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[cat purrs, meows]
[fast, lively flamenco music playing]
[screams]
[giggles]
[Puss yowling] El Gato!
[yowls]
3x02 - Sullen Earth
[Dulcinea] Puss!
[gasping]
[Dulcinea panting]
Why are you smiling?
I have proven myself the world's greatest legal mind
with my incredible feat of mental agility.
They're gonna throw you in a cell for the rest of your life!
And I deserve no less.
[grunts]
[mole king] Wait, wait, hold up, stop everything.
- Hang on, hang on! - [Puss] Hmm?
[mole king] 'Scuse me! We're coming through.
[groans]
It's so hot.
How do you guys live up here?
Whatever.
Hold on. This is all wrong.
It's all wrong! [groans]
Stop what you're doing. Stop it!
You're forgetting his accomplices.
[gasps]
I want everyone locked up!
[shrieks] No!
[Toby screams] [gasps] Oh!
[cries out] Oh, hey, there, Zapata.
[Puss screams] No!
No?
[panting] Just... Just stop already.
[sniggers] And if I don't?
Ha! You tell him, boopsie.
Mole King, you may lock me up.
You may punish me. But you will not punish my friends.
Behold the wrath of Manuel with Shoes!
[grunting]
[grunts] [both groan]
[playing flamenco music]
[whistles]
[laughs]
[all grunting]
[groaning]
[Puss growling]
You are no match for Manuel with Shoe... [groans]
[gasps, whimpers]
[growling] [grunting]
Philistine! Aah!
[panting]
[growling]
I am sorry, Manuel with Shoes,
but your gift of song is no match for this foe.
I must become Puss in Boots once more and claim my destiny.
Toby, my sword!
Hooray! [mole guard groans]
[giggles] Toby, do not throw!
- Puss, catch! - No, no, no, no!
[grunts]
Hm?
That was incredibly dangerous, but impressive-looking.
I know. And I've learned nothing as a result.
We will discuss this later. [Toby gasps]
[shouts] Ya-ha!
[guards groaning]
[grunts] En garde!
[all grunting] [clanking]
[grunts]
[laughs] How I have missed this!
[guard] Hi-ya! [Puss groans]
Ugh.
[chortling]
[sighs]
[Puss groans]
[chuckles] Actually, this is not entirely unpleasant.
Eww.
Your Majesty, you must believe me.
My friends are all innocent.
[screams]
Yeah, I know, but I like a good scapegoat.
A scapegoat?
Yes. A scapegoat. [Toby screams]
Toby! Release Uli.
What? That's loco. In the head.
Do it at once. I have a plan!
All right.
[squeaking]
[guard groans]
[all groaning]
[Uli laughing] [man sobbing]
[playing up-tempo tune] [off-key vocalizing]
[man continues sobbing]
I just want it to stop.
[continues vocalizing]
[giggling]
[prison door creaks open]
[footsteps]
Ah! Guten tag, little piggy.
Get out, goaty-man!
Ah! I am free. Free! [cackling]
Eugh! [sobs]
The nightmare is over. [continues sobbing]
[cackles] My plan has worked splendidly.
[laughing]
Und to think, I did all of this by meinself. Ja!
All alone, I brought the statue forth.
I made the plan. I tricked everyone.
Und now, Das Blutwolf will return to this world!
[gasps] Und I did it with mein own little goaty-brain.
Hey, did you just say you did this?
Ja.
So, this is your fault!
Ja! Isn't it wonderful?
Guards! Grab him. He's the one.
Ja! I am the... What now?
No! Where are you taking me? [whimpering bleats]
Oh, woop!
Puss!
No, no!
Ack, no!
Puss, help me!
Let go of me.
[groaning]
This little goat weirdo is going to jail for, like, infinity years!
You guys are off the hook.
[all cheering]
Nice job, Manuel.
Manuel? No, no, no, no.
Did you not hear my announcement earlier during the fracas?
Honestly, there was a lot going on.
Wha... You are serious?
You did not see me over by the fountain with the guitar and the sword and...
[stutters]
Who else missed my earlier proclamation
about Manuel going away and Puss returning?
Yeah. Of course. Okay, everyone?
I need your eyes and ears on me.
I am afraid Manuel with Shoes is dead.
What? No. No! [groans]
Please, it was a rhetorical device.
[sobbing]
He was my best friend!
How did this happen? He was so young!
[wailing loudly]
Okay.
As I was saying, Manuel is dead.
Not literally.
But do not fear, for Puss in Boots... is back.
And I promise, I will never leave you again.
Now, you can make with the hoorays for me.
[all] Hooray!
[panting] Puss! It's Uli!
Yes, I know.
