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Previously on No Tomorrow...
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I have real feelings for you.
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I'm not ready for this to be over.
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I do not wish to be
involved with you any longer.
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Will you make me the
happiest man in the world
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for the third time?
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I accept your proposition.
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(Deirdre and Pete laugh)
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No one cares about the math, bro.
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That's not your story.
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Xavier is.
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Theoretically, if I
had been dishonest...
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Sorry, I wasn't listening.
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I was just researching Evie's boyfriend.
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Fernie?
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Without Fern's skilled
money-raising efforts,
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you are now manning a sinking ship.
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He's not who he says he is.
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His name isn't even Xavier Holliday.
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Oh, my God.
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Who the hell are you?
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You lied to me.
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Your real name is Hamish Stegner, Jr.,
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and you have a criminal record?
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Why wouldn't you tell me any of this?
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(Chuckles)
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Look, I needed a fresh start,
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so I changed my name.
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And that rap sheet?
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Eight arrests in five months?
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Yeah, okay, so there's a
little light trespassing,
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some disorderly conduct and
a splash of public indecency,
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but, I mean, this is pretty normal
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youthful rebellion where I'm from.
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Well, I'm trying to
figure out who you are.
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- Oh, come on.
- I don't know if you're Xavier
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- or Hamish...
- Relax.
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- or some kind of con man.
- Relax.
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No, I came to you, giving
you the benefit of the doubt,
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hoping for an explanation,
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and you're acting like
I'm being irrational.
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Yeah, because this stuff
just isn't relevant anymore.
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And when the clock is ticking,
what is the point of...
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of digging up the past?
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I think it matters.
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Well, I promise you,
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it just doesn't.
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Then I just...
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I need some time to think.
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(Both sigh)
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= synced and corrected by Shahrazade =
... www.addic7ed.com ...
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EVIE: It's kind of unforgiveable, right?
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If you found out Sofia used to be...
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a diamond smuggler named Angelina...
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You just described one of
our role-play scenarios,
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like, scary accurately.
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You're not helping.
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I know. Sorry.
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But honestly I think I'd
give Sofia a free pass.
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Apart from the fact that
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my brother hates me
and maybe always will,
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I can't believe how much
I like being engaged.
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Ugh, after witnessing Deirdre
accept Three-Pete's proposal,
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that word sounds like
scissors in a garbage disposal.
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She divorced him twice already.
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Like, it's so obvious that
she should clearly be with...
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DEIRDRE: Hank, Kareema,
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Evie.
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I just got off the phone with Corporate,
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and they are concerned
that it will be difficult
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to get CyberHugs back on track,
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now that we've been so
callously burned by Fern.
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(Whispers): #FernBurn.
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Well, it will definitely
be an uphill battle,
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but I am confident we can
turn CyberHugs back around.
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Indeed.
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I told them you were so inspired
by my thoughtful leadership
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that you've already started vetting
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a splashy new charity for CyberHugs.
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What?
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Corporate will be here
in a matter of days
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to note your progress.
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Chop, chop.
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Ugh.
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Was that weird?
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It seemed weird.
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Can I have your bacon?
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(Whispers): Okay.
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Yeah, I know these terrariums
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build a better future
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for the tree frogs,
but what if they start
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to deny where they came from?
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So, I think I speak for everyone
when I say, how can I trust you?
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Your logo is how people know you.
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It's... it's who you are.
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You can't just change who you are.
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Got a little Xav on the brain?
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- Possibly.
- HANK: You know what I've noticed
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since taking over your
quality control job?
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What, the dollies in
fulfillment are always sticky?
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- Yeah, that.
- I know.
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But, um, but, also,
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you have to think
super logically all day.
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And that rational brain of yours
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has been on sleep mode
for a couple months.
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Strap in, fire it up,
tackle this Xavier thing
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with some cold, hard Evie logic.
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And... still nothing.
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Dude, I'm on hour 19 of
radio silence from Evie.
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Yeah. New name, criminal record...
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it's a bit of a bombshell, man.
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You got to let her
soak on that for awhile.
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So I changed my name?
People do it all the time.
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Woody Allen. Jon Stewart.
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Pink.
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Xavier Holliday is who I am,
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and it's who she fell in love with.
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Hamish Stegner, Jr., is
about as relevant as...
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as this Romney campaign poster.
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Dude...
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how good does this guy look now?
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Yeah.
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Look, I think Evie just feels duped,
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like she doesn't know the real you,
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so just show her that she does.
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Yeah.
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(Drums and electric
guitar playing outside)
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XAVIER: Hey.
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I know that you feel betrayed,
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and I know that you feel
like you don't know me,
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and I am here
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to tell you that you do.
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I am that same guy who you
jumped off a cliff with.
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I'm the same guy who
wrote you street poetry,
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and I am the same guy
who turns up at your house
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and does spontaneous stuff
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to remind you to live in the moment.
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And that's why I brought in
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Seattle's premier Whitesnake
cover band, Albino Cobra,
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to play a private concert
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just for you on your lawn.
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- Xavier...
- And before you say anything,
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we have the noise permits.
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Xavier.
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You're right.
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You have shown me how
to live in the moment.
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I've had more fun since I
met you than... well, ever.
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But then I took another
look at everything.
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You told me your mom died
while you were in college.
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The dates of those arrests,
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they're right after
her death, aren't they?
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Yeah. I was broken and I acted out.
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And your name, Hamish Stegner, Jr....
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it's clear that you changed
it because of your father
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and, you know, whatever
went on between you two.
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Look, it's a messy, complicated story.
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Yeah, and I asked you to tell it.
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I begged you to...
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and you wouldn't.
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Hey.
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Fine.
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Fine, then ask me whatever you want.
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No, it's-it's too late.
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You know, I've had this...
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this wave of rationality finally hit me.
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You lied about your debt,
your past, your name,
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and you just shrugged it all off.
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You know, I can't be
the girl in the romcom
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who overlooks serious issues
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just because the guy is charming.
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You've convinced yourself
the past doesn't matter
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because you're afraid to confront it.
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You need to face your mother's death
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and whatever happened with your dad.
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I was just... I don't know,
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waiting for the right
time. I don't know.
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You tell everyone to face their
fears while there's still time,
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but you refuse to face yours.
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(Clears throat)
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Look, our pasts make us who we are,
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and you're in denial of yours.
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(Sighs)
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I can't be with someone who
refuses to be his whole self.
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This is over, Xavier.
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Thanks for joining me.
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I needed a post-breakup drinking buddy.
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TIMOTHY: How about two?
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I invited T-Time.
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Since we're all fresh
out of relationships,
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I thought it was time to
reunite Destiny's Child.
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Yeah, the broken hearts club version.
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We are survivors.
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We are irreplaceable.
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So, let's rack up some bills,
bills, bills at this bar.
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I don't know if I can
keep on survivin', guys.
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I'm drawn to Deirdre like a magnet,
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but now she's more off-limits than ever.
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How do I fix it?
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Like, how do you turn off a magnet?
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- Well, in some cases, the polarity...
- (Phone vibrates)
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Hello?
202
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DEIRDRE: Come over right now.
203
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- I need you.
- Oh, okay.
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Magnet fixed.
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You guys just do whatev...
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(Evie chuckles)
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♪ Almost forgot to breathe... ♪
208
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Uh, hey, listen...
209
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I hope you know that
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when I gave you that
information on Xavier,
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- I wasn't trying to...
- Oh, I know.
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But I'm glad I found out.
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You know, it...
214
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forced me to confront a
few things that, honestly,
215
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I had been avoiding for too long.
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In fact... uh...
217
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Hey, uh, can you throw
this away for me? Thanks.
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What? No more apocalysting?
219
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That was Xavier's thing.
220
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I need to figure out
who I am without him.
221
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Well, independent woman,
what's your first step?
222
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I don't know. What did you do when...
223
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When Fern, the maniacal embezzler,
224
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ditched me for Uruguay?
225
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I spent eight hours on
my couch in my underwear
226
00:09:03,154 --> 00:09:06,823
watching a Grocers' Blowout marathon.
227
00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:09,459
BOTH: You got souped!
228
00:09:09,461 --> 00:09:10,526
(Both laughing)
229
00:09:10,528 --> 00:09:12,061
- That was our show.
