1
00:00:01,093 --> 00:00:03,613
(piano playing)
2
00:00:06,226 --> 00:00:07,772
(echoing) ♪ This song ♪
3
00:00:08,022 --> 00:00:11,404
♪ Is so dramatic ♪
4
00:00:11,778 --> 00:00:13,778
(echoing) ♪ I got feelings ♪
5
00:00:13,814 --> 00:00:16,684
♪ So many feelings ♪
6
00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:19,384
Paige: ♪ And now there's wind ♪
7
00:00:19,419 --> 00:00:22,974
- Whoosh.
- ♪ That's more dramatic ♪
8
00:00:23,423 --> 00:00:26,367
Frankie: ♪ Look, I'm at a rainy window ♪
9
00:00:26,417 --> 00:00:29,395
♪ It's like the window's crying too ♪
10
00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:32,264
- ♪ This song ♪
- Key change.
11
00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:34,507
♪ Got more dramatic ♪
12
00:00:35,436 --> 00:00:38,237
♪ I tried to fight against the wind ♪
13
00:00:38,272 --> 00:00:41,340
♪ But then it's really picking up ♪
14
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:44,019
- ♪ My pain ♪
- Another key change.
15
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,498
♪ My pain, it hurts me ♪
16
00:00:47,615 --> 00:00:49,813
♪ Those words are really vague ♪
17
00:00:49,838 --> 00:00:53,285
♪ But oh, my gosh, are they dramatic ♪
18
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:54,620
♪ Dramatic! ♪
19
00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:56,355
All right, this is excessive.
20
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:57,589
♪ Dra-dra-dramatic! ♪
21
00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:01,593
♪ The wind is back again ♪
22
00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:05,364
♪ And oh, no, look! The flower's dead! ♪
23
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,166
Both: ♪ This song... ♪
24
00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:11,503
Only 800 views?
25
00:01:11,539 --> 00:01:13,539
This video has been up for a month.
26
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:15,340
(sighs) I'm beginning to think
27
00:01:15,376 --> 00:01:18,177
we're gonna have to go to college.
28
00:01:18,212 --> 00:01:22,347
Paige, do not jump
to worst-case scenarios!
29
00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:25,484
Why aren't our videos more popular?
30
00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:27,586
We put so much thought into them.
31
00:01:27,621 --> 00:01:29,655
Maybe that's the problem.
32
00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:31,323
Have you seen what's big online?
33
00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:34,460
This guy has 50 million views
and he just says,
34
00:01:34,495 --> 00:01:36,195
- "Wobble, wobble."
- Man: Wobble, wobble.
35
00:01:36,230 --> 00:01:37,663
(laughs) Why am I laughing at that?
36
00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:41,767
But I don't want to make
dumb videos like that.
37
00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:43,402
Our stuff is good.
38
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,537
It's that kind of attitude
that's keeping us from
39
00:01:45,572 --> 00:01:47,706
being the next Guy
Who Sneezes Like a Goat.
40
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:50,575
(guy sneezes like goat)
41
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:51,677
(laughs)
42
00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:53,779
Why am I laughing at that?
43
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:56,481
My point is, the less thinking you do,
44
00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:58,417
the more popular you are online.
45
00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,652
So, let's make a video
that we put no thought into
46
00:02:00,688 --> 00:02:02,487
and break the Internet. Think about it.
47
00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:04,656
But don't, because again,
that is the key to failure.
48
00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:07,726
All right. Let's do it.
49
00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:10,429
Let's be the next
Egg Sliding Down a Wall.
50
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:13,732
(both laugh)
51
00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:14,833
Why are we laughing at that?
52
00:02:14,868 --> 00:02:16,612
(theme music playing)
53
00:02:16,647 --> 00:02:17,802
Both: ♪ You could spend all day ♪
54
00:02:17,827 --> 00:02:20,053
♪ On a swing eating a baguette ♪
55
00:02:20,127 --> 00:02:21,673
♪ But why do boring things like that ♪
56
00:02:21,740 --> 00:02:24,347
♪ When there's the Internet? ♪
57
00:02:24,612 --> 00:02:26,578
♪ Let's go make some videos ♪
58
00:02:26,614 --> 00:02:28,347
♪ Hey! Hey! ♪
59
00:02:28,372 --> 00:02:30,516
- ♪ Let's go make some videos ♪
- ♪ Hey! ♪
60
00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:33,285
♪ You could watch Dirk
doing crazy dares ♪
61
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:34,520
- ♪ Saying, "Here we go" ♪
- Here we go!
62
00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:36,321
♪ He'll do anything you want ♪
63
00:02:36,357 --> 00:02:37,456
♪ Just don't try this at home ♪
64
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:39,424
♪ Or watch Amelia teaching ya ♪
65
00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:41,226
♪ How to look your best ♪
66
00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:44,229
♪ Making over people is
her never-ending quest ♪
67
00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:45,364
♪ You could watch... ♪
68
00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:47,366
Do you have constant foot odor?
