sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~
[cat purrs, meows]
[fast, lively flamenco music playing]
[screams]
[giggles]
[Puss yowling] El Gato!
[yowls]
4x09 - Boar Games
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[bagpipes playing]
[Pajuna] When the poor besieged residents of Kinlochbervie
needed to get rid of their horrible bog monster,
who do you think they called?
Me an' my partner, that's who.
[growling]
[sword clangs]
[monster groaning]
And we showed that bog monster.
We showed it what for.
[all laughing]
[Pajuna grunts] Ah, Pajuna, you're a fantastic teller of the tall tales.
A cow, defeating a bog monster?
You know, that's impossible to imagine.
Nope, I literally cannot do it.
[all laughing]
Well, I'd better go. I wouldn't want vintage Pajuna
to gouge me with her horns or anything.
Toro, toro.
[all laughing]
I must go too, for the hour is late,
and I must search far and wide to find the Obelisk of Night.
The what?
Seriously? The Obelisk of Night?
The key to defeating the Bloodwolf, how have you not heard of this?
I have problems at home.
Off I go
on a real adventure doing real things that really, very really, happen.
What I'm doing here is implying that your stories are false. Goodbye.
Hmm. Think what you want, lad.
Boy, it must be hard for a former...
[sniggers]
...adventurer like yourself
to be spending your life as nothing more than a town milk vendor.
Everyone knows that I'm capable of a lot more than just vending milk.
I'm glad my past is behind me.
Wouldn't want it showing up again.
[people gasping]
[whimpering]
[people scream]
Okay, here's the deal, barkeep.
There are two tusks stuck in my face, none stuck in yours.
Hand over a drink, and we might just keep it that way.
[Pajuna sighs]
Hello, Roz.
Still doing the tusks-in-the-face bit, are ya?
[laughs wickedly]
After all these years, the ol' gal recognizes me.
- [laughs] She recognized me. - Eames, this is my old partner, Roz.
[Eames whimpering]
Juna, ya' ol' bag of porridge.
How the heck are ya, huh?
What do you want, Roz?
- Oh, you know, I just came for... - And don't say a drink.
Ye dinnae come all the way to San Lorenzo for a drink.
[sipping]
Hmm, grassy.
The reason I came to see you is...
I need your help.
With a job.
Absolutely not.
Come on, it's a huge pay out.
Besides, the target is a real fierce warrior,
and I can't do it alone.
I'm out of the hire-muscle game.
You got something better going on in this dumpy old town?
I'll have you know that I'm a crucial member
of this upstanding community.
I have loads of terribly important responsibilities.
[Esme] I want milk!
[sighs]
[panting, chuckles]
Look, I'm happy here.
The answer is no.
Well, hoped it wouldn't come to this, Juna,
but need I remind you about...
Urquhart Castle?
[shattering] [gasps]
I'm calling in my favor.
You owe me, partner.
[sighs]
Fine.
One last job.
Then I'm done.
[laughs] The gang's back together.
Pajuna and the pig.
The porcine and the bovine.
- The hooves for hire. - [inhales deeply] Already regret this.
[Roz] # Me and ol' Pajuna #
♪ It's just like old times ♪
♪ Doing lots of things and stuff ♪
♪ And something else that rhymes ♪
So, who are we after?
Some guy with a funny name.
Hang on, I've got it here.
"Puss in Boots."
[gasps]
Apparently, he's kinda famous.
I... eh... never heard of him.
You think we should go back to town and ask?
- Maybe somebody there... - Oh, no.
Nobody in that dumpy old town knows anything about that specific topic.
Uh, let's walk in the opposite direction.
All I know is, wherever this Boots guy is,
he's gonna be sorry he ever met me.
[laughs insidiously]
And I'd better make sure he doesn't.
[sniffs]
[snorts]
He's close.
[thief 1] Mugs. Get your mugs here. Two for one.
Buy two, get one free. Mugs. Get your...
[Pajuna] I really don't think we should bother these thieves.
Why, they've probably never even heard of this "Puss in Boots" guy.
"Puss in Boots" guy? Of course I... [screams]
[groaning]
This place is some meat market.
Hey, good looking.
Ooh, love the mask.
Heck of a threatening glare you got there, tough guy.
We do not usually get positive reinforcement from strangers.
I'm having a hard time knowing how to deal with these feelings.
Don't get too chummy with these thieves, Roz.
They're nothing but a bunch of vile, depraved...
[Roz] So I says to the guy, "Maim him?
I don't even know him."
[all laughing]
And then I did maim him, that's the punch line.
[all laughing]
[Julio] What a violent story. Good one.
Hey, Pajuna,
come meet Julio, Agosto, and Pablo.
Uh! It's Raul, but that's okay.
Whoa. So, this is Pajuna.
We heard about how you betrayed Roz at Urquhart Castle. How terrible.
