1
00:00:01,601 --> 00:00:03,115
We leave first thing in the morning,
2
00:00:03,140 --> 00:00:04,743
be at Ed's cabin by noon,
3
00:00:04,812 --> 00:00:07,145
and immediately start
chopping wood for the fire.
4
00:00:07,214 --> 00:00:08,680
I'm bringing my axe.
5
00:00:08,749 --> 00:00:11,717
Good. Now I won't have to find a
sharp rock to kill myself with.
6
00:00:11,952 --> 00:00:13,318
Don't be negative, Oliver.
7
00:00:13,387 --> 00:00:15,487
Us living off the land, no electricity.
8
00:00:15,556 --> 00:00:17,189
It'll be fun, Dad.
9
00:00:17,258 --> 00:00:19,024
It'll just be like
when you broke gender barriers
10
00:00:19,093 --> 00:00:20,292
to be the first male Den Mother.
11
00:00:20,361 --> 00:00:21,994
Remember how I turned
my skirt into capris?
12
00:00:22,062 --> 00:00:24,963
It was pretty awesome.
I was a real trailblazer.
13
00:00:25,032 --> 00:00:26,632
They called me a modern-day FDR.
14
00:00:26,700 --> 00:00:29,869
You mean you called yourself
that, and no one stopped you.
15
00:00:29,970 --> 00:00:31,203
Fair enough.
16
00:00:31,272 --> 00:00:32,938
Don't most people
go camping in the summer?
17
00:00:33,007 --> 00:00:34,840
Yeah, but Ed makes you pay
for the cabin in the summer.
18
00:00:34,909 --> 00:00:36,208
But this is gonna be great.
19
00:00:36,277 --> 00:00:37,876
Anna-Kat's finally
old enough to camp with us,
20
00:00:37,945 --> 00:00:39,244
and you might just like it.
21
00:00:39,313 --> 00:00:41,680
It's not too late to follow
in the Otto family tradition.
22
00:00:41,749 --> 00:00:43,315
Some families are soldiers, some cops.
23
00:00:43,384 --> 00:00:44,349
We're scouts.
24
00:00:44,418 --> 00:00:45,817
Eagle Scouts.
25
00:00:45,886 --> 00:00:47,953
Well, I've been dying
to wear a red kerchief
26
00:00:48,022 --> 00:00:49,621
around my neck and have no friends.
27
00:00:49,690 --> 00:00:52,424
Son, men have died for
the right to wear that kerchief.
28
00:00:52,493 --> 00:00:53,759
No, they haven't.
29
00:00:53,827 --> 00:00:56,128
I don't have time
for off-season family bonding.
30
00:00:56,197 --> 00:00:57,696
I have a business to run.
31
00:00:57,765 --> 00:01:01,166
Your mom and I don't like
you selling knockoff polo shirts
32
00:01:01,235 --> 00:01:02,000
to kids in Norwalk.
33
00:01:02,069 --> 00:01:03,335
They're not knockoffs.
34
00:01:03,404 --> 00:01:04,703
They're shirts with defective logos
35
00:01:04,772 --> 00:01:06,271
that I improve and re-sell.
36
00:01:06,340 --> 00:01:08,240
Isn't that the exact
definition of knockoff?
37
00:01:08,309 --> 00:01:09,608
I'm providing a service.
38
00:01:09,677 --> 00:01:11,276
Those Norwalk kids
are just happy they can get
39
00:01:11,345 --> 00:01:12,978
an expensive shirt for 40 bucks
40
00:01:13,047 --> 00:01:15,013
so they can have a fancy
night out at Dairy Queen.
41
00:01:17,918 --> 00:01:19,318
I brought you pillows.
42
00:01:19,386 --> 00:01:21,987
We don't need no stinkin' pillows!
43
00:01:22,056 --> 00:01:23,355
We'll make our own.
44
00:01:23,424 --> 00:01:24,590
Pine needles in a sweatshirt.
45
00:01:24,658 --> 00:01:26,325
That sounds so fun.
46
00:01:26,393 --> 00:01:27,759
Ugh! I wish I could go.
47
00:01:27,828 --> 00:01:29,394
But Angela needs me.
48
00:01:29,463 --> 00:01:31,563
It's the one-year anniversary of
her breakup with Celeste.
49
00:01:31,632 --> 00:01:32,731
I totally get it.
50
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:33,966
You need to be there for your friend.
51
00:01:34,034 --> 00:01:37,002
But I hate the thought of you guys
being on an adventure without me.
52
00:01:37,071 --> 00:01:39,671
Hey. Can I bring my new fish?
53
00:01:39,740 --> 00:01:42,841
Uh, I don't think camping
will be good for it.
54
00:01:42,910 --> 00:01:46,378
Yeah, it will die in two days instead of
its normal life span of four days.
55
00:01:46,447 --> 00:01:48,180
- Oliver.
- I'm not the one who bought
56
00:01:48,249 --> 00:01:51,049
a death-obsessed 7-year-old
a pet with a high mortality rate.
57
00:01:52,419 --> 00:01:54,720
He's got a good point.
58
00:01:54,788 --> 00:01:56,255
You know, I'm going
to go to Second Breakfast
59
00:01:56,323 --> 00:01:57,389
and try to get out of it.
60
00:01:57,458 --> 00:01:59,737
I really want to come with you guys.
61
00:01:59,827 --> 00:02:01,793
He actually thinks that I want to go.
62
00:02:01,962 --> 00:02:03,595
Am I that good, or is he that dumb?
63
00:02:06,100 --> 00:02:08,967
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
64
00:02:11,071 --> 00:02:13,171
Should I feel bad that I don't feel bad
65
00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:15,173
about blowing off
the family camping trip?
