thornton. 499 00:30:22,215 --> 00:30:23,175 I'm sure you do. 500 00:30:24,735 --> 00:30:26,295 Tell your lawyers. 501 00:30:30,455 --> 00:30:33,415 You know, there's...one thing I don't understand. 502 00:30:35,535 --> 00:30:36,775 Everyone loves you. 503 00:30:38,415 --> 00:30:39,935 Everyone's throwing money at you, 504 00:30:39,935 --> 00:30:41,895 everyone applauds whenever you speak. 505 00:30:43,135 --> 00:30:44,975 How come you want to do damage to women? 506 00:30:46,255 --> 00:30:49,255 I don't. I don't do damage to women. 507 00:30:53,215 --> 00:30:55,015 I'm pleased your daughter's made a full recovery. 508 00:31:11,215 --> 00:31:14,655 I thought you'd be home. 509 00:31:14,655 --> 00:31:17,575 Well, you weren't home, so I went out. 510 00:31:18,815 --> 00:31:20,815 I was with Dee. You missed Smuggle. 511 00:31:20,815 --> 00:31:24,455 72 episodes - first one without me in it. 512 00:31:24,455 --> 00:31:25,935 Do you want to ask me about her? 513 00:31:25,935 --> 00:31:28,615 I don't know how he did, I couldn't bear to watch it. 514 00:31:28,615 --> 00:31:31,055 Simon phoned, said it wasn't the same. 515 00:31:32,215 --> 00:31:35,175 I think he was just pissed off that he couldn't get a client to do it. 516 00:31:37,215 --> 00:31:38,255 He also said... 517 00:31:39,495 --> 00:31:41,175 ..that he had a meeting at the BBC 518 00:31:41,175 --> 00:31:44,095 and that people were asking after me. 519 00:31:44,095 --> 00:31:46,535 And he says that's happening more and more. 520 00:31:48,935 --> 00:31:51,855 You've got a bit of colour in your cheeks. 521 00:31:51,855 --> 00:31:53,775 Have I? 522 00:31:53,775 --> 00:31:55,975 What can it be, I wonder? 523 00:31:55,975 --> 00:31:59,815 Anger, resentment? Love, shame? 524 00:32:04,735 --> 00:32:08,855 Jerry thinks you're vulnerable, thinks you might leave us. 525 00:32:08,855 --> 00:32:10,375 He thinks we need you. 526 00:32:10,375 --> 00:32:13,895 He says wives often crack. I am not cracking. 527 00:32:16,095 --> 00:32:19,135 Anyway, I was out because I went to the police station. 528 00:32:20,735 --> 00:32:23,415 What? To do what? Well, nothing, as it turned out. 529 00:32:23,415 --> 00:32:25,175 It turned out I went to the wrong place. 530 00:32:25,175 --> 00:32:27,295 But I wanted to make it official. 531 00:32:27,295 --> 00:32:29,975 We're going to say I slept with her. 532 00:32:31,815 --> 00:32:34,415 Slept with who? Rebecca Thornton. 533 00:32:34,415 --> 00:32:36,655 What? Why? 534 00:32:37,895 --> 00:32:41,375 It makes the case harder to refute. 535 00:32:41,375 --> 00:32:43,935 And did you? Sleep with her? 536 00:32:43,935 --> 00:32:46,095 It makes a better story. 537 00:32:46,095 --> 00:32:48,895 We had sex, I didn't want to see her again. 538 00:32:50,215 --> 00:32:55,015 She wrote fan letters to me, you see, after the event. 539 00:32:56,375 --> 00:33:02,095 So the thinking is, we suggest a rape claim as a revenge, 540 00:33:02,095 --> 00:33:03,855 because I didn't stay interested in her. 541 00:33:03,855 --> 00:33:04,935 Did you fuck her? 542 00:33:06,255 --> 00:33:08,855 You...you're not listening. It's a sound legal... 543 00:33:08,855 --> 00:33:10,135 Did you fuck her, Paul? 544 00:33:12,495 --> 00:33:14,255 I honestly can't remember. 545 00:33:18,055 --> 00:33:19,695 No, you would have told me. 546 00:33:21,375 --> 00:33:23,215 You would have told me if you did. 547 00:33:26,255 --> 00:33:29,175 There may have been people, other women, 548 00:33:29,175 --> 00:33:30,935 that I didn't tell you of. 549 00:33:32,855 --> 00:33:35,855 None of them meant anything. Nothing significant. 