- Mm.
230
00:09:12,063 --> 00:09:13,450
Is Emerald Sitay still the host?
231
00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:16,566
Yeah, she's celebrating
her, like, 45th year there.
232
00:09:16,568 --> 00:09:18,201
- (Laughs)
- CROWD: Grocers' Blowout!
233
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- Oh, my gosh, what a woman.
- Mm.
234
00:09:20,505 --> 00:09:22,705
Remember when I looked
into being a contestant?
235
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But the wait list
was, like, three years,
236
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so you never signed up.
237
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You know what, I'm putting my
name on that wait list today.
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In three years I am winning
Grocers' Blowout.
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Well, good for you.
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(Both chuckle)
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DEIRDRE (groaning): Oh, God.
242
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Hi, Hank.
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I have a cold.
244
00:09:47,499 --> 00:09:49,265
- (Coughs)
- You called me over here
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to take care of your sick self?
246
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That's Pete's job now.
247
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Pete's in Wenatchee,
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scouting orchards for the wedding.
249
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He really wants people
to toast our marriage
250
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with freshly-pressed cider. (Coughs)
251
00:10:00,979 --> 00:10:02,345
Oh, that's great. Have a good one.
252
00:10:02,347 --> 00:10:03,613
No, no, Hank.
253
00:10:03,615 --> 00:10:04,614
(Sighs)
254
00:10:04,616 --> 00:10:06,716
I know our former romance
255
00:10:06,718 --> 00:10:08,985
muddies this request,
but you are the one person
256
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I need right now.
257
00:10:10,321 --> 00:10:11,888
(Sighs)
258
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:18,261
As my assistant, you never
took a single sick day.
259
00:10:18,263 --> 00:10:21,130
Which means you're either
a statistical outlier
260
00:10:21,132 --> 00:10:24,200
or you have discovered how to
fortify the human immune system.
261
00:10:24,202 --> 00:10:26,135
Maybe I have, maybe I haven't.
262
00:10:26,137 --> 00:10:27,803
Why can't you just ride this out?
263
00:10:27,805 --> 00:10:31,641
This is the week Archie
Fieri visits the warehouse.
264
00:10:31,643 --> 00:10:32,875
The fire inspector?
265
00:10:32,877 --> 00:10:34,577
DEIRDRE: He's the
toughest fire inspector
266
00:10:34,579 --> 00:10:36,412
in Seattle; some say it's because
267
00:10:36,414 --> 00:10:38,881
he lost his eyebrows in a terrible fire.
268
00:10:38,883 --> 00:10:42,852
And I am the only one who
knows how to avoid his fines.
269
00:10:42,854 --> 00:10:44,320
Then just reschedule.
270
00:10:44,322 --> 00:10:47,290
Archie Fieri reschedules for no one.
271
00:10:47,292 --> 00:10:49,959
That's actually written
on his business card.
272
00:10:49,961 --> 00:10:52,328
And he has the power to
shut down the warehouse
273
00:10:52,330 --> 00:10:54,321
until it's up to code.
274
00:10:54,646 --> 00:10:55,865
My warehouse.
275
00:10:55,867 --> 00:10:57,667
All right, all right.
276
00:10:57,669 --> 00:11:00,169
The Barkley family does
have a secret recipe
277
00:11:00,171 --> 00:11:01,592
for germ annihilation.
278
00:11:01,622 --> 00:11:03,339
It's called vitamin B13.
279
00:11:03,341 --> 00:11:05,741
It's like vitamin B12, but, you know,
280
00:11:05,743 --> 00:11:07,910
there's one more “B.”
281
00:11:07,912 --> 00:11:09,178
I'll make it for you tomorrow.
282
00:11:09,180 --> 00:11:10,446
What's in it?
283
00:11:10,448 --> 00:11:12,148
Uh... better if you didn't know.
284
00:11:12,617 --> 00:11:13,649
My stuff with my dad
285
00:11:13,651 --> 00:11:15,690
has nothing to do with our relationship.
286
00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:17,620
But she thinks we
can't really be together
287
00:11:17,622 --> 00:11:20,322
until I address it, but
that's not her call to make.
288
00:11:20,324 --> 00:11:21,374
Exactly.
289
00:11:21,404 --> 00:11:23,792
If you cared about this
thing with your dad,
290
00:11:23,794 --> 00:11:25,995
it'd be on that lyst of yours.
291
00:11:25,997 --> 00:11:28,433
“Talk to my dad” is number three.
292
00:11:28,639 --> 00:11:30,900
- Oh.
- Yeah.
293
00:11:31,175 --> 00:11:34,103
I just recently read
about this fringe therapist
294
00:11:34,105 --> 00:11:35,743
who believes you
shouldn't confront trauma
295
00:11:35,773 --> 00:11:39,008
until at least a decade
after it's happened.
296
00:11:39,010 --> 00:11:41,510
So, just wait till then.
297
00:11:41,512 --> 00:11:44,547
Right, except that,
at the ten-year mark,
298
00:11:44,549 --> 00:11:47,316
the Earth will be a smoldering
piece of space rubble.
299
00:11:47,318 --> 00:11:49,485
(Whispers): Yeah.
300
00:11:49,914 --> 00:11:51,868
You're running out of
excuses for me to use, huh?
301
00:11:51,898 --> 00:11:54,601
Really struggling here, yeah.
302
00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:55,902
Listen, I get that you're afraid...
303
00:11:55,932 --> 00:11:58,327
I'm not afraid of talking to my dad.
304
00:11:58,329 --> 00:12:00,129
It's simply that it would require me
305
00:12:00,131 --> 00:12:02,398
to address some
deep-seated emotional damage
306
00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:05,735
that I would rather not
explore at this juncture.
307
00:12:09,273 --> 00:12:11,073
Yeah, I just heard myself, too.
308
00:12:11,075 --> 00:12:12,408
Yeah.
309
00:12:14,370 --> 00:12:16,746
(Camera clicking)
310
00:12:21,886 --> 00:12:25,287
(Camera clicking)
311
00:12:26,210 --> 00:12:26,998
Thank you for letting me
312
00:12:27,028 --> 00:12:28,524
crash your lunch break.
313
00:12:28,526 --> 00:12:30,126
I think I'm gonna call this series
314
00:12:30,128 --> 00:12:34,029
“Warehouse Faces. A Study
of Capitalist Oppression.”
315
00:12:37,135 --> 00:12:39,555
Uh-oh. What's wrong with
my immigration paperwork?
316
00:12:39,585 --> 00:12:42,138
It says here that the I.N.S. is
gonna look into my work history,
317
00:12:42,140 --> 00:12:44,039
including performance evaluations.
318
00:12:44,041 --> 00:12:46,580
- So?
- So...
319
00:12:46,871 --> 00:12:48,544
I barely try at this job.
320
00:12:48,546 --> 00:12:50,446
I mean, I've never
looked at my evaluations,
321
00:12:50,448 --> 00:12:52,314
but I'm sure they say things like,
322
00:12:52,316 --> 00:12:55,117
“Kareema barely tries at this job.”
323
00:12:57,622 --> 00:13:00,489
Well, maybe it's not too
late to turn it around.
324
00:13:00,491 --> 00:13:02,591
Make sure you get some
good customer reviews
325
00:13:02,593 --> 00:13:04,093
before the end of next week.
326
00:13:04,095 --> 00:13:06,529
(Sighs): Yeah, yeah, yeah.
327
00:13:06,531 --> 00:13:08,664
You def deserve a full
refund on that hair spray.
328
00:13:08,666 --> 00:13:12,434
I am sending you a
shipping label right now.
329
00:13:12,436 --> 00:13:14,503
Ooh, Cedar Rapids.
330
00:13:14,505 --> 00:13:18,240
See ya later, Iowa-Stater. (Giggles)
331
00:13:18,242 --> 00:13:21,143
You've definitely never been
that nice on a call before.
332
00:13:21,145 --> 00:13:23,979
Ugh, niceness is exhausting.
333
00:13:23,981 --> 00:13:26,582
No wonder you stay so
thin without exercising.
334
00:13:27,002 --> 00:13:27,950
Did you find
335
00:13:27,952 --> 00:13:29,353
a splashy charity yet?
