1
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Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com

2
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[exhales heavily]

3
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[chuckles]

4
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I would like to say that...

5
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I was wrong.

6
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And...

7
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I'm very, very sorry.

8
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About what?

9
00:00:53,096 --> 00:00:54,597
- What do you got?
- Oh, good grief.

10
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What? Mom! [chuckles]

11
00:00:56,558 --> 00:00:58,810
It was a blanket apology.
I think that's very generous.

12
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Plus, it's retroactive.
So, enjoy.

13
00:01:01,188 --> 00:01:03,523
A blanket apology.
Claudia, is that even allowed?

14
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Everything is allowed here.

15
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Feel free to apologize,
scream, cry, complain, argue.

16
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Anything short of physical confrontation.

17
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- There goes my next thing.
- Did I not tell you?

18
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You've brought the room to a halt.

19
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Like it was
a Penn and Teller show before?

20
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Oh, that mouth.

21
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You were the one complaining
that I wasn't saying anything.

22
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Without my mouth, how do I speak?

23
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To quote Alanis Morissette,
"Isn't it ironic?"

24
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Do you know what that means?

25
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Claudia, let the record show,
I broke the silence here today, okay?

26
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She wasn't saying anything either.
Write that down in your scorebook.

27
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I am not keeping score.

28
00:01:37,182 --> 00:01:40,310
But the apology was insincere.
Put that in your scorebook, too.

29
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- She should not get points for that.
- I'm not keeping score.

30
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It's insulting to apologize
unless it's for something specific, okay?

31
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- Okay, sorry. I'm sorry.
- [sighs]

32
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Sorry.
How do I get out of this?

33
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Lorelai, listen to me.

34
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We are here today
so that Claudia can meet you

35
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and see the two of us together.
That's it.

36
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- Stop pressing.
- [softly] Okay.

37
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[sighs]

38
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How much time do we have left?

39
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About 40 minutes.

40
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[groans]

41
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[Lorelai] Psst.

42
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- [whispers] How much time do we have...
- Stop asking that!

43
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Why, did I bring the deafening silence
to a halt again?

44
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Bring a watch next time, or an egg timer.
Just stop bothering her.

45
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Can I, uh, jump in here?

46
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- Please.
- You're not prisoners.

47
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Neither one of you.
And there are no rules.

48
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So talk or don't talk.

49
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Because there's a lot being said
in the silences.

50
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- What is being said?
- Is that what you're writing?

51
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- Will we see those notes?
- Who's winning?

52
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No one's winning,
and my book is confidential.

53
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If you're trying to read Claudia's watch,
I'm gonna throw you out that window.

54
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- Well, ladies, I'm afraid time's up.
- Yes!

55
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- I don't believe it.
- [sighs] What?

56
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- You ran out the clock.
- So did you.

57
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Today was for you to speak, not me.

58
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I spoke. You gave me credit, right?

59
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That's not what I'm doing here.

60
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We'll just have to start over next week.

61
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- We're on for Tuesday at 10:30.
- I can't make it.

62
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- You have something more important to do?
- Just my life, Mom.

63
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I'm sorry. I didn't wanna burden you
with this, but I guess I have to.

64
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- Oh, boy.
- Your mother is in pain.

65
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A widow in pain.

66
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- That's a good place to stop.
- That's a terrible place to stop.

67
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She doesn't get to go out like that,
with the bazookas blasting.

68
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I have somebody waiting.

69
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So this is an intrusion.
Is that what you think?

70
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- My big bazookas are intruding on you?
- Mom...

71
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Doesn't it mean anything to you,
that I am this raw nerve

72
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appealing to my only child
to help me through this period?

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So... 10:30.

74
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10:30.

75
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Well, she used that maneuver.
Write that down.

76
00:04:21,554 --> 00:04:24,641
Let's start with Swedish meatballs,
then some Peruvian salchipapas

77
00:04:24,724 --> 00:04:26,601
and then Indonesian rice porridge.

78
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Head straight
for the Norwegian stomach pump.

79
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It all looks good.
Shoot. I have to leave in a half hour.

80
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You can't leave.
I have to leave in half an hour.

81
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- I have a plane to catch.
- I gotta get back to the diner.

82
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- Who's gonna stay with her?
- Am I four?

83
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I can watch her if you need to go,

84
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but you need to be back
in less than 45 minutes to relieve me.

85
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I have been successfully eating by myself
for five or six years now.

86
00:04:46,037 --> 00:04:47,622
Gypsy's over there. She can watch me.

87
00:04:47,705 --> 00:04:48,956
- Oh, yeah.
- That'll work.

88
00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:51,418
- Oh, hey, guys. How's it going?
- It's a disaster.

89
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- Some of our cuisines didn't show up.
- You got a good turnout.

90
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We advertised
an international food festival,

91
00:04:56,631 --> 00:05:00,051
all 195 countries represented.

92
00:05:00,135 --> 00:05:03,471
And a paltry 15 showed up.
Kirk, what happened?

93
00:05:03,555 --> 00:05:05,932
Well, Guam had a last-minute
parent-teacher conference,

94
00:05:06,015 --> 00:05:07,392
Kazakhstan had car trouble...

95
00:05:07,475 --> 00:05:10,478
I told Kazakhstan to get a ride
with Poland if that happened.

96
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Oh, does no one listen?

97
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[Kirk] Bangladesh's kid has an earache,
Chad has acid reflux,

98
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Brazil's niece has a soccer game,

99
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Turks and Caicos got foot fungus,
and Singapore is just being a dick.

100
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Other than that,
127 countries never got back to me.

101
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People are going to have to expand
on the cuisines they're offering.

102
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Grab your flags.
I'm calling an audible.

103
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Israel, grab some yams and crayfish.
You're also Papua New Guinea.

104
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Italy, add Slovenia, Tibet,
and the islands of Kiribati.

105
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Let's hustle, people.

106
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- I'm gonna hang out in Korea.
- I'm gonna get a cup of Kofi Annan.

107
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- That's a little international humor.
- Very little. See ya.

108
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- Ooh, this looks good. What's this?
- That's the compost heap.

109
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- Oh.
- [Petal oinking]

110
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I'm really hungry.

111
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- How's things in the Koreas?
- Oh, and Guam and Bulgaria? Great.

112
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Move, move, move.

113
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Stop. Line up.

114
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- Oh, hello, Rory.
- Hello, Mrs. Kim.

115
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Uh, this is Mama's new choir.

116
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Fresh off the boat.
I'm getting them ready for the circuit.

117
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Now, sing. [blows mouth organ]

118
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[singing softly in Korean]

119
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- They sound good, Mama.
- Please, they suck eggs.

120
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- Language, Mama!
- No, I mean all they do is eat.

121
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Eggs, bread, fruit.
The toilet paper they go through.

122
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I don't want to know what they do with it.

123
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- Sing out, Louise Pang!
- [cell phone vibrating]

124
00:06:29,015 --> 00:06:30,600
Um... Hello?

125
00:06:30,683 --> 00:06:33,436
Rory? Sandee Martin from <i>SandeeSays</i>.
You get the basket?

126
00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:34,812
I did. Hi, Sandee.

127
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<i>Those muffins? The raspberry?
Don't you want to make love to them?</i>

128
00:06:38,149 --> 00:06:39,317
Multiple times, yes.

129
00:06:39,401 --> 00:06:41,193
When am I getting you to join my team?

130
00:06:41,278 --> 00:06:43,154
That's so flattering.
I don't think...

131
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No! This thing we've got here,
it doesn't end till I hear a yes.

132
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I'm just kinda busy now.

133
00:06:47,992 --> 00:06:50,453
<i>Of course you're busy.
You're Rory Gilmore.</i>

134
00:06:50,537 --> 00:06:53,039
<i>But I've got plans to overtake</i>
Huffington Post <i>in a year,</i>

135
00:06:53,122 --> 00:06:55,291
and I need your voice
at <i>SandeeSays</i> to do that.

136
00:06:55,375 --> 00:06:58,127
Sandee, thank you.
The site is really great.

137
00:06:58,211 --> 00:07:00,296
I just don't think
I can devote the time right now.

138
00:07:00,380 --> 00:07:02,840
<i>- I'm on my way to London...</i>
- We'll pause. Talk to you soon.

139
00:07:02,924 --> 00:07:04,551
- Bye.
- [choir continues singing]

140
00:07:05,843 --> 00:07:09,013
Small plates, high prices.
That's just the way I roll, pal.

141
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:12,099
Gypsy, whip up a quick poutine.
You're taking over Canada.

142
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,561
Whip up a what?

143
00:07:14,644 --> 00:07:18,440
So we have $27 bid
on Cassie's beautiful basket.

144
00:07:18,523 --> 00:07:20,817
Do I hear a $28?

145
00:07:20,900 --> 00:07:22,277
- Hey, let's bid.
- Why?

146
00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:24,987
Basket bidding was part
of our early romance.

147
00:07:25,071 --> 00:07:27,239
Why would I want Cassie's basket?

148
00:07:27,324 --> 00:07:28,533
- Dirty.
- Dirty. I know.

149
00:07:28,616 --> 00:07:30,660
- $28!
- She doesn't want you eating her basket.

150
00:07:30,743 --> 00:07:32,036
I'm gonna stop talking now.

151
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:35,665
We have a bid of $28.
Do I hear $29?

152
00:07:35,748 --> 00:07:37,959
- $29!
- You're bidding against yourself.

153
00:07:38,042 --> 00:07:40,378
It's for a good cause.
$30!

154
00:07:40,462 --> 00:07:42,505
[singing softly in Korean]

155
00:07:47,051 --> 00:07:48,886
Okay. The tambourine is scaring them.

156
00:07:48,970 --> 00:07:51,639
They'll get used to it.
Just like electricity at night.

157
00:07:52,807 --> 00:07:55,768
- Your mother is a woman of vision.
- Always.

158
00:07:55,852 --> 00:07:59,230
- Oh, hey, my dad's here.
- Oh, hi, Mr. Kim.

159
00:08:01,608 --> 00:08:03,526
- Jackson.
- Hey, Lorelai.

160
00:08:03,610 --> 00:08:04,986
- [Lorelai] Hey.
- [both chuckle]

161
00:08:05,069 --> 00:08:07,071
- No Sookie?
- Oh, she wanted to come,

162
00:08:07,155 --> 00:08:09,741
but something started sprouting
from the steps to the backyard.

163
00:08:09,824 --> 00:08:12,452
She wanted to see if it was edible.
I'm not kidding.

164
00:08:12,535 --> 00:08:15,997
[panting] Jackson,
you're the Virgin Islands and Qatar.

165
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,458
Burundi, I need to talk to you!

166
00:08:19,376 --> 00:08:22,337
- Do I want to know what that was about?
- I'd stay out of it.

167
00:08:22,420 --> 00:08:24,964
Okay. It's probably best.

168
00:08:25,047 --> 00:08:27,925
- What's the big deal?
- What's the big deal?

169
00:08:28,009 --> 00:08:31,346
- Do you not have eyes?
- Kirk, calm down. What is the problem?

170
00:08:31,429 --> 00:08:34,766
- This man is the problem.
- It's a classic Vietnamese dish.

171
00:08:34,849 --> 00:08:38,645
- It's pig genocide and nothing less.
- It's delicious.

172
00:08:38,728 --> 00:08:41,272
- Do you wanna take this inside?
- What does that mean?

173
00:08:41,356 --> 00:08:43,816
We're outside, sir,
so we can only take this inside.

174
00:08:43,900 --> 00:08:45,192
Calm down, Kirk.
Come on, man.

175
00:08:45,276 --> 00:08:47,779
It... it's not Phan's fault.
A pig is food.

176
00:08:47,862 --> 00:08:48,863
<i>Et tu,</i> Luke?

177
00:08:48,946 --> 00:08:51,574
But I saw you inhale a BLT
at the diner yesterday.

178
00:08:51,658 --> 00:08:54,702
- Yeah.
- A BLT is lettuce, tomato, and...

179
00:08:56,746 --> 00:08:58,706
- I'm a monster.
- Sorry, Kirk.

180
00:08:58,790 --> 00:09:00,583
[Kirk] Oh, God.
Oh, God.

181
00:09:00,667 --> 00:09:01,709
[Luke] Mmm.

182
00:09:01,793 --> 00:09:03,210
Mmm.

183
00:09:03,294 --> 00:09:04,504
[chuckles]

184
00:09:05,422 --> 00:09:08,425
I know I'm not the one
you wanted eating your basket, Cassie,

185
00:09:08,508 --> 00:09:09,884
but this is really good.

186
00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:21,896
Red and rashy.
All over my chin, all down my neck.

187
00:09:21,979 --> 00:09:24,315
You can't see it 'cause of the makeup.
It's this weather.

188
00:09:24,399 --> 00:09:25,442
Oh, one more, love.

189
00:09:25,525 --> 00:09:27,068
- Are you good?
- This is just water.

190
00:09:27,151 --> 00:09:30,447
It's like winter is Hitler
and my skin is Poland.

191
00:09:30,530 --> 00:09:33,783
Come April, my face is
like one of Shakespeare's first folios.

192
00:09:33,866 --> 00:09:37,244
- You don't have these problems, do you?
- I'm lucky.

193
00:09:37,328 --> 00:09:41,207
Oh, your cheeks are like two white apples.

194
00:09:41,916 --> 00:09:43,334
Look at her cheeks.

195
00:09:43,418 --> 00:09:46,963
Tell me you don't want to take
a bite out of those cheeks.

196
00:09:47,046 --> 00:09:49,507
- I do. [chuckles]
- Okay. So, uh, Naomi. [chuckles]

197
00:09:49,591 --> 00:09:51,050
- Yes.
- I was thinking

198
00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:53,344
maybe we could talk
about the theme of the book.

199
00:09:53,428 --> 00:09:56,556
That would be me.
I mean, I'm the theme, right?

200
00:09:56,639 --> 00:09:59,141
For sure.
But there are many ways to approach you.

201
00:09:59,225 --> 00:10:02,269
[sighs] I'm not approachable.
Oh, it's my mother's fault.

202
00:10:02,353 --> 00:10:04,564
I hate my mother. Oh!

203
00:10:05,064 --> 00:10:06,441
[gasps] Don't write that.

204
00:10:06,524 --> 00:10:08,818
- Don't write that.
- But I'm a writer.

205
00:10:08,901 --> 00:10:11,488
Sweetie, you want facts.
Facts are what you want.

206
00:10:11,571 --> 00:10:12,947
Well, facts are dull.

207
00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:15,617
- Oh, thank you.
- Well, not so much in a biography.

208
00:10:15,700 --> 00:10:19,328
Oh. Well, let's not do that.
A biography.

209
00:10:19,411 --> 00:10:21,413
Let's do something fresh.

210
00:10:21,498 --> 00:10:23,124
Like, uh...

211
00:10:23,207 --> 00:10:25,793
- Let's make it a children's book.
- A children's book?

212
00:10:25,877 --> 00:10:27,587
It could deal in archetypes.

213
00:10:27,670 --> 00:10:30,507
A whale and a rabbit.
One of them can represent me.

214
00:10:30,590 --> 00:10:32,174
Are you the whale or the rabbit?

215
00:10:32,258 --> 00:10:35,302
Mmm. I don't know.
Thoughts?

216
00:10:35,386 --> 00:10:40,475
Here's one. Uh, why don't we just focus
on your story for now,

217
00:10:40,558 --> 00:10:43,019
and we'll talk about
the whale and the rabbit later?

218
00:10:43,102 --> 00:10:46,648
Darling Boswell,
I do so want to be in sync with you.

219
00:10:46,731 --> 00:10:50,735
Oh. No, we are in sync. I swear.
I... I really believe that.

220
00:10:50,818 --> 00:10:53,696
Aren't these glasses gorgeous?

221
00:10:53,780 --> 00:10:56,908
They won't tell me where they
get them from. They're proprietary.

222
00:10:56,991 --> 00:11:00,202
God, I hate England.
I'm voting for Brexit.

223
00:11:00,286 --> 00:11:01,954
It's just a protest vote.
It'll never win.

224
00:11:02,038 --> 00:11:04,206
- A whale and a rabbit.
- It's not funny.

225
00:11:04,290 --> 00:11:06,959
- It's pretty funny.
- And she kept coming back to it,

226
00:11:07,043 --> 00:11:09,837
comparing the archetypes to characters
in a play by Aeschylus.

227
00:11:09,921 --> 00:11:13,465
You haven't lived until you've heard
a tipsy Brit pronounce Aeschylus.

228
00:11:13,550 --> 00:11:15,342
Aeschylus is hard
even when you're not tipsy.

229
00:11:15,426 --> 00:11:17,386
It was like her lips were falling off.

230
00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:21,432
Try convincing her that Willy Loman
is not one of the characters in Aeschylus.

231
00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:24,769
- Oh, well, I'm learning so much here.
- She had five martinis. Five.

232
00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:27,772
She got there before I did.
I don't know what she had before.

233
00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:29,607
I've read about this woman.
It all aligns.

234
00:11:29,691 --> 00:11:33,027
I did, too. Her decades
of breaking barriers and empowering women.

235
00:11:33,110 --> 00:11:35,321
Her drunken, naked tirade
through glassware at Harrods.

236
00:11:35,404 --> 00:11:39,200
Halfway through her third martini,
she asked to lick my juicy apple cheeks.

237
00:11:39,283 --> 00:11:41,035
Ooh, do I want to know what that means?

238
00:11:41,118 --> 00:11:43,329
- My brain is fried.
- Let's talk about something else.

239
00:11:43,412 --> 00:11:46,540
Oh, Condé Nast. Just got the message.
Pushed again.

240
00:11:47,458 --> 00:11:49,919
- You're kidding.
- I know I'm not their highest priority,

241
00:11:50,002 --> 00:11:53,631
but Condé Nast asked for this meeting.
Months ago. This came from them.

242
00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:57,093
Condé Nast?
Procrastinators supreme. May I?

243
00:11:57,176 --> 00:11:58,469
[Logan] Help yourself.

244
00:12:00,054 --> 00:12:02,139
How you doing, Rory?
Long time, no see.

245
00:12:02,223 --> 00:12:04,100
[stutters] It's been a very long time.

246
00:12:04,183 --> 00:12:05,977
I didn't know you two were still in touch.

247
00:12:06,060 --> 00:12:09,105
Rory was passing through town on a job,
and I begged her to have lunch.

248
00:12:09,188 --> 00:12:10,773
Hmm. Nothing better to do?

249
00:12:10,857 --> 00:12:12,942
[chuckles] He did beg.

250
00:12:13,025 --> 00:12:15,111
What about Condé Nast?
Are they dicking you around?

251
00:12:15,194 --> 00:12:18,030
No. Just... lots of postponements.

252
00:12:18,114 --> 00:12:20,992
- You want me to make a call?
- To Condé Nast?

253
00:12:21,075 --> 00:12:23,119
I can set a meeting, make it stick.
It's no problem.

254
00:12:23,870 --> 00:12:26,122
No, that's okay.
Thank you, Mr. Huntzberger.

255
00:12:26,205 --> 00:12:27,498
What brings you into town?

256
00:12:27,582 --> 00:12:31,460
She's working on a book proposal.
Co-writing with Naomi Shropshire.

257
00:12:31,544 --> 00:12:35,464
[chuckling] Naomi Shropshire?
Have some hangover medicine ready.

258
00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:37,216
- [Mitchum laughs]
- She's a character.

259
00:12:37,299 --> 00:12:39,886
- But that's what makes her unique.
- Ah, I gotta go.

260
00:12:39,969 --> 00:12:42,221
Um, hey, the party next week
for your uncle...

261
00:12:42,304 --> 00:12:44,724
- Is Odette coming?
- She will be there.

262
00:12:44,807 --> 00:12:47,685
Gets engaged to a girl who lives
in another country. Smart girl.

263
00:12:47,769 --> 00:12:50,146
- [chuckles]
- And Condé Nast? The offer stands.

264
00:12:50,229 --> 00:12:51,522
You're very nice. Thank you.

265
00:12:52,106 --> 00:12:54,442
I believe that's the first time
anyone's said that to me.

266
00:12:54,525 --> 00:12:55,902
I mean, someone...

267
00:12:55,985 --> 00:12:57,862
not sticking a shiv in my back.

268
00:12:57,945 --> 00:12:59,656
[chuckles] See ya.

269
00:12:59,739 --> 00:13:00,990
[Logan sighs]

270
00:13:03,242 --> 00:13:05,036
- How did this happen?
- It's okay.

271
00:13:05,119 --> 00:13:07,330
- He's seen us.
- As far as he knows, we're just friends.

272
00:13:07,413 --> 00:13:09,665
Of all the millions of restaurants,
he walks in here?

273
00:13:11,083 --> 00:13:12,168
What?

274
00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:15,963
- Eh, this is one of the family holdings.
- 'Course it is.

275
00:13:16,047 --> 00:13:18,633
Why do you think I sprung
for the $300 bottle of wine?

276
00:13:19,884 --> 00:13:20,885
[sighs]

277
00:13:22,094 --> 00:13:24,055
[laughing]

278
00:13:29,143 --> 00:13:32,396
All the town fire hydrants
will remain red in color

279
00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:35,274
until the county rules
on our request to customize them

280
00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:39,236
based on each corner's
individual aesthetic.

281
00:13:39,945 --> 00:13:42,782
Now, as some of you will recall,
two months ago I announced

282
00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:46,828
that we will be holding the first annual
Stars Hollow Gay Pride Parade.

283
00:13:46,911 --> 00:13:49,580
2016 was the perfect year to hold it

284
00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:52,333
because it coincided
with an important date.

285
00:13:52,416 --> 00:13:55,544
The 70th birthday
of one Miss Liza Minnelli.

286
00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:57,504
[chuckling] That's Liza with a "Z."

287
00:13:57,588 --> 00:14:00,383
- We know how to spell, Taylor.
- He's always been condescending.

288
00:14:00,466 --> 00:14:03,594
But I have to inform you
that after exhaustive research

289
00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:06,305
and an informal census,
we made a surprising discovery.

290
00:14:06,388 --> 00:14:08,640
There just aren't enough gays
in Stars Hollow.

291
00:14:08,725 --> 00:14:10,935
- How is that possible?
- We have such cute houses.

292
00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:12,186
[Andrew] And antique shops.

293
00:14:12,269 --> 00:14:16,440
We asked for volunteers to come forward.
So far the list is miniscule.

294
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:17,691
We have Donald...

295
00:14:17,775 --> 00:14:19,610
- Hi, everybody.
- Donald's a pro.

296
00:14:19,694 --> 00:14:22,154
who will be marching
with his chow chow, Sherlock.

297
00:14:22,238 --> 00:14:24,531
- Sherlock's gay?
- No, he's just my dog.

298
00:14:24,615 --> 00:14:26,743
Adele and Lois have signed up.

