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sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
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El Gato!
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4x07 - Fancy Beast
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Look at that sky, you two.
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Fantastically pink.
Like undercooked ham.
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Undercooked ham.
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You have such a way with words,
Seņora Andante.
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These phrases you construct.
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He's right, Miguela.
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After you bested all those thieves
using nothing but your words,
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it'll be a cinch for us
to defeat this monster
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- who lives in your old house.
- Yes!
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You spout some rhymes,
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and we snatch the book
about the Crown of Souls,
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while the monster is dazed.
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We will be like...
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warrior librarians.
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Warbrarians!
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Hold your horses, kitties.
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It's gonna take more than rhymes
to defeat a horrible man-eating ogre.
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Let me tell you a story.
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Once upon a time, I sold my home
to a horrible, man-eating ogre.
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The end.
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That was... not much of a story.
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I'm not much of a writer.
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Do you remember any details?
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Anything that would help us to defeat him
and get the book?
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His name is Tranche.
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He's a disgusting ogre...
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...but he wants to be a fancy aristocrat.
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That's why he bought my house
in the first place.
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Hmm. So he likes fancy things.
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I like fancy things.
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I mean, look at my boots.
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Wait! I have an idea.
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We can defeat this ogre
because he likes fancy things.
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Come, my friends.
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Does he always do that?
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Proclaim he has an idea and then run away?
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All the time.
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Was this town always so... creepy?
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Having a man-eating ogre around
tends to drive down property values.
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But back when I lived here,
Dead Man's Hollow was the place to be.
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A real open-minded community.
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Ooh! Oh, there it is! My old house.
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So, everyone is clear on the plan?
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I will portray a very, really very
fancy prince traveling with his court.
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Miguela is our handmaiden,
and Dulcinea is a princess.
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Tranche will be so impressed
by our fanciness
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that he will have no choice
but to invite us in.
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This feels like lying.
Are you comfortable with it?
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Please, being a writer is all about lying.
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That and correcting people
when they use bad grammar.
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I know lying makes you uncomfortable,
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but if we are going to save San Lorenzo,
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we need the book that Miguela stole
the Crown of Souls information from.
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The book from which I stole
the Crown of Souls information.
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Writers.
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Writers.
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Let us hope this works.
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Uli, what are you doing here?
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I was worried about you.
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So I tracked you to this place
in order to...
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Uli, listen closely. I am...
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Halt, ogre!
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Do you not see that you are
in the presence of royalty?
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Um, I am?
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Oh. Right.
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Uh, there you go.
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Righty-o!
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And whomsoever may be upon my threshold,
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please to state your name
and business, what.
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Good ogre, I am pleased to announce
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that a prince has come to call.
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Ooh, so he has!
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I can tell it's him,
because of his fancy scepter.
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Hm?
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My Liege.
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I am Tranche.
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Uh, that is, Duke, no,
Count, no, Baron Tranche,
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and I cower at your
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well-manicured hooves.
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Oh. But I am no prince.
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Huh. The only thing nobler than a prince
is a humble prince.
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My dear ogre, he was not being humble.
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He is not a prince, he...
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Commoner!
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Are you saying I don't know
a prince when I see one?
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But I...
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Because I don't like being corrected.
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It makes me wanna eat somebody.
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Ja, it is I, Prince Uli.
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Und this here is mein princess,
mein courtier,
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und mein wretched manservant,
Kitty Dum-Dum.
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Polish mein hoovesies, Kitty,
lest they sully this lovely home.
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Polish mein hoovesies.
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Mm-mm.
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Mm-mm.
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Mm-hmm.
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I daresay, My Liege,
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that's the first time my house
has been called lovely by a prince.
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It's the first time my house has been
called anything by a prince.
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Come, let me show you around.
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He is buying it.
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Oh, it will be such fun tricking
the silly ogre, ja?
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How dare you look me
in mein eye, Kitty Dum-Dum.
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You only make the eye contact mit me
when I am telling you to.
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Come along, Kitty Dum-Dum.
