1
00:00:00,433 --> 00:00:02,768
Anyway, that's how I
escaped from space prison!
2
00:00:02,770 --> 00:00:04,036
Oh, scary place.
3
00:00:04,038 --> 00:00:06,605
Wow, Rick! That's-- That's one--
One heck of a story.
4
00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:08,709
I sure do wish I could have
been there to see it happen.
5
00:00:08,733 --> 00:00:09,342
Oh, come on.
6
00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:11,710
Who wants to watch a mad scientist
use handmade sci-fi tools
7
00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:13,679
to take out highly trained
alien guards
8
00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:15,714
when we can sit here
and be a family at Shoney's?
9
00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:18,617
Dad, it's great to have you back,
no matter where we are,
10
00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:20,319
but wouldn't you like
to go home?
11
00:00:20,321 --> 00:00:22,521
Emotionally speaking, honey,
Shoney's is my home.
12
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:23,889
Yeah, but you just
got out of prison.
13
00:00:23,891 --> 00:00:26,392
I mean, how much of a step up
from that is--
14
00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:28,160
Jerry, get out of the booth,
take all your clothes off,
15
00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:29,361
and fold yourself 12 times.
16
00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:30,829
You got it.
17
00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:37,536
Six folds, huh?
18
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,405
W-W-What, have you guys got me
in a Series 9000?
19
00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:42,474
You cheap insect [bleep] didn't think
I was worth your best equipment?
20
00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:45,344
Man, I told the money bugs.
21
00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:47,413
I said, "You know
who this guy is, right?
22
00:00:47,415 --> 00:00:49,448
You want me to get intel
out of the smartest mammal
23
00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:52,284
in the galaxy, you better
give me a decent brainalyzer."
24
00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:53,986
Well, you might as well
order some pancakes,
25
00:00:53,988 --> 00:00:56,221
because I don't see the need
to leave this part of my brain.
26
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:57,656
Oh, I think you do.
27
00:00:57,658 --> 00:00:59,792
Eventually, you're either gonna
relax your cerebellum...
28
00:00:59,794 --> 00:01:00,561
Shoney's...
29
00:01:00,586 --> 00:01:02,861
or the Series 9000 is
going to turn it into mush.
30
00:01:02,863 --> 00:01:05,197
Relaxed enough?
31
00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:06,398
I admire you, Rick.
32
00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:08,901
When I --
33
00:01:10,071 --> 00:01:11,303
Rick, here's --
34
00:01:13,874 --> 00:01:15,207
What's going on?
35
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:17,376
It's hard to tell. He may have
manifested some sort of butt.
36
00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:18,610
He can do that?
37
00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:21,747
He is the smartest man
in the universe.
38
00:01:21,749 --> 00:01:23,816
♪
39
00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:28,740
Corrections by XhmikosR
www.addic7ed.com
40
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:33,425
I tell ya, the Galactic
Federation taking over Earth --
41
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,427
Best thing that's ever happened
to this family.
42
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,329
I just got my sixth promotion
this week,
43
00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:38,564
and I still don't know
what I do.
44
00:01:38,566 --> 00:01:40,299
Who cares how high
they promote you?
45
00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:41,834
Everyone just gets paid
in pills.
46
00:01:41,836 --> 00:01:43,836
Well, when you're not sure
what you do for a living,
47
00:01:43,838 --> 00:01:45,270
you can make your own rules.
48
00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:47,473
Summer, show your father
some respect.
49
00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:49,875
He's pulling down
a six-chewable figure income.
50
00:01:51,145 --> 00:01:52,911
I'll get that in a moment.
How are everyone's pills?
51
00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:54,913
Oh, Morty, you've hardly
touched your pills.
52
00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:56,949
I kind of had big pills
for lunch, and I
53
00:01:56,951 --> 00:01:59,118
wasn't gonna eat
any more pills.
54
00:02:00,321 --> 00:02:01,553
Thank you, Conroy.
55
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:02,821
You spoil us, Conroy.
56
00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:04,623
Grandpa Rick wouldn't put up
with this!
57
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:07,292
Stop saying his name!
He abandoned us.
58
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,827
Willem Dafoe!
59
00:02:08,829 --> 00:02:10,863
Th-That's the guy I couldn't
think of this morning.
60
00:02:10,865 --> 00:02:12,364
Don't make my mistake, Summer.
61
00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:14,133
Don't deify the people
that leave you.
62
00:02:14,135 --> 00:02:17,436
You'll end up a horse surgeon
in a world controlled by aliens
63
00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:19,338
whose medicine keeps horses
64
00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:20,939
healthy forever.
65
00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:22,875
Horses live longer
than tortoises now.
66
00:02:22,877 --> 00:02:24,476
Is that what you want
for yourself?
67
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:27,579
Maybe I just want you to care
if I run away yelling!
68
00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:29,114
Who saved room for pill brûlée?
69
00:02:29,116 --> 00:02:30,682
Ooh!
70
00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:33,152
I can see why you chose
this family-friendly restaurant
71
00:02:33,154 --> 00:02:34,620
to represent your cerebellum.
72
00:02:34,622 --> 00:02:37,856
So safe, so comfortable,
so Shoney's.
73
00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:41,126
But admit it, Rick -- you're
going crazy cooped up in here.
74
00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:42,461
Let's go visit some memories.
75
00:02:42,463 --> 00:02:43,662
Oh, any particular ones?
76
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:45,397
You want to see my first boner,
77
00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:46,532
or should we go straight
to the moment
78
00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:48,300
I discovered
interdimensional travel?
