﻿1
00:00:01,088 --> 00:00:04,071
- Oh, I'm Xavier. With an X.
- Your life is so much fun!

2
00:00:04,071 --> 00:00:06,062
- Got to live life while I can.
- What does that mean?

3
00:00:06,062 --> 00:00:10,025
Humankind only has eight months
and 12 days left on Earth.

4
00:00:10,025 --> 00:00:12,038
You're serious? Yeah. The
apocalypse is, um...

5
00:00:12,038 --> 00:00:14,079
nigh.

6
00:00:14,079 --> 00:00:17,004
This is my apocalyst.
This is every last thing

7
00:00:17,004 --> 00:00:19,000
I want to do before things go kaput.

8
00:00:24,029 --> 00:00:25,075
You in?

9
00:00:25,961 --> 00:00:27,170
<i>Previously on</i> No Tomorrow...

10
00:00:27,731 --> 00:00:29,544
I have real feelings for you.

11
00:00:29,546 --> 00:00:30,945
I'm not ready for this to be over.

12
00:00:30,947 --> 00:00:33,648
I do not wish to be
involved with you any longer.

13
00:00:33,650 --> 00:00:36,117
Will you make me the
happiest man in the world

14
00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:37,385
for the third time?

15
00:00:37,387 --> 00:00:39,120
I accept your proposition.

16
00:00:41,051 --> 00:00:42,791
No one cares about the math, bro.

17
00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:44,125
That's not your story.

18
00:00:44,127 --> 00:00:45,167
Xavier is.

19
00:00:45,197 --> 00:00:48,363
Theoretically, if I
had been dishonest...

20
00:00:48,365 --> 00:00:49,597
Sorry, I wasn't listening.

21
00:00:49,599 --> 00:00:51,533
I was just researching Evie's boyfriend.

22
00:00:51,535 --> 00:00:52,667
Fernie?

23
00:00:53,314 --> 00:00:56,204
Without Fern's skilled
money-raising efforts,

24
00:00:56,206 --> 00:00:58,106
you are now manning a sinking ship.

25
00:00:58,108 --> 00:01:01,316
He's not who he says he is.

26
00:01:01,346 --> 00:01:03,945
His name isn't even Xavier Holliday.

27
00:01:03,947 --> 00:01:05,335
Oh, my God.

28
00:01:05,365 --> 00:01:07,182
Who the hell are you?

29
00:01:11,934 --> 00:01:14,089
You lied to me.

30
00:01:14,091 --> 00:01:16,091
Your real name is Hamish Stegner, Jr.,

31
00:01:16,093 --> 00:01:17,992
and you have a criminal record?

32
00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:19,906
Why wouldn't you tell me any of this?

33
00:01:20,933 --> 00:01:22,585
Look, I needed a fresh start,

34
00:01:22,615 --> 00:01:24,048
so I changed my name.

35
00:01:24,050 --> 00:01:25,858
And that rap sheet?

36
00:01:25,888 --> 00:01:27,758
Eight arrests in five months?

37
00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:30,088
Yeah, okay, so there's a
little light trespassing,

38
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:33,124
some disorderly conduct and
a splash of public indecency,

39
00:01:33,126 --> 00:01:35,260
but, I mean, this is pretty normal

40
00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:36,895
youthful rebellion where I'm from.

41
00:01:36,897 --> 00:01:38,763
Well, I'm trying to
figure out who you are.

42
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,098
- Oh, come on.
- I don't know if you're Xavier

43
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,371
- or Hamish...
- Relax.

44
00:01:41,401 --> 00:01:42,872
- or some kind of con man.
- Relax.

45
00:01:42,902 --> 00:01:45,336
No, I came to you, giving
you the benefit of the doubt,

46
00:01:45,338 --> 00:01:46,369
hoping for an explanation,

47
00:01:46,399 --> 00:01:49,143
and you're acting like
I'm being irrational.

48
00:01:49,173 --> 00:01:52,948
Yeah, because this stuff
just isn't relevant anymore.

49
00:01:52,978 --> 00:01:55,513
And when the clock is ticking,
what is the point of...

50
00:01:55,515 --> 00:01:57,065
of digging up the past?

51
00:01:57,095 --> 00:01:58,416
I think it matters.

52
00:01:58,418 --> 00:02:00,264
Well, I promise you,

53
00:02:00,294 --> 00:02:02,187
it just doesn't.

54
00:02:05,361 --> 00:02:06,958
Then I just...

55
00:02:07,801 --> 00:02:09,994
I need some time to think.

56
00:02:11,070 --> 00:02:14,805
= synced and corrected by Shahrazade =
= resynced by lonewolf =
... www.addic7ed.com ...

57
00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:17,602
<i>It's kind of unforgiveable, right?</i>

58
00:02:17,604 --> 00:02:19,604
If you found out Sofia used to be...

59
00:02:19,606 --> 00:02:21,999
a diamond smuggler named Angelina...

60
00:02:22,029 --> 00:02:24,342
You just described one of
our role-play scenarios,

61
00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:25,810
like, scary accurately.

62
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:27,278
You're not helping.

63
00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:28,969
I know. Sorry.

64
00:02:28,999 --> 00:02:32,016
But honestly I think I'd
give Sofia a free pass.

65
00:02:32,018 --> 00:02:33,351
Apart from the fact that

66
00:02:33,353 --> 00:02:35,220
my brother hates me
and maybe always will,

67
00:02:35,222 --> 00:02:38,370
I can't believe how much
I like being engaged.

68
00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:42,062
Ugh, after witnessing Deirdre
accept Three-Pete's proposal,

69
00:02:42,092 --> 00:02:44,796
that word sounds like
scissors in a garbage disposal.

70
00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:46,798
She divorced him twice already.

71
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,200
Like, it's so obvious that
she should clearly be with...

72
00:02:49,202 --> 00:02:51,208
Hank, Kareema,

73
00:02:51,238 --> 00:02:52,570
Evie.

74
00:02:52,572 --> 00:02:54,372
I just got off the phone with Corporate,

75
00:02:54,374 --> 00:02:56,191
and they are concerned
that it will be difficult

76
00:02:56,221 --> 00:02:57,942
to get CyberHugs back on track,

77
00:02:57,944 --> 00:03:01,346
now that we've been so
callously burned by Fern.

78
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,150
#FernBurn.

79
00:03:03,180 --> 00:03:05,612
Well, it will definitely
be an uphill battle,

80
00:03:05,642 --> 00:03:07,966
but I am confident we can
turn CyberHugs back around.

81
00:03:07,996 --> 00:03:09,376
Indeed.

82
00:03:09,406 --> 00:03:11,873
I told them you were so inspired
by my thoughtful leadership

83
00:03:11,875 --> 00:03:13,508
that you've already started vetting

84
00:03:13,510 --> 00:03:16,217
a splashy new charity for CyberHugs.

85
00:03:16,247 --> 00:03:17,261
What?

86
00:03:17,291 --> 00:03:18,747
Corporate will be here
in a matter of days

87
00:03:18,749 --> 00:03:19,748
to note your progress.

88
00:03:19,750 --> 00:03:20,800
Chop, chop.

89
00:03:22,031 --> 00:03:23,031
Ugh.

90
00:03:24,003 --> 00:03:25,587
Was that weird?

91
00:03:25,589 --> 00:03:27,561
It seemed weird.

92
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,703
Can I have your bacon?

93
00:03:30,737 --> 00:03:31,871
Okay.

94
00:03:31,901 --> 00:03:33,571
Yeah, I know these terrariums

95
00:03:33,601 --> 00:03:34,934
build a better future

96
00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:37,442
for the tree frogs,
but what if they start

97
00:03:37,472 --> 00:03:39,267
to deny where they came from?

98
00:03:39,269 --> 00:03:42,737
So, I think I speak for everyone
when I say, how can I trust you?

99
00:03:42,739 --> 00:03:44,739
Your logo is how people know you.

100
00:03:44,741 --> 00:03:47,275
It's... it's who you are.

101
00:03:47,277 --> 00:03:50,700
You can't just change who you are.

102
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:52,279
Got a little Xav on the brain?

103
00:03:52,309 --> 00:03:54,179
- Possibly.
- You know what I've noticed

104
00:03:54,209 --> 00:03:55,917
since taking over your
quality control job?

105
00:03:55,919 --> 00:03:58,787
What, the dollies in
fulfillment are always sticky?

106
00:03:58,789 --> 00:03:59,854
- Yeah, that.
- I know.

107
00:03:59,856 --> 00:04:01,990
But, um, but, also,

108
00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:04,332
you have to think
super logically all day.

109
00:04:04,362 --> 00:04:05,293
And that rational brain of yours

110
00:04:05,295 --> 00:04:07,095
has been on sleep mode
for a couple months.

111
00:04:07,097 --> 00:04:10,031
Strap in, fire it up,
tackle this Xavier thing

112
00:04:10,033 --> 00:04:12,534
with some cold, hard Evie logic.