299
00:14:26,826 --> 00:14:28,494
- Adele and Lois are a couple?
- Shh.

300
00:14:28,577 --> 00:14:30,663
[Taylor] Astonishingly, that's it.

301
00:14:31,163 --> 00:14:33,958
I have contacted some of the mayors
of neighboring towns,

302
00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:36,878
to see if they would lend us
some of their gays,

303
00:14:36,961 --> 00:14:40,214
but, uh, so far not a one has cooperated.

304
00:14:40,297 --> 00:14:41,841
- Ingrates.
- Is this really happening?

305
00:14:41,924 --> 00:14:45,594
We lent them our riding mowers one year.
Why can't they lend us their gays?

306
00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:47,013
Tell that to Hank from Woodbury.

307
00:14:47,096 --> 00:14:49,515
Donald, ask your cute friend Cliff
to march with you.

308
00:14:49,598 --> 00:14:51,683
- Cliff would do it.
- Cliff is straight.

309
00:14:51,768 --> 00:14:52,894
Get outta here.

310
00:14:52,977 --> 00:14:54,228
- Donald's gay?
- Shh.

311
00:14:54,311 --> 00:14:58,024
- But I'm confused.
- So we're just stuck, people. Stuck.

312
00:14:58,107 --> 00:15:00,276
- Taylor, question.
- Yes, Gypsy?

313
00:15:00,359 --> 00:15:02,737
Are you sure there isn't anybody
you're leaving out?

314
00:15:02,820 --> 00:15:05,572
Anyone else who could march in this thing?

315
00:15:05,656 --> 00:15:07,116
Anyone at all?

316
00:15:12,038 --> 00:15:14,081
- Nope.
- Well, there you go.

317
00:15:14,165 --> 00:15:16,417
So, with apologies to Miss Liza Minnelli,

318
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:20,212
we'll table the parade for now
and see what we come up with next year.

319
00:15:20,296 --> 00:15:21,463
Sorry, Donald.

320
00:15:21,547 --> 00:15:23,841
Oh, Cliff and I are going kayaking
that day anyway.

321
00:15:23,925 --> 00:15:25,760
Now, on to our last order of business...

322
00:15:25,843 --> 00:15:27,887
Uh, Lorelai,
maybe you can pay attention here.

323
00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:30,597
- This concerns you.
- You've got my full attention.

324
00:15:30,681 --> 00:15:34,518
I believe that bag of profiteroles has
at least part of your attention.

325
00:15:34,602 --> 00:15:37,229
Well, develop a creamy filling,
and I'm all yours.

326
00:15:37,313 --> 00:15:39,231
[sighs] Now, as many of you know,

327
00:15:39,315 --> 00:15:43,444
a big Hollywood movie is being filmed
in our neighboring town of Woodbury.

328
00:15:43,527 --> 00:15:47,865
I lobbied to have the movie shot here
in Stars Hollow, but Woodbury won out.

329
00:15:47,949 --> 00:15:49,533
- Good.
- No, bad.

330
00:15:49,617 --> 00:15:53,370
Because all the big-name stars
of the movie are staying in Woodbury,

331
00:15:53,871 --> 00:15:56,791
but my little birds are telling me
that a bunch of B-level actors

332
00:15:56,874 --> 00:15:58,250
are staying at the Dragonfly.

333
00:15:58,334 --> 00:16:00,336
- [mumbles]
- What?

334
00:16:02,088 --> 00:16:03,672
Yeah, so?

335
00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:07,927
We can't have Stars Hollow known
as a place that welcomes B-level actors.

336
00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:10,387
Who's staying at the Dragonfly, Taylor?

337
00:16:10,471 --> 00:16:13,390
- Guys, this is private information.
- Xander Sackovich.

338
00:16:13,474 --> 00:16:14,683
- He's there.
- [Bootsy] Who?

339
00:16:14,766 --> 00:16:16,853
- Exactly.
- How did you get my guest list?

340
00:16:16,936 --> 00:16:19,188
- Dexter Schmid.
- Now you're making that up.

341
00:16:19,271 --> 00:16:21,941
- He's on the list.
- Who are your little birds?

342
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:24,568
"Lydia Papadokolis,
Tara Grabowski."

343
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:27,529
What does it matter
who's staying at Lorelai's place?

344
00:16:27,613 --> 00:16:29,824
And how is that any of your business?

345
00:16:29,907 --> 00:16:34,161
If you must know,
our tax base is receding. Alarmingly.

346
00:16:34,245 --> 00:16:37,999
And it's the tax base
that pays for gazebo upkeep,

347
00:16:38,082 --> 00:16:39,750
street sweeping, twinkle lights.

348
00:16:39,834 --> 00:16:43,045
If we want to remain
a world-class tourist destination,

349
00:16:43,129 --> 00:16:45,006
we cannot lower our standards.

350
00:16:45,089 --> 00:16:47,508
These are paying guests.
Who cares what they've done?

351
00:16:47,591 --> 00:16:50,344
I brought up a couple
of their credits on my phone.

352
00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:52,513
Sackovich did <i>Law And Order.</i>

353
00:16:52,596 --> 00:16:53,805
That's not very impressive.

354
00:16:53,890 --> 00:16:55,933
Yeah, who hasn't done the mother lode?

355
00:16:56,017 --> 00:17:01,188
Tara Grabowski did an independent movie
and a two-episode arc on <i>Blue Bloods.</i>

356
00:17:01,272 --> 00:17:02,273
Bit of a stretch.

357
00:17:02,356 --> 00:17:05,401
You can't call two episodes an arc.
That's misleading.

358
00:17:05,484 --> 00:17:08,737
And are these washouts
spending money around town?

359
00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:11,365
Adding to the tax base?
I'm not seeing that.

360
00:17:11,448 --> 00:17:15,452
- They're probably studying their lines.
- And having sex. They have a lot of sex.

361
00:17:15,536 --> 00:17:17,204
[Taylor] My little birds are telling me

362
00:17:17,288 --> 00:17:21,167
that the A-listers are throwing money
around Woodbury like there's no tomorrow.

363
00:17:21,250 --> 00:17:25,087
Matthew McConaughey buys
three newspapers a day.

364
00:17:25,171 --> 00:17:26,672
I like that about him.

365
00:17:26,755 --> 00:17:30,342
Jessica Chastain bought a full bag
of assorted toiletries

366
00:17:30,426 --> 00:17:32,887
and two sun dresses.
Money in the bank.

367
00:17:32,970 --> 00:17:36,473
Taylor, you want a surefire way
to bring in cash, open a bar.

368
00:17:36,557 --> 00:17:37,724
And keep it open late.

369
00:17:37,808 --> 00:17:39,518
- It'd be a windfall.
- [indistinct chatter]

370
00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:41,478
We'll open a bar over my dead body.

371
00:17:41,562 --> 00:17:44,231
Well then, why don't you
just start taxing the Secret Bar?

372
00:17:44,315 --> 00:17:45,816
[all shushing]

373
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:48,569
- The what?
- Nothing.

374
00:17:48,652 --> 00:17:52,448
All right. It's getting late, people.
Let's adjourn.

375
00:17:52,531 --> 00:17:54,825
[indistinct chatter]

376
00:17:54,909 --> 00:17:58,871
Lorelai, at least find out
if any of your B-listers are gay

377
00:17:58,954 --> 00:18:00,956
and if they're willing
to march in a parade?

378
00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:02,374
No, Taylor.

379
00:18:02,458 --> 00:18:04,376
[sighs] I'm an island.

380
00:18:07,713 --> 00:18:10,216
- Where have you been?
- At a meeting with the accountant.

381
00:18:10,299 --> 00:18:12,884
Oh, that's great.
I'm sprinting around like a madman,

382
00:18:12,969 --> 00:18:16,347
keeping this tiny place running,
and you're off whooping it up.

383
00:18:16,430 --> 00:18:18,098
Whooping it up?
I barely kept my eyes open.

384
00:18:18,182 --> 00:18:19,934
Hold on. These are heavy.

385
00:18:20,017 --> 00:18:21,643
[grunts softly]

386
00:18:21,727 --> 00:18:23,062
[chuckling] Excuse me.

387
00:18:23,145 --> 00:18:26,607
I know you're disappointed
that we have no exercise equipment,

388
00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:30,236
so I ran home and I brought you
some of my own personal dumbbells.

389
00:18:30,819 --> 00:18:33,322
They're pretty small.
I'm used to working with big dumbbells.

390
00:18:33,405 --> 00:18:36,075
Yes. So am I.

391
00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:39,870
- Excuse me. Lorelai!
- Ah. What?

392
00:18:39,954 --> 00:18:42,123
Have you looked these people up?
They are B-level.

393
00:18:42,206 --> 00:18:44,875
- No. Not this again.
- And the one with the skateboard?

394
00:18:44,959 --> 00:18:47,211
He doesn't ride it.
He just carries it around.

395
00:18:47,294 --> 00:18:48,420
I'm not listening to you.

396
00:18:48,504 --> 00:18:50,255
The girls all stand at the mirror,

397
00:18:50,339 --> 00:18:52,132
looking at themselves
like they're God's gift,

398
00:18:52,216 --> 00:18:55,094
making it impossible for me to stand
at the mirror and look at myself.

399
00:18:55,177 --> 00:18:56,387
- Enough.
- And the boys

400
00:18:56,470 --> 00:18:58,639
stare at their phones
with their mouths open.

401
00:18:58,722 --> 00:19:00,182
They never close them. [grunts]

402
00:19:00,266 --> 00:19:02,684
They all have stupid
ventriloquist dummy mouths!

403
00:19:02,768 --> 00:19:04,020
And what is the mother lode?

404
00:19:04,103 --> 00:19:06,188
They keep telling stories
about the mother lode.

405
00:19:06,271 --> 00:19:09,775
Hey, what is the matter with you?
You've been spitting nails all week.

406
00:19:09,858 --> 00:19:13,320
Are you aware that the A-listers
in this movie are all staying in Woodbury?

407
00:19:13,404 --> 00:19:15,990
- Painfully.
- At the Cheshire Cat. The Cheshire Cat.

408
00:19:16,073 --> 00:19:18,367
With their watery orange juice,
scratchy towels

409
00:19:18,450 --> 00:19:19,994
and really stinky croissants.

410
00:19:20,077 --> 00:19:23,747
- Yes, we're better than the Cheshire Cat.
- We are better, but they have suites.

411
00:19:23,831 --> 00:19:26,834
Big, comfy suites
with soaking tubs and mini-fridges.

412
00:19:26,917 --> 00:19:28,919
- We hate mini-fridges.
- Of course we do.

413
00:19:29,003 --> 00:19:32,214
But Jack Black wants a mini-fridge.
Cate Blanchett wants a mini-fridge.

414
00:19:32,298 --> 00:19:34,925
It's Dexter Schmid and Lydia Papadokolis

415
00:19:35,009 --> 00:19:38,721
who compromise their standards and stay
in our tiny rooms without mini-fridges.

416
00:19:38,804 --> 00:19:40,389
Our rooms are beautiful.

417
00:19:40,472 --> 00:19:43,350
But no Nespresso machines.

418
00:19:43,434 --> 00:19:45,686
Daniel Radcliffe likes his ristretto
in the morning

419
00:19:45,769 --> 00:19:47,729
and his half-decaffeinato in the evening,

420
00:19:47,813 --> 00:19:50,732
while he reads the papers
he borrowed from Matthew McConaughey.

421
00:19:50,816 --> 00:19:51,858
How do you know all this?

422
00:19:51,942 --> 00:19:54,653
- We don't have a spa or a gym.
- We don't have the space.

423
00:19:54,736 --> 00:19:56,947
These people care about their pecs
and their glutes.

424
00:19:57,031 --> 00:19:59,700
They work them out. Then they want them
oiled, rubbed and scraped.

425
00:19:59,783 --> 00:20:02,411
Then they like to sit in their suites
and soak in their tub

426
00:20:02,494 --> 00:20:04,705
and have juice
that they kept cold in their mini-fridge.

427
00:20:04,788 --> 00:20:06,582
We've peaked!
Let's face it, we've peaked.

428
00:20:06,665 --> 00:20:08,875
- Michel...
- It's all downhill from here.

429
00:20:08,959 --> 00:20:10,294
Our destinies are set,

430
00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:13,047
and Jennifer Lawrence
is never, ever going to stay here.

431
00:20:13,130 --> 00:20:16,800
And what's the point of living if we are
never going to bag Jennifer Lawrence?

432
00:20:19,178 --> 00:20:21,638
Liz... Liz, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Slow down.

433
00:20:21,722 --> 00:20:23,682
This is a lot to digest.

434
00:20:23,766 --> 00:20:25,726
Say that again? Uh-huh.

435
00:20:25,809 --> 00:20:26,935
- You ready?
- Hit me.

436
00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:28,604
- My sister's joined a cult.
- Which one?

437
00:20:28,687 --> 00:20:30,356
I'm trying to figure that out.
Liz?

438
00:20:30,439 --> 00:20:32,691
Oh, hi, T.J.
Yeah, what is the cult?

439
00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:33,942
Uh-huh, I see.

440
00:20:34,025 --> 00:20:36,862
No, no, no, it makes perfect sense.
It's a vegetable cult.

441
00:20:36,945 --> 00:20:39,115
- Ah. One of those.
- They joined it by accident.

442
00:20:39,198 --> 00:20:40,908
How do you accidentally join a cult?

443
00:20:40,991 --> 00:20:42,743
- It's Liz and T.J.
- Grab some wine.

444
00:20:42,826 --> 00:20:44,745
Yeah, all right.
Talk to my brother-in-law.

445
00:20:44,828 --> 00:20:47,164
Hi, T.J.
Oh, hi, Liz. It's Lorelai.

446
00:20:47,248 --> 00:20:49,458
How do you accidentally join a cult?

447
00:20:49,541 --> 00:20:51,752
Uh-huh. I see.

448
00:20:51,835 --> 00:20:53,629
Oh, that makes perfect sense.

449
00:20:53,712 --> 00:20:56,298
They signed up for a co-op
that has great vegetables,

450
00:20:56,382 --> 00:20:57,799
filled out the paperwork, signed it,

451
00:20:57,883 --> 00:21:00,386
and it turned out to be a cult
that grows vegetables.

452
00:21:00,469 --> 00:21:02,596
- They can't get out of it?
- You can't get out of it?

453
00:21:02,971 --> 00:21:04,681
Got it.
Not for six million years.

454
00:21:04,765 --> 00:21:06,517
At least there's a cut-off date.
Here.

455
00:21:07,393 --> 00:21:10,354
Liz? Oh, hi, T.J.
Listen, can I call you back?

456
00:21:10,437 --> 00:21:13,107
I don't know, sometime before
the six million years is up?

457
00:21:13,190 --> 00:21:14,024
Will that work?

458
00:21:14,108 --> 00:21:15,275
Great. Bye.

459
00:21:15,984 --> 00:21:17,819
Those vegetables better be
fresh and crunchy.

460
00:21:17,903 --> 00:21:20,281
- I don't want to talk about it.
- Then let's not...

461
00:21:20,364 --> 00:21:21,907
Here, sit. Sit.

462
00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:26,203
Got chicken scaloppini for you,
linguine with meatballs for me...

463
00:21:26,287 --> 00:21:28,955
and a hanger steak for Paul Anka.

464
00:21:29,873 --> 00:21:33,210
- Hey, how was work?
- Crazy. By which I mean, Michel is crazy.

465
00:21:33,294 --> 00:21:35,796
- Ah, what else is new?
- [sighs] He's been on edge lately.

466
00:21:35,879 --> 00:21:38,006
- He says we've peaked.
- How have you peaked?

467
00:21:38,090 --> 00:21:40,008
The place has been booked solid
since you opened.

468
00:21:40,092 --> 00:21:41,677
But it's so small. Just ten rooms

469
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:44,012
and no suites, no mini-fridge
and no room to grow.

470
00:21:44,095 --> 00:21:45,597
- You don't need to grow.
- Tell him.

471
00:21:45,681 --> 00:21:48,517
Why does everything need to grow?
If something's good, keep it the same.

472
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:51,562
- Yeah, but I kinda get what he's saying...
- No, you don't need more.

473
00:21:52,396 --> 00:21:53,230
Okay.

474
00:21:54,022 --> 00:21:56,317
Listen...
I don't mean to be so firm about this,

475
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,569
but don't let a guy like Michel get
in your head, okay?

476
00:21:58,652 --> 00:22:01,071
He's been complaining for 20 years.
Let him complain.

477
00:22:01,155 --> 00:22:02,781
- I know.
- You want me to talk to him?

478
00:22:02,865 --> 00:22:05,200
The last time you talked to him,
he spent an hour crying.

479
00:22:05,284 --> 00:22:07,828
- Well, something good came out of it.
- [Lorelai chuckles]

480
00:22:14,293 --> 00:22:16,127
[Paul Anka whimpering]

481
00:22:18,172 --> 00:22:19,173
[grunts]

482
00:22:20,090 --> 00:22:22,759
- Hey, check on Paul Anka.
- I'm on it.

483
00:22:28,557 --> 00:22:30,476
[Paul Anka barking]

484
00:22:30,559 --> 00:22:31,768
[sighs]

485
00:22:33,729 --> 00:22:35,105
Gotta go out, poochy?

486
00:22:35,981 --> 00:22:36,815
Clearly.

487
00:22:37,733 --> 00:22:39,067
You all set, bud?

488
00:22:40,027 --> 00:22:42,404
All set. Squirrel!

489
00:22:43,197 --> 00:22:45,073
- You hungry, bud?
- When am I not?

490
00:22:45,574 --> 00:22:47,951
- [Paul Anka barks]
- [gasping]

491
00:22:49,786 --> 00:22:51,330
Then I fell back to sleep

492
00:22:51,413 --> 00:22:55,000
and the real Paul Anka serenaded me
with a medley of lullabies.

493
00:22:55,083 --> 00:22:57,168
- That's very sweet of him.
<i>- I know.</i>

494
00:22:57,252 --> 00:22:59,630
I feel weirdly bonded
with the real Paul Anka over this.

495
00:22:59,713 --> 00:23:02,299
It's my third dream about him this year.
What does that mean?

496
00:23:02,382 --> 00:23:04,343
Good thing
we didn't name him Mickey Rourke.

497
00:23:04,426 --> 00:23:06,428
Hey, have you ever heard of Dexter Schmid?

498
00:23:06,512 --> 00:23:08,221
- Is that a band?
<i>- No, an actor.</i>

499
00:23:08,305 --> 00:23:09,306
Don't think so.

500
00:23:09,390 --> 00:23:11,182
- Tawny Shaverkian?
- Nope.

501
00:23:11,267 --> 00:23:13,143
- Lynix Hatlestad?
- Who are these people?

502
00:23:13,227 --> 00:23:14,603
<i>Actors staying at the inn.</i>

503
00:23:14,686 --> 00:23:15,979
- Kind of B-level.
- That's mean.

504
00:23:16,063 --> 00:23:18,941
That's what everyone's calling them.
They bought out the whole inn.

505
00:23:19,024 --> 00:23:20,276
- That's good.
<i>- Yeah.</i>

506
00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:22,611
But we should've bagged
Jennifer Lawrence, right?

507
00:23:22,694 --> 00:23:24,154
Why Jennifer Lawrence?

508
00:23:24,238 --> 00:23:26,198
'Cause that's who you try to bag.
She's the goods.

509
00:23:26,281 --> 00:23:28,408
"She's the goods"?
What is that, hotel lingo?

510
00:23:28,492 --> 00:23:31,703
- The ones who are here are B-level kids...
- Call them something else.

511
00:23:31,787 --> 00:23:34,290
These younger, less-credited thespians,

512
00:23:34,373 --> 00:23:37,042
they all use their original names.
No one changes them anymore.

513
00:23:37,125 --> 00:23:38,585
<i>- What's with that?</i>
- They like them.

514
00:23:38,669 --> 00:23:40,296
Tawny Shaverkian likes her name?

515
00:23:40,379 --> 00:23:42,088
- It's not bad.
<i>- My generation,</i>

516
00:23:42,172 --> 00:23:44,716
we got Natalie Portman,
not Natalie Hershlag.

517
00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:46,051
Someone's been on Google...

518
00:23:46,551 --> 00:23:49,012
We got Joaquin Phoenix,
not Joaquin Bottom.

519
00:23:49,095 --> 00:23:51,056
- Oh, you're making that up.
<i>- No.</i>

520
00:23:51,139 --> 00:23:53,934
Who wants to see Virginia McMath
dance with Frederick Austerlitz?

521
00:23:54,017 --> 00:23:55,602
<i>- Is that Ginger and Fred?</i>
- Yeah.

522
00:23:55,686 --> 00:23:57,604
You sound very worked up.
Are you okay?

523
00:23:57,688 --> 00:23:59,356
[sighs] Michel's leaving.

524
00:24:00,065 --> 00:24:02,401
- No, he's not.
- Well, he's getting restless.

525
00:24:02,484 --> 00:24:03,694
Well, that's just Michel.

526
00:24:03,777 --> 00:24:05,571
Play him some Skrillex.
That always calms him.

527
00:24:05,654 --> 00:24:08,281
The Dragonfly was a dream
Sookie and I had.

528
00:24:08,365 --> 00:24:09,741
It was a pals' place.

529
00:24:10,325 --> 00:24:13,120
<i>And then she left, which sucked,
but I still had Michel.</i>

530
00:24:13,620 --> 00:24:17,416
And Michel...
He's for me what Paris is for you.

531
00:24:17,499 --> 00:24:20,251
- Your angry friend.
- My angry friend.

532
00:24:20,336 --> 00:24:22,504
- He's not leaving.
- How much longer are you there?

533
00:24:22,587 --> 00:24:24,506
Not much longer. I'll see you soon.

534
00:24:24,590 --> 00:24:25,757
Didi's not sick of you yet?

535
00:24:26,550 --> 00:24:28,427
- Didi?
- British Didi?

536
00:24:29,261 --> 00:24:31,596
Oh, no. [chuckles] Um...

537
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:33,724
Not sick yet. I do the dishes.

538
00:24:33,807 --> 00:24:35,517
Oh, for Didi you do the dishes.

539
00:24:36,226 --> 00:24:39,020
- I have to go.
- Thanks for letting me bend your ear.

540
00:24:39,104 --> 00:24:41,398
- Michel's not leaving.
- Bye.

541
00:24:43,775 --> 00:24:46,695
Oh, you'd look good in a suit.
Yes, you would.

542
00:24:52,158 --> 00:24:53,577
[exhales heavily]

543
00:24:59,207 --> 00:25:01,543
Well, I just wanna say...

544
00:25:02,461 --> 00:25:05,005
- I'm sorr...
- Do not do that again.

545
00:25:07,924 --> 00:25:10,093
You ever think
about putting in a salad bar?

