1 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:27,000 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 2 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:31,160 Hurrah! 3 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:35,840 Lovely. Thank you very much. 4 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:41,400 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to QI, 5 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:45,200 where tonight we'll be strapping on our snowshoes, saddling up our elks 6 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:48,400 and heading to the frozen north, or as they say in Danish... 7 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:52,000 SHE SPEAKS DANISH 8 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:56,720 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING I know. 9 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:58,360 I've been here no time at all 10 00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:01,000 and we're already doing it in two languages. 11 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,800 Let's meet our nefarious Norsemen. 12 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:05,600 The cool Jason Manford. 13 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:08,560 - APPLAUSE - Hello. Thank you very much. 14 00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:12,120 The chilled Lucy Beaumont. 15 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:14,000 APPLAUSE 16 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:20,320 The howling waste that is Rhod Gilbert. 17 00:01:20,320 --> 00:01:22,640 APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER 18 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:26,720 And an absolute-zero Alan Davies. 19 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:29,560 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 20 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:38,120 So, our northern noises come from Iceland because their buzzers 21 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:40,160 are all Bjorky. 22 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:42,360 So Jason goes... 23 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:48,960 ♪ It's oh so quiet Shh! Shh! ♪ 24 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:50,520 And Rhod goes... 25 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:53,040 ♪ It's oh so still... ♪ 26 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:56,120 - LAUGHTER - Cheap, I like it. 27 00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:57,720 And Lucy goes... 28 00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:04,040 ♪ All alone Shh! Shh! ♪ 29 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:05,640 And Alan goes... 30 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:07,680 ♪ Wah! Wah! ♪ 31 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:09,560 LAUGHTER 32 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:13,000 Excellent. 33 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:17,840 Now, I've asked you all to bring your favourite thing about Denmark. 34 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:20,200 So, obviously, my very first question is going to be, 35 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:23,040 what's the second-best thing to come out of Denmark? 36 00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:24,960 LAUGHTER 37 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:28,720 - And we will start with Alan. Start with Alan. - It's you, Sandi. 38 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:30,600 - Aw. - AUDIENCE: Aw! 39 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:32,680 And this week's winner is Alan! 40 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:34,240 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 41 00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:40,720 Come on, favourite things from Denmark. Pastries. Which? 42 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:43,000 - Danish pastries. - They're not from Denmark. 43 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,720 - Danish pastries. They're not from Denmark. - Not from there. 44 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:48,080 - LAUGHTER - I knew that. 45 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:49,760 They're from Vienna. 46 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:52,480 Well, they were made by Viennese pastry chefs in Copenhagen. 47 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:54,840 We call it wienerbrod, so Vienna bread. 48 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:59,440 I know that Copenhagen is on the same line of latitude as Glasgow. 49 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:02,080 Is that your gift to me, that particular fact? 50 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:04,880 No. No, no. 51 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:07,840 There's a Danish thing that's not really a thing. Right. 52 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:11,200 - It's like a hug. - Yes. - It's a hygge. - It's a hygge. - It's a thing. 53 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:14,160 Like a feeling. Yep. It doesn't translate. 54 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:17,720 It's the most wonderful word and what it means is to get together with your friends, 55 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:21,040 usually in candlelight, and to feel really mellow and enjoy yourself, 56 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:23,520 and in general that involves alcohol. 57 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:25,760 Yeah, that's why... LAUGHTER 58 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:28,400 That's my gift to you. Thank you. Aw. That is lovely. 59 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:31,800 We say that to our friends. We ring them up and say, "Come over, we'll hygge." 60 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:34,520 - And it just means bring beer. - "We'll have a nice time." 61 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:37,880 Now, Lucy, surely you've got a little something for me as a gift. 62 00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:42,320 My favourite thing to come out of Denmark 63 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:45,080 is Saga Noren, the character. 64 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:49,400 Oh, played by the genius Sofia Helin in The Bridge. 65 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:53,160 The only trouble with that, and I love the gift, is she's Swedish. 66 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,520 LAUGHTER 67 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:58,280 - It's very similar, though, isn't it? - Yeah. 68 00:03:58,280 --> 00:03:59,920 LAUGHTER 69 00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:01,480 AUDIENCE: Oh! 70 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:06,520 You're very particular about the what's Danish and what... 71 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:10,360 - Doesn't really matter. - You know there was a murder on that bridge, don't you? 72 00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:13,560 She does come out of Denmark quite a lot, doesn't she? 73 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:15,680 She does, but she's visiting. 74 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:18,440 I have to say, it is the most brilliant thing. 75 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:22,520 Her portrayal of Saga Noren is astonishing. It's the best portrayal 76 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:25,520 - of a person with Asperger's I've ever seen. - I know. 77 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:28,480 I've never been so influenced by anything. 78 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:31,600 And sometimes I feel like her. When I'm walking towards a car 79 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,520 to get in it, I feel like her, 80 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:37,000 like when she walked towards her car. 81 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,600 I did it the other day in Waitrose. 82 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:44,320 Can you show us how you got in the car? What you did? 83 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:47,160 Not without a car, no. 84 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:49,480 LAUGHTER 85 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:51,680 Right. What about Jason? 86 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:56,520 My favourite thing about Denmark, or from Denmark, of course... 87 00:04:56,520 --> 00:05:00,840 - Oh, that is... - ..is this. - ..absolutely brilliant. 88 00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:05,040 - Now, I must give it its official BBC title. - Yes. 89 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:09,760 Generic Danish interlocking children's building set. 90 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:12,840 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 91 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:15,680 - It's Lego, of course. - That's fantastic. 92 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:19,040 So, Rhod. You have to top the interlocking gift. 93 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:23,360 Well, when I was asked my favourite thing about Norway, 94 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:25,880 I didn't really know a lot about... Denmark, sorry. 95 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:27,960 LAUGHTER 96 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:35,200 Oh, does it matter? Come on! 97 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:37,240 Agh! 98 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:42,120 So, what if I said, "Those Welsh and Scots, they're exactly the same"? 99 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:43,720 AUDIENCE: Oooh! 100 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:45,720 Exactly. You'd get lynched. 101 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:49,400 I'm fine, there's no Danish people here apart from you. 102 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:52,560 - All right, Denmark. If you insist, Denmark. - I do. 103 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,880 Right, I didn't know much about Denmark, Norway, 104 00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:56,320 call it what you want... 105 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:59,440 LAUGHTER 106 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:02,400 - So I sort of Googled it. - Right. 107 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:05,760 It always comes up as the happiest place or the second-happiest place. 108 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:07,280 Yes, absolutely right. 