550 00:33:37,695 --> 00:33:41,335 I was trying to protect you. Who knocked on your door that day? 551 00:33:41,335 --> 00:33:43,655 Interrupting you, they were interrupting you for me. 552 00:33:43,655 --> 00:33:47,055 Who knocked on your door? It wasn't a runner, was it? 553 00:33:47,055 --> 00:33:51,535 I don't remember the DAY, Marie, let alone some door knocker. 554 00:33:53,695 --> 00:33:56,695 Are you sure you didn't hurt her? 555 00:33:58,215 --> 00:34:00,295 I wouldn't. You know that. 556 00:34:07,455 --> 00:34:09,735 I'm not sure I know anything anymore. 557 00:35:00,975 --> 00:35:02,575 'Carl!' 558 00:35:04,615 --> 00:35:05,775 Carl?! 559 00:35:10,055 --> 00:35:12,135 Carl! Marie? 560 00:35:12,135 --> 00:35:14,095 I need to find Paul! 561 00:35:14,095 --> 00:35:16,495 He's doing lines, I think. It's Dee. 562 00:35:16,495 --> 00:35:18,935 What? Dee's taken a turn for the worse. 563 00:35:18,935 --> 00:35:20,895 What? 564 00:35:20,895 --> 00:35:22,735 They said she's taken an overdose. 565 00:35:22,735 --> 00:35:24,735 He's in his trailer. I'll get him. 566 00:35:24,735 --> 00:35:27,575 He's with the director, I think. Get the car running, let me... 567 00:35:27,575 --> 00:35:29,695 I'll extract him, I'll run. 568 00:35:30,855 --> 00:35:33,815 Paul! Paul! 569 00:35:37,255 --> 00:35:40,055 She's not looking her best. We had to use charcoal. 570 00:35:40,055 --> 00:35:42,375 What has she taken? A cocktail, really. 571 00:35:42,375 --> 00:35:44,295 There was quite a lot of alcohol in her system, 572 00:35:44,295 --> 00:35:46,895 some kind of barbiturate and some cocaine. 573 00:35:46,895 --> 00:35:47,895 Cocaine? 574 00:35:49,655 --> 00:35:53,535 She's 15. It doesn't look like any long-term damage has occurred. 575 00:35:53,535 --> 00:35:55,575 We're going to want to keep her in overnight. 576 00:35:59,695 --> 00:36:01,695 Dad? Daddy? 577 00:36:03,895 --> 00:36:07,775 Darling. It's OK. You're OK now. 578 00:36:59,295 --> 00:37:01,935 What time is it? 579 00:37:01,935 --> 00:37:03,775 After three. 580 00:37:03,775 --> 00:37:08,975 OK, so...I've got a big filming day tomorrow, 581 00:37:08,975 --> 00:37:11,735 so...we should probably head back. 582 00:37:11,735 --> 00:37:13,055 You go. I'll stay. 583 00:37:14,855 --> 00:37:18,495 You know she won't want you here, don't you? 584 00:37:18,495 --> 00:37:20,055 Yeah. 585 00:37:31,015 --> 00:37:33,095 Do you ever think we damaged her? 586 00:37:33,095 --> 00:37:34,535 No! 587 00:37:36,695 --> 00:37:38,775 Do you ever think I damaged her? 588 00:37:43,095 --> 00:37:46,215 Because I don't know what you do for her that I don't. 589 00:37:49,175 --> 00:37:51,935 Don't know why she loves you but not me. 590 00:38:02,135 --> 00:38:03,855 I'll see you back at home. 591 00:38:32,935 --> 00:38:35,335 You're here. I can go if you'd rather... 592 00:38:35,335 --> 00:38:39,095 I sort of expected you to come sooner. No excuses. 593 00:38:39,095 --> 00:38:42,015 No excuses I accept - no reason I find more difficult. 594 00:38:42,015 --> 00:38:46,575 OK. Am I expected to do this all on the doorstep? 595 00:38:55,695 --> 00:39:01,335 That note, the note you left in the car - it was beautiful, actually. 596 00:39:01,335 --> 00:39:04,895 It was brief, anyway. Brevity's an underrated quality, I think. 597 00:39:06,255 --> 00:39:07,815 It wasn't suicide. I know. 598 00:39:07,815 --> 00:39:11,255 If it was suicide, it would've been shit suicide and I wouldn't do it shit. I know. 599 00:39:11,255 --> 00:39:12,855 It was also not a cry for help. 600 00:39:12,855 --> 00:39:15,015 I'm not going to embrace that stereotype either. 601 00:39:15,015 --> 00:39:17,335 It wasn't shit suicide or a cry for help. 602 00:39:17,335 --> 00:39:19,695 You're simply a terrible driver. No, I'm just an idiot. 