336
00:13:29,383 --> 00:13:31,120
I did. Uh, Forks in the Road.
337
00:13:31,122 --> 00:13:32,721
It's actually a really neat organization
338
00:13:32,723 --> 00:13:34,490
that delivers fresh
food to the homeless.
339
00:13:34,492 --> 00:13:36,759
I used to volunteer for them in college.
340
00:13:36,761 --> 00:13:40,496
I'm not afraid of digging into my past.
341
00:13:40,498 --> 00:13:42,198
You know, I can see actual waves
342
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:44,266
of passive aggression
emanating from you right now.
343
00:13:44,268 --> 00:13:46,235
Sorry. I'm just frustrated.
344
00:13:46,237 --> 00:13:48,237
This was just delivered to me.
345
00:13:48,267 --> 00:13:50,411
_
346
00:13:50,441 --> 00:13:52,241
What does it mean?
347
00:13:52,243 --> 00:13:54,677
It means Xavier still doesn't get it.
348
00:13:54,679 --> 00:13:56,912
He thinks he can win me
over with big gestures,
349
00:13:56,914 --> 00:13:59,048
like they're some kind
of drug I'm hooked on.
350
00:13:59,050 --> 00:14:00,716
Anyone have any codeine?
351
00:14:02,384 --> 00:14:04,186
You keep your codeine in a can?
352
00:14:04,188 --> 00:14:05,888
What do you keep yours in?
353
00:14:12,607 --> 00:14:14,029
(Sighs)
354
00:14:14,031 --> 00:14:17,166
(Line ringing)
355
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:19,902
OPERATOR: Mathematics Department.
356
00:14:19,904 --> 00:14:22,271
Hi. Uh, Professor Stegner, please.
357
00:14:22,273 --> 00:14:24,473
(Phone clicks, beeps)
358
00:14:26,510 --> 00:14:28,610
HAMISH: This is Hamish speaking.
359
00:14:28,813 --> 00:14:30,264
Hi, Dad.
360
00:14:35,046 --> 00:14:36,488
(Knocks)
361
00:14:36,916 --> 00:14:39,187
- Hi.
- Hi. Um...
362
00:14:40,522 --> 00:14:41,989
Look, I... I know
363
00:14:42,019 --> 00:14:43,252
it can't be easy for you right now.
364
00:14:43,282 --> 00:14:44,958
It's... it's not easy for me either.
365
00:14:44,988 --> 00:14:46,177
But, you know, trying to win me back
366
00:14:46,207 --> 00:14:48,073
with another adventure
just won't help anything.
367
00:14:48,075 --> 00:14:49,274
Evie, I'm not trying to win you back.
368
00:14:49,276 --> 00:14:50,609
I know you think it's charming.
369
00:14:50,611 --> 00:14:52,211
Evie, I-I don't...
370
00:14:52,213 --> 00:14:55,013
I don't know who sent this
to you, but it wasn't me.
371
00:14:55,544 --> 00:14:57,049
And, look, I'm really happy to see you,
372
00:14:57,051 --> 00:14:58,784
but your timing isn't great.
373
00:14:58,786 --> 00:15:00,937
I called my dad last night.
374
00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:02,588
And we've arranged to meet.
375
00:15:02,590 --> 00:15:05,257
He's on his way here right now.
376
00:15:05,259 --> 00:15:07,392
Wow. So you actually did it.
377
00:15:07,394 --> 00:15:08,889
(Sighs) Yeah.
378
00:15:08,919 --> 00:15:11,159
And the hardest part's still to come.
379
00:15:11,189 --> 00:15:13,402
Well, you'll get through it.
380
00:15:13,432 --> 00:15:15,082
You know, I have faith.
381
00:15:16,367 --> 00:15:17,569
Yeah, well, look.
382
00:15:17,571 --> 00:15:21,006
Have fun on whatever
adventure awaits you.
383
00:15:21,008 --> 00:15:23,355
Maybe you can tell me about it later.
384
00:15:29,467 --> 00:15:31,183
(Sighs): Oh, my God.
385
00:15:37,693 --> 00:15:39,743
You haven't changed a bit, son.
386
00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:42,760
Dad.
387
00:15:45,032 --> 00:15:47,866
(Both grunt)
388
00:15:48,700 --> 00:15:50,869
XAVIER: I apologize.
389
00:15:51,071 --> 00:15:52,704
It's just, I've been fantasizing
390
00:15:52,706 --> 00:15:54,728
about doing that for a very long time.
391
00:15:54,758 --> 00:15:58,460
Yeah, well, I hope it was
everything you dreamed of.
392
00:16:02,533 --> 00:16:03,999
You brought her.
393
00:16:04,299 --> 00:16:05,299
Yeah.
394
00:16:07,035 --> 00:16:08,735
I think you deserve her.
395
00:16:10,708 --> 00:16:13,508
I'm gonna make some proper tea.
396
00:16:15,312 --> 00:16:16,694
Hello?
397
00:16:19,536 --> 00:16:21,608
Did the B13 work?
398
00:16:21,638 --> 00:16:23,095
DEIRDRE: Hank!
399
00:16:23,523 --> 00:16:24,920
Whoa!
400
00:16:24,922 --> 00:16:26,622
Sweet Snowden's Wi-Fi!
401
00:16:26,624 --> 00:16:28,690
I have hives, vertigo
402
00:16:28,692 --> 00:16:31,126
and a grotesquely swollen ear canal.
403
00:16:31,128 --> 00:16:33,996
Are you sure you made the B13 correctly?
404
00:16:33,998 --> 00:16:36,131
Yes. Okay, okay.
405
00:16:36,133 --> 00:16:38,800
Yeah. I put codeine,
garlic, keyboard cleaner,
406
00:16:38,802 --> 00:16:40,969
a teaspoon of powdered kumquat.
407
00:16:40,971 --> 00:16:42,337
Ah! Allergic to kumquat.
408
00:16:42,339 --> 00:16:44,072
- What are we gonna do?
- Okay, all right.
409
00:16:44,074 --> 00:16:46,708
First, just, you know, let yourself go.
410
00:16:46,710 --> 00:16:48,977
Just let gravity have
its way with you, girl.
411
00:16:48,979 --> 00:16:50,536
All right? Okay.
412
00:16:50,566 --> 00:16:53,015
- There you go. Look at that.
- (Groans)
413
00:16:53,017 --> 00:16:55,574
The floor's like a big pillow.
414
00:16:55,604 --> 00:16:58,186
Listen. Let me show
Archie around, all right?
415
00:16:58,188 --> 00:17:00,722
Just teach me how to
get everything ready
416
00:17:00,724 --> 00:17:02,491
and answer his trick questions.
417
00:17:02,493 --> 00:17:04,893
(Gasps)
418
00:17:04,895 --> 00:17:09,464
I saw a motion picture on
cable television yesterday.
419
00:17:09,466 --> 00:17:12,401
It's called Roxanne.
420
00:17:12,403 --> 00:17:16,292
What if I fed you the answers
like in Roxanne?
421
00:17:16,322 --> 00:17:17,940
Like Cyrano de Bergerac.
422
00:17:17,942 --> 00:17:20,152
Please, don't speak French around me.
423
00:17:20,182 --> 00:17:22,632
You know how I feel about that country.
424
00:17:24,243 --> 00:17:26,481
I like the window treatments.
425
00:17:26,726 --> 00:17:29,418
They're very, uh... breezy.
426
00:17:31,242 --> 00:17:33,322
I don't want to talk about the windows.
427
00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:36,263
I want to talk about what you did.
428
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:39,706
Well, I thought we might
just kind of ramp up to that.
429
00:17:39,736 --> 00:17:40,729
Well, I've been
430
00:17:40,731 --> 00:17:42,897
ramping up to that for nine years, so...
431
00:17:42,899 --> 00:17:44,609
(Phone vibrating)
432
00:17:45,328 --> 00:17:46,665
Oh, I'm so sorry.
433
00:17:46,695 --> 00:17:48,470
I told her to only call
if it was an emergency,
434
00:17:48,472 --> 00:17:49,810
so this might be.
435
00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:52,340
Hi. Is everything okay?