109 00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:08,800 Although, coincidently, it's always 110 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:12,160 the happiest place and the largest consumers of antidepressants. 111 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:16,000 So I don't know if that's linked. Just a thought. 112 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,760 It's cos they do chocolate-flavoured ones. 113 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,840 Some people say it's the high incomes or the low levels of 114 00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:27,360 inequality, the large welfare state, the good education... 115 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:29,120 Yes, darling, not really a speech, 116 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:31,120 more of a gift is what we're looking for. 117 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:33,480 I don't think it's because of any of those things. 118 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:36,320 I think it's because they have a strict, strict control 119 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:39,360 over breaking wind in public cos I found this sign. 120 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:44,360 LAUGHTER 121 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:54,000 Since the smoking ban, I'm all for this kind of thing. 122 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:57,000 Unfortunately, the word "fart" means speed, 123 00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,080 and so this is a speed-restriction area. 124 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:03,920 But, also, rather pleasingly, the word for timetable is "fartplan". 125 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:10,680 Oh, I've needed one of those for years. 126 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,520 A proper fartplan. 127 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:17,440 - A daily fartplan. - Where you are, who you're with... 128 00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:21,160 So, Denmark does lead the world in many, many things. 129 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:24,000 What is the main thing that it leads the world in? 130 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:28,400 Fairy tales. Oh, that would be nice. Although they are quite miserable. 131 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:31,240 Actually, the real Hans Christian Andersen stories are quite dark. 132 00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:32,680 Sawing their feet off. 133 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:34,440 JASON: There is an obsession with... 134 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:37,400 I've noticed this with watching the kids' programmes, 135 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:41,000 the Disney films and stuff. There is an obsession with dead parents. 136 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,560 And it comes from that Hans Christian Andersen. 137 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:47,680 I don't know why it is, but one or both of them are either dead already 138 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:50,040 or killed within the film at some point. 139 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:51,600 OK, so, heading for parenting, 140 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:53,800 I'm going to try to get us to the answer, it isn't 141 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:56,120 Hans Christian Andersen we're looking for... 142 00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:58,640 - What was the question? - I'm looking for... 143 00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:00,920 what Denmark leads the world in. 144 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:02,800 Parenting! 145 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:05,800 I saw a lovely Danish sofa on eBay. 146 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:07,240 LAUGHTER 147 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:11,080 - Is it... - No. - ..sofas? 148 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:12,840 Childbirth! 149 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:17,040 Also, I thought you said "surfer" so, for a brief moment... 150 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:20,080 I'm trying to think of a Dane surfing. 151 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,160 Is it something to do with childbirth? 152 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:24,920 - It's something exported from Denmark. - Babies. 153 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:28,720 - It's to do with childbirth. - Umbilical cords. Stem cells. 154 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:31,320 The audience is going to start screaming in a minute. 155 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:35,560 And the word they're going to start screaming is "sperm". 156 00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:37,400 It is the world's... 157 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:40,040 LAUGHTER 158 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,760 They are the world's largest exporter of human sperm and, 159 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:46,200 certainly in the UK, due to a shortage of home-grown donors, 160 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:49,240 and also because the laws mean you can't be anonymous in the UK, 161 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:52,880 about a third of the total used by British fertility clinics 162 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:54,680 is Viking sperm. 163 00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:59,560 Why have they got so...? Is it because it's dark like 20 hours...? 164 00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:02,600 It doesn't get dark in Denmark like that. 165 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,560 How do you cope with having one-and-a-half hours' daylight? 166 00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:08,000 - It doesn't happen! - It doesn't happen! 167 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:11,880 Denmark's the same as Scotland, where you come from! 168 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:13,920 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 169 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:19,720 DROWNED OUT BY APPLAUSE 170 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:23,840 It's up in the Arctic Circle, way, way further. 171 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:26,800 A Danish winter is about one-and-a-half hours' daylight. 172 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:31,080 - It is not, darling, no. - You keep saying the same thing! It's wrong! 173 00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:35,320 It's not, it's true. I've been there. An hour-and-a-half. 174 00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:38,240 LAUGHTER 175 00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:41,680 Here's the thing. If that's not true, and the more you say it, 176 00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:45,840 - the more points I'm going to make it not true for you. - All right. 177 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:47,360 When I went to Denmark... 178 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:49,800 - JASON: Was it night-time? - It was winter. 179 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:51,440 LAUGHTER 180 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:53,840 DROWNED OUT BY APPLAUSE 181 00:09:55,560 --> 00:09:59,320 This is it, Rhod. You come home late, you've slept through the day - 182 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:02,360 I did it as a teenager - and you wake up at five in the afternoon. 183 00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:05,800 You don't see the daylight. You're like a ghost. 184 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:07,720 THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER 185 00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:10,960 It was dark for 20-odd hours per day in winter. 186 00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:13,640 But your inability to distinguish the Scandinavian countries 187 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:15,920 means it's possible you were in Norway. 188 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:17,640 LAUGHTER 189 00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:19,400 That is possible. 190 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:21,720 It is possible that I was in one of the other countries. 191 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:25,000 - But is it not true? It's about an hour-and-a-half... - Stop saying it! 192 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,600 LAUGHTER 193 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:29,080 It took me nine years to grow a tomato there. 194 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:34,880 There's no trees in China. There you are, it's exactly the same. 195 00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:36,840 The largest exporter of sperm. 196 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:39,840 Also the largest exporter of wind turbines, grass seed, 197 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,920 the world's largest producer of insulin, 198 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:44,200 and the world's most popular toy, of course, 199 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:47,760 - the interlocking brick, as we shall call it. - Yes. 200 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:51,520 The Mermaid, which is the symbol of Denmark, it's a rather sad story. 201 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:55,920 - She's had her head decapitated. Twice. - She looks good for it. 202 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:57,920 She looks good, doesn't she? 203 00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:00,320 Twice, somebody's cut her head off and swum off with it cos 204 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:03,200 she's out in the harbour. Her arm has been cut off. 205 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:06,440 - Is it the same person each time? - JASON: Collecting a mermaid. 206 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:09,760 There was once somebody swam out and put a dildo in her hand. 207 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:11,640 LAUGHTER 208 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:13,520 What's wrong with people? 209 00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:16,680 - I'm surprised they had time with only 90 minutes' daylight. - I know! 210 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:20,720 It's a wonder they could see her, frankly. 211 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:25,040 Anybody know what we use pretty much every single day 212 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:29,360 - in the modern world which comes also from Denmark? - Fish? 213 00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:30,920 It's a modern thing. 