(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(GRUNTING)
(CROWD CHEERING)
MAN 1: Get in there! Come on!
(LION SNARLING)
MAN 2: Get back to work!
FALCO: It looked like just another day at the games, didn't it, Falco?
But then in this Rome, things were rarely what they seemed,
and I was never big on the games.
Something about blood sports just troubled me.
Especially if it was my blood someone wanted to sport with.
- MAN: No! No! - There he is.
Now, these were the first games sponsored by our latest emperor, Vespasian Caesar.
And it was a safe bet the whole city would turn out for a rare glimpse of him
and the power that would ruled their lives for decades,
or maybe only for days.
No one was taking bets on that one yet,
at least not the pair touting me.
Get out of the way.
I'm down here to see Senator Garrus.
Rumor has it he likes to inspect his stock before they fight.
And I'll move when it suits me, Thracian.
It'll suit you now.
You break that lift, I get whipped for one week.
And don't call me "Thracian".
- Helmet! - Senator Garrus?
On his way to the box by now.
Sword.
Go.
(TRUMPETS HERALDING)
(CROWD CHEERING)
FALCO: I liked treading into the upper classes even less than I liked gladiators.
But I'd had a bad run of luck at the chariot races lately,
and from the looks of my following there,
it wasn't about to get any better.
No, like it or not, Falco, it was definitely time
to collect on some debts of your own.
Hail, Garrus Libatus! The day is honored by your presence.
Who in Juno's name is that?
Oh, that's Falco. You remember him, Garrus.
He was that private informer you hired
to recover me from those Salacian pirates.
Justus fights like a god, doesn't he?
Justus?
Oh, yeah. A regular Mars made flesh.
And may I add that the Lady Livia has a keen eye for combat?
Lady Livia has a keen eye for far too many things.
And considering what it costs me,
it would've been cheaper to have let the pirates keep her.
At least they had what it took to keep me occupied.
I'll wager they all got to occupy you.
Look, while we're on the subject of finance,
there's just the small matter of my fee, which is still outstanding.
Just a slight oversight by your accountant, no doubt, but...
Money, and more money.
Great Jupiter's loins! You sound like our new Caesar over there, Vespasian.
Is that all Rome thinks about these days?
It's all you have any passion for!
That's different, I'm a senator.
Do you know he has put a tax on owning more than 100 gladiators?
Inconceivable.
I swear the man's trying to erase the Roman deficit,
and ruin me in the process!
LIVIA: Then why not give some of them to me?
That way, they stay in the household
and you can avoid paying the taxes altogether.
I wouldn't mind taking Justus down there off your hands.
Providing he lives, of course.
How very clever of you, Livia, my pet.
But tell me, just what would you want to do with him?
Mmm...
I'll leave you to the games.
But if you could send a messenger around with a balance,
then your name would be praised in places you never dreamed of.
FALCO: Uh-oh. What's this?
Soldiers? Now two? Oh, perfect.
Curse me, but it was him!
The Emperor!
And one cross look from that face
could crush a life or a whole nation
with all the force of a living god.
I knew. I once locked eyes with an emperor,
and just for that he had me hunted till the day he died.
The eyes, Falco! Watch the eyes!
The Emperor has arrived?
He awaits you thus, Praetor.
So much for the corridors of power.
But I'll take a noisy alley anytime, thank you.
There he is.
It appears we have a victor, Caesar.
- Rome awaits your pleasure. - (ABSENT-MINDEDLY) Mmm.
You know, Pertinax, this accounting provides may figures,
except how much this week of games is costing us.
Two million sesterces and change, Caesar.
(INCREDULOUSLY) Two million sesterces?
For games?
FALCO: There it was, another fighter
sacrificed on the altar of Rome's amusement.
I wonder if that was Justus.
No, better to just forget those names, Falco.
Gladiators are nothing but trouble.
And you didn't need to be Aristotle to see somebody had just gone to a lot of it
to take me for a ride.
I considered fighting my way out,
but the odds were I'd lose and be carted off in his big sedan anyway,
with a broken jaw or worse.
Up!
- Forward! - FALCO: You know,
there are laws in the Republic against this sort of thing.
I thought a ride home from the games might give us a chance to talk in private.
If this is about work, my office is in the public baths.
So I've heard. But then I've never taken a bath in public.
- Is it fun? - Not compared with being cornered
like some Bithynian bull and boxed in here for sale.
If my men were rude in extending that invitation, please tell me,
and I'll have their throats cut for you.
Thank you, but I think I've seen enough blood to make my morning.
Then it won't offend you to listen.
That depends on what you've got to say.
I need to find someone.
Then go tell the magistrate.
Or better yet, have him call out the Praetorian Guard.
No, I need this done quietly. And that means only someone like you can do it.
And if someone like me were interested, which I'm not,
who exactly would I be quietly looking for?
A young man. His name is Cato.
We arranged to meet the other night, but he never arrived.
- I need to know why. - I don't look for lazy lovers.
And I don't pay to have them found.
My rate's 150 sesterces a day plus expenses.
You rate is 100 a day.
I'll pay you 200, plus a cash advance of six days.
Have we finished talking about money now?
Possibly. But there are other things I'd need to know,
starting with your name.
From what I hear, you need the extra 100 a day
far more than you need to know my name.
So let's just leave it at Helena for now, shall we?
DRIVER: Halt!
It appears we've arrived.
I'll have the money sent over to your office
along with a small bust of Cato, so you'll know his likeness.
I haven't said I'll take the job.
You haven't said you won't.
And Falco, thank you for sparing the necks of my men.
But cross me in this and I won't be as generous with yours.
FALCO: "Let's leave it at Helena for now," eh?
She was the essence of Rome itself.
Beautiful, rich, and very dangerous.
But then, turning down 200 sesterces a day...
So which to choose?
An omen might be handy now, some sign to point the way.
(CLATTERING)
Finally! Why should I worry myself warning you
if you're too damn drunk to take notice?
I wasn't drunk, Lenia. I was contemplating.
Well, you better start contemplating the pair
that's on their way up to see you now.
Because one of them's big enough to stand across the harbor
and pee all the way to the palace!
FALCO: The landlord!
I'd been dodging his goons, not to mention the rent, for months now.
And if he couldn't get anything out of my pocket,
I knew he'd be just as glad to have some cheap gladiator pound it out off my hide.
FALCO: (SHOUTING ANGRILY) It doesn't matter to me,
Falco, if you are dying of leprosy!
You can rot in Hades, for all I care!
But before you go, you'll pay me every cent you owe me,
or my name is not Germanicus Festus!
(COUGHING DRAMATICALLY)
Ugh!
You looking for Falco?
You'll find him in there, or what's left of him. I wouldn't get too close.
He's got the Big L, poor bastard. Ooh!
- It's you again! - Says who?
Since you already know this Falco, maybe you should tell him
that we've been sent by Senator Garrus to pay his bill.
Pay his bill?
What are you talking about?
He's paying me off with a gladiator?
That trans-Tiberian snake. Our deal was for cash!
It's not for you, Master Germanicus. He belongs to Falco now.
- This is Falco. - You're damn right it is.
And this Marcus Didius Falco
does not buy, sell or own anyone,
especially gladiators.
But this is Justus. Everyone comes to see him fight.
No, I'll tell you what this is.
This is a tax shelter.
Or a nasty ploy to keep him away from his prowling wife, Livia.