436
00:17:52,342 --> 00:17:54,776
Oh, hi, Zoey. Yes.
437
00:17:54,778 --> 00:17:57,281
I can do your homework with you
when I get back to the hotel,
438
00:17:57,311 --> 00:17:58,778
but I'm in the middle
of something right now,
439
00:17:58,808 --> 00:18:00,382
so I've got to go.
440
00:18:00,384 --> 00:18:02,284
Bye-bye.
441
00:18:02,286 --> 00:18:05,120
Are you kidding me?
442
00:18:05,497 --> 00:18:07,089
You brought them to Seattle?
443
00:18:07,616 --> 00:18:09,762
Well, I... I thought
that if this went well,
444
00:18:09,792 --> 00:18:10,859
you might want to meet them.
445
00:18:10,861 --> 00:18:12,527
Oh, my God.
446
00:18:13,099 --> 00:18:15,363
I don't remember you
helping me with my homework.
447
00:18:15,365 --> 00:18:17,232
Or anything, for that matter.
448
00:18:17,234 --> 00:18:18,906
I remember looking after Mom
449
00:18:18,936 --> 00:18:20,369
when you were nowhere to be found,
450
00:18:20,371 --> 00:18:22,525
because you were starting
a new family with Rose,
451
00:18:22,555 --> 00:18:23,805
and having Zoey, who, by the way,
452
00:18:23,807 --> 00:18:27,581
was born five months after Mom died.
453
00:18:28,148 --> 00:18:32,137
I... I had to watch
Mom die all on my own.
454
00:18:32,167 --> 00:18:34,483
Once again you made it very clear
455
00:18:34,731 --> 00:18:37,219
which family actually matters to you.
456
00:18:41,558 --> 00:18:43,759
(Clears throat)
457
00:18:56,006 --> 00:18:58,273
♪♪
458
00:19:03,914 --> 00:19:06,081
(Sighs)
459
00:19:23,025 --> 00:19:24,466
EVIE: We bought that map
460
00:19:24,468 --> 00:19:27,202
at a city planning fair four years ago.
461
00:19:27,204 --> 00:19:29,972
Okay. I was worried you
weren't gonna put it together.
462
00:19:29,974 --> 00:19:33,475
Timothy Finger and Evie
Covington, checking in.
463
00:19:33,477 --> 00:19:35,077
Okay, go on in.
464
00:19:35,079 --> 00:19:36,214
How'd you make this happen?
465
00:19:36,244 --> 00:19:38,046
Do you remember that video
of me at the STEVEN-Spiel?
466
00:19:38,048 --> 00:19:39,948
I've always felt... Oh, good Lord!
467
00:19:39,950 --> 00:19:44,186
Well, it's resulted in
some mild local notoriety.
468
00:19:44,712 --> 00:19:46,521
So I leveraged that notoriety
469
00:19:46,523 --> 00:19:49,351
to help us cut the wait
list to be a contestant on...
470
00:19:49,381 --> 00:19:51,293
ALL: Grocers' Blowout!
471
00:19:51,295 --> 00:19:53,962
ANNOUNCER: With Emerald Sitay.
472
00:19:53,964 --> 00:19:55,297
(Audience cheering)
473
00:19:55,299 --> 00:19:57,517
(Laughs)
474
00:19:57,547 --> 00:19:59,306
KAREEMA: Kareema,
queen of customer care.
475
00:19:59,336 --> 00:20:00,668
How can I help you?
476
00:20:00,670 --> 00:20:02,137
Uh-huh.
477
00:20:02,139 --> 00:20:03,605
Ooh, that sounds bad.
478
00:20:03,607 --> 00:20:05,520
I can send you a return shipping label.
479
00:20:05,550 --> 00:20:06,526
What's your address?
480
00:20:06,556 --> 00:20:09,216
Hey. Uh, I'm gonna run
around the warehouse and check
481
00:20:09,246 --> 00:20:11,480
all the emergency exit
signs. You want to help?
482
00:20:11,482 --> 00:20:12,981
I can't.
483
00:20:12,983 --> 00:20:15,083
Customers have started requesting me.
484
00:20:15,085 --> 00:20:17,686
I'm a Cybermart siren; it's a nightmare.
485
00:20:17,688 --> 00:20:19,254
- (Computer dings)
- Ugh.
486
00:20:19,939 --> 00:20:21,469
And now they're gonna reward me for it.
487
00:20:21,499 --> 00:20:23,733
- I do such idiotic things for love.
- _
488
00:20:23,763 --> 00:20:25,300
And sex.
489
00:20:25,330 --> 00:20:26,361
Mostly sex.
490
00:20:26,363 --> 00:20:29,364
Yeah. Well, if you can't
help me, where's Evie?
491
00:20:29,366 --> 00:20:30,999
I don't know; she's
still on her lunch break.
492
00:20:31,001 --> 00:20:32,000
Still?
493
00:20:32,002 --> 00:20:33,635
What kind of lunch takes so damn long?
494
00:20:33,637 --> 00:20:35,937
- (Buzzers sounding)
- Bananas flambé.
495
00:20:35,939 --> 00:20:37,072
Waldorf Salad.
496
00:20:37,074 --> 00:20:38,574
Orville Redenbacher.
497
00:20:39,243 --> 00:20:41,143
- Mm! Yes!
- CROWD: Oh!
498
00:20:41,145 --> 00:20:42,511
(Crowd laughs)
499
00:20:42,513 --> 00:20:44,813
Still Life with Fruit and Ham.
500
00:20:44,815 --> 00:20:47,049
The portable juice box!
501
00:20:47,051 --> 00:20:48,817
- Got one!
- (Applause)
502
00:20:48,819 --> 00:20:51,319
Ah! Ooh! I got one, too!
503
00:20:51,321 --> 00:20:52,521
(Cheering)
504
00:20:52,523 --> 00:20:53,889
Final question.
505
00:20:53,891 --> 00:20:58,084
Whoever gets this wins
a $200 gift certificate
506
00:20:58,114 --> 00:21:01,602
good at any Seattle bar or restaurant.
507
00:21:01,632 --> 00:21:02,698
(Audience oohing)
508
00:21:02,700 --> 00:21:06,335
Four of the most powerful families
509
00:21:06,337 --> 00:21:11,907
in ancient Rome took their
names from what kind of food?
510
00:21:11,909 --> 00:21:13,523
- (Gasps)
- (Dinging)
511
00:21:13,712 --> 00:21:15,192
Beans!
512
00:21:15,363 --> 00:21:17,110
- Yes!
- Evie!
513
00:21:17,140 --> 00:21:19,982
- You are wrong!
- (Buzzer sounds)
514
00:21:19,984 --> 00:21:22,725
Timothy, for the steal.
515
00:21:22,755 --> 00:21:23,799
That would be legumes.
516
00:21:23,829 --> 00:21:25,826
- (Dinging)
- (Laughs)
517
00:21:25,856 --> 00:21:27,823
(Audience cheering)
518
00:21:28,146 --> 00:21:32,254
Tim Finger, you are today's winner!
519
00:21:33,377 --> 00:21:34,869
Evie.
520
00:21:35,444 --> 00:21:36,965
As today's loser...
521
00:21:38,637 --> 00:21:39,901
(Siren wailing)
522
00:21:39,931 --> 00:21:41,893
(Screams, laughs)
523
00:21:43,741 --> 00:21:47,042
EMERALD AND AUDIENCE: You got souped!
524
00:21:47,044 --> 00:21:50,045
(Audience cheering)
525
00:21:50,047 --> 00:21:51,680
(Coughs)
526
00:21:51,682 --> 00:21:54,016
- That was a blast!
- (Laughs)
527
00:21:54,018 --> 00:21:56,618
Yeah, I thought you might like that.
528
00:21:57,286 --> 00:21:58,587
And...
529
00:21:59,489 --> 00:22:00,989
I think you should cross it off.
530
00:22:01,543 --> 00:22:02,929
What? I...
531
00:22:02,959 --> 00:22:04,689
But I threw this away.
532
00:22:04,719 --> 00:22:07,729
Yeah. I... I had the
bartender fish it out.
533
00:22:07,731 --> 00:22:10,265
I know it's a Xavier thing. I know.
534
00:22:10,267 --> 00:22:13,335
But... but he didn't
make that list. You did.