79
00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:50,869
Ooh, your little
flappy doodles are twitching.
80
00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:52,971
Does that mean you're aroused,
or did you just get a signal
81
00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:54,506
that one of your buddies
found a grape?
82
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:55,807
It's arousal.
83
00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:57,709
Yes, I'd like very much
to visit the memory
84
00:02:57,711 --> 00:02:58,977
of you inventing
your portal gun.
85
00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:01,847
Yeah, well, tough titties.
86
00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:04,349
There's no tougher titty
than a psychotic break, Rick.
87
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:08,587
Well, that depends on who breaks
first -- me or the titty.
88
00:03:10,457 --> 00:03:11,857
Someone special you remember?
89
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,792
Is that your memory of her
out there --
90
00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:17,196
Between where you were on 9/11 and
your favorite sports blooper?
91
00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:22,935
If we stay here, you'll die,
along with all your memories.
92
00:03:22,937 --> 00:03:24,903
If you take me
where I want to go...
93
00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:26,705
she'll be there, too,
won't she?
94
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:29,808
The day I invented the portal
gun is the day I lost her.
95
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,376
Oh, that sounds cool.
96
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,345
I can get what I want
and you can say goodbye.
97
00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:36,114
Fine, but I'm driving.
98
00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:38,083
...as an excuse
to strip away our freedom.
99
00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:42,988
Huh? What are you --
What are you doing?
100
00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:45,724
Grandpa Rick must have
some secret lab, right?
101
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:48,527
With, like, laser guns and
jets packs and a space tank!
102
00:03:48,529 --> 00:03:50,128
And we can go
break him out of prison!
103
00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:51,496
Look at these dead flies!
104
00:03:51,498 --> 00:03:52,864
Maybe if we arrange them
in a certain order,
105
00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:54,700
it plays a hologram
or it opens a secret door.
106
00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:56,268
Summer, you're freaking me out.
107
00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:58,604
I know things have changed
a lot, and I know you miss Rick,
108
00:03:58,606 --> 00:04:00,606
but getting him back
wouldn't make things better.
109
00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:02,174
And, you know,
we're not doing so bad.
110
00:04:02,176 --> 00:04:03,675
We're miserable, Morty!
111
00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:06,878
There's a mandatory curfew,
their weird calendar made me 47,
112
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:08,780
and they weaponized
the Eiffel Tower!
113
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:09,969
Hey, I like being 35.
114
00:04:09,994 --> 00:04:12,718
- I-I can rent a car now.
- Because you suck.
115
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:14,052
You've been keeping
your lip zipped about it
116
00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:15,954
since Grandpa got arrested,
but the fact is,
117
00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:18,023
you're freaking stoked
to bail on him.
118
00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:19,424
He bails on everybody!
119
00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:21,093
He bailed on Mom
when she was a kid!
120
00:04:21,095 --> 00:04:22,828
He -- He bailed
on tiny planet!
121
00:04:22,830 --> 00:04:25,864
And in case I never made this clear
to you, Summer, he bailed on you.
122
00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:27,532
He left you to rot
in a world that he ruined
123
00:04:27,534 --> 00:04:28,800
because he doesn't care!
124
00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:32,037
Because nobody's special to him,
Summer, not even himself.
125
00:04:32,039 --> 00:04:34,106
So, if you really want your
grandpa back, grab a shovel.
126
00:04:34,108 --> 00:04:36,942
The one that won't let you down
is buried in your backyard!
127
00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:37,909
You're right!
128
00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:39,678
What?!
No, I'm not right.
129
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,780
I-I was using
ghoulish overkill!
130
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,248
Ghoulish overkill, Summer!
131
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:49,121
Oh, God!
Oh, God!
132
00:04:49,123 --> 00:04:49,788
Whoa, whoa!
133
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,059
Where are we going?
134
00:04:54,061 --> 00:04:55,927
To the day it all began...
and ended.
135
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:58,163
The moment
that changed everything.
136
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,600
Welcome to McDonald's.
Can I take your order?
137
00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:03,335
Yeah, I'd like to get
a 10-piece McNugget
138
00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:05,003
and a bunch
of the Szechuan sauce.
139
00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:06,805
Like, as much as you're allowed
to give me.
140
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:09,675
In 1998, they had this promotion
for the Disney film "Mulan",
141
00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:11,009
where they --
Where they --
142
00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:12,878
They created a new sauce
for the McNuggets
143
00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:15,247
called Szechuan sauce,
and it's delicious!
144
00:05:15,249 --> 00:05:17,316
And then they got rid of it,
and now it's gone.
145
00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:19,184
This is the only place we're gonna
be able to try it, is in my memory.
146
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:21,320
Rick, you're doing this bit
while your brain is melting.
147
00:05:21,322 --> 00:05:22,954
Okay.
All right, all right.
148
00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:28,060
- Is that...
- Me.
149
00:05:28,062 --> 00:05:29,995
I used to wear blue pants.
150
00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:37,002
When'd you make the leap
to interdimensional travel?
151
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:38,737
I didn't.
I did.
152
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:42,941
Well, well, well.
If it isn't us.
153
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:44,776
You know the worst part
about inventing teleportation?
154
00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:46,378
Suddenly, you're able to travel
the whole galaxy,
155
00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:47,713
and the first thing
you learn is,
156
00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:49,414
you're the last guy
to invent teleportation.
157
00:05:49,416 --> 00:05:53,018
Fortunately, you're about to invent
something much more powerful.
158
00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:55,620
What?
159
00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:04,162
Summer, nobody has
to know about that.