69
00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:52,504
♪ You could watch us make
ridiculously funny videos ♪
70
00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:54,473
♪ Like the one with evil pop-up books ♪
71
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,275
♪ That punch you in the nose ♪
72
00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:58,277
♪ Let's go make some videos ♪
73
00:02:58,312 --> 00:02:59,511
♪ Hey! Hey! ♪
74
00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:01,210
♪ Let's go make some videos ♪
75
00:03:01,235 --> 00:03:03,035
And I... I missed it.
76
00:03:03,059 --> 00:03:06,570
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
77
00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:13,192
Dear CEO of Muscle Dragon Muscle Powder,
78
00:03:13,227 --> 00:03:16,562
I have been trying
to unscrew your lid for hours.
79
00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:23,268
It is impossible.
80
00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:25,437
Sup, Bern-man?
81
00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:27,306
Muscle Dragon?
82
00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:29,241
I love the new easy-open lid.
83
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:32,444
Yeah? I wouldn't know. I usually just...
84
00:03:32,479 --> 00:03:34,546
punch a hole in the side.
85
00:03:34,582 --> 00:03:36,548
What's with the boxes?
86
00:03:36,584 --> 00:03:38,417
Moving out of my parents' house.
87
00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:40,319
We had a big blowup last night.
88
00:03:40,354 --> 00:03:41,587
I'm sorry.
89
00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:42,654
What was the argument about?
90
00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:45,624
No, I did a dare
that blew up my bedroom.
91
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:47,459
What was the dare?
92
00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:49,561
To blow up my bedroom.
93
00:03:49,597 --> 00:03:51,530
Well, a random person online
94
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,665
tells you to do something,
you gotta do it.
95
00:03:55,502 --> 00:03:58,203
Hey, you should move in
with me and my grandma.
96
00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:00,339
Dirk and Bernie as roomies.
97
00:04:00,374 --> 00:04:03,375
Imagine how awesome that would be.
98
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:06,278
Bernie: ♪ Me and my
friend living together ♪
99
00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:08,347
♪ Life is really fun ♪
100
00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:11,483
♪ Me and my friend getting our lift on ♪
101
00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:13,585
♪ Gonna be jacked when we're done ♪
102
00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:16,521
♪ Me and my friend
hanging with showgirls ♪
103
00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:18,590
♪ It's what roomies do ♪
104
00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:21,526
♪ Me and my friend
benching with showgirls ♪
105
00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:24,162
♪ Drinking Muscle Powder too! ♪
106
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:28,433
Bern-man, are you okay?
107
00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:31,370
You just zoned out for like 45 seconds.
108
00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:33,238
I'm better than okay.
109
00:04:33,274 --> 00:04:35,307
You're coming to live with us.
110
00:04:35,342 --> 00:04:37,276
(mumbling theme song)
111
00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:39,211
Bernie?
112
00:04:39,246 --> 00:04:40,345
Bern-man?
113
00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:42,547
(sighs) Lost him again.
114
00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:48,587
Okay, in the spirit of not thinking,
115
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:50,322
I put up a bunch of words on this board.
116
00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:52,591
We'll throw these darts,
and whatever words they hit,
117
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,259
that's the video we make.
118
00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:56,295
Remember, simple idea.
No thinking required.
119
00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:57,429
Got it.
120
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:00,600
"Meaning."
121
00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:04,202
"Life." "Meaning" of "life"?
122
00:05:04,238 --> 00:05:06,571
Really? That's the first one you threw?
123
00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:08,440
All right, you try.
124
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:12,577
Paige: "Xylophone."
125
00:05:14,381 --> 00:05:16,248
"Monorail." Is that like...
126
00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:18,216
a xylophone that rides on the monorail
127
00:05:18,252 --> 00:05:19,618
or a monorail made of xylophones?
128
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:23,188
Ooh! Maybe there's
a town called Xylophone...
129
00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:24,623
Too much thinking. Let's try again.
130
00:05:29,330 --> 00:05:30,429
Frankie: "Electronic."
131
00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:33,565
"Mail." Email?
132
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,500
Why didn't we do this 30 years ago?
133
00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:36,635
We'd be billionaires!
134
00:05:39,606 --> 00:05:42,341
Is that Moosetashio?
135
00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:44,242
That moose costume we bought last year
136
00:05:44,278 --> 00:05:46,178
when we were trying to
sneak into the zoo for free?
137
00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:47,512
Yeah. Remember we got banned
138
00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:49,514
because you freaked out the meerkats?
139
00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:53,618
Sometimes at night
I can still hear their screams.
140
00:05:53,654 --> 00:05:56,321
Hey, why don't we make
a video where I just dress up
141
00:05:56,357 --> 00:05:57,656
as Moosetashio and act like an idiot?
142
00:05:57,691 --> 00:06:01,526
Frankie, that is the laziest
thing you have ever... (gasps)
143
00:06:03,163 --> 00:06:04,196
(ragtime music plays)
144
00:06:04,231 --> 00:06:06,531
Frankie: I'm Moosetashio the Moose.