Either way, I'm having no part of it.
Take him back!
I... I can't.
Damn it, boy! You're a slave, aren't you?
I'm ordering you to take him back!
Don't beat me, Master Falco, I beg you,
but it's too late now. Master Garrus has already gone.
Gone? Gone where?
To the estate in the country for the grape harvest.
But he should be back in a month or so.
(SHOUTING) A month?
And what am I supposed to do with this beast for a month?
What a slum!
What'd you say, Thracian?
I said, better to die with honor in the arena this morning
than to end up in a place like this!
(ENUNCIATING) And don't call me "Thracian."
FALCO: If this was the omen I'd asked for,
then I was sorry I'd asked.
- Good fight, Justus! - Nice, Justus.
WOMAN: Justus! MAN: Hail Justus!
- Justus! - Justus!
You are working in a bath house?
I do not work in a bath house!
I have an office here. It's a little arrangement
I have with the local magistrate for keeping an eye on his mistress.
Something you wouldn't understand.
Niobe!
NIOBE: Get off! MAN: Oh!
Mesopotamians. They're all the same.
See a Nubian, think they own her!
Yeah, well, I suspect you've cleansed him of that idea.
- Now, talk to me, please. - Your mother wants to see you.
- (GROANS) -One of your nephews run away from home again.
- Curio, I think. - Oh, Hades!
And Flavius sent a tip on today's chariots.
Go for the Blues in the fourth race.
Oh, and then there's a swell pair
who've been lurking in the corner since we opened.
Something tells me they're waiting for you to show up.
Oh, them. They're here to give me 1,200 sesterces in cash.
Mmm-hmm. And I'm Cleopatra, queen of the Nile.
More likely they're here to slash you open.
No, that's next time.
Still, I don't think a bit of size in the room would hurt.
Hey, Justus! This way.
Justus?
Great mother of Isis! Justus!
(NIOBE GIGGLING)
You're Justus! And you're here!
I never miss you fights. Never.
Uh, Drago, Savilla, Triton! I saw you kill them all.
And yesterday, when Ajax caught you with his net,
I thought I would die!
But the way you sprang back, incredible!
Oh, Falco, I can't believe it!
This is Justus!
Yes, I've heard, Niobe.
He fights like a god.
Snores like one, too, which is another reason why I'm not keeping him.
Not keeping him? You talk like you own him.
That's right. I now own the most feared fighter in the whole of Rome.
So if you motherless curs have some business here,
I suggest you attend to it pretty quick.
You go and tell your Lady Helena I'll consider her offer.
I said go.
I need you to follow those two, find out which house they belong to.
Then I'll have some idea of who I'm up against here.
You mist have had some night!
Take what I owe you, and put another hundred or so on...
The Blues in the fourth race. But I don't understand...
I'll explain later. Now go, girl! Go!
(GIGGLES)
FALCO: So this was the Cato she wanted me to find, eh?
He didn't look like he was worth 1,200 sesterces.
But then who does?
The truth was, I'd already decided not to take the job,
whatever that Helena was willing to pay for him.
But the cash would tide me over,
at least until I could hand this behemoth back to Garrus
or my luck improved at the chariot races.
- (MEN GRUNTING) - MAN: Pull, damn you! Keep going!
Do it, slave! Now pull!
- Now where did I put that... - Looking for this?
No, I wasn't.
And I'll thank you for keeping your big mitts off my business, understand?
It's your nephew, isn't it?
Considering the size of my family, anything's possible.
No, this is doubtless some high-born brat
with too much time, too much money
and just enough sense to make a mess of both of them.
And you're not looking for him?
Not if I can help it, no.
And you're getting paid for this?
I know it lacks the simplicity of butchering someone for sport.
I don't fight for sport.
And I don't go looking for more trouble than I need.
So what do you do if you're not dying of leprosy?
I try not to die of anything else,
like asking questions that are better left unanswered.
Nero.
Two-thumbs-down emperor, every single time.
- You knew him? - Worse.
He knew me.
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
It's Falco.
(WOMEN GASPING)
WOMEN: Justus! WOMAN: Hi, Justus!
Falco, you rude Republican.
We've had three emperors since last you came to see me.
My angel Cornelia, let's not talk emperors.
I just saw the ghost of one haunting your neighborhood
and I can still feel his eyes on me.
And who is that?
- A long story. - I can't wait to hear it.
Another time. Right now, I need a small favor and a few quick answers.
(INAUDIBLE)
I'll see to it the word gets out on your nephew.
And don't worry, if he's anywhere on the streets of Rome,
we'll know it by nightfall.
The palace spies would envy your reach, Cornelia.
Are you sure you don't mind looking after Colossus here?
I'd take him to my mother's place,
but knowing her, she'd want to adopt him into the family.
(CHUCKLES)
With what my girls have to face most nights,
I should be paying you for the privilege.
Oh, but I do miss you, Falco.
And right now, I'd kill for a decent conversation with a man
who wasn't always trying to impress me with his least impressive parts.
If not for the comforts I could offer you,
just come back and talk, won't you?
I promise.
- Falco! - (WOMEN EXCLAIMING SADLY)
You're not gonna leave me with these women?
I told you, I don't sell people, if that's your concern.
You're a shade conspicuous for my line of work,
and while they're not exactly the Vestal Virgins,
you should be thrilled with the prospect of Justus for all.
I'd rather see Rome.
What do you mean, you'd rather see Rome? This is Rome!
You've been fighting here for years!
I've been fighting in the arena for years.
And during all that time, you've never been through the city?
Until last night, just Casca's gladiator school, the arena,
nowhere else.
Nowhere? Not even to visit someone?
I had to kill everyone I know.
FALCO: On second thought, maybe it was better to keep an eye on this bruiser
before he killed somebody I knew!
Well, since he whole of Rome's seen you,
I suppose you've earned the chance to see part of Rome.
But the it's straight back to Casca's school until I sort this out with Garrus.
- By your honor? - By my honor.
Then let's go. I want to get this nephew of mine off the streets by nightfall.
And try not to look so big.
PETRO: A list of convictions awaits your sentencing, Lord Pertinax.
- Crime? - Tax evasion.
(INHALES PENSIVELY) Have him
drawn and quartered.
Next!
Helping an escaped slave.
Burned. Alive. In public.
- Writing graffiti on the palace? - Disembowelment.
- Christian. - Lions.
- Christian? - Lions!
- Christian. - (SIGHS FORCEFULLY)
Lions.
Stealing food.
Death by starvation.
I know this last man.
He's a veteran, sir.
We fought together in the Carthage campaign.
He's a good man.
Just fallen on hard times and needed to feed his family.
I see!
Well, I suppose there's no harm
in showing a little mercy to our boys in bronze.
Strike death by starvation
and just hang him.
Yes, sir.
All hail the Emperor, Vespasian Caesar!
Uh, come, come, Petro, is this going to take all day?
I have far more important things to do
than dispose of Rome's refuse.
PETRO: Yes, sir. Here it is.
Treason against the state.
Treason, eh?
I want that one crucified
in the Valley of Death.
(PEOPLE GROANING)
Falco, wait! This place!
Not exactly the Forum, I know.
Since we looked all over this city...
No one's seen anything of my nephew lately. I thought we should look here.
The Valley of Death.
Maybe you know more about this city than you claim.
I only know, when I lose in the arena,
this is where I end up.
Hail Simplex, ruler of the valley!