160
00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:06,531
We could put it right back
and pretend we never saw it,
161
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,999
like we did
with Dad's mannequin leg.
162
00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:10,369
Fine, stay here.
I'll rescue Grandpa myself.
163
00:06:10,371 --> 00:06:12,404
- And how are you gonna do that?
- I don't know yet.
164
00:06:12,406 --> 00:06:13,605
I'll make it up as I go.
165
00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:16,108
That's what Grandpa Rick does.
That's what heroes do.
166
00:06:16,110 --> 00:06:17,976
Y-You want to see
what a hero Rick is?
167
00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:19,778
I-I'll bring you somewhere,
Summer.
168
00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:22,414
- Um...
- My goodness, children.
169
00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:25,150
Relinquish
the illegal technology
170
00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:27,352
to the nearest
Federation representative.
171
00:06:27,354 --> 00:06:29,821
And then
we'll all play Balderdash.
172
00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:41,768
♪
173
00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:48,273
Oh, my goodness!
Oh, oh! My goo--
174
00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:53,545
Oh, my God.
175
00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:55,814
I have that exact same top.
176
00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:57,249
What is this place?
177
00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:59,084
And what's with
"Hunger Games" Summer?
178
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:03,054
That's my sister.
This used to be my home.
179
00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:04,556
Imagine doing
anything you want,
180
00:07:04,558 --> 00:07:06,858
then hopping to a timeline
where you never did it.
181
00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:08,493
Imagine going anywhere,
anytime,
182
00:07:08,495 --> 00:07:10,061
with nobody able to stop you.
183
00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:11,663
Sounds lonely.
184
00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:13,432
Lonely? Dude,
you have yourself --
185
00:07:13,434 --> 00:07:14,666
Your infinite selves.
186
00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:17,869
It's a nonstop party where all the
guests are the only person we like.
187
00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:19,504
You think it's cool
being the smartest man on Earth,
188
00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:21,106
but once we give you
this technology,
189
00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:23,909
you become the smartest thing
in every conceivable universe --
190
00:07:23,911 --> 00:07:26,511
The Infinite Rick, a god.
191
00:07:26,513 --> 00:07:27,879
Eh, pass.
192
00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:30,615
Excuse me?
Bro, Ricks don't pass on this.
193
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:31,783
Who do you think you are?
194
00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:33,919
A different kind of Rick,
I guess.
195
00:07:33,921 --> 00:07:36,588
Well, we'll see how long
that lasts.
196
00:07:38,692 --> 00:07:42,194
I heard sci-fi noises.
Did you make a breakthrough?
197
00:07:42,196 --> 00:07:43,195
Sort of.
198
00:07:43,197 --> 00:07:44,896
I just took
a long look at myself,
199
00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:47,532
and I don't think this
science thing is gonna pay off.
200
00:07:47,534 --> 00:07:51,036
Well, why don't I get Beth
and we'll go out for ice cream?
201
00:07:51,038 --> 00:07:53,138
That, Dianne,
is the last great idea
202
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,640
that will ever be had
in this garage.
203
00:07:58,612 --> 00:08:01,446
Good roasted Cronenberg,
I assume.
204
00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:04,950
Mom, you're looking... feral.
205
00:08:05,886 --> 00:08:07,352
I can't believe Rick did this.
206
00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:08,954
These are the parts
of Rick's adventures
207
00:08:08,956 --> 00:08:11,590
you don't get to see --
The parts he leaves behind.
208
00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:13,425
All right,
it's been great, guys.
209
00:08:13,427 --> 00:08:16,595
I really only wanted to stop by
here for a quick "I told ya so".
210
00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:18,563
- So, uh...
- Looking for this?
211
00:08:18,565 --> 00:08:21,933
- What are you doing with that?!
- It stinks of Rick.
212
00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:24,169
No! Why?!
Why would you do that?!
213
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:25,904
W-W-What is the matter
with you people?!
214
00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:29,407
You can never leave.
She cannot remain.
215
00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:30,709
She stinks of Rick.
216
00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:35,680
Hold your fire!
Hold your fire!
217
00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:37,549
I'm Morty C-137.
218
00:08:38,285 --> 00:08:41,052
We detected a compromised
portal gun. Where is your Rick?
219
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:42,320
- He's in prison.
- Summer.
220
00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:43,989
He got captured
by the Federation
221
00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:45,423
and we were going to
rescue him.
222
00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:47,826
Very troubling.
We can't risk Citadel secrets
223
00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:49,294
falling into
the Federation's hands.
224
00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:51,396
We'll dispatch S.E.A.L.
Team Ricks immediately
225
00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:53,465
to break into the prison
holding C-137.
226
00:08:53,467 --> 00:08:55,767
- Boo-yah.
- And assassinate him.
227
00:08:55,769 --> 00:08:57,669
Boo-nah?
228
00:08:57,671 --> 00:09:01,473
Come on, girls!
The ice cream's gonna melt.
229
00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:15,854
Nooooooo!
230
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:18,690
Wow.
This sauce is [bleep] amazing.
231
00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:20,158
You said it was promoting
a movie?
232
00:09:23,654 --> 00:09:26,188
Carry the three, add a two.
233
00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:29,058
I got it.
I [bleep] got it.
234
00:09:29,060 --> 00:09:31,527
Whoa.
I-Is that it, the portal gun?
235
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:33,629
Yeah.
That's the three lines of math
236
00:09:33,631 --> 00:09:36,999
that separates my life as a man
from my life as an unfeeling ghost.