113
00:04:14,261 --> 00:04:16,839
And... still nothing.

114
00:04:16,869 --> 00:04:19,407
Dude, I'm on hour 19 of
radio silence from Evie.

115
00:04:19,409 --> 00:04:21,597
Yeah. New name, criminal record...

116
00:04:21,627 --> 00:04:23,812
it's a bit of a bombshell, man.

117
00:04:23,814 --> 00:04:25,680
You got to let her
soak on that for awhile.

118
00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:28,216
So I changed my name?
People do it all the time.

119
00:04:28,218 --> 00:04:30,212
Woody Allen. Jon Stewart.

120
00:04:30,242 --> 00:04:31,103
Pink.

121
00:04:31,133 --> 00:04:32,717
Xavier Holliday is who I am,

122
00:04:32,747 --> 00:04:34,567
and it's who she fell in love with.

123
00:04:34,597 --> 00:04:38,156
Hamish Stegner, Jr., is
about as relevant as...

124
00:04:38,186 --> 00:04:40,236
as this Romney campaign poster.

125
00:04:40,318 --> 00:04:41,318
Dude...

126
00:04:42,065 --> 00:04:43,642
how good does this guy look now?

127
00:04:43,672 --> 00:04:44,672
Yeah.

128
00:04:45,041 --> 00:04:47,268
Look, I think Evie just feels duped,

129
00:04:47,270 --> 00:04:48,903
like she doesn't know the real you,

130
00:04:48,905 --> 00:04:52,185
so just show her that she does.

131
00:04:52,442 --> 00:04:53,758
Yeah.

132
00:05:04,825 --> 00:05:05,925
Hey.

133
00:05:07,187 --> 00:05:09,652
I know that you feel betrayed,

134
00:05:09,682 --> 00:05:13,132
and I know that you feel
like you don't know me,

135
00:05:13,162 --> 00:05:14,962
and I am here

136
00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:17,704
to tell you that you do.

137
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:22,914
I am that same guy who you
jumped off a cliff with.

138
00:05:24,207 --> 00:05:27,442
I'm the same guy who
wrote you street poetry,

139
00:05:27,444 --> 00:05:31,579
and I am the same guy
who turns up at your house

140
00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:33,414
and does spontaneous stuff

141
00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:37,385
to remind you to live in the moment.

142
00:05:37,387 --> 00:05:39,012
And that's why I brought in

143
00:05:39,042 --> 00:05:43,275
Seattle's premier Whitesnake
cover band, Albino Cobra,

144
00:05:43,305 --> 00:05:44,792
to play a private concert

145
00:05:44,794 --> 00:05:46,260
just for you on your lawn.

146
00:05:46,262 --> 00:05:47,862
- Xavier...
- And before you say anything,

147
00:05:47,864 --> 00:05:49,152
we have the noise permits.

148
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:50,607
Xavier.

149
00:05:51,780 --> 00:05:53,034
You're right.

150
00:05:53,036 --> 00:05:55,403
You have shown me how
to live in the moment.

151
00:05:55,405 --> 00:06:00,030
I've had more fun since I
met you than... well, ever.

152
00:06:00,910 --> 00:06:03,610
But then I took another
look at everything.

153
00:06:04,699 --> 00:06:08,282
You told me your mom died
while you were in college.

154
00:06:08,284 --> 00:06:09,572
The dates of those arrests,

155
00:06:09,602 --> 00:06:12,312
they're right after
her death, aren't they?

156
00:06:12,342 --> 00:06:15,462
Yeah. I was broken and I acted out.

157
00:06:15,492 --> 00:06:17,859
And your name, Hamish Stegner, Jr....

158
00:06:17,861 --> 00:06:19,994
it's clear that you changed
it because of your father

159
00:06:19,996 --> 00:06:22,946
and, you know, whatever
went on between you two.

160
00:06:23,914 --> 00:06:26,334
Look, it's a messy, complicated story.

161
00:06:26,336 --> 00:06:28,369
Yeah, and I asked you to tell it.

162
00:06:28,371 --> 00:06:30,172
I begged you to...

163
00:06:31,716 --> 00:06:33,274
and you wouldn't.

164
00:06:33,839 --> 00:06:34,839
Hey.

165
00:06:34,934 --> 00:06:35,934
Fine.

166
00:06:36,004 --> 00:06:37,982
Fine, then ask me whatever you want.

167
00:06:38,012 --> 00:06:40,230
No, it's-it's too late.

168
00:06:40,726 --> 00:06:42,510
You know, I've had this...

169
00:06:42,540 --> 00:06:45,787
this wave of rationality finally hit me.

170
00:06:45,789 --> 00:06:49,290
You lied about your debt,
your past, your name,

171
00:06:49,292 --> 00:06:51,726
and you just shrugged it all off.

172
00:06:51,728 --> 00:06:54,796
You know, I can't be
the girl in the romcom

173
00:06:54,798 --> 00:06:56,030
who overlooks serious issues

174
00:06:56,032 --> 00:06:58,466
just because the guy is charming.

175
00:06:59,834 --> 00:07:02,704
You've convinced yourself
the past doesn't matter

176
00:07:02,706 --> 00:07:05,427
because you're afraid to confront it.

177
00:07:05,786 --> 00:07:07,542
You need to face your mother's death

178
00:07:07,544 --> 00:07:10,311
and whatever happened with your dad.

179
00:07:10,817 --> 00:07:14,427
I was just... I don't know,

180
00:07:14,457 --> 00:07:16,630
waiting for the right
time. I don't know.

181
00:07:16,660 --> 00:07:19,821
You tell everyone to face their
fears while there's still time,

182
00:07:19,823 --> 00:07:21,689
but you refuse to face yours.

183
00:07:23,059 --> 00:07:26,894
Look, our pasts make us who we are,

184
00:07:26,896 --> 00:07:28,930
and you're in denial of yours.

185
00:07:32,021 --> 00:07:36,027
I can't be with someone who
refuses to be his whole self.

186
00:07:38,206 --> 00:07:40,641
This is over, Xavier.

187
00:07:49,347 --> 00:07:51,355
Thanks for joining me.

188
00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:54,789
I needed a post-breakup drinking buddy.

189
00:07:54,819 --> 00:07:55,884
How about two?

190
00:07:55,886 --> 00:07:57,886
I invited T-Time.

191
00:07:57,888 --> 00:07:59,699
Since we're all fresh
out of relationships,

192
00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:02,624
I thought it was time to
reunite Destiny's Child.

193
00:08:02,626 --> 00:08:05,399
Yeah, the broken hearts club version.

194
00:08:05,429 --> 00:08:06,795
We are survivors.

195
00:08:06,797 --> 00:08:08,764
We are irreplaceable.

196
00:08:08,766 --> 00:08:12,045
So, let's rack up some bills,
bills, bills at this bar.

197
00:08:16,307 --> 00:08:18,899
I don't know if I can
keep on survivin', guys.

198
00:08:18,929 --> 00:08:21,043
I'm drawn to Deirdre like a magnet,

199
00:08:21,045 --> 00:08:23,278
but now she's more off-limits than ever.

200
00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:24,413
How do I fix it?

201
00:08:24,415 --> 00:08:27,349
Like, how do you turn off a magnet?

202
00:08:27,351 --> 00:08:30,077
Well, in some cases, the polarity...

203
00:08:30,762 --> 00:08:31,787
Hello?

204
00:08:31,789 --> 00:08:33,322
Come over right now.

205
00:08:33,324 --> 00:08:35,324
- I need you.
- Oh, okay.

206
00:08:35,326 --> 00:08:37,226
Magnet fixed.

207
00:08:37,228 --> 00:08:39,461
You guys just do whatev...

208
00:08:44,602 --> 00:08:47,028
♪ Almost forgot to breathe... ♪

209
00:08:47,058 --> 00:08:49,271
Uh, hey, listen...

210
00:08:49,273 --> 00:08:50,673
I hope you know that

211
00:08:50,675 --> 00:08:52,574
when I gave you that
information on Xavier,

212
00:08:52,576 --> 00:08:55,244
- I wasn't trying to...
- Oh, I know.

213
00:08:55,246 --> 00:08:56,846
But I'm glad I found out.

214
00:08:56,876 --> 00:08:58,113
You know, it...

215
00:08:58,115 --> 00:09:00,349
forced me to confront a
few things that, honestly,

216
00:09:00,351 --> 00:09:03,519
I had been avoiding for too long.

217
00:09:03,521 --> 00:09:06,697
In fact... uh...

218
00:09:06,727 --> 00:09:10,059
Hey, uh, can you throw
this away for me? Thanks.

219
00:09:10,061 --> 00:09:12,361
What? No more apocalysting?

220
00:09:12,363 --> 00:09:14,897
That was Xavier's thing.

221
00:09:14,899 --> 00:09:18,600
I need to figure out
who I am without him.

222
00:09:18,602 --> 00:09:22,705
Well, independent woman,
what's your first step?

223
00:09:22,707 --> 00:09:25,279
I don't know. What did you do when...