603 00:39:19,695 --> 00:39:21,735 I'm a lucky idiot. Let's just keep it like that. 604 00:39:21,735 --> 00:39:24,375 Do you know, the question I always get asked... 605 00:39:25,895 --> 00:39:29,055 ..as a man with a long career behind him... 606 00:39:29,055 --> 00:39:31,295 ..is, "What was your hardest job?" 607 00:39:31,295 --> 00:39:35,255 and I always say, "Teaching my daughter to drive." I always say it. 608 00:39:35,255 --> 00:39:38,375 They never print it, but I always say it. 609 00:39:38,375 --> 00:39:41,895 They never print the interesting things I say, just the bitchy things. 610 00:39:41,895 --> 00:39:45,615 I've helped your case. Well, you've certainly done SOMETHING. 611 00:39:45,615 --> 00:39:48,935 Dad. Do you know, I tried it once. Suicide. 612 00:39:48,935 --> 00:39:50,895 Not that this with you is... 613 00:39:50,895 --> 00:39:53,855 I was 13, and I took 22 aspirins 614 00:39:53,855 --> 00:39:58,095 that I'd stolen from the chemist's in town. 615 00:39:58,095 --> 00:40:02,095 And then I vomited most of them back up again, 616 00:40:02,095 --> 00:40:06,335 and then I got this horrible gastric flu, 617 00:40:06,335 --> 00:40:09,055 but no death, as you can see. 618 00:40:10,455 --> 00:40:13,815 Pills are just a terrible way to go. They're just messy. 619 00:40:13,815 --> 00:40:17,775 I know driving a car into a brick wall, it's messy, messy, 620 00:40:17,775 --> 00:40:21,695 but they're also not the method I'd recommend, for future reference. 621 00:40:23,335 --> 00:40:26,255 Have I told you about my dad? Doing family history? 622 00:40:26,255 --> 00:40:28,055 Maybe I should get some biscuits. 623 00:40:28,055 --> 00:40:30,735 He wasn't a brave man, my dad, but for some reason 624 00:40:30,735 --> 00:40:33,735 he signed up to fight in World War II. Volunteered, you know. 625 00:40:33,735 --> 00:40:36,895 Fought for the Crown, fought for the Brits. Fuck knows why. 626 00:40:36,895 --> 00:40:39,575 He must have been a braver man in those days. 627 00:40:39,575 --> 00:40:40,815 And he came back from that. 628 00:40:40,815 --> 00:40:47,055 Nearly 5,000 came home to Ireland and he came back and his mind was... 629 00:40:47,055 --> 00:40:50,415 God knows what'd happened to it. And he was called a traitor. 630 00:40:50,415 --> 00:40:54,095 Called a collaborator. He didn't even get pity. 631 00:40:54,095 --> 00:40:57,095 And your grandmother hated him for it as well. Yeah, I never liked her. 632 00:40:57,095 --> 00:41:00,695 He used to piss the bed and she would throw the sheet over 633 00:41:00,695 --> 00:41:03,895 the balcony in the tenements so everyone could see what a weak man he was. 634 00:41:03,895 --> 00:41:06,975 And when he beat me, she never hid that either. 635 00:41:06,975 --> 00:41:09,215 We like a strong woman in our family. 636 00:41:11,095 --> 00:41:12,415 It's a hard thing to live 637 00:41:12,415 --> 00:41:15,375 a life without pity, particularly when you deserve it. 638 00:41:19,695 --> 00:41:21,695 He never fucked me... 639 00:41:24,215 --> 00:41:26,735 ..but he did touch me when he beat me. 640 00:41:26,735 --> 00:41:28,055 You know, he'd touch himself. 641 00:41:28,055 --> 00:41:30,695 He didn't think I saw but of course I did. 642 00:41:30,695 --> 00:41:35,135 There was one time, he had me with my hands tied over 643 00:41:35,135 --> 00:41:37,855 the back of a chair, bare arse, 644 00:41:37,855 --> 00:41:41,895 he was beating me with this big studded belt - my belt, actually - 645 00:41:41,895 --> 00:41:46,255 I fancied myself as a bit of a rocker in those days, twat that I was - 646 00:41:46,255 --> 00:41:52,175 and he was halfway through and I turned the chair around 647 00:41:52,175 --> 00:41:55,215 and grabbed his erection with my tied hands 648 00:41:55,215 --> 00:41:57,695 and twisted it for all I was worth. 