66
00:02:15,242 --> 00:02:17,209
No. You'd hate it,
complain the whole time,
67
00:02:17,278 --> 00:02:18,343
and ruin it for Greg.
68
00:02:18,412 --> 00:02:20,279
Besides, your whole life is camping.
69
00:02:20,347 --> 00:02:21,647
You have suffered enough.
70
00:02:21,715 --> 00:02:23,115
Your stove only has four burners,
71
00:02:23,183 --> 00:02:25,117
there's weird pockets of sand
everywhere in your house,
72
00:02:25,185 --> 00:02:27,152
and no one can drop one
in your downstairs bathroom.
73
00:02:27,221 --> 00:02:28,887
Get that fixed. It's awkward.
74
00:02:28,956 --> 00:02:30,856
When I go upstairs,
everyone knows what I'm doing.
75
00:02:30,924 --> 00:02:32,457
I love you guys.
76
00:02:32,526 --> 00:02:35,227
You always make me feel so right
about doing the wrong thing.
77
00:02:35,296 --> 00:02:36,428
You shouldn't be expected
78
00:02:36,497 --> 00:02:37,663
to share all of
your husband's interests.
79
00:02:37,731 --> 00:02:39,798
I know. I got pregnant with Anna-Kat
80
00:02:39,867 --> 00:02:41,533
specifically to avoid
Greg's camping trips.
81
00:02:41,602 --> 00:02:43,001
It bought me six years.
82
00:02:43,070 --> 00:02:45,470
But this year, Angela's
divorce got you out of it,
83
00:02:45,539 --> 00:02:50,442
and I booked us a three-bedroom
suite at the Velvet Zen Spa.
84
00:02:51,712 --> 00:02:53,278
Thank you so much
for cheating on your wife
85
00:02:53,347 --> 00:02:54,313
and ruining your marriage.
86
00:02:54,381 --> 00:02:55,580
It was a pleasure.
87
00:02:55,649 --> 00:02:57,049
It really was.
88
00:02:57,117 --> 00:02:58,617
I wish I could go
up with you guys tonight,
89
00:02:58,686 --> 00:02:59,985
but the least I can do is help them
90
00:03:00,054 --> 00:03:01,253
get out the door tomorrow morning.
91
00:03:01,322 --> 00:03:03,522
Where are we going?
92
00:03:03,590 --> 00:03:06,024
- Ooh.
- That chair's for our purses.
93
00:03:06,093 --> 00:03:07,125
You're so funny.
94
00:03:07,194 --> 00:03:09,828
Hey, guess what happened
to me yesterday.
95
00:03:09,897 --> 00:03:13,065
I was getting my lashes put on,
and Alan bursts in the room
96
00:03:13,133 --> 00:03:16,668
with a bouquet of peonies for no reason
97
00:03:16,737 --> 00:03:18,203
other than that he loves me.
98
00:03:19,206 --> 00:03:20,472
Hashtag "Lucky."
99
00:03:20,541 --> 00:03:22,574
Hashtag "How long are you staying?"
100
00:03:22,643 --> 00:03:25,310
Well, now that I've spent Thanksgiving
101
00:03:25,379 --> 00:03:27,279
and Christmas at Katie's,
102
00:03:27,348 --> 00:03:29,948
I thought maybe I could join your little
Second Breakfast Club.
103
00:03:30,017 --> 00:03:31,116
Wow.
104
00:03:31,185 --> 00:03:34,453
Well, you don't
eat first breakfast, so...
105
00:03:34,521 --> 00:03:35,620
You see how that wouldn't work?
106
00:03:35,689 --> 00:03:36,688
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
107
00:03:36,757 --> 00:03:38,023
Hazing.
108
00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:41,560
You guys are all hazing me
before you let me in.
109
00:03:41,628 --> 00:03:43,995
- I love it.
- She loves it.
110
00:03:44,064 --> 00:03:45,364
Ooh, that's a lot of carbs.
111
00:03:45,432 --> 00:03:46,531
Bye!
112
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:48,033
Oh, my God, she is unbelievable.
113
00:03:48,102 --> 00:03:51,203
I know. I can't stand how fake she is.
114
00:03:51,271 --> 00:03:52,504
Right.
115
00:03:52,573 --> 00:03:54,973
Now you go home
and mislead the ones you love.
116
00:03:55,042 --> 00:03:57,142
You would think
that would make me feel guilty,
117
00:03:57,211 --> 00:03:58,944
but I flipped off that switch years ago.
118
00:04:00,547 --> 00:04:02,147
Let's get you guys on the road.
119
00:04:04,218 --> 00:04:08,387
- You owe me money.
- Luz, I'm not exactly liquid right now.
120
00:04:08,455 --> 00:04:10,756
I took our profits
and re-invested in more shirts.
121
00:04:10,824 --> 00:04:12,057
You didn't ask me.
122
00:04:12,126 --> 00:04:14,025
Luz, as soon as I get
back into town, I promise...
123
00:04:14,094 --> 00:04:15,293
You're skipping town on me?
124
00:04:15,362 --> 00:04:16,628
No, I'm going camping.
125
00:04:16,697 --> 00:04:18,363
- You're going camping?
- I am.
126
00:04:18,432 --> 00:04:19,898
Mom, tell her I'm going camping.
127
00:04:19,967 --> 00:04:22,334
No, this isn't too much wine.
128
00:04:22,403 --> 00:04:23,535
We're not going camping.
129
00:04:23,604 --> 00:04:25,036
- Knew it.
- What?