224
00:09:25,934 --> 00:09:27,810
When Fern, the maniacal embezzler,

225
00:09:27,812 --> 00:09:29,727
ditched me for Uruguay?

226
00:09:30,018 --> 00:09:32,414
I spent eight hours on
my couch in my underwear

227
00:09:32,416 --> 00:09:36,085
watching a <i>Grocers' Blowout</i> marathon.

228
00:09:36,351 --> 00:09:38,721
You got souped!

229
00:09:39,790 --> 00:09:41,323
- That was our show.
- Mm.

230
00:09:41,325 --> 00:09:42,712
Is Emerald Sitay still the host?

231
00:09:42,742 --> 00:09:45,828
Yeah, she's celebrating
her, like, 45th year there.

232
00:09:45,830 --> 00:09:47,463
<i>Grocers' Blowout!</i>

233
00:09:47,465 --> 00:09:49,765
- Oh, my gosh, what a woman.
- Mm.

234
00:09:49,767 --> 00:09:51,967
Remember when I looked
into being a contestant?

235
00:09:51,969 --> 00:09:53,669
But the wait list
was, like, three years,

236
00:09:53,671 --> 00:09:55,959
so you never signed up.

237
00:09:55,989 --> 00:09:58,999
You know what, I'm putting my
name on that wait list today.

238
00:09:59,029 --> 00:10:03,746
In three years I am winning
<i>Grocers' Blowout.</i>

239
00:10:03,748 --> 00:10:05,080
Well, good for you.

240
00:10:09,653 --> 00:10:11,887
Oh, God.

241
00:10:13,906 --> 00:10:14,923
Hi, Hank.

242
00:10:14,925 --> 00:10:16,759
I have a cold.

243
00:10:16,761 --> 00:10:18,527
You called me over here

244
00:10:18,529 --> 00:10:20,062
to take care of your sick self?

245
00:10:20,064 --> 00:10:21,497
That's Pete's job now.

246
00:10:21,499 --> 00:10:22,698
Pete's in Wenatchee,

247
00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:24,833
scouting orchards for the wedding.

248
00:10:24,835 --> 00:10:28,070
He really wants people
to toast our marriage

249
00:10:28,072 --> 00:10:30,239
with freshly-pressed cider.

250
00:10:30,241 --> 00:10:31,607
Oh, that's great. Have a good one.

251
00:10:31,609 --> 00:10:32,875
No, no, Hank.

252
00:10:33,878 --> 00:10:35,978
I know our former romance

253
00:10:35,980 --> 00:10:38,247
muddies this request,
but you are the one person

254
00:10:38,249 --> 00:10:39,581
I need right now.

255
00:10:44,293 --> 00:10:47,523
As my assistant, you never
took a single sick day.

256
00:10:47,525 --> 00:10:50,392
Which means you're either
a statistical outlier

257
00:10:50,394 --> 00:10:53,462
or you have discovered how to
fortify the human immune system.

258
00:10:53,464 --> 00:10:55,397
Maybe I have, maybe I haven't.

259
00:10:55,399 --> 00:10:57,065
Why can't you just ride this out?

260
00:10:57,067 --> 00:11:00,903
This is the week Archie
Fieri visits the warehouse.

261
00:11:00,905 --> 00:11:02,137
The fire inspector?

262
00:11:02,139 --> 00:11:03,839
<i>He's the
toughest fire inspector</i>

263
00:11:03,841 --> 00:11:05,674
<i>in Seattle; some say it's because</i>

264
00:11:05,676 --> 00:11:08,143
<i>he lost his eyebrows in a terrible fire.</i>

265
00:11:08,145 --> 00:11:12,114
And I am the only one who
knows how to avoid his fines.

266
00:11:12,116 --> 00:11:13,582
Then just reschedule.

267
00:11:13,584 --> 00:11:16,552
Archie Fieri reschedules for no one.

268
00:11:16,554 --> 00:11:19,221
That's actually written
on his business card.

269
00:11:19,223 --> 00:11:21,590
And he has the power to
shut down the warehouse

270
00:11:21,592 --> 00:11:23,583
until it's up to code.

271
00:11:23,908 --> 00:11:25,127
My warehouse.

272
00:11:25,129 --> 00:11:26,929
All right, all right.

273
00:11:26,931 --> 00:11:29,431
The Barkley family does
have a secret recipe

274
00:11:29,433 --> 00:11:30,854
for germ annihilation.

275
00:11:30,884 --> 00:11:32,601
It's called vitamin B13.

276
00:11:32,603 --> 00:11:35,003
It's like vitamin B12, but, you know,

277
00:11:35,005 --> 00:11:37,172
there's one more “B.”

278
00:11:37,174 --> 00:11:38,440
I'll make it for you tomorrow.

279
00:11:38,442 --> 00:11:39,708
What's in it?

280
00:11:39,710 --> 00:11:41,410
Uh... better if you didn't know.

281
00:11:41,879 --> 00:11:42,911
My stuff with my dad

282
00:11:42,913 --> 00:11:44,952
has nothing to do with our relationship.

283
00:11:44,982 --> 00:11:46,882
But she thinks we
can't really be together

284
00:11:46,884 --> 00:11:49,584
until I address it, but
that's not her call to make.

285
00:11:49,586 --> 00:11:50,636
Exactly.

286
00:11:50,666 --> 00:11:53,054
If you cared about this
thing with your dad,

287
00:11:53,056 --> 00:11:55,257
it'd be on that lyst of yours.

288
00:11:55,259 --> 00:11:57,695
“Talk to my dad” is number three.

289
00:11:57,901 --> 00:12:00,162
- Oh.
- Yeah.

290
00:12:00,437 --> 00:12:03,365
I just recently read
about this fringe therapist

291
00:12:03,367 --> 00:12:05,005
who believes you
shouldn't confront trauma

292
00:12:05,035 --> 00:12:08,270
until at least a decade
after it's happened.

293
00:12:08,272 --> 00:12:10,772
So, just wait till then.

294
00:12:10,774 --> 00:12:13,809
Right, except that,
at the ten-year mark,

295
00:12:13,811 --> 00:12:16,578
the Earth will be a smoldering
piece of space rubble.

296
00:12:16,580 --> 00:12:18,747
Yeah.

297
00:12:19,176 --> 00:12:21,130
You're running out of
excuses for me to use, huh?

298
00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:23,863
Really struggling here, yeah.

299
00:12:23,893 --> 00:12:25,164
Listen, I get that you're afraid...

300
00:12:25,194 --> 00:12:27,589
I'm not afraid of talking to my dad.

301
00:12:27,591 --> 00:12:29,391
It's simply that it would require me

302
00:12:29,393 --> 00:12:31,660
to address some
deep-seated emotional damage

303
00:12:31,662 --> 00:12:34,997
that I would rather not
explore at this juncture.

304
00:12:38,535 --> 00:12:40,335
Yeah, I just heard myself, too.

305
00:12:40,337 --> 00:12:41,670
Yeah.

306
00:12:55,472 --> 00:12:56,260
Thank you for letting me

307
00:12:56,290 --> 00:12:57,786
crash your lunch break.

308
00:12:57,788 --> 00:12:59,388
I think I'm gonna call this series

309
00:12:59,390 --> 00:13:03,291
“Warehouse Faces. A Study
of Capitalist Oppression.”

310
00:13:06,397 --> 00:13:08,817
Uh-oh. What's wrong with
my immigration paperwork?

311
00:13:08,847 --> 00:13:11,400
It says here that the I.N.S. is
gonna look into my work history,

312
00:13:11,402 --> 00:13:13,301
including performance evaluations.

313
00:13:13,303 --> 00:13:15,842
- So?
- So...

314
00:13:16,133 --> 00:13:17,806
I barely try at this job.

315
00:13:17,808 --> 00:13:19,708
I mean, I've never
looked at my evaluations,

316
00:13:19,710 --> 00:13:21,576
but I'm sure they say things like,

317
00:13:21,578 --> 00:13:24,379
“Kareema barely tries at this job.”

318
00:13:26,884 --> 00:13:29,751
Well, maybe it's not too
late to turn it around.

319
00:13:29,753 --> 00:13:31,853
Make sure you get some
good customer reviews

320
00:13:31,855 --> 00:13:33,355
before the end of next week.

321
00:13:33,357 --> 00:13:35,791
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

322
00:13:35,793 --> 00:13:37,926
You def deserve a full
refund on that hair spray.

323
00:13:37,928 --> 00:13:41,696
I am sending you a
shipping label right now.

324
00:13:41,698 --> 00:13:43,765
Ooh, Cedar Rapids.

325
00:13:43,767 --> 00:13:47,502
See ya later, Iowa-Stater.

326
00:13:47,504 --> 00:13:50,405
You've definitely never been
that nice on a call before.

327
00:13:50,407 --> 00:13:53,241
Ugh, niceness is exhausting.

328
00:13:53,243 --> 00:13:55,844
No wonder you stay so
thin without exercising.