546
00:25:11,637 --> 00:25:12,846
[sighs]

547
00:25:13,889 --> 00:25:15,641
- [in sing-song] What a day!
- [laughing]

548
00:25:15,724 --> 00:25:18,226
- What a beautiful day!
- He did not sound like that!

549
00:25:18,309 --> 00:25:21,104
[in normal voice] Yes, we called him
Trombone Stan. He did!

550
00:25:21,187 --> 00:25:23,899
- I never called him that.
- [in sing-song] Hello, Lorelai.

551
00:25:23,982 --> 00:25:26,652
- How've your grades been?
- Stop.

552
00:25:26,735 --> 00:25:28,654
[in normal voice] Fine.
Pretty good, Stan.

553
00:25:28,737 --> 00:25:30,197
[in sing-song] Pretty good's enough

554
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:34,159
- for Trombone Stan.
- Really, stop! Stop! [laughing]

555
00:25:34,242 --> 00:25:35,869
[both laughing]

556
00:25:38,288 --> 00:25:41,207
So that's it?
Trombone Stan and you're out?

557
00:25:41,291 --> 00:25:43,794
Not unless you want some Timpani Tom.

558
00:25:43,877 --> 00:25:46,129
- Are you hearing this?
- Timpani Tom.

559
00:25:46,212 --> 00:25:48,882
And you have nothing else to say?
No outstanding issues?

560
00:25:48,965 --> 00:25:50,884
Nope. I'm all good. You?

561
00:25:52,177 --> 00:25:55,221
As a matter of fact,
I do have a few outstanding issues.

562
00:25:55,305 --> 00:25:57,223
Poked the bear.
Poked the bear.

563
00:25:57,307 --> 00:25:59,309
A girl gets pregnant at 16

564
00:25:59,392 --> 00:26:02,479
and takes off without leaving
so much as a forwarding address.

565
00:26:02,563 --> 00:26:04,773
- Oh, my God. Hornet's nest.
- Excuse me?

566
00:26:04,856 --> 00:26:08,693
Mom, are we really gonna go back
over this ancient history again?

567
00:26:08,777 --> 00:26:11,530
- We've moved so far past this.
- Well, clearly I haven't.

568
00:26:11,613 --> 00:26:14,908
But that was eons ago,
and we've had so much contact since then,

569
00:26:14,991 --> 00:26:18,369
and you got Rory back in your life.
Why? Why are we doing this?

570
00:26:18,454 --> 00:26:21,081
You asked if I had issues,
and I have issues.

571
00:26:21,164 --> 00:26:23,459
Really, a salad bar, a Color Me Mine.

572
00:26:24,042 --> 00:26:26,670
Here's another one.
After years of absence,

573
00:26:26,753 --> 00:26:29,840
she deigns to come back into our lives
when she needs money.

574
00:26:29,923 --> 00:26:32,718
For Rory. It was for my daughter.
And it was a loan.

575
00:26:32,801 --> 00:26:34,470
Ancient history.
Issue resolved.

576
00:26:34,553 --> 00:26:37,388
She's hidden just about every relationship
she's ever had from me.

577
00:26:37,473 --> 00:26:39,349
Yes. Yes, that has been my habit.

578
00:26:39,432 --> 00:26:41,142
She's smarted off
in front of other family

579
00:26:41,226 --> 00:26:43,520
and in front of friends
too many times to count.

580
00:26:43,604 --> 00:26:45,606
It takes her days to return phone calls.

581
00:26:45,689 --> 00:26:47,607
I give her presents
and never see her using them.

582
00:26:47,691 --> 00:26:48,859
I have specific tastes.

583
00:26:48,942 --> 00:26:52,529
The maid once saw me napping,
and Lorelai told her I was bourboned up.

584
00:26:52,613 --> 00:26:54,656
[chuckling] It was a joke.
It was a joke.

585
00:26:54,740 --> 00:26:58,785
And never will I forgive her for that
heinous letter she sent on my birthday.

586
00:26:58,869 --> 00:27:00,871
Whoa. What? What letter?

587
00:27:00,954 --> 00:27:04,332
With the accusations, the profanity,
the abuse. The letter.

588
00:27:04,415 --> 00:27:05,751
Uh, that wasn't me.

589
00:27:05,834 --> 00:27:08,753
- Of course it was. Who else would it be?
- That definitely wasn't me.

590
00:27:08,837 --> 00:27:11,172
I'm not Edith Wharton.
I don't write letters.

591
00:27:11,256 --> 00:27:12,883
Well, that's absurd. I recall it clearly.

592
00:27:12,966 --> 00:27:15,218
[Lorelai] You're not,
'cause it never happened.

593
00:27:15,302 --> 00:27:18,346
It was on my bed. I remember the envelope
and the color of the ink.

594
00:27:18,430 --> 00:27:21,433
No. Unh-unh.
Look, I will cop to the other stuff, okay?

595
00:27:21,517 --> 00:27:24,394
Embarrassing you in front of guests,
hiding my relationships...

596
00:27:24,478 --> 00:27:27,355
But I won't admit to writing
some terrible letter on your birthday,

597
00:27:27,438 --> 00:27:29,232
because it never happened.
It never happened.

598
00:27:29,316 --> 00:27:32,152
- Well, I'm saying it did.
- Ladies, I'm afraid we have to stop.

599
00:27:32,235 --> 00:27:35,113
- Mom, I did not write that letter.
- And I say you did.

600
00:27:35,196 --> 00:27:36,406
Somebody's waiting. I'm sorry.

601
00:27:36,489 --> 00:27:38,784
She's been holding onto this for years,
and it's not true.

602
00:27:38,867 --> 00:27:40,994
It's not true.
Mom, it's not true.

603
00:27:41,077 --> 00:27:43,371
- We'll talk about this next week.
- No, I...

604
00:27:43,454 --> 00:27:45,791
You can't leave this room
thinking that I did that.

605
00:27:45,874 --> 00:27:47,668
- I won't let you.
- Give me my purse.

606
00:27:47,751 --> 00:27:50,086
- We're extending our time.
- I'm afraid that's impossible.

607
00:27:50,170 --> 00:27:52,213
Fine! We'll...
we'll settle this next week!

608
00:27:52,297 --> 00:27:54,591
- Ridiculous!
- Lorelai, my purse!

609
00:27:54,675 --> 00:27:56,635
- Lorelai, I need my keys.
- [door closes]

610
00:27:56,718 --> 00:27:59,638
Naomi, you're saying
so many things at once. Slow down.

611
00:27:59,721 --> 00:28:02,182
[Naomi] <i>I'm British, Rory.</i>
<i>We speak fast. Catch up.</i>

612
00:28:02,265 --> 00:28:03,892
Winston Churchill didn't speak fast.

613
00:28:03,975 --> 00:28:07,979
Why are you talking about that fat poof
when my whole life is falling apart?

614
00:28:08,063 --> 00:28:11,650
You used to like my historical references.
She called Winston Churchill a fat poof.

615
00:28:11,733 --> 00:28:13,527
What did he do
other than save the world?

616
00:28:13,610 --> 00:28:14,653
Who are you talking to?

617
00:28:14,736 --> 00:28:17,030
- No one.
<i>- Were you listening before?</i>

618
00:28:17,113 --> 00:28:19,825
George is not returning my calls.

619
00:28:19,908 --> 00:28:23,245
<i>- He's not following my tweets.</i>
- I thought your boyfriend was Colin.

620
00:28:23,328 --> 00:28:25,121
Oh, for the love of God.
That was weeks ago.

621
00:28:25,205 --> 00:28:27,373
You Americans really don't listen.

622
00:28:27,457 --> 00:28:30,418
- No, I listen...
<i>- I am on a ledge here.</i>

623
00:28:30,502 --> 00:28:32,879
- Uh, wait, are you literally on a ledge?
- [mouths] What?

624
00:28:32,963 --> 00:28:36,716
You see, I don't think
you have the humor to do this book.

625
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:38,301
You don't get nuance.

626
00:28:38,385 --> 00:28:39,803
No, I get nuance.

627
00:28:39,886 --> 00:28:43,098
And you flat out dismissed
my whale and mouse story.

628
00:28:43,181 --> 00:28:44,182
No, I didn't.

629
00:28:44,265 --> 00:28:46,351
- And it was a rabbit, not a mouse.
<i>- No.</i>

630
00:28:46,434 --> 00:28:47,561
It was a mouse.

631
00:28:47,644 --> 00:28:48,812
- A rabbit.
<i>- A mouse.</i>

632
00:28:48,895 --> 00:28:49,980
It was a rabbit.

633
00:28:50,063 --> 00:28:51,690
It's the gentile <i>Fiddler On The Roof.</i>

634
00:28:51,773 --> 00:28:54,818
Okay. You're right. It was a mouse.
And you're the mouse.

635
00:28:54,901 --> 00:28:57,237
<i>No. No, darling. No.</i>

636
00:28:57,320 --> 00:29:00,657
I'm the whale.
Why in God's name would I be a mouse?

637
00:29:00,741 --> 00:29:04,410
- I must be mistaken.
- I can't possibly sit with you today.

638
00:29:04,494 --> 00:29:05,912
Okay, can we talk tomorrow?

639
00:29:05,996 --> 00:29:10,000
[sighs] You say that
as if there is a tomorrow.

640
00:29:11,710 --> 00:29:14,004
The suspense is killing me.
Is she the mouse or the whale?

641
00:29:14,087 --> 00:29:15,088
It doesn't matter.

642
00:29:15,171 --> 00:29:17,882
Next time she'll be a mongoose,
a pangolin or a fruit.

643
00:29:17,966 --> 00:29:19,467
It'll be my fault for not remembering.

644
00:29:19,550 --> 00:29:20,844
- [chuckles]
- What did you think?

645
00:29:20,927 --> 00:29:22,220
<i>SandeeSays</i>?

646
00:29:22,303 --> 00:29:24,931
Layout's pretty good.
Design catches your eye.

647
00:29:25,015 --> 00:29:26,767
And attacks it with pretty, pretty colors.

648
00:29:26,850 --> 00:29:28,644
It's an interesting mix of sweet and sour.

649
00:29:28,727 --> 00:29:31,396
Gets a little catty and gossipy.
But not that I don't like gossip.

650
00:29:31,479 --> 00:29:34,775
How many steps down is it
from the <i>New Yorker,</i> or <i>GQ,</i>

651
00:29:34,858 --> 00:29:36,985
or <i>Huffington</i> or <i>Bazooka Comics?</i>

652
00:29:37,068 --> 00:29:38,862
A few below the first three.

653
00:29:38,945 --> 00:29:40,822
But I love that they want you.

654
00:29:40,906 --> 00:29:43,491
Could mean they're looking
to class the joint up a bit.

655
00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:47,537
- I gotta get going.
- Mmm, but you're my pillow.

656
00:29:47,621 --> 00:29:49,205
[grunts] Sorry.

657
00:29:51,582 --> 00:29:54,002
- What time is your flight tomorrow?
- Threeish.

658
00:29:54,085 --> 00:29:55,420
But, hey, I was thinking,

659
00:29:55,503 --> 00:29:57,631
I don't have to head back
to the States so soon.

660
00:29:58,548 --> 00:30:00,425
- Yeah?
- Yeah, there's nothing pressing.

661
00:30:00,508 --> 00:30:04,179
- I could hang a couple more days.
- [sighs heavily]

662
00:30:04,262 --> 00:30:05,513
Are you leaving town?

663
00:30:08,516 --> 00:30:11,352
- Someone's coming to town?
- Kind of.

664
00:30:12,062 --> 00:30:13,938
- Odette.
- Kind of.

665
00:30:15,065 --> 00:30:17,734
Right, so I guess I'll go.

666
00:30:18,484 --> 00:30:19,610
Ivy tonight?

667
00:30:20,403 --> 00:30:22,697
- Our traditional farewell meal.
- I'll send the car at 8:00.

668
00:30:22,781 --> 00:30:24,115
Eight is great.

669
00:30:28,787 --> 00:30:31,539
- What is this movie?
- [chuckles] It's a weird one.

670
00:30:31,622 --> 00:30:33,834
Kind of scary.
You'll have to hold me.

671
00:30:33,917 --> 00:30:35,335
Oh, I can live with that.

672
00:30:40,465 --> 00:30:41,800
Hi, guys.

673
00:30:41,883 --> 00:30:42,884
- Hi, Lulu.
- Hey, Lulu.

674
00:30:42,968 --> 00:30:44,886
So do you guys want
the love couch tonight?

675
00:30:44,970 --> 00:30:48,098
The love couch?
Definitely. [chuckles]

676
00:30:48,181 --> 00:30:51,601
Kirk and I have had
some crazy good times on this thing.

677
00:30:51,685 --> 00:30:53,519
- [grunts] Too late.
- Oops.

678
00:30:53,603 --> 00:30:54,855
[Lulu] Have fun.

679
00:30:57,232 --> 00:30:59,067
Welcome, everyone, to the spring season

680
00:30:59,150 --> 00:31:01,277
of the Black, White and Read
Movie Theater.

681
00:31:01,361 --> 00:31:05,448
I am pleased to present
tonight's feature film, <i>Eraserhead.</i>

682
00:31:07,033 --> 00:31:08,493
Now before we start,

683
00:31:08,576 --> 00:31:11,121
the management of the theater is aware
that some of you

684
00:31:11,204 --> 00:31:12,872
have snuck food into the theater.

685
00:31:12,956 --> 00:31:16,000
You should know that consuming food
purchased outside of the premises

686
00:31:16,084 --> 00:31:17,878
- is strictly prohibited.
- [Lorelai] Got it.

687
00:31:17,961 --> 00:31:19,420
[indistinct chatter]

688
00:31:22,882 --> 00:31:25,802
- Would it be possible to be more discreet?
- [Babette] No problem.

689
00:31:25,886 --> 00:31:28,889
We got some extra link sausages
if anybody wants some.

690
00:31:28,972 --> 00:31:31,766
Babette, did you hear what I said
about food purchased outside?

691
00:31:31,850 --> 00:31:33,894
I didn't purchase this.
I brought it from home.

692
00:31:33,977 --> 00:31:36,396
- Yeah, chill out, man.
- [man] Hey. Hey, Kirk.

693
00:31:36,479 --> 00:31:37,898
[Kirk] What is it, Pete?
Talk to me.

694
00:31:37,981 --> 00:31:40,608
[Brian] I've seen <i>Eraserhead,</i>
like, 27 times.

695
00:31:40,691 --> 00:31:43,569
- Twenty-two times for us.
- It was our make-out movie.

696
00:31:43,653 --> 00:31:45,739
- Luke, how many times have you seen it?
- Oh, hundreds.

697
00:31:45,822 --> 00:31:48,074
It makes your head
leave your body, doesn't it?

698
00:31:48,158 --> 00:31:51,161
Yeah, my head and I
take off and float around and...

699
00:31:51,244 --> 00:31:53,454
look at the stars,
and take a left on Peach Street...

700
00:31:53,538 --> 00:31:54,664
- Get me out of this.
- Fries?

701
00:31:54,748 --> 00:31:55,790
- [Brian] Mmm.
- [Zach] Yeah.

702
00:31:55,874 --> 00:31:58,794
Okay. Now people,
I have a surprise for you.

703
00:31:58,877 --> 00:32:02,756
Twelve years ago, I completed
my first short film, <i>I Love Your Daughter.</i>

704
00:32:02,839 --> 00:32:05,884
It premiered at
the Lake Chappapaqua Film Festival,

705
00:32:05,967 --> 00:32:10,388
where it won the coveted Good Try award.

706
00:32:10,471 --> 00:32:13,599
Tonight, after years of labor,

707
00:32:13,683 --> 00:32:18,396
I am happy to announce
that my second short is finally complete.

708
00:32:19,314 --> 00:32:20,315
Roll it.

709
00:32:20,899 --> 00:32:22,859
[projector whirring]

710
00:32:33,912 --> 00:32:36,581
<i>Gorgeous day, don't you think?</i>

711
00:32:36,664 --> 00:32:38,583
[oinking]

712
00:32:38,666 --> 00:32:40,251
[chuckles]

713
00:32:40,335 --> 00:32:42,003
<i>This pig is for reals.</i>

714
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:46,883
- Hey. That's my car.
- That's our house.

715
00:32:46,967 --> 00:32:47,968
Hey, that's me!

716
00:32:48,551 --> 00:32:50,761
[Luke] How did you not notice this?

717
00:32:50,846 --> 00:32:52,973
[sinister music playing]

718
00:32:57,227 --> 00:33:00,271
[woman whispering] <i>Kirk.</i>

719
00:33:00,939 --> 00:33:02,315
It's an omen.

720
00:33:02,398 --> 00:33:03,859
[pig squealing]

721
00:33:03,942 --> 00:33:05,944
- Petal, no!
- [tires screeching]

722
00:33:06,027 --> 00:33:07,653
[crashing]

723
00:33:07,737 --> 00:33:08,864
[Lane] Poor Petal!

724
00:33:17,705 --> 00:33:20,416
Petal. Come on, old buddy.

725
00:33:20,500 --> 00:33:22,293
[Petal groaning]

726
00:33:24,170 --> 00:33:26,047
Why won't anybody help me?

727
00:33:27,090 --> 00:33:29,509
Is the world so cold?

728
00:33:29,592 --> 00:33:30,760
[cell phone ringing]

729
00:33:30,844 --> 00:33:32,595
Geez. Come on, people.

730
00:33:32,678 --> 00:33:34,055
[all] Not mine.

731
00:33:34,139 --> 00:33:35,974
- Not mine.
- Uh, Luke?

732
00:33:36,057 --> 00:33:37,100
- What?
- [ringing continues]

733
00:33:37,183 --> 00:33:40,270
Oh, shoot.
Why is this ringing?

734
00:33:40,353 --> 00:33:42,313
- Someone's calling.
- Nobody calls me at night.

735
00:33:42,397 --> 00:33:45,525
[Babette] Come on, Luke,
turn off your cell. It's distracting.

736
00:33:45,608 --> 00:33:47,693
- That enough, baby?
- That ought to do it.

737
00:33:47,777 --> 00:33:50,238
- Who do we know in the 8-6-0?
- My mother.

738
00:33:50,321 --> 00:33:51,781
- [gasps] My mother!
- Your mother?

739
00:33:51,865 --> 00:33:53,574
- That's my mother.
- Why is she calling me?

740
00:33:53,658 --> 00:33:55,285
- I don't know.
- She never calls me.

741
00:33:55,368 --> 00:33:56,828
- Don't pick up.
- I'm not picking up.

742
00:33:56,912 --> 00:33:59,664
Why is this ringing so much?

743
00:33:59,747 --> 00:34:02,375
Because that's the same phone
Alexander Graham Bell yelled,

744
00:34:02,458 --> 00:34:04,210
"Watson, come here. I want you," into.

745
00:34:08,131 --> 00:34:09,674
[woman screams]

746
00:34:14,762 --> 00:34:16,890
- She left a message.
- [groans]

747
00:34:16,973 --> 00:34:18,474
- Here.
- [sighs]

748
00:34:23,521 --> 00:34:25,398
- What? No.
- What? What?

749
00:34:25,481 --> 00:34:27,108
- That's not happening.
- What?

750
00:34:27,192 --> 00:34:29,444
She wants you to come over
for dinner next week.

751
00:34:29,527 --> 00:34:30,820
- Me?
- Yes.

752
00:34:30,904 --> 00:34:32,155
- Just me?
- Just you.

753
00:34:32,238 --> 00:34:33,573
That's not happening.

754
00:34:34,657 --> 00:34:37,243
She has an urgent matter
she needs to discuss with you.

755
00:34:37,327 --> 00:34:38,912
- What is it?
- I don't know.

756
00:34:38,995 --> 00:34:41,247
- How did she get my number?
- I don't know.

757
00:34:41,331 --> 00:34:42,958
- Why?
- Why?

758
00:34:43,041 --> 00:34:46,127
- [yelling] Why?
- [Petal oinking]

759
00:34:47,837 --> 00:34:49,714
We should probably paint that out.

760
00:34:49,797 --> 00:34:51,757
- I guess I gotta go, right?
- You're not going.

761
00:34:51,841 --> 00:34:54,552
[chuckles] It's your mother.
She'll hound me until I do.

762
00:34:54,635 --> 00:34:56,221
- If you're going, I'm going.
- Yeah...

763
00:34:56,304 --> 00:35:00,183
- Okay, how about you go and I don't go?
- Well, frankly, she asked for you.

764
00:35:00,266 --> 00:35:02,226
Let's never go into battle together.

765
00:35:08,608 --> 00:35:11,069
I know exactly how that pig feels.

766
00:35:17,617 --> 00:35:19,535
[indistinct chatter]

767
00:35:19,619 --> 00:35:22,497
[sighs] Hey, was Michel in today?
Did I miss him?

768
00:35:22,580 --> 00:35:25,625
It said on the schedule he's on vacation.
New York, I think.

769
00:35:25,708 --> 00:35:27,877
Right. A lot of hotels in New York.

770
00:35:27,961 --> 00:35:30,130
- Hmm.
- Thank you. [sighs]

771
00:35:37,512 --> 00:35:38,554
Hey, Rachael.

772
00:35:38,638 --> 00:35:41,016
- Lorelai, hey!
- How's it going?

773
00:35:41,099 --> 00:35:43,934
Oh, it's great.
I love this kitchen.

774
00:35:44,019 --> 00:35:46,729
- Mmm.
- Sookie set it up so great.

775
00:35:46,812 --> 00:35:48,439
Yeah, she's a pip. [sighs]

776
00:35:48,523 --> 00:35:52,527
You know, I got soup and sammies
for days in here.

777
00:35:52,610 --> 00:35:53,694
[Lorelai chuckles]

778
00:35:53,778 --> 00:35:56,697
- Try one. They're delish.
- Well, if they're delish...

779
00:35:57,615 --> 00:35:58,658
You seem sad.

780
00:35:58,741 --> 00:36:01,119
- Oh, he's gonna leave.
- Who?

781
00:36:01,202 --> 00:36:02,620
Michel.
Have you met him yet?

782
00:36:02,703 --> 00:36:05,956
Oh yeah.
I couldn't understand a word he said.

783
00:36:06,041 --> 00:36:09,002
- That's him.
- So, he's gonna leave. Why?

784
00:36:09,085 --> 00:36:12,005
Because it's not enough.
I get it. I've known him a long time.

785
00:36:12,088 --> 00:36:13,923
- Mmm.
- I was a maid first at this other inn,

786
00:36:14,007 --> 00:36:15,300
and I got promoted.

787
00:36:15,383 --> 00:36:17,802
On my first day,
he was the only one who would tell me

788
00:36:17,885 --> 00:36:20,430
I had a weird stain
on my Thompson Twins T-shirt and,

789
00:36:20,513 --> 00:36:22,515
by the way, I shouldn't be
wearing a T-shirt

790
00:36:22,598 --> 00:36:24,017
now that I'm working the front desk.

