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[cat purrs, meows]
[fast, lively flamenco music playing]
[screams]
[giggles]
[Puss yowling] El Gato!
[yowls]
3x13 - Skeleton Town
[Puss clears throat] My fellow San Lorenzans, since always,
our town has welcomed those who would make it better.
For example, the time you welcomed me and I made San Lorenzo better.
Puss in the Boots, you have only made things worse.
Nonsense. Just today, I have returned with the Crown of Souls
to help us defeat the Bloodwolf.
Well, if we can figure out what it does.
I think it might be a snake.
[shrieks]
Regardless, today we welcome new and industrious citizens to San Lorenzo.
These skeletons.
[skeletons moaning]
[teeth chattering]
[gasps]
Now, it is time to mingle.
[indistinct chatter]
[wheezing, moaning]
You see, Gregor, I told you everything would work out.
[guttural wheezing]
[laughs]
Yes, I do not know what that means. But, here, have a hat.
[whimpering]
Hello.
[hissing]
[gasps] [hisses]
[screams]
Say, these skeletons is all right.
Look. They like pickles.
Yummy, yummy, yum.
Oh, you and me is gonna be good pals.
[skull wheezes] [shrieks]
They're horrible!
It is pronounced "wonderful."
He is probably going to draw the skeletons a picture.
Puss, are they, maybe, just a little, incredibly creepy?
No offense.
Nonsense. They are the same as we are. Regular people beings.
[townsfolk whimpering]
[sighs] Um...
Puss in the Boots, your new friends terrify me.
[Eames whimpering]
Where are you going?
We have many good memories waiting to be made.
Well, uh, look at the time.
[people shrieking]
[doors and windows slamming shut]
[wind whistles]
My friends, they will come around.
Keep acting like the ladies and skeleton-men that you are
and you will win their hearts, just as you have won mine.
Now, let us go get some drinks.
[skeletons wheezing]
Fiddlesticks!
How can everyone be so afraid of the skeletons
when, clearly, I am far more terrifying?
[bleats]
[both laugh]
Goats is funny.
[skeletons moaning] [whimpering]
[guttural wheezing]
You going to order something?
[bones rattling]
You gonna say something?
Hello?
I think they're jealous of my skin. You can't have my skin!
[whimpering]
[whimpers]
[groans]
Oh, that's it! I cannot take it anymore!
Everybody without skin, get out! Out of my cantina!
Pajuna Michelle Cowandmoone!
Do you think that's my name?
Why would you expel these Official Friends of Puss?
Hereafter referred to as "OFPs."
Two reasons. They are unsettling to look at.
They're scaring my customers away.
And they make me so nervous, I cannot count.
I do not accept this. They are wonderful creatures.
With pleasing hollow eyes and delightfully spider-like hands.
Their guttural hiss is a rich symphony for the ears.
Please, make yourselves comfortable, OFPs.
We are great friends, all of us.
Always friending around and joking to one another.
Tell a joke, amigo.
[guttural wheeze]
[buzzing]
[laughs]
That was "humerus." See?
You've not convinced me.
All skeletons, out. Out! Out!
[skeletons wheezing]
- No. No! [yowls] - You too, Puss.
These are our new friends.
Out!
[sighs]
I apologize, skeleton friends.
Usually, San Lorenzans are more open-minded.
[wheezes quizzically]
I know what you mean, my friend. Trying to convince people
to change their prejudices is very, really very difficult.
Perhaps we just need to work on your appearance a little.
Come with me at once, skeletons.
[kids laughing]
[Vina] Toby, Toby, Toby!
[chuckles]
[footsteps approaching]
[bleating]
[bleats]
[all laughing]
Why does your crying sound so much like laughter?
Because we are laughing, Ules.
But are you not repulsed und horrified by my terrifying ways?
Is that rhetorical? Also, what's "rhetorical"?
Uli, did you know that you're the funniest person I've ever met?
And she's met everyone who's ever lived.
No, no, no! I am not! I am not! I am not! I am scary und awful.
Aw, come off it. Say, give us a dance, will ya? Come on.
[chanting] Dance! Dance!
I will show you a mighty terrifying dance.
So terrifying, you will be scared for eternity!
Holy smokes! [Vina and Toby gasp]
[upbeat instrumental music playing]
[all cheering]
Nein! Nein! I am a fearsome villain.
I will prove it to you, once and for all.
Goodbye.
[bleating]
[laughing]
[doors creaking]
[all whimpering]
Introducing San Lorenzo's Skeleton Ambassadors.
[wheezing]
[Puss] Behold, they are just like us. They wear clothing. And have faces.
[whimpering]
These ambassadors are here to answer your questions.
Ask them anything. So long as it is skeleton-related.
How old are you?
[voice quavers] Are you a guy or a girl?
Do you use the bathroom?
- When did you die? - How did you die?
- Do you feel cold? - Do you get sick?
Do you plan to steal our skins?
[gasps] The skeletons are gonna steal our skins!
[all screaming]
Get them out of here, Puss. They're putting the fear in my customers.
Okay, okay, all right, all right. We are leaving.
Unless you want us to stay.
[screaming gets louder]
[Pajuna] Get out!
[Puss groans, yowls]
Good night, Pajuna.
[Pajuna] Good night, laddie. Get home safe.
[burps]
[skeletons wheezing]
[laughs nervously]
[skeletons wheezing, moaning]
[grunts]
[shrieks]
[teeth chattering]
[gasps]
[teeth chattering]
[screaming]
[whimpering]
[screaming]
[panting]
[Puss] Yes, and then my good friend Gregor turns to me and says...
[imitates wheezing]
[laughs]
That jokey jokester.