214 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:34,280 - A modern thing that everybody uses every single day. - A tin-opener? 215 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:37,640 A tin-opener is the most modern device that... 216 00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:39,480 LAUGHTER 217 00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:44,800 - The electric tin-opener. - It's Bluetooth. - Oh, of course. 218 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:48,040 Bluetooth comes from Denmark. And that is the symbol for Bluetooth. 219 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:53,720 And it represents the runes of H and B, which is Harald Bluetooth, 220 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:55,160 who was a king of Denmark. 221 00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:58,240 And he was the king who unified the Scandinavian countries and 222 00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:01,160 when Bluetooth was invented, because it unified the way we communicate 223 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:04,440 together, the symbol for Harald Bluetooth, the king of Denmark... 224 00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:07,840 - Was he always talking to himself? - Constantly. It was relentless. 225 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:09,280 "Harald, are you talking to me?" 226 00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:12,840 "I'm on the phone, mate. I'm on the phone." "Sorry, Harald." 227 00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:17,560 You mentioned Denmark, world's happiest country in the latest happiness report, 228 00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:20,520 followed by Switzerland, Iceland, Norway and Finland. 229 00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:22,440 UK? 23rd. 230 00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:26,080 Just behind Mexico and Singapore, those... 231 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:27,520 happy places. 232 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:30,480 There's some fabulous world records that Denmark holds. 233 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,800 The highest jump by a rabbit. 234 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,800 LAUGHTER 235 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:36,520 99.5cm. 236 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:39,520 This one I love - the fastest time 237 00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:42,840 to peel and eat three lemons. 238 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:44,880 28.5 seconds. 239 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:46,400 Wow. That's fantastic, isn't it? 240 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:48,800 That is tough. I mean, the peeling by itself... 241 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:52,480 The one I couldn't do is the fastest 100 metres wearing high heels. 242 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,360 It says in brackets "female". 243 00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,960 I don't know if there's a different one... 244 00:12:56,960 --> 00:13:01,440 - Fastest 100 metres wearing high heels is 13.557 seconds. - Wow. 245 00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:04,200 - That is fast. - It was hotly contested. - That's not that far... 246 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,920 Isn't 100 metres in running trainers about... 247 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,640 RHOD: "Running trainers"! 248 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:10,280 - Yeah. - That's impressive. 249 00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:13,840 Do you sit and go, "Do you have your running trainers...?" 250 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:18,120 They do have separate trainers for different things, Rhod. 251 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:20,880 "You've forgotten your plimsolls..." 252 00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:25,480 OK! Enough about Denmark. I never thought I'd say that. 253 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:30,200 What's moving towards Russia at 35 miles per year? 254 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,560 Denmark. 255 00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:36,000 Must be. You're definitely going to win. Definitely going to win. 256 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,560 Is it the London to Moscow Megabus? 257 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:43,960 Is it America? Is it America? No. But it is a sort of a thing. 258 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:47,600 - North Pole. We're looking at Ns. - It is. We are looking at Ns. 259 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:51,520 - Which North Pole? - The north one. 260 00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:55,120 Magnetic. It is, absolutely right. Alan is exactly right. 261 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:57,800 - It is the magnetic North Pole. - Sandi, you're not going to give him 262 00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:00,080 - a point on the back of my... that, are you? - Do you know... 263 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:02,440 - How does that work? - All I can say to you, Rhod, 264 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:05,960 whatever happens through the whole of the rest of the show, you're not going to win. 265 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:09,160 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 266 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:15,160 Every time you said it's about an hour-and-a-half of daylight, 267 00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:18,600 you lost ten points. Seriously, you're going to be so behind, 268 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:21,760 it's going to be a new QI score low. 269 00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:26,560 You wait till the BBC Diversity Department hears about this. 270 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:30,000 We've already had our quota of Scots. We're fine. 271 00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:35,440 You're absolutely right, Alan. It is the Magnetic North Pole. 272 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:38,360 So, that's best described as the place to which compasses point. 273 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:41,320 It was in northern Canada until 2015. 274 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:46,000 It is slowly moving towards Russia at about 35mph. It's currently in... 275 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:49,920 - 35mph now? - 35 miles a year. 276 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:53,640 JASON: It's in the back of someone's car. 277 00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:56,200 It's in the back of a Skoda. 278 00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:58,880 Someone's got a little mermaid in one hand, 279 00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:01,920 and the North Pole in the other. 280 00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:05,080 It's actually... What's an interesting thing about it is, 281 00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:08,080 although we call it the Magnetic North Pole, you can't really find it 282 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:09,680 by looking cos compasses don't work 283 00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:12,880 very well when you get close to the poles. I have a compass here. 284 00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:15,440 In fact, on air navigator's charts, 285 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:18,600 this area is known as "compass unreliable area", 286 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:23,160 or sometimes it's also known as the "compass useless area". 287 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:24,760 So why might that be? 288 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:27,520 Cos you want it to be pointing that way but it's that way. 289 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:30,440 It's pointing straight down, so instead of the thing being level, 290 00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:33,840 it's being dragged downwards and the friction of it pushing down is going to 291 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:37,080 stop it from spinning round. So the one place you can't use a compass 292 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:39,720 is anywhere near the Magnetic North Pole. 293 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:42,200 Surely you're there, you've arrived, so it doesn't matter. 294 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:46,440 It's like one of those water-diviner things. It's like saying they're useless once you've got to water. 295 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,440 - The thing is... - Yeah, but you don't use a compass - 296 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:51,560 "I've got a compass, let's all go to the North Pole." 297 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:54,240 Like...you're trying to find a way home, aren't you? 298 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:58,240 It's a bit like arriving in Norway and thinking you're in Denmark. 299 00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:00,520 What's the difference between the Magnetic North Pole 300 00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:03,920 - and Geographic North Pole? - The Geographic North Pole's a bit off. 301 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:06,600 Well, actually, if you spun a basketball - or any ball - 302 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:09,000 - the Geographic North Pole would be here. - The top. 303 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,280 And the Magnetic one's off. Yeah, the Magnetic one... 304 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:13,760 I was bound to get it the wrong way around. Very close. 305 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:15,320 All the poles are on the move 306 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:17,360 and they did new measurements in 2016... 307 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:19,720 All right, Nigel Farage, calm down. 308 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:22,480 LAUGHTER 309 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:27,640 Story of Ukip hell. 310 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:32,200 The Geographic North Pole had been moving towards the British Isles, 311 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,760 in fact, by 10cm a year for the last two decades. 