145
00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:09,468
Do you know
what "Moosetashio" rhymes with?
146
00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:12,337
Whoa!
147
00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:15,273
Moosetashio, that doesn't rhyme!
148
00:06:15,309 --> 00:06:16,408
Neither does this!
149
00:06:16,443 --> 00:06:20,145
Awooga-ooga-ooga!
150
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:21,279
Do you have anything else to say
151
00:06:21,315 --> 00:06:23,181
before you get going, Moosetashio?
152
00:06:23,217 --> 00:06:25,317
Yeah, my catchphrase.
153
00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:26,618
Moose-aroni!
154
00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:31,156
Both: See you later, Moosetashio!
155
00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:32,391
(ragtime music plays)
156
00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:36,428
Wow, that was really dumb.
157
00:06:36,463 --> 00:06:37,529
Post it.
158
00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:44,236
I don't want him living
with us, Bernard.
159
00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:45,437
He's like a wild animal.
160
00:06:45,472 --> 00:06:48,173
(gasping)
161
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:50,175
Collectible plates?
162
00:06:51,345 --> 00:06:52,577
A laundry chute?
163
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:56,515
A tacky old-lady couch?
164
00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:58,650
I wonder if it's bouncy.
165
00:06:58,685 --> 00:07:01,486
(gasps) It is!
166
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:05,290
Please?
167
00:07:05,325 --> 00:07:06,425
He can do tricks!
168
00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:07,492
Hey, DareHeads!
169
00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:10,128
Today, I'm gonna walk
everywhere on my hands.
170
00:07:10,164 --> 00:07:12,230
Here we go!
171
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:14,499
Well, he is kind of cute.
172
00:07:14,535 --> 00:07:16,268
So, he can stay?
173
00:07:16,303 --> 00:07:18,603
Okay, but he's your responsibility.
174
00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:20,605
Ya have to feed him
and clean up after him.
175
00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:23,141
Otherwise, he's going
back to the shelter...
176
00:07:23,177 --> 00:07:24,309
of his own home.
177
00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:27,179
Thanks, Grandma.
178
00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:28,447
You won't even notice he's here.
179
00:07:28,482 --> 00:07:29,482
Oh!
180
00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:31,616
(laughs)
181
00:07:33,454 --> 00:07:34,586
Starting now.
182
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,188
Yippee!
183
00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:38,223
(crashing, thudding)
184
00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:41,226
- Now.
- (crashing, clattering)
185
00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:45,564
- Now.
- (crashing, clattering)
186
00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:47,532
Okay, now I feel like I'm causing it.
187
00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:54,606
I'm having second thoughts
about our Moosetashio video.
188
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:56,374
And first thoughts.
189
00:07:56,410 --> 00:07:59,511
Both are, "I'm ashamed of myself."
190
00:07:59,546 --> 00:08:01,513
Yeah, I said some things I regret.
191
00:08:01,548 --> 00:08:04,549
Mainly "Awooga-ooga."
192
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:07,552
Let's take it down.
It's only been up one night.
193
00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:08,588
I doubt anyone saw it.
194
00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:10,155
Look!
195
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:12,124
It's the Moosetashio girls!
196
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:13,525
Children: Yay!
197
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:15,527
Moosetashio! Moosetashio!
198
00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:18,263
- Moosetashio! Moosetashio!
- What the heck is going on?
199
00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:20,332
You're friends with Moosetashio,
200
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:22,234
our new favorite character!
201
00:08:22,269 --> 00:08:23,535
Your favorite character's a moose
202
00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:25,403
who falls down and says "Moose-aroni"?
203
00:08:25,439 --> 00:08:28,306
She said it! She said the catch phrase!
204
00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:32,344
Children: Moose-aroni! Moose-aroni!
205
00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:33,545
Moose-aroni!
206
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:37,249
Frankie, this video has
over a million views.
207
00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:39,151
Well, yeah, on Vuuugle Jr.
208
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:40,552
That's for babies.
209
00:08:40,587 --> 00:08:43,188
Look at this. We're right
behind The Smiling Balloon.
210
00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:45,157
Would you rather be ahead
of The Smiling Balloon?
211
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,559
I don't know what I want anymore!
212
00:08:52,182 --> 00:08:54,082
Children: We want Moosetashio!
213
00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:56,117
We want Moosetashio!
214
00:08:56,152 --> 00:08:57,385
Oh, my gosh,
215
00:08:57,420 --> 00:08:59,153
these kids are so cute.
216
00:08:59,189 --> 00:09:01,189
That one keeps saying "Woose-tashio."
217
00:09:01,224 --> 00:09:03,124
Yeah, and that one
just peed on the floor.
218
00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:07,261
I can't believe we got popular off this.
219
00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:10,098
What we do is smart,
not a bunch of random nonsense.
220
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,365
We're Bizaardvar...