Who calls me "ruler"? Why not "king" or "emperor"?
Why not "god of the valley"?
'Cause it's late, I'm in a bad mood,
and it's gonna cost me no matter what I call you.
So let's get down to business, shall we?
Oh, it's Falco, is it?
And a gladiator!
I don't like gladiators.
It takes four slaves to lift them, and they smolder for days.
But you mention business.
A young soul. Twenty-five to look, 80 if you find him.
Forty to look, 100 if we find him.
It's games week. What with the crowds and the arena,
I've got everyone on overtime.
Thirty-five and 90.
Or we leave him in peace, and I spend your money on a sacrifice instead.
Nobody cheats death like you, Falco.
- Who we looking for? - Teenage boy, maybe 15.
If he's here,
he won't have been here for long.
- Teenage boy, 15! Find him! - Yeah.
No! No! No! No!
- Take it easy, Justus! - No! No!
Justus! Calm down!
- FALCO: You knew this man? - Ajax. We fought yesterday.
- A friend. - We were all friends.
We trained together, we ate together. Brothers of the Sword, they call us.
We know the day to fight will come.
But to end up here like dogs? Who would kill his own brother for that?
In Rome, you'd be surprised.
Then take me back to Casca's school.
I've seen enough of your Rome.
FALCO: Don't tell me this trained killer actually had a conscience!
This city never lacked for wonders,
but Justus here was proving to be a new one, even for me.
Put that impressive dagger away and tell me, O god of the valley,
how much to see this Ajax gets a decent burial?
Decent burial? For a gladiator?
How much, damn you?
Well, what with mourners, masks, musicians,
a plot in the temple grounds,
I couldn't touch it for less than 400 sesterces.
- Done. - Cash in advance!
You can come by and get it tomorrow morning.
Just make sure you treat him gently.
I'm told he was a man of honor.
Move!
Well, if I can take 1,200 sesterces for a job I don't want,
what's a few of them to see your friend safely across the River Styx?
SIMPLEX: Falco! Wait!
You are in rare luck, my friend.
I think we've found your boy.
- Oh, no. - Your nephew?
Guess again.
It's Cato.
(DOG BARKING)
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
(POUNDING ON DOOR)
Helena! What's happening?
It's nothing, Father. I'll see to it.
- Go back to bed, please. - Yes, do that, Senator Verus.
This nothing of ours would be of little concern to a man of your reputation.
You insolent commoner.
How dare you come to my father's house like this?
I warned you, Falco. I'll have your head on a platter.
Save your sweet talk for your father or your husband, Helena Justina.
I'm only here to finish our business, if we ever had any.
Found Cato? Where?
Your plaything's right here, but I warn you,
he was carried in and he'll be carried out.
- Cato! - (CLATTERING)
I'd offer my condolences,
but I'm sure you'd prefer the balance of your money back. It'll be here by morning.
No, your work is not finished.
Oh, no? He was your lover, you dispose of him.
Cato wasn't my lover.
He was my brother.
And I want to know who killed him.
- Who says he was murdered? - Don't toy with me, Falco!
Then do the same for me, Lady.
You conceal your name when you come from one of Rome's most famous families,
and your husband, Pertinax, sits beside the Emperor Vespasian
as head of the Praetorian Guard,
who could, with one single word, turn this city inside-out
to find your brother's killer. So why soil your patrician hands with me?
Because the Emperor and my husband now have enemies too numerous to count.
Even the hint of a scandal would be seized upon to discredit them.
And if you're shrewd enough to find my brother and bring him here,
then you know what I'm saying is true!
Maybe.
But on your side of the Tiber, the truth can change more often than your clothes.
Hate me if it suits you, Falco.
And I won't pretend to like you.
But as a wife, I must protect my family and my husband.
And what man could ask more from a wife than that?
Pertinax, my lord!
What is this midnight meeting that now requires me to seek my wife's protection?
Cato has been killed.
Killed?
Or was it murder?
I do not know.
When I noticed Cato's bed had not been touched for two nights,
I grew worried.
So I engaged this freeborn, Falco, to look for him.
The rest is
as you see.
Falco, is it?
Tell me everything you know about this now
or so help me, you'll curse the day you were ever given a tongue.
I only know we found him in the valley from which none of us returns.
Have you been paid for your trouble, citizen?
Generously.
Then we need trouble you no longer for your services.
But I warn you...
No warning is needed, Praetor.
My lips are as silent as the boy's.
See that it stays that way.
You may go.
(METAL WHOOSHING)
- SULLA: Jump to your left! - (SWORDS CLANGING)
Don't you know which one's your left?
Keep your shield up! Up!
Idiots! Kill him!
- I said kill him! Don't you... - GLADIATOR: Fight! Fight!
There's Sulla.
No, no! Not like that, you pathetic son of Stupidicus! The weapon!
Always keep your eyes on the weapon!
Your master, Casca. I need to speak with him. Where is he?
Where he always is. Wedged behind a plate.
Or a dozen of them.
He's over there.
This won't take long.
Well, well, well. I told you he'd be back.
Not much good a trained baboon like you out there is good for.
I've seen better than you, Sulla. That's enough.
You don't say!
And he's learned how to answer back, too!
- (GRUNTS) - (MEN LAUGHING)
What's this? Don't tell me you've already forgotten how to fight.
Three hundred sesterces a day just to board him?
You don't just board a thoroughbred like Justus, Falco.
If you expect him to retain his value,
there's food, training sessions, baths, massages, more food...
And if you want women for him, that's extra,
though Garrus never did.
You mean to tell me that Justus has never been with a woman?
(CHUCKLING) Never.
(COUGHS NOISILY)
Garrus thinks it saps the killer instinct.
Now, if you intend to sell him back to the Senator,
then you better see it stays this way, too, huh?
Can you believe they have the nerve to call these
"door mice in honey sauce"?
MAN 1: Wow! What is that? MAN 2: All right! Hey!
(MEN JEERING)
(MEN WHISTLING)
SULLA: Her name's Druida.
She's supposed to be the fiercest woman in the Empire.
(GROANS)
(SULLA LAUGHING GLEEFULLY)
(GRUNTS SAVAGELY)
Get out of here.
We're leaving.
Believe me, I'd love to keep you in the manner to which you're accustomed,
but at Casca's prices,
I can't even afford for us to be standing around here. Now, come on.
(PAN FLUTE MUSIC PLAYING)
JUSTUS: Have you ever seen a woman gladiator before?
A woman gladiator?
Well, every freak in the Empire is displayed here sooner or later,
I mean, three-headed dogs, twins joined at the hips,
but no, I can't say I've seen one of those.
An extraordinary idea, though. But I'm sure when your time comes,
there'll be plenty of Roman women willing to have you.
- "Extraordinary." That's a good word, yes? - Yeah.
A good word, but not enough to save a skin
if my landlord or bookie gets a hold of me.
Yeah, but I could help you with them.
(LAUGHS) You could help me? By doing what, exactly?
- Killing them? - It doesn't have to get to it, but...
Listen. In the first place,
I am not your master. In the second,
I don't go around having people beaten up or murdered.
(SIGHS) Gladiators!
And do something with your hair.
What's with the Gaius getup?
Things didn't work out at Casca's school, eh?
And you can stop looking so pleased about it, too.
Well, if you want a foul face to look at, try Simplex's.
He's here to collect for last night.
Don't tell me you left him to wait in the office!