312 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:37,000 And that's due to displacement of water. 313 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:39,960 Ownership of the Geographic North Pole is disputed, actually, 314 00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:43,480 between Russia, Canada and Denmark. 315 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:47,320 And to strengthen their claim, Russia has used a submarine to plant 316 00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:50,960 an actual pole at what they consider to be the Geographic North Pole. 317 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:54,560 They did it in 2007. It's on the seabed, it's a titanium rod 318 00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:57,000 holding a Russian flag. But here's the fun bit - 319 00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,920 it's, of course, now in the wrong place. 320 00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:06,040 The Magnetic North Pole is moving imperceptibly slowly towards Russia, 321 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:10,200 along with fashion, democracy and gay rights. 322 00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:13,800 Do you know the one about the Dane and the Canadian arguing about 323 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,800 a rock and a hard place? 324 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:18,720 The Dane is Hamlet and the Canadian's Celine Dion, 325 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:20,800 have they fallen out, have they? 326 00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:22,400 No, it's an actual place. 327 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:26,120 Think about a Danish dependent territory... Greenland. Greenland. 328 00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:28,120 So... Close to Canada. Yup. 329 00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:31,400 So, the Nares Strait is the bit that passes between the Danish 330 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:34,760 dependent territory of Greenland and Canada's Ellsmere Island. 331 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:38,040 And the border of the two countries passes down the centre 332 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:42,520 of the strait and right through a barren rock called Hans Island, 333 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:45,800 named after a great Inuit explorer called Hans Hendrik. 334 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:49,480 Hans Christian Island. It should have been. This is... 335 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:53,240 There it is. It's gorgeous, isn't it? It's really lovely, 336 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:55,440 but it's the most civilised conflict in the world. 337 00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:58,600 What they do is, they both agree first of all to inform each other 338 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:01,760 if they're going to visit. Which is quite nice. 339 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:05,040 When the Danish military go there, they leave a bottle of schnapps. 340 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:08,720 When the Canadian military forces go, they leave a bottle 341 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:12,160 of Canadian Club, and a sign that says "Welcome to Canada". 342 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:15,080 LAUGHTER 343 00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:18,200 Which I think is positively inflammatory. 344 00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:22,560 There is some talk of the two countries running it as 345 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:26,480 - a park together. I don't know why you'd want to visit, but... - Swings? 346 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:30,760 - Swings and a roundabout. - Just a load of hammered soldiers. 347 00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:32,720 "Wahey!" 348 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,160 The Danes don't like to be too belligerent, and there's 349 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:40,600 another lovely example of Danish belligerence - the protest pig. 350 00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:43,240 This was very popular in the late 19th century. 351 00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:45,480 So, the Prussian forces had invaded southern Denmark. 352 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:48,720 They banned all Danish symbols, and the pigs were bred so that their 353 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:52,640 white markings and their ruddy colour imitated the Danish flag. 354 00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:55,480 They were known as protest pigs. Isn't that sweet? 355 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:59,280 They're very polite people. In Denmark, it's illegal to desecrate 356 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:03,200 foreign flags, but you can help yourself in burning your own. 357 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:06,480 Quick extra question - polite Nordic gifts. 358 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:09,720 Finland is going to be 100 in 2017. 359 00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:13,520 That's another, totally separate country that we haven't even mentioned yet. 360 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:17,320 And Norway's going to give them a present. What are Norway thinking of 361 00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:20,680 - giving Finland for their 100th birthday? - Denmark. 362 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:22,560 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 363 00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:31,040 I'll guess it's not going to be a Christmas tree. 364 00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:33,640 No, it's a really big thing. It's a really big present. 365 00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:36,600 A warship. No, you were closer with the tree thing... 366 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,240 A forest? 367 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:41,080 - Bigger than that. - National park? - Is it something made out of ice? 368 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:44,160 - Well, there is ice involved. - An island. 369 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:48,120 - Bigger than that. - I went to a vodka ice bar in Norway. - Did you? 370 00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:51,960 - Amazing. - That's fantastic, isn't it? That is really good fun. 371 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,600 As far as I remember. 372 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:58,080 - But it's not that? - What tin do you open most frequently? 373 00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,000 In terms of type of content. 374 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:03,960 - Tin? - Yeah, cos you said you use your tin-opener every day. Yes. 375 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:06,880 Eh, biffa peas. 376 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:10,040 I've no idea what biffa peas are. OK. 377 00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:12,440 - What is a biffa...? - I've no idea what biffa peas are. 378 00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:15,560 - I think they're the big ones. - Marrowfat peas. - Big fat peas? 379 00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:17,440 - Oh, right, sort of swollen? - Yeah. 380 00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:20,440 - They're really nice with a Sunday dinner. - Right. 381 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:21,880 I'm going to go back to - 382 00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:24,440 what do you think Norway's going to get Finland? 383 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:27,560 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 384 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,080 Yes? Bjorky. 385 00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:32,880 Is it marrowfat peas? 386 00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:35,800 Is it a large piece of land? It is a massive piece of land. 387 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:39,680 Here is the thing that Norway has that Finland doesn't really have, 388 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:43,000 Norway has hundreds of very big mountains and Finland doesn't. 389 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,920 And this is the nicest gift - 390 00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:47,760 - they're going to give them a mountain. - Oh, wow. 391 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:50,720 OK, this is the Halti range, it's on the border of the two countries. 392 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:53,760 They're going to give them the Halditsohkka Peak. 393 00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:56,600 It's only 4,366 feet high 394 00:20:56,600 --> 00:21:00,360 but it doesn't even come into Norway's top 200 highest peaks. 395 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:04,240 - It will be Finland's highest mountain. - Wow. 396 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:07,680 But they'll have to come and visit it, they can't put it over... 397 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:10,000 It's on the border, so the border will just go... 398 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,440 LAUGHTER 399 00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:14,360 APPLAUSE 400 00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:25,120 I like you so much because I found myself explaining that! 401 00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:26,840 LAUGHTER 402 00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:29,280 I think you're a joy, that's what I think. 403 00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:31,920 Can I come to your house and eat fat peas? 404 00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,840 Can't think of anything more delightful. 405 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:37,480 - Now, Jason, my lovely boy. - Hello. 406 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:39,880 What impressive northern experience 407 00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:42,920 would you like to share with me right now? 408 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:46,960 LAUGHTER 409 00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,000 What's my brother told you? 410 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,080 LAUGHTER 411 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:54,520 - Something fantastic that happens far north... - Northern Lights. 