535
00:22:13,906 --> 00:22:15,856
And it made you really happy.
536
00:22:15,891 --> 00:22:17,238
Maybe you don't need
537
00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:19,474
to throw out the baby
with the bathwater.
538
00:22:21,369 --> 00:22:23,183
_
539
00:22:23,213 --> 00:22:25,980
Thank you, Timothy.
540
00:22:27,584 --> 00:22:29,851
♪♪
541
00:22:34,458 --> 00:22:36,358
Ooh. You got some parsley in your hair.
542
00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:38,293
(Chuckles): Oh.
543
00:22:38,295 --> 00:22:40,300
(Chuckles)
544
00:22:40,330 --> 00:22:42,063
Hey, this was fun.
545
00:22:42,065 --> 00:22:44,366
- Mm-hmm.
- Let me know if you ever want
546
00:22:44,368 --> 00:22:46,501
to cross off a couple more together.
547
00:22:46,503 --> 00:22:48,503
(Chuckles)
548
00:22:51,103 --> 00:22:53,370
I tried, Mom.
549
00:22:54,310 --> 00:22:56,773
I really tried.
550
00:22:56,775 --> 00:23:00,280
(Exhales) I swear, he
doesn't even realize
551
00:23:00,310 --> 00:23:02,369
how much he abandoned us.
552
00:23:04,404 --> 00:23:06,354
- (Sniffles)
- ROSE: Xavier?
553
00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:12,187
(Clears throat)
554
00:23:12,546 --> 00:23:14,662
May I? Please?
555
00:23:14,692 --> 00:23:16,225
Yep. Fine.
556
00:23:16,227 --> 00:23:19,362
But I'm not subjecting
my mother to this.
557
00:23:23,167 --> 00:23:25,134
I know you don't like me.
558
00:23:25,936 --> 00:23:27,370
I know you'll always think of me
559
00:23:27,372 --> 00:23:28,904
as your father's mistress.
560
00:23:28,906 --> 00:23:32,208
Yeah, well, it's a pretty
fair thing to think, isn't it?
561
00:23:32,752 --> 00:23:34,874
Did Hamish ever tell
you where he met me?
562
00:23:34,904 --> 00:23:38,180
Uh, nope. Never came up in the
nine years we weren't speaking.
563
00:23:38,182 --> 00:23:39,615
We met in a support group
564
00:23:39,617 --> 00:23:42,723
for people with
terminally ill loved ones.
565
00:23:43,733 --> 00:23:46,088
It was the absolute
worst year of our lives.
566
00:23:46,090 --> 00:23:48,491
We'd go to those meetings
and drink the cheap tea
567
00:23:48,493 --> 00:23:51,885
and listen to sad sacks
as miserable as we were.
568
00:23:52,347 --> 00:23:54,764
But it was a way to avoid going home.
569
00:23:55,651 --> 00:23:58,301
I needed him at home.
570
00:23:58,303 --> 00:24:00,636
I know.
571
00:24:00,638 --> 00:24:03,239
And that's for you two to work out.
572
00:24:03,241 --> 00:24:06,309
But I also know that we both
felt like we were sinking
573
00:24:06,311 --> 00:24:08,911
and we needed something,
574
00:24:08,913 --> 00:24:11,213
someone to hold onto.
575
00:24:11,215 --> 00:24:14,550
And, in our misery, we found each other.
576
00:24:16,521 --> 00:24:19,819
Yeah, well, it's not how it
looks from where I'm sitting.
577
00:24:19,849 --> 00:24:22,892
If you think your father
didn't care about your mom,
578
00:24:22,894 --> 00:24:26,200
then you two really do need to talk.
579
00:24:27,275 --> 00:24:29,719
What Hamish and I have is special.
580
00:24:29,749 --> 00:24:32,501
But Tabitha was his true love.
581
00:24:34,105 --> 00:24:37,106
She'll always be the light of his life.
582
00:24:38,340 --> 00:24:40,260
He say that?
583
00:24:41,379 --> 00:24:43,762
He say she was the light of his life?
584
00:24:49,554 --> 00:24:52,388
I'm not supposed to tell you this,
585
00:24:52,937 --> 00:24:55,591
but do you know what your
father's missing to be here?
586
00:25:00,511 --> 00:25:02,599
_
587
00:25:02,629 --> 00:25:04,138
_
588
00:25:04,168 --> 00:25:07,336
Well, somebody has the
bounce back in their pounce.
589
00:25:07,338 --> 00:25:10,005
Did you have a little sex
with the ex with an "X"?
590
00:25:10,007 --> 00:25:11,330
No. Nothing like that.
591
00:25:11,360 --> 00:25:14,243
I just... had a lot of fun recently.
592
00:25:14,245 --> 00:25:16,545
With Timothy, actually.
593
00:25:16,547 --> 00:25:18,013
And I never should have underestimated
594
00:25:18,015 --> 00:25:19,749
how much I love lists.
595
00:25:19,751 --> 00:25:22,085
Goal-setting is so my jam.
596
00:25:22,115 --> 00:25:23,552
WOMAN: Kareema?
597
00:25:23,554 --> 00:25:25,146
- We need to talk.
- Oh! Right.
598
00:25:25,176 --> 00:25:26,464
If I've gotten some sort of award
599
00:25:26,494 --> 00:25:28,107
for Best Customer Service Ever,
600
00:25:28,137 --> 00:25:31,560
you can just fax a copy of
the certificate to the I.N.S.
601
00:25:31,562 --> 00:25:34,330
The only thing I'll
be faxing to the I.N.S.
602
00:25:34,332 --> 00:25:36,532
is a sad face emoji
603
00:25:36,534 --> 00:25:38,601
to represent how your
quality of work has plummeted
604
00:25:38,603 --> 00:25:40,536
- recently.
- Plummeted?
605
00:25:40,538 --> 00:25:41,937
You were the crown jewel
606
00:25:41,939 --> 00:25:43,839
of the customer service department.
607
00:25:43,841 --> 00:25:46,885
The sturdiest cog in the machine.
608
00:25:46,915 --> 00:25:49,178
Are you sure you mean Kareema?
609
00:25:49,180 --> 00:25:49,926
Yeah, are you sure?
610
00:25:49,956 --> 00:25:51,480
You kept phone call lengths
611
00:25:51,482 --> 00:25:52,871
to a record minimum.
612
00:25:52,901 --> 00:25:56,424
You were extremely strict
about returns on used items.
613
00:25:56,454 --> 00:25:58,220
The ideal customer service rep.
614
00:25:58,222 --> 00:25:59,086
Wha...?
615
00:25:59,116 --> 00:26:02,384
But I thought I was improving
the quality of my work.
616
00:26:02,414 --> 00:26:05,091
I don't even know who you are anymore.
617
00:26:05,673 --> 00:26:07,193
By the way, someone from Corporate
618
00:26:07,223 --> 00:26:08,998
is waiting for you in
the conference room.
619
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:11,508
(Gasps) Great. I'll just check in
620
00:26:11,538 --> 00:26:12,820
with my contact at Forks in the Road.
621
00:26:12,850 --> 00:26:15,863
You know, maybe he's stuck in traffic.
622
00:26:15,893 --> 00:26:18,179
Yeah.
623
00:26:18,209 --> 00:26:19,508
I don't understand.
624
00:26:19,510 --> 00:26:21,544
You were so excited about
partnering with CyberHugs.
625
00:26:21,546 --> 00:26:24,280
We were gonna be Fork Dorks together.
626
00:26:24,951 --> 00:26:26,524
I just saw you on TV.
627
00:26:26,554 --> 00:26:28,174
You wasted at least 30 gallons of soup.
628
00:26:28,204 --> 00:26:29,681
- Excuse me?
- You know how many hungry people
629
00:26:29,711 --> 00:26:31,559
could've eaten that soup?
630
00:26:31,589 --> 00:26:32,988
(Line beeps)
631
00:26:32,990 --> 00:26:35,691
(Exhales)
632
00:26:35,693 --> 00:26:37,193
I am so screwed.
633
00:26:37,195 --> 00:26:38,260
Not nailed.
634
00:26:38,262 --> 00:26:39,829
Per specifications.