Well, I wasn't about to have the King of Death leer at me till you got back.
Oh, perfect! That necrophiliac drinks like a fish!
I'll be lucky if he's left me enough wine to souse a gnat.
What did I tell you?
Why don't you finish this?
By the time Garrus gets back, you'll have consumed everything I have anyway.
(GENTLY) Simplex.
(INSISTENTLY) Simplex.
Before you thank me for saving your life, it might just interest you to know
that our old friend Simplex there isn't drunk, he's dead.
Search the city if need be, but I want my dagger found.
It has a three-sided blade and a snake on the handle.
- Understand? - Yes, sir.
If there's anything you need from the Praetorians, Domitian, you need only ask.
It was nothing, Pertinax. I misplaced something, that's all.
But of course. I, too, am distracted
by the tragic murder of my wife's younger brother, Cato.
You two were close, were you not?
Is it true that you were together the night that he was stabbed?
What are you saying?
Only that you must never forget
that your father is the Emperor now.
And everything you do will be scrutinized by his enemies,
anxious for any excuse to tear him from the throne.
Now, I've sworn my life to protect you both.
But I can only do that if I have your absolute trust.
There can be nothing hidden between us, Domitian.
Do you understand?
I do.
And you have my trust, Pertinax. I swear it.
Good.
Then we will go together to Cato's funeral tonight
and share our grief. Yes?
(SIGHS)
That woman gladiator, the one I sent for,
the one who's sworn to try and kill the Emperor. Is she in Rome now?
- Yes, sir. - Excellent.
We'll just have to see Domitian gives her that chance, won't we?
And that character, Falco,
- has he been seen, too? - Yes, sir.
What a perfect day this is becoming.
And still so early yet.
- Poison? - The wine was cheap. It wasn't that deadly.
You sure you don't recall seeing anyone strange lurking around?
In this bath house? Strange? Please!
Well, someone's anxious to see me shipped into the next world.
- Your landlord, maybe? - Never get paid if I was dead.
And poison's more the modus operandi of the rich. No.
Six-to-five says this is about Cato's murder.
This is an awfully fine piece of steel
for the likes of Simplex to be toting around.
- Juba the Elder made that. - Oh, really?
Just one glance and you can tell who made this, just like that, eh?
I may not know much, Falco, but I know weapons.
And that's Juba's.
Falco, you think it's the knife that killed Cato?
I think we better find out before it ends up poking out of me.
(WATER RUNNING)
Does your work always have this many dead bodies?
You should talk. Besides, there's a lot you can find out from a corpse
if you know how to ask.
What do you want?
I heard you're the best mortician in Rome, so I came to see for myself.
Best, worst,
it's all the same to them now, from where I stand.
FALCO: What happened to him?
Someone decided he looked better with a knife in his guts.
His name's Cato.
Couldn't have been much of a fight. I don't see many bruises.
Haven't you heard? The rich don't bruise in Rome.
- What about yours? - Drank himself to death. Will that cost more?
(SNORTS) If you have to ask the price, you can't afford it.
What are you gawking at, bull?
Your face.
A reward from my master for trying to escape.
Pretty, isn't it?
Now I'm only fit to work in here, where the patrons aren't easily offended.
Seen enough yet to decide, citizen?
FALCO: The rich may not bruise in Rome,
but the dead usually do.
Mmm! Now, Cato, where did you manage to pick up a tattoo like that?
So quit stalling and get on with it, Falco.
Not that I was any too keen to make this match,
but I had one three-sided blade
and one three-sided wound.
What'd he say?
"Seen enough yet, citizen?"
(PEOPLE MOANING)
They say you haven't lived till you've been to a real funeral in Rome.
And if there was any place to find out who buried that knife in Cato,
this was it, all right.
Besides, I thought Justus might appreciate a look at how the other half dies.
Is this what you had him do for Ajax?
Give or take 50,000 sesterces.
Now, I want you to keep an eye out for...
People who aren't where they're supposed to be.
- Right, Falco? - Petro!
And I though you were off crushing heads on the Judean front.
When I can stay here in Rome and hope for a chance to crush yours?
Along with your Thracian slave I've been hearing about.
Not that I could ever limit the scope of your ignorance, Petro,
but he's not my slave.
He's merely temporary collateral for a loan.
And don't call him "Thracian."
I'll call him an ox's ass if it suits me.
And if you're half as smart as you think you are,
you'll stay away from the murder of this young Cato.
(IN MOCK SURPRISE) Murder?
Justus and I are simply casting about for my missing nephew
and marveling at just how much it costs the rich to say goodbye.
Spare me the stale air, Falco. You're out of your class this time.
Way out. It's Praetorian Guard business now.
Come on, Justus!
Let's allow this Captain of the Guard to get back to his true calling.
Directing traffic.
Just don't say you weren't warned, Falco.
FALCO: Hmm! Now here was a new face in the crowd.
And it was clear nobody had to teach her how to make an entrance.
So what, then?
A friend of the family, maybe?
A friend of Cato's?
Or maybe the only girl in town who can get you a swell snake's-head tattoo.
- JUSTUS: Who is she? - I have no idea.
But something tells me it's past time to find out.
Take my advice, Justus. You keep away from women like that.
I tell you, if I ever get out of here, I'm gonna chuck this lousy racket
and I'm gonna paint frescoes for a living.
(FALCO EXCLAIMS)
- (WHIP CRACKING) - (MAN SHOUTING ORDERS)
MAN: Pull!
Falco?
MAN: Move forward!
(WHIP CRACKING)
(SPEAKING LATIN)
Say hello to the goddess Cybele.
A hot ticket among religions right now.
Though given the way men and women crave to jump on each other,
I can't imagine how a fertility cult can fail.
Why, that little filthy-necked nose-wiper!
- The priestess? - Worse. The nephew.
Just wait here. I've suddenly got some family business to attend to.
And what's my little sister going to say
when she finds out that her precious darling left home to scrub floors?
- Uncle Falco! - That's right, Uncle Falco,
who hasn't had a bath in two days
because he's been combing the hills of Rome looking for you!
I am sworn to Cybele now.
Why? So you can play with some pretty girl here
in the name of practicing fertility?
The boy has joined us of his own free will.
He belongs to the cult now.
Unfortunately, he already belongs to a cult.
Namely, my family.
And I think we hold prior claim.
As I said, these grounds are sacred.
Don't make me summon the Guard to prove it.
FALCO: Amazing how fast a temple full of beauties can suddenly turn ugly.
But the odds were in her favor now, and she knew it.
Let's say we forget about the law
and I make an offer to the eternal Cybele of, say,
mmm,
400 sesterces,
so that Curio here can go home to reconsider the depth of his devotion?
Keep your money. The goddess puts no price
on so constant a soul as...
Curio. His name's Curio.
Do you wish to remain in the embrace of our divine Cybele, Curio?
Yes, I do.
Then the matter is settled.
Well, it does appear that Curio has found religion after all.
- My apologies to the goddess. - Apology accepted.
But lest you judge us unfairly,
Uncle Falco,
please, come to our ceremonies.
The castration ritual can be most elevating.
FALCO: Funny, it was already having just the opposite effect on me.
"Keep your money," she says?
I do not trust people who won't take a decent bribe when it's offered.
And what's she doing with her own pack of Praetorian Guards, anyway?
I tell you, something stinks in there,
and it's not just that nitwit of a nephew of mine.