412 00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:57,000 Northern Lights. The Northern Lights. 413 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,680 In fact, depending on the strength of the solar wind, 414 00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:03,560 the Northern Lights can be seen as far south as Mexico and Egypt. 415 00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:06,880 The best place to see them tonight is here in the comfort of the studio 416 00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:09,040 thanks to an object called a Planeterrella, 417 00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:10,760 which we will demonstrate. 418 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:13,760 The polar light simulator has been lent to us by the Department 419 00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:16,800 of Physics and Astronomy at the University of Leicester. 420 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:20,080 It was designed by Jean Lilensten from CNRS, 421 00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:23,320 the French Centre Nationnal de la Recherche Scientifique 422 00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:26,440 and it is provided by Leicester's Dr Gabrielle Provan 423 00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:28,880 who's going to tell us about it. Gabrielle. 424 00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:34,720 So, Gabrielle, I'm just looking at the machine. The big object 425 00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:37,520 is supposed to be the sun, is that correct? 426 00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:40,320 - Absolutely, yes. - And the little one is the Earth? - Yes. 427 00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:43,960 - So why does it happen? - Well, what happens is that the sun has 428 00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:47,560 a solar wind, those charged particles flow away from the sun 429 00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:51,200 and into planetary space. And when those charged particles 430 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:54,600 come to the Earth they get stuck on to the Earth's magnetic field lines 431 00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:57,880 and they travel down into the Northern and Southern Polar regions 432 00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:01,320 and they basically collide with our gasses and they excite the gasses 433 00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:04,760 - and they make them shine. - So, the different gasses, what do the colours 434 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:06,960 make? Oxygen, for example, would make what colours? 435 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:09,760 Oxygen would make red and also green. 436 00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:13,600 - And nitrogen? - That is blue or purple. So in there there's a lot 437 00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:16,600 of nitrogen and that's why you're getting that purple glow. 438 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,960 It's fantastic that we can have it contained like that, 439 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:21,720 so I imagine this is a very modern experiment? 440 00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:24,240 It's actually over 100 years old. 441 00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:26,680 - Who invented it? - Kristian Birkeland. 442 00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:29,120 So he sounds Scandinavian to me. 443 00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:32,280 Yes. He was Norwegian. 444 00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:34,640 LAUGHTER 445 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:39,600 And where are you from? 446 00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:44,000 - I'm from Norway. - All right! It's the full Scandinavian picture! 447 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,960 Gabrielle Provan, thank you very much. 448 00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:54,320 Amazing to see, but if you can actually go, and what I love about 449 00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:57,240 it is, I love the myths associated. So the Sami people, 450 00:23:57,240 --> 00:24:00,400 indigenous people of Norway, Sweden, Finland and Russia, 451 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:03,320 they believed that the Northern Lights emanated from the souls 452 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:06,760 of the dead and should be treated with great respect. 453 00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:10,920 Greenland, the lights were seen as the souls of stillborn babies. 454 00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:14,480 Do they move that fast, like what we're looking at now? 455 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:17,920 - Does it move that fast in the air? - It can do, yeah. - Oh, wow, right. 456 00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:21,960 Lucy will verify this - if you turn the lights out in your kitchen 457 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,240 and open a can of biffa peas... 458 00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:25,800 LAUGHTER 459 00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:30,480 Very true, yeah. 460 00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:35,000 You want to go when the sun is issuing the maximum number of flares 461 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:38,080 and it goes in kind of cycles, it's an 11-year cycle and the next time 462 00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:41,000 will be about 2024, some time like that will be the best time to go. 463 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:45,440 - Really? - Now, we move south a little to another north place. 464 00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:48,560 What do the North Koreans do better than anyone? 465 00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:52,320 Is it... 466 00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:56,120 using only a pudding bowl and a Stanley knife? 467 00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:57,920 LAUGHTER 468 00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:02,160 Are you going for haircuts? Is that it? 469 00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:05,480 Yeah, they do create a haircut that is simultaneously hilarious 470 00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:10,520 - and terrifying. - Looking at that picture, I would say it's solemnity. 471 00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:13,480 It does look like solemnity but, no, it's not that. 472 00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:16,960 "WHERE'S MY GLOVE? WHERE IS MY GLOVE? 473 00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:19,000 "I WILL NOT... 474 00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:22,960 "..LEAVE HERE TILL MY GLOVE IS RETURNED!" 475 00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:27,400 Then he turns and he goes, "There is no missing glove. 476 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:30,480 "My glove is at home. Bwa-ha-ha!" 477 00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:33,760 I love the idea of being a dictator for comedic effect. 478 00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:35,360 LAUGHTER 479 00:25:35,360 --> 00:25:38,400 He always looks like a sort of cross between 480 00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:41,000 a Bond villain and Augustus Gloop. 481 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,480 If you upset him, you don't know if he's going to destroy the world 482 00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:48,320 or just refuse to give you one of his gobstoppers. 483 00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:52,040 But the thing they do best is that they make a fake something or other. 484 00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:54,320 I imagine they make fake munitions 485 00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:56,760 to make it look like they've got more army than they have. 486 00:25:56,760 --> 00:26:00,080 It is fake US dollars. They make them better than anybody. 487 00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:03,120 They're known as super dollars due to their superb quality. 488 00:26:03,120 --> 00:26:05,440 Some people say they're better than the originals. 489 00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:06,800 LAUGHTER 490 00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:09,680 And it took some very sophisticated forensic analysis to confirm... 491 00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:12,960 - They do sort of swell out in the middle, though. - Yeah, that's true. 492 00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,320 LAUGHTER 493 00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:16,840 It's not the only contraband. 494 00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:21,480 Its methamphetamine is supposed to be of extraordinary high purity. 495 00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:25,960 And its counterfeit Viagra is rumoured to exceed the bone fide. 496 00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:27,600 Can you say that, bona fide? 497 00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,440 LAUGHTER 498 00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:32,240 APPLAUSE 499 00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:38,840 You have to say it like this, "BONA fide." 500 00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:42,040 And the other fantastically successful North Korean export - 501 00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:43,880 this is fantastic, I love this - 502 00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:46,400 it's giant statues of African dictators. 503 00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:48,400 They make them better than anybody. 504 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:50,360 LAUGHTER 505 00:26:50,360 --> 00:26:55,480 Isn't that brilliant? It's the Mansudae Art Studio Gallery. 506 00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:59,040 And the work they've made, they've made statues for Angola, for Benin, 507 00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:01,920 Chad, the Democratic Republic of Congo, Equatorial Guinea, 508 00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:03,600 Ethiopia, Togo. 509 00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:07,640 They seem to have a common theme of the leaders all hailing a taxi. 510 00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:12,160 - That seems to be a thing. - They're all playing "Where's My Glove?" 511 00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:15,120 "I'M NOT LEAVING... 512 00:27:15,120 --> 00:27:17,640 "UNTIL THE GLOVE IS RETURNED!" 