791
00:36:24,100 --> 00:36:27,228
- And you understood all that?
- He always had my back.

792
00:36:27,312 --> 00:36:30,690
Maybe you're reading this wrong.
Maybe he doesn't want to leave,

793
00:36:30,773 --> 00:36:32,650
and you're making yourself crazy
for nothing.

794
00:36:32,733 --> 00:36:34,402
[chuckles] That would be nice.

795
00:36:34,485 --> 00:36:37,530
Life has a way of just sort of
working itself out.

796
00:36:37,613 --> 00:36:41,367
Yeah, you're right.
[chuckles] I should just chill.

797
00:36:41,451 --> 00:36:42,785
- Yeah.
- Thank you.

798
00:36:42,869 --> 00:36:45,621
You're welcome. Anything else?

799
00:36:45,705 --> 00:36:47,832
- Yeah, I have to let you go.
- What?

800
00:36:47,915 --> 00:36:50,418
The pop-up's not working out.
No one's eating anything.

801
00:36:50,501 --> 00:36:52,211
But they're not eating anything
out there

802
00:36:52,295 --> 00:36:55,465
because they have to take
their clothes off for that movie tomorrow.

803
00:36:55,548 --> 00:36:57,050
Sorry.

804
00:36:57,133 --> 00:36:58,343
[sighs]

805
00:36:58,426 --> 00:37:02,263
Okay, uh, I guess
I'll just clean up a little and I'll go.

806
00:37:02,847 --> 00:37:03,973
Take your time.

807
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:07,852
Mmm, really good sammie.

808
00:37:09,770 --> 00:37:13,649
Okay. This is the spot
to breathe deeply.

809
00:37:13,733 --> 00:37:15,901
- You may not get another chance.
- [breathing deeply]

810
00:37:15,985 --> 00:37:17,320
- [grunts] Oh, God.
- What?

811
00:37:17,403 --> 00:37:18,654
- What?
- I swallowed a bug.

812
00:37:18,738 --> 00:37:20,906
- Oh. Well...
- It's lodged in there.

813
00:37:20,990 --> 00:37:24,619
- Oh no. Well, okay. Let's do this.
- Okay. Let's do it.

814
00:37:24,702 --> 00:37:25,786
- Okay.
- [clears throat]

815
00:37:26,787 --> 00:37:28,289
Berta! Hi!
We've met. [chuckles]

816
00:37:28,373 --> 00:37:29,457
<i>- Hola,</i> hello.
- Hello.

817
00:37:29,540 --> 00:37:30,833
What are you doing here?

818
00:37:31,501 --> 00:37:34,295
- We're here for dinner.
- But you weren't invited.

819
00:37:34,379 --> 00:37:37,298
Mom, you left a message about dinner.
So here we are.

820
00:37:37,382 --> 00:37:39,384
You weren't invited.
Hello, Luke.

821
00:37:39,467 --> 00:37:40,676
Hello, Mrs. Gilmore.

822
00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:42,303
You weren't invited.

823
00:37:42,387 --> 00:37:44,722
Really, Mom,
work on your hosting skills a little.

824
00:37:44,805 --> 00:37:46,641
[sighs] Well, you're here now.

825
00:37:46,724 --> 00:37:48,976
See? A warm welcome
makes all the difference.

826
00:37:49,059 --> 00:37:51,437
Come in, I guess.
I wasn't expecting both of you.

827
00:37:51,521 --> 00:37:53,231
- I sent three e-mails.
- I didn't get them.

828
00:37:53,314 --> 00:37:56,151
- Well, I sent them.
- I don't understand e-mail.

829
00:37:56,234 --> 00:37:57,318
What's this?

830
00:37:57,402 --> 00:37:59,404
Berta's second cousins
are fixing my curtains.

831
00:37:59,487 --> 00:38:01,572
So much talent.
Luke, you want a drink?

832
00:38:01,656 --> 00:38:03,741
[hoarsely] Yes, please.

833
00:38:03,825 --> 00:38:06,410
- What's wrong with your throat?
- [coughs] I swallowed a bug.

834
00:38:06,911 --> 00:38:08,413
[Emily] Why would you do that?

835
00:38:08,496 --> 00:38:10,248
How about scotch?
Feels like a scotch night.

836
00:38:10,331 --> 00:38:11,249
Coming up.

837
00:38:11,332 --> 00:38:13,668
- [doorbell rings]
- Oh, now who's that?

838
00:38:15,836 --> 00:38:18,381
- I'm not gonna make it.
- [gasps] Luke, come on.

839
00:38:18,464 --> 00:38:22,427
Remember your last name. Danes.
The Anglo-Saxon word for warrior.

840
00:38:22,510 --> 00:38:24,887
It means that you're a fighter.
You're a conqueror!

841
00:38:24,970 --> 00:38:27,432
No, it doesn't.
"Danes" means, like, valley, or something.

842
00:38:27,515 --> 00:38:29,475
It's a farmer's name.
My ancestors raised sheep.

843
00:38:29,559 --> 00:38:32,353
Well, they defended those sheep
with all they had.

844
00:38:32,437 --> 00:38:35,440
Hail to the Danes,
brave soldiers of the sheep!

845
00:38:36,357 --> 00:38:38,234
- [gasps] Hey, kid!
- Hi, guys.

846
00:38:38,318 --> 00:38:40,528
- She wasn't invited.
- Ah, this again?

847
00:38:40,611 --> 00:38:42,988
Grandma, you forgot.
You said I could stay the night.

848
00:38:43,072 --> 00:38:46,701
- I'm heading to Chilton in the morning.
- [gasps] Your Chilton alumni event.

849
00:38:46,784 --> 00:38:48,869
Of course. I forgot.
You can stay.

850
00:38:48,953 --> 00:38:50,288
Jury's still out on me?

851
00:38:50,371 --> 00:38:52,122
You said it. I didn't.

852
00:38:53,207 --> 00:38:54,625
Hi, Grandpa.

853
00:38:55,042 --> 00:38:57,336
Grandma, are my boxes still
in the guest room?

854
00:38:57,420 --> 00:39:00,381
- Some. I gave a bunch of them to Berta.
- What?

855
00:39:00,464 --> 00:39:02,633
I thought you said
you don't wear that stuff anymore.

856
00:39:02,717 --> 00:39:05,303
Grandma, my lucky outfit could be
in one of those boxes.

857
00:39:05,386 --> 00:39:07,430
Well, don't worry.
She keeps everything.

858
00:39:07,513 --> 00:39:09,348
Just go through her closet.
She won't mind.

859
00:39:09,432 --> 00:39:10,725
[Luke and Lorelai] Thank you.

860
00:39:11,851 --> 00:39:14,144
- Bring yours into the study.
- Okay.

861
00:39:15,062 --> 00:39:16,439
Just me and Luke.

862
00:39:17,690 --> 00:39:19,525
Protect those sheep.
Defend those sheep!

863
00:39:24,739 --> 00:39:25,865
Sit.

864
00:39:26,574 --> 00:39:28,033
[Luke exhales heavily]

865
00:39:28,117 --> 00:39:31,621
- You ever been in here?
- Once. It's, uh, woody.

866
00:39:31,704 --> 00:39:34,874
You can still smell Richard's cigars.
I like that smell.

867
00:39:34,957 --> 00:39:36,125
It's a good smell.

868
00:39:37,084 --> 00:39:38,294
Do you have a will?

869
00:39:38,378 --> 00:39:40,630
- A will?
- A will. You need a will.

870
00:39:40,713 --> 00:39:43,424
If you go first
and your affairs aren't in order,

871
00:39:43,507 --> 00:39:46,260
it all comes crashing down
on my daughter's head. Do you want that?

872
00:39:46,344 --> 00:39:47,887
- No.
- Do you know when you will die?

873
00:39:47,970 --> 00:39:49,013
Not offhand.

874
00:39:49,096 --> 00:39:52,933
Richard had an actuarial life table
for all the family members, including you.

875
00:39:53,017 --> 00:39:55,185
A prediction of everybody's day of death.

876
00:39:55,270 --> 00:39:57,438
It's remarkably accurate.

877
00:39:57,522 --> 00:40:00,190
He included some close friends, too.

878
00:40:00,275 --> 00:40:03,944
He nailed Stuart Carrington's death
within an hour.

879
00:40:04,028 --> 00:40:05,405
He was so proud of that.

880
00:40:05,488 --> 00:40:07,114
That's a great accomplishment.

881
00:40:07,197 --> 00:40:09,450
- This is your file.
- I've got a file?

882
00:40:09,534 --> 00:40:11,702
- You got some time left.
- Well, good.

883
00:40:11,786 --> 00:40:14,914
You're to use this information
for your life insurance needs.

884
00:40:14,997 --> 00:40:17,833
Again, you can't leave
my daughter high and dry.

885
00:40:17,917 --> 00:40:20,210
I'll photocopy it for you,
and you can go from there.

886
00:40:20,295 --> 00:40:23,589
- I'll... mark the date in my calendar.
- Good.

887
00:40:24,299 --> 00:40:25,841
Now, next piece of business.

888
00:40:27,092 --> 00:40:29,387
Richard left you a sum
of money in his will.

889
00:40:31,305 --> 00:40:33,391
- You didn't know that.
- No.

890
00:40:33,474 --> 00:40:34,684
The money's in a trust account,

891
00:40:34,767 --> 00:40:37,937
to be used for a specific purpose
and for that purpose only.

892
00:40:38,020 --> 00:40:39,021
Which is?

893
00:40:39,104 --> 00:40:41,857
To expand and franchise Luke's Diner.

894
00:40:41,941 --> 00:40:43,150
What?

895
00:40:43,233 --> 00:40:46,028
He even refers to it
as the Luke's Diner Empire.

896
00:40:46,111 --> 00:40:47,738
So that's it.

897
00:40:47,822 --> 00:40:49,490
You're to use the money
to build an empire.

898
00:40:49,574 --> 00:40:50,658
Uh...

899
00:40:50,741 --> 00:40:54,245
I've already contacted the best commercial
real estate agent in Connecticut.

900
00:40:54,329 --> 00:40:56,831
Ida Friedman. She's a real shark.

901
00:40:56,914 --> 00:40:58,499
She eats real estate lawyers for lunch.

902
00:40:59,709 --> 00:41:02,962
- You look stunned.
- Well, this is a lot to take in.

903
00:41:03,045 --> 00:41:05,214
Luke, when are you going to get moving?

904
00:41:05,298 --> 00:41:07,342
When are you going to embrace your future?

905
00:41:08,008 --> 00:41:09,009
Tonight?

906
00:41:09,844 --> 00:41:10,845
Good answer.

907
00:41:11,471 --> 00:41:14,014
- Need a refresh?
- Mom, where's Luke?

908
00:41:14,098 --> 00:41:16,476
- He was right behind me.
- I'm right here.

909
00:41:16,559 --> 00:41:18,644
I need to check on dinner,
set some extra plates.

910
00:41:18,728 --> 00:41:21,939
If you see Berta's sister Isabella,
ask her to fill the water glasses?

911
00:41:22,022 --> 00:41:23,566
[Luke sighs]

912
00:41:23,649 --> 00:41:25,109
- Well?
- I'm starting an empire.

913
00:41:25,192 --> 00:41:26,652
- What?
- That word was in there.

914
00:41:26,736 --> 00:41:29,238
- Bold letters, all caps. "Empire."
- What are you talking about?

915
00:41:29,322 --> 00:41:30,865
She wants me to franchise Luke's.

916
00:41:30,948 --> 00:41:33,451
Actually, your father
wants me to franchise Luke's.

917
00:41:33,534 --> 00:41:36,161
- What?
- Richard put money in a trust account.

918
00:41:36,245 --> 00:41:38,247
I'm supposed to call Ida
and franchise the diner.

919
00:41:38,331 --> 00:41:40,750
- I'm sweating through everything now.
- Not gonna happen.

920
00:41:40,833 --> 00:41:43,043
- I've got a shark.
- Give me that.

921
00:41:43,127 --> 00:41:45,671
- Not gonna happen. Trust me.
- [sighs]

922
00:41:45,755 --> 00:41:47,089
[Lorelai scoffs]

923
00:41:51,552 --> 00:41:53,554
[both sigh]

924
00:41:57,266 --> 00:41:59,018
[indistinct chatter]

925
00:42:04,774 --> 00:42:07,067
Say, I believe I recognize you
from my school days.

926
00:42:07,151 --> 00:42:09,695
And I you.
Good to see you, old chum.

927
00:42:11,489 --> 00:42:13,282
Ah, Chilton.

928
00:42:13,366 --> 00:42:17,119
"I cannot remember the books I've read
any more than the meals I have eaten;

929
00:42:17,202 --> 00:42:19,789
even so, they have made me."

930
00:42:27,212 --> 00:42:30,007
- Oh, my God. Were we ever this young?
- Never.

931
00:42:30,090 --> 00:42:33,803
Oh, hey, it's Mr. Sanders from AP Physics.
Hey, Mr. Sanders!

932
00:42:33,886 --> 00:42:35,179
Oh, no.

933
00:42:36,055 --> 00:42:37,723
What's up his ass?

934
00:42:37,807 --> 00:42:39,934
There they are.
Two of our finest.

935
00:42:40,017 --> 00:42:41,268
How are you, Rory?

936
00:42:41,351 --> 00:42:43,353
Very well.
Good to see you, Headmaster Charleston.

937
00:42:43,438 --> 00:42:47,232
Paris, you're looking well,
prosperous... happy?

938
00:42:47,316 --> 00:42:48,818
How old is that drinking fountain?

939
00:42:48,901 --> 00:42:51,904
[chuckles] I don't know.
Twenty years, maybe more.

940
00:42:51,987 --> 00:42:54,990
A drinking fountain
contains more rotavirus than a toilet.

941
00:42:55,074 --> 00:42:56,617
This is the first I've heard of it.

942
00:42:56,700 --> 00:42:59,286
Chipped in $100,000
to the capital improvement plan.

943
00:42:59,369 --> 00:43:00,996
Where are the capital improvements?

944
00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:04,459
Your money was well spent, Paris,
and appreciated.

945
00:43:04,542 --> 00:43:06,711
Come, come, we have some time.
Sit with me.

946
00:43:18,222 --> 00:43:20,683
I could have coffee made if you want.

947
00:43:20,766 --> 00:43:22,810
- Espresso? Cappuccino?
- I'm fine.

948
00:43:22,893 --> 00:43:24,061
[Paris] Nice machine, though.

949
00:43:24,144 --> 00:43:27,940
- Real nice. May I ask...
- I paid for it myself, Paris.

950
00:43:28,023 --> 00:43:29,942
That wasn't necessarily my question.

951
00:43:30,025 --> 00:43:31,986
- Can I use your john?
- Uh, of course.

952
00:43:36,198 --> 00:43:38,576
There is no one quite like Paris Geller.

953
00:43:38,659 --> 00:43:41,996
- Agreed.
- So let's talk about you.

954
00:43:42,079 --> 00:43:43,623
- Are you married?
- Not yet.

955
00:43:43,706 --> 00:43:45,290
- Good, be picky.
- [chuckles]

956
00:43:45,374 --> 00:43:47,960
- And where is home?
- Oh, here and there.

957
00:43:48,043 --> 00:43:49,587
- A wayfarer.
- [chuckles]

958
00:43:49,670 --> 00:43:51,589
I read your <i>New Yorker</i> piece.

959
00:43:51,672 --> 00:43:54,592
I just stumbled on it one day.
Such a nice surprise.

960
00:43:54,675 --> 00:43:56,218
I've gotten a lot of good feedback.

961
00:43:56,301 --> 00:43:59,889
I've read of lot of your work.
<i>Slate,</i> the <i>Atlantic.</i>

962
00:43:59,972 --> 00:44:01,766
I always enjoy it.

963
00:44:01,849 --> 00:44:04,644
- Are things going well in your career?
- Well enough.

964
00:44:04,727 --> 00:44:07,146
I'm sorry about your grandfather.

965
00:44:07,229 --> 00:44:09,231
He was a friend. I miss him.

966
00:44:09,314 --> 00:44:10,399
- [door opens]
- Me, too.

967
00:44:10,483 --> 00:44:13,277
- [cell phone vibrating]
- A lava stone counter.

968
00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:16,446
- French, right?
- It was there before me, Paris.

969
00:44:16,531 --> 00:44:18,783
- I believe you.
- Sorry, I have to take this.

970
00:44:18,866 --> 00:44:20,951
- Oh, please don't.
- I'll be right back.

971
00:44:23,203 --> 00:44:27,708
So, when was the last time someone
audited your books?

972
00:44:28,751 --> 00:44:30,002
- Hey, you.
- [Lorelai] <i>Hey.</i>

973
00:44:30,085 --> 00:44:32,838
I had a moment. I thought I'd check in.
How's my little alumnus doing?

974
00:44:32,922 --> 00:44:35,382
Great.
It's fun being back here, and weird.

975
00:44:35,465 --> 00:44:37,552
- The headmaster says hi.
- No, he doesn't.

976
00:44:37,635 --> 00:44:40,095
Aren't you supposed to be
in a therapy session with grandma?

977
00:44:40,179 --> 00:44:43,182
- Yeah, but we took a break.
- You're not supposed to take a break.

978
00:44:43,265 --> 00:44:44,684
The therapist wanted the break.

979
00:44:44,767 --> 00:44:48,437
- [door opens]
- Oh, gotta go. Bye, hon.

980
00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:51,732
You smoke?

981
00:44:51,816 --> 00:44:53,984
Uh, I just started again.

982
00:44:54,068 --> 00:44:55,110
Who was that? Luke?

983
00:44:55,194 --> 00:44:58,155
No, it was Rory.
She's doing her Chilton day.

984
00:44:58,697 --> 00:45:00,491
We were just talking about Luke.

985
00:45:00,575 --> 00:45:02,743
- You and Claudia?
- He's your guy, right?

986
00:45:02,827 --> 00:45:04,704
- Yeah, he's my guy.
- [chuckles]

987
00:45:04,787 --> 00:45:06,581
- What?
- I said nothing.

988
00:45:06,664 --> 00:45:08,457
- You said plenty.
- I didn't say anything.

989
00:45:08,540 --> 00:45:09,541
Did I say anything?

990
00:45:10,125 --> 00:45:13,295
Oh, but you want to, Mom.
Go ahead, get it out.

991
00:45:13,379 --> 00:45:16,131
It's in there, I know it is.
Pressure's building, steam is rising.

992
00:45:16,215 --> 00:45:19,426
- She's not married, you know.
- [gasps] There she blows, Old Faithful.

993
00:45:19,509 --> 00:45:21,220
Stop by the gift shop on your way out.

994
00:45:21,303 --> 00:45:23,931
- She has "a roommate."
- Hear the quotes? He's not my roommate.

995
00:45:24,014 --> 00:45:25,683
- You share a bedroom.
- Yes.

996
00:45:25,766 --> 00:45:28,936
Which makes you roommates with benefits.
Booty buddies.

997
00:45:29,019 --> 00:45:31,563
That's what we are, Mom.
Glad you're up on the lingo.

998
00:45:31,647 --> 00:45:33,607
Anything more permanent would terrify her.

999
00:45:33,691 --> 00:45:35,651
We are permanent. We're permanent.

1000
00:45:35,735 --> 00:45:38,445
Hanging out is not permanent.
Marriage is permanent.

1001
00:45:38,528 --> 00:45:39,905
"Marriage is permanent."

1002
00:45:39,989 --> 00:45:42,532
Uh, Liz Taylor just rose
from her grave to say, "What?"

1003
00:45:42,617 --> 00:45:45,035
Well, even Claudia
just called him "your guy,"

1004
00:45:45,119 --> 00:45:46,704
like it's a beach blanket movie.

1005
00:45:46,787 --> 00:45:48,998
We have been together,
steadily, for nine years.

1006
00:45:49,081 --> 00:45:51,166
Luke hardly ever comes by the house
for dinner.

1007
00:45:51,250 --> 00:45:53,293
I didn't have his number
until I got it from Rory.

1008
00:45:53,377 --> 00:45:55,545
You go through me to get to him.
The system works.

1009
00:45:55,629 --> 00:45:57,715
You've hardly even mentioned him
in these sessions.

1010
00:45:57,798 --> 00:46:00,467
We are here to work out problems.
Luke and I don't have a problem.

1011
00:46:00,550 --> 00:46:02,678
My late husband
was just as concerned about this.

1012
00:46:02,762 --> 00:46:05,765
- Interesting.
- Chalk it up to a serious lack of hobbies.

1013
00:46:05,848 --> 00:46:08,475
That's why he set up that trust for Luke
to expand his business,

1014
00:46:08,559 --> 00:46:10,144
to give her something more permanent.

1015
00:46:10,227 --> 00:46:12,980
- You don't know what Dad was thinking.
- Excuse me?

1016
00:46:13,063 --> 00:46:16,566
I was his wife for 50 years.
I knew his every thought.

1017
00:46:16,650 --> 00:46:18,652
We shared everything
because we were married.

1018
00:46:18,736 --> 00:46:20,988
That bond got us
through the tough times, too.

1019
00:46:21,071 --> 00:46:22,197
The separation.

1020
00:46:22,281 --> 00:46:26,285
Our marriage brought us back together
for some of our happiest years.

1021
00:46:26,368 --> 00:46:28,120
What will get you through
the tough times?

1022
00:46:28,203 --> 00:46:30,455
My Wonder Woman stamina
and a box of Twinkies.

1023
00:46:30,539 --> 00:46:32,792
You'll just find another roommate.
Why not?

1024
00:46:32,875 --> 00:46:34,251
Can I bum a smoke?

1025
00:46:34,335 --> 00:46:36,128
[Emily] One of you will shrug and think,

1026
00:46:36,211 --> 00:46:39,089
"What the hell, I'm outta here,"
pack a bag and walk off,

1027
00:46:39,173 --> 00:46:42,342
and the other'll stay behind
and just rent space to the next person,

1028
00:46:42,426 --> 00:46:43,844
- like it's an Airbnb.
- Okay.

1029
00:46:43,928 --> 00:46:46,972
I have not walked out
of any of these sessions,

1030
00:46:47,056 --> 00:46:50,600
because it's super dramatic, but I think
in this moment, it is justified,

1031
00:46:50,685 --> 00:46:52,436
'cause I don't wanna listen
to this anymore.

1032
00:46:52,519 --> 00:46:55,064
- Our time is up anyway.
- What? Oh, no way!

1033
00:46:55,147 --> 00:46:56,273
It is. The hour's up.

1034
00:46:56,356 --> 00:46:59,526
Okay, well, I am walking out of here

1035
00:46:59,609 --> 00:47:02,279
as if it is not over yet,
so the intent is the same.