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This, I do not like.
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Wow, this is some place you got here,
goodly ogre.
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Pip-pip!
It certainly is.
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This fancy room is where I keep
all my squiggle-papers.
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Squiggle-papers?
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Right. These things, see? Uh...
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They're full of papers what've got
all these little bitty squiggles on 'em.
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Rather comical, what?
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Mostly, I use 'em for bathroom paper.
Ahh!
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Oh, great and noble Tranche,
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would you mind if my courtier took, uh,
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admired your squiggle-papers?
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Milady, 'twould verily be an honor.
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Pip-pip!
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Hang on, then. Haven't we met?
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Certainly not.
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I beg your pardon, Milady.
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People who ain't ogres
all look the same to me.
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We find the book...
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We leave.
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So, here's a jolly handsome antique chair,
Your Highness,
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which I'll move...
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...so that you may step over here
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and observe my collection of rugs
what are from the Orient.
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Ah! I myself have spent much time
in the Orient slaying dragons. In fact...
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00:08:30,422 --> 00:08:34,050
Hang on, then!
Your servant slayed dragons?
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That seems more like
a prince thing to do, what?
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Ja, of course.
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It was I, Prince Uli,
who did the slayings.
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All Kitty Dum-Dum did was to mop up
the squishy bits afterwards.
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Now, you hold on just a...
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Wretch!
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How dare you talk back to your master!
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Ja, wretch. Huh, he is right.
How dare you?
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I wouldn't take that kind of guff
from a servant, Your Highness.
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Back when I had servants,
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if one of them ever misbehaved,
I'd eat him.
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I'd eat him real good!
147
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Did you say you ate your servants?
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Uh, yes, Your Majesty.
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00:09:16,968 --> 00:09:19,888
I tend to eat anyone who makes me upset.
150
00:09:23,099 --> 00:09:27,145
By Jove, I do think it's time
for dinner, what.
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Me hungry!
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Whoa!
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Me love dinner!
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It is going well, ja?
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Come, Kitty Dum-Dum,
follow me to the table.
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Your service is required.
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Dulcinea, I have never felt
so insulted in my life.
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I am a hero, not an insignificant servant.
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Let's just get that book so we can get out
of here and stop all this lying.
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Between you and me,
I'm not very good at it.
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Right. The book is what matters.
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Not whether I get to be the prince,
which I should be
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because I am the hero,
but that is okay.
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Why would I mind?
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The book.
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Welcome to my dining room.
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It looks a lot like the library.
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I know.
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00:10:18,488 --> 00:10:21,241
Every room in this mansion is identical.
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Very fancy, aye, what? Very fancy.
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Pip-pip. Tally ho.
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00:10:28,581 --> 00:10:29,624
Whoa!
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Me first!
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00:10:48,685 --> 00:10:50,478
Uh, I mean...
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- Ladies first, of course.
- Ugh.
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00:10:56,443 --> 00:10:59,529
Anyway, Herr Tranche,
the dinner looks very delicious.
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00:10:59,612 --> 00:11:03,074
Oh, yes, my dear prince.
We are serving mince meat pie tonight.
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Any luck finding the book?
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00:11:04,576 --> 00:11:06,786
Oh, yes! I found lots of books.
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00:11:06,870 --> 00:11:09,205
- All my old favorites.
- Right.
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00:11:09,289 --> 00:11:12,584
But any luck finding the book about,
you know, the Crown of Souls?
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00:11:12,667 --> 00:11:15,170
The what? Oh, that. No, not at all.
183
00:11:15,253 --> 00:11:18,506
Oh, please hurry.
All this lying is killing me.
184
00:11:22,719 --> 00:11:25,472
Are you quite all right, Milady?
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Ooh. Oh!
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00:11:27,140 --> 00:11:28,224
Oh, yes!
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00:11:28,308 --> 00:11:31,603
Just a little congestion in... in my nose.