[grunts]
[whimpering]
Sweet Fancy Felina! Eames, you look terrible.
I can't sleep. Too afraid the skeletons are gonna eat me.
What are you talking about, Eames? They are our friends.
[whimpering]
The skeletons, they're building something. A death machine!
I knew it!
[all gasping]
Now, now, let us not panic.
Aw.
If what Eames is saying is true, we have a serious problem on our hands.
But...
But if I am to take the foul, soul-crushing step
of going back on my sacred word, I must be certain.
I will go live amongst them as a native
and investigate their true motives with fresh eyes.
[grunts]
Whoa! [groans]
[grunts]
[Uli giggles maniacally]
[lock clicks] Ah!
[chuckling]
Look at all the items of destruction!
[bleats]
Oh-ho-ho-ho!
Meh. [sword clatters]
Hmm. Nah. [booming]
Hmm?
Nah! [explosion]
Nein. Axes are gauche.
Ah!
Hmm. [whirring]
Nein. That would get old quickly.
[gasps]
Was ist?
Hmm. [laughs]
Hmm.
Ooh!
[giggles]
Ooh!
[giggles]
Where have you been all of mein goaty life?
[laughing maniacally]
Now we will see who is scary. [cackling]
[rumbling] [skeletons wheezing]
[skeletons hissing]
Huh? [gasps]
[straining]
[shrieks]
[chuckles] Gregor. It is good to see you.
[teeth chattering]
[screaming]
[teeth chattering]
[indistinct chatter]
- Well? - Leche.
Ah!
Spit it out.
What did you see?
I am afraid Eames was right.
[gasps, murmurs]
Yes!
The skeletons are up to something. They are horrible creatures.
With disturbing, hollow eyes. And awful, spider-like hands.
Their guttural hiss is death to the ears.
I knew it!
Senior Puss Squad, or some better name, assemble!
[rustling]
Senior Puss Squad?
They're not here.
They said something about a super-secret mission.
[softly] Five Sweetie Boy dolls, please.
[yells] And tell no one of our shame!
Darn it.
[sighs] I had a dream.
A dream of skeletons and San Lorenzans living in harmony.
And then a sandwich chased me and asked me...
What kind of a sandwich?
That is not important!
Ham and cheese.
That dream is dead.
All of you were right.
I was... [groans]
...wrong.
[indistinct chatter]
We must go to war at once!
[clamoring]
I have a plan.
Now...
panic! [all screaming]
Hooray! Freak out!
[man] Oh, I'm going nuts!
[mooing] [yowls]
That is... Wow. Just...
There's lot of activity going on.
Perhaps we can all panic in a slightly less chaotic way.
[all continue yelling] [horse neighs]
[whistles]
[glass shattering]
[Artephius grunts]
[horse neighs]
When I came here, I swore to protect San Lorenzo.
But it seems that I have failed, for the first time ever.
Ha!
I will do what I should have done at the beginning
and ask the skeletons to leave. Surely I can reason with them.
After all, are we not all skeletons under our skin?
[low murmurs]
Ooh! Aah! A skeleton! It's inside me! Get it out! Get it out!
[groans]
But, Puss, what if they won't listen to reason?
All they ever do is stare dead-eyed and go...
[imitates skeletons wheezing]
Then I will do what I...
[explosion] [people gasping]
Whoa!
Stay here!
[gasps]
[people screaming]
[panting]
Whoa. [screams]
[laughs maniacally]
This is what you get, San Lorenzo!
[echoing] This is what you deserve for doubting me!
Uli! Stop this at once!
Hmm.
Nein.
[grunting]
Pajuna! Buckets!
I've got some in the back.
[laughs maliciously]
Perish in a rain of fire, Herr Boots!
Huh? Uh-oh.
[blowing, sputtering]
We'll take care of the fire. You stop Uli.
More water!
[grunting]
Hot boots! Hot boots! Ow, ow, ow!
[roaring]
[groans]
[grunts]
[groans]
[straining]
[laughs wickedly]
Now you shall face my wrath, Herr Boots!
[Puss screaming]
Huh?
[snarls]
[skeletons wheezing]
Gregor! Skeletons!
[groans]
The skeletons are ruining everything.
[wheezes angrily]
[roars]
[gasps]
[Uli whimpering]
[skeletons growling]
Oh, dear.
[screams, grunts]
[straining]
Let me out! Let me out! Let me out!
I hate mein little boney cage. It is cramping mein hoovsies.
Well, I'm sorry, but if you act evil all the time
and constantly try to horribly maim everyone,
you're gonna have to live in a bone cage.
[whimpers] All I wish is for everyone to respect mein evil deeds.
Hmm. Uli, people respect those who do good, not evil.
Kindness is always returned with kindness.
Pfft. There is no way this is true.
Those skeletons did good, and look at the respect they receive.
[skeleton wheezing] [man laughing]
[woman] Oh! [chuckles]
[laughing] Whee!
You're all right, skeleton.
[laughs]
Oh, skeletons is funny.
[sighs]
Is it possible that everything I know is wrong?
[sighs]
I was brought up in the ancient und terrible order of Das Blutwolf
where we were taught that doing evil was good.
But could doing evil be bad?
Dulcinea, maybe...
maybe I could do... good?
If you're willing to change, I'm willing to give you a chance.
But I do not know how.
I'll help you.
We'll all help you.
Wait, where did the skeletons go?
[rumbling]
[Dulcinea gasps]
[straining]
So, this is what they were preparing.
[guttural wheezing]
- This is a charming float. - How lovely.
[wheezing, moaning]
Aah...
[upbeat music playing]
[zombie-like groan]
[exaggerated grunting]
[hissing]
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