1036
00:47:02,362 --> 00:47:04,614
- Fine.
- We're picking this up next week.

1037
00:47:04,699 --> 00:47:06,701
- Fine.
- Tuesday, 10:30. I insist.

1038
00:47:10,704 --> 00:47:14,083
[Paris] Well, he needs to sign
the sperm donation agreement today, okay?

1039
00:47:14,166 --> 00:47:17,044
Then I don't want his sperm.
No, I do not want his sperm.

1040
00:47:17,127 --> 00:47:21,256
I do not wanna touch or see his sperm
until I get a firm sperm agreement.

1041
00:47:21,340 --> 00:47:23,050
We got it. No sperm.
Wrap it up.

1042
00:47:23,133 --> 00:47:25,427
[Paris] Gotta go.
I'm offline for 30. I'll check in later.

1043
00:47:25,510 --> 00:47:27,512
- See you afterwards?
- See you afterwards.

1044
00:47:30,057 --> 00:47:32,351
We all have our proclivities, right?

1045
00:47:32,434 --> 00:47:35,855
The things we loved before Chilton,
the subjects we wanted to study.

1046
00:47:35,938 --> 00:47:39,524
I had them. Literature, history.
And I absorbed them.

1047
00:47:39,608 --> 00:47:43,904
But with time, I discovered
that it's the stealth subjects,

1048
00:47:43,988 --> 00:47:48,325
the ones I discovered while I was here,
that really expanded my mind the most.

1049
00:47:48,409 --> 00:47:51,036
I love music. So I thought,
"I'll take a music course.

1050
00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:53,538
Composition and theory.
How hard could it be?"

1051
00:47:53,622 --> 00:47:54,832
Well... [chuckles]

1052
00:47:54,915 --> 00:47:58,627
- [all chuckle]
- It was a struggle. Let's put it that way.

1053
00:47:58,710 --> 00:48:01,130
I had this notion that somehow

1054
00:48:01,213 --> 00:48:04,174
my extensive familiarity
with Nick Cave, and Radiohead,

1055
00:48:04,258 --> 00:48:07,928
and a smattering of Stravinsky
destined me for success.

1056
00:48:08,012 --> 00:48:10,347
So I'll never forget the day
that I realized

1057
00:48:10,430 --> 00:48:12,933
my composition class required composing.

1058
00:48:13,017 --> 00:48:14,101
[all chuckle]

1059
00:48:14,184 --> 00:48:17,772
But I did it. I composed the melody,
I added the harmonies,

1060
00:48:17,855 --> 00:48:19,940
I drew those treble and bass clefs,

1061
00:48:20,024 --> 00:48:22,026
I wrote those whole notes,
those half notes,

1062
00:48:22,109 --> 00:48:24,570
those quarter notes, those rest stops,
and...

1063
00:48:24,653 --> 00:48:28,782
while you'll never witness
a public performance of my composition...

1064
00:48:29,700 --> 00:48:33,412
because of that experience,
I can see music when I hear it.

1065
00:48:34,329 --> 00:48:35,747
I only ever heard it before.

1066
00:48:36,832 --> 00:48:38,709
And I'll always be grateful for that.

1067
00:48:39,126 --> 00:48:41,086
[Paris] <i>It's kill or be killed.</i>

1068
00:48:41,170 --> 00:48:43,380
I'm not talking <i>The Art of War.</i>

1069
00:48:43,463 --> 00:48:44,506
Oh, no.

1070
00:48:44,589 --> 00:48:46,383
That's a tiptoe through the tulips

1071
00:48:46,466 --> 00:48:49,469
compared with what you're going to find
beyond these walls.

1072
00:48:49,553 --> 00:48:53,766
Betrayal, deception...
And that's just in the bedroom.

1073
00:48:55,059 --> 00:48:57,394
That was a joke.
You were supposed to laugh.

1074
00:48:57,477 --> 00:48:59,646
[scattered chuckling]

1075
00:48:59,729 --> 00:49:02,232
Now, I'm not in the habit
of quoting Joseph Stalin.

1076
00:49:02,316 --> 00:49:04,526
I mean, the man was a psychopath,

1077
00:49:04,609 --> 00:49:09,031
and his policy of forced collectivization
killed millions of his own people.

1078
00:49:09,114 --> 00:49:12,701
But I found one thing he said
to be quite inspiring.

1079
00:49:12,784 --> 00:49:14,286
[bell ringing]

1080
00:49:16,496 --> 00:49:19,291
Well, hey, look at this.
Synchronicity.

1081
00:49:19,374 --> 00:49:20,835
How'd it go in there?

1082
00:49:20,918 --> 00:49:23,212
This generation's devoid
of anything resembling mirth,

1083
00:49:23,295 --> 00:49:25,172
but I made my points. You?

1084
00:49:25,255 --> 00:49:26,673
They're young'uns. That's for sure.

1085
00:49:26,757 --> 00:49:27,674
You got time for lunch?

1086
00:49:27,758 --> 00:49:29,468
- I'm starving.
- How about Steady Eddie's?

1087
00:49:29,551 --> 00:49:31,845
- Or the Italian place?
- Is it okay if we smell like garlic?

1088
00:49:31,929 --> 00:49:34,598
Not smelling like garlic
is way overrated if you ask me.

1089
00:49:34,681 --> 00:49:38,018
So what do you think?
The Italian place? Paris?

1090
00:49:38,102 --> 00:49:39,353
- Oh, my God.
- What is it?

1091
00:49:39,436 --> 00:49:40,604
Oh, my God!

1092
00:49:44,649 --> 00:49:47,319
- Tristin?
- [Paris] Get out! Get out!

1093
00:49:47,402 --> 00:49:49,154
[students screaming]

1094
00:49:54,826 --> 00:49:57,662
- What the hell?
- Was that Tristin out there?

1095
00:49:57,746 --> 00:49:58,956
Of course it was Tristin.

1096
00:49:59,039 --> 00:50:02,417
With that pouty mouth,
those liquid eyes. Who else?

1097
00:50:02,501 --> 00:50:04,211
The janitor in softer light?

1098
00:50:04,294 --> 00:50:07,548
- What is this? What am I feeling?
- I don't know. What are you feeling?

1099
00:50:07,631 --> 00:50:13,345
[sighs] I'm feeling fear...
and loneliness and heartache.

1100
00:50:13,428 --> 00:50:16,181
Listen to me. I sound
like a freaking Blake Shelton song.

1101
00:50:16,265 --> 00:50:18,683
- Yours is better.
- My hands are shaking.

1102
00:50:18,767 --> 00:50:22,312
My heart is pounding.
God... I thought I was past this.

1103
00:50:22,396 --> 00:50:24,481
He must be here
for the same reason we are.

1104
00:50:24,564 --> 00:50:26,108
And to hit on girls.

1105
00:50:26,191 --> 00:50:29,361
You saw him out there,
mackin' on that slutty biznotch.

1106
00:50:29,444 --> 00:50:31,363
Now you're just freaking me out.
Calm down.

1107
00:50:31,446 --> 00:50:34,074
And he didn't even look at me.
Not so much as a glance.

1108
00:50:34,158 --> 00:50:36,952
All my education, the advanced degrees,

1109
00:50:37,036 --> 00:50:39,496
the academic awards,
all my accomplishments...

1110
00:50:39,579 --> 00:50:42,249
The private club, the Pilates,
the dermabrasions,

1111
00:50:42,332 --> 00:50:45,044
the subtle nips and tucks,
and I'm still just Paris Geller,

1112
00:50:45,127 --> 00:50:47,212
the amazing, insignificant,
invisible girl.

1113
00:50:47,296 --> 00:50:48,422
You've had nips and tucks?

1114
00:50:48,505 --> 00:50:50,882
- Do not abandon me.
- I'm not.

1115
00:50:50,966 --> 00:50:52,384
- I'm pathetic.
- No.

1116
00:50:52,467 --> 00:50:54,136
Oh, really? [sniffles]

1117
00:50:54,219 --> 00:50:56,013
Check out what's in my briefcase.

1118
00:50:56,931 --> 00:50:58,432
Nothing.

1119
00:50:58,515 --> 00:51:03,270
I thought people would think
I was important because I had briefcase.

1120
00:51:03,938 --> 00:51:05,230
I'm a phony.

1121
00:51:06,315 --> 00:51:07,357
[door rattles]

1122
00:51:08,275 --> 00:51:09,902
- [knocking]
- [girl 1] What's going on?

1123
00:51:09,985 --> 00:51:12,112
- [girl 2] Come on!
- [sighs]

1124
00:51:12,196 --> 00:51:14,614
- I'm still in love with Tristin.
- What? No.

1125
00:51:14,698 --> 00:51:15,991
Yes.

1126
00:51:16,075 --> 00:51:17,451
No. [panting]

1127
00:51:17,534 --> 00:51:18,535
I don't know.

1128
00:51:19,453 --> 00:51:22,372
You are feeling vulnerable right now.
That's what this is.

1129
00:51:22,456 --> 00:51:25,542
You're going through a divorce.
You have your business, the kids.

1130
00:51:25,625 --> 00:51:28,545
The kids hate me.
They like the nanny.

1131
00:51:28,628 --> 00:51:30,464
Last Christmas, they cried until she came.

1132
00:51:30,547 --> 00:51:34,676
I don't blame them. I like the nanny, too.
I cry sometimes when she leaves.

1133
00:51:34,759 --> 00:51:37,346
Oh... hello.

1134
00:51:37,429 --> 00:51:39,764
Francie. Figures.

1135
00:51:39,848 --> 00:51:41,641
- What?
- You're catching us at a bad time.

1136
00:51:41,725 --> 00:51:45,895
- Are you stalking me?
- Sorry, did I accidentally step into 2003?

1137
00:51:45,980 --> 00:51:49,233
What do you need?
Expanded lunch hours?

1138
00:51:49,316 --> 00:51:51,776
Hemlines shortened
to just below the hoo-ha?

1139
00:51:51,860 --> 00:51:53,195
Should I get the nurse?

1140
00:51:53,278 --> 00:51:57,741
Or are you and Rory in cahoots again,
planning a get-together behind my back?

1141
00:51:57,824 --> 00:51:59,409
Is that why you didn't want
to get lunch?

1142
00:51:59,493 --> 00:52:02,704
I did. We were doing Italian.
We're having a bad day.

1143
00:52:02,787 --> 00:52:05,040
You always tried to get
between me and Rory,

1144
00:52:05,124 --> 00:52:06,791
you destroyed my student council career,

1145
00:52:06,875 --> 00:52:09,169
and you ruined my chance
to get into Harvard.

1146
00:52:09,253 --> 00:52:13,548
Paris, you're an MD, a lawyer,
an expert on neoclassical architecture,

1147
00:52:13,632 --> 00:52:16,135
and, I think,
a certified dental technician to boot.

1148
00:52:16,218 --> 00:52:18,803
You rule the world.
What's your damage?

1149
00:52:18,887 --> 00:52:21,431
Oh, you've been spying on me?
Cyber-stalking me?

1150
00:52:21,515 --> 00:52:22,932
How do you know all this?

1151
00:52:23,017 --> 00:52:25,685
- You invited me on LinkedIn.
- Yeah, right.

1152
00:52:25,769 --> 00:52:28,272
Take a powder, Baby John.
This is our turf!

1153
00:52:28,355 --> 00:52:29,856
Sure. Fine.

1154
00:52:29,939 --> 00:52:32,651
We'll just catch up
at the Puffs reunion next month.

1155
00:52:32,734 --> 00:52:35,362
Oops. No we won't,
because you never got Puffed.

1156
00:52:35,445 --> 00:52:37,447
- Screw you!
- Eat me!

1157
00:52:38,907 --> 00:52:40,117
Nice to see you, Francie.

1158
00:52:41,535 --> 00:52:42,911
I miss Doyle.

1159
00:52:42,994 --> 00:52:44,663
- Calm down.
- [takes deep breath]

1160
00:52:44,746 --> 00:52:47,624
I miss the sex.
It was volcanic.

1161
00:52:47,707 --> 00:52:49,709
Oh, boy. I didn't need to know that.

1162
00:52:49,793 --> 00:52:50,960
I'm untethered.

1163
00:52:51,045 --> 00:52:53,547
I'm a mylar balloon
floating into an infinite void,

1164
00:52:53,630 --> 00:52:55,090
and I missed my last period.

1165
00:52:55,174 --> 00:52:57,467
You're going through
a bad stretch here, Paris.

1166
00:52:57,551 --> 00:53:01,555
Just slow down, reassess,
then change course. It'll get better.

1167
00:53:01,638 --> 00:53:04,308
- Thanks for the cut-rate Confucius.
- Hey!

1168
00:53:04,391 --> 00:53:05,475
Sorry.

1169
00:53:05,559 --> 00:53:08,187
I've got... three meetings

1170
00:53:08,270 --> 00:53:10,730
and a panel discussion
at the 92nd Street Y,

1171
00:53:10,814 --> 00:53:14,443
and I have got to get myself together
because Lena Dunham's the moderator.

1172
00:53:14,526 --> 00:53:16,611
She cannot see me like this.

1173
00:53:16,695 --> 00:53:18,905
[takes deep breath]

1174
00:53:21,158 --> 00:53:24,369
- Don't tell anyone about the briefcase.
- Your secret's safe with me.

1175
00:53:31,042 --> 00:53:34,963
- [Charleston] Thank you for stopping by.
- I wouldn't leave without saying goodbye.

1176
00:53:35,046 --> 00:53:37,549
Now, I have a question,
and there's a point to it.

1177
00:53:37,632 --> 00:53:38,675
Shoot.

1178
00:53:38,758 --> 00:53:40,844
Have you ever considered
getting your master's?

1179
00:53:40,927 --> 00:53:41,928
Why?

1180
00:53:42,011 --> 00:53:45,349
So you could come back
and be on the faculty here.

1181
00:53:45,432 --> 00:53:47,476
Oh. Wow.

1182
00:53:47,559 --> 00:53:49,353
It's not a bad place to work.

1183
00:53:49,436 --> 00:53:51,605
Not at all. I'm very flattered.

1184
00:53:51,688 --> 00:53:53,607
I've always
thought the world of you, Rory.

1185
00:53:53,690 --> 00:53:54,900
All of us here have.

1186
00:53:54,983 --> 00:53:57,486
And your experience
since you left us...

1187
00:53:57,569 --> 00:53:59,904
Top of your class at Yale, your writings.

1188
00:53:59,988 --> 00:54:03,367
We have a spot open for you
in whatever department you choose.

1189
00:54:03,450 --> 00:54:05,577
English, history...

1190
00:54:05,660 --> 00:54:08,037
Uh, not so much musical composition.

1191
00:54:08,122 --> 00:54:09,664
Oh, well, then I'm out of here.

1192
00:54:09,748 --> 00:54:11,458
[chuckles] Thoughts?

1193
00:54:12,876 --> 00:54:16,546
I thought about getting a master's.
Years ago. A PhD.

1194
00:54:16,630 --> 00:54:20,049
But... I was impatient.
I wanted to get out into the world.

1195
00:54:20,134 --> 00:54:23,303
Yes, you were always internally stronger
than everyone else.

1196
00:54:23,387 --> 00:54:27,182
I suppose you get that from your mother.
She was a real spitfire.

1197
00:54:27,266 --> 00:54:30,227
- [chuckles] Still is.
- We all go through bad stretches.

1198
00:54:30,310 --> 00:54:34,022
Oh. No, I'm not going
through a bad stretch.

1199
00:54:34,105 --> 00:54:36,441
Then my language was too strong.

1200
00:54:36,525 --> 00:54:41,280
It's just that when I hear that someone
of your caliber is living here and there,

1201
00:54:41,363 --> 00:54:43,282
I wonder if I can be of assistance.

1202
00:54:43,365 --> 00:54:47,577
I appreciate it,
but I don't think teaching's my future.

1203
00:54:47,661 --> 00:54:49,204
But thank you so much.

1204
00:54:49,288 --> 00:54:50,955
- [knocking on door]
- Come in!

1205
00:54:51,039 --> 00:54:53,542
- Keep in touch, though.
- I'll keep in touch.

1206
00:54:53,625 --> 00:54:57,296
Headmaster, the students
from Paris Geller's lecture are here.

1207
00:54:57,379 --> 00:54:58,547
Bring them in.

1208
00:54:59,464 --> 00:55:01,007
The Paris postmortem.

1209
00:55:01,090 --> 00:55:03,593
- A headmaster's work is never done.
- [chuckles]

1210
00:55:20,735 --> 00:55:23,029
- [grunts] Blow my colon.
- What now?

1211
00:55:23,112 --> 00:55:25,574
I left my glasses upstairs.
Three flights up.

1212
00:55:25,657 --> 00:55:26,658
Well, so go get 'em.

1213
00:55:26,741 --> 00:55:30,579
I'm exhausted from this day, Rory.
I can't take these stairs.

1214
00:55:30,662 --> 00:55:33,039
- So ask Clementina to go get them.
- No, no, no.

1215
00:55:33,123 --> 00:55:35,500
That's how we lost the kids' last nanny.
To those stairs.

1216
00:55:35,584 --> 00:55:38,169
- How?
- This place is a vertical Armageddon.

1217
00:55:38,253 --> 00:55:41,089
Five stories.
And Doyle wouldn't put in an elevator

1218
00:55:41,172 --> 00:55:43,800
because it'd ruin
the building's architectural integrity.

1219
00:55:43,883 --> 00:55:47,762
He just loved telling people,
"It's pre-war. Pre-Civil War."

1220
00:55:47,846 --> 00:55:50,474
[scoffs] Like that wouldn't make
Dorothy Parker barf.

1221
00:55:50,557 --> 00:55:52,058
- [door opens]
- [Doyle] Hello.

1222
00:55:52,141 --> 00:55:53,142
Speak of the devil.

1223
00:55:53,226 --> 00:55:55,645
So we lose our nanny
because she won't take the stairs.

1224
00:55:55,729 --> 00:55:56,563
[Doyle] We're here.

1225
00:55:56,646 --> 00:55:58,940
[Paris] Meanwhile,
Doyle's renting a loft in Tribeca.

1226
00:55:59,023 --> 00:56:01,610
- One story and it has an elevator.
- [Doyle] Hello?

1227
00:56:01,693 --> 00:56:04,487
- Doyle, just come in!
- I didn't know if you wanted me to.

1228
00:56:04,571 --> 00:56:07,824
What are you going to do?
Shove the kids through the mail slot?

1229
00:56:09,033 --> 00:56:10,327
- Hello, my babies.
- [door closes]

1230
00:56:10,410 --> 00:56:11,828
[Gabriela] Hi, Mommy.

1231
00:56:11,911 --> 00:56:13,872
Go up with Clementina.
I'll be up in a minute.

1232
00:56:13,955 --> 00:56:15,249
Yes, miss.
Come on, little ones.

1233
00:56:15,332 --> 00:56:17,041
Hey, fun day, guys.
Right?

1234
00:56:17,125 --> 00:56:19,127
Fun day?
All right. Fun day.

1235
00:56:19,210 --> 00:56:22,213
- Hey, Rory. It's nice to see you.
- Hey, Doyle.

1236
00:56:22,297 --> 00:56:24,132
See, I didn't poison her against you.

1237
00:56:24,215 --> 00:56:26,926
- I know. She and I e-mail now and then.
- You guys e-mail?

1238
00:56:27,010 --> 00:56:28,928
They suck you
into the Condé Nast universe yet?

1239
00:56:29,012 --> 00:56:30,264
- Still working on it.
- Really?

1240
00:56:30,347 --> 00:56:32,807
- You've been talking about it for months.
- You guys talk?

1241
00:56:32,891 --> 00:56:34,809
- How's the screenwriting going?
- Great.

1242
00:56:34,893 --> 00:56:37,395
Just got in last night
from a pretty big meeting in LA.

1243
00:56:37,479 --> 00:56:38,730
- Don't sit.
- How'd it go?

1244
00:56:38,813 --> 00:56:40,106
Pulled in off of Melrose,

1245
00:56:40,189 --> 00:56:43,443
sat on their Italian couch,
drank a Fiji Water,

1246
00:56:43,526 --> 00:56:45,654
pitched them an idea
I came up with at the airport.

1247
00:56:45,737 --> 00:56:49,574
Then they stuck a sack full of money
in my pocket and flew me home first class.

1248
00:56:49,658 --> 00:56:51,993
- Bunch of nitwits.
- The kids ate, right?

1249
00:56:52,077 --> 00:56:54,287
- They're eating here.
- There's nothing here, Doyle.

1250
00:56:54,371 --> 00:56:56,122
So have Clementina take them out.

1251
00:56:56,205 --> 00:56:58,292
- She just went upstairs.
- She went upstairs?

1252
00:56:58,375 --> 00:57:01,503
- You were right here.
- Why would you let her go upstairs?

1253
00:57:01,586 --> 00:57:03,713
Because I didn't know
she had to come back down.

1254
00:57:03,797 --> 00:57:06,675
Now I have to go upstairs,
tell her to bring the kids downstairs,

1255
00:57:06,758 --> 00:57:08,760
take them out, bring them home,
take them upstairs,

1256
00:57:08,843 --> 00:57:10,387
and we'll lose this nanny, too.

1257
00:57:10,470 --> 00:57:13,682
- We cannot lose this nanny.
- We're still paying off the last nanny.

1258
00:57:13,765 --> 00:57:16,017
Guys, I will take the kids
to get something to eat.

1259
00:57:16,100 --> 00:57:17,811
- Really?
- You'll go upstairs?

1260
00:57:17,894 --> 00:57:19,854
- Yeah. Yes.
- [Paris] And bring them down?

1261
00:57:19,938 --> 00:57:21,690
And take them out and bring them back?

1262
00:57:21,773 --> 00:57:24,067
Or leave them in an alley.
One of those two things.

1263
00:57:24,150 --> 00:57:26,861
- Thank you, Rory.
- Yeah, thanks, Rory.

1264
00:57:26,945 --> 00:57:29,197
Bye, guys.
Kiss the kids again.

1265
00:57:31,199 --> 00:57:32,200
[door opens]

1266
00:57:32,784 --> 00:57:33,827
- What?
- [door closes]

1267
00:57:33,910 --> 00:57:35,912
Are you and Doyle having an affair?

1268
00:57:36,413 --> 00:57:38,164
[indistinct chatter]

1269
00:57:42,836 --> 00:57:44,253
[Timoteo imitating car sounds]

1270
00:57:50,176 --> 00:57:51,970
[cell phone vibrates]

1271
00:57:55,056 --> 00:57:56,391
<i>Waiting...</i>

1272
00:58:01,688 --> 00:58:03,231
<i>Waiting...</i>

1273
00:58:03,315 --> 00:58:04,816
[line ringing]

1274
00:58:05,900 --> 00:58:07,486
[Logan] <i>Hey, there.</i>

1275
00:58:07,569 --> 00:58:09,612
Oh, shoot. Did I wake you up?