188
00:11:33,354 --> 00:11:35,106
So, Herr Tranche,
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00:11:35,190 --> 00:11:38,985
how is it that a charming und handsome
aristocrat such as yourself
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00:11:39,068 --> 00:11:40,278
does not have a wife?
191
00:11:40,987 --> 00:11:42,614
Oh! Uh...
192
00:11:42,697 --> 00:11:46,326
Is that something an aristocrat
is supposed to have?
193
00:11:46,409 --> 00:11:50,497
Uh, well, as it happens, I do have a wife.
194
00:11:50,580 --> 00:11:54,375
Uh, I'll just pop out
and tell her to come say hello.
195
00:11:56,044 --> 00:11:57,170
Ooh-hoo-hoo!
196
00:11:57,253 --> 00:11:59,881
The ruse is going so well, Herr Puss.
197
00:11:59,964 --> 00:12:03,843
The foolish ogre,
he is believing all of our fibbings.
198
00:12:03,927 --> 00:12:06,387
Uli, I warn you, if you do not...
199
00:12:06,471 --> 00:12:07,639
Hello.
200
00:12:07,722 --> 00:12:10,683
I am my wife now.
201
00:12:10,767 --> 00:12:13,937
Uh, it is nice to meet you all
for the first time.
202
00:12:19,192 --> 00:12:21,486
I have to leave now.
203
00:12:23,238 --> 00:12:25,156
That was my wife!
204
00:12:25,281 --> 00:12:27,367
Who said it wasn't? I'll eat you!
205
00:12:29,536 --> 00:12:30,411
Huh?
206
00:12:33,331 --> 00:12:36,334
Well, then, uh... anyone for pudding?
207
00:12:42,507 --> 00:12:43,341
Whoops!
208
00:12:43,591 --> 00:12:46,511
Nearly committed
a bit of a faux pas there.
209
00:12:46,594 --> 00:12:49,138
That would've been shoddy manners, what?
210
00:12:49,722 --> 00:12:51,266
Yes. It would have been.
211
00:12:52,433 --> 00:12:54,519
Uh... Mmm-mmm.
212
00:12:56,896 --> 00:12:57,772
Oh.
213
00:12:57,856 --> 00:12:59,732
Oh-ho-ho.
214
00:12:59,816 --> 00:13:02,610
Oh-ho.
How amusing, Herr Tranche.
215
00:13:02,944 --> 00:13:04,529
Uh, here, Kitty Dum-Dum.
216
00:13:04,612 --> 00:13:06,948
Now you will eat mein dirty napkin.
217
00:13:07,031 --> 00:13:09,284
It is covered in filth, just like you.
218
00:13:10,827 --> 00:13:11,661
Uh...
219
00:13:12,078 --> 00:13:14,205
Sometimes, Kitty Dum-Dum
needs to be insulted
220
00:13:14,289 --> 00:13:17,041
in order to fully understand his tasks.
221
00:13:17,125 --> 00:13:19,085
Eat the napkin, kitty.
222
00:13:20,128 --> 00:13:20,962
Eat it!
223
00:13:25,508 --> 00:13:26,384
Uh...
224
00:13:31,723 --> 00:13:34,601
No one makes Puss in Boots
225
00:13:34,684 --> 00:13:36,269
eat a filthy napkin!
226
00:13:36,352 --> 00:13:37,187
Huh?
227
00:13:37,270 --> 00:13:38,146
Ogre...
228
00:13:38,938 --> 00:13:41,399
we have been perpetuating a ruse.
229
00:13:41,482 --> 00:13:45,904
I'm not a servant and he is not a prince!
230
00:13:48,990 --> 00:13:50,116
What...
231
00:13:50,783 --> 00:13:54,204
did you say?!
232
00:13:58,249 --> 00:13:59,083
Hmm?
233
00:13:59,792 --> 00:14:02,921
Good show. Good show, you two.
234
00:14:03,004 --> 00:14:06,883
You were doing a spot
of light theater, eh?
235
00:14:07,175 --> 00:14:09,886
You really had me believing
that you were a servant
236
00:14:09,969 --> 00:14:11,179
and you were a prince,
237
00:14:11,262 --> 00:14:15,850
when all the while, you were the servant
and you were the prince.