237
00:09:37,001 --> 00:09:38,434
Awesome-possum.
238
00:09:39,837 --> 00:09:41,270
Mission Control,
you getting this?
239
00:09:41,272 --> 00:09:44,039
Holy shit, yes!
Yes, we got it! Yeah!
240
00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:47,009
Thanks, Rick. I'll try to remember
to shut off the brainalyzer.
241
00:09:47,011 --> 00:09:49,411
Actually, I think
it shuts off automatically
242
00:09:49,413 --> 00:09:50,813
once your brain is liquid.
243
00:09:50,815 --> 00:09:52,014
Don't know, don't care.
244
00:09:52,016 --> 00:09:53,916
Pull me out.
245
00:09:53,918 --> 00:09:55,751
Hey, pull me out.
Can you hear me?
246
00:09:55,753 --> 00:09:57,686
- Nope, they cannot.
- Why not?
247
00:09:57,688 --> 00:10:00,622
Because the code you just uploaded
wasn't actually my portal-gun formula,
248
00:10:00,624 --> 00:10:03,459
it was a virus giving me full
control over the brainalyzer.
249
00:10:03,461 --> 00:10:05,127
What are you talking about?
This is a memory.
250
00:10:05,129 --> 00:10:07,029
Y-You can't alter details
of a memory.
251
00:10:07,031 --> 00:10:09,231
True, but you can alter
anything you want
252
00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:11,667
about a totally fabricated
origin story.
253
00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:14,370
It's a trap! Abort!
I'm still in his Shoney's!
254
00:10:14,372 --> 00:10:16,338
Repeat -- we never left
his Shoney's!
255
00:10:16,340 --> 00:10:18,640
Mission accomplished, boys.
Pull me out.
256
00:10:18,642 --> 00:10:19,875
Roger that.
257
00:10:19,877 --> 00:10:21,076
Okay, have fun in what's left
of my brain.
258
00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:22,444
I'm gonna transfer to yours.
259
00:10:22,446 --> 00:10:24,446
Oh, there's not enough room
for all my genius,
260
00:10:24,448 --> 00:10:26,482
so I'm leaving you with
my fear of wicker furniture,
261
00:10:26,484 --> 00:10:27,983
my desire to play the trumpet,
262
00:10:27,985 --> 00:10:29,485
my tentative plans
to purchase a hat,
263
00:10:29,487 --> 00:10:31,153
and six years
of improv workshops.
264
00:10:31,155 --> 00:10:32,521
Comedy comes in threes.
265
00:10:32,523 --> 00:10:34,123
It's a trap! Abort!
We never left his --
266
00:10:36,460 --> 00:10:38,394
No!
267
00:10:41,132 --> 00:10:42,364
Another day, another dollar.
268
00:10:42,366 --> 00:10:43,966
Am I great insect creature
or what?!
269
00:10:43,968 --> 00:10:46,769
Congratulations, Agent.
You'll be highly commended for this.
270
00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:48,837
Always wait for permission
to feel accomplishment.
271
00:10:48,839 --> 00:10:51,240
That's my motto. One thing
still perplexes me --
272
00:10:51,242 --> 00:10:53,042
Why would Rick Sanchez
turn himself in?
273
00:10:53,044 --> 00:10:55,511
Well, I'm just a dumb-ass bug,
but it's possible Rick knew
274
00:10:55,513 --> 00:10:57,279
he'd be interrogated
at this facility,
275
00:10:57,281 --> 00:11:00,516
where we not only keep our most
wanted, but our most sensitive data.
276
00:11:00,518 --> 00:11:02,317
Anyone here with level-nine
access could
277
00:11:02,319 --> 00:11:04,053
I don't know,
collapse a government.
278
00:11:04,055 --> 00:11:05,454
I'm just gonna go take a dump.
279
00:11:05,456 --> 00:11:07,523
Is it cool if I use
the level-nine bathroom?
280
00:11:07,525 --> 00:11:09,958
W-W-What's the level-nine
master access code again?
281
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:12,494
Oh, that's easy --
8-3...
282
00:11:12,496 --> 00:11:13,529
Yeah!
283
00:11:13,531 --> 00:11:15,197
S.E.A.L. Team Ricks
in the house!
284
00:11:17,568 --> 00:11:18,767
Hi, Rick.
285
00:11:18,769 --> 00:11:20,202
Bye, Rick.
286
00:11:24,108 --> 00:11:25,741
D-99, y-you okay?
287
00:11:28,079 --> 00:11:30,479
I'm bummed I didn't get to give
that insect dick a test-drive.
288
00:11:30,481 --> 00:11:32,381
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
T-The Council of Ricks sent us.
289
00:11:32,383 --> 00:11:33,582
We have your Morty and Summer.
290
00:11:33,584 --> 00:11:35,084
They're prisoners
on the Citadel.
291
00:11:35,086 --> 00:11:36,418
Great!
292
00:11:36,420 --> 00:11:38,720
Security breach in room 6755.
293
00:11:38,722 --> 00:11:41,156
Lovely. Not only
is my plan screwed up,
294
00:11:41,158 --> 00:11:42,658
I also forgot how to improvise.
295
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:44,626
All security people approach.
296
00:11:44,628 --> 00:11:45,761
Security breach.
297
00:11:53,037 --> 00:11:54,603
A city of Grandpas?
298
00:11:54,605 --> 00:11:56,338
It's the Citadel of Ricks.
299
00:11:56,340 --> 00:11:58,140
All the different Ricks
from all the different realities
300
00:11:58,142 --> 00:11:59,808
got together to hide here
from the government.