1276
00:58:09,696 --> 00:58:11,656
I woke you up. It's 2:00 a.m. there.

1277
00:58:11,740 --> 00:58:14,451
No, no, no, it's fine. I'm up.
Everything okay?

1278
00:58:14,534 --> 00:58:17,329
Yeah, I'm... I just... um...

1279
00:58:17,412 --> 00:58:18,538
What?

1280
00:58:18,622 --> 00:58:20,582
- I really hate to do this.
<i>- What?</i>

1281
00:58:20,665 --> 00:58:22,376
- Come on.
<i>- Um...</i>

1282
00:58:22,959 --> 00:58:26,546
Would your father still be willing to put
in a good word for me at Condé Nast?

1283
00:58:26,630 --> 00:58:29,132
- Absolutely.
<i>- It's okay if he won't.</i>

1284
00:58:29,215 --> 00:58:32,552
- I mean, I don't know how serious he was.
- No, he'll do it for sure.

1285
00:58:32,635 --> 00:58:35,055
He does stuff like this
all the time for lesser mortals.

1286
00:58:35,638 --> 00:58:37,140
I really didn't want to do it this way.

1287
00:58:37,223 --> 00:58:39,768
- Don't be embarrassed.
- I'm not.

1288
00:58:39,851 --> 00:58:41,770
- Pride's a little hurt.
<i>- Get over it.</i>

1289
00:58:41,853 --> 00:58:46,024
I'll give you a text when it's done.
Okay? Be happy.

1290
00:58:46,107 --> 00:58:47,734
<i>I'm happy. Oops, hold on.</i>

1291
00:58:47,817 --> 00:58:49,486
<i>- What?</i>
- Oh, uh...

1292
00:58:49,569 --> 00:58:51,738
I thought the baby was gonna throw up.

1293
00:58:51,821 --> 00:58:53,448
Your life change since I last saw you?

1294
00:58:53,531 --> 00:58:55,075
It's Paris' kid. I'm babysitting.

1295
00:58:55,158 --> 00:58:56,576
Did you find your lucky outfit, Ace?

1296
00:58:56,660 --> 00:58:58,828
There is no sign.
[sighs] Thank you again.

1297
00:58:58,912 --> 00:59:01,706
<i>- And thank your father for me.</i>
- No problem. Really.

1298
00:59:01,790 --> 00:59:06,545
All right, well, I guess I should, uh,
let you get back to bed. [chuckles]

1299
00:59:06,628 --> 00:59:09,130
Okay, I'll let you know, Ace.
And...

1300
00:59:10,173 --> 00:59:11,174
good luck.

1301
00:59:12,175 --> 00:59:13,134
Thanks, Logan.

1302
00:59:15,804 --> 00:59:17,472
[sighs]

1303
00:59:20,058 --> 00:59:22,268
She's great. She's depressing.

1304
00:59:22,352 --> 00:59:24,229
[Rory] Failed to find a jolly way
to tell us

1305
00:59:24,312 --> 00:59:27,148
that the Pacific Seaboard west
of the I-5 was going down.

1306
00:59:27,231 --> 00:59:29,984
- I always like a spoonful of sugar.
- "Consider the Lobster"?

1307
00:59:30,068 --> 00:59:31,903
It's a serious subject,
but funny and truthful.

1308
00:59:31,986 --> 00:59:33,613
[Jim] That's the camp I'd put you in.

1309
00:59:33,697 --> 00:59:35,198
I mean, no one's David Foster Wallace,

1310
00:59:35,281 --> 00:59:38,618
but there's an erudition to your stuff,
and some whimsy, which I like.

1311
00:59:38,702 --> 00:59:39,869
I'll cop to that.

1312
00:59:39,953 --> 00:59:41,913
- Your <i>Talk </i>piece had it.
- Yeah, it was great.

1313
00:59:41,996 --> 00:59:45,625
And all your interviews are spot on.
You're in the piece, but not too much.

1314
00:59:45,709 --> 00:59:47,210
So, what are you up to now?

1315
00:59:48,169 --> 00:59:51,047
Oh, I, uh... well, I'm here.
[chuckles] Hello.

1316
00:59:51,130 --> 00:59:53,675
- [both chuckle]
- And, um...

1317
00:59:53,758 --> 00:59:55,802
I'm just finishing up some things.

1318
00:59:55,885 --> 00:59:58,012
And, um, I...
I'm working on a book proposal.

1319
00:59:58,096 --> 01:00:00,557
Oh, cool. What's the book?
If you don't mind.

1320
01:00:00,640 --> 01:00:03,685
It's actually an expansion
of my <i>Talk </i>piece on Naomi Shropshire.

1321
01:00:03,768 --> 01:00:05,103
Really?

1322
01:00:05,186 --> 01:00:06,605
Wow. Interesting.

1323
01:00:06,688 --> 01:00:08,773
Uh, she's a little unhinged, isn't she?

1324
01:00:08,857 --> 01:00:11,317
- Makes her all the more interesting.
- What else?

1325
01:00:11,400 --> 01:00:13,945
I'm heading back to London
in just a couple days.

1326
01:00:14,028 --> 01:00:16,490
- There's a website after me.
- There must be a million.

1327
01:00:16,573 --> 01:00:19,868
- We have a couple things floating around.
- Mmm-hmm. Some sports stuff.

1328
01:00:19,951 --> 01:00:22,203
It would be an outsider's perspective
coming from me.

1329
01:00:22,286 --> 01:00:23,663
And we prefer that sometimes.

1330
01:00:23,747 --> 01:00:26,207
And lines.
That's been an elusive one.

1331
01:00:26,290 --> 01:00:27,959
- Lines?
- [Jim] The ones all over New York.

1332
01:00:28,042 --> 01:00:30,795
You pass them all the time.
People line up for anything.

1333
01:00:30,879 --> 01:00:33,131
Collectibles, fast food,
restaurant openings.

1334
01:00:33,214 --> 01:00:35,467
It's the psychology of the group
that we're interested in.

1335
01:00:35,550 --> 01:00:36,885
What's the commonality?

1336
01:00:36,968 --> 01:00:39,888
David Wallace would've nailed it,
but so far we haven't.

1337
01:00:39,971 --> 01:00:40,889
I love that.

1338
01:00:40,972 --> 01:00:43,433
I'll confess, I've stood
in a lot of lines, and it's a thing.

1339
01:00:43,516 --> 01:00:45,643
Noodle it around a bit, okay?
And keep in touch?

1340
01:00:45,727 --> 01:00:46,853
Definitely.

1341
01:00:47,771 --> 01:00:49,856
- So nice to meet you.
- Here's my cell.

1342
01:00:49,939 --> 01:00:52,233
The <i>Talk</i> piece was great. Really.

1343
01:00:52,316 --> 01:00:54,778
- Thanks, Jim. Denise. Have a good day.
- [Denise] You, too.

1344
01:00:54,861 --> 01:00:56,905
- Don't lose the card.
- I won't. Bye.

1345
01:00:56,988 --> 01:00:58,406
[Jim] Gary, bring the book in here.

1346
01:00:58,490 --> 01:01:00,783
- [Denise] Art department's freaking out.
- What else is new?

1347
01:01:00,867 --> 01:01:02,911
Don't forget,
you have that thing at Bemelmans.

1348
01:01:02,994 --> 01:01:04,454
- Oh. That's tonight?
- [Denise] Yeah.

1349
01:01:04,538 --> 01:01:07,999
[Jim] Have Brad bring me a sandwich.
I can't drink on an empty stomach.

1350
01:01:10,126 --> 01:01:12,128
- [knock on door]
- Come in!

1351
01:01:13,129 --> 01:01:15,298
[sighs] Sorry, I'm late.

1352
01:01:15,381 --> 01:01:18,593
These drive-through coffee places?
Love the concept. But Heather and I?

1353
01:01:18,676 --> 01:01:21,221
We're gonna need to rehearse
the cup pass a couple more times.

1354
01:01:21,804 --> 01:01:22,972
Oh, my mom's late, too?

1355
01:01:23,056 --> 01:01:25,391
- I haven't heard from her.
- Really?

1356
01:01:25,474 --> 01:01:28,603
She doesn't usually pick up the phone
when she's driving, but...

1357
01:01:28,687 --> 01:01:29,938
[line ringing]

1358
01:01:30,021 --> 01:01:33,024
- [Emily] <i>Hello?</i>
- Oh, Mom, are you on your way?

1359
01:01:33,107 --> 01:01:35,318
- No, I'm at home.
<i>- It's Tuesday.</i>

1360
01:01:35,401 --> 01:01:36,903
- I know what day it is.
- <i>Well...</i>

1361
01:01:36,986 --> 01:01:38,780
Claudia and I are here.
Just the two of us.

1362
01:01:38,863 --> 01:01:41,157
The couch cushions are fluffed.
The candle's lit.

1363
01:01:41,240 --> 01:01:42,992
- I'm quitting.
<i>- What?</i>

1364
01:01:43,076 --> 01:01:45,245
- I'm done. I'm not coming anymore.
- Why?

1365
01:01:45,328 --> 01:01:48,122
We've had six sessions,
and you are no different.

1366
01:01:48,206 --> 01:01:49,791
- What?
<i>- And that woman isn't helping.</i>

1367
01:01:49,874 --> 01:01:52,043
- Who, Claudia?
- She's a dolt.

1368
01:01:52,126 --> 01:01:54,546
I don't need to pay someone
not to agree with me.

1369
01:01:54,629 --> 01:01:56,130
- But...
<i>- I'm not coming.</i>

1370
01:01:56,214 --> 01:01:58,925
- Sorry you made the trip. Goodbye.
- [sighs]

1371
01:02:00,176 --> 01:02:02,095
- She quit.
- I'm sorry.

1372
01:02:02,178 --> 01:02:04,931
- She started this whole damn thing.
- It happens.

1373
01:02:05,014 --> 01:02:07,475
- I just... With no notice.
- It's not unusual.

1374
01:02:07,559 --> 01:02:10,019
[scoffs] She said I was no different.

1375
01:02:10,103 --> 01:02:12,939
Me. This wasn't for me.
This was for her.

1376
01:02:13,022 --> 01:02:14,774
People have expectations
when they come here.

1377
01:02:14,858 --> 01:02:17,026
Very often, the reality is different.

1378
01:02:17,110 --> 01:02:18,820
What sort of transformation
did she expect?

1379
01:02:18,903 --> 01:02:20,196
I come in here Lorelai Gilmore,

1380
01:02:20,279 --> 01:02:22,699
and two months later,
I walk out Queen Latifah?

1381
01:02:22,782 --> 01:02:25,952
- Probably not Queen Latifah.
- Oh, she is amazing. [scoffs]

1382
01:02:26,035 --> 01:02:28,788
She smoked me out, got me here...
"I'm no different."

1383
01:02:28,871 --> 01:02:30,623
Different?
She doesn't even know who I am.

1384
01:02:30,707 --> 01:02:32,584
- Are you...
- Am I...

1385
01:02:32,667 --> 01:02:33,835
Staying?

1386
01:02:33,918 --> 01:02:36,337
Oh. [scoffs]
No, I've got a million things to do.

1387
01:02:36,420 --> 01:02:38,089
- [sighs]
- Oh, okay.

1388
01:02:38,172 --> 01:02:39,799
I mean, I should just go, right?

1389
01:02:39,883 --> 01:02:43,302
Well, the hour's paid for.
Anything you want to talk about?

1390
01:02:43,386 --> 01:02:44,804
Uh, no. No, nothing.

1391
01:02:44,888 --> 01:02:46,890
Wait, my mother's crazy.
Okay, now nothing.

1392
01:02:46,973 --> 01:02:48,141
[chuckles]

1393
01:02:48,725 --> 01:02:51,519
- I don't know. It's been weird lately.
- How so?

1394
01:02:51,603 --> 01:02:54,105
Uh, this whole thing
was supposed to be grief therapy.

1395
01:02:54,188 --> 01:02:56,733
You know, my mother's grief therapy,
because of Dad.

1396
01:02:56,816 --> 01:02:58,401
Because of Dad dying...
I get it.

1397
01:02:58,484 --> 01:03:01,487
It was a stunner.
It was a stunner for all of us.

1398
01:03:01,570 --> 01:03:04,240
- Yeah, she talked about it.
- It was just so fast.

1399
01:03:04,824 --> 01:03:07,160
I was at the inn,
working on the books a little,

1400
01:03:07,243 --> 01:03:09,245
using the calculator on my phone...

1401
01:03:10,413 --> 01:03:11,706
and it rang.

1402
01:03:11,790 --> 01:03:14,375
And it was Mom with the news.

1403
01:03:15,376 --> 01:03:17,211
He was in the ICU.

1404
01:03:17,295 --> 01:03:18,880
Heart attack. Big one.

1405
01:03:19,797 --> 01:03:21,507
And we hung up.

1406
01:03:21,591 --> 01:03:24,552
And my phone went back
to being a calculator. [scoffs]

1407
01:03:25,136 --> 01:03:26,304
It just seemed so unreal.

1408
01:03:26,888 --> 01:03:28,598
You can't plan for these things.

1409
01:03:28,681 --> 01:03:30,683
And he never got out of the ICU.

1410
01:03:31,225 --> 01:03:34,562
He was conscious at times,
but in and out.

1411
01:03:34,646 --> 01:03:37,440
And he was angry.
He was really angry.

1412
01:03:37,523 --> 01:03:39,233
[takes deep breath]
He couldn't believe it.

1413
01:03:39,317 --> 01:03:40,985
He's Richard Gilmore.

1414
01:03:41,069 --> 01:03:44,405
This is not how Richard Gilmore goes down.
[sighs]

1415
01:03:45,406 --> 01:03:47,701
- You know what his last words were?
- No.

1416
01:03:48,785 --> 01:03:51,037
"Get the hell away from me." [chuckles]

1417
01:03:51,955 --> 01:03:53,707
Aimed at the nurses, not... not us.

1418
01:03:53,790 --> 01:03:56,292
It was actually pretty funny.

1419
01:03:57,501 --> 01:03:59,420
And then... [sighs]

1420
01:04:00,504 --> 01:04:02,048
just like that.

1421
01:04:03,466 --> 01:04:05,384
I didn't get that moment, you know?

1422
01:04:05,468 --> 01:04:07,136
That Lifetime movie moment,

1423
01:04:07,220 --> 01:04:10,348
"I love you, Lorelai."
"I love you too, Dad."

1424
01:04:10,431 --> 01:04:12,016
Mom didn't get it either.

1425
01:04:13,476 --> 01:04:15,228
Fifty years.

1426
01:04:15,311 --> 01:04:18,189
They were married 50 years.
[takes deep breath]

1427
01:04:18,272 --> 01:04:19,607
[sighs]

1428
01:04:19,691 --> 01:04:22,110
That thing she said last week,
about me and Luke.

1429
01:04:22,193 --> 01:04:25,113
About us being partners,
because we're not married.

1430
01:04:25,196 --> 01:04:28,032
- Like we're a comedy team.
- Feels like it struck a chord.

1431
01:04:28,116 --> 01:04:30,660
My mother strikes more chords
than Esa-Pekka Salonen.

1432
01:04:30,743 --> 01:04:32,161
Hmm. Lorelai...

1433
01:04:32,661 --> 01:04:36,207
you should know many people
have full, lasting emotional relationships

1434
01:04:36,290 --> 01:04:37,666
without being married.

1435
01:04:37,751 --> 01:04:39,085
I know.

1436
01:04:39,794 --> 01:04:41,796
Do you want to be married?

1437
01:04:41,880 --> 01:04:44,966
I've been married. You didn't know that.
To Rory's father.

1438
01:04:45,550 --> 01:04:46,968
It was brief.

1439
01:04:47,051 --> 01:04:52,015
We have... had a long,
complicated relationship.

1440
01:04:52,932 --> 01:04:54,267
And it didn't end badly.

1441
01:04:54,350 --> 01:04:56,728
It just ended
because it shouldn't have happened.

1442
01:04:57,686 --> 01:04:59,773
It was supposed to be Luke.

1443
01:05:01,440 --> 01:05:03,109
It was always supposed to be Luke.

1444
01:05:03,192 --> 01:05:05,111
If it was always supposed to be Luke...

1445
01:05:05,194 --> 01:05:06,279
Then why aren't we married?

1446
01:05:06,362 --> 01:05:08,447
[chuckles] Why?

1447
01:05:09,031 --> 01:05:13,244
I just don't do things like my mother.
[grunting]

1448
01:05:13,327 --> 01:05:15,163
- Dinner the other night.
- What happened?

1449
01:05:15,246 --> 01:05:17,039
- She attacked Luke.
- How?

1450
01:05:17,123 --> 01:05:19,375
- With a bag of money.
- I don't get it.

1451
01:05:19,458 --> 01:05:20,794
It was money my father put aside

1452
01:05:20,877 --> 01:05:23,337
for Luke to spend
on something Luke doesn't want.

1453
01:05:23,421 --> 01:05:27,008
[sighs] That my father
can still hover like that.

1454
01:05:28,968 --> 01:05:29,927
We're happy.

1455
01:05:31,930 --> 01:05:33,514
He's very happy.

1456
01:05:35,016 --> 01:05:38,102
Luke and I are... happy.

1457
01:05:40,939 --> 01:05:42,899
- [bell dings]
- [indistinct chatter]

1458
01:05:42,982 --> 01:05:44,067
Thanks, Luke.

1459
01:05:44,150 --> 01:05:46,069
Hey, Caesar,
can you get 'em change for me?

1460
01:05:46,152 --> 01:05:47,570
Got it.

1461
01:05:47,653 --> 01:05:51,574
Oh, no.
Oh, no, no, no.

1462
01:05:51,657 --> 01:05:53,659
No. Please, no.

1463
01:05:53,742 --> 01:05:55,703
- [bell chimes]
- Hello, Luke.

1464
01:05:55,787 --> 01:05:57,580
Mrs. Gilmore, hi.
What's going on?

1465
01:05:57,663 --> 01:06:00,666
- Luke, this is Ida. Ida, Luke.
- We gotta get started.

1466
01:06:00,749 --> 01:06:02,877
- We got a lot of ground to cover.
- Started on...

1467
01:06:02,960 --> 01:06:04,921
- [Emily] We're seeing properties.
- Properties?

1468
01:06:05,004 --> 01:06:07,715
Three gems, an in-betweener
and a dog with a price I like.

1469
01:06:07,799 --> 01:06:10,134
- Maybe we should drop the dog.
- But it's close by.

1470
01:06:10,218 --> 01:06:12,637
If it's the first franchise,
Luke can zip back and forth.

1471
01:06:12,720 --> 01:06:13,762
Zip back and forth?

1472
01:06:13,847 --> 01:06:15,389
- [Emily] That makes sense.
- What?

1473
01:06:15,473 --> 01:06:16,891
- Are you ready?
- To do what?

1474
01:06:16,975 --> 01:06:19,310
To see your potential
franchise locations, of course.

1475
01:06:19,393 --> 01:06:21,395
Oh, now, Mrs. Gilmore...

1476
01:06:21,479 --> 01:06:22,646
Call her Mom.

1477
01:06:25,274 --> 01:06:28,111
Uh, didn't Lorelai talk to you about this?

1478
01:06:28,194 --> 01:06:30,822
This has nothing to do with Lorelai.
This is about you.

1479
01:06:30,905 --> 01:06:33,657
- Did you lose that card I gave you?
- I gave it to Lorelai.

1480
01:06:33,741 --> 01:06:36,911
Really? Do you give all
your important business cards to Lorelai?

1481
01:06:36,995 --> 01:06:39,163
- Is she your secretary?
- No, but I...

1482
01:06:39,247 --> 01:06:42,750
Now, I'm assuming you have someone
to look after the place while you're gone?

1483
01:06:42,834 --> 01:06:44,252
- Yes. Caesar.
- Yep?

1484
01:06:44,335 --> 01:06:47,130
Um, uh, can you watch the place
for a little while,

1485
01:06:47,213 --> 01:06:49,757
or do you still have that thing
you were going to?

1486
01:06:49,841 --> 01:06:52,301
- You know, that appointment?
- Nope, I'm all yours.

1487
01:06:52,385 --> 01:06:55,012
Oh, good. He has a Caesar.

1488
01:06:55,096 --> 01:06:57,015
Caesar can run one of the franchises.

1489
01:06:57,098 --> 01:06:59,058
- Run what?
- [Ida] You got any other Caesars?

1490
01:06:59,142 --> 01:07:00,226
No, just the one.

1491
01:07:00,309 --> 01:07:02,186
- You're gonna need more.
- Let's hit the road.

1492
01:07:02,270 --> 01:07:03,980
I gotta confirm all this stuff.

1493
01:07:04,063 --> 01:07:05,189
[bell chimes]

1494
01:07:05,273 --> 01:07:07,150
Is that the shirt you wear
on business outings?

1495
01:07:07,233 --> 01:07:09,360
- Yeah.
- There's blood on it.

1496
01:07:09,443 --> 01:07:10,528
Nah, that's jelly.

1497
01:07:11,237 --> 01:07:12,363
I'll be right back.

1498
01:07:15,366 --> 01:07:17,743
If I'm running something,
I'm gonna need a raise.

1499
01:07:17,827 --> 01:07:19,495
- [bell dings]
- [man] Order up!

1500
01:07:20,371 --> 01:07:22,748
- [indistinct chatter]
- [music playing]

1501
01:07:24,125 --> 01:07:25,418
- This place is still open.
- So?

1502
01:07:25,501 --> 01:07:27,211
- It's not available.
- Everything is.

1503
01:07:27,295 --> 01:07:29,714
- It's a kind of a bad neighborhood.
- It's up-and-coming.

1504
01:07:29,797 --> 01:07:31,840
- It's gonna explode.
- See? Up-and-coming.

1505
01:07:31,925 --> 01:07:35,636
No, they illegally tapped their gas.
It's literally going to explode.

1506
01:07:35,720 --> 01:07:38,222
- What can I do for you folks?
- I'm sorry about this.

1507
01:07:38,306 --> 01:07:39,891
- Ida Friedman.
- Sam Duncan.

1508
01:07:39,974 --> 01:07:42,435
So nice to meet you, Sam.

1509
01:07:42,518 --> 01:07:45,396
Sam is four months behind
in his payments.

1510
01:07:45,479 --> 01:07:47,606
The marshal's already sniffing around.

1511
01:07:47,690 --> 01:07:49,692
- Excellent.
- I'm really sorry about this.

1512
01:07:49,775 --> 01:07:52,736
- It all has to go.
- The bankruptcy court'll take it anyway.

1513
01:07:52,820 --> 01:07:54,197
He won't have a pot to piss in.