What... How did you possibly have time to tell them about that already?
How could you betray Roz? She's our favorite.
Yeah, she's a real hoot. Anyway, I'm afraid we've got to be going.
[Puss] Have any of you seen any obelisk-looking things lately?
Okay. Well, clearly he's not here, let's be on our way.
But we haven't scoured the whole market yet.
This Puss in Boots could be nearby.
Puss in Boots? Why, he's right over... [screams]
Would you look at that? People fainting left and right.
Must be something in the air.
Come on, let's go.
[Pablo groaning]
Salutations, Pablo, have you seen any obelisks lately?
It's Raul.
[Eames knocking at door] Pajuna! Pajuna!
[softly] Pajuna.
[cries]
Eames, are you all right?
No. Pajuna's gone. Gone!
Which means I'm going to starve to death.
I have literally no idea where food comes from,
other than the canteena.
I'm sure she'll be back soon.
I haven't eaten in almost two hours.
[shouting] I want milk!
Just have some pickle brine instead.
Drink this stuff, and pretty soon you'll look as good as I do.
[retching]
[crying]
Usually by this hour,
Pajuna's already yelled at me three or four times.
[sighs] I feel really unstimulated without any conflict in my life.
Come on, guys, we don't need Pajuna.
Look, I made a drawing of her. It's exactly as good as the real thing.
So, Chalk Pajuna, what do you think of my new vest?
[sobbing] It hurts. Pajuna,
[shouts] where are you?
Roz and Pajuna, back on the hunt.
The ol' R and P.
The cow and the sow.
Rozzy and Juna.
How many nicknames do you have for us?
It's like we haven't missed a beat.
I was worried you might've gone soft, sister.
But you've still got that fighting instinct.
[scoffs] Nonsense.
[snorts] Okay.
Whatever you [shouts] say!
[grunting]
[groans] Ha!
Knew it. You miss being out here, mixing it up, breaking bones.
That was a fluke.
Oh, it was?
'Kay, I believe you.
[screams]
[Roz grunting]
Fighting instinct. [coughs]
So impressive.
Still the best body slam I've ever seen.
Really? Well,
suppose it is nice to get a bit of recognition
for your talents every now and then.
Hey,
let's see if we can shake down these goblins for some info.
Here's the deal, goblin.
There are two tusks stuck in my face...
Excuse me. Can I help you?
Hi, there. We're looking for Puss in Boots. He's not here, is he?
[whispers] Even if he is here, just say no.
Uh, no?
Rats.
Oh, darn. He's forever eluding us.
[whispers] Thank you.
Uh, I have to go over there now. Excuse me.
There ya go, not here. Not nowhere. Let's call it quits.
No way. Puss in Boots is nearby. I can feel it.
That's ridiculous. I'm sure he... [exclaims]
Uh... isn't anywhere near here. [chuckles nervously]
Hey, you know what I just remembered?
Our secret handshake.
Oh, yeah.
[Pajuna grunts] [exclaims]
Obelisk.
Oh, Obelisk.
That's not the handshake I remember.
You know, I think I'm getting my appetite for adventure back.
I knew it.
Now the old team really is back together.
The demolition...
What say we get back on the road? Right now. This very instant.
Woo-hoo!
[fast, lively flamenco music playing]
[melancholic instrumental music playing]
[Roz, Pajuna munching]
[Roz belches]
I'm glad to see you haven't lost your touch
when it comes to road gruel, Juna.
Is there anything you're not good at?
[scoffs] You know,
that's the kinda question a cow could stand to hear about more often.
I tell ya, despite everything,
- this has actually been fun. - That's what I've been saying.
Hey, why don't we get the team back together, huh?
Roz, I can't. San Lorenzo needs me.
Ah, come off it, Juna.
You think the people there actually care about you?
You're nothing but a walking milk jug to them.
They've probably found themselves another moo-cow already.
The road is where you belong.
Crackin' skulls and takin' names.
Believe me, sister, once a hired thug, always a hired thug.
Kick. Punch. Maim.
[crow cawing]
Kick. Punch. Maim.
[Pajuna snoring]
Hey, Julio. [gasps]
Uh, hello, Roz.
I was just out for an early-morning steal...
Stroll. Early-morning stroll. [chuckles nervously]
I definitely was not here to rob you. [laughs nervously]
So, how are things?
Oh, you know, just getting my sweat on.
As soon as sleeping beauty here wakes up,
we're gonna get back on the hunt for Puss in Boots.
Puss in Boots?
Have you not checked in San Lorenzo?
After all, that is where he lives.
[exclaims in shock] Son of a...
[Pajuna snoring]
Oh. It's like Urquhart Castle all over again.
[sword clangs] Puss in Boots.
Come out and face me.
Excuse me?
Do you make milk? I want milk.
Scram, kid. No milk today.