513 00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:21,040 - How big are they? - They're huge, massive things. 514 00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:23,600 I went to a gift shop in Lanzarote 515 00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:25,720 and they sold stuff like this. 516 00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:27,080 - Did they? - Yeah. 517 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:29,000 How big was the shop? 518 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:31,720 Everything was just... It sounded like... 519 00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:34,880 I think there was all sorts of dodgy stuff going on. 520 00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:38,320 Well, counterfeit is a thing and always has been a thing 521 00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:41,800 in terms of money. About 3% of the pound coins in the UK 522 00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:43,480 are in fact counterfeit. 523 00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:47,560 Yeah, every time I try to get a can of pop out of a machine, 524 00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:50,640 every time. Cos you've got a system. 525 00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:54,040 You gotta try and... Try to wet it before now, 526 00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:57,080 - sometimes I try and take the machine by surprise. - Yes. - Ever do that? 527 00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:59,280 LAUGHTER 528 00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:01,560 "Well, I don't even want one... Ha-ha!" 529 00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:03,880 Boom! Coming my way. 530 00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:06,000 How far do you work that back? 531 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:09,520 Do you come round the corner in dark glasses and hat? 532 00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:12,920 Come round the back of the machine... 533 00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:14,760 When it comes to bank notes, 534 00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:18,080 it's very hard to identify a wrong 'un from a Jong Un. 535 00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:19,680 AUDIENCE GROANS 536 00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:22,440 I didn't write it. Can I just say, I did not write that. OK. 537 00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:26,800 From North Korea to North America, what can you see here? 538 00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:28,800 What do you think this is? 539 00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:30,240 America. 540 00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:33,120 - Have you been to America? - Yeah. - Which parts have you been to? 541 00:28:33,120 --> 00:28:34,800 All over. 542 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:37,800 Well, that doesn't narrow it down for me, but... 543 00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:40,400 - That's New York. - It is New York. 544 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:44,840 It's Niagara Falls without any water on it. You are absolutely right. 545 00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:47,000 That is exactly what it is. 546 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:48,920 APPLAUSE 547 00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:55,680 - What gave it away for you? - The viewing tower. 548 00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:59,760 What is incredible about it, this is a photograph from June 1969. 549 00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:02,560 And the water at Niagara normally goes over three falls. 550 00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:05,120 It goes over the American, the Bridal Veil and the Horseshoe. 551 00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:08,200 And the American Falls had loads of debris at the bottom, 552 00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:09,600 which you can see there. 553 00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:12,120 It's known as talus, from the Latin for "ankle", 554 00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:13,840 because it's thicker at the bottom. 555 00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:17,720 And all that debris was swirling and causing erosion of the falls. 556 00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:20,760 So plans were to temporarily divert the water away 557 00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:22,960 from the American Falls and over the Horseshoe, 558 00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:25,480 and dry out the American so it could be cleaned. 559 00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:28,480 It is the most extraordinary picture. The construction company, 560 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:31,400 the Albert Elia Construction Company, they built a temporary dam 561 00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:34,680 in just three days out of 28,000 tonnes of earth. 562 00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:37,440 And the tourists flocked to see the dry American Falls 563 00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:40,400 and the, of course, much stronger than usual Horseshoe Falls. 564 00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:44,960 And lots of coins were recovered... and two bodies. 565 00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:47,160 JASON: Were they both in barrels? 566 00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:50,760 One came out and went, "Thank God!" 567 00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:52,120 I found his glove! 568 00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:53,960 LAUGHTER 569 00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:56,440 Funnily enough, the very first person to go over in a barrel 570 00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:59,600 is pretty much what she did say when she came out. It was a woman 571 00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:04,480 called Annie Edson Taylor and she survived the experience in 1901. 572 00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:06,760 She was 63 years old at the time. 573 00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:08,320 Crazy Annie. Crazy Annie. 574 00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:11,280 She did it because she hadn't got any money. What I like about this - 575 00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:14,680 a few days before she did it, she sent her cat over the falls 576 00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:18,520 to see if the barrel would break. 577 00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:21,000 - Oh! - And after she came out... 578 00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:24,400 - It makes sense... - Check it out. After she came out she said, 579 00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:26,800 "If it was with my dying breath, 580 00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:30,040 "I would caution anyone against attempting the feat. 581 00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:33,200 "I would sooner walk up to the mouth of a cannon knowing it was going to 582 00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:36,760 "blow me to pieces than make another trip over the falls." 583 00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:39,840 - She absolutely hated it. - Is that picture of her before or after 584 00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:43,360 - she got in that barrel? - That is after, when she survived. - Right. 585 00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:46,840 She got in like that and got like that, with the hat still on...? 586 00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:48,840 LAUGHTER 587 00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:51,040 The cat wasn't necessary, really. 588 00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:54,360 I don't think the cat was going to affect the strength of the barrel. 589 00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:56,520 She hated that cat. 590 00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:59,040 Just an excuse to get rid of it. 591 00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:01,440 It's fantastically dangerous. Captain Matthew Webb, 592 00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:05,000 who was the very first person to swim the English Channel, so a tremendously good swimmer, 593 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:08,160 he died in an attempt to swim the whirlpool rapids below Niagara Falls. 594 00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:09,960 The water is phenomenally strong. 595 00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:13,640 You can only swim a whirlpool rapid if you got one leg, apparently. 596 00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:17,400 Well, we must certainly test that out some time. 597 00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:20,920 There's a wonderful waterfall in the city of St John 598 00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:24,640 in New Brunswick in Canada, and the waterfall flows upwards. 599 00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:29,000 It's the most astonishing thing. Twice a day, the tide in the bay 600 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:30,440 rises 28ft 6in, 601 00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:33,240 to the point that it overtops the waterfall over which 602 00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:35,960 the St John River normally flows, and the river flows backwards. 603 00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:39,400 - Wow. - Isn't that amazing? - We've learnt so much, haven't we? 604 00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:42,200 LAUGHTER 605 00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:45,960 You've gotta be careful with the show, what you take away from it, 606 00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:47,640 because you can hear people in pubs 607 00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:49,160 and they'll say, "This happened." 608 00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:51,480 And you go, "No." They go, "Saw it on QI." 609 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:54,240 It's become that... I was chatting to a friend of mine, 610 00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:56,480 said I was thinking about going to Venice. 611 00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:59,280 And he said, "I don't do Venice. Full of racists. 612 00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:02,120 "It's a racist town." I said, "How's it a racist town?" 613 00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:06,240 He says, "Yeah, all the gondoliers, they've gotta be black." 