221
00:09:11,401 --> 00:09:13,134
Okay, bad example.
222
00:09:14,337 --> 00:09:16,337
I think you're looking
at this the wrong way, Frankie.
223
00:09:16,372 --> 00:09:18,239
We have a whole new audience here.
224
00:09:18,274 --> 00:09:19,340
Let's get our instruments
225
00:09:19,375 --> 00:09:21,209
and show them who Bizaardvark really is.
226
00:09:21,244 --> 00:09:22,477
Two teenagers,
227
00:09:22,512 --> 00:09:25,213
one cynical, one eternally optimistic,
228
00:09:25,248 --> 00:09:27,315
brought together by the winds
of comedic destiny?
229
00:09:27,350 --> 00:09:31,152
Yeah, but with music.
230
00:09:31,187 --> 00:09:34,055
Both: ♪ You gotta love the haters ♪
231
00:09:34,090 --> 00:09:36,124
Boo! We hate this song!
232
00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:38,126
We want Moosetashio!
233
00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:40,495
Don't you want smarter music
with a topical message?
234
00:09:40,530 --> 00:09:45,399
Bring out Moosetashio
and make a fart sound right now!
235
00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:48,503
That kid is a very specific heckler.
236
00:09:48,538 --> 00:09:51,105
Okay, thank you. We gotta go now.
237
00:09:51,141 --> 00:09:55,176
Oh, whoa, I believe
my son requested a fart sound.
238
00:09:56,312 --> 00:09:58,246
(fart sound)
239
00:09:58,281 --> 00:10:00,114
(laughter)
240
00:10:00,150 --> 00:10:01,249
(children cheer)
241
00:10:01,284 --> 00:10:05,186
Yes! All of my dreams have come true!
242
00:10:12,428 --> 00:10:14,128
(knock on door)
243
00:10:14,164 --> 00:10:15,429
Dirk: Can I come in, Bern-man?
244
00:10:15,465 --> 00:10:18,499
Hold on! Gettin' the ol' man cave ready!
245
00:10:21,471 --> 00:10:23,538
Sorry, Mr. Bear Bear.
It's only temporary.
246
00:10:23,573 --> 00:10:25,206
(squeaks)
247
00:10:26,442 --> 00:10:27,542
Come in!
248
00:10:29,479 --> 00:10:31,345
Is that a sailboat bed?
249
00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:32,513
Uh, yeah.
250
00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:35,283
It's my little cousin's.
He comes over sometimes.
251
00:10:35,318 --> 00:10:37,585
Cool! Can I be the captain?
252
00:10:37,620 --> 00:10:40,488
Oh, well, I'm usually the...
253
00:10:40,523 --> 00:10:42,490
Yeah, you can be the captain.
254
00:10:44,327 --> 00:10:45,526
Jump aboard, first mate!
255
00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:48,329
First mate? That's like,
the highest mate!
256
00:10:49,465 --> 00:10:51,566
Permission to be the best roomies ever?
257
00:10:51,601 --> 00:10:53,301
Permission granted!
258
00:10:53,336 --> 00:10:55,570
- Setting a course to Mermaid Island.
- Yeah.
259
00:10:55,605 --> 00:10:58,172
Just a heads up, I get seasick.
260
00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:01,542
Okay, 7:00, boys.
261
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,445
Lights out.
262
00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:06,447
Boy outside: Let's go play, everyone!
263
00:11:06,482 --> 00:11:08,249
The sun's gonna be out for hours!
264
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,185
Grandma!
265
00:11:11,221 --> 00:11:13,254
Hey, no back-talk. You already got to
266
00:11:13,289 --> 00:11:15,389
stay up an extra hour
'cause your friend is here.
267
00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:18,159
Remember, he's your responsibility.
268
00:11:18,194 --> 00:11:20,161
Don't worry, I've got this.
269
00:11:20,196 --> 00:11:22,563
Boy outside:
Tyler, let's go play kickball!
270
00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:24,432
It's so early!
271
00:11:29,138 --> 00:11:31,472
(grunting)
272
00:11:33,176 --> 00:11:34,408
Dirk?
273
00:11:36,246 --> 00:11:37,411
Dirk, what are you doing?
274
00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:39,580
Those are my grandma's
lucky poker slippers!
275
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:42,149
Oh, hey, roomie.
276
00:11:42,185 --> 00:11:43,384
Someone dared me
to see if I could chew up
277
00:11:43,419 --> 00:11:45,152
a pair of slippers with my teeth.
278
00:11:45,188 --> 00:11:46,487
Random, right?
279
00:11:46,522 --> 00:11:48,122
(knocking)
280
00:11:48,157 --> 00:11:50,358
Grandma: Bernard, I'm going
downtown to play cards.
281
00:11:50,393 --> 00:11:52,560
Have you seen my lucky slippers?
282
00:11:56,232 --> 00:11:58,332
Are you eating my slippers?
283
00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:01,269
Yup, it was me.