130
00:04:25,105 --> 00:04:27,172
Luz, do you think we should get a cat?
131
00:04:27,241 --> 00:04:28,673
I'm kind of wanting one again.
132
00:04:28,742 --> 00:04:30,242
Coming, Miss Viv!
133
00:04:30,310 --> 00:04:32,077
I want my money.
134
00:04:33,113 --> 00:04:34,312
Luz!
135
00:04:34,381 --> 00:04:35,814
Why would you say that?
136
00:04:35,883 --> 00:04:39,518
Because we're not going camping.
137
00:04:39,586 --> 00:04:41,319
It snowed all night,
and I checked online,
138
00:04:41,388 --> 00:04:43,455
all the roads are closed.
139
00:04:43,524 --> 00:04:46,324
No!
140
00:04:46,393 --> 00:04:48,427
It was supposed to be a dusting.
141
00:04:48,495 --> 00:04:49,995
They said it was a dusting.
142
00:04:50,063 --> 00:04:51,496
I was really looking forward to this.
143
00:04:51,565 --> 00:04:53,498
And this is the only weekend
that we could get Ed's cabin.
144
00:04:53,567 --> 00:04:54,933
We were gonna ice fish for hours
145
00:04:55,002 --> 00:04:56,067
and catch nothing...
146
00:04:56,136 --> 00:04:57,235
but memories.
147
00:04:57,304 --> 00:04:58,937
- Damn.
- I know.
148
00:05:00,207 --> 00:05:02,073
- The power's out.
- You got to be kidding me!
149
00:05:02,142 --> 00:05:03,942
Wait.
150
00:05:04,011 --> 00:05:05,076
This is great.
151
00:05:05,145 --> 00:05:06,311
It is?
152
00:05:06,380 --> 00:05:07,612
You know what? One of us has been using
153
00:05:07,681 --> 00:05:09,314
the word "great" wrong our whole life.
154
00:05:09,383 --> 00:05:10,882
No, don't you see?
We can do our camping trip
155
00:05:10,951 --> 00:05:12,217
right here in our living room.
156
00:05:12,286 --> 00:05:14,085
It's just like Ed's cabin,
but instead of having
157
00:05:14,154 --> 00:05:15,787
a dead moose head on the wall,
we got Mom!
158
00:05:15,856 --> 00:05:17,355
It's all coming together.
159
00:05:17,424 --> 00:05:18,957
Everybody wins.
160
00:05:19,026 --> 00:05:20,292
Kill me.
161
00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:22,227
Okay, let's move the couches
so I can create a base camp.
162
00:05:28,302 --> 00:05:31,269
It was supposed to be a dusting.
163
00:05:34,062 --> 00:05:35,620
We've got three feet of snow.
164
00:05:35,705 --> 00:05:37,416
I'm stuck here, and Greg is forcing me
165
00:05:37,441 --> 00:05:39,307
to make memories I don't want to make.
166
00:05:39,409 --> 00:05:41,832
Well, if it helps you feel better,
we're snowed in here, too.
167
00:05:41,901 --> 00:05:44,468
You're snowed in getting massages.
168
00:05:44,537 --> 00:05:46,404
Oh, yeah.
169
00:05:46,472 --> 00:05:48,372
Right there.
170
00:05:48,441 --> 00:05:49,473
Is that champagne?
171
00:05:49,542 --> 00:05:51,742
This is the meanest FaceTime ever.
172
00:05:52,912 --> 00:05:54,245
Hey, Katie, come on.
173
00:05:54,314 --> 00:05:56,714
I'm teaching the kids how to
make lanterns out of water jugs.
174
00:05:56,783 --> 00:05:58,783
Coming, honey.
175
00:05:58,851 --> 00:06:01,352
So excited.
176
00:06:01,421 --> 00:06:02,987
If I'm dead tomorrow, Greg did it.
177
00:06:03,056 --> 00:06:04,349
But I drove him to it.
178
00:06:04,374 --> 00:06:06,424
You don't know when our house is
going to get its power back?
179
00:06:06,492 --> 00:06:09,260
That's not an acceptable answer.
180
00:06:09,329 --> 00:06:11,629
No, I don't want to
talk to your supervisor.
181
00:06:11,698 --> 00:06:14,799
I want to talk to the guy below
you who's about to get your job.
182
00:06:17,103 --> 00:06:18,235
My fish is cold.
183
00:06:18,304 --> 00:06:19,287
Don't worry, sweetie.
184
00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:21,539
I'm starting a fire utilizing
nothing but steel wool,
185
00:06:21,607 --> 00:06:24,943
a nine-volt battery, and a small
pile of cheese puffs.
186
00:06:25,059 --> 00:06:26,959
Why don't you just use
one of those long matches?
187
00:06:27,013 --> 00:06:28,946
'Cause you married an Eagle Scout, baby.
188
00:06:29,015 --> 00:06:30,248
Come be amazed.
189
00:06:30,316 --> 00:06:32,216
That's fantastic.
190
00:06:32,285 --> 00:06:34,118
Hope the power never comes back on.
191
00:06:35,822 --> 00:06:38,155
Why are Viv's lights on?
192
00:06:38,224 --> 00:06:39,991
She clearly has a generator.
193
00:06:40,059 --> 00:06:42,360
The lesson here is marry money, people.
194
00:06:42,428 --> 00:06:44,028
That is not the lesson, people.
195
00:06:44,097 --> 00:06:45,730
We actually have it
better than she does.
196
00:06:45,798 --> 00:06:47,298
She's not learning how to start a fire
197
00:06:47,367 --> 00:06:49,433
or build a shelter or make
her urine more drinkable.