329
00:13:56,264 --> 00:13:57,212
Did you find

330
00:13:57,214 --> 00:13:58,615
a splashy charity yet?

331
00:13:58,645 --> 00:14:00,382
I did. Uh, Forks in the Road.

332
00:14:00,384 --> 00:14:01,983
It's actually a really neat organization

333
00:14:01,985 --> 00:14:03,752
that delivers fresh
food to the homeless.

334
00:14:03,754 --> 00:14:06,021
I used to volunteer for them in college.

335
00:14:06,023 --> 00:14:09,758
I'm not afraid of digging into my past.

336
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:11,460
You know, I can see actual waves

337
00:14:11,462 --> 00:14:13,528
of passive aggression
emanating from you right now.

338
00:14:13,530 --> 00:14:15,497
Sorry. I'm just frustrated.

339
00:14:15,499 --> 00:14:17,499
This was just delivered to me.

340
00:14:17,529 --> 00:14:19,673
_

341
00:14:19,703 --> 00:14:21,503
What does it mean?

342
00:14:21,505 --> 00:14:23,939
It means Xavier still doesn't get it.

343
00:14:23,941 --> 00:14:26,174
He thinks he can win me
over with big gestures,

344
00:14:26,176 --> 00:14:28,310
like they're some kind
of drug I'm hooked on.

345
00:14:28,312 --> 00:14:29,978
Anyone have any codeine?

346
00:14:31,646 --> 00:14:33,448
You keep your codeine in a can?

347
00:14:33,450 --> 00:14:35,150
What do you keep yours in?

348
00:14:47,686 --> 00:14:49,164
Mathematics Department.

349
00:14:49,166 --> 00:14:51,533
Hi. Uh, Professor Stegner, please.

350
00:14:55,772 --> 00:14:57,872
This is Hamish speaking.

351
00:14:58,075 --> 00:14:59,526
Hi, Dad.

352
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:10,751
- Hi.
- Hi. Um...

353
00:15:12,086 --> 00:15:13,553
Look, I... I know

354
00:15:13,583 --> 00:15:14,816
it can't be easy for you right now.

355
00:15:14,846 --> 00:15:16,522
It's... it's not easy for me either.

356
00:15:16,552 --> 00:15:17,741
But, you know, trying to win me back

357
00:15:17,771 --> 00:15:19,637
with another adventure
just won't help anything.

358
00:15:19,639 --> 00:15:20,838
Evie, I'm not trying to win you back.

359
00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:22,173
I know you think it's charming.

360
00:15:22,175 --> 00:15:23,775
Evie, I-I don't...

361
00:15:23,777 --> 00:15:26,577
I don't know who sent this
to you, but it wasn't me.

362
00:15:27,108 --> 00:15:28,613
And, look, I'm really happy to see you,

363
00:15:28,615 --> 00:15:30,348
but your timing isn't great.

364
00:15:30,350 --> 00:15:32,501
I called my dad last night.

365
00:15:32,531 --> 00:15:34,152
And we've arranged to meet.

366
00:15:34,154 --> 00:15:36,821
He's on his way here right now.

367
00:15:36,823 --> 00:15:38,956
Wow. So you actually did it.

368
00:15:38,958 --> 00:15:40,453
Yeah.

369
00:15:40,483 --> 00:15:42,723
And the hardest part's still to come.

370
00:15:42,753 --> 00:15:44,966
Well, you'll get through it.

371
00:15:44,996 --> 00:15:46,646
You know, I have faith.

372
00:15:47,931 --> 00:15:49,133
Yeah, well, look.

373
00:15:49,135 --> 00:15:52,570
Have fun on whatever
adventure awaits you.

374
00:15:52,572 --> 00:15:54,919
Maybe you can tell me about it later.

375
00:16:01,031 --> 00:16:02,747
Oh, my God.

376
00:16:09,257 --> 00:16:11,307
You haven't changed a bit, son.

377
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,324
Dad.

378
00:16:20,264 --> 00:16:22,433
I apologize.

379
00:16:22,635 --> 00:16:24,268
It's just, I've been fantasizing

380
00:16:24,270 --> 00:16:26,292
about doing that for a very long time.

381
00:16:26,322 --> 00:16:30,024
Yeah, well, I hope it was
everything you dreamed of.

382
00:16:34,097 --> 00:16:35,563
You brought her.

383
00:16:35,863 --> 00:16:36,863
Yeah.

384
00:16:38,599 --> 00:16:40,299
I think you deserve her.

385
00:16:42,272 --> 00:16:45,072
I'm gonna make some proper tea.

386
00:16:46,876 --> 00:16:48,258
Hello?

387
00:16:51,100 --> 00:16:53,172
Did the B13 work?

388
00:16:53,202 --> 00:16:54,659
Hank!

389
00:16:55,087 --> 00:16:56,484
Whoa!

390
00:16:56,486 --> 00:16:58,186
Sweet Snowden's Wi-Fi!

391
00:16:58,188 --> 00:17:00,254
I have hives, vertigo

392
00:17:00,256 --> 00:17:02,690
and a grotesquely swollen ear canal.

393
00:17:02,692 --> 00:17:05,560
Are you sure you made the B13 correctly?

394
00:17:05,562 --> 00:17:07,695
Yes. Okay, okay.

395
00:17:07,697 --> 00:17:10,364
Yeah. I put codeine,
garlic, keyboard cleaner,

396
00:17:10,366 --> 00:17:12,533
a teaspoon of powdered kumquat.

397
00:17:12,535 --> 00:17:13,901
Ah! Allergic to kumquat.

398
00:17:13,903 --> 00:17:15,636
- What are we gonna do?
- Okay, all right.

399
00:17:15,638 --> 00:17:18,272
First, just, you know, let yourself go.

400
00:17:18,274 --> 00:17:20,541
Just let gravity have
its way with you, girl.

401
00:17:20,543 --> 00:17:22,100
All right? Okay.

402
00:17:22,130 --> 00:17:24,579
There you go. Look at that.

403
00:17:24,581 --> 00:17:27,138
The floor's like a big pillow.

404
00:17:27,168 --> 00:17:29,750
Listen. Let me show
Archie around, all right?

405
00:17:29,752 --> 00:17:32,286
Just teach me how to
get everything ready

406
00:17:32,288 --> 00:17:34,055
and answer his trick questions.

407
00:17:36,459 --> 00:17:41,028
I saw a motion picture on
cable television yesterday.

408
00:17:41,030 --> 00:17:43,965
It's called <i>Roxanne.</i>

409
00:17:43,967 --> 00:17:47,856
What if I fed you the answers
like in <i>Roxanne?</i>

410
00:17:47,886 --> 00:17:49,504
Like Cyrano de Bergerac.

411
00:17:49,506 --> 00:17:51,716
Please, don't speak French around me.

412
00:17:51,746 --> 00:17:54,196
You know how I feel about that country.

413
00:17:55,807 --> 00:17:58,045
I like the window treatments.

414
00:17:58,290 --> 00:18:00,982
They're very, uh... breezy.

415
00:18:02,806 --> 00:18:04,886
I don't want to talk about the windows.

416
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:07,827
I want to talk about what you did.

417
00:18:08,204 --> 00:18:11,270
Well, I thought we might
just kind of ramp up to that.

418
00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:12,293
Well, I've been

419
00:18:12,295 --> 00:18:14,461
ramping up to that for nine years, so...

420
00:18:16,892 --> 00:18:18,229
Oh, I'm so sorry.

421
00:18:18,259 --> 00:18:20,034
I told her to only call
if it was an emergency,

422
00:18:20,036 --> 00:18:21,374
so this might be.

423
00:18:21,404 --> 00:18:23,904
Hi. Is everything okay?

424
00:18:23,906 --> 00:18:26,340
Oh, hi, Zoey. Yes.

425
00:18:26,342 --> 00:18:28,845
I can do your homework with you
when I get back to the hotel,

426
00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:30,342
but I'm in the middle
of something right now,

427
00:18:30,372 --> 00:18:31,946
so I've got to go.

428
00:18:31,948 --> 00:18:33,848
Bye-bye.

429
00:18:33,850 --> 00:18:36,684
Are you kidding me?

430
00:18:37,061 --> 00:18:38,653
You brought them to Seattle?

431
00:18:39,180 --> 00:18:41,326
Well, I... I thought
that if this went well,

432
00:18:41,356 --> 00:18:42,423
you might want to meet them.

433
00:18:42,425 --> 00:18:44,091
Oh, my God.

434
00:18:44,663 --> 00:18:46,927
I don't remember you
helping me with my homework.

435
00:18:46,929 --> 00:18:48,796
Or anything, for that matter.

436
00:18:48,798 --> 00:18:50,470
I remember looking after Mom

437
00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:51,933
when you were nowhere to be found,

438
00:18:51,935 --> 00:18:54,089
because you were starting
a new family with Rose,

439
00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:55,369
and having Zoey, who, by the way,

440
00:18:55,371 --> 00:18:59,145
was born five months after Mom died.