284
00:12:01,304 --> 00:12:02,436
Not Dirk.
285
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:06,073
Classic Bernie, right, Grandma?
286
00:12:06,109 --> 00:12:10,244
That's it. I'm canceling our
trip to the butterfly sanctuary.
287
00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:13,481
But the brown monarchs
are gonna be there!
288
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:19,186
- Bernie.
- (screams)
289
00:12:19,222 --> 00:12:21,389
Let's go outside. I need to
go outside and do a dare.
290
00:12:21,424 --> 00:12:23,291
Shh! You're gonna wake up Grandma!
291
00:12:23,326 --> 00:12:24,458
(knock on door)
292
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:26,193
Grandma: Is that Dirk talking in there?
293
00:12:26,229 --> 00:12:27,428
Uh, no, it was me.
294
00:12:27,463 --> 00:12:30,164
I was, uh, sleep-crying again.
295
00:12:31,401 --> 00:12:33,467
I'll give you something
to sleep-cry about.
296
00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:35,569
Your bedtime's now 3:00 p.m.
297
00:12:35,605 --> 00:12:37,505
But I go to school until 4:00!
298
00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:40,207
You find a way to make it work!
299
00:12:44,247 --> 00:12:45,379
(sighs)
300
00:12:45,415 --> 00:12:47,114
(phone chimes)
301
00:12:48,151 --> 00:12:49,183
There's another request
302
00:12:49,218 --> 00:12:51,385
for Moosetashio to fart
at a birthday party.
303
00:12:52,555 --> 00:12:55,156
We're never gonna have
any time to do our own stuff!
304
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:57,258
Don't worry. This is the Internet.
305
00:12:57,293 --> 00:12:59,493
Those kids will be on to
the next thing in five minutes.
306
00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:02,430
They'll be like,
"Moosetashio, I love you!
307
00:13:02,465 --> 00:13:05,333
"Wait, Top 10 Celebrities
Who Look Like Cucumbers?
308
00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:07,435
I'm into that now!"
309
00:13:07,470 --> 00:13:09,136
You're right.
310
00:13:09,172 --> 00:13:11,305
We'll just wait it out
and it'll all blow over.
311
00:13:12,342 --> 00:13:14,175
(phone chimes)
312
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:16,444
Oh, no, Frankie.
Look at this mommy blog.
313
00:13:16,479 --> 00:13:18,145
What up, my Mamas?
314
00:13:18,181 --> 00:13:19,347
Whoo-whoo!
315
00:13:19,382 --> 00:13:22,550
Wanna know the freshest,
new vid on the W-W-Web?
316
00:13:22,585 --> 00:13:24,218
Whoo-whoo!
317
00:13:24,253 --> 00:13:26,454
It's by a couple of young ladies
318
00:13:26,489 --> 00:13:29,557
who the Internet is calling the...
319
00:13:29,592 --> 00:13:31,425
Don't you just want
to bite their faces off?
320
00:13:31,461 --> 00:13:32,493
(makes nibbling noises)
321
00:13:32,528 --> 00:13:34,295
Trust me, you're gonna wanna
322
00:13:34,330 --> 00:13:36,464
hashbrown squad goals
with these cutie-patooties...
323
00:13:36,499 --> 00:13:38,199
(clicking tongue)
324
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:40,401
because my baby and I agree
325
00:13:40,436 --> 00:13:44,171
Paige and Frankie are cool-aroni.
326
00:13:44,207 --> 00:13:46,273
It's like "Moose-aroni,"
but I... See what I did?
327
00:13:46,309 --> 00:13:48,409
I made it "cool" and so...
328
00:13:49,612 --> 00:13:52,580
I have no idea
what that woman just said.
329
00:13:52,615 --> 00:13:55,549
She said we're
the Moosetashio Girls now.
330
00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:57,318
Bizaardvark is over!
331
00:13:57,353 --> 00:13:59,253
By the way, do you find babies cute?
332
00:13:59,288 --> 00:14:00,421
I never find babies cute.
333
00:14:02,158 --> 00:14:04,325
Can't let ourselves be defined by this.
334
00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:06,227
Who knows if other people
were defined by things
335
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:07,262
they weren't proud of?
336
00:14:07,296 --> 00:14:10,131
Maybe the Big Bad Wolf was...
337
00:14:10,166 --> 00:14:12,500
really good at lacrosse.
338
00:14:12,535 --> 00:14:14,535
You're right. If we don't do something,
339
00:14:14,570 --> 00:14:17,505
we're gonna be known as
the Moosetashio Girls forever.
340
00:14:18,574 --> 00:14:20,341
We gotta get rid of that moose.
341
00:14:21,477 --> 00:14:23,077
Hi, kids!
342
00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:24,245
It's Moosetashio!
343
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:27,248
Remember me? I'm an idiot!
344
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:30,284
Today, I'm gonna go visit
my aunt in Tucson!