- GIRLS: Justus! - (MAN GREETING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
- GIRLS: Justus! - Do you mind not drawing a crowd right now?
I'm trying to concentrate on business.
I'm sorry, Falco. I didn't want to be rude.
Of course not! A rude gladiator?
Perish the thought!
And what's that thing you're waving around out there, anyway?
- One of the girls gave that to me. - Let me see that.
(SNIFFS)
- You know what it is? - Not for certain,
but it could be the source of that nasty smell back there.
Nasty enough to sour my wine and send old Simplex straight to Hades?
Hey, scribe!
Now, I gotta go and see Juba the Elder about that dagger.
I want you to take that route to Egnatius the Expensive.
He's a Greek doctor. You'll find him at the Insula Tibernia.
He'll know what it is. Now,
here's the address, and the directions.
And if he tries to charge you more than 80 sesterces,
you have my permission to operate on him hard.
- Falco, I can't go alone. - Well, why not? What do you mean?
- Well, aren't you afraid I might escape? - (LAUGHING) Escape?
Listen, if you wanted to escape, Justus, there's nothing I could do about it.
On my own? No. I don't know the city like you do.
That's right, and that's why I've written out the directions.
- I know, but... - What in Hera's hothouse is the problem?
(SOFTLY) I can't read.
Well, that's not an incurable condition!
Hey, if you can learn to fight, you can learn to write.
And now I just want you to take this and ask around.
And with all the fans you got, who's gonna steer you wrong?
And, if it gets towards nightfall,
then I'll meet you back at the apartment.
- Should it take that long? - With a doctor? Please.
Now off you go.
Justus? Yeah, that way.
Gladiators.
Hail Juba the Elder, man of Roman steel if ever there was one.
FALCO: I didn't know if he'd buy it,
but I told Juba a rather juicy story
of how I had to grab this fancy knife
on my way out of another man's bedroom window.
For protection, of course.
(STEAM HISSING)
But since I was too drunk at the time to recall his lovely wife's name,
or her address, for that matter,
maybe he could clue me in so I could quietly have it returned
without anyone being the wiser.
I know who holds every weapon made here.
Just show it to me and we'll soon have the cuckold's name. (LAUGHS)
(GASPS)
(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY) You're mistaken. It's not my work.
- Of course it is! Look! - I tell you it's not!
- Now take it and go! - MAN: All hail Captain Petronius!
Turn! Turn!
Ah, Captain Petronius!
Messenger-boy Petronius, you mean.
You know Domitian has had me all over this city,
twice,
looking for his damn dagger?
Ah! One day, and all of Rome.
So before he has me shipped to the Judean front over this,
do us a favor and make him another one.
Dagger? What dagger would that be?
You know, the fancy one with the eagle swallowing the snake carved on the handle.
He'll never know the difference.
And if you whip your slaves enough,
I'll bet you can finish it by nightfall tomorrow.
- What do you say, Juba? - I, uh...
(CLEARS THROAT NERVOUSLY)
I thought you'd never come.
I wonder,
- does your wife ever kiss you like this? - (LAUGHING)
All I ever wanted from that woman was her royal name,
so that when the moment comes,
the Senate will have no choice but to confirm me.
So you don't plan to keep her?
Not her,
not her father,
not even her kitchen slaves will be kept alive once I'm on the throne.
It's a pity she couldn't join us in this.
She's so pretty.
(LAUGHING)
FALCO: Knowing I'd most likely be dead within the week,
I'd gone back to the office to start drinking my way to it
when guess who was waiting there for me,
and just brimming with questions, too.
HELENA: This is not the knife that killed Cato.
I'll wager it is. Which reminds me,
I wonder how the Blues did in the fourth race yesterday.
Damn you, Falco, whose knife is this?
Domitian's. Perhaps you know him? He's the Emperor's son.
- Domitian? - A piece of information I could well have lived without.
- Falco, I never told you... - You never told me half what you knew
when you dragged me into this,
which is more than enough now to have me killed.
I admit I've been cautious with you.
Maybe too much.
But we've had four emperors in the last year alone.
The power in Rome shifts faster than the wind.
Then go tell your husband. His sails are more than full just now.
That's not as simple as you might think.
And why not?
My marriage to Pertinax is one of politics, not romance.
His loyalty is to the Emperor, not to me.
That is why I still need you to find out why Domitian would do this.
You hear that, gods?
My life's not enough.
She wants more.
Domitian and Cato were friends, Falco.
If he killed him, I need to know if my whole family is now in danger.
Perhaps the High Priestess Saleena can answer that for you.
So you know about the cult, then.
Enough to detest it.
And now your brother's mixed up in it.
He only joined because Domitian asked him to.
And that's all I know.
So how much will it take to keep you on this?
You can keep your money. I don't want it.
Then what do you want?
Because I still need you, Falco.
And I've seen enough men to know that, even in the face of death,
they all want something.
And what could you imagine I'd want?
Me.
(CHUCKLES)
You're not serious.
Even if you despise me, Falco,
the thought of commanding a woman of my rank to fulfill your every pleasure,
it must arouse something.
Did once.
But she left a scar on my heart that's yet to heal.
Afraid you won't enjoy it, then?
I'm more afraid I will.
We belong to different worlds, Lady.
And I've strayed too far from mine as it is.
You're not the only one with a family to protect here.
So you won't do it, even to have me?
I'll have the contents of this jar,
and then try to forget that I ever saw you.
I'm sorry for us both, Falco.
And sorrier still for Rome.
FALCO: Sorry for Rome?
To offer herself like that could only mean she was more deceptive
or more desperate than I thought.
But why for Rome?
The truth was, the man in me was already regretting
that I would never have the pleasure of finding out.
(SNORING SOFTLY)
(GRUNTS GROGGILY)
MAN 1: Every room! MAN 2: This way! This way!
MAN 1: Through here! MAN 2: Those to the right!
FALCO: Oh, Petro, it's too early for this!
Gods, I hate to flee with a hangover.
(POTTERY SHATTERING)
(CLATTERING)
No doubt they'd already torn through my apartment by now,
so there was no point heading back there.
So which way to head, Falco?
- (WHIP CRACKS) - (GROANS)
Falco!
Just like that bastard Nero to come back from his grave to finish me off.
...cannot be disturbed! Go away!
Don't tell me Lady Helena cannot be disturbed, woman!
Or I'll show you what "disturbed" can mean!
It's all right, Camilla.
Tell Falco these are the last of these intrusions I will tolerate.
Falco's been arrested.
I no longer see how that's any concern of mine.
You got him into this! He was working for you!
I had nothing to do with his arrest.
Then at least tell us where they've taken him.
We've been to the Tullanium Jail. He's not there.
Your husband is commander of the Guard, Lady. Surely you can give us that much.
I have nothing to tell you. Please leave this house now.
Come on, Justus. We're wasting our time here.
You should help him.
What did you say?
Justus, don't.
You should help Falco.
You realize, slave, I could have you killed for even speaking to me like that.
Then have me killed.
But please tell her where to find Falco.
How long has Falco owned you?
Two days.
And already you would sacrifice your life for even the chance to spare his?
Why is that?
Answer me!
I cannot say what Falco does or is,
but I know I have never met anyone like him.
I will make inquiries with the Guard.
Now go quickly, before this fit of madness passes and I return to my senses.