614 00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:08,520 I said, "I don't think that's true." 615 00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:10,600 He said, "No, it's true, I saw it on QI." 616 00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:13,600 He said, "Honestly, I don't know how they've got past the EU with it 617 00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:16,560 "but every single one of them has to be black." 618 00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:19,360 I said, "I don't think that's true." Anyway, about three days later, 619 00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:23,080 he rang me up, he went, "I meant gondolas, the actual gondola." 620 00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:25,560 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 621 00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:28,120 DROWNED OUT BY APPLAUSE 622 00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:32,600 Make sure you're always listening. 623 00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:38,400 Niagara Falls got its first real really good clean 624 00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:43,600 in the summer of '69. And, now, another dirty northern secret. 625 00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:48,240 What's the worst disaster that doggers ever experienced? 626 00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:51,760 Child locks. 627 00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:53,880 LAUGHTER 628 00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:58,080 When you have to wait for somebody to get out and let you out. 629 00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:01,440 It's like the walk of shame, but you're just lying there. 630 00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:05,160 - I assume, I assume. - It's not that. - Are you looking for an N? 631 00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:09,440 - Is the answer an N? - It is a place in an N, if that is of assistance. 632 00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:12,280 Is it Dogger Bank? It is to do with Dogger Bay. 633 00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:14,840 It isn't to do with dogging. It is indeed to do with Dogger Bank. 634 00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:17,880 I was going to say a nipple trapped in an air vent. 635 00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:20,120 LAUGHTER 636 00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:23,920 JASON: I imagine window wipers are a nightmare. 637 00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:26,440 They're not in the car, though, are they? 638 00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:29,160 - Yeah, but there's people watching. - Oh. 639 00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:31,720 - How close do they get? - It depends. 640 00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:38,520 "Back off! You're supposed to be at the other side of the car park... 641 00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:42,360 "..casually!" 642 00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:44,760 OK, it's nothing to do with dogging. 643 00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:47,000 You shouldn't have put the car up, then! 644 00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:49,560 Why did you put a picture of some doggers up there in a car? 645 00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:53,280 That is people on their way to the North Sea to see 646 00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:55,840 where Doggerland used to be, 647 00:33:55,840 --> 00:34:00,360 which is the worst-named amusement park of all time. 648 00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:03,800 It was an area of land which attached Britain to mainland Europe 649 00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:06,200 between East Anglia and the Netherlands. 650 00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:08,600 And it was populated by prehistoric humans. 651 00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:11,760 It very slowly flooded by rising sea levels until, eventually, 652 00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:14,440 it was deluged by a tsunami triggered by 653 00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:17,480 a massive undersea landslide in Norway in 6000 BC. 654 00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:20,320 So it now lies under the North Sea. 655 00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:23,720 - Don't be offended, but you lost me a bit there. - OK, so... 656 00:34:23,720 --> 00:34:26,720 It's attached to Britain. Then there was a tsunami, 657 00:34:26,720 --> 00:34:29,680 an ice age, a volcano... 658 00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:31,360 8,000 years ago... 659 00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:34,040 - Oh, I'm with you, yeah. - There was a bit of land. - Yup. 660 00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:38,080 - And then there was a flood. - Right. - And now it's not there any more. 661 00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:40,280 LAUGHTER 662 00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:45,320 That was clear. Was it clear? That was clear. 663 00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:48,640 You mentioned dogging - the actual dogging capital of Britain 664 00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:50,640 is a place called Elmbridge. 665 00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:54,120 It has ten areas identified by the police as being places 666 00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:57,840 where strangers...watch each other...knowing each other. 667 00:34:57,840 --> 00:34:59,440 I'm trying to be polite. 668 00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:02,160 Compared with, for example, just two in the whole of Sussex. 669 00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:04,720 - And Elmbridge... - I knew it'd be somewhere in the South, though. 670 00:35:04,720 --> 00:35:08,160 - Well, it's a very wealthy part. - Warmer, innit? 671 00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:10,600 LAUGHTER 672 00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:13,120 Often know as England's Beverly Hills. 673 00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:16,440 Its 130,000 residents pay £1.2 billion 674 00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:19,640 in income tax, which is more than Newcastle and Cardiff combined. 675 00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:23,360 - Oh, my God. - Yeah. - More than Starbucks and Google combined. 676 00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:26,000 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 677 00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:27,480 Satire! 678 00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:34,320 Sounds like you're connecting those two things, the dogging thing 679 00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:36,960 and the tax - it's not a defence, is it? 680 00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,360 "At least I pay me taxes!" 681 00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:42,320 LAUGHTER 682 00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:45,640 "How much have you paid? I'll bang her if I want!" 683 00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:49,160 All I'm saying is... 684 00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:53,000 They've probably got electric windows. 685 00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:56,520 I doubt they've got the old keep-fit windows, have they? 686 00:35:56,520 --> 00:35:59,120 - If they had a Doggerland for doggers... - Yes. 687 00:35:59,120 --> 00:36:03,680 ..and just make it more fun instead of sort of sinister. 688 00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:06,640 Have rides you could have sex on. 689 00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:10,280 Yeah. Make it, you know, like a Disneyland. 690 00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:13,240 - I think that's a very good idea. - Doggerland's under water, 691 00:36:13,240 --> 00:36:16,360 they'd have to get all that scuba equipment on. 692 00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:19,240 And have a little flap on your wetsuit. 693 00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:24,400 Your dog's got to have a little mask on. 694 00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:27,880 In German, "dogging" just means exercising the dog. 695 00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:30,480 I like that they're rather literal about it. 696 00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:33,600 I bet they've got a word for the other stuff... 697 00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:36,760 I imagine a German visiting Elmbridge would get a surprise. 698 00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:39,040 LAUGHTER 699 00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:42,400 All this talk of the north brings us to the arctic wastelands 700 00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:44,360 of general ignorance. 701 00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:46,840 So, fingers on buzzers, please. 702 00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:48,640 ♪ Wah! Wah! ♪ 703 00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:50,960 LAUGHTER 704 00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:52,840 APPLAUSE 705 00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:58,640 Very, very sensitive. 706 00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:02,800 As, indeed, are my ears. 707 00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:06,760 Now, we all know where this comes from, don't we? 708 00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:09,120 ♪ It's oh so quiet... ♪ 709 00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:10,800 Jason. 710 00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:12,600 Japan. 711 00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:15,800 KLAXON BLARES 712 00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:18,960 - It's got to be done, it's got to be done. - So, here's the thing. 713 00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:21,560 In the 1970s, Japan didn't import fish, 714 00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:25,240 and salmon was not on any sashimi menu. 715 00:37:25,240 --> 00:37:28,640 And, I love this, in the early '80s, there was a seafood delegation 716 00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:30,520 from Norway - 717 00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:33,040 totally different place to Denmark... 718 00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:34,680 LAUGHTER 719 00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:36,920 ..and they began a thing called Project Japan 720 00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:39,560 and they wanted to sell Norwegian salmon to the country, 721 00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:42,880 and, these days, Norwegian salmon is the sashimi fish of choice. 