441
00:18:59,712 --> 00:19:03,701
I... I had to watch
Mom die all on my own.

442
00:19:03,731 --> 00:19:06,047
Once again you made it very clear

443
00:19:06,295 --> 00:19:08,783
which family actually matters to you.

444
00:19:27,570 --> 00:19:29,837
♪♪

445
00:19:54,589 --> 00:19:56,030
<i>We bought that map</i>

446
00:19:56,032 --> 00:19:58,766
at a city planning fair four years ago.

447
00:19:58,768 --> 00:20:01,536
Okay. I was worried you
weren't gonna put it together.

448
00:20:01,538 --> 00:20:05,039
Timothy Finger and Evie
Covington, checking in.

449
00:20:05,041 --> 00:20:06,641
Okay, go on in.

450
00:20:06,643 --> 00:20:07,778
How'd you make this happen?

451
00:20:07,808 --> 00:20:09,610
Do you remember that video
of me at the STEVEN-Spiel?

452
00:20:09,612 --> 00:20:11,512
I've always felt... Oh, good Lord!

453
00:20:11,514 --> 00:20:15,750
Well, it's resulted in
some mild local notoriety.

454
00:20:16,276 --> 00:20:18,085
So I leveraged that notoriety

455
00:20:18,087 --> 00:20:20,915
to help us cut the wait
list to be a contestant on...

456
00:20:20,945 --> 00:20:22,857
<i>Grocers' Blowout!</i>

457
00:20:22,859 --> 00:20:25,526
With Emerald Sitay.

458
00:20:29,111 --> 00:20:30,870
Kareema,
queen of customer care.

459
00:20:30,900 --> 00:20:32,232
How can I help you?

460
00:20:32,234 --> 00:20:33,701
Uh-huh.

461
00:20:33,703 --> 00:20:35,169
Ooh, that sounds bad.

462
00:20:35,171 --> 00:20:37,084
I can send you a return shipping label.

463
00:20:37,114 --> 00:20:38,090
What's your address?

464
00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:40,780
Hey. Uh, I'm gonna run
around the warehouse and check

465
00:20:40,810 --> 00:20:43,044
all the emergency exit
signs. You want to help?

466
00:20:43,046 --> 00:20:44,545
I can't.

467
00:20:44,547 --> 00:20:46,647
Customers have started requesting me.

468
00:20:46,649 --> 00:20:49,250
I'm a Cybermart siren; it's a nightmare.

469
00:20:49,252 --> 00:20:50,818
Ugh.

470
00:20:51,503 --> 00:20:53,033
And now they're gonna reward me for it.

471
00:20:53,063 --> 00:20:55,297
- I do such idiotic things for love.
- _

472
00:20:55,327 --> 00:20:56,864
And sex.

473
00:20:56,894 --> 00:20:57,925
Mostly sex.

474
00:20:57,927 --> 00:21:00,928
Yeah. Well, if you can't
help me, where's Evie?

475
00:21:00,930 --> 00:21:02,563
I don't know; she's
still on her lunch break.

476
00:21:02,565 --> 00:21:03,564
Still?

477
00:21:03,566 --> 00:21:05,199
What kind of lunch takes so damn long?

478
00:21:05,201 --> 00:21:07,501
Bananas flambé.

479
00:21:07,503 --> 00:21:08,636
Waldorf Salad.

480
00:21:08,638 --> 00:21:10,138
Orville Redenbacher.

481
00:21:10,807 --> 00:21:12,707
- Mm! Yes!
- Oh!

482
00:21:14,077 --> 00:21:16,377
Still Life with Fruit and Ham.

483
00:21:16,379 --> 00:21:18,613
The portable juice box!

484
00:21:18,615 --> 00:21:20,381
Got one!

485
00:21:20,383 --> 00:21:22,883
Ah! Ooh! I got one, too!

486
00:21:24,087 --> 00:21:25,453
Final question.

487
00:21:25,455 --> 00:21:29,648
Whoever gets this wins
a $200 gift certificate

488
00:21:29,678 --> 00:21:33,166
good at any Seattle bar or restaurant.

489
00:21:34,264 --> 00:21:37,899
Four of the most powerful families

490
00:21:37,901 --> 00:21:43,471
in ancient Rome took their
names from what kind of food?

491
00:21:45,276 --> 00:21:46,756
Beans!

492
00:21:46,927 --> 00:21:48,674
- Yes!
- Evie!

493
00:21:48,704 --> 00:21:51,546
You are wrong!

494
00:21:51,548 --> 00:21:54,289
Timothy, for the steal.

495
00:21:54,319 --> 00:21:55,363
That would be legumes.

496
00:21:59,710 --> 00:22:03,818
Tim Finger, you are today's winner!

497
00:22:04,941 --> 00:22:06,433
Evie.

498
00:22:07,008 --> 00:22:08,529
As today's loser...

499
00:22:15,305 --> 00:22:18,606
You got souped!

500
00:22:23,246 --> 00:22:25,580
That was a blast!

501
00:22:25,582 --> 00:22:28,182
Yeah, I thought you might like that.

502
00:22:28,850 --> 00:22:30,151
And...

503
00:22:31,053 --> 00:22:32,553
I think you should cross it off.

504
00:22:33,107 --> 00:22:34,493
What? I...

505
00:22:34,523 --> 00:22:36,253
But I threw this away.

506
00:22:36,283 --> 00:22:39,293
Yeah. I... I had the
bartender fish it out.

507
00:22:39,295 --> 00:22:41,829
I know it's a Xavier thing. I know.

508
00:22:41,831 --> 00:22:44,899
But... but he didn't
make that list. You did.

509
00:22:45,470 --> 00:22:47,420
And it made you really happy.

510
00:22:47,455 --> 00:22:48,802
Maybe you don't need

511
00:22:48,804 --> 00:22:51,038
to throw out the baby
with the bathwater.

512
00:22:52,933 --> 00:22:54,747
_

513
00:22:54,777 --> 00:22:57,544
Thank you, Timothy.

514
00:22:59,148 --> 00:23:01,415
♪♪

515
00:23:06,022 --> 00:23:07,922
Ooh. You got some parsley in your hair.

516
00:23:07,924 --> 00:23:09,857
Oh.

517
00:23:11,894 --> 00:23:13,627
Hey, this was fun.

518
00:23:13,629 --> 00:23:15,930
- Mm-hmm.
- Let me know if you ever want

519
00:23:15,932 --> 00:23:18,065
to cross off a couple more together.

520
00:23:25,232 --> 00:23:27,499
I tried, Mom.

521
00:23:28,439 --> 00:23:30,902
I really tried.

522
00:23:30,904 --> 00:23:34,409
I swear, he
doesn't even realize

523
00:23:34,439 --> 00:23:36,498
how much he abandoned us.

524
00:23:38,533 --> 00:23:40,483
Xavier?

525
00:23:46,675 --> 00:23:48,791
May I? Please?

526
00:23:48,821 --> 00:23:50,354
Yep. Fine.

527
00:23:50,356 --> 00:23:53,491
But I'm not subjecting
my mother to this.

528
00:23:57,296 --> 00:23:59,263
I know you don't like me.

529
00:24:00,065 --> 00:24:01,499
I know you'll always think of me

530
00:24:01,501 --> 00:24:03,033
as your father's mistress.

531
00:24:03,035 --> 00:24:06,337
Yeah, well, it's a pretty
fair thing to think, isn't it?

532
00:24:06,881 --> 00:24:09,003
Did Hamish ever tell
you where he met me?

533
00:24:09,033 --> 00:24:12,309
Uh, nope. Never came up in the
nine years we weren't speaking.

534
00:24:12,311 --> 00:24:13,744
We met in a support group

535
00:24:13,746 --> 00:24:16,852
for people with
terminally ill loved ones.

536
00:24:17,862 --> 00:24:20,217
It was the absolute
worst year of our lives.

537
00:24:20,219 --> 00:24:22,620
We'd go to those meetings
and drink the cheap tea

538
00:24:22,622 --> 00:24:26,014
and listen to sad sacks
as miserable as we were.

539
00:24:26,476 --> 00:24:28,893
But it was a way to avoid going home.

540
00:24:29,780 --> 00:24:32,430
I needed him at home.

541
00:24:32,432 --> 00:24:34,765
I know.

542
00:24:34,767 --> 00:24:37,368
And that's for you two to work out.

543
00:24:37,370 --> 00:24:40,438
But I also know that we both
felt like we were sinking

544
00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:43,040
and we needed something,

545
00:24:43,042 --> 00:24:45,342
someone to hold onto.

546
00:24:45,344 --> 00:24:48,679
And, in our misery, we found each other.

547
00:24:50,650 --> 00:24:53,948
Yeah, well, it's not how it
looks from where I'm sitting.

548
00:24:53,978 --> 00:24:57,021
If you think your father
didn't care about your mom,

549
00:24:57,023 --> 00:25:00,329
then you two really do need to talk.