198
00:06:49,502 --> 00:06:51,102
Now, who wants to tie some knots?
199
00:06:51,170 --> 00:06:53,004
Did he just say we're
drinking our own urine?
200
00:06:53,072 --> 00:06:55,006
My fish is starting to shiver.
201
00:06:55,074 --> 00:06:57,475
I have an idea.
202
00:06:57,543 --> 00:07:00,611
I'll take the fish
over to Viv's immediately.
203
00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:02,813
This is great.
204
00:07:02,882 --> 00:07:05,483
I get to be a hero
and blow off my family.
205
00:07:10,123 --> 00:07:12,290
Katie, what brings you here?
206
00:07:12,358 --> 00:07:16,127
The power's out, and I just
wanted to make sure you're okay.
207
00:07:16,195 --> 00:07:18,129
I didn't even realize.
208
00:07:18,197 --> 00:07:19,864
You brought a gift.
209
00:07:19,933 --> 00:07:21,866
No, this is actually my daughter's fish.
210
00:07:21,935 --> 00:07:23,634
I don't want it to freeze.
211
00:07:23,703 --> 00:07:25,703
Oh, come in.
212
00:07:25,772 --> 00:07:27,038
Shoes.
213
00:07:30,944 --> 00:07:32,710
Are your floors heated?
214
00:07:32,779 --> 00:07:33,978
Of course they're heated.
215
00:07:34,047 --> 00:07:35,413
They're floors.
216
00:07:35,481 --> 00:07:36,480
Come on.
217
00:07:39,052 --> 00:07:39,984
Come in.
218
00:07:40,053 --> 00:07:41,719
Have a seat.
219
00:07:41,788 --> 00:07:43,587
Luz, bring us some hot cider!
220
00:07:43,656 --> 00:07:45,189
Being with someone I can't stand
221
00:07:45,258 --> 00:07:46,791
in order to stay warm and well fed?
222
00:07:46,859 --> 00:07:49,226
These are my survival skills.
223
00:07:49,295 --> 00:07:50,995
And I'm not afraid of cookies, Luz!
224
00:07:51,064 --> 00:07:54,131
Here. It must be so cold out there.
225
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:55,766
Ahh.
226
00:07:55,835 --> 00:07:57,635
This is so soft.
227
00:07:57,704 --> 00:07:58,970
Is this made of puppy?
228
00:07:59,038 --> 00:08:01,405
You.
229
00:08:01,474 --> 00:08:03,774
There's my special girl.
230
00:08:07,380 --> 00:08:08,546
Oh, my God.
231
00:08:08,614 --> 00:08:10,147
These are so good.
232
00:08:10,216 --> 00:08:11,182
- They are?
- Mm-hmm.
233
00:08:11,250 --> 00:08:13,451
I don't eat them. I just like the smell.
234
00:08:13,519 --> 00:08:14,418
Mm-hmm.
235
00:08:15,488 --> 00:08:19,090
Luz, yo holo teléfono.
236
00:08:22,128 --> 00:08:25,596
I don't really speak Spanish.
237
00:08:25,665 --> 00:08:27,631
Bring me my money, Oliver.
238
00:08:27,700 --> 00:08:29,433
Oh, God.
239
00:08:29,502 --> 00:08:31,936
I just remembered I have a family.
240
00:08:32,005 --> 00:08:33,504
I have to go back home.
241
00:08:33,573 --> 00:08:34,739
Are you sure?
242
00:08:34,807 --> 00:08:35,940
Give me one reason to stay here,
243
00:08:36,009 --> 00:08:37,108
and I'll turn right back around.
244
00:08:37,176 --> 00:08:39,343
Is that a reference thing?
Is that Jay-Z?
245
00:08:39,412 --> 00:08:42,747
Usually when I don't
get things, it's Jay-Z.
246
00:08:42,815 --> 00:08:44,348
Goodbye, Viv.
247
00:08:48,955 --> 00:08:51,088
Viv's going to keep
Anna-Kat's fish safe.
248
00:08:51,157 --> 00:08:52,590
Well, took a whole bag of cheese puffs,
249
00:08:52,658 --> 00:08:54,058
but I got the fire started.
250
00:08:54,127 --> 00:08:56,460
Who knew that the kids'
favorite snack was combustible?
251
00:08:56,529 --> 00:08:57,862
Very. Okay, troops,
252
00:08:57,930 --> 00:09:00,398
let's start making a shelter
out of available materials.
253
00:09:00,466 --> 00:09:02,166
We'll need the hat rack,
some chip clips,
254
00:09:02,235 --> 00:09:03,934
and take the shoelaces
out of your shoes.
255
00:09:04,003 --> 00:09:05,369
Here's a great idea for a shelter.
256
00:09:05,438 --> 00:09:07,405
How about this house
that already covers us?
257
00:09:09,075 --> 00:09:10,074
Hey, where are you going?
258
00:09:10,143 --> 00:09:12,143
Upstairs to use the bathroom.
259
00:09:12,211 --> 00:09:14,545
There's no upstairs in camping.
260
00:09:14,614 --> 00:09:16,047
We'll have to dig a latrine in the snow.
261
00:09:16,115 --> 00:09:18,482
I can teach you how to make a shovel
out of a dust pan and a curtain rod.
262
00:09:18,551 --> 00:09:19,950
I love it all.
263
00:09:20,019 --> 00:09:22,119
I'm supposed to be
at a spa with my friends,
264
00:09:22,188 --> 00:09:24,388
not in a sandy, poopless house.
265
00:09:24,457 --> 00:09:25,890
I'm not a happy camper.