238
00:14:17,143 --> 00:14:19,437
And you knew about this, Princess?
239
00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:22,690
You've been lying this whole time.
240
00:14:23,358 --> 00:14:27,028
Uh... Uh-huh.
But that's what princesses do.
241
00:14:27,612 --> 00:14:30,782
Bravo with the playacting, everyone.
242
00:14:30,865 --> 00:14:36,037
But, now then, let's have you two
stick to your proper roles, yes?
243
00:14:36,329 --> 00:14:39,457
When I find things too confusing...
244
00:14:40,166 --> 00:14:44,462
it makes me wanna eat
whoever's closest to me.
245
00:14:48,091 --> 00:14:50,802
Right. Who's for an evening stroll?
246
00:14:50,927 --> 00:14:51,803
Jolly good.
247
00:14:57,809 --> 00:15:01,271
As you can see,
I have many fine things.
248
00:15:01,354 --> 00:15:03,439
Over there's a chandelier.
249
00:15:03,523 --> 00:15:06,276
And then there's more squiggle-papers.
250
00:15:06,651 --> 00:15:07,944
Herr Puss,
251
00:15:08,027 --> 00:15:10,029
I have come to the conclusion
252
00:15:10,113 --> 00:15:13,533
that you are using your role as prince
to manipulate me.
253
00:15:13,616 --> 00:15:16,536
Just as you did to me
when you were the prince, Uli.
254
00:15:16,619 --> 00:15:20,707
I will show you what happens
when you cross Uli, mein friend.
255
00:15:21,833 --> 00:15:24,752
Then we will see who is Kitty Dum-Dum.
256
00:15:24,961 --> 00:15:27,797
Obviously, it would be me.
I am the kitty!
257
00:15:32,802 --> 00:15:34,637
Dulcinea, you're just in time.
258
00:15:34,721 --> 00:15:39,559
Lady Horseneck has begun to suspect
that her husband is not who he says he is.
259
00:15:39,726 --> 00:15:42,353
Oh, haven't you found
the Crown of Souls book yet?
260
00:15:42,437 --> 00:15:45,565
Honestly, I haven't been looking.
It's just so hard.
261
00:15:45,648 --> 00:15:47,025
All my favorites are here,
262
00:15:47,108 --> 00:15:49,986
and I just wanna binge-read
each and every...
263
00:15:50,570 --> 00:15:51,612
What's the matter with you?
264
00:15:51,696 --> 00:15:54,741
I can feel the lies crawling all over me.
265
00:15:54,824 --> 00:15:57,493
If we don't get out of here soon,
I'm gonna scream.
266
00:15:57,577 --> 00:15:59,329
Well, well, well...
267
00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:05,752
What's going on here?
268
00:16:06,377 --> 00:16:11,924
You know, I'm starting to think that
something here isn't what it seems.
269
00:16:12,508 --> 00:16:14,344
I might have to eat somebody.
270
00:16:14,427 --> 00:16:16,471
Or two somebodies!
271
00:16:17,096 --> 00:16:19,724
Mr. Tranche, I have to tell you
the truth about...
272
00:16:19,807 --> 00:16:21,893
Ha-ha!
273
00:16:21,976 --> 00:16:25,730
It's time for Her Majesty's
daily face massage,
274
00:16:25,813 --> 00:16:28,358
to keep her looking young
and wrinkle-free.
275
00:16:28,441 --> 00:16:29,442
Uh...
276
00:16:29,525 --> 00:16:30,360
What?
277
00:16:30,443 --> 00:16:33,571
It works. Here, judge for yourself.
278
00:16:36,532 --> 00:16:40,745
Book or no book, I'm not getting eaten
by an ogre today, thank you very much.
279
00:16:42,330 --> 00:16:44,665
I say, Butterthwaite,
280
00:16:44,749 --> 00:16:50,171
is it me or are those two
acting suspiciously?
