sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~
[cat purrs, meows]
[fast, lively flamenco music playing]
[screams]
[giggles]
[Puss yowling] El Gato!
[yowls]
4x06 - Breaking Good
[thief screaming]
[all panting]
[exclaims, groans]
Help! Help me! [screaming] No!
[shrieks] Whoa!
[cries out]
[panting, screaming]
[screams]
[exclaiming]
Behold! My furry fists of fury.
[yowls] [screaming]
[smacking]
[groaning]
[groans] [thuds]
[Puss] Halt! [both gasp]
[exclaiming]
[thief] Whoa!
We don't want to fight you. [both gasp]
If you do not want to fight Puss in Boots,
why are you a thief in San Lorenzo?
Ha! [gasping]
- We are not thieves! - Hey!
- Mm-mm. - Thief!
[all grunting]
- Stop it. - You stop it.
We are just defending ourselves. [sword clanging]
We are not thieves.
Nonsense!
[grunts] [thief screams]
I know thieves when I see them.
- And you are... - Students!
- Students? - Students. At my school!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oh, yeah.
What school?
Miss Dulcinea's School for Wayward Thieves.
But what... wh...
why associate with thieves? [thief growls]
It worked out so wonderfully before that I decided to re-open it.
Hello.
Good afternoon. [growls]
Wonderfully? Your students unleashed
a righteous war, destroying everything in sight.
You can't prove that.
Besides, it's part of an exchange program. Thieves come here,
and the Senior Puss Squad goes to the Thieves' Market
to study the fine points of thief culture.
Now repeat after me.
[sipping]
[burps]
[gulping]
[all burping]
[The Duchess continues burping]
Very good. In no time, you will be a bunch of...
Scheming, filthy degenerates. That is all thieves are.
That wasn't very nice.
Thieves are not very nice.
They are incapable of change and I will not let you waste...
♪ As the trusty sparrow builds his nest ♪
♪ On the path towards goodness We'll not rest ♪
Wunderbar! Lovely!
Uli!
Ah! Herr Boots!
What are you doing here?
He's my star pupil.
But he is not a thief.
No, but he has committed himself to being good.
Mm-hmm.
To prove it, he even wrote an essay on the Crown of Souls.
"Everything I know about the Crown of Souls,
which is almost nothing. By Ulschalk SÃ¼ndenbock."
It's very short.
[sighs wearily]
Won't you join our choir, Puss?
Oh! Um... no.
- # Please # - # Please #
♪ Please ♪
♪ Puss! ♪
I have to go. Because...
something.
[Puss yowls, screams]
[Dulcinea] All right, class.
Who can complete the following rhyme from the book?
"When a friend is feeling blue..."
Give them a haircut!
Threaten a shopkeeper.
[Uli] Oh, I know, Miss Dulcinea.
[Dulcinea] Go ahead, Uli.
[grunting]
[humming]
"When a friend is feeling blue, lend an ear is what you do."
Show off.
"When the eyes show jealousy, make a bonnet, one, two, three."
Why do you have this?
Uli, you've been studying.
Ja, Miss Dulcinea.
I am making the studyings every evening for six hours,
followed by light calisthenics und dancing.
Well, I'm very impressed.
To think, just a few weeks ago, you were trying to burn the town down,
and now, you could be teaching your own class.
Okay, everyone, let's move on.
Me? Teach mein own goaty class?
[accordion playing]
♪ Could it really be Someone as evil as me ♪
♪ Could become a teacher Of the ways of good? ♪
♪ Unlikely as it seems I'd help them achieve their dreams ♪
♪ Und becomes the greatest teacher In the world! ♪
[coughs]
What just happened?
[thief] "Bluebird, bluebird, singing loud,
your fancy plumage makes me..."
Uh, is "shmoud" a word?
[sighs]
What's important is that you're trying.
♪ Do-dee-dee-dee-dee Do-do-do-do-do ♪
Huh?
Hmm.
[grunts] [thief screaming]
[screaming, groaning]
[fighting grunts continue]
[whimpering]
[clangs]
You are getting boot stompings all over our flashcards!
Huh?
Ah.
You are studying because you are students.
[clinking]
[snorts]
Yes, sorry.
Old habits are hard to break.
Sorry. Sorry, everyone.
[grunts]
Sorry.
Hmm.
[clattering]
I'd ask that you not decapitate my customers till after they've paid.
I cannot stand it!
All of these thieves, and I cannot fight them.
They're not thieves, Puss.
They're Dulcinea's students.
I know, I know.
And I swear, I will not attack another...
[shouts] Ha! [thief groans]
Puss!
I... have a problem.
That ye do, laddie.
That ye do.
Must not attack. Must not attack.
Must... not... attack.
[gasping]
[thieves laughing]
"When a fellow passes by, tip your hat and tell him hi."