266
00:09:25,958 --> 00:09:27,758
Ah, would you look at that.
267
00:09:27,827 --> 00:09:29,207
I forgot the fish food.
268
00:09:29,395 --> 00:09:30,694
Be right back.
269
00:09:30,763 --> 00:09:33,223
Damn it, that's a fine woman.
270
00:09:33,366 --> 00:09:36,467
Oh. I'm so glad you came back.
271
00:09:36,536 --> 00:09:41,205
I just wanted to hang out
with you and... your stuff.
272
00:09:41,274 --> 00:09:43,574
So, where's your husband?
273
00:09:43,643 --> 00:09:44,775
Where are your step-sons?
274
00:09:44,844 --> 00:09:47,545
Oh, they've been fishing
in the Bahamas all week.
275
00:09:47,613 --> 00:09:49,046
Boys trip.
276
00:09:49,115 --> 00:09:51,749
But I thought you said Alan
brought you flowers yesterday.
277
00:09:51,818 --> 00:09:53,250
Right.
278
00:09:53,319 --> 00:09:54,618
I did say that.
279
00:09:54,687 --> 00:09:56,654
Mm-hmm.
280
00:09:56,722 --> 00:09:58,022
Okay.
281
00:09:58,091 --> 00:10:00,124
- Can I ask you a question?
- Of course.
282
00:10:00,193 --> 00:10:02,193
- Don't take this the wrong way.
- I won't.
283
00:10:02,261 --> 00:10:03,661
But why are you such a liar?
284
00:10:03,729 --> 00:10:05,796
- You.
- Stop it with the "you."
285
00:10:05,865 --> 00:10:07,565
I'm asking you an actual question,
286
00:10:07,633 --> 00:10:09,166
and don't say that you love it.
287
00:10:11,170 --> 00:10:13,137
I just wanted to be
one of the girls, I guess.
288
00:10:13,206 --> 00:10:16,941
You can't be part of our group
unless you're open and real.
289
00:10:17,009 --> 00:10:18,375
Girl, you so crazy.
290
00:10:18,444 --> 00:10:19,710
Like that?
291
00:10:19,779 --> 00:10:21,679
Here's the rule of Second Breakfast.
292
00:10:21,747 --> 00:10:23,380
We tell the truth about our lives.
293
00:10:23,449 --> 00:10:25,116
The worse the story,
the louder you tell it.
294
00:10:25,184 --> 00:10:26,717
If you find a gray hair down there,
295
00:10:26,786 --> 00:10:28,519
you better take a picture
and pass it on.
296
00:10:28,588 --> 00:10:30,354
Lasered. I'm like a seal down there.
297
00:10:30,423 --> 00:10:33,457
A lot of people would think that that
is too much information, but not us.
298
00:10:33,526 --> 00:10:35,092
We're brutally honest with each other.
299
00:10:35,161 --> 00:10:36,827
- I love it.
- No, you don't love it.
300
00:10:36,896 --> 00:10:38,116
- We just talked about that.
- Right, right.
301
00:10:38,141 --> 00:10:40,764
I think I can do this. Just...
just give me another chance, okay?
302
00:10:40,833 --> 00:10:42,766
- Fine. I will.
- Okay.
303
00:10:42,835 --> 00:10:44,935
What do you think about that?
304
00:10:45,004 --> 00:10:46,604
I like it.
305
00:10:46,672 --> 00:10:47,872
But deep down, I love it!
306
00:10:47,940 --> 00:10:49,607
Oh! Luz!
307
00:10:49,675 --> 00:10:51,308
Bring us champagne in the living room!
308
00:10:51,377 --> 00:10:52,810
Can't we just bring it ourselves?
309
00:10:52,879 --> 00:10:54,912
No. She likes doing it.
310
00:10:56,349 --> 00:10:58,949
Okay, high grades for improvisation.
311
00:10:59,018 --> 00:11:01,352
Low marks for over-reliance on mops.
312
00:11:01,420 --> 00:11:02,987
Now, what kind of knot do we use
313
00:11:03,055 --> 00:11:04,288
to secure the Swiffers to the frame?
314
00:11:04,357 --> 00:11:05,856
- Power cinch.
- Right.
315
00:11:05,925 --> 00:11:08,259
Oliver, you haven't
answered a single question.
316
00:11:08,327 --> 00:11:09,326
How about I ask one?
317
00:11:09,395 --> 00:11:10,895
Why do we own three Swiffers?
318
00:11:10,963 --> 00:11:13,297
Because your mom can never find
the mopping-cloth refills,
319
00:11:13,366 --> 00:11:15,599
so she keeps buying new ones.
320
00:11:15,668 --> 00:11:17,334
Anyway, I'd like it if you joined us.
321
00:11:17,403 --> 00:11:18,969
This is business.
322
00:11:19,038 --> 00:11:20,938
I have more pressing things to do.
323
00:11:23,376 --> 00:11:24,341
Hey.
324
00:11:24,410 --> 00:11:26,243
Camping... no electronics.
325
00:11:26,312 --> 00:11:29,280
Fine. Then I'm going across
the street to talk to Luz.
326
00:11:29,348 --> 00:11:30,814
Make sure my fish is okay.
327
00:11:30,883 --> 00:11:32,349
She's all I have.
328
00:11:32,418 --> 00:11:34,752
You have parents, two siblings,
and a room full of ponies.
329
00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:36,654
Eh.
330
00:11:38,357 --> 00:11:39,990
So I went with this sort of dark brocade
331
00:11:40,059 --> 00:11:42,126
because I thought it would be
easier for Luz to care for,
332
00:11:42,195 --> 00:11:43,260
- and it is.