345
00:14:30,319 --> 00:14:33,387
No! Moosetashio, that button
doesn't say "Tucson,"
346
00:14:33,423 --> 00:14:35,222
it says "To sun!"
347
00:14:35,258 --> 00:14:37,158
I have a mustache!
348
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:43,397
Well, kids,
349
00:14:43,433 --> 00:14:45,433
looks like he's gone forever.
350
00:14:45,468 --> 00:14:48,135
Tell your moms.
351
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:51,539
(video game beeping)
352
00:14:51,574 --> 00:14:54,408
Aww. All those dares
tired you out, huh, boy?
353
00:14:57,246 --> 00:14:59,447
Bernard, we have a problem.
354
00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:01,515
Look what Dirk did.
355
00:15:01,551 --> 00:15:03,417
I'm sorry. I'll fix
the hole in the wall.
356
00:15:03,453 --> 00:15:05,186
The hole? No.
357
00:15:05,221 --> 00:15:06,320
I did that.
358
00:15:06,355 --> 00:15:08,222
I punched it after Dirk broke
359
00:15:08,257 --> 00:15:11,425
my championship plaque
for bare-knuckle boxing.
360
00:15:11,461 --> 00:15:15,296
Those Croatians thought
they were so tough.
361
00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:17,131
Bernie... (sighs)
362
00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:19,133
Dirk can't stay here anymore.
363
00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:21,202
Grandma, please. He's my best friend.
364
00:15:21,237 --> 00:15:23,237
I'm sorry, Bernie. I just don't think
365
00:15:23,272 --> 00:15:25,272
you're ready to
take care of a DareMeBro.
366
00:15:25,308 --> 00:15:28,375
You can visit him
any time you want at Vuuugle.
367
00:15:32,448 --> 00:15:33,514
(sighs)
368
00:15:33,549 --> 00:15:36,116
It's been fun, Bern-man.
369
00:15:36,152 --> 00:15:38,486
Looks like you're the captain again.
370
00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:40,454
Permission to go ashore?
371
00:15:40,490 --> 00:15:43,257
Permission granted,
you big sack of potatoes.
372
00:15:47,463 --> 00:15:49,563
Now that the Moosetashio
thing's over, we can
373
00:15:49,599 --> 00:15:52,199
get back to making smart,
well-thought-out videos.
374
00:15:52,235 --> 00:15:54,235
What's the first thing in our notebook?
375
00:15:56,138 --> 00:15:57,404
"The Booger Tree."
376
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:01,242
Kay, what's the second thing?
377
00:16:01,277 --> 00:16:02,510
(sobbing)
378
00:16:05,181 --> 00:16:07,181
Both: Uh-oh.
379
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:08,449
Is it true?
380
00:16:08,484 --> 00:16:10,451
Is Moosetashio really gone?
381
00:16:10,486 --> 00:16:12,319
Well...
382
00:16:12,355 --> 00:16:15,055
he did get shot on a rocket into sun,
383
00:16:15,091 --> 00:16:18,092
which is over 27 million
degrees Fahrenheit,
384
00:16:18,127 --> 00:16:20,294
and he wasn't wearing a spacesuit.
385
00:16:21,364 --> 00:16:24,198
So...
386
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:25,399
So, yes.
387
00:16:25,434 --> 00:16:27,334
(children sob)
388
00:16:32,275 --> 00:16:33,275
(phone chimes)
389
00:16:34,310 --> 00:16:36,310
Oh, no. Frankie,
we have another problem.
390
00:16:36,345 --> 00:16:37,678
Look at this headline.
391
00:16:37,713 --> 00:16:43,083
"Bizaardvark Has Broken the
Hearts of Every Kid in America."
392
00:16:43,119 --> 00:16:46,353
Also, Egg Sliding Down a Wall
just got its own movie deal.
393
00:16:46,389 --> 00:16:48,355
Channing Tatum's playing the egg!
394
00:16:48,391 --> 00:16:51,254
Well, if anyone can do it, it's him.
395
00:16:57,413 --> 00:16:59,413
Frankie, it's gotten worse.
396
00:16:59,449 --> 00:17:02,283
Now people are posting reaction
videos about Moosetashio.
397
00:17:02,318 --> 00:17:03,517
Look.
398
00:17:03,553 --> 00:17:05,319
Moosetashio: I have a mustache!
399
00:17:05,354 --> 00:17:06,420
(rocket takes off)
400
00:17:06,456 --> 00:17:10,491
(sobbing)
401
00:17:10,526 --> 00:17:12,626
Why is everyone so upset?
402
00:17:12,662 --> 00:17:14,628
- It's just a dumb character.
- Yeah.
403
00:17:14,664 --> 00:17:16,564
They're acting like we did
when we were four
404
00:17:16,599 --> 00:17:18,299
and Sing Along Bus got canceled.
405
00:17:18,334 --> 00:17:20,234
Yeah, but that show was good.
406
00:17:21,304 --> 00:17:22,336
Hey, kids!