635
00:26:39,831 --> 00:26:41,263
Well done.
636
00:26:41,265 --> 00:26:42,787
- DEIRDRE (over earpiece): Good job.
- (Grunts)
637
00:26:42,817 --> 00:26:45,451
So, you guys obviously do a
lot of restocking around here.
638
00:26:45,453 --> 00:26:47,153
How much aisle space do you leave
639
00:26:47,155 --> 00:26:48,955
in case of an emergency evacuation?
640
00:26:48,957 --> 00:26:52,558
DEIRDRE: It depends if it's
manual or mechanical restocking.
641
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:56,128
(Voice breaks): Uh...
manual or mechanical?
642
00:26:56,130 --> 00:26:57,463
Let's say mechanical.
643
00:26:57,465 --> 00:26:59,597
44 inches.
644
00:26:59,627 --> 00:27:01,167
44 inches.
645
00:27:01,169 --> 00:27:03,169
Uh, just give me one moment.
646
00:27:03,171 --> 00:27:05,671
Just... one moment.
647
00:27:05,673 --> 00:27:08,140
(Panting)
648
00:27:08,142 --> 00:27:09,642
(Quietly): I am so sorry.
649
00:27:09,644 --> 00:27:11,527
I thought that hearing
your voice electronically
650
00:27:11,557 --> 00:27:12,979
would offset the effect it had on me,
651
00:27:12,981 --> 00:27:16,749
but your illness has made
your voice even huskier,
652
00:27:16,751 --> 00:27:18,985
and it's elevating Douglas.
653
00:27:19,421 --> 00:27:20,386
I got to wing it.
654
00:27:20,388 --> 00:27:22,855
No, no, no, no. Hank, no!
655
00:27:22,857 --> 00:27:24,690
(Sighs)
656
00:27:26,931 --> 00:27:29,028
And if it's, uh, manual restocking?
657
00:27:29,030 --> 00:27:31,185
How much aisle space then?
658
00:27:31,215 --> 00:27:33,833
This much?
659
00:27:33,835 --> 00:27:36,402
- ARCHIE: $800 fine.
- (Gasps)
660
00:27:38,172 --> 00:27:39,568
Thanks for giving me another chance
661
00:27:39,598 --> 00:27:41,240
to explain this to you.
662
00:27:42,149 --> 00:27:43,433
Why didn't you tell me that you won
663
00:27:43,463 --> 00:27:46,463
the Waldo Weinberg
Mathematician of the Year Award?
664
00:27:46,493 --> 00:27:49,660
The award ceremony was last
night. Why didn't you tell me?
665
00:27:49,690 --> 00:27:51,190
It wasn't important.
666
00:27:51,508 --> 00:27:52,587
Wasn't important?
667
00:27:52,617 --> 00:27:55,193
You spent half my childhood
chasing that award.
668
00:27:55,223 --> 00:27:56,689
I remember sitting in the university
669
00:27:56,691 --> 00:27:58,491
by the copy machine
while you made copies
670
00:27:58,493 --> 00:27:59,658
of invariant theory.
671
00:27:59,660 --> 00:28:02,194
This means more.
672
00:28:02,196 --> 00:28:04,530
You, your mother.
673
00:28:04,944 --> 00:28:06,265
It all means more.
674
00:28:09,070 --> 00:28:11,904
I'm sorry, Xavier.
675
00:28:12,088 --> 00:28:15,851
I just didn't have the strength
to watch my soul mate fade away,
676
00:28:15,881 --> 00:28:18,505
one little piece at a time.
677
00:28:18,535 --> 00:28:20,335
Yeah, well, what about me?
678
00:28:21,525 --> 00:28:22,525
(Sighs)
679
00:28:23,933 --> 00:28:27,586
You know, Rose said that you
needed someone to cling to.
680
00:28:27,987 --> 00:28:30,389
So did I.
681
00:28:30,770 --> 00:28:33,459
I was all alone, right
in the thick of it.
682
00:28:33,461 --> 00:28:34,994
I was selfish.
683
00:28:34,996 --> 00:28:38,230
But I was searching for solace.
684
00:28:38,232 --> 00:28:41,133
And I found it somewhere unexpected.
685
00:28:44,138 --> 00:28:45,671
Yeah, well...
686
00:28:45,673 --> 00:28:47,623
I guess I can relate to that.
687
00:28:49,785 --> 00:28:54,324
I was recently dating this girl
688
00:28:54,354 --> 00:28:57,504
who said that I was running
away from what I feared.
689
00:28:59,220 --> 00:29:02,488
(Chuckles softly) Guess
it runs in the family, eh?
690
00:29:02,490 --> 00:29:03,761
Yeah.
691
00:29:04,783 --> 00:29:07,433
Fear can make us do
some things we regret.
692
00:29:11,228 --> 00:29:13,098
(Sighs) Look, I...
693
00:29:13,100 --> 00:29:17,303
I don't know if I'm
ready to bury the hatchet.
694
00:29:20,274 --> 00:29:22,924
But maybe we could
start digging the hole.
695
00:29:26,901 --> 00:29:28,914
I was gonna...
696
00:29:28,916 --> 00:29:32,084
(sighs) spread Mom's ashes tonight.
697
00:29:32,630 --> 00:29:34,780
Don't know if you wanted to join.
698
00:29:35,635 --> 00:29:38,235
It would be the highest
honor of my life.
699
00:29:39,527 --> 00:29:41,427
Honestly.
700
00:29:49,830 --> 00:29:51,580
Son, where's your mother?
701
00:29:55,559 --> 00:29:58,267
Hey. Um, there's no way
702
00:29:58,297 --> 00:30:00,028
you could go meet
Corporate with me right now
703
00:30:00,030 --> 00:30:02,197
and pretend to be a
representative from, say,
704
00:30:02,199 --> 00:30:04,555
the American Heart
Association, is there?
705
00:30:04,585 --> 00:30:06,652
No. I got to un-return these returns
706
00:30:06,654 --> 00:30:09,321
and get back my bad name.
707
00:30:09,323 --> 00:30:11,523
(Gasps)
708
00:30:11,525 --> 00:30:13,892
- _
- EVIE: Okay, uh...
709
00:30:13,894 --> 00:30:16,449
I need a plan. Even if
it's a crazy one. I could...
710
00:30:16,479 --> 00:30:19,064
Run around and... and flap your arms.
711
00:30:19,066 --> 00:30:21,433
ARCHIE: Flapping one's
arms is the last thing
712
00:30:21,435 --> 00:30:23,835
you should encourage a
burning individual to do.
713
00:30:24,366 --> 00:30:25,938
$1,000 fine.
714
00:30:25,940 --> 00:30:27,552
(Sighs)
715
00:30:27,582 --> 00:30:29,308
Now, show me to the cubicles.
716
00:30:29,310 --> 00:30:31,510
Sure. They're just right o...
717
00:30:31,512 --> 00:30:33,645
Jiminy Fire Hazard!
718
00:30:33,647 --> 00:30:36,281
Give me one moment. Evie!
719
00:30:36,283 --> 00:30:37,483
Mm?
720
00:30:37,485 --> 00:30:38,617
Why does Kareema currently have
721
00:30:38,619 --> 00:30:40,018
the most flammable desk situation
722
00:30:40,020 --> 00:30:42,598
in the entire history of Cybermart?
723
00:30:42,628 --> 00:30:45,017
Oh, 'cause she wants to make a good
impression with the I.N.S., so she's...
724
00:30:45,047 --> 00:30:46,759
Okay, you know what? Never mind.
725
00:30:46,761 --> 00:30:48,883
Just hide all that stuff
before the fire inspector sees.
726
00:30:48,913 --> 00:30:50,980
Yeah. Right. Yeah. Uh...
727
00:30:50,982 --> 00:30:53,916
So. Archie. Arch.
728
00:30:54,811 --> 00:30:55,618
Um...
729
00:30:55,620 --> 00:30:58,254
you know, I think it
would be good for you
730
00:30:58,284 --> 00:31:02,157
to just, you know, open
up, just tell a... long...
731
00:31:03,894 --> 00:31:05,394
long story.
732
00:31:05,396 --> 00:31:07,396
Like about that fire where
733
00:31:07,398 --> 00:31:09,031
you lost your...