- Mm-hmm.
333
00:11:43,329 --> 00:11:45,129
But every time I look at that chair,
334
00:11:45,198 --> 00:11:47,965
I think back to
that pale blue Belgian silk
335
00:11:48,034 --> 00:11:49,333
I should have chosen.
336
00:11:51,404 --> 00:11:53,237
So that's it?
337
00:11:53,306 --> 00:11:54,805
That's your biggest regret?
338
00:11:54,874 --> 00:11:57,241
How you upholstered
a chaise in your guest room?
339
00:11:57,310 --> 00:11:58,342
Am I in?
340
00:11:58,411 --> 00:12:00,411
Viv, sorry. Just not happening.
341
00:12:00,479 --> 00:12:01,779
No, no, no. I can do better.
342
00:12:01,847 --> 00:12:05,382
Fine. Then I'm gonna need
more champagne and more cookies.
343
00:12:05,451 --> 00:12:06,550
And by any chance, do you have
344
00:12:06,619 --> 00:12:08,219
a downstairs bathroom
with reliable plumbing?
345
00:12:08,287 --> 00:12:09,720
Six of them.
346
00:12:15,461 --> 00:12:16,493
You have my money?
347
00:12:16,562 --> 00:12:19,096
Luz, coming in caliente.
348
00:12:19,165 --> 00:12:20,798
You don't have my money.
349
00:12:20,866 --> 00:12:23,667
Like I told you,
I re-invested our profits.
350
00:12:23,736 --> 00:12:27,304
I bought more shirts for you
to fix and for me to sell.
351
00:12:27,373 --> 00:12:29,740
I don't want to fix more shirts.
352
00:12:29,809 --> 00:12:31,308
I'm done living here.
353
00:12:31,377 --> 00:12:32,676
I'm saving up to go home.
354
00:12:32,745 --> 00:12:34,044
Aren't you home here?
355
00:12:34,113 --> 00:12:36,380
You stupid Westport boy.
356
00:12:36,449 --> 00:12:38,649
My real home... El Salvador.
357
00:12:38,718 --> 00:12:39,950
I miss my family.
358
00:12:40,019 --> 00:12:42,319
But you can't leave.
We've got a good thing going.
359
00:12:42,388 --> 00:12:45,589
I have a 7-year-old
granddaughter I've never met.
360
00:12:45,658 --> 00:12:48,325
I have a 7-year-old sister.
You're not missing much.
361
00:12:50,496 --> 00:12:51,595
Mom?
362
00:12:51,664 --> 00:12:52,463
Oliver?
363
00:12:52,531 --> 00:12:54,398
What are you doing here?
364
00:12:54,467 --> 00:12:56,467
You're supposed to be
house-camping with Dad.
365
00:12:56,535 --> 00:12:59,236
I could say the same about you.
366
00:12:59,305 --> 00:13:00,504
Is that champagne?
367
00:13:00,573 --> 00:13:01,705
Oh.
368
00:13:01,774 --> 00:13:04,375
You forgot how a mother-son
relationship works.
369
00:13:04,443 --> 00:13:05,809
I don't answer to you,
370
00:13:05,878 --> 00:13:08,679
so you turn your little ass
around and go home.
371
00:13:14,587 --> 00:13:19,023
Luz, what's my biggest regret?
372
00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:23,093
Hey, we're whittling.
373
00:13:23,162 --> 00:13:24,428
Hey, I didn't ask.
374
00:13:24,497 --> 00:13:26,130
I've had enough of you today.
375
00:13:26,198 --> 00:13:27,364
Is it so hard for you to join in
376
00:13:27,433 --> 00:13:28,632
and act like part of this family?
377
00:13:28,701 --> 00:13:30,434
I'm just not interested in camping.
378
00:13:30,503 --> 00:13:31,702
Yeah, but I'm interested.
379
00:13:31,771 --> 00:13:32,870
And your sisters are interested.
380
00:13:32,938 --> 00:13:34,371
And your mom's interested.
381
00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:36,540
And, to be honest, I don't care
if you're not interested.
382
00:13:36,609 --> 00:13:38,309
Sometimes you do things
for other people.
383
00:13:38,377 --> 00:13:40,778
If Mom's so interested,
how come she's hiding out
384
00:13:40,846 --> 00:13:43,347
across the street
drinking champagne with Viv?
385
00:13:43,416 --> 00:13:44,381
There's no way.
386
00:13:44,450 --> 00:13:45,582
You could be right.
387
00:13:45,651 --> 00:13:47,651
I suppose it might have
been a nice Prosecco.
388
00:13:50,356 --> 00:13:54,024
Does losing a favorite shoe on the
ferry to Nantucket count as a regret?
389
00:13:54,093 --> 00:13:55,225
Keep thinking, Viv.
390
00:13:55,294 --> 00:13:57,261
- Ah.
- Oh, my God... whole cashews!
391
00:13:57,330 --> 00:13:58,762
This is some life.
392
00:13:58,831 --> 00:14:00,130
Is it?
393
00:14:02,501 --> 00:14:04,868
Greg?
394
00:14:08,140 --> 00:14:09,673
Couch kind of just swallows you up.
395
00:14:09,742 --> 00:14:11,108
No, don't get up.
396
00:14:11,177 --> 00:14:12,743
I don't want you to do anything
you don't want to do.
397
00:14:12,812 --> 00:14:14,178
Really?
398
00:14:14,246 --> 00:14:15,379
Feels like a trap.