1514
01:07:54,280 --> 01:07:57,700
- What must the bathrooms look like?
- Dresden after the bombings is my guess.

1515
01:07:57,783 --> 01:08:00,912
It needs to be lighter.
White paint, yellow accents.

1516
01:08:00,995 --> 01:08:03,664
- Oh, and look at that ridiculous clock.
- [Ida] Ugh.

1517
01:08:04,332 --> 01:08:06,500
You thought the second place
was a possibility?

1518
01:08:06,584 --> 01:08:09,462
- You'd have to blow out the back...
- You'd have to.

1519
01:08:09,545 --> 01:08:10,964
But permits take forever.

1520
01:08:11,047 --> 01:08:14,383
Put an Andrew Jackson in the right hands,
they'll stir your soup.

1521
01:08:14,467 --> 01:08:17,886
And Luke, are you good with putting
number two in the maybe column?

1522
01:08:17,971 --> 01:08:19,180
- Number two?
- Number two.

1523
01:08:19,263 --> 01:08:22,433
- You'd have to blow out the back.
- [Ida] He's in default. He can't complain.

1524
01:08:22,516 --> 01:08:24,185
Yeah, blow it out. That sounds good.

1525
01:08:24,268 --> 01:08:26,103
- Luke is good with number two.
- [Ida] Hold on.

1526
01:08:26,187 --> 01:08:28,564
- He'd be crazy not to be.
- So that's four possibilities.

1527
01:08:28,648 --> 01:08:29,649
No, three plus a maybe.

1528
01:08:29,732 --> 01:08:31,525
- When do you start negotiating?
- Yesterday.

1529
01:08:31,609 --> 01:08:33,402
- Everything's a negotiation.
- Let's start.

1530
01:08:33,486 --> 01:08:36,197
- You're in good hands.
- We're gonna squeeze in one more place.

1531
01:08:36,280 --> 01:08:38,574
Don't you have that thing
you gotta get to today?

1532
01:08:38,657 --> 01:08:40,368
- What thing?
- Your therapy with Lorelai?

1533
01:08:40,451 --> 01:08:43,120
- You don't want to miss that.
- Oh, I stopped that a week ago.

1534
01:08:43,829 --> 01:08:45,539
Oh, right. Right.

1535
01:08:45,623 --> 01:08:48,084
- She didn't tell you?
- No. No, she told me.

1536
01:08:48,167 --> 01:08:49,877
She never told you.

1537
01:08:49,961 --> 01:08:51,420
Oh, here we are.

1538
01:08:52,171 --> 01:08:54,966
- Oh, it's cute.
- It's shaped like a teacup.

1539
01:08:55,049 --> 01:08:56,509
And it's near a prison.

1540
01:08:58,594 --> 01:08:59,971
<i>Just closin' up, fellas.</i>

1541
01:09:01,764 --> 01:09:05,268
Hi. I know you're sick of hearing this,
but this movie, <i>History of Violence?</i>

1542
01:09:05,351 --> 01:09:06,852
Viggo Mortensen is you.

1543
01:09:06,935 --> 01:09:10,106
- He's totally you.
- I know. You've said it before.

1544
01:09:10,189 --> 01:09:11,649
David Cronenberg owes you money.

1545
01:09:11,732 --> 01:09:14,360
He must have dropped by the diner,
got inspired,

1546
01:09:14,443 --> 01:09:16,320
and turned you into this ex-thug guy.

1547
01:09:16,404 --> 01:09:18,948
- He must have been in.
- I don't even know what he looks like.

1548
01:09:19,032 --> 01:09:21,909
- Or maybe Viggo Mortensen came by...
- [man on TV] <i>Coffee!</i>

1549
01:09:21,993 --> 01:09:24,620
observed you
and called David Cronenberg

1550
01:09:24,704 --> 01:09:26,247
with the idea. They're very close.

1551
01:09:26,330 --> 01:09:29,250
- You know what Viggo looks like.
- Like looking in a mirror.

1552
01:09:29,834 --> 01:09:30,793
You okay?

1553
01:09:30,876 --> 01:09:33,171
[takes deep breath] Yeah, just tired.

1554
01:09:33,254 --> 01:09:35,714
- Wanna order in?
- I can whip something up.

1555
01:09:35,798 --> 01:09:37,300
All right, start whipping.

1556
01:09:37,383 --> 01:09:40,303
Hmm. Hey, uh, how was therapy today?

1557
01:09:40,386 --> 01:09:42,721
[takes deep breath] Same old, same old.

1558
01:09:42,805 --> 01:09:44,932
My mother did most of the talking,
as usual.

1559
01:09:45,016 --> 01:09:46,267
Right.

1560
01:09:47,685 --> 01:09:49,937
It's a fancy shirt.
Did you go to the bank?

1561
01:09:50,021 --> 01:09:52,148
Yeah. Yeah, the bank.

1562
01:09:52,231 --> 01:09:53,982
- They like collars.
- They like collars.

1563
01:09:54,067 --> 01:09:55,151
[whimpering on TV]

1564
01:09:55,234 --> 01:09:57,028
- All right, I'll get changed.
- Cool.

1565
01:09:58,779 --> 01:10:01,657
[inhales sharply]
Oh, I love this scene.

1566
01:10:01,740 --> 01:10:03,742
- But I can't watch this scene.
- [man yells on TV]

1567
01:10:03,826 --> 01:10:04,952
But I love this scene.

1568
01:10:12,710 --> 01:10:16,422
This is Poppy Corn,
and this is Taco Terrie.

1569
01:10:16,505 --> 01:10:19,050
- Oh, hi, Clementina.
- Oh, Paris is not home.

1570
01:10:19,133 --> 01:10:22,053
She told me I could hang out here
when I'm in the city.

1571
01:10:22,136 --> 01:10:23,887
If you want, I could watch the kids.

1572
01:10:23,971 --> 01:10:25,764
- You could go rest upstairs.
- Not upstairs.

1573
01:10:25,848 --> 01:10:29,310
- Or you could go out for a while.
- Okay. Thank you.

1574
01:10:29,393 --> 01:10:31,145
- [cell phone vibrating]
- Bye, babies.

1575
01:10:34,190 --> 01:10:35,191
Hello?

1576
01:10:35,274 --> 01:10:38,026
- [man] <i>Yes, I'm calling for Rory Gilmore.</i>
- Speaking.

1577
01:10:38,110 --> 01:10:41,614
My name is Robert Castellanos,
an attorney representing Naomi Shropshire.

1578
01:10:41,697 --> 01:10:43,949
- Yes?
<i>- This is just a courtesy call.</i>

1579
01:10:44,032 --> 01:10:46,827
My firm is preparing paperwork
you'll soon receive

1580
01:10:46,910 --> 01:10:50,123
dissolving the contract
on your book project with Ms. Shropshire.

1581
01:10:50,206 --> 01:10:52,208
- What a shock.
<i>- Excuse me?</i>

1582
01:10:52,291 --> 01:10:55,878
- May I ask why she's doing this?
- Let's just say she's unhappy.

1583
01:10:55,961 --> 01:10:58,506
Let me save you some time.
There is no contract.

1584
01:10:58,589 --> 01:11:01,217
I was doing this on spec,
so there's nothing to dissolve.

1585
01:11:01,300 --> 01:11:04,345
Ms. Shropshire would also like
all of your notes back.

1586
01:11:04,428 --> 01:11:07,515
- What notes? All she did was babble.
<i>- And Ms. Shropshire would like you to sign</i>

1587
01:11:07,598 --> 01:11:11,477
a letter waiving all rights
to the "whale and mouse" idea.

1588
01:11:11,560 --> 01:11:14,147
Fine.
It wasn't exactly the next <i>Cloud Atlas.</i>

1589
01:11:14,230 --> 01:11:18,151
- So you'll sign this?
- Yes. And it was a rabbit, not a mouse.

1590
01:11:18,234 --> 01:11:19,527
Says here it was a mouse.

1591
01:11:19,610 --> 01:11:23,030
I'll be sure to collect all my doodles
of martini glasses and hangman ropes.

1592
01:11:23,114 --> 01:11:24,990
<i>I'll get all the blank pages to you
by tomorrow.</i>

1593
01:11:25,074 --> 01:11:26,659
Just text me where to send them.

1594
01:11:27,493 --> 01:11:28,827
[sighs]

1595
01:11:28,911 --> 01:11:30,121
She's a drunk!

1596
01:11:36,001 --> 01:11:37,628
- Jim Nelson.
- [Rory] <i>Jim, hi.</i>

1597
01:11:37,711 --> 01:11:40,422
Sorry for the spontaneity here
and for calling your cell.

1598
01:11:40,506 --> 01:11:42,800
This is Rory Gilmore.
Do you have a quick second?

1599
01:11:42,883 --> 01:11:43,926
Oh, sure. What's up?

1600
01:11:44,009 --> 01:11:46,345
Give me lines,
the story that's been floating around.

1601
01:11:46,429 --> 01:11:47,805
Right, we talked about that.

1602
01:11:47,888 --> 01:11:50,266
I have a take on it.
A good one. Let me take a crack.

1603
01:11:50,349 --> 01:11:53,811
- [chuckles] I'm loving the confidence.
- I'm super confident.

1604
01:11:53,894 --> 01:11:56,897
- I don't have any money to play with here.
- This would be on spec.

1605
01:11:56,980 --> 01:11:59,733
Let me at it and I will show you
what I've got. No strings.

1606
01:11:59,817 --> 01:12:02,653
Do it. Dummy it up for me
or come in and pitch. This is great.

1607
01:12:02,736 --> 01:12:04,697
Thanks.
I'll call your office when I'm ready.

1608
01:12:04,780 --> 01:12:07,658
<i>- Talk to you later.</i>
- Bye. [sighs]

1609
01:12:07,741 --> 01:12:09,743
Okay. Okay.

1610
01:12:09,827 --> 01:12:10,828
[cell phone beeps]

1611
01:12:10,911 --> 01:12:12,955
[vocalizing]

1612
01:12:14,457 --> 01:12:15,624
Hi.

1613
01:12:15,708 --> 01:12:17,418
[Rory] <i>Hi!</i>
<i>I called you from all my phones.</i>

1614
01:12:17,501 --> 01:12:19,795
<i>- Why didn't you pick up?</i>
- I didn't recognize those numbers.

1615
01:12:19,879 --> 01:12:21,213
<i>Mom, you have my numbers.</i>

1616
01:12:21,297 --> 01:12:23,674
You have, like, 14 numbers.
I can't keep track.

1617
01:12:23,757 --> 01:12:26,093
- [phone beeps]
- One burner is still trying to reach me.

1618
01:12:26,177 --> 01:12:27,219
I'm calling to let you know

1619
01:12:27,303 --> 01:12:30,389
I won't be back tomorrow.
I'm working on a story here in the city.

1620
01:12:30,473 --> 01:12:33,684
I thought you were coming back
and then flying to London to see Naomi.

1621
01:12:33,767 --> 01:12:36,520
I'm not doing the Naomi thing anymore.
I've got a new thing.

1622
01:12:36,604 --> 01:12:38,606
<i>- So no more book?</i>
- No more book. Catch up.

1623
01:12:38,689 --> 01:12:41,400
- Crabby Rory alert.
<i>- I'm not crabby. I'm pumped.</i>

1624
01:12:41,484 --> 01:12:43,194
<i>- I'm feeling my oats.</i>
- Share the oats.

1625
01:12:43,277 --> 01:12:45,571
- It's for <i>GQ.</i>
- Oh, my God, you're at Condé Nast.

1626
01:12:45,654 --> 01:12:46,947
- No.
- Still catching up?

1627
01:12:47,031 --> 01:12:49,825
I'm gonna write a piece
that's gonna knock their socks off at <i>GQ.</i>

1628
01:12:49,909 --> 01:12:51,744
Those are people
who care about their socks.

1629
01:12:51,827 --> 01:12:54,163
They don't get them in bunches of three
at the street fair.

1630
01:12:54,247 --> 01:12:57,833
It's about lines in New York,
about the people who stand in line

1631
01:12:57,917 --> 01:13:00,294
for countless hours
for what seems like minimal payout.

1632
01:13:00,378 --> 01:13:02,755
It's about the people,
their goals, their dreams.

1633
01:13:02,838 --> 01:13:04,798
- I love this.
<i>- So do I.</i>

1634
01:13:04,882 --> 01:13:08,469
The Naomi thing was a waste of time,
but I'm just going with the flow here.

1635
01:13:08,552 --> 01:13:10,929
- It's always good to go...
<i>- Making things happen.</i>

1636
01:13:11,013 --> 01:13:13,056
Getting proactive.
It's time to turn that corner.

1637
01:13:13,140 --> 01:13:15,809
- I knew you could...
- Turning the page. New leaf here.

1638
01:13:15,893 --> 01:13:18,061
- Are you tap dancing?
- And scaring the kids a little.

1639
01:13:18,145 --> 01:13:21,232
<i>- So, you're not upset about the book?</i>
- Uh, not in the least.

1640
01:13:21,315 --> 01:13:23,484
Okay.
Well, do you want company?

1641
01:13:23,567 --> 01:13:26,820
<i>- Yes! Oh, yes!</i>
- Ha! I've been working seven-day weeks.

1642
01:13:26,904 --> 01:13:30,074
- I'd love a New York overnight.
- Company would be great. I'd love company.

1643
01:13:30,157 --> 01:13:31,492
New York, here we come.

1644
01:13:31,575 --> 01:13:33,244
- Be thinking about lines.
- Like <i>Scarface?</i>

1645
01:13:33,327 --> 01:13:34,745
<i>- Wrong lines.</i>
- I'll adjust.

1646
01:13:34,828 --> 01:13:35,829
Gotta go.

1647
01:13:37,665 --> 01:13:39,166
It's showtime!

1648
01:13:43,379 --> 01:13:46,632
- Jesus, it's early.
- Don't walk with your eyes closed.

1649
01:13:46,715 --> 01:13:50,844
Plowing into scaffolding and falling over
the Citi Bike showed me the folly of that.

1650
01:13:50,928 --> 01:13:52,095
You're gonna be on New York 1.

1651
01:13:52,179 --> 01:13:56,224
If they make me look bad, I'm gonna punch
Pat Kiernan right in the mansack.

1652
01:13:56,309 --> 01:13:59,102
- Is this Cronuts?
- This is being hailed as the new Cronut.

1653
01:13:59,186 --> 01:14:01,230
- How does the old Cronut feel?
- Threatened.

1654
01:14:01,314 --> 01:14:03,106
- What time does it open?
- Not for two hours.

1655
01:14:03,190 --> 01:14:05,734
- Holy spumoni.
- I'm gonna start talking to people.

1656
01:14:05,818 --> 01:14:08,321
These are people? They look
like meat sticks with head balls.

1657
01:14:08,404 --> 01:14:10,572
- Do you wanna find some coffee?
- Yes! Coffee.

1658
01:14:10,656 --> 01:14:12,658
That way's the zombie McDonald's.
Go the other way.

1659
01:14:12,741 --> 01:14:14,827
- I would fit in there.
- Too risky. Hit a street cart.

1660
01:14:14,910 --> 01:14:15,911
On it!

1661
01:14:16,829 --> 01:14:17,830
[sighs]

1662
01:14:18,747 --> 01:14:19,915
- Excuse me.
- Yeah.

1663
01:14:19,999 --> 01:14:22,584
I'm doing a piece for <i>GQ.</i>
Would you be willing to talk to me?

1664
01:14:22,668 --> 01:14:24,670
Sure. I definitely have time.

1665
01:14:24,753 --> 01:14:26,755
[chuckles] What brings you here today?

1666
01:14:26,839 --> 01:14:30,133
Well, I love pastry.
And I'm a big Yelper,

1667
01:14:30,217 --> 01:14:32,303
so I try to get to things
before anyone else.

1668
01:14:32,386 --> 01:14:37,099
I was one of the first to try a Cronut,
and it was kind of a religious experience.

1669
01:14:37,182 --> 01:14:39,893
I went back a couple times,
then a couple times more.

1670
01:14:39,977 --> 01:14:42,270
Now I'm always
on the hunt for the next thing,

1671
01:14:42,355 --> 01:14:46,400
which is weird, 'cause I used to be
tenaciously old-school.

1672
01:14:46,484 --> 01:14:49,362
Donut Pub, Peter Pan, Vesuvio's.

1673
01:14:49,445 --> 01:14:51,947
I would make fun of people
in lines like this,

1674
01:14:52,030 --> 01:14:56,327
but I mean, why not wait in line,
get a good treat,

1675
01:14:56,410 --> 01:14:58,787
and meet a bunch of people
that have the same...

1676
01:14:58,871 --> 01:15:00,122
- [horn honks]
- What happened?

1677
01:15:00,205 --> 01:15:01,206
[man] Don't know.

1678
01:15:01,289 --> 01:15:04,877
- You were out for a while.
- I'm just really tired. Sorry.

1679
01:15:06,086 --> 01:15:07,588
Where did you get that?

1680
01:15:07,671 --> 01:15:10,174
I went around the corner.
The chef was taking out the trash.

1681
01:15:10,257 --> 01:15:13,761
I chatted him up, and I got him
to sneak a bunch of these out to me.

1682
01:15:13,844 --> 01:15:14,970
- You can't do that.
- Why not?

1683
01:15:15,053 --> 01:15:17,139
- These people will tear you apart.
- I'm starving.

1684
01:15:17,222 --> 01:15:19,016
Hide that.
Don't let them see it.

1685
01:15:21,477 --> 01:15:23,062
- I'm gonna take a little bite.
- Me too.

1686
01:15:23,145 --> 01:15:25,230
Just a little one.
To keep my energy up.

1687
01:15:28,317 --> 01:15:32,071
- So three of you work, you're retired?
- And I'm too old to be doing this.

1688
01:15:32,154 --> 01:15:34,948
And you have three kids,
so this is a sacrifice and a pleasure.

1689
01:15:35,032 --> 01:15:37,368
- Everyone needs a hobby, right?
- Here.

1690
01:15:37,451 --> 01:15:40,245
- [man] Where'd you get a hot dog at 7:30?
- The guy had his cart.

1691
01:15:40,329 --> 01:15:42,915
It wasn't open, but I waved some bills,
danced around a little.

1692
01:15:42,998 --> 01:15:45,959
Oh, God, is it really 7:30?
[sighs] I have to go.

1693
01:15:46,043 --> 01:15:48,712
- Before you get your Cro-dough-cake?
- That's the name?

1694
01:15:48,796 --> 01:15:51,256
Breaks my heart, but my boss is in today.

1695
01:15:51,339 --> 01:15:52,550
Good luck.

1696
01:15:53,634 --> 01:15:56,387
Psst, hey, kid, let me hook you up.

1697
01:15:57,304 --> 01:15:58,305
Are you kidding?

1698
01:15:58,389 --> 01:16:00,558
- I don't kid about a Cro-dough-cake.
- Take one.

1699
01:16:00,641 --> 01:16:02,976
- Oh! Bless you. Bye.
- [chuckles]

1700
01:16:05,270 --> 01:16:06,814
What? We had extra.

1701
01:16:06,897 --> 01:16:08,982
I know there's a pecking order
for tennis shoes.

1702
01:16:09,066 --> 01:16:11,026
- Yeah, totally.
- These are out of a company in LA.

1703
01:16:11,109 --> 01:16:12,360
What else is on your wish list?

1704
01:16:12,445 --> 01:16:14,112
I'd say any of the wear-test samples.

1705
01:16:14,196 --> 01:16:17,032
Vintage but never worn.
Those are impossible to find.

1706
01:16:17,116 --> 01:16:20,202
My uncle actually has a pair
of the original black and red Jordan 1s

1707
01:16:20,285 --> 01:16:21,328
with the tag still on them.

1708
01:16:21,412 --> 01:16:23,956
- Right, so these aren't for wearing.
- No way.

1709
01:16:24,039 --> 01:16:25,916
Ugh, boy, does it smell
like pot over here.

1710
01:16:25,999 --> 01:16:27,751
- Welcome back.
- Seriously, around the corner,

1711
01:16:27,835 --> 01:16:29,920
it was like I bumped
into a nine-foot joint.

1712
01:16:30,003 --> 01:16:32,005
People in this line
would eat that other line.

1713
01:16:32,089 --> 01:16:33,340
- What do you have there?
- Shoes.

1714
01:16:33,424 --> 01:16:35,258
- What shoes?
- The ones everyone's waiting for.

1715
01:16:35,342 --> 01:16:37,260
They're pretty cool.
I think they light up.

1716
01:16:37,344 --> 01:16:38,345
How did you get those?

1717
01:16:38,429 --> 01:16:41,139
Marcy, the girl I gave
the Cro-dough-cake to, works there.

1718
01:16:41,223 --> 01:16:42,641
- [sighs] Of course.
- [chuckles]

1719
01:16:43,976 --> 01:16:45,894
[Rory] Excuse me,
I'm working on a story for <i>GQ </i>today.

1720
01:16:47,104 --> 01:16:49,690
- Is this our next spot?
- This was not on the agenda.

1721
01:16:49,773 --> 01:16:52,317
- We just happened on this line?
- Let's find out what it's for.

1722
01:16:52,400 --> 01:16:54,862
- Excuse me, what are you waiting for?
- I don't know.

1723
01:16:54,945 --> 01:16:57,156
- [Rory] Mystery?
- [Lorelai] Definitely. Here's the front.

1724
01:16:57,239 --> 01:16:59,074
[Rory] Hey,
so what are you guys in line for?

1725
01:16:59,157 --> 01:17:01,409
Nothing. We're just eating lunch.

1726
01:17:02,995 --> 01:17:05,873
- They're not even waiting for stuff.
- Should we tell them?

1727
01:17:05,956 --> 01:17:07,040
Nah.

1728
01:17:07,124 --> 01:17:10,461
[Lorelai laughs]
Hey, these shoes are very comfortable.

1729
01:17:14,632 --> 01:17:16,341
So, what is this again?

1730
01:17:16,425 --> 01:17:17,801
- Sad geeks?
- Limited-edition toys.

1731
01:17:17,885 --> 01:17:20,303
- Do you wanna say that a little louder?
- [softly] Sorry.

1732
01:17:20,387 --> 01:17:23,015
- It's video games, movie tie-in stuff.
- There's nothing here I want.

1733
01:17:23,098 --> 01:17:24,892
Well, you came to hang out
with me.

1734
01:17:24,975 --> 01:17:27,352
- Mommy's feet are sore.
- Mommy's been strong today.

1735
01:17:27,435 --> 01:17:29,605
- Mommy is tiring.
- Head back to the hotel, Mommy.

1736
01:17:29,688 --> 01:17:31,857
- Really?
- Yes, you were a big girl today.

1737
01:17:31,940 --> 01:17:32,983
I have some work to do.