550
00:25:01,404 --> 00:25:03,848
What Hamish and I have is special.

551
00:25:03,878 --> 00:25:06,630
But Tabitha was his true love.

552
00:25:08,234 --> 00:25:11,235
She'll always be the light of his life.

553
00:25:12,469 --> 00:25:14,389
He say that?

554
00:25:15,508 --> 00:25:17,891
He say she was the light of his life?

555
00:25:23,683 --> 00:25:26,517
I'm not supposed to tell you this,

556
00:25:27,066 --> 00:25:29,720
but do you know what your
father's missing to be here?

557
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:36,728
_

558
00:25:36,758 --> 00:25:38,267
_

559
00:25:38,297 --> 00:25:41,465
Well, somebody has the
bounce back in their pounce.

560
00:25:41,467 --> 00:25:44,134
Did you have a little sex
with the ex with an "X"?

561
00:25:44,136 --> 00:25:45,459
No. Nothing like that.

562
00:25:45,489 --> 00:25:48,372
I just... had a lot of fun recently.

563
00:25:48,374 --> 00:25:50,674
With Timothy, actually.

564
00:25:50,676 --> 00:25:52,142
And I never should have underestimated

565
00:25:52,144 --> 00:25:53,878
how much I love lists.

566
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:56,214
Goal-setting is so my jam.

567
00:25:56,244 --> 00:25:57,681
Kareema?

568
00:25:57,683 --> 00:25:59,275
- We need to talk.
- Oh! Right.

569
00:25:59,305 --> 00:26:00,593
If I've gotten some sort of award

570
00:26:00,623 --> 00:26:02,236
for Best Customer Service Ever,

571
00:26:02,266 --> 00:26:05,689
you can just fax a copy of
the certificate to the I.N.S.

572
00:26:05,691 --> 00:26:08,459
The only thing I'll
be faxing to the I.N.S.

573
00:26:08,461 --> 00:26:10,661
is a sad face emoji

574
00:26:10,663 --> 00:26:12,730
to represent how your
quality of work has plummeted

575
00:26:12,732 --> 00:26:14,665
- recently.
- Plummeted?

576
00:26:14,667 --> 00:26:16,066
You were the crown jewel

577
00:26:16,068 --> 00:26:17,968
of the customer service department.

578
00:26:17,970 --> 00:26:21,014
The sturdiest cog in the machine.

579
00:26:21,044 --> 00:26:23,307
Are you sure you mean Kareema?

580
00:26:23,309 --> 00:26:24,055
Yeah, are you sure?

581
00:26:24,085 --> 00:26:25,609
You kept phone call lengths

582
00:26:25,611 --> 00:26:27,000
to a record minimum.

583
00:26:27,030 --> 00:26:30,553
You were extremely strict
about returns on used items.

584
00:26:30,583 --> 00:26:32,349
The ideal customer service rep.

585
00:26:32,351 --> 00:26:33,215
Wha...?

586
00:26:33,245 --> 00:26:36,513
But I thought I was improving
the quality of my work.

587
00:26:36,543 --> 00:26:39,220
I don't even know who you are anymore.

588
00:26:39,802 --> 00:26:41,322
By the way, someone from Corporate

589
00:26:41,352 --> 00:26:43,127
is waiting for you in
the conference room.

590
00:26:43,129 --> 00:26:45,637
Great. I'll just check in

591
00:26:45,667 --> 00:26:46,949
with my contact at Forks in the Road.

592
00:26:46,979 --> 00:26:49,992
You know, maybe he's stuck in traffic.

593
00:26:50,022 --> 00:26:52,308
Yeah.

594
00:26:52,338 --> 00:26:53,637
I don't understand.

595
00:26:53,639 --> 00:26:55,673
You were so excited about
partnering with CyberHugs.

596
00:26:55,675 --> 00:26:58,409
We were gonna be Fork Dorks together.

597
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:00,653
I just saw you on TV.

598
00:27:00,683 --> 00:27:02,303
You wasted at least 30 gallons of soup.

599
00:27:02,333 --> 00:27:03,810
- Excuse me?
- You know how many hungry people

600
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:05,688
could've eaten that soup?

601
00:27:09,822 --> 00:27:11,322
I am so screwed.

602
00:27:11,324 --> 00:27:12,389
Not nailed.

603
00:27:12,391 --> 00:27:13,958
Per specifications.

604
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:15,392
Well done.

605
00:27:15,394 --> 00:27:16,916
Good job.

606
00:27:16,946 --> 00:27:19,580
So, you guys obviously do a
lot of restocking around here.

607
00:27:19,582 --> 00:27:21,282
How much aisle space do you leave

608
00:27:21,284 --> 00:27:23,084
in case of an emergency evacuation?

609
00:27:23,086 --> 00:27:26,687
It depends if it's
manual or mechanical restocking.

610
00:27:26,689 --> 00:27:30,257
Uh...
manual or mechanical?

611
00:27:30,259 --> 00:27:31,592
Let's say mechanical.

612
00:27:31,594 --> 00:27:33,726
44 inches.

613
00:27:33,756 --> 00:27:35,296
44 inches.

614
00:27:35,298 --> 00:27:37,298
Uh, just give me one moment.

615
00:27:37,300 --> 00:27:39,800
Just... one moment.

616
00:27:42,271 --> 00:27:43,771
I am so sorry.

617
00:27:43,773 --> 00:27:45,656
I thought that hearing
your voice electronically

618
00:27:45,686 --> 00:27:47,108
would offset the effect it had on me,

619
00:27:47,110 --> 00:27:50,878
but your illness has made
your voice even huskier,

620
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:53,114
and it's elevating Douglas.

621
00:27:53,550 --> 00:27:54,515
I got to wing it.

622
00:27:54,517 --> 00:27:56,984
No, no, no, no. Hank, no!

623
00:28:01,060 --> 00:28:03,157
And if it's, uh, manual restocking?

624
00:28:03,159 --> 00:28:05,314
How much aisle space then?

625
00:28:05,344 --> 00:28:07,962
This much?

626
00:28:07,964 --> 00:28:10,531
$800 fine.

627
00:28:12,301 --> 00:28:13,697
Thanks for giving me another chance

628
00:28:13,727 --> 00:28:15,369
to explain this to you.

629
00:28:16,278 --> 00:28:17,562
Why didn't you tell me that you won

630
00:28:17,592 --> 00:28:20,592
the Waldo Weinberg
Mathematician of the Year Award?

631
00:28:20,622 --> 00:28:23,789
The award ceremony was last
night. Why didn't you tell me?

632
00:28:23,819 --> 00:28:25,319
It wasn't important.

633
00:28:25,637 --> 00:28:26,716
Wasn't important?

634
00:28:26,746 --> 00:28:29,322
You spent half my childhood
chasing that award.

635
00:28:29,352 --> 00:28:30,818
I remember sitting in the university

636
00:28:30,820 --> 00:28:32,620
by the copy machine
while you made copies

637
00:28:32,622 --> 00:28:33,787
of invariant theory.

638
00:28:33,789 --> 00:28:36,323
This means more.

639
00:28:36,325 --> 00:28:38,659
You, your mother.

640
00:28:39,073 --> 00:28:40,394
It all means more.

641
00:28:43,199 --> 00:28:46,033
I'm sorry, Xavier.

642
00:28:46,217 --> 00:28:49,980
I just didn't have the strength
to watch my soul mate fade away,

643
00:28:50,010 --> 00:28:52,634
one little piece at a time.

644
00:28:52,664 --> 00:28:54,464
Yeah, well, what about me?

645
00:28:58,062 --> 00:29:01,715
You know, Rose said that you
needed someone to cling to.

646
00:29:02,116 --> 00:29:04,518
So did I.

647
00:29:04,899 --> 00:29:07,588
I was all alone, right
in the thick of it.

648
00:29:07,590 --> 00:29:09,123
I was selfish.

649
00:29:09,125 --> 00:29:12,359
But I was searching for solace.

650
00:29:12,361 --> 00:29:15,262
And I found it somewhere unexpected.

651
00:29:18,267 --> 00:29:19,800
Yeah, well...

652
00:29:19,802 --> 00:29:21,752
I guess I can relate to that.

653
00:29:23,914 --> 00:29:28,453
I was recently dating this girl

654
00:29:28,483 --> 00:29:31,633
who said that I was running
away from what I feared.

655
00:29:33,349 --> 00:29:36,617
Guess
it runs in the family, eh?

656
00:29:36,619 --> 00:29:37,890
Yeah.

657
00:29:38,912 --> 00:29:41,562
Fear can make us do
some things we regret.

658
00:29:45,357 --> 00:29:47,227
Look, I...

659
00:29:47,229 --> 00:29:51,432
I don't know if I'm
ready to bury the hatchet.

660
00:29:54,403 --> 00:29:57,053
But maybe we could
start digging the hole.

661
00:30:01,030 --> 00:30:03,043
I was gonna...

662
00:30:03,045 --> 00:30:06,213
spread Mom's ashes tonight.