734
00:31:09,033 --> 00:31:10,566
your eyebrows.
735
00:31:10,568 --> 00:31:13,369
- Is that what people say?
- Yeah.
736
00:31:13,371 --> 00:31:14,903
- I just have alopecia.
- Wait.
737
00:31:14,905 --> 00:31:16,338
You have alopecia?
738
00:31:16,340 --> 00:31:17,740
My favorite cousin Chauncey
739
00:31:17,742 --> 00:31:20,009
has alopecia. We used
to have a magic act,
740
00:31:20,011 --> 00:31:22,444
and he'd make me draw on his
eyebrows before every show.
741
00:31:22,446 --> 00:31:24,280
- (Laughs) No kidding.
- Yeah. Yeah.
742
00:31:24,282 --> 00:31:26,348
Did he use felt-tip,
or-or permanent marker?
743
00:31:26,350 --> 00:31:28,250
Hmm.
744
00:31:28,252 --> 00:31:30,719
(Both sigh)
745
00:31:30,721 --> 00:31:33,889
I can't believe this whole time
I've been a cog in the machine.
746
00:31:33,891 --> 00:31:35,758
A sturdy cog.
747
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:38,081
Well, even if you are a corporate drone,
748
00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:40,029
you'll always be a rebel to me.
749
00:31:40,031 --> 00:31:41,664
That means nothing coming from you.
750
00:31:41,666 --> 00:31:44,346
You're, like, the droniest of drones.
751
00:31:44,376 --> 00:31:46,368
- No offense.
- Yeah, well,
752
00:31:46,370 --> 00:31:48,604
I'm about to do something very undroney.
753
00:31:48,606 --> 00:31:50,639
Corporate's waiting for me
in the conference room, and
754
00:31:50,641 --> 00:31:52,641
I have nothing to present for CyberHugs.
755
00:31:54,986 --> 00:31:57,488
Would a box of used junk
impress our overlords?
756
00:31:57,518 --> 00:32:01,425
Just because it's used doesn't
necessarily mean it's junk.
757
00:32:01,455 --> 00:32:02,749
(Gasps)
758
00:32:03,922 --> 00:32:04,987
Cybermart keeps looking
759
00:32:04,989 --> 00:32:06,955
for charities to align itself with,
760
00:32:06,957 --> 00:32:09,425
but it has its own charity right here,
761
00:32:09,427 --> 00:32:11,727
built into its very infrastructure.
762
00:32:12,268 --> 00:32:15,631
I was recently reminded
not to throw the baby out
763
00:32:15,633 --> 00:32:17,399
with the bathwater.
764
00:32:17,836 --> 00:32:20,035
What if we asked customers
765
00:32:20,037 --> 00:32:23,758
to repurpose delivery
boxes as donation boxes?
766
00:32:24,118 --> 00:32:26,008
They could fill them
up with old clothes,
767
00:32:26,010 --> 00:32:27,609
toys, even canned food,
768
00:32:27,611 --> 00:32:30,012
and a Cybermart delivery
person in the area would take it
769
00:32:30,014 --> 00:32:32,348
to a nearby shelter or donation center.
770
00:32:32,350 --> 00:32:35,351
We could call it "Getters and Givers."
771
00:32:37,070 --> 00:32:38,782
It's not bad.
772
00:32:39,141 --> 00:32:43,167
It would barely cost us
anything to set in motion, and...
773
00:32:43,697 --> 00:32:46,335
it would be quite the PR boon.
774
00:32:47,687 --> 00:32:52,434
For someone that smells like
soup, you've got good ideas.
775
00:32:55,660 --> 00:32:56,905
I can't believe that
776
00:32:56,907 --> 00:32:59,518
you packed your own mother
into a bunch of fireworks.
777
00:32:59,548 --> 00:33:01,477
As you get to know me
better, it'll become easier
778
00:33:01,479 --> 00:33:03,979
to believe. (Sighs)
779
00:33:03,981 --> 00:33:06,415
Mom loved fireworks.
780
00:33:06,417 --> 00:33:08,951
She really did. It's a fitting tribute.
781
00:33:09,606 --> 00:33:11,920
You know, this is a hydroelectric dam.
782
00:33:11,922 --> 00:33:13,689
Yeah.
783
00:33:13,691 --> 00:33:15,290
Which means that her ashes will enter
784
00:33:15,292 --> 00:33:18,060
into the energy system
of this entire city.
785
00:33:18,062 --> 00:33:20,896
A tiny little micro particle of her
786
00:33:20,898 --> 00:33:23,632
in every lit light bulb in Seattle.
787
00:33:23,634 --> 00:33:25,434
(Both chuckle softly)
788
00:33:25,436 --> 00:33:27,803
I'll be able to see her wherever I go.
789
00:33:27,805 --> 00:33:29,505
Yeah.
790
00:33:30,139 --> 00:33:31,473
(Sighs)
791
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:38,680
♪♪
792
00:33:47,158 --> 00:33:49,324
(Laughs)
793
00:33:52,247 --> 00:33:53,753
_
794
00:33:54,010 --> 00:33:56,115
_
795
00:33:57,389 --> 00:33:58,888
Please put me in touch with your cousin.
796
00:33:58,890 --> 00:34:00,456
It sounds like we'd have
so much to talk about.
797
00:34:00,458 --> 00:34:03,610
Absolutely. You two
should start a podcast.
798
00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:06,692
No Hair, Don't Care with
Archie and Chauncey.
799
00:34:06,722 --> 00:34:08,831
(Both laugh)
800
00:34:14,636 --> 00:34:16,276
You know, I'm really
not supposed to do this,
801
00:34:16,306 --> 00:34:18,673
but I don't want $7,500 in fines
802
00:34:18,675 --> 00:34:21,175
to complicate this
friendship we've developed.
803
00:34:21,177 --> 00:34:24,045
- I totally agree, man.
- But please
804
00:34:24,047 --> 00:34:25,452
brush up on the fire code, okay?
805
00:34:25,482 --> 00:34:26,865
Will do.
806
00:34:28,388 --> 00:34:30,585
Hey, nicely done.
807
00:34:30,587 --> 00:34:33,092
What? Yeah! Well, we should, um...
808
00:34:33,122 --> 00:34:35,108
we should celebrate
our personal victories.
809
00:34:35,138 --> 00:34:36,357
Want to do drinks at Horsemen's?
810
00:34:36,359 --> 00:34:37,896
It's so late. I should
go check on Deirdre.
811
00:34:37,926 --> 00:34:40,867
Yeah. And I'm meeting Sofia, so...
812
00:34:41,352 --> 00:34:42,352
Oh.
813
00:34:52,668 --> 00:34:54,364
You were incredible.
814
00:34:54,394 --> 00:34:55,382
(Laughs)
815
00:34:55,412 --> 00:34:57,178
Who would have thought that appealing
816
00:34:57,180 --> 00:34:59,814
to a fellow professional
on a personal level
817
00:34:59,816 --> 00:35:02,878
would create such a
helpful sense of rapport?
818
00:35:02,908 --> 00:35:04,187
I'm sorry I had to ditch you,
819
00:35:04,217 --> 00:35:07,017
but your sore throat
took your vocal prowess
820
00:35:07,047 --> 00:35:09,310
to an unexpected 11.
821
00:35:09,635 --> 00:35:13,484
No, I take full
responsibility for that. I...
822
00:35:13,690 --> 00:35:15,463
With our history, I
never should have put you
823
00:35:15,465 --> 00:35:18,533
in the position where I
was deep inside your ear.
824
00:35:22,173 --> 00:35:23,885
Well, I should probably head out.
825
00:35:25,699 --> 00:35:28,306
I dated David Copperfield.
826
00:35:31,173 --> 00:35:32,347
What?!
827
00:35:34,351 --> 00:35:38,486
I heard you talk about
sawing your cousin in half.
828
00:35:38,488 --> 00:35:41,303
I actually urged Dave
to saw a man in half
829
00:35:41,333 --> 00:35:44,325
as I felt constantly sawing women was
830
00:35:44,327 --> 00:35:48,713
such a dangerous anti-feminist
metaphor, and, you know, well,
831
00:35:48,743 --> 00:35:50,703
we broke up shortly after that.