649 00:41:58,975 --> 00:42:01,855 I looked into his eyes as I did it. 650 00:42:01,855 --> 00:42:03,575 Didn't say anything. 651 00:42:03,575 --> 00:42:05,095 Didn't need to. 652 00:42:07,615 --> 00:42:09,615 He never touched me after that. 653 00:42:10,655 --> 00:42:13,935 Then the next year, discovered comedy, 654 00:42:13,935 --> 00:42:18,655 I met your mother and I just fucked offski. 655 00:42:21,415 --> 00:42:25,655 And if I told that to somebody, they would assume that I was guilty. 656 00:42:25,655 --> 00:42:28,735 The abused become the abusers, after all, 657 00:42:28,735 --> 00:42:30,375 not realising... 658 00:42:30,375 --> 00:42:34,815 that I've spent my entire life trying not to be that man. 659 00:42:39,295 --> 00:42:41,095 And I've succeeded. 660 00:42:42,855 --> 00:42:44,615 And then they did this. 661 00:42:48,055 --> 00:42:51,055 And in that moment, when they accused me of being him, 662 00:42:51,055 --> 00:42:55,455 I finally understand what it is to be him, 663 00:42:55,455 --> 00:42:59,055 because when I want sympathy I get suspicion, 664 00:42:59,055 --> 00:43:02,175 and when I want pity I get hatred. 665 00:43:03,815 --> 00:43:06,735 Which is to say thank you. 666 00:43:06,735 --> 00:43:09,175 Thank you. 667 00:43:09,175 --> 00:43:12,335 I needed you to say you believe me. 668 00:43:12,335 --> 00:43:14,935 You can't imagine how much it means to me. 669 00:43:20,335 --> 00:43:23,695 Did I do this? Is this my fault? Is it? Dad. 670 00:43:23,695 --> 00:43:25,895 Cos I don't love much in this world. 671 00:43:25,895 --> 00:43:30,535 I know we're all supposed to love one another and et cetera, but... 672 00:43:32,935 --> 00:43:39,415 You're my daughter, and I don't love - I truly don't love... 673 00:43:41,095 --> 00:43:43,375 ..anyone as much as I love you. 674 00:43:57,735 --> 00:44:00,695 That's... 675 00:44:00,695 --> 00:44:02,375 nice. 676 00:44:05,535 --> 00:44:07,495 That's nice to hear. 677 00:44:09,775 --> 00:44:12,615 You mean it? 678 00:44:12,615 --> 00:44:14,535 Of course I do. 679 00:44:16,055 --> 00:44:17,735 To keep you safe. 680 00:44:19,215 --> 00:44:24,455 The idea, the very idea that I might have damaged you... You didn't. 681 00:44:24,455 --> 00:44:25,695 I'm here. 682 00:44:29,935 --> 00:44:32,375 You do mean it. Yes. 683 00:44:33,935 --> 00:44:36,455 Can I come home, Dad? What? 684 00:44:38,935 --> 00:44:43,855 I want to come home on a trial. I'm not sure. 685 00:44:43,855 --> 00:44:45,215 You want me... 686 00:44:45,215 --> 00:44:48,215 You want me walking into the courtroom beside you. 687 00:44:50,335 --> 00:44:53,615 Can I...come home, please? 688 00:44:56,535 --> 00:44:58,455 I'm not sure. I don't want you damaged. 689 00:44:58,455 --> 00:45:00,055 I don't want any more damage. 690 00:45:00,055 --> 00:45:03,455 There is no more damage you could do. 691 00:45:03,455 --> 00:45:06,815 I would like to come home. 692 00:45:06,815 --> 00:45:11,855 Will you let me come home, please? I can think of nothing I'd like more. 693 00:46:53,935 --> 00:46:55,735 Hello? We're home. 694 00:46:56,695 --> 00:46:59,095 Marie, we're home. 695 00:46:59,095 --> 00:47:00,935 And that is "we". 696 00:47:00,935 --> 00:47:04,375 All of which is to say... room for a little one? 697 00:47:05,495 --> 00:47:07,855 Rhetorical question. Of course there is. 698 00:47:09,455 --> 00:47:12,535 Hi, Mum. She wanted to come home. 699 00:47:12,535 --> 00:47:15,855 Have a little TLC, you know? Hello. 700 00:47:15,855 --> 00:47:19,335 One more for you to look after, but hey, what's one more? 701 00:47:20,655 --> 00:47:23,335 Once more into the breach. 702 00:47:23,335 --> 00:47:24,975 One more. 703 00:47:27,815 --> 00:47:31,255 All together again, just as we should be.