407
00:17:22,371 --> 00:17:24,638
Who's ready to hop on
the bus to Song Town?
408
00:17:24,674 --> 00:17:26,474
Doo-doo-doo!
409
00:17:26,509 --> 00:17:31,245
Now let's visit Uncle Pony
on the bus-aroni!
410
00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:34,682
Both: Oh, that's where it came from.
411
00:17:34,717 --> 00:17:38,652
Wow, Sing Along Bus is
just as lame as Moosetashio.
412
00:17:38,688 --> 00:17:41,355
But we loved Sing Along Bus
when we were little.
413
00:17:41,390 --> 00:17:44,325
Just like these kids
love Moosetashio now.
414
00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:47,561
I guess just because
we think something's bad
415
00:17:47,597 --> 00:17:50,297
doesn't mean it isn't good
to other people.
416
00:17:50,333 --> 00:17:51,665
Like Guy Who Sneezes Like a Goat
417
00:17:51,701 --> 00:17:53,434
or Egg Sliding Down a Wall
418
00:17:53,469 --> 00:17:54,602
or the guy who says, "Wobble..."
419
00:17:54,637 --> 00:17:56,504
Mm, no, not the guy
who says, "Wobble, wobble."
420
00:17:56,539 --> 00:17:58,706
That's still garbage.
421
00:17:58,741 --> 00:18:00,474
We have to fix this.
422
00:18:00,510 --> 00:18:02,576
Ooh! Hop aboard!
423
00:18:02,612 --> 00:18:04,378
Both: Doo-doo-doo!
424
00:18:04,413 --> 00:18:05,613
Next stop, Vuuugle.
425
00:18:05,648 --> 00:18:09,250
But first, we have to transfer
to the Tap Dancing Trolley,
426
00:18:09,285 --> 00:18:11,619
then we'll catch the
Friendly Ferry to Song Town.
427
00:18:11,654 --> 00:18:14,388
- Then...
- Let me off.
428
00:18:18,628 --> 00:18:21,462
Okay, I think that's everything.
429
00:18:21,497 --> 00:18:22,596
Grandma: Help!
430
00:18:22,632 --> 00:18:25,666
No thanks, I can carry it myself.
431
00:18:25,701 --> 00:18:27,301
No, you idiot!
432
00:18:27,336 --> 00:18:28,369
Help me!
433
00:18:28,404 --> 00:18:29,537
Bernie's Grandma?
434
00:18:29,572 --> 00:18:31,305
I fell in the laundry chute
435
00:18:31,340 --> 00:18:33,407
reaching for my skinny jeans!
436
00:18:33,442 --> 00:18:35,376
Also, what did I tell you?
437
00:18:35,411 --> 00:18:37,278
If you're gonna
call me "Bernie's Grandma,"
438
00:18:37,313 --> 00:18:39,313
at least put "Hot" in the middle!
439
00:18:39,348 --> 00:18:41,582
A laundry chute is
no place for a grandma!
440
00:18:41,617 --> 00:18:42,617
I'll get you out!
441
00:18:43,619 --> 00:18:46,220
- Grandma: Ooh!
- Almost there!
442
00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:47,621
Almost! (grunts)
443
00:18:47,657 --> 00:18:51,325
- Ooh!
- And gotcha!
444
00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:52,526
I'll call the fire department.
445
00:18:52,562 --> 00:18:55,229
No! I'm dating the fire chief.
446
00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:57,298
Well, one date, but I don't
want to call him yet.
447
00:18:57,333 --> 00:18:59,333
I want him to work for it.
448
00:18:59,368 --> 00:19:00,534
Well, what should I do?
449
00:19:00,570 --> 00:19:02,169
Go get Bernie.
450
00:19:02,205 --> 00:19:04,305
He's disturbingly small.
You can hold him
451
00:19:04,340 --> 00:19:05,573
by the ankles and he'll reach me.
452
00:19:05,608 --> 00:19:08,209
Bernie. I have to get Bernie!
453
00:19:09,612 --> 00:19:12,313
(fire truck siren ringtone plays)
454
00:19:12,348 --> 00:19:15,282
Oh, great, now he calls!
455
00:19:19,322 --> 00:19:20,654
Dear Vegas showgirls,
456
00:19:20,690 --> 00:19:24,225
due to circumstances beyond my control,
457
00:19:24,260 --> 00:19:26,660
your services will no longer be needed.
458
00:19:26,696 --> 00:19:28,362
(breathing heavily)
459
00:19:30,399 --> 00:19:31,498
What is it, Dirk?
460
00:19:31,534 --> 00:19:32,633
- Is it Grandma?
- (panting)
461
00:19:32,668 --> 00:19:34,668
What happened? She ate bad chicken?
462
00:19:34,704 --> 00:19:36,303
Has the flu?
463
00:19:36,339 --> 00:19:37,339
Is dating the fire chief?
464
00:19:37,373 --> 00:19:39,340
(panting)
465
00:19:39,375 --> 00:19:41,308
Can you take me to her?