663
00:30:06,759 --> 00:30:08,909
Don't know if you wanted to join.

664
00:30:09,764 --> 00:30:12,364
It would be the highest
honor of my life.

665
00:30:13,656 --> 00:30:15,556
Honestly.

666
00:30:23,959 --> 00:30:25,709
Son, where's your mother?

667
00:30:32,056 --> 00:30:34,764
Hey. Um, there's no way

668
00:30:34,794 --> 00:30:36,525
you could go meet
Corporate with me right now

669
00:30:36,527 --> 00:30:38,694
and pretend to be a
representative from, say,

670
00:30:38,696 --> 00:30:41,052
the American Heart
Association, is there?

671
00:30:41,082 --> 00:30:43,149
No. I got to un-return these returns

672
00:30:43,151 --> 00:30:45,818
and get back my bad name.

673
00:30:48,022 --> 00:30:50,389
- _
- EVIE: Okay, uh...

674
00:30:50,391 --> 00:30:52,946
I need a plan. Even if
it's a crazy one. I could...

675
00:30:52,976 --> 00:30:55,561
Run around and... and flap your arms.

676
00:30:55,563 --> 00:30:57,930
Flapping one's
arms is the last thing

677
00:30:57,932 --> 00:31:00,332
you should encourage a
burning individual to do.

678
00:31:00,863 --> 00:31:02,435
$1,000 fine.

679
00:31:04,079 --> 00:31:05,805
Now, show me to the cubicles.

680
00:31:05,807 --> 00:31:08,007
Sure. They're just right o...

681
00:31:08,009 --> 00:31:10,142
Jiminy Fire Hazard!

682
00:31:10,144 --> 00:31:12,778
Give me one moment. Evie!

683
00:31:12,780 --> 00:31:13,980
Mm?

684
00:31:13,982 --> 00:31:15,114
Why does Kareema currently have

685
00:31:15,116 --> 00:31:16,515
the most flammable desk situation

686
00:31:16,517 --> 00:31:19,095
in the entire history of Cybermart?

687
00:31:19,125 --> 00:31:21,514
Oh, 'cause she wants to make a good
impression with the I.N.S., so she's...

688
00:31:21,544 --> 00:31:23,256
Okay, you know what? Never mind.

689
00:31:23,258 --> 00:31:25,380
Just hide all that stuff
before the fire inspector sees.

690
00:31:25,410 --> 00:31:27,477
Yeah. Right. Yeah. Uh...

691
00:31:27,479 --> 00:31:30,413
So. Archie. Arch.

692
00:31:31,308 --> 00:31:32,115
Um...

693
00:31:32,117 --> 00:31:34,751
you know, I think it
would be good for you

694
00:31:34,781 --> 00:31:38,654
to just, you know, open
up, just tell a... long...

695
00:31:40,391 --> 00:31:41,891
long story.

696
00:31:41,893 --> 00:31:43,893
Like about that fire where

697
00:31:43,895 --> 00:31:45,528
you lost your...

698
00:31:45,530 --> 00:31:47,063
your eyebrows.

699
00:31:47,065 --> 00:31:49,866
- Is that what people say?
- Yeah.

700
00:31:49,868 --> 00:31:51,400
- I just have alopecia.
- Wait.

701
00:31:51,402 --> 00:31:52,835
You have alopecia?

702
00:31:52,837 --> 00:31:54,237
My favorite cousin Chauncey

703
00:31:54,239 --> 00:31:56,506
has alopecia. We used
to have a magic act,

704
00:31:56,508 --> 00:31:58,941
and he'd make me draw on his
eyebrows before every show.

705
00:31:58,943 --> 00:32:00,777
- No kidding.
- Yeah. Yeah.

706
00:32:00,779 --> 00:32:02,845
Did he use felt-tip,
or-or permanent marker?

707
00:32:02,847 --> 00:32:04,747
Hmm.

708
00:32:07,218 --> 00:32:10,386
I can't believe this whole time
I've been a cog in the machine.

709
00:32:10,388 --> 00:32:12,255
A <i>sturdy</i> cog.

710
00:32:12,257 --> 00:32:14,578
Well, even if you are a corporate drone,

711
00:32:14,937 --> 00:32:16,526
you'll always be a rebel to me.

712
00:32:16,528 --> 00:32:18,161
That means nothing coming from you.

713
00:32:18,163 --> 00:32:20,843
You're, like, the droniest of drones.

714
00:32:20,873 --> 00:32:22,865
- No offense.
- Yeah, well,

715
00:32:22,867 --> 00:32:25,101
I'm about to do something very undroney.

716
00:32:25,103 --> 00:32:27,136
Corporate's waiting for me
in the conference room, and

717
00:32:27,138 --> 00:32:29,138
I have nothing to present for CyberHugs.

718
00:32:31,483 --> 00:32:33,985
Would a box of used junk
impress our overlords?

719
00:32:34,015 --> 00:32:37,922
Just because it's used doesn't
necessarily mean it's junk.

720
00:32:40,419 --> 00:32:41,484
<i>Cybermart keeps looking</i>

721
00:32:41,486 --> 00:32:43,452
for charities to align itself with,

722
00:32:43,454 --> 00:32:45,922
but it has its own charity right here,

723
00:32:45,924 --> 00:32:48,224
built into its very infrastructure.

724
00:32:48,765 --> 00:32:52,128
I was recently reminded
not to throw the baby out

725
00:32:52,130 --> 00:32:53,896
with the bathwater.

726
00:32:54,333 --> 00:32:56,532
What if we asked customers

727
00:32:56,534 --> 00:33:00,255
to repurpose delivery
boxes as donation boxes?

728
00:33:00,615 --> 00:33:02,505
They could fill them
up with old clothes,

729
00:33:02,507 --> 00:33:04,106
toys, even canned food,

730
00:33:04,108 --> 00:33:06,509
and a Cybermart delivery
person in the area would take it

731
00:33:06,511 --> 00:33:08,845
to a nearby shelter or donation center.

732
00:33:08,847 --> 00:33:11,848
We could call it "Getters and Givers."

733
00:33:13,567 --> 00:33:15,279
It's not bad.

734
00:33:15,638 --> 00:33:19,664
It would barely cost us
anything to set in motion, and...

735
00:33:20,194 --> 00:33:22,832
it would be quite the PR boon.

736
00:33:24,184 --> 00:33:28,931
For someone that smells like
soup, you've got good ideas.

737
00:33:32,157 --> 00:33:33,402
I can't believe that

738
00:33:33,404 --> 00:33:36,015
you packed your own mother
into a bunch of fireworks.

739
00:33:36,045 --> 00:33:37,974
As you get to know me
better, it'll become easier

740
00:33:37,976 --> 00:33:40,476
to believe.

741
00:33:40,478 --> 00:33:42,912
Mom loved fireworks.

742
00:33:42,914 --> 00:33:45,448
She really did. It's a fitting tribute.

743
00:33:46,103 --> 00:33:48,417
You know, this is a hydroelectric dam.

744
00:33:48,419 --> 00:33:50,186
Yeah.

745
00:33:50,188 --> 00:33:51,787
Which means that her ashes will enter

746
00:33:51,789 --> 00:33:54,557
into the energy system
of this entire city.

747
00:33:54,559 --> 00:33:57,393
A tiny little micro particle of her

748
00:33:57,395 --> 00:34:00,129
in every lit light bulb in Seattle.

749
00:34:01,933 --> 00:34:04,300
I'll be able to see her wherever I go.

750
00:34:04,302 --> 00:34:06,002
Yeah.

751
00:34:12,377 --> 00:34:15,177
♪♪

752
00:34:28,744 --> 00:34:30,250
_

753
00:34:30,507 --> 00:34:32,612
_

754
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:38,859
Please put me in touch with your cousin.

755
00:34:38,861 --> 00:34:40,427
It sounds like we'd have
so much to talk about.

756
00:34:40,429 --> 00:34:43,581
Absolutely. You two
should start a podcast.

757
00:34:43,611 --> 00:34:46,663
<i>No Hair, Don't Care with
Archie and Chauncey.</i>

758
00:34:54,607 --> 00:34:56,247
You know, I'm really
not supposed to do this,

759
00:34:56,277 --> 00:34:58,644
but I don't want $7,500 in fines

760
00:34:58,646 --> 00:35:01,146
to complicate this
friendship we've developed.

761
00:35:01,148 --> 00:35:04,016
- I totally agree, man.
- But please

762
00:35:04,018 --> 00:35:05,423
brush up on the fire code, okay?

763
00:35:05,453 --> 00:35:06,836
Will do.

764
00:35:08,359 --> 00:35:10,556
Hey, nicely done.

765
00:35:10,558 --> 00:35:13,063
What? Yeah! Well, we should, um...

766
00:35:13,093 --> 00:35:15,079
we should celebrate
our personal victories.

767
00:35:15,109 --> 00:35:16,328
Want to do drinks at Horsemen's?

768
00:35:16,330 --> 00:35:17,867
It's so late. I should
go check on Deirdre.