399
00:14:15,448 --> 00:14:16,947
I'm across the street with our kids
400
00:14:17,016 --> 00:14:18,982
trying to make the best
of a bad situation,
401
00:14:19,051 --> 00:14:21,285
thinking how great it is
that you're on my side.
402
00:14:21,354 --> 00:14:23,287
But, evidently,
camping with me is worse than
403
00:14:23,356 --> 00:14:25,456
hanging out with someone
you can't stand.
404
00:14:29,095 --> 00:14:31,662
You can't stand me?
405
00:14:31,731 --> 00:14:34,498
To be fair, I've been
pretty clear about that.
406
00:14:34,567 --> 00:14:35,833
Huh.
407
00:14:40,174 --> 00:14:42,095
So are you gonna head home?
408
00:14:42,942 --> 00:14:44,642
I'm gonna let him cool down.
409
00:14:44,710 --> 00:14:45,976
It's really not my fault.
410
00:14:46,045 --> 00:14:48,812
I cannot be expected to share
his same interests, right?
411
00:14:48,881 --> 00:14:50,114
Oh, I've been there.
412
00:14:50,182 --> 00:14:52,016
- My first husband...
- Wait.
413
00:14:52,084 --> 00:14:53,417
You were married before?
414
00:14:53,486 --> 00:14:55,586
Yeah, for like five years.
415
00:14:55,655 --> 00:14:57,621
And it never crossed
your mind to share that?
416
00:14:57,690 --> 00:14:59,700
Interested piqued. Proceed.
417
00:14:59,725 --> 00:15:01,658
Well, I just... I really
don't like to talk about it.
418
00:15:01,727 --> 00:15:02,926
It was back when I was still heavy.
419
00:15:02,995 --> 00:15:04,261
I mean, not as heavy as you, of course.
420
00:15:04,330 --> 00:15:05,429
Of course.
421
00:15:05,498 --> 00:15:06,830
We lived in this little house upstate.
422
00:15:06,899 --> 00:15:08,302
I mean, not as small
as yours, of course.
423
00:15:08,359 --> 00:15:10,126
Don't feel the need
to include me in your story.
424
00:15:10,202 --> 00:15:11,435
And he was super into model trains.
425
00:15:11,504 --> 00:15:12,703
He kept them in the garage,
426
00:15:12,772 --> 00:15:14,171
you know, on of those
big pieces of plywood.
427
00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:15,973
With the green fake grass
and the tiny little trees?
428
00:15:16,042 --> 00:15:17,541
- Yeah, that's the kind.
- Yeah.
429
00:15:17,610 --> 00:15:19,376
So he would invite me out
to see his latest
430
00:15:19,445 --> 00:15:22,212
tiny turn-of-the-century town
and expect me to be excited
431
00:15:22,281 --> 00:15:23,781
and operate the switch track,
432
00:15:23,849 --> 00:15:27,318
and he just didn't get that his
thing really wasn't my thing.
433
00:15:27,386 --> 00:15:29,920
So you get where I'm coming from
with this whole camping thing.
434
00:15:29,989 --> 00:15:32,956
- 100%.
- Viv, look at you!
435
00:15:33,025 --> 00:15:35,159
This is Second Breakfast talk.
You're doing it!
436
00:15:35,227 --> 00:15:36,694
I'm being completely honest!
437
00:15:38,531 --> 00:15:42,166
So then, he moved
the trains into the kitchen.
438
00:15:42,234 --> 00:15:43,701
- No.
- Yeah.
439
00:15:43,769 --> 00:15:45,636
He saw it at Swensons
and thought it looked cool.
440
00:15:45,705 --> 00:15:47,071
No wonder you left.
441
00:15:47,139 --> 00:15:48,472
Well, that's the thing.
442
00:15:48,541 --> 00:15:51,108
I didn't leave, and he
really didn't leave me.
443
00:15:51,177 --> 00:15:55,179
We just sort of drifted apart
and each did our own thing.
444
00:15:55,247 --> 00:15:58,982
If I had just shown an interest
in those stupid trains...
445
00:15:59,051 --> 00:16:00,250
and it's not really even the trains,
446
00:16:00,319 --> 00:16:03,887
it's any of it... the Yankees
or going clamming.
447
00:16:03,956 --> 00:16:06,223
- Mm. Mm.
- Or swing dancing.
448
00:16:06,292 --> 00:16:07,591
If I had just shown
a glimmer of interest
449
00:16:07,660 --> 00:16:09,927
in any of those things,
450
00:16:09,995 --> 00:16:11,462
it would have meant the world to him.
451
00:16:13,499 --> 00:16:15,199
- One question.
- Hm?
452
00:16:15,267 --> 00:16:17,468
Did the track go around
the top of the kitchen?
453
00:16:17,536 --> 00:16:18,769
Yeah.
454
00:16:18,838 --> 00:16:20,738
That's how I was picturing it.
455
00:16:20,806 --> 00:16:24,708
Now I'm in this huge house with
more than I could ever need,
456
00:16:24,777 --> 00:16:29,780
in flawless shape,
wishing I was back there
457
00:16:29,849 --> 00:16:31,615
in that crappy house,
458
00:16:31,684 --> 00:16:34,518
with my sweet husband
and his stupid trains.
459
00:16:36,255 --> 00:16:37,554
Damn.
460
00:16:37,623 --> 00:16:38,922
Viv.
461
00:16:38,991 --> 00:16:41,058
It just got real.
462
00:16:41,127 --> 00:16:43,227
Now I'm with a guy who doesn't care
463
00:16:43,295 --> 00:16:45,329
if I'm involved in his life or not.
464
00:16:45,398 --> 00:16:47,898
I got to stop being such a bitch.