301
00:11:59,810 --> 00:12:01,577
But if every Rick
hates the government,
302
00:12:01,579 --> 00:12:03,045
why would they hate Grandpa?
303
00:12:03,047 --> 00:12:05,047
Because Ricks hate themselves
the most.
304
00:12:05,049 --> 00:12:07,749
And our Rick
is the most... himself.
305
00:12:07,751 --> 00:12:09,051
Not anymore, homey.
306
00:12:09,053 --> 00:12:10,486
S.E.A.L. Team Ricks
turned his unibrow
307
00:12:10,488 --> 00:12:12,921
into two brows --
With a bullet.
308
00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:16,992
- Your Rick's dead!
- Your Rick's dead!
309
00:12:16,994 --> 00:12:19,194
♪
310
00:12:19,196 --> 00:12:22,564
Sir, Rick D-99 is returning
from the mission alone.
311
00:12:22,566 --> 00:12:25,634
Apparently, S.E.A.L. Team Ricks
suffered heavy casualties.
312
00:12:25,636 --> 00:12:26,902
Bring him in.
313
00:12:26,904 --> 00:12:29,771
He says he'll only talk to
a Rick with higher clearance.
314
00:12:29,773 --> 00:12:31,507
La-di-da.
Give me that.
315
00:12:31,509 --> 00:12:35,043
D-99, this is the commander in
chief of the Citadel's militia.
316
00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:37,146
Go --
Good enough.
317
00:12:38,649 --> 00:12:41,650
He's a spy. Blow him up.
I'm gonna go take a shit.
318
00:12:41,652 --> 00:12:45,487
Operating an unregistered portal gun,
radicalizing a Summer,
319
00:12:45,489 --> 00:12:47,156
conspiring with
a traitorous Rick.
320
00:12:47,158 --> 00:12:48,357
How do you plead?
321
00:12:48,359 --> 00:12:49,791
How is this a fair trial?
322
00:12:49,793 --> 00:12:51,293
O-Our lawyer is a Morty.
323
00:12:51,295 --> 00:12:53,595
It's not fair, you have no
rights, and he's not a lawyer.
324
00:12:53,597 --> 00:12:55,330
We just keep him here
because he's fun.
325
00:12:55,332 --> 00:12:56,732
Look at him go.
326
00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:57,866
Ha ha, yeah!
327
00:12:57,868 --> 00:13:00,402
We'll be lenient
if you renounce your Rick.
328
00:13:00,404 --> 00:13:01,837
What say you, Summer?
329
00:13:01,839 --> 00:13:03,038
I say [bleep] you!
330
00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:04,640
My grandpa was my hero.
331
00:13:04,642 --> 00:13:06,475
You killed him because
you were jealous of him.
332
00:13:06,477 --> 00:13:08,143
That's pretty obvious
from the haircuts.
333
00:13:08,145 --> 00:13:10,445
So do what you want to me,
but let my brother go.
334
00:13:10,447 --> 00:13:12,080
He already renounced Rick.
335
00:13:12,082 --> 00:13:13,248
Morty?
336
00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:14,683
What?
337
00:13:14,685 --> 00:13:17,286
N-No, I don't want to see
your Pog collection.
338
00:13:17,288 --> 00:13:19,655
I don't renounce Rick,
and I never have.
339
00:13:19,657 --> 00:13:22,157
I was just trying
to protect my sister.
340
00:13:22,159 --> 00:13:23,825
I wanted you to have
a normal life.
341
00:13:23,827 --> 00:13:25,794
That's something you can't have
when Rick shows up.
342
00:13:25,796 --> 00:13:28,597
Everything real turns fake.
Everything right is wrong.
343
00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:31,366
All you know is that you know
nothing and he knows everything.
344
00:13:31,368 --> 00:13:34,136
And, well -- well,
he's not a villain, Summer,
345
00:13:34,138 --> 00:13:35,871
but he shouldn't be your hero.
346
00:13:35,873 --> 00:13:39,208
He's more like a demon
or a super [bleep]up god.
347
00:13:39,210 --> 00:13:41,476
Let's not suck the ghost
of his [bleep] too hard.
348
00:13:41,478 --> 00:13:43,011
He was a terrorist,
and now he's dead.
349
00:13:43,013 --> 00:13:44,980
Oh, yeah? If you think
my Rick's dead, he's alive.
350
00:13:44,982 --> 00:13:47,149
And if you think you're safe,
he's coming for you!
351
00:13:53,424 --> 00:13:54,957
Hey, whoa, whoa!
What are you doing in here?
352
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:57,459
This area's for teleporting
the entire Citadel
353
00:13:57,461 --> 00:14:00,095
to somewhere else
using only buttons and dials.
354
00:14:00,097 --> 00:14:01,730
Yeah, well, it's a bad idea
355
00:14:01,732 --> 00:14:04,600
to have it designed
that way then, isn't it?
356
00:14:09,707 --> 00:14:11,640
What the [bleep]?!
357
00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:14,209
We just teleported into
a galactic federal prison.
358
00:14:14,211 --> 00:14:16,712
I'm gonna go take a shit.
359
00:14:16,714 --> 00:14:18,146
Order in the court!
360
00:14:18,148 --> 00:14:19,948
Whoa! What the hell?!
Oh, my God!
361
00:14:23,621 --> 00:14:25,487
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
No, no, no!
362
00:14:28,058 --> 00:14:31,126
Whoa!
363
00:14:31,128 --> 00:14:32,628
Whoa!