Hi.
[both laughing]
Yes! Hello, person who has a right to exist.
[groaning]
[whimpering]
I...
- [thief] Huh? - Everyone see that?
[gasps]
[all gasp]
He threatened me with a dagger. [gasping]
I did not. [dagger clanging]
Let me tell you one of my favorite rhymes, Puss.
[Pajuna shouts] Get out! [Puss screaming]
[groans]
[thieves laughing]
That did not rhyme!
Unless there was more I did not hear because I am outside now!
Which is possible!
[humming]
Good morning, cla... Huh?
Hello, Dulcinea.
I am teaching your class now. Isn't that wonderful?
What the what?
I was so inspired by your words yesterday,
when you said, "Uli, you should teach class,"
that I decided to do precisely as you said.
Excuse me.
- Um, I don't think I said that. - Is this the part?
Ja. Und in saying this, you changed mein little goaty life.
I completely understand do-gooding now.
As long as you rhyme, whatever you do is good.
That's not entirely how it works... [book smacks shut]
He is the greatest teacher we have ever had
and we will do whatever he says.
Well, that's nice, but... I think we should get back to the lesson plan.
No way!
We want Uli! We want Uli!
[all] We want Uli! We want Uli!
We want Uli! We want Uli!
Maybe Uli could be my assistant!
We have a different idea.
Whoa!
And keep your stupid book!
[gasps]
Huh?
[Puss] Dulcinea? [gasps]
This isn't what it looks like.
It looks like you are smelling the door with your ear.
Which would mean...
[Puss gasps]
[shouts] Can you hear with your nose?
I wish I could hear with my nose.
Maybe then my students wouldn't have chosen Uli over me.
Dulcinea, are you... jealous?
No. I'm not jealous...
Tut-tut-tut-tut! Do not feel bad. I, too, am jealous.
Jealous of those who are allowed to engage in combat with filthy thieves!
Hyah!
[thieves screaming]
Puss. [grunting] [grunting]
Sorry. Sorry. My mistake.
"When anger simmers in your heart, find some fruit and bake a tart."
I do not want to bake a tart. I want to fight thieves.
I am so good at it. I miss it. I miss it.
And I miss teaching my class. It was my whole life.
I cannot fight the thieves, but I cannot not fight the thieves.
I am going to lock myself in my room forever until I learn to control myself.
[clicks heels]
And I'll start a new school out of petty spite.
My Ulites. People will try to tell you,
"Surely, we do not need to do good all of the time.
Perhaps we can just do good some of the time?"
Yes!
[murmuring]
Nein! Do you want to be good? Do you?
[all] Yes, we do!
- Uli, Uli, please. - Teach me the goodness.
- We want to be good, please! - I want to walk on sunshine.
[thief moaning in pain] I sense you have an ailment, friend.
My stomach is always making such gas. [moans]
It is horrible.
"When your belly hurts you so, distract the mind
und stub a toe." [smacks]
[groans loudly]
Why did you do that?
How does your stomach feel?
Hmm... Um...
Why... I am cured!
Behold the power of rhyme.
- Wowy! - Unbelievable!
- It's a miracle. - Now, my Ulites.
Go forth und spread goodness, no matter what the cost.
Soon the evil shall repent. Now, let us do good without consent.
[all] Huzzah!
[bleating] [door slams shut]
[bleating maniacally]
So, you will role play the part of a thief,
and I will try not to attack you.
Now, I simply imagine that you are a thief.
[sword clanging]
[screams] It was so sudden and violent!
Sweet Felina! My problem is worse than I thought.
This calls for...
extreme measures.
[humming]
[mug clinks] [thief growling]
[whimpering, chuckling nervously]
[screams] What you think yer doin'?
"Drinking pee is gross and weird like a turtle with a beard."
That wasn't pee. It was milk.
Eh, same difference.
Don't listen to 'em, laddie. You look very handsome.
[growling]
[growls] Where is your skin?
"Ew, ew, ew! Cover your bones whatever you do."
[sneezes]
"Never, ever spread your germs. Do you accept our righteous terms?"
Mmm-mm.
"Do not wear a shirt of red unless you want to lose your head!"
[all laughing]
[air whistling]
Hey. What'd you do that for?
"Making others feel so sad is always, always, always bad."
Did you know that doesn't make sense?
"Shut your mouth, you demon spawn, and make yourself be gone, gone, gone."
Hey. None of those rhymes are from my book.
We don't need a book. We have impromptu rhymes on our side.
[sword clangs] Now scram. All of you.
[Dulcinea gasps]
Come on, children, let's go.