465
00:16:47,967 --> 00:16:52,202
And go home to my crappy house,
my sweet husband,
466
00:16:52,271 --> 00:16:55,472
and his stupid camping.
467
00:16:55,541 --> 00:16:57,174
Yeah, you do.
468
00:17:22,701 --> 00:17:24,134
It's not that funny.
469
00:17:24,203 --> 00:17:25,335
I brought wood.
470
00:17:25,404 --> 00:17:26,303
Where'd you get it?
471
00:17:26,372 --> 00:17:27,538
I looted it.
472
00:17:27,606 --> 00:17:29,940
Looting is legal in time of crisis.
473
00:17:30,009 --> 00:17:32,109
Oh, it's so nice in there.
474
00:17:32,178 --> 00:17:33,977
Look at that. See?
475
00:17:34,046 --> 00:17:35,946
Good thing I bought all those Swiffers.
476
00:17:37,950 --> 00:17:39,249
What happened to your hand?
477
00:17:39,318 --> 00:17:41,118
Ah, whittling accident.
478
00:17:41,187 --> 00:17:42,319
Happens.
479
00:17:42,388 --> 00:17:45,088
We bandaged it with
tree sap and a maxi-pad,
480
00:17:45,157 --> 00:17:46,223
the nighttime kind.
481
00:17:46,292 --> 00:17:47,624
That is amazing.
482
00:17:49,228 --> 00:17:51,261
You know, you don't have to be here.
483
00:17:51,330 --> 00:17:53,430
No. I do.
484
00:17:53,499 --> 00:17:57,367
We got married to be together
and to do stuff.
485
00:17:57,436 --> 00:18:00,838
And there's good stuff and
there's crappy stuff, like this.
486
00:18:00,906 --> 00:18:02,172
But we're partners.
487
00:18:02,241 --> 00:18:03,440
And you can't do what's best for you
488
00:18:03,509 --> 00:18:05,809
and screw over your partner.
489
00:18:05,878 --> 00:18:08,011
The fact that Viv is the one
that made me realize that
490
00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:10,347
is really freaking me out.
491
00:18:10,416 --> 00:18:14,251
So, do you accept my apology?
492
00:18:15,521 --> 00:18:18,155
No.
493
00:18:18,224 --> 00:18:20,757
What do you mean, "No"?
494
00:18:20,826 --> 00:18:22,726
You have to earn your keep around here.
495
00:18:22,795 --> 00:18:25,629
Okay. Great. Perfect. What can I do?
496
00:18:25,698 --> 00:18:27,364
We still need the snow latrine.
497
00:18:27,433 --> 00:18:30,267
Yes.
498
00:18:30,336 --> 00:18:31,535
Yes, we do.
499
00:18:31,604 --> 00:18:33,383
I'm on it. How deep?
500
00:18:33,506 --> 00:18:36,673
If you have to ask, "How deep?"
you haven't gone deep enough.
501
00:19:01,166 --> 00:19:02,766
Where's my money?
502
00:19:02,835 --> 00:19:05,102
- Right here.
- What is this?
503
00:19:05,170 --> 00:19:07,237
This is all my savings.
I want you to have it.
504
00:19:07,306 --> 00:19:08,605
So you can go back to Guatemala.
505
00:19:08,674 --> 00:19:10,240
- El Salvador.
- El Salvador.
506
00:19:12,578 --> 00:19:14,111
Why are you doing this for me?
507
00:19:14,179 --> 00:19:15,846
We're partners.
508
00:19:15,915 --> 00:19:18,949
You don't screw over your partner.
509
00:19:19,018 --> 00:19:21,451
You stupid Westport boy.
510
00:19:29,562 --> 00:19:30,861
I'll miss you, Luz.
511
00:19:30,930 --> 00:19:33,730
I wish I could say the same.
512
00:19:33,799 --> 00:19:36,500
I'm also gonna miss that.
513
00:19:36,569 --> 00:19:39,703
Look who helped me dig
a toilet in the cold, hard earth
514
00:19:39,772 --> 00:19:41,438
with a plastic dustpan.
515
00:19:41,507 --> 00:19:43,974
And I brought the fish back.
516
00:19:45,377 --> 00:19:46,410
Oh, power's on.
517
00:19:50,182 --> 00:19:52,215
Mind if I join you guys?
518
00:19:52,284 --> 00:19:54,017
Whatever happened to this
not being your thing?
519
00:19:54,086 --> 00:19:56,887
I'm really sorry.
520
00:19:56,956 --> 00:19:59,690
I was being selfish,
and whatever Mom said
521
00:19:59,758 --> 00:20:02,426
when she screwed up,
can I just piggyback on that?
522
00:20:02,494 --> 00:20:03,860
Smart.
523
00:20:03,929 --> 00:20:05,195
That was good stuff.
524
00:20:05,264 --> 00:20:06,797
Taco in a bag?
525
00:20:06,865 --> 00:20:08,131
What? No.
526
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:09,099
Ew.
527
00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:14,923
Sorry I made you dig a fake latrine.
528
00:20:15,002 --> 00:20:17,423
Sorry I actually used it
and the neighbors saw me.
529
00:20:22,330 --> 00:20:24,463
- Oh, Viv sent you a text.
- Oh, what does it say?
530
00:20:24,532 --> 00:20:26,399
It's a picture.
531
00:20:30,271 --> 00:20:32,371
Why would she send you that?
532
00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:36,676
She wasn't lying.
533
00:20:36,744 --> 00:20:39,011
Smooth as a seal.
534
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:40,980
Okay.
535
00:20:42,642 --> 00:20:45,442
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com