(CROWD CHEERING)
FALCO: Given my profession, I assumed my end would be a violent one.
But I always thought the animals that got me would be at least be vaguely human.
- (MOANING IN TERROR) -That cross! Are you one of those Christians?
When I'm not a prostitute.
Some of my best friends are prostitutes.
(GRUNTING)
This Jesus fellow,
they say that when he was crucified, he rose from the grave and walked again.
Is that right?
Do you believe in this Jesus?
Yes. I do. (SOBBING)
- (ROARING) - (WOMEN SHRIEKING)
Calm yourself, child.
When the time comes, I'll go out there with you.
And I'll stand in front, and after they've tasted my stringy hide,
well, maybe they'll lose their appetite.
(TRUMPETS HERALDING)
Lady Helena, so where's Falco?
He's here.
Falco's to be thrown to the lions when the games begin within the hour.
(CROWD CHEERING)
Is there no way we can get to him below?
Wait here.
(INAUDIBLE)
MAN: Keep moving!
What did you tell those guards to get us through?
I told them I had a taste for gladiators before they went to fight.
What man could be more passionate than one that knows this time may be his last?
Is that true?
We'd best split up to look for him.
MAN: You there! Move!
(SCOTTISH ACCENT) Hand me a sword and I'll give you something to stare at,
you Roman pig!
You already gave me something.
And I'm not Roman.
Then you're a Roman slave. It's all the same to me.
I was a slave.
Oh, and what are you now, eh? A senator?
I don't know. I move like a freeborn,
but my master is in here.
Then run while you can, fool!
Before these monsters eat you the way they devour everything.
Escape back where you came from.
Now!
I don't know where that is.
MAN: Bring the woman gladiator!
Quickly, tell me, who you gonna fight now?
I think they call him Atticus.
Then listen.
Atticus likes to slash high,
but only strikes low.
If he does it, he leaves an opening right here.
MAN: Bring her now!
- MAN: Come on! - (DRUIDA GRUNTING)
I found where they're keeping Falco,
and Lady Helena's gone to clear us a way out.
But there's a problem with keys.
You! Come on, move! Move!
- Don't you start or I'll beat you! Now move! - Sulla!
SULLA: Pull now! Pull! Pull!
Get going! Move, you!
Move! Come on! Get going!
- Scream! - (SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
I always wanted to do that.
Here. Go!
(CROWD CHEERING)
(DRUIDA ROARING)
It's a pity your father wasn't here in time to see this.
She's incredible, isn't she?
An absolute Amazon!
Where's she from?
Britannia, I think.
Of course, there's the palace banquet to culminate the games.
Oh, yes, of course!
If she survives here, we could have her fight there as a gift to Vespasian.
We can get whoever owns her to sell her to us.
I don't see how they could refuse you.
Excellent.
Then it's settled.
Niobe! What are you doing here?
Freeing you! Freeing all of you!
- You're insane, girl. - No! It's a miracle.
Oh, bless you, Falco! Bless you!
Visit me whenever you want. No charge.
Neither of you will get the chance if you don't go quickly.
Apparently the threat of death doesn't prevent you from enjoying street whores.
What you saw was an expression of Christian gratitude.
And what are you doing here, anyway?
I'm still asking myself the same question.
- (TRUMPETS HERALDING) - (CROWD CHEERING)
Goodbye, Falco.
(CLATTERING)
MAN: Come on, move!
MAN: Come, to your cell!
(GRUNTING)
Sulla!
- (GROANING GROGGILY) - Here!
(MOANING)
MAN: Sound the alarm!
(HORN BLOWING)
- Justus! - Justus?
You mean Justus was a part of this?
Well, he was most of this.
And he was right behind me, but...
Then they'll kill him for sure.
I'll need this, I'll need that.
Now, you go on. I'll meet you later.
Well, where? They'll be at the office, at your place...
Then at Mother's. Now go on.
Halt!
Hold it! Where do you think you're going, slave?
(LISPING EFFEMINATELY) There you are, you disobedient animal, you!
- MAN: What? - Bad, bad, bad!
Well, don't just stand there like idiots!
Tie his hands!
I'm taking this one straight home
to see he gets the whipping he deserves.
Now, get along, you wretched ox,
before I really lose my temper.
Go on!
And take it from me, boys,
never own a gladiator.
Bye!
(LAUGHTER)
Our Curio's gone and sworn himself to the cult of Cybele.
And this time it's gonna take more than some fast talking for me to get him back.
Aw, don't blame the boy. He does something like this
every time his sister Lepida gets divorced.
What, again? That's number four for her, isn't it?
(ALL CHUCKLING)
Now we know why I never got married.
Our family's just not good at it.
Oh, nonsense. I've had three perfectly good marriages.
- Who's counting, Mama? - Not you,
who won't have time for even one wife
if you don't get yourself out of this fire.
If only I knew whose fire.
Speaking of which, but I wasn't,
did you ever find that Greek doctor?
FALCO: So he called it Mandragora, did he?
Yes.
Some sort of aphrodisiac, isn't it?
Prepared in small doses, yes. But mix enough of this with wine
and it can arouse one clear into the next world.
First lions, and now poison.
No! I've heard enough to know it's time you catch a ship to Africa or someplace
and disappear while you still can.
- (DOOR CRASHES OPEN) - (MEN GRUNTING)
- MAN: We found this soldier spying outside! - (WOMAN SCREAMING)
(GRUNTS)
By all means find a ship and book passage, Mother.
But if I can't stop who's behind all this,
then it'll be our family that has to flee Rome and not just me.
(PEOPLE CHATTERING SOFTLY)
CHILD: Good night, Uncle!
CHILD: Good night! WOMAN: Good night.
This one make you a bit edgy, does he?
It's not him. It's them.
You fear for your family now, Falco.
Your mother, the children.
- I don't even fear for myself. - You know nothing of your parents?
I was three, maybe younger, when we were taken as slaves.
I don't remember anything.
I only know I'm not from Thrace.
"So don't call me Thracian," right?
I don't have a past, Falco.
Everyone has a past, Justus.
It's just that finding your past could be a bit tricky.
I mean, you were branded every time you were sold, right? Let me have a look.
It's a small empire after all.
Flavius Glyco, you old dog, you.
- Glyco? - Yeah.
I was gonna pay him a visit at sunrise.
If anyone can get me a lead into that cult, Glyco can.
But he was a big wholesaler in the slave trade until his wife made him give it up.
Couldn't keep from sampling the female merchandise.
Anyway, I'm sure that's his brand.
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
Politics gets ugly, the economy goes bad, people turn back to religion.
And what with cults like Cybele's,
I had to take on extra help just to keep up with demand.
I saw the new temple of Cybele the other day. Most impressive.
Ah, forget about the temple. You get a look at that priestess, Saleena? Ooh!
What I wouldn't give to pray at her altar.
How much can you tell me about her, Glyco?
There's a rumor that she's been giving the Emperor's son, Domitian,
a bit more than just, uh, spiritual guidance.
He's a regular at all the ceremonies. There's a big one there tonight.
Zeus overthrowing Cronus, I think.
That's where all this lot are going.
FALCO: Saleena and Domitian, eh?
What could she want with him? He's still a boy.
Unless it's Zeus overthrowing Cronus,
a royal son who hurls his father from the throne to rule the gods himself.
And then little Domitian becomes her puppet to rule Rome.
But why kill Cato?
So. Are you here to buy, Falco, or just to browse?