1738
01:17:33,066 --> 01:17:35,193
Go do it, and take a bath
and order room service.

1739
01:17:35,277 --> 01:17:36,737
- I won't be long.
- Okay, good.

1740
01:17:36,820 --> 01:17:38,864
- Ooh, nice costumes.
- Thanks.

1741
01:17:45,663 --> 01:17:47,706
[door opens and closes]

1742
01:17:48,624 --> 01:17:50,626
Hi. Did I fall asleep?

1743
01:17:50,709 --> 01:17:52,377
I guess I fell asleep. [chuckles]

1744
01:17:52,460 --> 01:17:56,590
Oh, great hotel. Great bed.
No Lifetime channel.

1745
01:17:56,674 --> 01:17:59,467
Good room service, though.
Twenty-four hours.

1746
01:17:59,552 --> 01:18:02,137
You hungry?
Wow, you look weird. What's wrong?

1747
01:18:02,763 --> 01:18:03,806
I slept with a Wookiee!

1748
01:18:04,515 --> 01:18:06,850
- Come again?
- I slept with a Wookiee.

1749
01:18:06,934 --> 01:18:08,435
- [turns TV off]
- [groans softly]

1750
01:18:08,519 --> 01:18:10,312
- You slept with a...
- Wookiee! Wookiee!

1751
01:18:10,395 --> 01:18:12,606
I slept with a Wookiee!
Don't make me keep saying it.

1752
01:18:12,690 --> 01:18:14,191
I'm sorry. I'm not getting this.

1753
01:18:14,274 --> 01:18:17,069
- I was in that collectibles line.
- Nothing good can follow that.

1754
01:18:17,152 --> 01:18:20,948
[sighs] And I was interviewing people,
and then, you know, the line moved up,

1755
01:18:21,031 --> 01:18:22,825
and I kind of bonded with this one group,

1756
01:18:22,908 --> 01:18:24,910
and I tagged along with them
to P.J. Clarke's.

1757
01:18:24,993 --> 01:18:26,745
We had burgers, and drinks,
and more drinks,

1758
01:18:26,829 --> 01:18:28,914
- and then there was this guy...
- The Wookiee?

1759
01:18:28,997 --> 01:18:30,749
A guy dressed in a Wookiee costume.

1760
01:18:30,833 --> 01:18:32,417
- He wasn't a Wookiee.
- Got it. Go on.

1761
01:18:32,500 --> 01:18:35,045
He was nice.
I was laughing. He was laughing.

1762
01:18:35,128 --> 01:18:37,089
They have that very deep laugh.

1763
01:18:37,172 --> 01:18:38,882
- He was laughing in his own voice.
- Mmm.

1764
01:18:38,966 --> 01:18:40,551
He invited me back to his place.

1765
01:18:40,634 --> 01:18:42,678
And if you say,
"Did you take the Millennium Falcon?"

1766
01:18:42,761 --> 01:18:44,179
- I'll smack you.
- I said nothing.

1767
01:18:44,262 --> 01:18:46,181
- I can't believe this.
- Calm down...

1768
01:18:46,264 --> 01:18:49,226
[sighs] A one-night stand.
I just had a one-night stand. My first.

1769
01:18:49,309 --> 01:18:51,269
It's a one-night stand
if you don't see him again.

1770
01:18:51,353 --> 01:18:53,939
- Will you see him again?
- He was wearing a Wookiee costume.

1771
01:18:54,022 --> 01:18:57,150
- No, I won't see him again.
- That seems a little harsh.

1772
01:18:57,234 --> 01:18:58,235
A one-night stand.

1773
01:18:58,318 --> 01:19:00,821
I'm 32, and I'm only now having
a one-night stand?

1774
01:19:00,904 --> 01:19:02,114
It's your first one, huh?

1775
01:19:02,197 --> 01:19:03,198
- Yes.
- Wow.

1776
01:19:03,281 --> 01:19:05,158
- Why?
- I thought that's what college was for.

1777
01:19:05,242 --> 01:19:08,078
Exactly. I'm behind.
I mean, how many have you had?

1778
01:19:08,161 --> 01:19:09,454
- Wookiees?
- One-night stands.

1779
01:19:09,537 --> 01:19:10,664
- Oh. None.
- None?

1780
01:19:10,748 --> 01:19:12,374
- Yeah, none.
- How can that be?

1781
01:19:12,457 --> 01:19:16,253
Well, mom at 16, for starters.
Hot in <i>Outlander,</i> but elsewhere...

1782
01:19:16,336 --> 01:19:19,715
And I had you, and rules,
and work, and rules.

1783
01:19:19,798 --> 01:19:21,842
I had a couple three-night stands,
if that helps.

1784
01:19:21,925 --> 01:19:23,886
Oh, perfect.
I'm behind on everything.

1785
01:19:23,969 --> 01:19:25,679
- No, you're not.
- [scoffs] Really?

1786
01:19:25,763 --> 01:19:27,514
I have no career, no apartment,

1787
01:19:27,598 --> 01:19:30,142
but boy, oh boy,
can I bang out a one-night stand.

1788
01:19:30,225 --> 01:19:32,978
- You're too hard on yourself.
- My love life is a disaster.

1789
01:19:33,061 --> 01:19:34,479
Did you not break up with Pete yet?

1790
01:19:34,563 --> 01:19:36,940
I'm not talking about him.
I'm talking about...

1791
01:19:37,440 --> 01:19:38,609
Who?

1792
01:19:38,692 --> 01:19:40,778
- You know.
- No, who?

1793
01:19:40,861 --> 01:19:42,821
- You know.
- No, I don't know.

1794
01:19:42,905 --> 01:19:44,823
- Logan.
- Huntzberger?

1795
01:19:45,407 --> 01:19:47,451
- You really didn't know?
- No. Since when?

1796
01:19:47,534 --> 01:19:49,327
Whenever I'm in London,
I stay with him.

1797
01:19:49,411 --> 01:19:52,164
- So there's no Didi?
- He's Didi.

1798
01:19:52,247 --> 01:19:53,791
Logan Huntzberger. [scoffs]

1799
01:19:53,874 --> 01:19:56,251
I thought he was engaged
to that French heiress.

1800
01:19:56,752 --> 01:19:58,629
- He is.
- Oh.

1801
01:19:58,712 --> 01:20:00,714
They don't live together.
She lives in Paris.

1802
01:20:00,798 --> 01:20:03,801
- But they're engaged.
- [sighs] Yes.

1803
01:20:03,884 --> 01:20:06,136
- And they're getting married.
- Yes.

1804
01:20:06,219 --> 01:20:09,347
[takes deep breath] Well,
if it makes you feel any better,

1805
01:20:09,431 --> 01:20:11,016
that's sluttier than a one-night stand.

1806
01:20:11,099 --> 01:20:12,893
- That helps. Thanks.
- Does Patrick know?

1807
01:20:12,976 --> 01:20:16,354
Paul! Paul! His name is Paul!
And he doesn't know.

1808
01:20:16,438 --> 01:20:17,439
All right, calm down.

1809
01:20:17,522 --> 01:20:20,150
I'm blowing everything.
My life, my career...

1810
01:20:20,233 --> 01:20:23,862
I'm flailing, and I don't have
a plan, or a list, or a clue.

1811
01:20:23,946 --> 01:20:24,988
[stammers] This is karma.

1812
01:20:25,072 --> 01:20:27,449
This is why Condé Nast
will not follow up with me.

1813
01:20:27,532 --> 01:20:29,910
They know failure
when it walks in the door.

1814
01:20:29,993 --> 01:20:33,455
I never found my lucky outfit.
I needed it. It gives me confidence.

1815
01:20:33,538 --> 01:20:35,874
- What is your lucky outfit?
- Red dress, full skirt.

1816
01:20:35,958 --> 01:20:38,794
- [gasps] That's in my closet.
- Are you kidding me?

1817
01:20:38,877 --> 01:20:40,628
No! It looks cute with boots.

1818
01:20:40,713 --> 01:20:43,506
Mom, you knew
I was looking for that outfit.

1819
01:20:43,590 --> 01:20:45,342
Really? That red?
It'll wash you out.

1820
01:20:45,425 --> 01:20:47,635
So, not only
did you steal my lucky outfit,

1821
01:20:47,720 --> 01:20:50,764
you've now ruined the image
I had of me in my outfit.

1822
01:20:50,848 --> 01:20:51,974
Thanks a lot.

1823
01:20:52,725 --> 01:20:54,142
Come here. Sit.

1824
01:20:56,937 --> 01:20:58,814
What is happening here?

1825
01:20:58,897 --> 01:21:00,398
This isn't you.

1826
01:21:00,482 --> 01:21:01,942
Panicking, lying...

1827
01:21:02,025 --> 01:21:04,527
- I didn't lie.
- Ah, you didn't tell me about Logan.

1828
01:21:04,611 --> 01:21:07,030
- What's with not telling me about stuff?
- I don't know.

1829
01:21:07,114 --> 01:21:10,242
- Why didn't you tell me about Logan?
- I don't know. I just...

1830
01:21:10,325 --> 01:21:13,120
I'm feeling very lost these days.

1831
01:21:13,203 --> 01:21:15,872
This whole past year,
it's like the ground's made of straw.

1832
01:21:15,956 --> 01:21:17,415
I'm just gonna fall through.

1833
01:21:17,499 --> 01:21:19,793
Look, life has been
pretty good to you so far.

1834
01:21:19,877 --> 01:21:22,921
It was your turn for a few curveballs.
Peaks and valleys, kid.

1835
01:21:23,005 --> 01:21:24,631
The older you get, the more you have.

1836
01:21:24,715 --> 01:21:26,549
That whole line story was so stupid.

1837
01:21:26,633 --> 01:21:28,761
I did it because
they thought it was interesting.

1838
01:21:28,844 --> 01:21:31,096
I didn't have a beat on it.
I didn't feel it.

1839
01:21:31,179 --> 01:21:34,057
I'm just a big, fat,
Wookiee-humping loser with no future.

1840
01:21:34,141 --> 01:21:37,936
Wait. What about that website?
The one that's been after you forever,

1841
01:21:38,020 --> 01:21:39,687
begging you to come work for them?

1842
01:21:39,771 --> 01:21:41,773
- BrendaBlabs?
- <i>SandeeSays</i>.

1843
01:21:41,857 --> 01:21:42,858
Go there.

1844
01:21:42,941 --> 01:21:44,276
- Have you seen it?
- Who cares?

1845
01:21:44,359 --> 01:21:46,528
Go. Work. Be wanted.
Be adored.

1846
01:21:46,611 --> 01:21:48,864
So it's not the <i>Washington Post.</i>
You're young.

1847
01:21:48,947 --> 01:21:50,073
I'm not so young.

1848
01:21:50,157 --> 01:21:52,492
Hey! I'm young. You're young.
Case closed.

1849
01:21:52,575 --> 01:21:54,745
- Yeah.
- Give them a call.

1850
01:21:54,828 --> 01:21:56,872
You haven't had
anything steady in forever.

1851
01:21:56,955 --> 01:21:58,665
Stay in one place for a while.

1852
01:21:58,749 --> 01:22:02,127
Plus they've been stalking you.
That feels good a little, doesn't it?

1853
01:22:02,710 --> 01:22:05,463
[sighs] Yeah. It's flattering.

1854
01:22:05,547 --> 01:22:07,466
So, give them a call.

1855
01:22:07,966 --> 01:22:11,303
- I will give them a call.
- Want me to order some comfort food?

1856
01:22:11,386 --> 01:22:14,306
Some pot roast, mashed potatoes,
banana split?

1857
01:22:14,389 --> 01:22:15,723
Sure.

1858
01:22:15,808 --> 01:22:18,476
I'm gonna take a shower,
get the Wookiee smell off me.

1859
01:22:18,560 --> 01:22:20,813
[gasps] Wait, seriously.
Did he leave the outfit on?

1860
01:22:21,688 --> 01:22:23,440
That's a conversation for another day.

1861
01:22:23,523 --> 01:22:24,691
Can that day be tomorrow?

1862
01:22:24,775 --> 01:22:27,861
Don't leave me and my imagination
alone with that for too long!

1863
01:22:27,945 --> 01:22:29,947
- [Rory] Order!
- [door closes]

1864
01:22:30,030 --> 01:22:31,031
[sighs]

1865
01:22:31,782 --> 01:22:33,450
Here we are, the nerve center.

1866
01:22:33,533 --> 01:22:36,578
- Very cool. Simple.
- Oh, we don't decorate much.

1867
01:22:36,661 --> 01:22:39,039
We're expanding so fast,
there's no reason to.

1868
01:22:39,122 --> 01:22:40,707
We'll outgrow this place in a month.

1869
01:22:40,791 --> 01:22:42,960
I don't waste money.
My CFO appreciates it.

1870
01:22:43,043 --> 01:22:45,212
- Say hello to her. This is Patrice.
- Hi, Patrice.

1871
01:22:45,295 --> 01:22:47,088
Rory Gilmore.
The one I was telling you about.

1872
01:22:47,172 --> 01:22:49,591
We have no individual offices.
Not even me.

1873
01:22:49,674 --> 01:22:50,926
We work best in a hive,

1874
01:22:51,009 --> 01:22:53,053
buzzing around each other,
making word honey.

1875
01:22:53,136 --> 01:22:54,179
Interesting.

1876
01:22:54,262 --> 01:22:57,557
When you come in, you grab
the nearest spot at the communal table.

1877
01:22:57,640 --> 01:23:00,643
- No hierarchy.
- And together we storm the barricades.

1878
01:23:00,727 --> 01:23:01,728
Exactly.

1879
01:23:01,812 --> 01:23:04,857
Uh, so I didn't know I'd be getting
a tour from Sandee herself.

1880
01:23:04,940 --> 01:23:06,399
I thought my first stop would be HR.

1881
01:23:06,483 --> 01:23:08,819
Oh, HR still means homeroom
to half the peeps here.

1882
01:23:08,902 --> 01:23:10,695
We don't even have it.
Come, sit.

1883
01:23:11,529 --> 01:23:13,240
- Okay.
- Need Red Bull.

1884
01:23:13,323 --> 01:23:16,368
- So, let's do this.
- Yes.

1885
01:23:16,451 --> 01:23:18,745
That is why I'm here.
Should I have brought my laptop?

1886
01:23:18,829 --> 01:23:20,163
Well, first things first.

1887
01:23:20,247 --> 01:23:23,876
If I take a chance on Rory Gilmore,
what am I getting?

1888
01:23:23,959 --> 01:23:26,003
- What?
- If I hire you,

1889
01:23:26,086 --> 01:23:28,839
tell me what Rory Gilmore
would write about for <i>SandeeSays</i>.

1890
01:23:29,631 --> 01:23:31,341
Oh. If I worked here?

1891
01:23:31,424 --> 01:23:32,843
Sell me.

1892
01:23:33,635 --> 01:23:36,346
Sell? Okay, we're selling. Um...

1893
01:23:36,429 --> 01:23:38,765
- That's a totally different outfit.
- Hmm?

1894
01:23:38,849 --> 01:23:41,684
Um, if I worked here,
you'd be getting the person

1895
01:23:41,768 --> 01:23:43,561
who wrote
the <i>New Yorker</i> article you liked.

1896
01:23:43,645 --> 01:23:46,523
Yeah, but that's the <i>New Yorker.</i>
We're not the <i>New Yorker.</i>

1897
01:23:46,606 --> 01:23:48,483
Look around, everyone's got their hair.

1898
01:23:48,566 --> 01:23:50,235
[chuckling] Oh, right.

1899
01:23:50,318 --> 01:23:53,906
Um, sorry.
I just didn't have a pitch prepared.

1900
01:23:53,989 --> 01:23:56,283
That's a little weird.
Thought you'd bring some ideas.

1901
01:23:56,366 --> 01:23:58,618
Don't get me wrong. I have ideas.

1902
01:23:59,286 --> 01:24:00,287
Like?

1903
01:24:01,704 --> 01:24:06,626
Um, stuff about the world, uh...
[chuckles] culture...

1904
01:24:06,709 --> 01:24:08,336
Pretty generic.
You got anything specific?

1905
01:24:08,420 --> 01:24:10,130
- You want specifics.
- I'd love some.

1906
01:24:10,213 --> 01:24:11,339
Well, let's see.

1907
01:24:11,423 --> 01:24:16,053
There could be something in, um,
girls who go to Comic-Con type things

1908
01:24:16,136 --> 01:24:18,013
and sleep with characters.

1909
01:24:18,096 --> 01:24:19,681
Character-loving girls.

1910
01:24:19,764 --> 01:24:21,516
That sounds obscure.
Very made-up.

1911
01:24:21,599 --> 01:24:22,893
Yes, it does.

1912
01:24:22,976 --> 01:24:25,187
So you're talking about loser girls.

1913
01:24:25,270 --> 01:24:27,730
Like, they get drunk
and they do something stupid.

1914
01:24:27,814 --> 01:24:29,733
We've done that story a bunch of times.

1915
01:24:29,816 --> 01:24:31,818
Different takes on it.
I thought you knew our site.

1916
01:24:31,902 --> 01:24:35,572
Oh, I do. And you're right.
I wouldn't want to repeat that.

1917
01:24:41,078 --> 01:24:42,120
Oh, shoot.

1918
01:24:42,203 --> 01:24:44,956
Ugh, I've just been called
into an emergency meeting.

1919
01:24:46,124 --> 01:24:48,585
- [elevator bell dings]
- [cell phone vibrates]

1920
01:24:48,668 --> 01:24:51,338
- Hello?
<i>- So, hi, it's Sandee.</i>

1921
01:24:51,421 --> 01:24:52,755
Hello.

1922
01:24:52,839 --> 01:24:54,716
Really appreciate you coming in
for the job,

1923
01:24:54,799 --> 01:24:56,468
but I've decided
we're gonna go internal.

1924
01:24:56,551 --> 01:24:57,427
What?

1925
01:24:57,510 --> 01:25:00,805
On the staff writing job, we're going
with one of our veterans, Kaitlynn.

1926
01:25:00,888 --> 01:25:03,558
- She's been here two months.
- But it's an editing job.

1927
01:25:03,641 --> 01:25:06,394
<i>Oh, wow, no.
We're really picky about those.</i>

1928
01:25:06,478 --> 01:25:09,356
- You basically promised me the job.
- You were a candidate.

1929
01:25:09,439 --> 01:25:11,900
What about "we gotta have
Rory Gilmore's voice at <i>SandeeSays</i>"?

1930
01:25:11,984 --> 01:25:15,153
- You've been saying that for a year.
- I think Kaitlynn's going to be that.

1931
01:25:15,236 --> 01:25:17,614
Kaitlynn is going to be the voice
of Rory Gilmore?

1932
01:25:17,697 --> 01:25:19,491
- Are you high?
- Don't be hostile.

1933
01:25:19,574 --> 01:25:22,619
- I'm a little pissed here.
- I get it. You got your hopes up.

1934
01:25:22,702 --> 01:25:25,747
No, you got my hopes up.
For a job that I didn't even want.

1935
01:25:25,830 --> 01:25:27,165
<i>Oh, real nice.</i>

1936
01:25:27,249 --> 01:25:30,168
- So you just felt like wasting my time.
- No, you wasted my time.

1937
01:25:30,252 --> 01:25:33,046
Hey, I'm the CEO here.
My time's a little more valuable.

1938
01:25:33,130 --> 01:25:34,172
And another thing.

1939
01:25:34,256 --> 01:25:36,674
It's weird that you have
three different cell numbers.

1940
01:25:36,758 --> 01:25:39,677
- Super weird.
- It's not. One is a work-only phone.

1941
01:25:39,761 --> 01:25:41,930
The other's family-only,
except when I'm in Stars Hollow

1942
01:25:42,014 --> 01:25:44,641
and there's no reception,
so I use the family phone for work.

1943
01:25:44,724 --> 01:25:45,976
The other one is for friends,

1944
01:25:46,059 --> 01:25:49,312
and work when it's overcast
in Stars Hollow and the others don't work!

1945
01:25:49,396 --> 01:25:52,524
- Get a better phone! A better attitude!
- Get a better office! A better life!

1946
01:25:52,607 --> 01:25:55,527
- Get lost!
- Get... shorty!

1947
01:26:08,248 --> 01:26:10,542
- [indistinct chatter on TV]
- [door opens]

1948
01:26:12,252 --> 01:26:13,545
[Rory panting]

1949
01:26:14,754 --> 01:26:16,173
Moving home!

1950
01:26:19,259 --> 01:26:21,886
♪ <i>Nothing's impossible I have found</i> ♪

1951
01:26:21,970 --> 01:26:23,888
♪ <i>When my chin is on the ground </i>♪

1952
01:26:23,972 --> 01:26:29,269
♪<i> I pick myself up, dust myself off</i>
<i>Start all over again</i> ♪

1953
01:26:29,352 --> 01:26:31,521
♪ <i>Don't lose your confidence</i>
<i>If you slip</i> ♪

1954
01:26:31,604 --> 01:26:35,525
♪ <i>Be grateful for a pleasant trip</i>
<i>And pick yourself up</i> ♪

1955
01:26:37,610 --> 01:26:41,614
♪ <i>Welcome to our world</i>
<i>Of food and fun</i> ♪

1956
01:26:41,698 --> 01:26:45,452
♪ <i>Welcome, welcome, everyone</i> ♪

1957
01:26:45,535 --> 01:26:49,205
♪ <i>Food for all and all for fun</i> ♪

1958
01:26:49,289 --> 01:26:52,000
♪<i> Welcome, everyone</i> ♪

1959
01:26:53,168 --> 01:26:56,546
♪ <i>Welcome to our world</i>
<i>Of food and fun</i> ♪

1960
01:26:56,629 --> 01:27:00,633
♪ <i>Welcome, welcome, everyone</i> ♪

1961
01:27:00,717 --> 01:27:04,721
♪ <i>Food for all and all for fun</i> ♪

1962
01:27:04,804 --> 01:27:07,474
♪<i> Welcome, everyone</i> ♪

1963
01:27:08,558 --> 01:27:12,896
♪ <i>Welcome to our world</i> ♪

1964
01:27:12,979 --> 01:27:18,985
♪ <i>Of food and fun and food</i> ♪

1965
01:27:19,778 --> 01:27:23,073
♪<i> Welcome, everyone</i> ♪

1966
01:27:38,588 --> 01:27:42,592
♪ <i>Welcome to our world</i>
<i>Of food and fun</i> ♪

1967
01:27:42,675 --> 01:27:46,596
♪ <i>Welcome, welcome, everyone</i> ♪

1968
01:27:46,679 --> 01:27:50,433
♪ <i>Food for all and all for fun</i> ♪

1969
01:27:50,517 --> 01:27:53,812
♪<i> Welcome, everyone</i> ♪

1970
01:27:54,489 --> 01:27:59,489
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com