He has been apprehended for his crimes, all of our problems are solved,
and I have reminded myself of how great I am.
Dulcinea, you were right. I can make mistakes and still be amazing.
No. I overheard Uli talking in his cell about the Bloodwolf.
He's the only one who knows about his weaknesses!
He might know how we can stop him.
Puss, we have to get Uli back!
[Uli] Das Blutwolf will not be happy about this. Unhand me!
[bleating sobs]
[growling softly]
Gasp! No, no!
[guard grunting] [Uli whimpering]
Oh! [mole king laughs]
[chortling]
This show is so great. That king is always sayin' stuff.
The guy needs a catchphrase. Like, "Hey, where's the cheese at?"
Oh! He said it. It's like he can read my mind.
Or like you don't have a mind at all, sweetie.
[banging] [Uli] I demand to be released.
[grunting] Das Blutwolf will not be happy
if his only helper is imprisoned upon his arrival.
Ahh, this guy!
Guards! Hoist him aloft!
Oh! Oh!
You're gonna be in that cell for a long time
and nothing you say or do is gonna change that.
Better get comfy.
Let me out! Let me out! Let me out, you swine!
Das Blutwolf is coming. I need to prepare things.
Let me out, you fiends!
[grunting]
[clangs] [whimpers]
[bleating sob, whimpers]
What are we going to do? I don't know.
Wait, I have an idea.
Ah! You are so brilliant.
[laughs] You flatter me, handsy puppet.
Pardon me. Oh, Mole King!
Huh? What?
[groans]
Speak, peasant.
I was just wondering, does the king like puppetry of the hands?
[softly] What the junk is he talking about?
[mumbles] I don't know.
Surely a wise king such as yourself
knows a thing or two about handsy puppets?
Yeah, obviously, I know what that thing you just said is or are.
Uh, but remind me.
Gladly. Like... so.
[Uli talks in child's voice] Ah! Hello, Hans.
[Uli talks in guttural voice] Oh, guten morgen, Johan.
Do you want to visit the Maypole mit me?
Ja, I would love to celebrate midsummer mit you.
[laughing] Oh, look at those little guys!
The end.
Ah! You like mein puppet show, ja?
I am winning you over, ja? We are now friends, ja?
What? Nuh-uh.
[growls softly] I hate you and all the stuff you just did.
It's dumb and wrong. Quit it.
Do not anger the mole king!
Seriously, he's just the worst when he's mad.
Like a bear. Who's on fire.
As you wish, oh, great king und queen.
[scoffs]
Huh?
It's dumb. It's definitely dumb.
[Uli giggles maniacally]
With my confidence thusly restored, I promise you,
I will march down there, fight everyone with effortless skill, and reclaim Uli.
[chuckles]
This is the part where you cheer.
- Yay... Huh? - Uh...
Puss, we're all glad you're back to your old self,
but you're gonna need more than just confidence
if you wanna get Uli back. [sword clangs]
Well, obviously, I will also need charm and wit.
And a catchphrase!
Perhaps something about cheese?
No! You're gonna need an army!
There must be hundreds of soldiers down there.
[grunting, chuckles]
Hundreds of soldiers who I feel very bad for,
because they will soon meet my newly-confident blade.
Ha! Now, on to victory. [screams] Yeah-ha!
[scream continues, fading]
Uh-oh.
[thudding] [Puss groaning]
[Puss groans] I am okay. I am moving forward.
Okay, seriously, what's the plan?
[muffled] What are you talking about?
The plan is, Puss goes down there, does a bunch of fighty stuff
and saves the day. Yay!
[dramatic gasp] The pig can talk!
Artephius?
[gasps] And the cat knows my name!
Oh, this is a nightmare! Nothing makes sense anymore!
[groans]
Anyway... I agree.
We're gonna need an actual plan for when Puss gets back.
Yes. Assuming Puss actually makes it out of there ali... Ahem.
A-L-I-V-E.
Olive? We have olives?
[gasps] Where? In the cantina?
[groans] [Artephius groans]
[up-tempo accordion music] [all cheering, laughing]
Goaty-man! Yeah!
[all chanting] Uli! Uli! Uli! Uli!
[chanting continues]
[Uli giggling]
I've never seen this one before. It's crazy!
Look at that little guy play that tiny sideways piano bag.
[music stops] [all applauding]
Thank you, thank you.
That is mein favorite folk song about a charming village
whose kindly townsfolk succumb to the plague.
[cackles, mutters]
More!
Encore!
Hurrah!
What do you say, mein king? Shall I play more?
Yeah!
I mean, um, I don't care. Do whatever you want.
Well, in that case, perhaps you could free me from this cage.
I can play much more expressively when I am free.
[plays notes]
We want the goaty-man!