281
00:16:52,048 --> 00:16:53,257
Pip-pip.
282
00:16:56,803 --> 00:16:58,679
- That was cruel.
- You started this.
283
00:16:58,763 --> 00:17:00,515
- I have sensitive teeth.
- It is not my fault.
284
00:17:06,854 --> 00:17:09,941
Are you feeling like some
evening entertainment, Seņor Tranche?
285
00:17:10,024 --> 00:17:12,610
I could instruct my servant, Uli,
to choke himself for us.
286
00:17:12,693 --> 00:17:16,656
Actually, Your Highness,
I am having a better idea.
287
00:17:22,995 --> 00:17:26,541
You see, it is I who is the true prince,
288
00:17:26,624 --> 00:17:31,462
for who but a blue-blooded nobleman
could possibly yodel so well?
289
00:17:31,546 --> 00:17:33,339
Oh, right.
290
00:17:33,631 --> 00:17:35,007
Hadn't thought of it that way.
291
00:17:35,091 --> 00:17:36,884
So, you're the prince, then.
292
00:17:36,968 --> 00:17:40,346
What?
No! I can yodel as well.
293
00:17:45,935 --> 00:17:47,770
Okay, so I cannot yodel.
294
00:17:47,854 --> 00:17:50,189
Of course you cannot, Kitty Dum-Dum.
295
00:17:50,273 --> 00:17:52,024
You are good at nothing.
296
00:17:53,192 --> 00:17:57,530
Except, of course,
your famous bootsy puppets show.
297
00:17:57,613 --> 00:18:01,075
I do not use my boots for anything
except looking incredibly dapper.
298
00:18:01,159 --> 00:18:02,785
I am the one who is the true prince,
299
00:18:02,869 --> 00:18:04,454
not this traitorous swine.
300
00:18:04,537 --> 00:18:07,540
I shall prove it with the classic test
of nobility.
301
00:18:07,623 --> 00:18:09,459
Standing on one's head.
302
00:18:12,795 --> 00:18:13,713
Oh, right.
303
00:18:13,796 --> 00:18:16,007
Well, that's convincing enough for me.
304
00:18:16,090 --> 00:18:17,884
Ha. Try to out-noble that.
305
00:18:17,967 --> 00:18:19,302
I shall.
306
00:18:19,385 --> 00:18:22,513
Mit some practiced Baroque waltzing.
307
00:18:22,763 --> 00:18:25,892
Und eins, zwei, drei,
eins, zwei, drei.
308
00:18:25,975 --> 00:18:29,770
Who but a true sovereign could waltz
und count at the same time?
309
00:18:29,854 --> 00:18:32,732
- Eins, zwei, drei...
- You make a good point, but...
310
00:18:32,815 --> 00:18:35,109
If it is a true test of nobility you want,
311
00:18:35,193 --> 00:18:37,820
then observe as I hold my breath
312
00:18:37,904 --> 00:18:39,447
- for 30 seconds!
- Eins, zwei, drei.
313
00:18:41,282 --> 00:18:44,285
- Uh...
- Eins, zwei, drei.
314
00:18:51,250 --> 00:18:52,668
- Eins, zwei, drei.
315
00:18:52,752 --> 00:18:54,504
Enough!
316
00:18:54,795 --> 00:18:59,342
I daresay,
I don't think either of you is a prince!
317
00:19:02,553 --> 00:19:05,515
No, no, no, no, no.
One of us is definitely a prince.
318
00:19:05,598 --> 00:19:07,934
Ja. Whichever one you prefer.
319
00:19:08,017 --> 00:19:10,978
I'm very confused now. Very confused!
320
00:19:11,062 --> 00:19:14,982
And when I get confused...
321
00:19:15,066 --> 00:19:18,069
I eat someone!
322
00:19:23,866 --> 00:19:27,119
Herr Boots, you have done
the savings of me.
323
00:19:27,203 --> 00:19:30,665
Of course. A vindictive friend
is still a friend.