364
00:14:39,236 --> 00:14:43,372
The Citadel's been teleported
to Federation space.
365
00:14:43,374 --> 00:14:45,907
It's doomed.
This has to be C-137, you guys.
366
00:14:45,909 --> 00:14:47,643
- What are we gonna do?!
- You know he's coming for us.
367
00:14:47,645 --> 00:14:49,878
All right, calm down!
We have his Summer as a hostage.
368
00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:51,013
Obviously, I get her.
369
00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:53,548
You guys play Rick, Laser,
Scissors for the Morty.
370
00:14:55,052 --> 00:14:58,153
- W-W-What the hell is that?
- Payback.
371
00:15:00,724 --> 00:15:02,257
Grandpa Rick!
372
00:15:02,259 --> 00:15:03,859
- Duh!
- You're alive!
373
00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:04,436
Rick!
374
00:15:04,461 --> 00:15:06,961
Morty, take this.
You're gonna need it later.
375
00:15:10,501 --> 00:15:12,401
- Hold on, hold on.
- Whoa!
376
00:15:12,403 --> 00:15:14,036
That's enough, Rick.
377
00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:15,804
What -- What's this
supposed to accomplish?
378
00:15:15,806 --> 00:15:17,806
We have infinite grandkids.
379
00:15:17,808 --> 00:15:19,775
You're trying to use Disney bucks
at a Caesar's Palace here.
380
00:15:19,777 --> 00:15:22,377
That's a bluff.
He's bluffing, sir. He loves me.
381
00:15:22,379 --> 00:15:24,913
You're a rogue Rick --
Irrational, passionate.
382
00:15:24,915 --> 00:15:27,616
You love your grandkids.
You came to rescue them.
383
00:15:27,618 --> 00:15:29,451
I came to kill you, bro.
384
00:15:29,453 --> 00:15:30,986
That's not even
my original Summer.
385
00:15:30,988 --> 00:15:32,821
Oh, my God. He's not bluffing.
He's not bluffing!
386
00:15:32,823 --> 00:15:34,790
- R-Rick?
- Why not shoot through her?
387
00:15:34,792 --> 00:15:37,059
20 yards, nine-gauge
plasma pistol,
388
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:39,494
My first shot would liquify
her insides and injure you,
389
00:15:39,496 --> 00:15:41,163
second shot adds recoil.
390
00:15:41,165 --> 00:15:43,365
The risk to me is minimized
if I wait for you to shoot her,
391
00:15:43,367 --> 00:15:44,766
which I'm encouraging
you to do.
392
00:15:44,768 --> 00:15:46,335
- What the [bleep]?!
- Or let her go,
393
00:15:46,337 --> 00:15:48,103
which I will reward
with a quicker death.
394
00:15:48,105 --> 00:15:49,705
Because you love her!
395
00:15:49,707 --> 00:15:52,441
Because it's incentive for you
to give me my cleanest shot,
396
00:15:52,443 --> 00:15:54,109
which will be your
least painful death.
397
00:15:54,111 --> 00:15:56,611
But if you want to die slower
than that, I'm super into it.
398
00:15:56,613 --> 00:15:58,613
All you got to do to get
that started is kill the girl.
399
00:15:58,615 --> 00:16:00,982
- I hate you!
- Not an issue, sweetie.
400
00:16:00,984 --> 00:16:02,851
That's enough!
Drop the gun, Rick!
401
00:16:02,853 --> 00:16:04,720
Morty, I know you're too stupid
to get this,
402
00:16:04,722 --> 00:16:06,388
but you're really [bleep]
this up right now.
403
00:16:06,390 --> 00:16:08,924
I'm not letting you let my
sister die! Drop the gun!
404
00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:10,926
I wasn't gonna let her die,
you [bleep] moron!
405
00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:12,094
- Ha!
- Aww.
406
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:13,762
The point is he thought
I was going to.
407
00:16:13,764 --> 00:16:15,163
I totally did, by the way.
408
00:16:15,165 --> 00:16:17,933
- You're a [bleep] moron, Morty.
- Morty, you [bleep] idiot!
409
00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:19,634
You're a serious
[bleep] idiot, Morty!
410
00:16:19,636 --> 00:16:21,203
You basically killed us all!
411
00:16:21,205 --> 00:16:23,325
- You're the worst!
- You're as dumb as a bag of sand.
412
00:16:28,746 --> 00:16:30,379
Who's stupid now, bitch?!
413
00:16:30,381 --> 00:16:32,414
Morty, we just got him back!
414
00:16:33,751 --> 00:16:35,150
That was amazing, Morty.
415
00:16:35,152 --> 00:16:36,518
Oh, my God.
Wow.
416
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:37,853
Okay, let's wrap this...
417
00:16:39,556 --> 00:16:41,256
Good job, Morty.
Let's go, kids.
418
00:16:41,258 --> 00:16:42,591
What?!
What happened?
419
00:16:42,593 --> 00:16:44,326
Oldest Rick trick in the book.
420
00:16:44,328 --> 00:16:46,428
"Fake gun,
shoot me in standoff."
421
00:16:46,430 --> 00:16:47,696
- Brilliant.
- Ha, yeah.
422
00:16:47,698 --> 00:16:50,232
G-Good thing I saw that note.
423
00:16:50,234 --> 00:16:53,268
♪
424
00:16:56,407 --> 00:16:58,273
Can't we just portal home?
425
00:16:58,275 --> 00:17:00,008
Not until I finish
what I started.
426
00:17:00,810 --> 00:17:04,446
And that is how you get level-nine
access without a password.