[grunts, growls]
[snorting, growling]
♪ Spreading good improves the world ♪
♪ We chant our rhymes, our flag unfurled ♪
♪ With Uli's guidance, farewell, frowns ♪
♪ We'll spread our word to all the towns ♪
♪ We know what's best for all of you So, we will tell you what to do ♪
♪ Because we feel you are too dumb To make your own decisions, chum ♪
♪ A better world for you and me ♪
♪ Governed by ideology ♪
Bravo. With your beautiful voices und helpful rhymes,
we have transformed San Lorenzo
into the most good place of all time.
♪ Yeah! ♪
[loud clamoring outside]
[clamoring continues]
We've had it up to here with you and your gooder-than-thou rhyming.
"Sometimes people must be told how to act, young or old."
[Pajuna snorting violently]
[smacking] [thief groaning]
[thuds]
[gasps]
[growling, screaming]
- Yah! - [thieves] Huzzah!
[all screaming, grunting]
[smack] [screaming]
[neighing] [thieves groaning]
[smacking] [groaning]
[groans] [thuds]
[thief] That's my face! [groans]
[clanging] Hey, I found a candle.
[woman screaming] [clanging]
[strumming light melody]
[grunting, clanging]
[smack] [groans]
Yes!
Hey, what's happening? What's happening?
Oh, oh, I'm old.
[clanging]
[thief] Hey, get off.
[groans] [growling]
[whimpering]
[swords clanging]
[Dulcinea] Welcome to class.
I don't think anyone's coming.
Well, that's okay. You count as someone.
Are...
- Are you sure? Because... - Okay, let's start really basic.
[clears throat]
Good morning, class. The key to doing is never doing bad.
[chalk striking]
[door creaking]
Eames?
[clamoring in distance] Oh! I'm hungry and bored.
Wait. Wait, wait. Just tell me that I'm a better teacher than Uli.
I need to hear you say it!
[explosion]
[Dulcinea] Oh, my! [swords clanging]
[gasps]
[Uli bleating softly]
Uli? Are you hiding?
[voice echoes] Am I...? What? Me? Hiding?
[chuckles] That is most humorous.
[bleating nervously]
[grunts]
[panting]
Oh, it is true.
Though I tried to do good, I have made everything terrible.
I am a failure.
"When your troubles seem so bleak, play a game of hide and seek."
- Well, that didn't help. - No, no.
Look, I should've given you more guidance instead of just acting jealous.
You tried your best, and that's what counts.
It does?
Yes.
Now, before your students destroy everything in sight...
[banging] [groaning, screaming]
Ja. I shall fix mein goaty error.
[door opens]
"Tiny snail with eyes of green, how much hopscotch have you seen?"
Wow! Some of these rhymes really don't make sense.
[clamoring] [fire crackling]
[chuckles]
Nice try, subconscious.
Creating the sounds of a fake riot just to get me to fight thieves.
[chuckles] Pathetic.
[thief] "These evildoers have met their match.
Now, raze the town, we'll start from scratch."
[all gasp]
Ulites.
[hooves clomping]
Hear me now. [neighing]
[all gasp]
I, Ulschalk SÃ¼ndenbock, hereby renounce all of my teachings
und turn the school back over to its rightful leader, Dulcinea!
[chuckling]
I look forward to teaching you all tomorrow morning.
Okay? All over now. Good talk.
Tomorrow morning? What?
- What is she talking about? - I don't know.
No!
If Uli is no longer our leader, we are no longer his followers.
We are once again... filthy thieves!
[all cheering]
[gasps]
[swords clanging] Prepare to die.
[all laughing insidiously]
[thieves growling]
[screaming]
[gasps]
[all screaming] [exclaims]
[Dulcinea grunting] [Toby screaming]
Don't you want to be a student of good?
[chuckles] Oh, no. We are filthy, scheming degenerates. [grunts]
[swords clanging] [Puss grunting]
[smack] [grunts]
Ooh-hoo-hoo.
That felt really very good.
Get him! [thieves screaming]
[screams] En garde!
[grunting]
[clanging] [continues grunting]
I have missed this.
[all grunting]
[groaning]
[grunting] [groaning]
Shoot him! [exclaims]
[screaming] [whizzes]
[groans]
[gasps]
Whoo-hoo!
[grunting] Uh.
[thieves laughing] [Puss clears throat]
[grunts] [whizzes]
[all screaming]
I have not had this much fun ever!
[grunts]
[lively flamenco music playing]
[screaming]
[grunting] [smacking]
[thieves groaning]
[grunts] [smacks]
Wow! I really needed that. [cracks knuckles]
[screaming] [groaning]
[clucking tongue]
That laddie really does have a problem.
[crowd cheering loudly]
Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo!
[growls in excitement]
I guess I was wrong. People can't really change.
[laughs]
No, Dulcinea. You were right. After all, Uli changed.
[Uli bleats]
And so did we. We're scheming, filthy thieves. Huzzah!
[Golem burps] [laughing]
[groans]
[excitedly] My thieves!
sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~