I'm curious what you can tell me about my man here.
- His birth, Glyco. - His birth?
I'm a maskmaker, Falco, not a soothsayer.
Don't need to be a soothsayer to recognize your brand on him, Glyco.
My brand? Really?
It's so rare I get to see one of those anymore.
Oh, the slaves!
Shiploads from every corner of the Empire.
All colors, shapes and sizes.
They were the good old days.
May I see it?
- I hear he's from Thrace. - No, this one's from Germania.
I always used to mark the Germans with an extra little dot there. See?
Oh, fine specimen he grew into too, eh?
Surely you can tell me more than just where he comes from.
Well, I bought thousands of Germanians
after the legions went in to crush them.
There were quite a few rather large boy children.
One of them might have been the son of a local king,
but I'd have to check the records to say for sure.
Why don't you do that, Glyco? Why don't you check your records?
And I'll take a few of these masks here now.
Oh, you will? So what do I get out of all this?
If you're very lucky,
I won't tell your wife about all the extra help
you've been getting.
Uh...
(CHUCKLES SPEECHLESSLY)
Helena! You can't be going off at this hour!
I'm afraid I must. Someone may have some information about Cato.
I seem to have caught you just in time.
Are you on your way out?
The Caligula under the arena again?
Or is it the public baths?
Another rendezvous with that irritating clod Falco?
Darling, if you really did have to troll the sewers of Rome
to find yourself a savior,
surely you could do yourself better than that!
- Pertinax, my lord... - Spare me your hollow honorifics, wife.
I gave you a chance to rise with me, but you refused.
Something to do with the
(INHALES SHARPLY)
dignitas of your noble heritage, wasn't it?
Did you really think that you could stop me?
Huh?
Madness!
- What now? - Now?
You and your father will come to the palace, and tomorrow,
you will sit beside me at the Emperor's feast
with a smile to charm the gods.
And if I refuse?
(CLICKS TONGUE)
I'll have your father's skin peeled off his bones one layer at a time.
And you can watch.
Take them!
(LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING)
(ALL CHANTING)
FALCO: So the Priestess Saleena and Domitian really are an item.
And maybe Cato finds out about their plot to do away with Emperor Dad.
That's reason enough to kill him, I suppose.
And even more to get my nephew out of here by tonight!
You!
I just came to see,
did Atticus land many hits on you before he fell?
Not enough to stop me.
But you were right about that opening by his heart.
Good.
Wait!
Who are you? You speak like a gladiator
but you come and go like a freeborn.
I'm Justus from Germania.
Germania? That's just across the Channel from Britain.
Oh, this Britain, is that where your people are?
What's left of them after those Roman butchers invaded.
They killed my family and enslaved my tribe.
And I swore as their queen
to take revenge on every Roman I could,
including their emperor if ever I got the chance.
You were a queen?
All that's left of my reign is the hate I bear for Rome.
I used to fight from hate, too.
Hate of the whips, the shackles.
Hate of everything that told me I was a slave.
- And then? - I saw that, in the end,
the haters always lose in the arena. Hate blinds.
To win, a gladiator cannot let anything cloud his view.
I gave up my hate to survive.
Let's see that bite I gave you.
You came here because you wanted me, didn't you, Justus?
It's all right!
You not the first one to say he's never been with a woman like me.
I have never been with any woman.
I see.
You're afraid they might break if you held them?
I know much about how to kill
and nothing about how to love.
You're not afraid of hurting me, though, are you?
You could always fight back.
- But... - Oh.
You're the only one I've met in Rome who I don't want to fight.
You gave me Atticus and I promised you nothing.
Now let what's left of the queen in me
offer you something in return.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(PEOPLE CHANTING)
FALCO: I'd been to a few wild bashes in my time,
but this Saleena gave the word "decadence" a whole new meaning.
Your nephew, Falco. Just think about your nephew.
(WHISPERING FIERCELY) Come on! Come on! Get out here!
Mama! What do you think you're doing here?
If that boy needs a dangerous woman to obey,
I'm here to see he gets one!
I don't suppose any of you've seen a woman with a mask like mine, have you?
- ALL: No. - No? All right.
(ALL MOANING)
(CURIO GASPS IN SURPRISE)
And people say there's no fun left in religion, eh, Curio?
(GRUNTING IN PAIN)
You see? I didn't break. I'm still here.
- But you fought well. - (CHUCKLES)
And if you fight like that in the arena, I'm not surprised you've never lost.
(DOOR OPENING)
- (WHISPERING) You must go now! - I paid you to leave us alone!
Then take your money back.
The Praetorians are here. They've come to take her to the palace. Now!
The palace? Tonight?
She's been bought by the Emperor's son, Domitian.
She fights before Vespasian at his banquet tomorrow.
What opponent goes with her?
Right now she goes alone.
Please!
Druida, we can fight them together. I know ships. You can escape...
- No! - Please!
You got what you came for, and now so must I.
Falco.
I came as soon as Niobe found me.
She said something about Lady Helena arrested.
When she didn't show up at the temple, I went to her house.
Gods, I'm a fool.
I was so keen to stay out of all this, I couldn't see
what was staring me in the face.
And now, barring a miracle, Pertinax is gonna crush us all.
Rome is a strange place, Falco.
Least you've learned that before I'm gone.
Where else could a highborn like Lady Helena
be kept as much a prisoner as a slave queen?
What do you mean, a slave queen? What slave queen?
Druida, the woman gladiator.
I was with her tonight before she was taken to the palace, too.
You mean there really is a female gladiator?
Yeah! You should see her fight, Falco. She's very good.
And you were with her tonight?
It was extraordinary! That's the right word, isn't it, Falco?
(EXHALES) I'm sure it is.
But what's this about her being taken to the palace?
She's been bought by Domitian, and she fights at the Emperor's banquet tomorrow.
But I fear she carries so much hate she's going to try to kill him, too.
Gods of Olympus! That's it! Justus!
I could kiss you.
No, thanks. I rather stick with women for a while.
(ROOSTER CROWING)
It'll be daylight soon, and by then our one chance to stop all this will be gone.
Quickly.
- (SIGHS) Falco. - Petro.
You try throwing me to the lions again,
- and this friendship's over. - Look...
It's been 15 minutes and he hasn't moved.
You weren't supposed to hit him that hard.
Maybe I haven't given up as much hate as I thought.
Don't panic, Petro! I'm buying.
It was you I saw.
- Wasn't it? - Yes, but you missed Justus.
(SIGHS)
How big a club did he hit me with?
Never mind that now. We've got more important things to talk about.
Listen, Falco,
about the lions, I swear I didn't know.
Well, the only question seemed to be how fast they could dispose of me.
I may not like what you do, Falco,
but even I know you're not dumb enough to murder a noble like Cato.
But since we both know I was set up,
I'm prepared to offer you the gamble of a lifetime.
Yeah? What are the stakes?
Well, you just might earn the eternal gratitude of our new emperor.
- Or? - Or invite certain death. Still willing to listen?
He'll listen.
FALCO: So here I was, working like a fiend
to put my head smack in the jaws of yet another emperor.
And though I knew the lives of my family hung in the balance,
I had the curious feeling that I was somehow doing this for Rome.
It's not that I admired Vespasian,
but the thought of Pertinax taking over in another bloody coup...
I guess there just comes a time
when we must take that chance for the good of everyone,
- even for a man like me. - (SIGHS)
- Falco, everything's ready, but... - I know.