832
00:35:50,733 --> 00:35:53,201
Were you there when he made
the Statue of Liberty disappear?
833
00:35:53,203 --> 00:35:56,537
He originally wanted to
do the Staten Island Ferry.
834
00:35:56,539 --> 00:35:59,346
I said, “Dave, think bigger.”
835
00:35:59,376 --> 00:36:01,042
(Laughing): Oh, my God!
836
00:36:01,044 --> 00:36:03,411
I can't believe we've
never talked magic before.
837
00:36:03,413 --> 00:36:06,347
It's one of my favored
conversation topics.
838
00:36:06,349 --> 00:36:09,636
I got so excited when I
heard you mention your act.
839
00:36:09,666 --> 00:36:11,052
- I want to hear everything about it.
- Okay.
840
00:36:11,054 --> 00:36:13,034
Well, we started off
with a reverse trick.
841
00:36:13,064 --> 00:36:16,291
- Oh.
- So we pulled a hat out of a... a...
842
00:36:18,296 --> 00:36:19,763
We shouldn't be doing this.
843
00:36:19,793 --> 00:36:20,962
Well, we're just talking.
844
00:36:20,964 --> 00:36:22,790
No. You're engaged.
845
00:36:22,820 --> 00:36:25,543
We can't be tempting
ourselves like this.
846
00:36:25,573 --> 00:36:26,976
You know, it's not fair to Pete,
847
00:36:27,006 --> 00:36:29,003
or to us.
848
00:36:29,005 --> 00:36:31,539
I'm glad you're feeling better.
849
00:36:35,545 --> 00:36:38,179
(Door closes)
850
00:36:39,010 --> 00:36:40,568
(Evie sighs)
851
00:36:42,953 --> 00:36:45,386
Hey, you made it.
852
00:36:46,518 --> 00:36:47,660
I can't believe you want to waste
853
00:36:47,690 --> 00:36:50,058
my Grocers' Blowout prize money
854
00:36:50,060 --> 00:36:50,937
at Four Horsemen's.
855
00:36:50,967 --> 00:36:54,062
Okay, first off, it's not prize money.
856
00:36:54,064 --> 00:36:55,697
It's a gift certificate.
857
00:36:55,699 --> 00:36:57,598
Secondly, Four Horsemen is
an incredible establishment.
858
00:36:57,600 --> 00:36:59,334
Otherwise, we wouldn't keep coming back.
859
00:36:59,336 --> 00:37:02,870
And thirdly, since you're paying
with said gift certificate,
860
00:37:02,872 --> 00:37:07,075
it's time to try...
the unlabeled bottle.
861
00:37:13,591 --> 00:37:15,216
(Sighs)
862
00:37:15,660 --> 00:37:17,352
Hey.
863
00:37:18,388 --> 00:37:19,787
(Groans)
864
00:37:19,789 --> 00:37:20,789
Aah!
865
00:37:22,492 --> 00:37:25,059
It tastes like pine
needles and lighter fluid.
866
00:37:25,061 --> 00:37:26,894
- (Exhaling)
- _
867
00:37:26,896 --> 00:37:29,878
It's... that's accurate.
868
00:37:29,908 --> 00:37:31,632
- Oh.
- Aah.
869
00:37:35,521 --> 00:37:36,504
HAMISH: So it's back
870
00:37:36,506 --> 00:37:39,107
to the hotel and then
straight to the airport.
871
00:37:39,109 --> 00:37:41,747
Well, uh, I'm really glad you came.
872
00:37:42,089 --> 00:37:43,945
Me, too. And you be sure to thank
873
00:37:43,947 --> 00:37:46,760
that incredibly smart woman
for getting you to call me.
874
00:37:46,790 --> 00:37:48,555
Yeah, I will.
875
00:37:48,943 --> 00:37:50,585
Look, I know that
communication's not exactly
876
00:37:50,587 --> 00:37:53,951
our strong suit, but maybe
we could speak once a week.
877
00:37:54,516 --> 00:37:56,088
Monday nights.
878
00:37:56,516 --> 00:38:00,166
Yeah. Yeah, I think I could manage that.
879
00:38:00,775 --> 00:38:03,664
Well, I'll talk to you soon, son.
880
00:38:03,666 --> 00:38:05,205
(Sighs)
881
00:38:05,926 --> 00:38:07,935
Just in case I never see you again.
882
00:38:10,089 --> 00:38:11,299
What?
883
00:38:11,573 --> 00:38:13,274
You never know.
884
00:38:15,928 --> 00:38:17,280
Bye.
885
00:38:19,582 --> 00:38:21,082
(Sighs)
886
00:38:21,084 --> 00:38:22,750
(Car door closes)
887
00:38:22,752 --> 00:38:25,353
(Car engine starts)
888
00:38:37,233 --> 00:38:40,134
(Chuckles)
889
00:38:40,136 --> 00:38:44,028
Ah. You know, I thought for
sure you were going to pass.
890
00:38:44,058 --> 00:38:46,274
Why would I pass? I knew the answer.
891
00:38:46,276 --> 00:38:48,834
All beans are legumes,
892
00:38:48,864 --> 00:38:50,912
- but not all legumes are beans.
- (Laughing)
893
00:38:50,914 --> 00:38:53,981
Yeah, well, you know, the
old Timothy would have passed,
894
00:38:53,983 --> 00:38:56,517
just to spare me the
humiliation of getting
895
00:38:56,519 --> 00:38:57,919
souped.
896
00:38:57,921 --> 00:38:59,954
Well, I'm not old Timothy anymore.
897
00:38:59,956 --> 00:39:01,823
Yeah, I've noticed.
898
00:39:01,825 --> 00:39:04,258
You know, you and I have
so much history together,
899
00:39:04,260 --> 00:39:07,528
and yet you still have the
capacity to surprise me.
900
00:39:07,530 --> 00:39:10,865
Well, you surprise me.
901
00:39:12,517 --> 00:39:14,836
And honestly
902
00:39:14,838 --> 00:39:17,405
I've been pretty inspired by it.
903
00:39:23,638 --> 00:39:25,279
Am I your rebound?
904
00:39:26,025 --> 00:39:28,277
Because I'm not necessarily opposed.
905
00:39:28,307 --> 00:39:31,866
You're not, you're not my rebound.
906
00:39:31,896 --> 00:39:34,922
We're just living in the moment.
907
00:39:39,836 --> 00:39:41,663
Hey, this is Evie. I'm not here.
908
00:39:41,693 --> 00:39:43,337
After the beep, do your thing.
909
00:39:43,367 --> 00:39:44,198
(Beep)
910
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:46,567
Hey, Evie, it's, um... it's me.
911
00:39:46,569 --> 00:39:49,009
Um... my dad just left.
912
00:39:49,039 --> 00:39:51,280
It was... occasionally terrible,
913
00:39:51,310 --> 00:39:53,628
(chuckling): but also kind of amazing.
914
00:39:53,658 --> 00:39:54,742
You were right.
915
00:39:54,744 --> 00:39:57,545
I... I didn't want my
past to matter, but...
916
00:39:57,575 --> 00:40:00,548
but it's part of me.
917
00:40:01,281 --> 00:40:02,789
And it's everywhere.
918
00:40:03,547 --> 00:40:05,353
Um, you know, when
I called my dad, I...
919
00:40:05,355 --> 00:40:07,989
I wanted to do it for
you, but he got here,
920
00:40:07,991 --> 00:40:10,658
and then I realized I
needed to do it for me.
921
00:40:10,660 --> 00:40:14,929
And I... I feel like I'm just
closer to being my whole self.
922
00:40:15,893 --> 00:40:17,832
Uh, look, this is too
much to say over the phone,
923
00:40:17,834 --> 00:40:19,634
so let's just meet up.
924
00:40:19,636 --> 00:40:21,669
There's literally no one else on Earth
925
00:40:21,671 --> 00:40:24,015
I'd rather talk to right now.
926
00:40:26,679 --> 00:40:27,980
(Sighs)
927
00:40:28,711 --> 00:40:30,411
(Phone chimes)
928
00:40:30,413 --> 00:40:33,915
(Sighing and soft moaning)
929
00:40:33,945 --> 00:40:40,777
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