427
00:17:04,448 --> 00:17:06,181
Freeze!
428
00:17:06,183 --> 00:17:08,049
Employee of the month,
ladies and gentlemen.
429
00:17:08,051 --> 00:17:10,152
So, what are you doing
with level-nine access anyways?
430
00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:12,954
- Destroying the galactic government.
- Awesome!
431
00:17:12,956 --> 00:17:15,023
Are you going to set all their
nukes to target each other?
432
00:17:15,025 --> 00:17:16,825
Ooh, or -- or reprogram
their military portals
433
00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:18,493
to disintegrate
their entire space fleet?
434
00:17:18,495 --> 00:17:20,529
Good pitches, kids.
I'm almost proud.
435
00:17:20,531 --> 00:17:22,831
But watch closely as Grandpa
topples an empire
436
00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:26,167
by changing a one...
to a zero.
437
00:17:28,972 --> 00:17:31,573
Mr. President, the Blemflarck's
value just dropped to nothing.
438
00:17:31,575 --> 00:17:32,409
What do you mean?
439
00:17:32,434 --> 00:17:34,910
I mean, our single
centralized galactic currency
440
00:17:34,912 --> 00:17:38,713
just went from being worth one
of itself to zero of itself.
441
00:17:38,715 --> 00:17:40,582
Calm down, people.
442
00:17:40,584 --> 00:17:42,951
Deploy the galactic militia
and declare martial law.
443
00:17:42,953 --> 00:17:43,952
Yes, sir.
444
00:17:43,954 --> 00:17:45,821
Uh, what should I
pay them with?
445
00:17:45,823 --> 00:17:48,723
Their payment is the honor
they'll feel to serve their --
446
00:17:48,725 --> 00:17:50,725
Wait. Who's paying me
to yell at this guy?
447
00:17:50,727 --> 00:17:53,161
I can answer that --
For money.
448
00:17:53,163 --> 00:17:54,663
I never thought I'd live to see
this day.
449
00:17:54,665 --> 00:17:56,031
Gentlemen, gentlemen,
gentlemen!
450
00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:58,500
There's a solution here
you're not seeing.
451
00:18:01,905 --> 00:18:03,705
- Give me your jacket!
- Give me those pants!
452
00:18:09,513 --> 00:18:11,746
There's
no rich people or poor people!
453
00:18:11,748 --> 00:18:13,482
I want more jackets!
454
00:18:13,484 --> 00:18:16,184
He who controls the pants
controls the galaxy!
455
00:18:30,267 --> 00:18:34,603
No longer will the insects
have domain over surface world!
456
00:18:42,479 --> 00:18:44,779
Jerry, what the hell
is happening?!
457
00:18:44,781 --> 00:18:46,882
The galactic government
collapsed.
458
00:18:46,884 --> 00:18:48,116
Are you okay?
459
00:18:48,118 --> 00:18:49,784
Look, I-I'm not proud to share
this, but the truth is,
460
00:18:49,786 --> 00:18:51,553
I just kept crawling,
and it kept working.
461
00:18:51,555 --> 00:18:53,355
Oh, I'm glad you're okay.
462
00:18:53,357 --> 00:18:57,425
Are we ever going to stop paying
for indulging your father?
463
00:18:57,427 --> 00:19:00,328
Our children, our planet,
our jobs?
464
00:19:00,330 --> 00:19:01,796
Is there anything left to lose?
465
00:19:01,798 --> 00:19:04,165
Just each other,
and I'll never let you go.
466
00:19:04,167 --> 00:19:07,269
And I'm so sorry
I ever did this to us.
467
00:19:07,838 --> 00:19:10,138
Guess who dismantled
the government?
468
00:19:10,140 --> 00:19:12,107
- Please don't leave me again.
- I never will, baby.
469
00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:14,075
I was right.
He turned himself in on purpose.
470
00:19:14,077 --> 00:19:15,477
It was all part of his plan!
471
00:19:15,479 --> 00:19:17,045
Jerry, is there any
light beer left?
472
00:19:17,047 --> 00:19:18,813
It's insane what you miss
in prison.
473
00:19:18,815 --> 00:19:20,815
Um... okay.
No.
474
00:19:20,817 --> 00:19:22,918
No, no, no.
Foot down time.
475
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:24,519
No, you're right.
Where's the vodka?
476
00:19:24,521 --> 00:19:26,755
Beth, it's him or me!
477
00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:32,627
Seems like you guys
need some privacy.
478
00:19:32,629 --> 00:19:34,930
I'll, uh --
I'll be in the garage.
479
00:19:36,900 --> 00:19:40,368
What the [bleep]!
Not cool, Jerry!
480
00:19:40,370 --> 00:19:44,172
A man's garage is his castle.
481
00:19:49,813 --> 00:19:53,582
Jerry's going to...
spend some time...
482
00:19:53,584 --> 00:19:54,849
divorced.
483
00:19:54,851 --> 00:19:56,551
Oh, I-I'm sorry
to hear that, sweetie.
484
00:19:56,553 --> 00:19:57,953
I hope I had nothing
to do with that.
485
00:19:57,955 --> 00:20:00,722
Oh, God, Dad, that is not
your burden to bear.
486
00:20:00,724 --> 00:20:03,558
I feel terrible
that I misjudged you.
487
00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:05,360
This is gonna be good for Jerry.
488
00:20:05,362 --> 00:20:07,295
- For everybody.
- For everybody.
489
00:20:08,532 --> 00:20:10,465
I better tend to Jerry
490
00:20:10,467 --> 00:20:13,101
before he changes his mind
and doesn't move out.