769
00:35:17,897 --> 00:35:20,838
Yeah. And I'm meeting Sofia, so...

770
00:35:21,323 --> 00:35:22,323
Oh.

771
00:35:32,639 --> 00:35:34,335
You were incredible.

772
00:35:35,383 --> 00:35:37,149
Who would have thought that appealing

773
00:35:37,151 --> 00:35:39,785
to a fellow professional
on a personal level

774
00:35:39,787 --> 00:35:42,849
would create such a
helpful sense of rapport?

775
00:35:42,879 --> 00:35:44,158
I'm sorry I had to ditch you,

776
00:35:44,188 --> 00:35:46,988
but your sore throat
took your vocal prowess

777
00:35:47,018 --> 00:35:49,281
to an unexpected 11.

778
00:35:49,606 --> 00:35:53,455
No, I take full
responsibility for that. I...

779
00:35:53,661 --> 00:35:55,434
With our history, I
never should have put you

780
00:35:55,436 --> 00:35:58,504
in the position where I
was deep inside your ear.

781
00:36:02,144 --> 00:36:03,856
Well, I should probably head out.

782
00:36:05,670 --> 00:36:08,277
I dated David Copperfield.

783
00:36:11,144 --> 00:36:12,318
What?!

784
00:36:14,322 --> 00:36:18,457
I heard you talk about
sawing your cousin in half.

785
00:36:18,459 --> 00:36:21,274
I actually urged Dave
to saw a man in half

786
00:36:21,304 --> 00:36:24,296
as I felt constantly sawing women was

787
00:36:24,298 --> 00:36:28,684
such a dangerous anti-feminist
metaphor, and, you know, well,

788
00:36:28,714 --> 00:36:30,674
we broke up shortly after that.

789
00:36:30,704 --> 00:36:33,172
Were you there when he made
the Statue of Liberty disappear?

790
00:36:33,174 --> 00:36:36,508
He originally wanted to
do the Staten Island Ferry.

791
00:36:36,510 --> 00:36:39,317
I said, “Dave, think bigger.”

792
00:36:39,347 --> 00:36:41,013
Oh, my God!

793
00:36:41,015 --> 00:36:43,382
I can't believe we've
never talked magic before.

794
00:36:43,384 --> 00:36:46,318
It's one of my favored
conversation topics.

795
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:49,607
I got so excited when I
heard you mention your act.

796
00:36:49,637 --> 00:36:51,023
- I want to hear everything about it.
- Okay.

797
00:36:51,025 --> 00:36:53,005
Well, we started off
with a reverse trick.

798
00:36:53,035 --> 00:36:56,262
- Oh.
- So we pulled a hat out of a... a...

799
00:36:58,267 --> 00:36:59,734
We shouldn't be doing this.

800
00:36:59,764 --> 00:37:00,933
Well, we're just talking.

801
00:37:00,935 --> 00:37:02,761
No. You're engaged.

802
00:37:02,791 --> 00:37:05,514
We can't be tempting
ourselves like this.

803
00:37:05,544 --> 00:37:06,947
You know, it's not fair to Pete,

804
00:37:06,977 --> 00:37:08,974
or to us.

805
00:37:08,976 --> 00:37:11,510
I'm glad you're feeling better.

806
00:37:22,924 --> 00:37:25,357
Hey, you made it.

807
00:37:26,489 --> 00:37:27,631
I can't believe you want to waste

808
00:37:27,661 --> 00:37:30,029
my Grocers' Blowout prize money

809
00:37:30,031 --> 00:37:30,908
at Four Horsemen's.

810
00:37:30,938 --> 00:37:34,033
Okay, first off, it's not prize money.

811
00:37:34,035 --> 00:37:35,668
It's a gift certificate.

812
00:37:35,670 --> 00:37:37,569
Secondly, Four Horsemen is
an incredible establishment.

813
00:37:37,571 --> 00:37:39,305
Otherwise, we wouldn't keep coming back.

814
00:37:39,307 --> 00:37:42,841
And thirdly, since you're paying
with said gift certificate,

815
00:37:42,843 --> 00:37:47,046
it's time to try...
the unlabeled bottle.

816
00:37:55,631 --> 00:37:57,323
Hey.

817
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:00,760
Aah!

818
00:38:02,463 --> 00:38:05,030
It tastes like pine
needles and lighter fluid.

819
00:38:05,032 --> 00:38:06,865
_

820
00:38:06,867 --> 00:38:09,849
It's... that's accurate.

821
00:38:09,879 --> 00:38:11,603
- Oh.
- Aah.

822
00:38:15,492 --> 00:38:16,475
So it's back

823
00:38:16,477 --> 00:38:19,078
to the hotel and then
straight to the airport.

824
00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:21,718
Well, uh, I'm really glad you came.

825
00:38:22,060 --> 00:38:23,916
Me, too. And you be sure to thank

826
00:38:23,918 --> 00:38:26,731
that incredibly smart woman
for getting you to call me.

827
00:38:26,761 --> 00:38:28,526
Yeah, I will.

828
00:38:28,914 --> 00:38:30,556
Look, I know that
communication's not exactly

829
00:38:30,558 --> 00:38:33,922
our strong suit, but maybe
we could speak once a week.

830
00:38:34,487 --> 00:38:36,059
Monday nights.

831
00:38:36,487 --> 00:38:40,137
Yeah. Yeah, I think I could manage that.

832
00:38:40,746 --> 00:38:43,635
Well, I'll talk to you soon, son.

833
00:38:45,897 --> 00:38:47,906
Just in case I never see you again.

834
00:38:50,060 --> 00:38:51,270
What?

835
00:38:51,544 --> 00:38:53,245
You never know.

836
00:38:55,899 --> 00:38:57,251
Bye.

837
00:39:20,107 --> 00:39:23,999
Ah. You know, I thought for
sure you were going to pass.

838
00:39:24,029 --> 00:39:26,245
Why would I pass? I knew the answer.

839
00:39:26,247 --> 00:39:28,805
All beans are legumes,

840
00:39:28,835 --> 00:39:30,883
but not all legumes are beans.

841
00:39:30,885 --> 00:39:33,952
Yeah, well, you know, the
old Timothy would have passed,

842
00:39:33,954 --> 00:39:36,488
just to spare me the
humiliation of getting

843
00:39:36,490 --> 00:39:37,890
souped.

844
00:39:37,892 --> 00:39:39,925
Well, I'm not old Timothy anymore.

845
00:39:39,927 --> 00:39:41,794
Yeah, I've noticed.

846
00:39:41,796 --> 00:39:44,229
You know, you and I have
so much history together,

847
00:39:44,231 --> 00:39:47,499
and yet you still have the
capacity to surprise me.

848
00:39:47,501 --> 00:39:50,836
Well, <i>you</i> surprise <i>me.</i>

849
00:39:52,488 --> 00:39:54,807
And honestly

850
00:39:54,809 --> 00:39:57,376
I've been pretty inspired by it.

851
00:40:03,609 --> 00:40:05,250
Am I your rebound?

852
00:40:05,996 --> 00:40:08,248
Because I'm not necessarily opposed.

853
00:40:08,278 --> 00:40:11,837
You're not, you're not my rebound.

854
00:40:11,867 --> 00:40:14,893
We're just living in the moment.

855
00:40:19,807 --> 00:40:21,634
Hey, this is Evie. I'm not here.

856
00:40:21,664 --> 00:40:23,308
After the beep, do your thing.

857
00:40:24,171 --> 00:40:26,538
Hey, Evie, it's, um... it's me.

858
00:40:26,540 --> 00:40:28,980
Um... my dad just left.

859
00:40:29,010 --> 00:40:31,251
It was... occasionally terrible,

860
00:40:31,281 --> 00:40:33,599
but also kind of amazing.

861
00:40:33,629 --> 00:40:34,713
You were right.

862
00:40:34,715 --> 00:40:37,516
I... I didn't want my
past to matter, but...

863
00:40:37,546 --> 00:40:40,519
but it's part of me.

864
00:40:41,252 --> 00:40:42,760
And it's everywhere.

865
00:40:43,518 --> 00:40:45,324
Um, you know, when
I called my dad, I...

866
00:40:45,326 --> 00:40:47,960
I wanted to do it for
you, but he got here,

867
00:40:47,962 --> 00:40:50,629
and then I realized I
needed to do it for me.

868
00:40:50,631 --> 00:40:54,900
And I... I feel like I'm just
closer to being my whole self.

869
00:40:55,864 --> 00:40:57,803
Uh, look, this is too
much to say over the phone,

870
00:40:57,805 --> 00:40:59,605
so let's just meet up.

871
00:40:59,607 --> 00:41:01,640
There's literally no one else on Earth

872
00:41:01,642 --> 00:41:03,986
I'd rather talk to right now.

873
00:41:13,916 --> 00:41:20,748
= synced and corrected by Shahrazade =
= resynced by lonewolf =
... www.addic7ed.com ...