722 00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:46,040 Can I just ask, do you know those salmon in that waterfall that 723 00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:48,880 goes backwards, what do they do there, then? 724 00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:50,760 LAUGHTER 725 00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:54,160 Do they dive down, then, or do they... 726 00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:57,000 Or do they go up but reverse up? 727 00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:04,720 - It's a fair point, I think you'll... - It's going to keep me awake. 728 00:38:06,240 --> 00:38:11,400 Supplementary question - in Japanese cuisine, the milt, M-I-L-T, 729 00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:14,960 the milt of some fish is a delicacy. Does anyone know what it is? 730 00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:18,040 It's the leather trousers. It's the leather trousers? 731 00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:20,280 A milt is a mum in leather trousers. 732 00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:22,400 LAUGHTER 733 00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:24,600 APPLAUSE 734 00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:26,600 ♪ Wah! Wah! ♪ 735 00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:30,960 I think that's a Roger McGough. No, it's something in the trousers. 736 00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:33,560 - Something in the trousers? - Something in the trousers, as it were. 737 00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:36,560 They don't wear trousers, but if they did, it would be in the trousers. 738 00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:39,320 If a fish wore trousers, it'd be in the fish's trousers? 739 00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:42,040 It would be in a boy's fish's trousers. 740 00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:45,720 Someone shouted out "sperm" again. It can't be sperm every time! 741 00:38:45,720 --> 00:38:47,760 - It is sperm. - It is sperm! 742 00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:50,520 LAUGHTER 743 00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:55,080 The correct name for fish sperm is milt, OK? Molluscs have it, too. 744 00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:58,760 - And they spray it on the roe. That's pretty much how it works. - Why? 745 00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:02,080 Japanese salmon sashimi actually comes from Norway. 746 00:39:02,080 --> 00:39:03,920 What's the one untrue thing 747 00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:06,600 that everyone in Norway believes about lemmings? 748 00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:08,680 That they're Danish. No, that they... 749 00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:10,400 LAUGHTER 750 00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:14,120 That they throw themselves off things in a kind of, you know, 751 00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:15,920 anthropomorphised suicide leap. 752 00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:18,160 KLAXON BLARES 753 00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:22,880 - Is that good enough? - It's not been a good show for you. 754 00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:25,920 No, in fact, in the very first episode ever of QI, 755 00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:29,280 it was talked about the fact that lemmings do not commit suicide. 756 00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:32,160 No, but, hang on, wasn't the question what was the one thing... 757 00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:34,720 - I was expecting to be... - Yes, but it is the most common... 758 00:39:34,720 --> 00:39:36,400 - It is a double bluff. - It was. 759 00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:38,840 It isn't the most common myth about them in Norway. 760 00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:42,000 No, the most common myth in Norway is that lemmings are really angry - 761 00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:46,200 they don't look it - and they get so stressed that they burst. 762 00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:48,360 LAUGHTER 763 00:39:48,360 --> 00:39:50,120 Wow! 764 00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:53,400 And parents will tell children not to chase after lemmings 765 00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:58,360 - in case they explode. - I love that! 766 00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:02,400 I love a parent just lying to children. It's brilliant. 767 00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:03,920 The myth seems to have come about 768 00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:06,400 because lemmings get very aggressive if approached. 769 00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:07,880 They shriek and jump about. 770 00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:11,800 And there's an old saying in Norway, "As angry as a lemming." 771 00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:15,680 Wow. My dad used to tell us that black pudding lived in the garden. 772 00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:18,000 LAUGHTER 773 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,280 I'd be out there for hours! 774 00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:22,360 Looking for black pudding! 775 00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:24,960 I mean, I feel like an idiot now. 776 00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:27,240 LAUGHTER 777 00:40:27,240 --> 00:40:30,080 Well, it's good of you to be here and share it with us. 778 00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:32,160 Finally, we go north of the border. 779 00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:36,000 What's the main source of sugar for the people of Scotland? 780 00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:38,000 ♪ So still... ♪ 781 00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:40,160 - Rhod. - I know it's going to go "bring" 782 00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:43,560 and you're going to laugh at me, but deep-fried Mars bars, somebody's got to say it. 783 00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:46,480 KLAXON BLARES, LAUGHTER 784 00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:51,040 The things I do! 785 00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:53,200 Is it edible bagpipes? 786 00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:55,920 Liquorice bagpipes? 787 00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:58,480 They do look like they're made of liquorice, don't they? 788 00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:00,360 Something surprising, Lucy, that... 789 00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:03,720 I mean, sperm has been the running theme, hasn't it, but... 790 00:41:03,720 --> 00:41:06,400 LAUGHTER 791 00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:08,560 APPLAUSE 792 00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:15,560 It's not their main source of sugar. 793 00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:19,480 - In Scotland? - In Scotland, yes. 794 00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:22,720 Other places, maybe sperm is the very thing... 795 00:41:22,720 --> 00:41:24,440 It is fruit. 796 00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:25,760 - Oh. - Oh. 797 00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:29,920 Unexpectedly, they did a study in 2015, and they found that 798 00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:33,040 the single biggest source of sugar in the Scottish diet is fruit. 799 00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:37,760 12.3%. I'm not saying that the Scottish diet is all that 800 00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:42,000 healthy because soft drinks came second. And confectionery third. 801 00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,120 Then biscuits, then cakes. 802 00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:45,960 LAUGHTER 803 00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:48,920 Intriguingly, 65% of the Scottish population are either 804 00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:50,880 overweight or obese. 805 00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:52,320 Well, you'd know, Rhod. 806 00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:55,800 LAUGHTER 807 00:41:55,800 --> 00:42:01,000 Scotland's sugar hit of choice is a healthy portion of fruit. 808 00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:03,320 Deep-fried. 809 00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:06,280 All of which healthy eating brings us to the fruity matter of 810 00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:10,160 - the scores. And let's have a look. - Oh, boy. - Starting with the winner. 811 00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:14,280 I'm going to tell you that the winner with 12 points is Alan! 812 00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:16,960 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 813 00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:24,200 In second place with two points, it's Lucy! 814 00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:27,600 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 815 00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:31,800 In third place, minus 16, it's Jason! 816 00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:33,800 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 817 00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:38,560 Can't even remember the name of the man who came fourth. 818 00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:41,720 He's gone from my mind. With minus 22, it's Rhod! 819 00:42:41,720 --> 00:42:44,040 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 820 00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:54,880 Well, that's all from Lucy, Rhod, Jason, Alan and me. 821 00:42:54,880 --> 00:42:57,440 I've enjoyed our time in the north, 822 00:42:57,440 --> 00:43:01,000 and I leave you with this from the Danish mathematician, Piet Hein. 823 00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:03,480 It's in the glove area, this one. 824 00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:07,480 "Losing one glove is certainly painful but nothing compared 825 00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:09,120 "to the pain of losing one, 826 00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:12,600 "throwing away the other, and finding the first one again." 827 00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:14,080 Good night.