491
00:20:13,103 --> 00:20:15,470
I will leave you two
to your adventures.
492
00:20:15,472 --> 00:20:17,172
Oh, my God.
Nancy says
493
00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:19,674
they're drawing and quartering
aliens in the school courtyard,
494
00:20:19,676 --> 00:20:21,977
and it technically counts
as patriotism.
495
00:20:21,979 --> 00:20:24,913
Geez! Are my parents seriously
gonna get divorced?
496
00:20:24,915 --> 00:20:26,348
All right, Rick,
I'm gonna go to my --
497
00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:28,183
Not so fast, Morty.
You heard your mom.
498
00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:30,752
We've got adventures to go on,
Morty -- just you and me --
499
00:20:30,754 --> 00:20:32,821
And sometimes your sister
and sometimes your mom,
500
00:20:32,823 --> 00:20:34,322
but never your dad.
501
00:20:34,324 --> 00:20:35,824
You want to know why, Morty?
Because he crossed me.
502
00:20:35,826 --> 00:20:37,659
Okay, take it easy, Rick.
T-T-That's dark.
503
00:20:37,661 --> 00:20:39,127
Oh, it gets darker, Morty.
504
00:20:39,129 --> 00:20:41,096
Welcome to the darkest year
of our adventures.
505
00:20:41,098 --> 00:20:43,632
First thing that's different --
No more Dad, Morty.
506
00:20:43,634 --> 00:20:45,166
He threatened to turn me in
to the government,
507
00:20:45,168 --> 00:20:47,235
so I made him
and the government go away.
508
00:20:47,237 --> 00:20:48,503
Oh [bleep]!
509
00:20:48,505 --> 00:20:50,872
I've replaced them both
as the de facto patriarch
510
00:20:50,874 --> 00:20:52,607
of your family
and your universe.
511
00:20:52,609 --> 00:20:54,509
Your mom wouldn't have
accepted me if I came home...
512
00:20:54,511 --> 00:20:56,077
...without you
and your sister,
513
00:20:56,079 --> 00:20:57,912
so now you know the real
reason I rescued you.
514
00:20:57,914 --> 00:20:59,481
I just took over the family,
Morty, and if you tell your mom...
515
00:20:59,483 --> 00:21:01,616
or sister I said any of this,
I'll deny it,
516
00:21:01,618 --> 00:21:03,151
You're gonna deny it and they'll take
my side because I'm a hero, Morty.
517
00:21:03,153 --> 00:21:04,653
And now you're gonna
have to go...
518
00:21:04,655 --> 00:21:06,321
...and do whatever I say,
Morty, forever!
519
00:21:06,323 --> 00:21:08,223
And I'll -- I'll go out
and I'll find some more of that
520
00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:11,326
"Mulan" Szechuan teriyaki
dipping sauce, Morty.
521
00:21:11,328 --> 00:21:12,091
What are you talking about?
522
00:21:12,115 --> 00:21:13,728
Because that's that's what
this is all about, Morty.
523
00:21:13,730 --> 00:21:15,330
- Szechuan?
- That's my one-armed man!
524
00:21:15,332 --> 00:21:17,465
I'm not driven by avenging
my dead family, Morty!
525
00:21:17,467 --> 00:21:18,767
That was fake.
526
00:21:18,769 --> 00:21:20,301
I-I-I'm driven by finding
that McNugget sauce.
527
00:21:20,303 --> 00:21:22,604
I want that "Mulan"
McNugget sauce, Morty!
528
00:21:22,606 --> 00:21:23,905
- That's my series arc, Morty.
- What the hell?
529
00:21:23,907 --> 00:21:26,207
If it takes nine seasons,
530
00:21:26,209 --> 00:21:28,843
I want my McNugget dipping
sauce, Szechuan sauce, Morty.
531
00:21:28,845 --> 00:21:30,779
That's what's gonna take us all
the way to the end, Morty.
532
00:21:30,781 --> 00:21:32,380
Season -- Nine more
seasons, Morty.
533
00:21:32,382 --> 00:21:34,816
Nine more seasons until I get
that dipping Szechuan sauce.
534
00:21:34,818 --> 00:21:36,785
- What is that?!
- For 97 more years, Morty!
535
00:21:36,787 --> 00:21:37,986
What are you talking about?!
536
00:21:37,988 --> 00:21:39,654
I want that McNugget sauce,
Morty!
537
00:21:39,656 --> 00:21:42,257
♪
538
00:21:42,281 --> 00:21:48,281
Corrections by XhmikosR
www.addic7ed.com
539
00:22:14,858 --> 00:22:16,057
Is it ready?
540
00:22:16,059 --> 00:22:17,625
Yes.
We can bring it online now.
541
00:22:17,627 --> 00:22:19,027
Do it.
542
00:22:22,365 --> 00:22:25,133
I am Phoenix Person.
543
00:22:25,135 --> 00:22:27,168
Phoenix Person?
Is that what we settled on?
544
00:22:27,170 --> 00:22:29,170
I thought we all agreed
on Cyber Bird.
545
00:22:29,172 --> 00:22:30,872
You said you didn't care
what he was called
546
00:22:30,874 --> 00:22:32,407
as long as we brought him back.
547
00:22:32,409 --> 00:22:33,875
Yeah, but Phoenix Person?
548
00:22:33,877 --> 00:22:35,477
Fine [bleep] it.
Who cares?
549
00:22:36,713 --> 00:22:38,680
Ka-kaw!