466
00:19:41,344 --> 00:19:43,210
Attaboy! Take me to Grandma!
467
00:19:43,246 --> 00:19:44,511
(panting) Hold on.
468
00:19:44,547 --> 00:19:46,213
I need water first.
469
00:19:53,689 --> 00:19:56,223
We sure this video
is the right way to go?
470
00:19:56,259 --> 00:19:58,425
We don't want to be Moosetashio forever.
471
00:19:58,461 --> 00:19:59,627
The kids love him.
472
00:19:59,662 --> 00:20:02,263
I think this is a good compromise.
473
00:20:03,466 --> 00:20:07,568
Why would you use a rocket
to go to Tucson, Moosetashio?
474
00:20:07,603 --> 00:20:11,238
And who sold a rocket to a moose anyway?
475
00:20:11,274 --> 00:20:12,274
(whooshing)
476
00:20:14,577 --> 00:20:17,544
Moosetashio! You're alive!
477
00:20:17,580 --> 00:20:20,581
Yeah! It was a cloudy day
on the sun, so I pulled out
478
00:20:20,616 --> 00:20:23,350
my Moose-a-chute and jumped all the way
479
00:20:23,386 --> 00:20:26,720
back to Earth and landed
in the exact same spot!
480
00:20:26,756 --> 00:20:28,622
It makes sense!
481
00:20:30,393 --> 00:20:32,426
Hooray science!
482
00:20:33,562 --> 00:20:35,696
But sadly, I must now return
483
00:20:35,731 --> 00:20:40,267
to my home planet of... Moose-achusetts?
484
00:20:40,303 --> 00:20:42,603
Yeah, Moose-achusetts. That's a planet.
485
00:20:42,638 --> 00:20:46,340
But once every year on Moosetashio Day,
486
00:20:46,375 --> 00:20:47,741
I'll come back to make a new video
487
00:20:47,777 --> 00:20:49,710
and all the kids of the world will have
488
00:20:49,745 --> 00:20:52,379
a Moose-aroni time.
489
00:20:53,749 --> 00:20:56,483
Both: Bye, Moosetashio!
490
00:20:56,519 --> 00:20:57,584
Tell your moms.
491
00:20:59,322 --> 00:21:00,688
(sighs) I'm really glad we did that.
492
00:21:00,723 --> 00:21:02,456
Yeah. Feels good.
493
00:21:03,693 --> 00:21:05,426
Oh, hey!
494
00:21:05,461 --> 00:21:07,528
Top 10 Celebrities
Who Look Like Cucumbers!
495
00:21:07,563 --> 00:21:08,662
Ooh! Click on that!
496
00:21:12,501 --> 00:21:14,535
Thanks for pullin' me out, guys.
497
00:21:14,570 --> 00:21:16,403
And Bernie, I'm sorry this is
498
00:21:16,439 --> 00:21:19,506
how you had to learn
about Chief Pulaski.
499
00:21:19,542 --> 00:21:22,476
If you marry him, do you think
we could take his name?
500
00:21:23,546 --> 00:21:26,246
"Chief Bernie."
501
00:21:26,282 --> 00:21:27,681
Well, I'm all packed up.
502
00:21:27,717 --> 00:21:29,550
See you around.
503
00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:32,252
Wait!
504
00:21:35,424 --> 00:21:36,490
I'll miss you, man.
505
00:21:38,294 --> 00:21:39,560
Having you here was like
506
00:21:39,595 --> 00:21:42,496
having the brother I always wanted.
507
00:21:42,531 --> 00:21:45,466
Guess I'll just have to
get used to being alone again.
508
00:21:47,370 --> 00:21:49,670
You know what, I'm reaching that age now
509
00:21:49,705 --> 00:21:51,605
where falling into a laundry chute
510
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:54,508
could be a daily occurrence.
511
00:21:54,543 --> 00:21:57,411
Maybe Dirk should stick around
until his room is ready.
512
00:21:57,446 --> 00:21:59,713
Really? You mean I can keep him?
513
00:21:59,749 --> 00:22:02,416
That's awesome, Bernie's Hot Grandma!
514
00:22:03,552 --> 00:22:05,619
I promise I'll be more...
515
00:22:05,654 --> 00:22:07,688
Wait a minute, "Keep him"?
516
00:22:07,723 --> 00:22:09,623
What, do you think
like I'm a dog or something?
517
00:22:09,658 --> 00:22:12,559
What? Of course not!
518
00:22:12,595 --> 00:22:15,662
How about we go to the park
and throw around the ball?
519
00:22:15,698 --> 00:22:17,398
Ball? Let's go!
520
00:22:20,736 --> 00:22:22,569
♪ Me and my house ♪
521
00:22:22,605 --> 00:22:24,371
♪ Bernie is gone ♪
522
00:22:24,407 --> 00:22:27,341
♪ Now time to have some fun ♪
523
00:22:27,504 --> 00:22:32,504
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com