I want Pajuna! [shattering]
Hey, mustache,
where's Puss in Boots?
I haven't seen him today, but have you seen a cow anywhere?
Her name's Pajuna.
My wife is upset, [screaming]
and I don't know what to do.
Do I talk to her? [groans] [woman grunting]
Do I leave her alone? [groans]
[gasps, groaning] Fake my own death?
I'm lost without Pajuna's advice.
Uh... [groaning]
I'm so weak. Pajuna.
Pajuna.
I'm too young and beautiful to die.
[sobbing, groans]
Hey, Girl Cat. [snapping fingers]
Where's Puss?
Couldn't say. But do you know where my friend, Pajuna, is?
She's the cow who runs our canteena.
Everyone's going a little crazy without her.
[laughing hysterically] Good one, Chalk Pajuna.
Huh. Maybe they really do need her.
[snoring]
[clinking]
- Oh! Thief! - Yes?
Oh! You were saying "thief" more generally as in,
"That person is stealing from me." You know, which I am.
Uh, bye.
[growls furiously, groans]
[grunting]
Ha! [Pajuna grunting]
[clangs] [groans]
[groaning]
Where's Roz? What have you done with him?
Me? Nothing.
She went to San Lorenzo, to kill Puss in Boots.
[Pajuna gasps]
Where's that cow? I need my pickles.
Milk! Milk! Milk! Milk! Milk!
Have you seen Pajuna? There's no one to yell at me.
The boar.
She took Pajuna from us. [all gasp]
- I didn't take Pajuna. I... - It's her fault we're starving.
Her fault we have no one to give us advice.
Her fault we have no one who can perform surgery. Her fault we...
[screams in pain]
- My beautiful finger. - What is the meaning of this?
[Eames groaning in pain]
Puss in Boots?
Who wants to know? Friend? [groaning]
Or foe?
I'll let you know in a moment.
First, however...
[screams] [Puss grunts]
[clamoring]
En garde!
[both grunting]
[clattering]
[screams] [swords clanging]
My question stands.
[snarls]
Friend or foe?
Seriously?
[both screaming]
Hold on, Puss.
[Roz grunts]
I'm comin'.
[screams in pain]
[grunting]
As fast as I can.
[both grunt]
[panting]
[Puss yowls] [groans]
[panting, grunting]
Puss. Roz.
Where are they?
[panting]
Roz, don't do it!
[Roz screaming]
[both laughing]
And then you maimed him,
without even knowing him. [snorts]
Roz, you are a hoot.
I know, right?
[Roz laughing] What in the...
Oh, hello, Pajuna.
Why have you never before introduced me to your friend, Roz? [laughing]
She's outrageous.
Roz. What's going on here?
[laughs] Funny story.
I came back here to find puss and finish him off.
Yeah-ha!
Oh, you.
[laughs] You are crazy. [Roz laughs]
But when I got here, it was just one person after another
asking where you were.
And I realized you really are a part of this town.
I'm sorry I tried to change you, sister.
Do you forgive me?
Of course.
As long as you forgive me for what happened at Urquhart Castle.
Ah, why not?
I guess I can let you off the hook.
By the way, what did happen at Urquhart Castle?
Uh, eh...
[chuckles nervously] I can't remember.
Oh. Me neither.
Shoot, I'm just really bad at grudges.
[door opens] [Dulcinea] Pajuna's back.
[all cheering]
Oh, Pajuna, everyone's missed you so much.
We're so glad you're back.
Hm. And not just because you want milk?
- Oh, no. For all kinds of reasons. - [Eames] I'm so hungry...
Mostly because we're getting really tired of Eames whining about how hungry he is.
[whimpering, gasps]
[bawling] Thank heavens.
Never leave us again.
[Eames bawling]
Don't worry, this won't change anything between us.
Food!
I apologize for not believing your tales, Pajuna.
If you are half the fighter Roz says you are,
then I am glad I never had to face "Vintage Pajuna."
From now on, I will always pay my bar tab.
Mostly. Sometimes. A little.
So, wait, after all this, you didn't even fight Puss?
Oh, we fought all right.
[orchestral music playing]
[panting]
[gulps, groans]
So, break for lunch?
Break for lunch.
And now, Roz has decided to stop trying to kill me,
because she admires... [Roz belches]
...and respects me so much.
Oh, let's get one thing clear.
I'm still very much trying to kill you.
[grunts] [swords clang]
[laughing]
Ah, you're just too darn hard to kill.
Never give up, my friend. [swords clang]
All right, kiddo.
It's time I hit the dusty road.
[screams] [grunts]
So impressive.
[Pajuna] And the fearsome boar struck out
in search of her next adventure,
for in San Lorenzo, she had truly met her match.
The valiant Puss in Boots.
[Puss chuckles] I like this story. It has me in it.
[bagpipes playing]
sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~