Play more!
Let him out!
- Yeah. - Yeah!
[all] Let him out! Let him out! Let him out!
Well, I don't know.
No! Moley, he's the one who raised our kingdoms up into the sky!
He must pay for his treachery.
Yeah, what she said.
You're stayin' in that cell until you learn your lesson.
And after that, you're stayin' in there until you die.
And after that, you're still stayin' in there because I'm mad!
- You tell him, shug. - Hmm.
[Puss] Mole King!
I am here to take my prisoner back. [gasps]
You may have defeated Manuel with Shoes,
but I promise, you will not fare so well with Puss in...
[gasps]
What? Puss in Boots? Here?
[laughs] Oh, that is rich.
You know you're outnumbered, like, a billion to one, right?
One newly-confident me is plenty.
Now, give me my prisoner.
- Puss! You came for me. - Huh?
I still despise you.
Oh. [mournful bleat]
Guards, take care of this. I gotta watch my show.
It's one where the king is saying stuff and then a bunch of other junk happens.
[guard shouts]
[grunting]
Huh?
[grunts]
[screams]
[all screaming]
[shouts, grunting]
Whoa! [guard screaming]
[screams] [grunts]
Puss!
[screams] [groaning]
[mole king laughs]
[shouts] Yeah!
Ha! Look at that footwork.
[both grunting] [swords clanging]
[Puss howls in excitement]
Ha-ha!
[grunts] Why do we play this game?
I know you still have feelings for me.
Only if you count blind rage as a feeling.
[queen snarls]
[panting] [queen chuckles]
[Puss grunts]
[queen grunting, growling]
[both grunting]
[mole king chuckling]
Oh! [gasps]
[groans]
[all gasp]
[guards groaning]
[soft gasp] It's my...
It's my bally.
Now, now, let us not overreact.
My... bally!
[shrieking]
Just wait a moment. Perhaps we can fix your bally.
[screaming maniacally]
You are surprisingly quick when you are angry.
[mole king growls] Whoa!
[growling]
We should discuss this.
[screams] Bally!
Maybe this is a good thing.
Think of all the free time you'll have without your bally.
You ruined my bally!
[sobs] My bally! My bally!
[shouts] My bally! [yowls]
[groaning]
[mole king growling] [grunts]
[shouting, grunting]
[crashing]
[groans]
[footsteps crashing]
[panting]
[growling]
[chuckles] You call this a beating?
Stay down. Stay down.
[gasping for breath]
I have had no fewer than seven beatings that were far worse than this.
[coughs]
Ow. Ow.
[Uli] Ha-ha!
It looks like you are not the great hero you thought you were.
Perhaps you are correct, Uli.
Maybe I can get my old job back as a crossing guard.
Stop. Go. Stop.
[groans softly] I still have it.
Und now that you are beaten, you cannot fulfill the Great Prophecy.
Great Prophecy?
Ja! The Great Prophecy says
there is only one who has a chance of defeating Das Blutwolf,
und this one is a very special cat.
[laughs maniacally]
Aah! I have given away something important, I fear.
Stupid Uli. Stupid Uli. Stupid Uli.
A very special cat!
This can only be me. I am a hero.
I am the hero of the Great Prophecy. I am The One!
Enough talking!
I'm still mad about my bally!
[screams]
Do your worst, King. You cannot hurt the hero of the Great...
[smacking] [Puss groaning]
[Puss grunts]
I was wrong about the hurting!
[screaming]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... [screams]
I am The One! [grunts]
[groans, panting]
[mole king shouting] Bally!
[mole king screaming loudly] [gasps]
[screaming continues] [panting]
[sighs] Uh...
Dulcinea, do you think Puss is coming back soon?
[screams] Aah!
The monster! It's got me! It's got me! It's got me!
Toby, Toby! It's me, Puss! [Toby screaming]
Oh. Hi, Puss.
[grunts]
[panting]
How did it go?
Did you get him?
Did you fight a million soldiers?
Uh... [chuckling]
Okay, remember how you all were telling me that all I needed was confidence?
Literally no one said that.
[grunts]
Well... the good news:
I have learned that I am the hero of the Great Prophecy
and my confidence is now supreme.
[groans]
So, you didn't get Uli.
Yeah... [stammers] Um, uh...
No. But did you not hear what I just said?
I now know that I am The One.
And as The One, I know how to rescue Uli.
I will immediately apply my mighty head bone to this problem.
[cracks knuckles]
[flamenco music plays] [straining]
[continues straining]
Puss, maybe...
Do not interrupt the work of my head bone.
Its power could destroy us all.
[continues straining]
He's gonna give himself a headache.
Yield before me, planning problem.
Yield before... [shouts] The One!
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