A thousand things could go wrong, and they probably will.
Which is why I've prepared these.
Now, Niobe, you have become so indispensable to me
that without you I shall probably get lost on my way to the next world.
So you are welcome to my apartment if you want it,
and whatever remains of Helena's cash is yours.
Fortunately, my debts will die with me.
- Falco! - Please.
I worked on that speech all night. Let's just leave it there, eh?
Justus, if you alone should manage to survive all this,
then I want you to give this to Garrus when he returns.
And know that if you're not the son of a king,
then you ought to be.
Now out of here, both of you. It's almost time.
But I don't trust Petro.
Neither do I, but we have no choice.
- MAN: Stay where you are! - Citizen!
Marcus Didius Falco,
in the name of the Emperor Vespasian and the Praetorian Guard,
you are under arrest.
(LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING)
There was a time when I could keep up with a girl like that.
- But, um... - Oh, I'm sure she'd be willing to oblige,
if Caesar would like to find out.
Anyway, I'm much more interested in this surprise you've got planned for me.
Or do you really think I don't know what goes on in my own house?
Even an emperor should be entitled to a few surprises.
But since you've unmasked me,
bring on the gladiators!
Wait till you see this, Father.
It's a contest certain to start a fire in any man's blood.
- She'll probably win, too. - "She"?
Don't tell me you've found a woman gladiator.
Not just "a" woman gladiator,
"the" woman gladiator.
- MAN: Let the contest begin! - A true Amazon queen.
(DRUMS POUNDING)
(TRUMPETS HERALDING)
So that's why you came last night, to try and weaken me here, eh?
- Druida, please, no. Listen to me. - No!
We'll do our talking with these now.
"We who are about to die salute you."
He looks awfully big for her, doesn't he?
Nonsense! Five hundred sesterces says she has him down
before you finish that goblet of wine.
I'll take that bet!
- (DRUM ROLLING) - See you in hell.
(WHIP WHOOSHING)
(DRUIDA GRUNTING SAVAGELY)
(BOTH GRUNTING)
By the gods! She really is a fighter!
Care to join the wager, Father?
I'll add 500 sesterces of my own to Domitian's.
- Helena? - You're on.
(SCREAMING DEFIANTLY)
Guards!
Now, Petro! Now!
(HORN BLOWING)
(MEN SHOUTING)
MAN: Call the Guard!
And who are you?
What's in a name, Caesar?
This, Vespasian Caesar, is the man who warned me of Pertinax's plot.
And while I must beg your forgiveness for letting it go this far,
there's no way I could have believed it possible had I not seen it.
I asked for his name!
Marcus Didius Falco, Caesar.
And this plot?
Near as I can tell, Pertinax and Saleena
were trying to make it look like your son, Domitian, was out to get you.
- Father... - Silence!
Go on.
Then I imagine Pertinax, still appearing loyal, would kill Domitian
for his supposed treachery.
Leaving only him, as head of the Praetorian Guard, to become the next emperor.
And how, exactly, did you come to know of all this?
Through some bad luck,
and the help of this extraordinary gladiator.
I hired him, Caesar. In the hopes of securing a good future for my brother,
I married Pertinax
only to find this was no man I'd allowed into my noble family,
but a snake.
Realizing this, my brother started to follow Pertinax,
hoping to find some weakness, some scandal with which to check his obsessive ambition.
When Cato disappeared,
I had no other choice
but to look for an outsider like Falco to find him.
Do you deny this?
Why should I?
It almost worked, didn't it?
You are more twisted than the mind can comprehend.
All the better to rule Rome with, don't you think,
Caesar?
Hold everyone in the palace until I decide what's to be done with them.
But leave him here.
Now clear the room.
Now!
(PERTINAX SCREAMING)
- How's the cut? - I've had worse.
But what do you think's gonna happen to us, Falco?
Most likely, he'll kill us, too.
- For saving his life? - For knowing too much.
Vespasian's new to the throne.
Wouldn't look good for Rome to know he'd almost fallen off it.
People might get ideas.
You knew this could happen, didn't you, Falco?
The curse of having emperors, I'm afraid.
Marcus Didius Falco?
I've explained to the Emperor the great risk you took in warning me of this plot,
and in your efforts to overturn it.
For that, he is grateful.
However, because of the serious nature of these events,
he is left with no choice but to order the following.
Here it comes.
There will be no reward or public display of gratitude of any kind.
And you will never,
upon pain of death,
speak of what you've seen again.
Do you understand?
That's all?
No.
In addition, the Emperor will purchase the gladiator from you at a handsome profit.
Agreed?
The Emperor's decision is generous beyond expectation.
But as for the offer to buy Justus,
- I'm afraid that's impossible. - Why impossible?
That scroll I gave you. Give it to Petro.
"I, Marcus Didius Falco,
being the sole and legal owner of the gladiator known as Justus of Germania,
do herewith enact the laws of manumission
and grant to him his full and complete freedom
to be a citizen of Rome."
I see.
The fighter belongs to himself.
Just make sure to pay the five percent manumission tax
on the value of all freed slaves.
For a bruiser like that, I'd say about 3,000 sesterces should cover it.
FALCO: Three thousand sesterces?
NIOBE: Another one damaged beyond repair!
- Now that makes five... - And I could have a free wife now, couldn't I, Falco?
Wife? With the divorce rates these days?
Now, don't go rushing into anything, Justus.
Niobe, get on with it.
And my children would be free.
Freeborn citizens, every one of them.
I've always dreamed of having children.
- Great big ones. - FALCO: Niobe.
And I could learn how to read now, couldn't I, Falco?
Well, I could teach you! Right, Falco?
I can speak in six different languages, you know.
And curse in 12 of them. None of which is gonna help us.
How bad is it?
(SIGHS)
Mother of Isis, Falco.
- How much? - You're in a hole for 29,000 sesterces.
A new low.
Don't worry, Falco. We will think of something.
- "We"? - You sure about that?
You're free to go whenever you like, you know.
I know,
but I want to be what you are, Falco.
What exactly are you?
Well, he likes to call himself a private investigator.
If you can imagine that.
"Justus from Germania,
"private investigator."
That sounds good, doesn't it?
- Perfect! - I gotta go now, Falco.
Where do you think you're going? It's getting on to night out there.
I know, but Druida's being put on a ship to Britain tonight.
Not to worry. I'll go with him.
All those narrow, winding little streets.
And Justus?
Your hair.
"Gladiators!"
Good night, Falco.
Good night, Justus.
FALCO: What was it he said before?
Ah, yes.
"Rome is strange, Falco."
Well, there was no arguing that.
But was it just Rome and its empire?
Or was it simply the endless struggles and strivings of humanity itself
that defied all understanding?
Either way, my time here never seemed short on surprises.
(CLEARS THROAT SOFTLY)
Don't tell me you've come back to ask direc... tions...
Why would I do that?
I know exactly where I am.
Yes, in the wrecked apartment of a man with almost less than he can count.
I notice he still has a bed.
Ah, a bed can bring a man to his dreams, Helena Justina.
But it can never close the gap between our worlds.
I know that any relationship between us is out of the question, Falco.
Then why are you here?
Because it's getting too dark for me to go home now,
and I hoped you'd be willing to let me stay.
Just this one night.
MAN: Keep working!
MAN: Right, then!
(WHIP LASHING)