324
00:19:30,748 --> 00:19:34,961
So, it's a fight you want,
eh, Kitty Dum-Dum?
325
00:19:59,402 --> 00:20:01,237
The jig is up, friends!
326
00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:04,740
Our lie... is exposed!
327
00:20:06,617 --> 00:20:08,244
Oh, thank goodness!
328
00:20:10,496 --> 00:20:12,081
I will hold him off.
329
00:20:12,164 --> 00:20:15,334
You, find the book at once.
330
00:20:27,179 --> 00:20:30,600
You are a most fearsome
adversary, Tranche.
331
00:20:30,683 --> 00:20:33,728
I hope you'll be the last ogre
I ever meet.
332
00:20:40,735 --> 00:20:42,528
I have done the findings of it.
333
00:20:42,612 --> 00:20:44,363
Is this the one?
334
00:20:44,447 --> 00:20:45,573
It sure is.
335
00:20:46,782 --> 00:20:48,576
"Yea, that which is yclept..."
336
00:20:48,659 --> 00:20:50,453
- Huh?
- "...ye Crown of Souls
337
00:20:50,536 --> 00:20:54,290
verily be linked through bonds
most eldritch to ye totem
338
00:20:54,373 --> 00:20:56,542
- most mighty, known only to those..."
- How...
339
00:20:56,626 --> 00:20:58,002
How are you doing that?
340
00:20:58,586 --> 00:21:02,715
You're looking at those squiggles
and saying things from your mouth.
341
00:21:03,299 --> 00:21:04,800
It's called reading.
342
00:21:04,967 --> 00:21:06,761
Do you not know what reading is?
343
00:21:07,386 --> 00:21:08,596
I've heard of it.
344
00:21:08,679 --> 00:21:12,350
Look, these books
are full of stories, knowledge,
345
00:21:12,433 --> 00:21:15,102
tawdry romances and even etiquette.
346
00:21:15,686 --> 00:21:16,562
Etiquette?
347
00:21:16,812 --> 00:21:22,193
Can these "books" teach me
how to be a fancy aristocrat?
348
00:21:22,276 --> 00:21:23,611
I think this one could.
349
00:21:23,778 --> 00:21:27,239
How to Be a Fancy Aristocrat,
by A. F. Aristocrat.
350
00:21:29,492 --> 00:21:34,413
Could you teach me
how to make words out of squiggles?
351
00:21:34,997 --> 00:21:35,873
How to read?
352
00:21:35,956 --> 00:21:37,208
Yeah, that.
353
00:21:37,875 --> 00:21:41,003
I could, if you don't eat my friends,
354
00:21:41,170 --> 00:21:43,172
and you let them take one book with them.
355
00:21:43,255 --> 00:21:44,632
Agreed!
356
00:21:44,882 --> 00:21:47,176
Agreed, by Jove!
357
00:21:47,343 --> 00:21:48,761
Yay!
358
00:21:48,886 --> 00:21:50,763
Let's read this one!
359
00:21:53,057 --> 00:21:56,018
First rule of reading:
don't tear up the book.
360
00:21:56,102 --> 00:21:59,230
Oh. Don't tear up the book.
361
00:21:59,689 --> 00:22:04,151
I say, this "reading"
is rather tricky business, what.
362
00:22:04,568 --> 00:22:09,323
Oh! I positively cannot wait
to spend time with all my old books.
363
00:22:09,490 --> 00:22:11,242
All but one.
364
00:22:14,203 --> 00:22:17,998
Farewell.
Safe travels and whatnot.
365
00:22:18,082 --> 00:22:21,377
Bye, Miguela.
Promise me you'll write me every day.
366
00:22:21,460 --> 00:22:23,087
Not a chance!
367
00:22:23,796 --> 00:22:26,048
What nice people.
368
00:22:26,215 --> 00:22:29,635
Yeah, shame you didn't get
to spend more time with them.
369
00:22:29,802 --> 00:22:31,712
- Pip-pip!
- Pip-pip!
370
00:22:40,146 --> 00:22:45,297
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